It too find the topic tiresome and nearly irrelevant. I'm super happy that "queer" can no longer be used to bully and terrorize. Yay! But for me, the more pertinent question is: When Everyone Can Be a ‘Queer’ theorist, Is Anyone?
16
Queer was the word used in the mid-sixties, by my personal bully Ken, that felt like a knife in my guts. He'd scream it down the hallway at school whenever he saw me, calling me out by name. A form of personal terrorism, really. I was gay, and coming out wasn't an option in a small town in Pennsylvania. I got out of town as quickly as I could after graduating. Moving to a larger city and finding my tribe saved my life. I came out and blew up my closet behind me, so there'd be no closet to retreat to. I was given my self-respect and dignity by my mentor, Miss Pettis. His courage to be himself, everywhere he went, no matter how public, astounded me. He showed me how to lay down the weight of the fear I'd been carrying, and I became a new person. Myself.
When queer nation came on the scene during the AIDS crisis, I heard and rethought the word that had been used to persecute me, now felt powerful and I owned it. Not just being in the group, but because I WAS queer. I'd never done things conventionally. I'd never fit in as a kid. I wore crazy clothes, had weird ideas. I had a twisted way of looking at things. My gay friends knew that I was a bit "off" even among them. An odd fit. I chose to own it. I was queer. Even around the gayest weirdos I knew. It fit. It's not a label. It's genuinely who I am. A happy, 65 year old Queer man who happens to be gay.
When queer nation came on the scene during the AIDS crisis, I heard and rethought the word that had been used to persecute me, now felt powerful and I owned it. Not just being in the group, but because I WAS queer. I'd never done things conventionally. I'd never fit in as a kid. I wore crazy clothes, had weird ideas. I had a twisted way of looking at things. My gay friends knew that I was a bit "off" even among them. An odd fit. I chose to own it. I was queer. Even around the gayest weirdos I knew. It fit. It's not a label. It's genuinely who I am. A happy, 65 year old Queer man who happens to be gay.
17
It's not fun to be queer anymore according to this article. It's become the norm. "Why can't we all just get along". I think that phrase became popular years back. I think nature or God, which ever you prefer to call it, created gender for reproduction of the species. Same sex or no sex or transgender sex etc. must turn to male female ovaries and sperm to create another. So, all these genders or lack of still must rely on the old fashion male female mating to get more of all the different genders that we now claim are among us. So what's changed? Nothing I can see. The old slogan by Dupont, "Better living through chemistry" is still true. Chemistry and surgery can now create whatever you want to be called. I have to laugh at the whole human comedy.
7
Queer culture is a great start on a social change that needs support from the political and social forces in our world. As the author points out, albeit weakly, culture is not enough to change the way people actually live. It is a pointer and an encouragement to a more equal and mutually supportive society.
When people can self identify themselves into whatever they want to be, what difference does all this make?
12
When I passed the New York State Bar Exam in 1979 and was called in for my Bar interview, one of the questions asked was whether I had been convicted of a crime of moral turpitude (talk about elastic categories!).
At the time, having consensual sex with another man was a "a crime of moral turpitude" in many of our States. Had the much older man I loved in 1975-76--when I was in law school--died of a heart attack in my bed, my career would have been through before it began.
It did not seem apparent in 1979 that many high-powered law firms earned a good part of their income as lobbying outfits, cogs in a wheel of politics-as-prostitution of oath of office. Some "successful" lawyers offer blind advocacy of something one knew was unethical, illegal, or just plain wrong on the facts to earn a fee. That's the REAL moral turpitude, institutionalized by tolerance. Neither was what I would do for a living: I would simply try to resolve commercial disputes based on the documents and evidence at hand.
Queer, gay, LGBTQ, whatever. We are all human beings and should leave it at that, and try to live, let live, and let our lives be positive and contribute something to our families (whatever their composition) and the community at large.
At the time, having consensual sex with another man was a "a crime of moral turpitude" in many of our States. Had the much older man I loved in 1975-76--when I was in law school--died of a heart attack in my bed, my career would have been through before it began.
It did not seem apparent in 1979 that many high-powered law firms earned a good part of their income as lobbying outfits, cogs in a wheel of politics-as-prostitution of oath of office. Some "successful" lawyers offer blind advocacy of something one knew was unethical, illegal, or just plain wrong on the facts to earn a fee. That's the REAL moral turpitude, institutionalized by tolerance. Neither was what I would do for a living: I would simply try to resolve commercial disputes based on the documents and evidence at hand.
Queer, gay, LGBTQ, whatever. We are all human beings and should leave it at that, and try to live, let live, and let our lives be positive and contribute something to our families (whatever their composition) and the community at large.
5
Perhaps it is my age. I am 81 years old going on death. I consider the “Q” word applied to gay people as being as obnoxious and hateful as the “N” word applied to African Americans. I cringe when I hear that word and I most definitely do not wish that word to be applied to me. Perhaps young folk today find the word less lethal because they have never experienced anyone spitting out that word at them in a hateful and threatening manner. Even bigots today have learned to be politically correct in public. I suppose that could be considered some sign of progress.
11
Do we really think that all will be better when our "political leaders" (you know who I am writing about) finally complete their mission of labeling everyone? Once we are sufficiently and completely labeled by race, religion, gender and party affiliation these same "politicians" can then devise specific laws for how the other labeled people should treat each and every labeled group.
America can then drop "E pluribus unum" and become E pluribus pluribus.
America can then drop "E pluribus unum" and become E pluribus pluribus.
2
There are no more queers. There is no more underground. In the future, it will be a lot more difficult to be cool.
6
The ever-expanding acronyms to describe sexual minorities are clunky and, frankly, obnoxious. But "queer" is patently offensive to many people, myself included.
Perhaps it's time to consider that an umbrella this big does a disservice to everyone in the LGBT community. The politics of empowerment that fought for marriage rights, workplace protections, health care, HIV/AIDS prevention, etc., has devolved into a petty, narcissistic politics of self-edification -- an enforcement regime of political correctness, language-policing, and finger-wagging reeducation campaigns. The movement now includes full-throated advocates for kink, polyamory, and asexuality... is this really necessary? Gay rights used to mean fighting for the opportunity to live like everyone else; now it feels like a fight to force our most provocative constructs down everyone else's throats.
Perhaps it's time to consider that an umbrella this big does a disservice to everyone in the LGBT community. The politics of empowerment that fought for marriage rights, workplace protections, health care, HIV/AIDS prevention, etc., has devolved into a petty, narcissistic politics of self-edification -- an enforcement regime of political correctness, language-policing, and finger-wagging reeducation campaigns. The movement now includes full-throated advocates for kink, polyamory, and asexuality... is this really necessary? Gay rights used to mean fighting for the opportunity to live like everyone else; now it feels like a fight to force our most provocative constructs down everyone else's throats.
23
Is there a letter in the alphabet for someone who doesn't identify with any of this? I find the whole topic exhausting and actually, very self indulgent.
38
You wrote: " I find the whole topic exhausting and actually, very self indulgent."
I cannot agree with you more. I will add: "Enough already. Please, enough. Stop it. I cannot take it anymore." Why can't we all just get along? It is hard enough getting through the day and then you die."
I cannot agree with you more. I will add: "Enough already. Please, enough. Stop it. I cannot take it anymore." Why can't we all just get along? It is hard enough getting through the day and then you die."
11
"My own suspicion is that the Universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose." -J.B.S. Haldane, British geneticist and evolutionary biologist
9
That God has an "inordinate fondness for beetles" must be among the more bizarre predilections.
1
As someone who lived in the Castro District in S.F. in 1975 and knew Harvey Milk personally during the early days of gay liberation I embraced the term "gay man" since it functioned to reverse the spin on the names "faggot" and "fairy" I had been smeared with in my hometown.
This many years later I tend to agree with Rupaul "The" Drag Queen when he affirms we are not our gender, job title, net worth or party affiliation but something infinitely more wonderful than all that.
After living through the darkest days of AIDs and Reagan I happy to say what Ru is referring to there feels not only heartfelt but a lot like liberation to me.
This many years later I tend to agree with Rupaul "The" Drag Queen when he affirms we are not our gender, job title, net worth or party affiliation but something infinitely more wonderful than all that.
After living through the darkest days of AIDs and Reagan I happy to say what Ru is referring to there feels not only heartfelt but a lot like liberation to me.
9
Integration, "potentiality", implicit bias and the comparative idea of a "Bonobo"?
GUUUURL! There I was minding my own business, sitting under a Cypress tree sipping on a Mint Julip.
GUUUURL! There I was minding my own business, sitting under a Cypress tree sipping on a Mint Julip.
5
Stay out of adults lives.
Stay out of kids bathroom/locker room issues. Leave them to local school boards and parents not Washington...
Stay out of kids bathroom/locker room issues. Leave them to local school boards and parents not Washington...
2
I think to be "queer" is to be self-authorizing and pro-active, rather being obedient out of fear, never discovering life beyond prescribed comfort zones of habit and herd. Virginia Woof probably said it more clearly, "This soul, or life within us,…is always saying the very opposite to what other people say.
—Virginia Woolf, The Common Reader (1925)
—Virginia Woolf, The Common Reader (1925)
4
Not to engage with any other part of this article, but the Sims has allowed same-sex relationships since the first game was published in 2000.
7
My experience with the phrase "queer" came mostly from straight, but gay allies who couldn't identify with "straight" culture, or the patriarchy, or however you want to define mainstream culture. It felt like our need for identity- tribalism- to be an outsider....
I'm a straight, white, male and when I read or hear about the voting patterns or political marks of other people in that group (which is still "mainstream" and "the patriarchy", I don't see myself. The people I share my beliefs and opinions with is not that group. I'm not gay... so "queer" therefore seems to be something to identify with.
I don't though. I don't like the term and I try to resist the urge to tribalism in any form (and I also am aware of the special privilege I have as a SWM to be against identifying labels).
I'm a straight, white, male and when I read or hear about the voting patterns or political marks of other people in that group (which is still "mainstream" and "the patriarchy", I don't see myself. The people I share my beliefs and opinions with is not that group. I'm not gay... so "queer" therefore seems to be something to identify with.
I don't though. I don't like the term and I try to resist the urge to tribalism in any form (and I also am aware of the special privilege I have as a SWM to be against identifying labels).
3
I do not pretend to fully understand the whole spectrum of sexual identity and gender as a Heterosexual White Male Baby Boomer and would posit that few inside or outside dos well. What I do know is that I support the rights of adults to seek and express themselves sexually as they see fit with other consenting adults without discrimination.
Having had a Gay roommate in the US Army (Hey, Mark) and a Freshman Gat Roommate in College (Hey, Tony) opened my eyes well beyond the disinformation we were raised with in Church, in school and by society. Through them and elsewhere life has exposed me to a wide variety of people on the rainbow spectrum of sexuality and sexual identity and the acceptance they are now getting is long overdue and came at a terrible price. My career in healthcare goes back long enough to remember when HIV/AIDS was a death sentence and most of America did not seem to care.
What is happening within the spectrum of sexual identity and preference I would liken to the riot of flowers that blossom in the Desert after a rare wet winter. After being repressed for so long, the people who live in and research these communities have burst out in full bloom and it is going to take a season to sort things out.
Having had a Gay roommate in the US Army (Hey, Mark) and a Freshman Gat Roommate in College (Hey, Tony) opened my eyes well beyond the disinformation we were raised with in Church, in school and by society. Through them and elsewhere life has exposed me to a wide variety of people on the rainbow spectrum of sexuality and sexual identity and the acceptance they are now getting is long overdue and came at a terrible price. My career in healthcare goes back long enough to remember when HIV/AIDS was a death sentence and most of America did not seem to care.
What is happening within the spectrum of sexual identity and preference I would liken to the riot of flowers that blossom in the Desert after a rare wet winter. After being repressed for so long, the people who live in and research these communities have burst out in full bloom and it is going to take a season to sort things out.
17
Isn't that the point? Let's just enjoy our diversity!!!
1
Unclear wording in this article suggests that the late Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick currently teaches at Duke. The titan of queer and feminist theory passed in 2009.
1
..."can" be queer? People do not choose to be their sexual identify. Queer was a political word and the "softness" (and reclaiming of a once - used slur against non-heterosexuals)of it stuck, and, therefore, stayed. It is just another word to describe lesbian, gay, etc. etc., or to define the undecided non-straight. A heterosexual is not queer. Personally, I think people are capable of defining themselves much more accurately than queer. Remember when being bisexual was acceptable over being lesbian or gay? This word queer remains offensive to me because it is a washed down word and short of defining anything accept a person's non appreciation of straight-forward communication.
3
It's not a "profoundly exhilarating revolution", and the world does not have a "vast spectrum of gender and sexual identities".
The former opinion is subjective. The second statement is a matter of fact, notwithstanding certain deluded Westerners. Fortunately.
The former opinion is subjective. The second statement is a matter of fact, notwithstanding certain deluded Westerners. Fortunately.
2
The Sims game has always allowed you to make same sex couples and they will go to bed and make "who-hoo". I can't remember if they could get married, but they could adopt. I've always made interracial couples and biracial children and same sex couples with the Sims since I started playing the Sims nearly 20 years ago. I don't know why, except I like diversity. Some of m couples also cheat on each other and have affairs which makes the other spouse cry, puts them in a bad mood, they'll slap the face of the cheater, and causes breakups. Just like real life!
Now I have like playing them again1
Now I have like playing them again1
4
the latest reminders that equality has yet to arrive."
I hate to be a downer, but this is likely to NEVER happen, in the same way that "race relations" aren't going to happen. If we have good relations, we don;t need "race relations" right? It is just people. When we talk about relations we automatically make distinctions. What we are likely to get, unfortunately, is simply better tolerance of all people. Reading the comments on articles dealing with "queer folk" and "black issues" tells me that what the media says is wide-spread acceptance is actually a very small number of people who get news prominence. Don't get me wrong, I would like to see the USA and the world just having people, not this or that group but I'm too old to believe it is going to happen. At this time in our "development" we are just too angry about everything.
I hate to be a downer, but this is likely to NEVER happen, in the same way that "race relations" aren't going to happen. If we have good relations, we don;t need "race relations" right? It is just people. When we talk about relations we automatically make distinctions. What we are likely to get, unfortunately, is simply better tolerance of all people. Reading the comments on articles dealing with "queer folk" and "black issues" tells me that what the media says is wide-spread acceptance is actually a very small number of people who get news prominence. Don't get me wrong, I would like to see the USA and the world just having people, not this or that group but I'm too old to believe it is going to happen. At this time in our "development" we are just too angry about everything.
7
quer as used in naming a musical instrument e.g. the flute in German is querfloete or (a)cross flute or transverse flute. Some people seem to play it pretty much parallel to the ground i.e. NOT oblique, and some with a bit of a tilt. Context is everything.
Also "queer" is used to denote counterfeit money. so a "queer" guy could be a counterfeit guy, a not-real guy, and the possibilities could go on. Sadly, like "gay" we have lost a good word to a very narrow use. Sometimes a "queer feeling" is appropriately descriptive without being sexual.
Also "queer" is used to denote counterfeit money. so a "queer" guy could be a counterfeit guy, a not-real guy, and the possibilities could go on. Sadly, like "gay" we have lost a good word to a very narrow use. Sometimes a "queer feeling" is appropriately descriptive without being sexual.
2
Querflöte, thank you. I am spending too much time in the US.
1
Is the term supposed to be potent or descriptive?
Trying to be 'normal' is the ultimate perversion.
9
The word "queer" is a perfect example of the nature of language change. The semantics of words may change according to geography, social changes and even by conscious appropriation. Since the meanings of words are determined by the interation language/speakers/society, it is no surprise that a specific sub-group was able to appropriate from the word queer and transform its meaning. But then again, people, even in this specific milieu, are not homogeneous, not everybody will agree with the new usage of the term "queer". Ultimately, the members of the [should I say] gay/"queer" community are the one who decide whether they will be called like this or not.
I'm surprised to find no mention of Gay Shame in this piece. They were all over the issue of "gay mainstreaming" eons ago. As an ancient straight guy who lived in the pre-AIDS Castro and played in the band for the Angles of Light drag troupe, I find today's queens and their "issues" a yawn. LGBTQQIAAP? "They"? Oh puh-leeze!
11
As a not-so-activist gay person with many activist friends, I can say that some of the more battle-hardened among them feel a bit short-changed with current developments. Support from straight "allies" has quickly turned into appropriation, they feel. I think there is something to this argument. The LGBT movement has been so expanded that plain old "gay man" and "lesbian woman" feel like blase identifiers within it. And I can understand how people who faced very real persecution and threats to their safety while fighting for their sexual orientation and/or gender identity feel like their struggles have been quickly forgotten in this battle to expand the LGBT umbrella to include the "flavor of the day" (for lack of a better term).
26
Queerness.. At this point it seems to me is "full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." Whatever deeper cultural radicalism was associated with a gender or orientation that departed from "normative", well the very cry for acceptance is simultaneously a cry for alignment, for commonality. Thus my gay friends are CEO's of luxury fashion brands, publicists, architects to wealthy. Their dreams are perfectly mainstream: to gain wealth, to raise families, to have a second house in the Catskills. When I heard a story on npr about transgender women being overrepresented in the armed forces (it's theorized the macho culture of the military resonates with and compensates for a suppressed masculinity in their case), I was shocked. Why would the most marginalized group of people want to serve as a tool of imperial power?! But I was naive. There is no connection between "queerness" and radicalism other than the alienation that results from non-acceptance and rejection. The more a group is accepted and bigotry dies down, the more that group becomes indistinguishable in its choices from all other people. Thus the machinery of empire and consumption rolls along in its' somnambulant fashion.
Yeats: ... So the platonic year whirls out new right and wrong, whirls in the old instead, all men are dancers and their tread, goes to the barbarous clangor of a gong.."
Yeats: ... So the platonic year whirls out new right and wrong, whirls in the old instead, all men are dancers and their tread, goes to the barbarous clangor of a gong.."
10
I couldn't agree with you more. Neither gender nor sexual preference, neither race nor national origin guarantees or even hints at radicalism or progressivism or liberalism. We all thought Obama would be progressive and poor human unfortunately he was and is a coloration just like Hillary!
Be careful of glib superficial labels...they are just that.
Be careful of glib superficial labels...they are just that.
2
"There is no connection between "queerness" and radicalism other than the alienation that results from non-acceptance and rejection. The more a group is accepted and bigotry dies down, the more that group becomes indistinguishable in its choices from all other people. Thus the machinery of empire and consumption rolls along in its' somnambulant fashion."
Exactly. Why did the barriers to same-sex marriage fall so quickly? It's good for capitalism! We're all Log Cabin Republicans now.
Exactly. Why did the barriers to same-sex marriage fall so quickly? It's good for capitalism! We're all Log Cabin Republicans now.
2
Also, being Queer is not a reaction against. It is an individual becoming open to the possibilities of both sex and relationships in general....to not be tied to ANY lable or roll. I'm a lesbian most of the time, but I'm also queer and open to men as well, or multiple people, or just myself. Queer is possibility. Not queer is rigid.
Straight people can definitely be queer. I'm a Transgender lesbian and I am definitely also queer.
Queer is a state of mind, a persoective. You have to be willing to try new things and be with people that you didn't think you would enjoy being with. My partner and I are polyamorous, and being poly is a form of being Queer.
You can also try some new fetishises when you embrace queer. I personally love pony play. The gear is just so cool.
So being Queer is a lifestyle, and unlike being gay or Transgender, it is a lifestyle you can choose.
Queer is a state of mind, a persoective. You have to be willing to try new things and be with people that you didn't think you would enjoy being with. My partner and I are polyamorous, and being poly is a form of being Queer.
You can also try some new fetishises when you embrace queer. I personally love pony play. The gear is just so cool.
So being Queer is a lifestyle, and unlike being gay or Transgender, it is a lifestyle you can choose.
The successful fight for recognition has resulted in a familiarity and acceptability that may reduce the original status to something more mundane and common place than originally intended.
2
This raises some interestinf questions about the direction of the movement for LGBTQ equality: does the community, in an attempt to hold onto the culture it has created and preserve recognition of the struggles it has endured, want to draw the line between "us" and them"; or will the potential for complete acceptance draw enough of an audience that this partially welcomed assimilation of a marginalized group will lead to the erosion of the once "exclusive" culture that so many define themselves by? Is this appropriation, which to some is what the movement has been fighting for, really what is desired?
I guess that for a group/culture whose entire basis is individuality and self-defined membership, the eventual dissolving of its exclusivity (and thus potentially itself) through increasing acceptance and appropriation is inevitable.
I guess that for a group/culture whose entire basis is individuality and self-defined membership, the eventual dissolving of its exclusivity (and thus potentially itself) through increasing acceptance and appropriation is inevitable.
3
Sims have always been able to be gay!
Patrick Barrett, one of the game's programmers, quoted in The New Yorker's 'Elements' blog ("The Kiss That Changed Video Games"):
“At the time [of the game's release], it wasn’t considered ‘normal’ to be gay or lesbian,” he said. “Some even saw it as dangerous. But in The Sims it was normal and safe to be a gay person. It was the first time we could play a game and be free to see ourselves represented within. It was a magical moment when my first same-sex Sims coupled kissed. I still sometimes wonder how in the world I got away with it.”
Patrick Barrett, one of the game's programmers, quoted in The New Yorker's 'Elements' blog ("The Kiss That Changed Video Games"):
“At the time [of the game's release], it wasn’t considered ‘normal’ to be gay or lesbian,” he said. “Some even saw it as dangerous. But in The Sims it was normal and safe to be a gay person. It was the first time we could play a game and be free to see ourselves represented within. It was a magical moment when my first same-sex Sims coupled kissed. I still sometimes wonder how in the world I got away with it.”
4
In the animal kingdom gay sex is rampant...in a cultural society that teaches hate and fear...they will kill you if you love someone of your same sex.....as they demonize it to make you submit to there views and will power.
Thank you, Jenna Wortham, for your sharing your artfully empathetic, enlightening, deeply thought-provoking and poignant view of the current state of modern Queerness.
Your writing beautifully illustrates that being Queer clearly carries the status of having multi-faceted and kaleidoscopic dimensions. Reading this piece, I am reminded of Walt Whitman's words from his "Song of Myself."
"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself;
I am large, I contain multitudes."
Thank you so much, NYTimes for printing this piece. And, thank you, Ms (or Mx) Wortham, for creating this very memorable work of art.
Your writing beautifully illustrates that being Queer clearly carries the status of having multi-faceted and kaleidoscopic dimensions. Reading this piece, I am reminded of Walt Whitman's words from his "Song of Myself."
"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself;
I am large, I contain multitudes."
Thank you so much, NYTimes for printing this piece. And, thank you, Ms (or Mx) Wortham, for creating this very memorable work of art.
6
I'm convinced that human sexual identities should be represented more accurately by a very broad spectrum running between heterosexuality and homosexuality (and possibly other -alities too) rather than a homo/hetero binary. Sure, some humans, on each end of the spectrum, might be totally hetero (or totally homo), unable to envision engaging in a relationship with someone of the same sex (or opposite sex). But I'm guessing most people fall somewhere in between.
So many outwardly "straight" people, upon learning that his/her interlocutor is gay, feel compelled to share their personal sexual ambiguities, in the vein of...
"If I hadn't met my husband in college, I could totally envision having married another woman instead."
"I'm a straight guy, of course, and I love being with women, but there have been a couple of times when I've felt attracted to other men."
"I'm not sure that I'd label myself as gay, or bi, but I think I could be attracted to just about anyone, depending on his or her personality."
The fact that so many people I've met feel open to thinking about these various possibilities -- let alone sharing those observations with a stranger -- seems to me, a sign of progress.
Human beings are complex creatures. Why box ourselves in with labels that aren't necessarily accurate, and constrict us unnecessarily?
So many outwardly "straight" people, upon learning that his/her interlocutor is gay, feel compelled to share their personal sexual ambiguities, in the vein of...
"If I hadn't met my husband in college, I could totally envision having married another woman instead."
"I'm a straight guy, of course, and I love being with women, but there have been a couple of times when I've felt attracted to other men."
"I'm not sure that I'd label myself as gay, or bi, but I think I could be attracted to just about anyone, depending on his or her personality."
The fact that so many people I've met feel open to thinking about these various possibilities -- let alone sharing those observations with a stranger -- seems to me, a sign of progress.
Human beings are complex creatures. Why box ourselves in with labels that aren't necessarily accurate, and constrict us unnecessarily?
3
I "could" have a same sex relationship in the sense that I have nothing against it, but I never do. Why? Because the opposite sex is profoundly compelling and fascinating to me, while my own is, how shall I say, un-mysterious. Now why would it be "progress" if I got together w my own sex? Why do ppl so often import political and moral judgements to the simple mechanism of being attracted to another? Would it be "progress" in a gay world to become bi? Let each person fulfill themselves and stop concerning yourself
7
"Queer theory" indeed! If there's any theory in this, or any intellectual content whatsoever, I can't detect it. Maybe Lewis Carroll could.
26
Words are flexible.
1
It should, far more correctly, read "...SOME of modern society.."
6
Or maybe it's just appropriation.
17
Personal opinion related to this article - the term LGBTQQIP2SAA is so long that it is now ridiculous. Instead, refer to it as the "non-cis-hetero" community? That would include all groups currently in the acronym but save some breath and allow us to add in any others that may come up.
14
Get used to it. It happens to every maligned subculture that gains acceptance. Why should queer culture be any different.
13
"Scientists are still learning about the vast and complex components that interact to create human sexuality." we're going to be waiting a long time if we're relying on science to define our identities.
9
Or even reality, for that matter. Who needs reality, after all.
Trouble is, it comes knocking, sooner or later.
Trouble is, it comes knocking, sooner or later.
1
While we are it, how about the word "effeminate."it is used to suggest a man displaying female qualities. With my limited experience, I know no women who display "effeminate" qualities. They are unique and should be identified as such with a new word, rather than this inaccurate word.
3
When people describe themselves as "queer" today, the first thing I wonder is, "Why are you not calling yourself 'gay'?" Back in the '90s, when gay people started reclaiming the word "queer," it was an expression of frustration with the dominant gay culture at the time, which seemed white, misogynist, conformist, and passive. It established a community for those of us who weren't rich plucked tanned gym queens and were fed up with the status quo that was, quite frankly, killing us (remember AIDS?). It was an in-your-face response to persecution. None of us, however, shied away from calling ourselves "gay" -- we were a different kind of gay. But then academics got hold of the term and now "queer" is something else. I am all for people being who they are and calling themselves whatever they want, but "queer" today is an apolitical term that seems to be more about self-actualization than real change. To me, there is nothing radical today about "queer," nothing challenging. As a counterculture, it has been commodified into a sexless consumer lifestyle devoid of any guts. Most people I know today who call themselves "queer" live as heterosexuals and enjoy all of the privileges that come with it while maintaining a fantasy of specialness. The de-gaying of "queer" gets on my nerves.
63
"Misogynist", indeed. This is still the touchstone, when all is said and done.
2
Nothing about identity politics in a piece about queer's having become fashionable? Yikes.
17
The sooner people stop caring about other peoples' sexuality, the better
68
I believe that "Queer" became a term for a number of sexual practices that were considered not normal at the time; I also believe that it originated in Europe, not in US.
I also have to point out that while some of the practices caught under "Queer" became fuzzy and family-friendly, like bondage, S&M or watching porn, others became a much stronger no-no, like voyeurism, bestiality or anything resembling underage sex.
As LGBTQ becomes more mainstream, it looks like the organizers increasingly become more interested in attracting Netflix floats and less and less inclined to use pride parades to increase awareness about sky-high drug use and health issues in gay community - and ask for extra programs, for example. Time to become mainstream and throw the seedy "Q" under the bus, so to speak.
I also have to point out that while some of the practices caught under "Queer" became fuzzy and family-friendly, like bondage, S&M or watching porn, others became a much stronger no-no, like voyeurism, bestiality or anything resembling underage sex.
As LGBTQ becomes more mainstream, it looks like the organizers increasingly become more interested in attracting Netflix floats and less and less inclined to use pride parades to increase awareness about sky-high drug use and health issues in gay community - and ask for extra programs, for example. Time to become mainstream and throw the seedy "Q" under the bus, so to speak.
2
This line of thought reminds me of similar issues in the disability community. We're all "disabled" at some point wither its breaking a leg or having MS or simply growing old. This is the universal model of disability. The social model of disability looks at it a different way. Impairment is universal. I'm a young healthy woman who broke her ankle last month rock climbing. I have an impairment. But, as a young healthy woman, my impairment doesn't hold me back, determine my chances and choices in life, open my body to abuse, or rob me of my voice and my self-determination. Society "disables" certain people with certain impairments. "Disability" is social oppression. Thus not everyone can be "disabled."
28
yes, like you can be OK as a "handicapped" golfer, but NOT as a "handicapped" student.
We have screwed up too many good words for political purposes. We are all "impaired" too. dis able==NOT able--- so everyone SHOULD be able at some time to fall into that category. I broke my leg so I am disabled from climbing mountains. Disablities can be temporary, not permanent.
We have screwed up too many good words for political purposes. We are all "impaired" too. dis able==NOT able--- so everyone SHOULD be able at some time to fall into that category. I broke my leg so I am disabled from climbing mountains. Disablities can be temporary, not permanent.
1
There's a fascinating evolution going on today - I noticed it while dining with lesbian friends one night. They are in their 70s and devoted to the culture they came up and out in: separatist, Lesbian, women-born-women. Among my online friends who are largely in their 20s and 30s the rainbow of identities is dazzling and inclusive: bi, genderqueer, non-binary, trans men, trans women, demi-sexuals, aces, aromantics - and the code is inclusivity. My own experience is an evolution from what I was raised to be to how I really function today in the world.
10
"Inclusivity" too often equals erasure of women's concerns. Perhaps you should talk to your elder friends about this rather than assuming that "queer" is evolution. The idea that "aces" (people who have no interest in sex) and "gender queers" (people who enjoy wearing edgy haircuts) automatically share the same concerns of lesbian feminists is absurd.
13
I know what you mean. For the first time in all these decades, I identify with those women-born-women Lesbian separatists.
More power to them! They know what a woman is.
More power to them! They know what a woman is.
3
Thank you for exploring this subject. While I use the Q word and am old enough to have had it used against me, I would prefer another word that doesn't imply that I or we are 'different." I wait for that new word to label us that defines us from our own center and not in relationship to other groups' edges.
11
"Someday, maybe we’ll recognize that queer is actually the norm, and the notion of static sexual identities will be seen as austere and reductive." If sexuality, and sexual identity, exist on a spectrum, those of us at the extremes, totally gay and totally straight, should be totally respected as, of course, should all others in between. I'm straight. Get used to it.
14
See the comment on bonobos.
1
Asia, Eurasia, Central Asia, the Middle East, and few other places beg to disagree.
Get used to it.
Get used to it.
1
Why this obsession with "gender"? If this keeps up, we'll need an uncountable number of pronouns, without a clue to what's appropriate when. Another new identity orthodoxy that's spinning out of control.
29
Because this really isn't about gender.
1
"When everyone can be Queer, is anyone?"
And does it matter? Everything is commodified in American life and thus neutralized as political force. I don't in the least care about who you sleep with, what you look like, who you think you are, what bathroom you use. It's all fine with me.
What's not fine is how often personal identity becomes so solipsistic and fetishy, a replacement for engagement in what is today a very dangerous-feeling world. I hope all of you who are committed to queerness are also voting and participating in issues of American life generally, as much as you feel you can.
And does it matter? Everything is commodified in American life and thus neutralized as political force. I don't in the least care about who you sleep with, what you look like, who you think you are, what bathroom you use. It's all fine with me.
What's not fine is how often personal identity becomes so solipsistic and fetishy, a replacement for engagement in what is today a very dangerous-feeling world. I hope all of you who are committed to queerness are also voting and participating in issues of American life generally, as much as you feel you can.
50
Always a worry, having to share one's toy.
12
Religion has long been the source of the codification of the human condition. It is about power and control not about love or self determination. It is a creature that needs to feed on difference. As its shackles are loosened people will be free to see the world in a more inclusive way "Queer" or otherwise.
8
Articles like this one are interesting in a narrow way, and would be more interesting if given a bit of context from the real world. The discussion of queerness is relevant to only a minority of USAmericans (young, urban, educated, middle and upper middle class) but the writer makes it seem as if it is somehow taking place around every dinner table in the country. That's more than a bit myopic. Actually, it's delusional. I suppose it reflects the preoccupation among some in this Age of the Selfie with individual identity as an alternative to the mass consumer society we actually live in... the "self" as a refuge.
47
Sexuality never has been a clean choice between A or B behavior. Our culture that has forced that convention. In truth human sexuality is wildly variable. Culture is finally learning to deal with that reality. We will all be better off because of that change.
11
This article leans heavily on the defining characteristic of the movement: feelings.
1) Young Thug "states that he feels "there's no such thing as gender.," but that is incorrect, however much he may feel it. We do a disservice to each other when we give greater credence to the feelings, which may be valid but untrue, and do not point out the fact. Gender does exist, scientifically; and it does not run on a spectrum (as sexuality might). Gender is determined by DNA and there are 2 options. Facebook is an expert in feelings, not fact; hence its ability to contrive 58 additional options to help people represent their feelings on gender.
When a man feels more like a woman or vice versa, it shows a disordered feeling, not a disordered gender. This is okay and we should provide support and love to help people manage their feelings, like we do in everything else.
We endanger our society when we let feelings replace fact. I feel like the Earth is flat, but it's not, and if society wraps itself around me to say that's okay, that maybe the Earth really is flat, even when we have fact and photos and proof against that, then I'm not encouraged to grow, to see truth (the ultimate aim), to learn, to expand my perspective.
2) "Sex determination is thought to happen in the womb ..." is misleading and tries to introduce wiggle room into what we know to be true. Sex determination DOES happen in the womb. There is scientific proof. It occurs at week 8 of human development in utero.
1) Young Thug "states that he feels "there's no such thing as gender.," but that is incorrect, however much he may feel it. We do a disservice to each other when we give greater credence to the feelings, which may be valid but untrue, and do not point out the fact. Gender does exist, scientifically; and it does not run on a spectrum (as sexuality might). Gender is determined by DNA and there are 2 options. Facebook is an expert in feelings, not fact; hence its ability to contrive 58 additional options to help people represent their feelings on gender.
When a man feels more like a woman or vice versa, it shows a disordered feeling, not a disordered gender. This is okay and we should provide support and love to help people manage their feelings, like we do in everything else.
We endanger our society when we let feelings replace fact. I feel like the Earth is flat, but it's not, and if society wraps itself around me to say that's okay, that maybe the Earth really is flat, even when we have fact and photos and proof against that, then I'm not encouraged to grow, to see truth (the ultimate aim), to learn, to expand my perspective.
2) "Sex determination is thought to happen in the womb ..." is misleading and tries to introduce wiggle room into what we know to be true. Sex determination DOES happen in the womb. There is scientific proof. It occurs at week 8 of human development in utero.
44
"When a man feels more like a woman or vice versa, it shows a disordered feeling, not a disordered gender."
You don't know what you're talking about. Your statement is sadly reminiscent of the arrogantly ignorant condescension that characterized psychiatry for much of the 20th century.
You don't know what you're talking about. Your statement is sadly reminiscent of the arrogantly ignorant condescension that characterized psychiatry for much of the 20th century.
18
DNA informs sex. Sex is not gender. Gender is a construct of society that it needs to destruct. Someday we will get there and hopefully you too.
8
Actually (and you would know this if you took the trouble to learn some human biology), gender IS a spectrum -- that is exactly what it is.
I have a male relative who is chromosomal XXY, because he has Klinefelter syndrome. It's not that uncommon. People with other conditions can have other chromosomal complexities besides this one.
This was not the case for my relative, but other people are sometimes born intersex, with both male and female genitals (or indeterminate genitals). It has happened throughout history. The world is naturally a strange and wonderful place, and it doesn't fall easily into binary categories, even though we prefer it that way and like to tidy people into categories.
Don't erase the existence of people who don't fit into your ideas.
I have a male relative who is chromosomal XXY, because he has Klinefelter syndrome. It's not that uncommon. People with other conditions can have other chromosomal complexities besides this one.
This was not the case for my relative, but other people are sometimes born intersex, with both male and female genitals (or indeterminate genitals). It has happened throughout history. The world is naturally a strange and wonderful place, and it doesn't fall easily into binary categories, even though we prefer it that way and like to tidy people into categories.
Don't erase the existence of people who don't fit into your ideas.
8
Maybe humans are simply much closer to bonobos than we realize?
22
perhaps so,
and i would also hope --- so ...
in other recent news,
however,
the Chimp influences have been rebounding,
much to our collective sadnesses.
the magnetic poles are powerful forces,
requiring sapiens to continue to evolve in
more positive ways.
The major quality of societal acceptance is - - what's seen as normal is no longer exotic, not of particular interest in itself. It's no longer a special group, operating in the shadows, clearly separate from the straight world, with it's own culture and language.
The attempt to further add more "official" categories of "gender/nongender" seems to be a call for focusing on each person's absolutely individual preferences - not any group's - and while most people are now willing to live and let live, they aren't at all interested on being lectured about gender. And every group has at some times pontificated about gender.
I really think marriage is a huge force changing the idea of what "queer"signifies. Once you have a permanent, government sanctioned relationship, and quite possibly kids and a home and cooking and school issues - - - no matter what the precise preferences and habits of the partners - - well, it's not exactly exciting. But it works against the deep prejudice that results in the attacks, as people start seeing humans as one group with myriad ways of being.
The attempt to further add more "official" categories of "gender/nongender" seems to be a call for focusing on each person's absolutely individual preferences - not any group's - and while most people are now willing to live and let live, they aren't at all interested on being lectured about gender. And every group has at some times pontificated about gender.
I really think marriage is a huge force changing the idea of what "queer"signifies. Once you have a permanent, government sanctioned relationship, and quite possibly kids and a home and cooking and school issues - - - no matter what the precise preferences and habits of the partners - - well, it's not exactly exciting. But it works against the deep prejudice that results in the attacks, as people start seeing humans as one group with myriad ways of being.
47
Ambiguity is the mode. Words do not trace reality. Think chiaroscuro...
12
Agreed (After I googled chiaroscuro)
3