When It Comes to a Veil, Brides Can Take It or Leave It

I'm embarrassed to say that I gave no thought whatsoever to the symbolism of the veil when I married in 1989. In part this may be because the meaning of head coverings on women were not so much in the news in those days. My only thought then was about what would or would not look good on me. After pricing veils, I sewed my own, a very simple silk chiffon veil edged in thin ribbon cascading partly down the back from a hair comb.

I doubt very much I would choose a head covering if I were a bride today.

Well, it they haven't been 'veiled' up till the wedding, what's the sense.

I've never even thought about this!

Can't say I remember noticing any veils at any of the weddings I've attended but I guess some brides might have worn them. Don't remember any of them agonizing about it beforehand either.

People can be so funny...fickle, and susceptible to the latest 'trend'. So now it's 'empowering' for women to forego a veil saying it has bad associations with brides who are supposed to be 'virginal', and/or with bridges being considered 'objects'.

If a woman feels this way, then I hope she also plans to not change or hyphenate her name (unless he too is doing the same for her??), not to be 'walked down the aisle and 'transferred over to her new male guardian', doesn't allow phrases such as 'now you (man) may kiss your bride (little woman)' or 'I now pronounce you man (individual person) and wife (you are now his sidekick), and doesn't play the nauseating garter or 'throw the bouquet' games.

When my husband and I married 33 years ago I went with a gown with a train and a cathedral veil - but I said no to the blusher. As I explained at the time, I thought I should see exactly what I was getting myself into!

I'm 31 and getting married in less than two months and I was surprised when my mother asked me if I wanted to wear a veil. It has never been a part of my vision for my wedding and seems a bit dramatic for a courthouse wedding in a short dress! For me the experience is not about being a princess, but making a lifelond committment. The dress is not central, but it's good to look "bridal".

Are we really having this discussion in 2016?
I wore a traditional dress, but no veil. And that was 39 years ago in June.
I kept my name too. Is that the next discussion?

Veils are gross. Any woman who doesn't understand the historical import of veils and who refuses to recognize their negative role in our culture harms her gender with her stupidity. Traditionalists who see no problem with these silly traditions perpetuate sexism. Thanks.

For most people, the origin and meaning of the veil is lost to them, and so, it's just a traditional accessory. But the reality is that the veil is a relative of the burka, a sign that the woman is the property of her father until she is literally handed over to her new owner, her husband. And the only two men who can behold her are her father and her husband... all you other guys keep your eyes off their property.

The irony is that you'll have a bride wear such a symbol of male-dominated modesty at the ceremony, and then she'll hop around gyrating at the reception in a halter-top dress that the world which gave us the veil would regard as being virtually and shamefully naked.

And then there is that double standard of formal wear for women being strapless, sleeveless, backless, and plunging, often accompanied by a mini-skirt; all the while the men are covered from ankle to wrist to neck. Whereas a women was once required to be totally covered, the social norm and pressure is for her to be as uncovered as possible.

Women's lib indeed.

A veil is the difference between a prom dress and a wedding gown. It's sad that so many young women today reject wearing beautiful family lace veils that have been worn by generations of family brides. I was so delighted that my daughter was offered her step-grandmother's veil that had first been worn by her mother in the early 1900's. The dress was too delicate to safely wear, but oh that veil was lovely - Brussels lace.

Can one image either Grace Kelly or Jacqueline Kennedy without those gorgeous and timeless veils with their wedding gowns?

I made my gown, cap and veil. The moment my husband lifted it will always be a moment to cherish. But I and our mothers did not circle him, despite our family tradition.

Now, that took chutzpah. If I saw a bride without a veil, I'd just assume she was married before.

“Every girl wants to be princess for a few hours..."

Not really.

And when will brides stop wearing those hideous strapless dresses which, like skinny jeans, every woman wears and no woman looks good in?

I can't, for the life of me, remember if my wife wore a veil when we got married. That is how important a veil is to me. ... OK, I just asked her. She said she had a really short one. That was over 50 years ago. But what I do remember well: she wore a sari.

Where's everybody been? How is it possible that in 2016 we are still discussing whether women should dress themselves like chattel because It's Tradition? When I was married in 1985, I wore a gorgeous dress in very pale petal pink designed and made by a dressmaker friend. I have always been a feminist and the idea of wearing a veil never crossed my mind. I wore some gardenias in my hair. We wrote our own vows, and a friend who had been worried they would be corny later told me they were beautiful and she was moved to tears. Oh, and no one gave me away, either. The idea of my father giving me away to my husband was, again, was too much about chattel. Our parents were our honored and very much loved guests, but nobody got to treat anybody like a prize cow. Doesn't anyone think about what the rituals mean?

The symbol of 'male oppression" is the ring.

Thinking back over the years of marriage, I can't remember if my late wife wore a veil or not. I just remember fifty great years.

I don't think the decision is that fraught. First world problems.

I wore my mother's veil. I was very excited to wear it and my mother was happy that her wedding attire was being used a second time. However, I did not wear the matching headpiece, as my mother was married in the 80s and it was a bit... um... outdated.

If its not covering the face, then it doesn't meet any man's definition of a veil. Most of what this article showed were capes.

My eldest DD got married in 2015 with her grandmother's wedding dress and veil from 1953. The rabbi explained to us that the lifting of the veil stems from the Torah, when Jacob was tricked into first marrying Leah, The veil is lifted to ensure the groom is marrying the bride he truly chose,

When I was married, I wore a wedding dress that came down just to my ankles. I wanted to be comfortable after the ceremony. I wanted to be able to walk around, dance, etc. without carrying a long train behind me.

I felt that the dress would appear to be too plain during the ceremony, so I opted for a long, elaborate veil that trailed behind me as I walked down the aisle. Then when the ceremony was over, I easily removed the veil and could party and mingle with my guests. It was a good decision for me.

The symbolism of the veil --- the hiding and then the presenting of the bride and her virginity to her husband ("who give the bride?, the father says "I do"), and the difference between man and wife that allows for their mysterious union, still strikes a deep chord of meaning, often unconsciously, in many. That is why the veil is still popular, even among some best friend, buddy couples with their unisex ideals for whom bridal virginity is outdated sexist concept. A Kombaya day of celebration, reading our own vows, wedding for two "spouses" just does not tap into that primal feeling that a traditional weeding does. A veil is a little piece of that.

Good grief, so serious on what is in the US, thankfully, primarily a fashion choice. What the heck ... it's your wedding day. Not a lot of chances to wear a veil otherwise ... so if one wants to, good grief, do so and enjoy.
Bridal shops take immoral mark-ups on these however; there are less expensive ways to get one made, etc. Think on that, too.

I wore an antique embroidered silk tulle veil (found it on ebay) that came down to my bra-line. This article leaves out the coolest thing about a veil - the experience of looking through it! The walk down the aisle is floaty, misty, and magical. And I kept my veil down until we stood to exchange marriage vows, when I lifted it myself (with the help of my maid-of-honor to fold it back attractively).