The Upside to Technology? It’s Personal

Thanks for this amazing article, Nick. I am crazy about technology but my social life is awesome. I think it's all about the priorities; It's totally up to us about how we want technology to shape our life.

i share the respect shown in this column and in the comments for the marvels of technology. i often think of the sheer number of steps and bouts of worry that technology alleviates: did the kids have lunch? did my friend find a new apartment? does my boss know that i'm on my way to work and won't be too late? technology can resolve all of these quandaries with a few clicks. which is great for the nerve endings.

but what about snooping? technology connects us, all right, but it also leaves us utterly vulnerable to those to whom we have no desire, and have made no request, to be connected. it's done without our knowledge or consent. it's blindingly easy, can be done on a massive scale, or, should the snooper so choose, pinpoint one of us either for a brief moment or over a stretch of time -- for unknowable reasons. technology frees us, but it also ensnares us. much is gained but something vital -- anonymity, privacy -- may also be lost. that sobering thought wears on the nerves at a subtler, less conscious, level.

I too still follow David. I just went back and saw that his last tweet (to you), was sent to at 2:51pm. I don't know what time he died, but I would think it be comforting to you, that yours was his last post in the digital age.

Getting to the core of this issue, the discussion here is operating on the wrong level. Technology is everything from a stone ax to VR. And none of it is bad or good by itself. How we engage with what we create - the initial purpose, the rules going in, how we handle its impact on society - is where we should *always* focus our concerns. A stone ax is a tool and weapon. VR glasses can be a tool or a weapon. Facebook is a tool and weapon. Seems to be a common thread developing here...

The further tech-enabled future has nothing to do with the tech, but everything to do with our relationship with it. Wouldn't hurt to pull back sometimes and do more planning (AI guys!).

Great column. I used my phone to take digital photos of my father's old pictures from WW2 when he served in Burma. Those pictures are now with me all the time. I look at them frequently and show them to friends. My father is long gone, but the photos are a reminder of all the questions I wished I would have asked him when he was alive: How did he earn his two bronze stars? How long was he in Burma? What happened to him during the war to make him the person I feared? Technology is personal and keeps us curious.

Thank you for a wonderful farewell piece, and. above all, for the reminder about David Carr. I still follow him on Twitter, too, as I can't bring myself to change that. Or to delete contacts or emails of deceased friends. I often find myself seeing only the dark side of new technologies and forgetting all the good they can potentially do. Thank you, and good luck in your future endeavors.

Nick, it's not technology, but it is the personal, that is the culprit behind all the "downsides". Virtually all the problems you point to here have to do with too many people--too many persons, if you will--and not too many iPhones. Even if we had none of the digital tech we enjoy today, if we were, say, still stuck in 1965, with 7 billion people things would be a lot worse. And remember, in 1965 there were barely 5 billion homo sapiens inhabiting this traumatized planet.

No, digital technology has made things tolerable enough for perhaps 1-2 billion of us to still have reasonably dignified, if not enjoyable, lives. So, do continue to enjoy David's twitter page, Snapchat, and your mother on your iPhone.

Nick, thanks for all the thoughtful columns.
But! As I begin to nudge past middle age, I find myself less and less interested in sitting in front of LCD screens, and ever more interested in walking the sidewalks, parks and trails of my neighborhood. When I’m outside on a nice day, I occasionally feel moments of transcendence and closeness to the natural world and to its “Unmoved Mover.” I can honestly say this has never happened at my computer; there, I just feel clutter. The rich relationships we can have in the full presence of other people and our universe are only dimly imitated by the simulacra of social media, and “virtual” reality.

good luck with your future - after 14 years.

a zen perspective - everything is equally good and bad

so - the mobile phones we fear turn others into walking zombies who are rude to strangers and walk into the paths of speeding cars and make young people unable to have a conversation - also enable instant communication with loved ones around the world, and make this the first generation to be able to do so on a 24x7 basis - even at 3am from their pillow - it also enables my partner to tell me 'there is an earthquake happening overseas now' - and predicts flu outbreaks and even catches terrorists.

So - welcome to the new world - same as the old world - just using our prehensile thumbs instead of pens.

Thanks, Nick, for another great article. I was touched by your comments about your mother and how you are saving those personal bits from her. A funny for you: My elderly mom is getting new vitality, first from her Kindle, then her iPad and now her iPhone. She loves exploring and learning the tech. She also can't get enough of emojis and actively texts with her grandkids. My dad, on the other hand, is grumpy about tech, stays backwards on it and won't let my mom (his wife for 56 years now!) get on Facebook. We think he is worried about her reconnecting with her high school flames. it makes for good ribbing at family dinners. Vanity Fair is lucky to have you. Enjoy!

You forgot to mention an old technology that is killing the earth: energy production using fossil fuels. When there is an app to prevent people from birthing more than one child, let me know.

Hmm . . . . let’s see. On the one side digital technology has encouraged or enabled narcissism, terrorism, job losses, invasion of privacy, bullying and hate-mongering, and increased corporate control, performance pressure and turnaround expectations on those who can get jobs. The upside is that we might have more parks to play in (when?) and can feel a little less alone in the world. Well, the title of the article says it all. The upside to technology is that I can make it all about me, me, me. No wonder we have so many problems.

I love this article and think this is the way forward. Yes there are issues with tech, like there has always been, but we are learning. I have teenage kids who love tech, but they are more like IM than not. We will be talking about this at Zocalo Public Square in LA. http://www.zocalopublicsquare.org/event/?postId=71670

Yes, our modern technology has made our lives much more interesting, and rich (for better and worse, depending on one's prior readiness in education and social skills, to support the onslaught of information). Although we have a long way to go, the potential can be imagined without much effort. And yet, we have been caught with our pants down, given the explosion of information out there, not necessarily translated in knowledge, and even less in understanding, let alone the wisdom to know wheat from chaff. Personally, as age shows its ugly face of memory lapses, having access to immediate 'answers' in the Internet is a godsend (and I am an agnostic!). What one would like to see is the harnessing of those that spread lies and innuendos, even violent messages to commit crimes or spread hate, or, heavens forbid, terrorist cells to incite following jihadist's sick creed of radical Islam to kill innocents in the name of an all-loving god. In that respect, we ought to find ways to take away the anonymity of those meant to harm us, while recognizing privacy's primacy. Liberty is all well and dandy, license to destroy us should not. Too bad our reason has been outpaced by tribal emotions ready to pound on 'the other' with a highly technological weaponry we can't control. And cyber-attacks, on the rise, may be a scourge for an otherwise marvelous source to extend our human frailties in memory and resolve.

People forget that social networks are very much opt-in (internet addictions notwithstanding).

I'm a millennial without a Facebook profile and an Instagram account I barely use, except as a means to see what my global friends are up to. Surprise surprise, my social life is fine, and I still appreciate being able to use the technology to catch up with friends from home (or wherever) every once in a while.

Many young people think the same way. This might shock the more curmudgeonly NYTers, who think of us as a homogeneous mass of iPhone zombies eternally awaiting the next Kim Kardashian post.

Totally agree. Finding my father's iphone totally helped me mourn his death - and I wrote about it too: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jordan-freeman/how-finding-my-fathers-ip_b...

Damn! The good ones always leave, like a corollary of Gresham's law. Loved Nick Bilton's columns, first in the Monday Business section and then when they moved to ThursdayStyles, a section for which I otherwise had little use. Good luck in all future endeavors; hope to see your byline somewhere very soon. I'm still not fully recovered from Clyde Haberman's departure from the NYT, now this.

Good luck with your next chapter, Nick. We'll miss your voice here!

Each generation has had to grapple, adapt and choose which technologies enhance or detract from their relationships, behavior and ways of interacting with the world around them. Your column reminded me on the scene in Downton Abbey when the Dowager Countess (played brilliantly by Maggie Smith) heard a telephone ringing. With no servant in the vicinity, she reached to answer it awkwardly. Unimpressed, she quickly ended the exchange and decried, "and they call that communication. It's an abomination." Now most people adore their smartphones...some tech-driven adjustments and adaptions are easier than others.

Plenty of highly technically skilled people still do not participate in Facebook or Twitter. They may be open-source developers or Unix sysadmins, but they have little interest in social chitchat.

There are many parts of the internet that cater to these sorts of interests.

I hope the upside is worth it in the long run, because social and digital media in general have made me far more aware of how much real nastiness is out there. I suppose the truth will set us free -- but at a high cost.

Best of luck in your next endeavor, and thank you for the reminder of David Carr.

Your optimism and romantic nature will serve you well in your future writing endeavors, Nick. Good luck to you, although you won't need as much as some of us do. As for technology, it has been over-hyped by nearly everyone who creates it, sells it, uses it, and writes about it. It will never, on its own, solve social problems, which always require social solutions. It is, in essence, a giant new set of convoluted communications tools. By definition, communication is always neutral: good people use it for good purposes, and bad people use it for evil ones. Technology appears to make the world spin faster, but this also will lead to us to become dizzy as a result. Its net effects on life and living are a wash.

That's a lovely thought and one I wish existed back in 1994 when my Mom died.
But it didn't.
But others did. And I cherish the pics and moments I can still see online.
Doesn't make them less gone.
Just reminds us of how wonderful they were in our lives.
cheers
irina

Social media has good and bad qualities. Some say it's a tool which must be used properly. But you wouldn't use a screwdriver to change a lightbulb, and you can't use technology to create relationship and compassion, which require real world, embodied presence. All the photos stored in a cloud, all the hours spent scrolling Facebook, won't add up to one meal shared with my friend, now dying from cancer.

Like the reflective nature of this, but in reality, it seems clear that the pain caused by social media (the well-documented loneliness, anomie, disengagement), along with the lost social skills, and the opportunity costs of children and adults spending hours on social media rather than doing many other more valuable things, far outweigh the positives. The reason why it won't change is because people are weak, and social media appeals to our worst instincts (vanity, social recognition, crowd behavior, judgments, FOMO), and people can't give that up.

Excellent article! Techie optimists rock!

Thanks for the articles and information.

Hi there. Good luck to you on the next chapter of your life. This article was a pleasant read.

For sure technology is a double-edged sword, cutting for benefit and harm. While it's comforting, as Nick Bilton, notes in his last paragraph that "there will be a lot more instances when it [the products of technology] are used for good," making "us feel a little more connected, a little less alone," I'm not convinced. Perhaps Sherry Turkle, in her next to last book, "Alone Together," might concur.

For me, claiming that technology and us, on balance, rise up together. that technical progress equals human progress, resembles a perpetual motion machine in which the ups always exceed the downs. While it may be great for selling us the next new new doing more and more for us, while conveniently sweeping aside what doing it all for us is also doing to us, perpetual motion machines don't work. Never have and never will.

I remember all those who saved the final voice mail messages from their loved ones who died in the Sept. 11 attacks. An old technology now, but a small, important bridge to another time for many.