My thick, dark wavy hair started to go grey in my late teens, and in earnest in my mid thirties. I have never colored it. I had few role models, but looked at Dan Rather and George Clooney and decided that if men could look handsome and distinguished with their grey hair, women could be beautiful and distinguished! I have enjoyed my "fifty shades of grey" - it has been interesting to watch it gradually go from black to white, and it is fun to look at pictures of all the different stages. I have given myself the last 25 years to gradually adjust, and I'm glad I did! I spend the time and money I save on hair coloring on quality skin care products and clothes in colors that make me look healthy and vibrant. Friends who color their hair seem to struggle to find the right shade, and sometimes their hair and their faces no longer seem to match. Also, I think it is harder for them to find clothing colors that flatter. To each their own - but I am grateful that I allowed Mother Nature to be my colorist and I tried to work with her rather than fight her too hard.
1
I love my silver mane. I also love my wrinkles, my rolls, and my age. It is time to reclaim our fabulous, powerful bodies as they are.
2
I would compare the coloring of grey hair to bleaching or whitening one's teeth. With age, teeth become discolored and unattractive. But I do understand if someone cannot afford to have them whitened or thinks there's something attractive about naturally looking teeth. ;-)
1
One of the problems is that we are not exposed to the natural aging of women's hair. You rarely see women on television with gray hair. You see women in their 70's and 80's who go blonde rather than gray. We don't see it in magazines because when one mag dared show it in the 1950's or 60's, they were cut out of advertising for months by hair coloring companies and barely survived that. If we saw women grey naturally at the younger ages that they do and if they had stylish cuts, it would look normal...and fabulous! The shame is that women are trying to look young and we are not valued for our wisdom. We are there to look sexually appealing and that's it. Forget about your knowledge and opinions!
5
I was just thinking about that today. "Holy s---," I said to myself.
I'm 62 and I know how to do all this stuff that someone 32 doesn't.
Not even close. I'm a fountain of wisdom and efficiency and information at my fingertips."
Yup, who cares, except my job.
I'm 62 and I know how to do all this stuff that someone 32 doesn't.
Not even close. I'm a fountain of wisdom and efficiency and information at my fingertips."
Yup, who cares, except my job.
1
Yeah, so? Anything new? Gray hair is cool, chic, daring and it's you whether you like it or not - brought to you by Mother Nature NOT L'Oreal if you let it. Stop putting this awfully unnatural looking dark colors on your roots. It shows! It does NOT make you look one year younger either! Dying your gray hair is not about beauty it's about age, therefore fear. Fear not only felt by the women who are or have turned gray and are trying to cover it up, but for the onlookers as well. This is about standing up for yourself, about being authentic, about being true to your colors - that's all. The best thing is always to turn something inevitable into a trend. We silverellas have turned our silver locks into a natural wonder and a trend. Bravo. Stop allowing men or society or your family (kids are notoriously cruel when it comes to judgement of gray hair) to dictate a beauty ideal that actually isn't beautiful, just exhausting (and expensive). Let it go, let it grow, back to the (original) roots - that's the way to shine. And by the way - never have gotten more compliments on my hair than since I'm silvery gray - and with long hair!
2
A good hair dye job and cut costs about the equivalent of about two shares of Apple in this neck of the woods, and that is not taking time into account. There's something to be said for all sorts of choices, and what betrays age, and wisdom, inside and out. This applies to the observer and the observed.
1
I stopped coloring my hair shortly after I stopped working (mid 60s). I'm now in my late 60s. It was not a political statement. People who dye their hair should not be offended. I was just tired of worrying about hair dye (getting it in my eyes, irritating my scalp, etc.). I'm sure if I had to find a job I'd reluctantly go back to hair dye (as many commenters have noted).
My hairdresser told me about shampoos that have a tiny amount of purple pigment--that's a major reason why some women have amazing white hair and others have yellow streaks. Apparently, the purple tricks the eye into seeing white. It certainly worked for me and the shampoo does not turn your hair purple (unless you leave it on too long).
I've gotten used to looking older than many of the women I know. Some of my family thinks I've lost my mind. I've been complimented profusely by young business or service people for being able to learn various technologies or follow simple instructions. Unlike my (older) husband who has very little gray, I'm always offered a seat on a crowded bus or train. Sometimes people feel they must speak to me slowly and loudly.
It's not altogether fun looking older, but I figure it's more important to spend my energy on important stuff--trying to stay fit and mobile.
My hairdresser told me about shampoos that have a tiny amount of purple pigment--that's a major reason why some women have amazing white hair and others have yellow streaks. Apparently, the purple tricks the eye into seeing white. It certainly worked for me and the shampoo does not turn your hair purple (unless you leave it on too long).
I've gotten used to looking older than many of the women I know. Some of my family thinks I've lost my mind. I've been complimented profusely by young business or service people for being able to learn various technologies or follow simple instructions. Unlike my (older) husband who has very little gray, I'm always offered a seat on a crowded bus or train. Sometimes people feel they must speak to me slowly and loudly.
It's not altogether fun looking older, but I figure it's more important to spend my energy on important stuff--trying to stay fit and mobile.
3
When I was 21, I found my first white hairs in my curly-frizzy black-brown tresses. My ex-husband still (laughingly, along with me) remembers me running around the house we shared with our roommates yelling "How can I be going grey? I still have zits!"
It's over 40 years later and except for dying it black-brown twice in my late 30's after my divorce (my gay friends said I would need to do so to attract straight men), I've left it alone, mostly because I couldn't see how it was a healthy habit and because I anted to see what it would look like. First it was pepper and salt; then salt and pepper, and finally, mostly salt with a good helping of pepper. And it's not grey--it's actually platinum (as opposed to silver or white).
I don't wear makeup (never did) but I have no wrinkles so I've been told by both men and women that I look much younger than I am--as if I was someone who went prematurely white and accepted it--and great. Women have told me that if their natural hair color looked as good as mine did they wouldn't dye it either.
And the social life? I only date Jewish men born in the 1950's which makes them about my age or younger. A few wouldn't date me because of my hair color, but those guys ended up being pretty superficial so it wasn't a waste. My long term relationships are accepting of my hair color (knowing that it wasn't going to change); one admitted he had never dated a woman over 40 with natural colored hair. I asked him if he was living on the wild side now.
It's over 40 years later and except for dying it black-brown twice in my late 30's after my divorce (my gay friends said I would need to do so to attract straight men), I've left it alone, mostly because I couldn't see how it was a healthy habit and because I anted to see what it would look like. First it was pepper and salt; then salt and pepper, and finally, mostly salt with a good helping of pepper. And it's not grey--it's actually platinum (as opposed to silver or white).
I don't wear makeup (never did) but I have no wrinkles so I've been told by both men and women that I look much younger than I am--as if I was someone who went prematurely white and accepted it--and great. Women have told me that if their natural hair color looked as good as mine did they wouldn't dye it either.
And the social life? I only date Jewish men born in the 1950's which makes them about my age or younger. A few wouldn't date me because of my hair color, but those guys ended up being pretty superficial so it wasn't a waste. My long term relationships are accepting of my hair color (knowing that it wasn't going to change); one admitted he had never dated a woman over 40 with natural colored hair. I asked him if he was living on the wild side now.
1
I always thought it was wonderful when young boy came and joined his grandparents in the main service when the children's services were over. He was so cute and looked just like his grandma, with his full head of brown curls and her silvery gray ones. I was horrified at my mistake months later when I discovered that was his mother, not grandma. I was in my 30's and had not started to go gray, but I decided then and there I was going to color my hair. Like it or not, in this society gray means grandma, no matter how beautiful the silver.
1
I dyed my hair for three years, between the ages of 32 and 35. I hated every minute of it. I hated the smell; I hated pouring harmful chemicals down the drain; I hated feeling like a fraud. Finally, I stopped, and I have never felt better about myself. At 39, I don't have silver hair; I have curly black hair with a lot of white hairs mixed in. Those who have enslaved themselves to hair dye would find me ugly or weird; I find myself beautiful and, more importantly, authentic. Do those (mostly women but also some men) who dye their hair not realize that anyone with a keen eye can tell instantly that their hair is dyed? Do they honestly think they look any younger than their age? To me, a person who dyes his/her hair looks pathetic. When I meet a woman who doesn't dye her hair, I know I'm dealing with someone who is authentic, confident, and at home in her skin.
The same thing, by the way, goes for men who shave their head to avoid revealing their male-pattern baldness. I have deep respect for a man who doesn't feel the need to hide his natural baldness, be it with a combover, with a toupee, or with a razor blade.
The same thing, by the way, goes for men who shave their head to avoid revealing their male-pattern baldness. I have deep respect for a man who doesn't feel the need to hide his natural baldness, be it with a combover, with a toupee, or with a razor blade.
Grey hair, be it women's or men's, is beautiful. I earned every one of mine. And guys, please don't try to dye it away. It doesn't fool anybody.
Good for her, but not for me. I just don't see myself with that look, yet. I like the chestnut color that's underneath my gray. It really goes better with my skin tone. The reality of job discrimination is there, too, but I don't look at it as a burden. I'd probably do this even if I were financially independent. Now, if you want to have a conversation on the tyranny of fashionable shoes, I'm in. I am perfectly comfortable with my moderate or low heel, with built in support. Never liked high heels and never will.
I stopped coloring my hair at 47, I'm 50 now. I had already cut it very short and when my temporary color would start to fade and grow out I would get complements on it. The short length made it an easy transition - the last of the color grew out completely in less than 3 months. I get complements on it all the time and many are from men. The short cut and natural color have simplified my life tremendously. My only regret is all the time I wasted caring for long, colored hair. I still wear simple makeup and can be out the door in less than 30 minutes with my best look.
I'm 27, and I'm actually looking forward to being a suave salt-and-pepper butch someday. I've always loved that color.
That is, unless I take advantage of not having to bleach my dark hair to get bright blue highlights!
That is, unless I take advantage of not having to bleach my dark hair to get bright blue highlights!
To each her/his own I like my silver hair, but I don't look like Emmy Lou Harris. And I dyed my hair for as long as it looked good, in my own opinion, and stopped when it didn't work - too much trouble for an effect that lasted only 2 weeks.
Fashioning your hair into something that makes you feel more attractive and thus confident, and/or expresses some personal attitude, seems to be pretty well established in humans. It also has used to designate you "tribal" identity, for rebellion, to seduce and, used by others to humiliate women who have strayed. And it is often subject to major changes during times of personal emotional upheaval - a physical sign of leaving the past behind.( How may women have chopped their hair off - by themselves after a breakup?)
Many men as well as women now color their hair to be seen as younger, thus more marketable, in a tough job market.
A lot of boomer women are content with going grey; with so many of us that anything that the cohort does becomes a trend. I credit younger folks - millennials maybe - with the idea of color as a creative touch - any color - not just as rebellion but because it's fun. It's fashion, it's showing a flash of personality ( altho' having seen the comments today on "normcore' styles for Gen Z, perhaps untouched hair is the new-new trend).
Fashioning your hair into something that makes you feel more attractive and thus confident, and/or expresses some personal attitude, seems to be pretty well established in humans. It also has used to designate you "tribal" identity, for rebellion, to seduce and, used by others to humiliate women who have strayed. And it is often subject to major changes during times of personal emotional upheaval - a physical sign of leaving the past behind.( How may women have chopped their hair off - by themselves after a breakup?)
Many men as well as women now color their hair to be seen as younger, thus more marketable, in a tough job market.
A lot of boomer women are content with going grey; with so many of us that anything that the cohort does becomes a trend. I credit younger folks - millennials maybe - with the idea of color as a creative touch - any color - not just as rebellion but because it's fun. It's fashion, it's showing a flash of personality ( altho' having seen the comments today on "normcore' styles for Gen Z, perhaps untouched hair is the new-new trend).
1
For me a good hair cut is so much more important than the color of the hair. A hair cut should be complementing my face and the form of my head and not the other way around. But I find it hard in this country to find a hair stylist who is really good in cutting.
4
I woke up on my tenth birthday with a streak of silver, nearly an inch wide, down the center of my hair. (I recognize that may sound absurd and that it seems it must have been present the day before--and many days before that--but I can only say that it was never seen by me or others until that birthday morning). Throughout the remainder of my "childhood" and early adulthood, this streak was noticed and commented upon by countless people. I never thought to do anything about it--it just was. An oddity among the many oddities that made me "me". I had an older cousin who told me to never refer to my hair as grey--that it was, in fact, silver and my good luck. That it had a protective quality. He made it sound a talisman of sorts--and the thought has always stuck with me. In moments when I found myself inexplicably down about my hair (or some other aspect of my appearance--or life!), I'd catch a glimpse of my "good luck" and feel a bit better. I'm much older now. The streak doesn't stand out anymore (because it's "age-appropriate" perhaps? Sometimes I find that adjective annoying...). It now translates--in the eyes of others--as "aged" (you know, pronounced with 2 syllables). It has even changed color/texture and has narrowed. It isn't the same. Has my luck run out? I prefer to think that, despite the tragedies I have survived, this talismanic silver streak--my good fortune--shielded me from so much more. Perhaps, its work is done. And I miss it. Who would have thought?
3
Funny, I don't see any men commenting here on their actual fear of personal and employment discrimination if they dare let their hair go gray.
8
Just as true for men. As a man over 50 laid off during the great recession, I shaved off my mustache when it became significantly grayer than the hair on the top of my head; similarly I returned to my third grade crew cut because the gray is less noticeable.
Next step in a few years, if/when male pattern baldness becomes apparent may be head shaving. If interviewer and hiring managers are going to be prejudicial, make then work at it.
Next step in a few years, if/when male pattern baldness becomes apparent may be head shaving. If interviewer and hiring managers are going to be prejudicial, make then work at it.
I always thought that women's silver hair looked elegant, even back in the days that I had a full head of dark hair.
2
When my husband first asked me to dye my hair, I was hurt, and retaliated by telling him when his hair grew back on his head, I'd color mine. That was pretty hurtful, too. Now I try and see my grey hair as a token of my greater wisdom and compassion, and take the high road. If he mentions my hair, I just look at his bald spot, and smile like a buddha should.
4
Someone here said that all women over 60 have grey hair. It's not true. My grandmother in her 90's still had most of her black hair. There were some individual hairs that were white but not streaks. Still, It did not make her look 80!
2
I stopped coloring my shortish, dyed brown hair 18 months ago at age 57. Now it has grown out past my shoulders and silver-gray. I think i look older than my same aged friends who color their hair. But total strangers stop me in the street (including young men) and tell me they love my hair. This has never happened to me before despite years of what I thought was beautiful brown hair. I have never has so many compliments. I am lucky not to be looking for a job now, but people have told me i need to color it should i get into the job market again. Such a sad comment on our culture.
2
It's not about the color, really.
It's about acceptance.
The women in this video are
gorgeous.
It's about acceptance.
The women in this video are
gorgeous.
2
The Op-Doc video mentions the "skunk-stripe" growing out phase. When I went through that, I had several young hipsters (who happened to be standing next to me in the line for coffee or whatever) and my daughter's teen friends tell me how cool my hair was. Now that it's grown all the way out, I'm missing the compliments!
Thinking about dying it and growing out again just to look cool.
Just kidding. Or not.
Thinking about dying it and growing out again just to look cool.
Just kidding. Or not.
Hipsters think anything grotesque is cool.
I dyed for years then went gray about 8 yrs ago (it is still brunette underneath). The key was not the color but the texture. It was coarse and wiry. I would see all these women with gorgeous gray hair and finally figured out that their hair was beautiful because it was sleek and smooth. Off I went for a keratin treatment. Now I have gorgeous gray hair and I love it. It looks great.
My only regret? That at my age, streaks of blue or purple would look ridiculous.
So now we can have the corollary debate - to keratin or not to keratin.
My only regret? That at my age, streaks of blue or purple would look ridiculous.
So now we can have the corollary debate - to keratin or not to keratin.
2
Uh Uh! go ahead and try the blue. If you love it who cares what anybody else thinks? !
1
I never intended to color my hair. But I found that people stopped asking me to dance! So now I color it. I love silver hair, but I'd rather dance.
9
Do those you dance with ever happen to have silver hair? If I were you, I would refuse to dance with anyone who doesn't dye their hair. It would only be fair.
Dump the dye and wear a wig when you go to dance. Think of it as an accessory, like dancing shoes.
Oh, this is funny - or punctuation. I read this: people stopped - asking me to dance. And I wondered, why would people ask her to dance. Because she is gray? That's cute. It means that gray-haired women are great dancers. Well, actually, I am!!! My advice: don't go to places where people are hung up hair-color! Dancing is dancing - you're good or your not!
I used to have long, very straight and very shiny black hair - and everywhere I went I got compliments about my hair. The hair, the hair, the hair.
I couldn't stand it and asked my hair dresser to cut it short but he refused(!)
I moved to Paris at some point and since then I have had my hair cut short, and permed (not great), and dyed in every color possible. I feel liberated.
I am not my hair. Thank you very much.
I couldn't stand it and asked my hair dresser to cut it short but he refused(!)
I moved to Paris at some point and since then I have had my hair cut short, and permed (not great), and dyed in every color possible. I feel liberated.
I am not my hair. Thank you very much.
15
Yes, you are very very much your hair - it seems extraordinarily important to you. Frankly, you sound obsessed. Maybe a hobby or something will help?
As my ex boyfriend says, "it's all about face and hair."
I am 65, and only now am I getting a few gray hairs. However, I dye it periodically, both to cover those few gray hairs, and because the natural brown has gotten kind of blah. Plan to keep dyeing it, although I may lighten it a bit when it actually is gray, so it won't look harsh. I don't lie about my age or pretend to be something I'm not, but I have to say that I don't see ANYTHING attractive about gray hair...unless looking older is your goal, and it's definitely not mine!
7
I got my first grey hair when I was 14. My family apparently goes prematurely grey. I was blessed with dark brown hair with reddish highlights. It was strawberry blonde when I was a child.
In my mid twenties, I encountered a former lover at a local bank, who exclaimed loudly, for all to hear, " Man you've gotten a lot of grey in your hair!" I responded, "Man, you sure have gotten bald!", in response. That shut him up pretty quick. Ha!
I have continued to dye my hair for decades fearing that if I look old in this youth obsessed culture, I will lose my competitive edge. My hairdresser, most likely fearing loss of income, continues to encourage me to color. I am now blonde with darker highlights and it does look good. However, when the roots come in they are just a striking, beautiful silver, with tons of highlights in them. It shines like precious metal. At some point, perhaps in the not so distant future, I will give over and go natural, and just deal with the cultural fallout.
In my mid twenties, I encountered a former lover at a local bank, who exclaimed loudly, for all to hear, " Man you've gotten a lot of grey in your hair!" I responded, "Man, you sure have gotten bald!", in response. That shut him up pretty quick. Ha!
I have continued to dye my hair for decades fearing that if I look old in this youth obsessed culture, I will lose my competitive edge. My hairdresser, most likely fearing loss of income, continues to encourage me to color. I am now blonde with darker highlights and it does look good. However, when the roots come in they are just a striking, beautiful silver, with tons of highlights in them. It shines like precious metal. At some point, perhaps in the not so distant future, I will give over and go natural, and just deal with the cultural fallout.
4
"I hope this Op-Doc reminds us that real beauty is an inside job." Excuse me? I'd prefer to be reminded that gray hair is gorgeous.
9
I'm a feminist who vowed never to color my hair. After being laid off the same day I received my breast cancer diagnosis, going through over a year of cancer therapy while being unemployed(my employer tossed me to the curb as fast as they could once they learned my health condition; they were shutting one location which let them to do that legally).
So-I looked for another position at age 54 after a long employment gap for months. I have considerable accomplishments on my resume but could see as soon as I showed up for the interview, I was a lot older than they expected.
It was tough. I dyed my hair on Saturday and had a job offer from the site I interviewed with the next Monday on the way home from the interview.
I realize it's not that cut and dried but also understand that my age/appearance has has played a big part in employment opportunities, especially as I get older.
So-I looked for another position at age 54 after a long employment gap for months. I have considerable accomplishments on my resume but could see as soon as I showed up for the interview, I was a lot older than they expected.
It was tough. I dyed my hair on Saturday and had a job offer from the site I interviewed with the next Monday on the way home from the interview.
I realize it's not that cut and dried but also understand that my age/appearance has has played a big part in employment opportunities, especially as I get older.
19
At 90 my body is breaking down day by day--but I'm liberated by a full head of silver hair! My reward for growing old!
9
Plan on never dyeing my hair. It's not that I'm not vain. I am sensitive to everything, so hair dye is out. Also, I think grey/white hair would help soften the appearance of wrinkles. Oh well, about the in between stage of salt and pepper...I plan on being my best friend by then and not constantly criticizing my appearance, actions, thoughts, etc.
3
I am prematurely gray, or at least it was premature. Now I'm old enough it's just normal. I tried dyeing my hair once, but I had a terrible reaction to the hair dye and have never done it again. I was going through a difficult divorce at the time and I envisioned myself covering my gray and feeling more powerful in the courtroom. I was surprised after coloring my hair that I felt just the opposite. I didn't feel like myself.
It didn't help that a woman who was sort of a friend, but who I felt judged by complimented my dyed hair so effusively that I knew it meant she had seriously judged my previous gray streaks. That plus the health problems after dyeing and I decided to let it go back to normal. The transition was terrible. I was attending the old money Episcopal cathedral in town and it really did take bravery (or denial) to walk down that aisle with half gray half dyed hair while the dye was growing out.
After it grew out, I got a lot of compliments on the college campus where I worked (from young people). But from my relatives and people my age: almost nothing but judgment. After several phone calls where my aunt left-handedly insulted my hair by saying my uncle was "concerned", she finally accepted it, saying "Well, Emmylou Harris has gray hair and she looks great." Thank God for Emmylou Harris! And thank you to all the other women who are keeping their gray. Self-confidence is attractive - and contagious!
It didn't help that a woman who was sort of a friend, but who I felt judged by complimented my dyed hair so effusively that I knew it meant she had seriously judged my previous gray streaks. That plus the health problems after dyeing and I decided to let it go back to normal. The transition was terrible. I was attending the old money Episcopal cathedral in town and it really did take bravery (or denial) to walk down that aisle with half gray half dyed hair while the dye was growing out.
After it grew out, I got a lot of compliments on the college campus where I worked (from young people). But from my relatives and people my age: almost nothing but judgment. After several phone calls where my aunt left-handedly insulted my hair by saying my uncle was "concerned", she finally accepted it, saying "Well, Emmylou Harris has gray hair and she looks great." Thank God for Emmylou Harris! And thank you to all the other women who are keeping their gray. Self-confidence is attractive - and contagious!
5
If beauty is "an inside job", a shopworn cliche, then anybody can potentially be beautiful, whether they wear so-called natural-colored hair, or go all out with coloring and makeup. Something Dolly Parton once said in an interview stuck with me. This is a rough paraphrase, but the gist of it was "I may look fake, but my heart is real." True, by which she meant she is an honest person underneath all the fixings.
I don't begrudge women their vanities, and have realized I like seeing women fixed up to the hilt. It's all a show, so how good a show can you put on?
What has surprised me most as an older man is how many older men I know color their hair, often quite badly, too, even some I never would have suspected of being the least bit vain.
2
I really like the images of the women on the video. It's reminiscent of the Rolling Stones album.
"Some girls give me money
Some girls buy me clothes
Some girls give me jewelry
That I never thought I'd own"
"Some girls give me money
Some girls buy me clothes
Some girls give me jewelry
That I never thought I'd own"
Whoa, the former husband said, ""Your (dyed) hair looks like a wig."
Grounds for divorce, so let it grow silver, like the sly fox. Smart cookie.
Grounds for divorce, so let it grow silver, like the sly fox. Smart cookie.
3
So much passion for a subject near and dear to my heart. And my head of gray hair. My first gray hair appeared at age 16 and gradually turned over the next 40 plus years. There have been many compliments along the way, from strangers and friends alike. Countless women admit they wish they could go au natural, but fear the transition or the end result, or both. I have had several hairdressers over the years for various reasons, and not a single one suggested I color my hair. In fact, a few said they would refuse to do it had I asked. It was definitely beautiful, if I do say so myself. It is just lately that I feel it is aging me and losing its luster. Perhaps I'm "growing into it" -- the big SIX-OH is on the horizon. That scares me a lot more than a gray hair at 16. A key to pulling off gray/silver/white hair is to have it be as natural as possible, and wearing complimenting colors in both clothes and (very little) make-up. Embrace your appearance by playing up your natural beauty. It is there.
2
Good shampoo and conditioners help with the shine and texture.
Right now. I'm fond of products with argan oil.
Right now. I'm fond of products with argan oil.
Hair is some dead cells. I sometimes dye my hair, and sometimes don't. It is no big deal. Just try not to abuse my scalp when I do dye my hair.
3
So discouraging that this is even a conversation we are still having in 2015.
11
Why?
I could'nt agree with you more.
I never thought I'd ever color my hair. I don't even wear any makeup. I love gray hair on so many other people, but it turned out that I hated the way it looks on me - and people kept telling me it looked terrible. So I caved in. I'm very conflicted about it, especially about the expense. It's really hard to look in the mirror and think you look awful.
6
You didn't need a new hair color. You needed a new set of people giving you advice. I hope you don't think of them as "friends".
1
I guess I've been lucky. Around the time my first child was born, in my early thirties, I noticed that silver streaks were starting around my temples. Several years and a few more children later, a really great silver streak emerged from my forehead (think Rogue). Through sheer laziness coupled with a counter-cultural "natural woman" attitude, I was never tempted to do anything about my hair color. Now it's silvery while all over, and my hairdresser, who also happens to be a gifted colorist, has always encouraged me to leave it alone - fine by me. But you know what's best? It helps me get a seat on the subway. I play the little-old-lady card reallllllll good.
2
At this point after going through chemo, losing all my hair then having it come back a beautiful silver (though not fully) I refuse to put another chemical in or on my body. I have this rich brown with red tones complexion and have never gotten so many compliments about my hair. On my down days when the body still doesn't feel normal I am tempted to go for the bottle (hair color bottle that is) then remember how I had to color it literally every three weeks as the silver would peep through three days after coloring it.
My motto now is - whatever is the easiest thing to keep going do it. Constantly coloring my hair is not the easiest and I look gorgeous with my new silver. Ha!!
Oh by the way I never refer to my hair as "gray". It is silver thank you very much.
My motto now is - whatever is the easiest thing to keep going do it. Constantly coloring my hair is not the easiest and I look gorgeous with my new silver. Ha!!
Oh by the way I never refer to my hair as "gray". It is silver thank you very much.
23
Prior to gray is the discussion of why women color their hair when they are young? A very high percentage do so and continue throughout their lives. Their hair looks like burned out straw, vs the rich luster of natural hair. I just don't get it!
15
I would never consider coloring my hair. But then I don't color any part of my face either.
I like the idea of looking how I naturally look.
I like the idea of looking how I naturally look.
19
We paid our dues. You don't reach mature adulthood without experiencing some terrible tragedies along the way, which does help put things into perspective. Some things are more important than others.
To dye or not to dye? That is the question.
Answer: Viva la difference! Whatever floats your boat!
Personally, I am a fan of the poem: "When I am an Old Woman, I Shall Wear Purple." http://www.barbados.org/poetry/wheniam.htm
Just like yourself and enjoy life. I love funny socks (Happy Socks.com) and unusual earrings, which helped me get through about a year's worth of cancer treatments this past year. Try being bald for months, then see how important it is to worry about whether or not to dye your hair or go grey/silver/white, and what other people recommend. Remember, some of these women (or husbands) telling other women what to do really do not have the other woman's best interest at heart.
To dye or not to dye? That is the question.
Answer: Viva la difference! Whatever floats your boat!
Personally, I am a fan of the poem: "When I am an Old Woman, I Shall Wear Purple." http://www.barbados.org/poetry/wheniam.htm
Just like yourself and enjoy life. I love funny socks (Happy Socks.com) and unusual earrings, which helped me get through about a year's worth of cancer treatments this past year. Try being bald for months, then see how important it is to worry about whether or not to dye your hair or go grey/silver/white, and what other people recommend. Remember, some of these women (or husbands) telling other women what to do really do not have the other woman's best interest at heart.
12
It's really quite simple. The key to looking good comes from within. Unfortunately, for many people, they have no idea what that means.
14
I started going gray in my late 20s and never considered dying it. I liked how I looked. I was lucky to look years younger than my actual age and I thought it was cool. I'm now in my 70s and though people are regularly surprised when I tell them my age (or they're being polite), that's not what's important--it's how you feel and your outlook on life that matters. I still try to keep my look "cool" and have a friend who jokingly calls me Spike because that's how I sometimes wear it. I've kept my hair natural & gotten compliments through each decade. I've even inspired a few people to go natural and they love it once they get passed the growing in phase! My highly critical sister who harassed me for years to dye it, decide to go natural and has never looked better! And boy have I saved a ton of money which I'm happily using in my retirement!
6
My hair started to go gray at about 35, and I dyed it for about 10 years. Then I decided that I like it's natural color, and grew it out. Unfortunately, I now work for a new organization, and women with gray hair find themselves walked out of the building. I saw it happen three times, and I stopped on my way home and bought my old favorite color. I really don't think that those women were fired because of their performance, they were fired because their (male) bosses could not see them as relevant. I'd love to go gray, but it does make me look older, employers want youth, and I can't risk it. When I retire, I'm going to grow it out again.
23
Sad how superficial bosses are ! What about gray haired bosses are they walked out ???
2
Oh my. In 2015, this hurts.
1
I think you are making a case that a woman who allows her hair to age naturally into silver, is a sign of an emancipated woman who could care less whether men think she is "relevant." Its a kind of emotional enslavement.
2
So much angst, on all sides, about something so trivial. Who cares what choice women make? All these arguments do the same thing: make important an unimportant detail about a woman. If woman can't move on from such nonsense how can we expect men to?
1
When men stop firing them for being gray, women will "move on."
You know, it seems like all this was discussed long ago, but I just can't remember the context. There was something about beauty standards and gender and power and whose gaze... Oh right! It was feminism!
And then there was something about waves, but don't think it was about hair. Hmmm...
And then there was something about waves, but don't think it was about hair. Hmmm...
6
I quit dying my hair a few years ago at 60 and now have very long silver hair. I also realized that it was a look that didn't especially fit with makeup (at least not for me) and except for some concealer, I got rid of that too. I occasionally put makeup on for parties and such, but I don't like it anymore - I feel like a drag queen. I finally just want to look like me.
Awhile ago I watched the tv series "Top of the Lake" in which Holly Hunter plays a wacked-out feminist guru with waist length silver hair. I realized, with a shock, I look quite a bit like that but now, like Patti Smith and Emmylou Harris, I own it.
Do whatever makes you happy. It's your hair. Nobody else's.
The least we can do to make our lives saner is accept and appreciate other women's choices.
Awhile ago I watched the tv series "Top of the Lake" in which Holly Hunter plays a wacked-out feminist guru with waist length silver hair. I realized, with a shock, I look quite a bit like that but now, like Patti Smith and Emmylou Harris, I own it.
Do whatever makes you happy. It's your hair. Nobody else's.
The least we can do to make our lives saner is accept and appreciate other women's choices.
10
I had very dark brown hair as a child. When I was 13, I started seeing a few silver hairs -- no surprise, since my paternal grandmother had silver-white hair at age 30 and my father was nearly wholly gray by 40. In my 20's I used a dark brown rinse to cover the gray, but when I turned 30 I had my ears pierced, got a divorce, and applied to law school. The frosting on that cake was having my hair frosted (once only) so I could let the gray grow in.
No one ever complimented me on my beautiful, thick, straight hair when it was dark, but now (47 years later) I rarely go a day without someone stopping me on the street or in the aisle of the grocery store to tell me how beautiful my silver hair (now worn in a French twist) is. When your hair grays, your skin tone changes to complement it. Nothing looks worse than an older woman with hair dyed a harsh color (black, red, yellow, whatever) and skin that doesn't match. Gray hair can be beautiful -- and if it's not naturally silvery and glittery, there are rinses that will remove the dull overtones. You don't have to look old if you're gray -- I look at least ten years younger than my actual age, and so do many women I know who have resisted the impulse to turn their hair into colors it never intended to be. And despite what an earlier commenter said, gray hair is not necessarily aging. Attitudes are.
No one ever complimented me on my beautiful, thick, straight hair when it was dark, but now (47 years later) I rarely go a day without someone stopping me on the street or in the aisle of the grocery store to tell me how beautiful my silver hair (now worn in a French twist) is. When your hair grays, your skin tone changes to complement it. Nothing looks worse than an older woman with hair dyed a harsh color (black, red, yellow, whatever) and skin that doesn't match. Gray hair can be beautiful -- and if it's not naturally silvery and glittery, there are rinses that will remove the dull overtones. You don't have to look old if you're gray -- I look at least ten years younger than my actual age, and so do many women I know who have resisted the impulse to turn their hair into colors it never intended to be. And despite what an earlier commenter said, gray hair is not necessarily aging. Attitudes are.
7
Thank you, thank you! I have recently decided to stop coloring my hair, but have been wavering a little, dreading all of the growing out stages. This forms up my resolve. I will bookmark it.
5
My beautiful wife is 65 years old and has silver hair. I love it. I tell her often, but what is so wonderful is that people on the street stop her to tell her how great her hair is. She dyed it for awhile, and I encouraged her to quit that process. It took awhile and as the narrator states, it does take awhile for things to even out.
Well worth the wait. Too bad your trendy frantic video was tailored for younger women dying their hair silver, and did not show real women of experience with naturally silver locks. They are out there, and they should be celebrated for their magnificence.
Well worth the wait. Too bad your trendy frantic video was tailored for younger women dying their hair silver, and did not show real women of experience with naturally silver locks. They are out there, and they should be celebrated for their magnificence.
14
I have a sister who has grayed beautifully and now sports lovely snow-white hair. I have not been so fortunate - my gray is uneven, yellowy, and unattractive to me when I look in a mirror. I color my hair. Everyone is happy.
2
I would take grey hair over baldness any day!
5
Geez seriously. When you need to proclaim to the world why you wear your hair the way you do, you ain't so full of confidence as you, uh, proclaim.
Not only did I have the sense to wear my hair the way I want to, I moved to a place where every other woman I encounter does likewise. Never seen so many gorgeous gray-haired women in my life--because there were hardly any in Noo Yawk, where women are supposedly bold and sophisticated. And those who are silver in NY tend to spend a heck of a lot of money styling and enhancing its glow.
I'm naturally tabby-colored now, heavy on the gray streaks, and though it would be inappropriate for me to say it looks gorgeous, a young lady I recently encountered at the grocery check-out did that for me.
Ladies, stop anguishing over dopy stuff, and do what you want to.
Not only did I have the sense to wear my hair the way I want to, I moved to a place where every other woman I encounter does likewise. Never seen so many gorgeous gray-haired women in my life--because there were hardly any in Noo Yawk, where women are supposedly bold and sophisticated. And those who are silver in NY tend to spend a heck of a lot of money styling and enhancing its glow.
I'm naturally tabby-colored now, heavy on the gray streaks, and though it would be inappropriate for me to say it looks gorgeous, a young lady I recently encountered at the grocery check-out did that for me.
Ladies, stop anguishing over dopy stuff, and do what you want to.
7
My parents were old enough to be my grandparents so I never saw them or their friends and colleagues nor my grandparents and great grand "generationals" without gray or white hair; they were the "silverbacks" of the tribe--the depositories and guardians of knowledge and wisdom--and they "rocked." When I got my first gray hair--at 16--I was ecstatic; I had become an adult (or so I believed)!
3
I thank my lucky stars everyday that I have hair.
10
I was born to have silver hair!
In my decades as a brunette (authentic or ersatz), never did my hair color receive a compliment, but since I let it go gray at age 52, complete strangers have approached me to express admiration for the silvery hue and ask how it is achieved (just use the appropriate shampoo). Now my hair coordinates with all the blacks, lavenders, pinks, and blues in my wardrobe. Silver hair may not make me look younger, but it makes me look better. And that feeling inspires the confidence with which the article is concerned.
In my decades as a brunette (authentic or ersatz), never did my hair color receive a compliment, but since I let it go gray at age 52, complete strangers have approached me to express admiration for the silvery hue and ask how it is achieved (just use the appropriate shampoo). Now my hair coordinates with all the blacks, lavenders, pinks, and blues in my wardrobe. Silver hair may not make me look younger, but it makes me look better. And that feeling inspires the confidence with which the article is concerned.
5
We make choices all the time of stuff we will or won't do to ourselves to feel better. To dye or not to dye is a question I have seen covered for years in fashion and beauty magazines. I think if coloring your hair makes you feel good, then do it. If not coloring your hair makes you feel good, then walk that path. It would be great whatever pathway you take that when you become middle-aged or older you aren't marginalized, ignored or snarked at when living your life in those years between young-perky and death.
8
I am almost 50 and have struggled with covering grays for the past 20+ years. But now, I've gone cold turkey, I stopped coloring three months ago. Yeah it's looking a bit "interesting" at the moment. But what finally drove me is this: I don't eat junk or fast food, don't put soda or nasty things in my body, I make almost everything from scratch, I don't use make-up (some of that is vanity, if it's not natural, it doesn't count), I try to keep my mind and body healthy. Coloring my hair is the nastiest thing I could do and is antithetical to my life. So, enough already. And everyone so far has said it's going to look really nice, including my hairdresser.
2
I'm 54, mousy brown hair, not much of it although it is shoulder length and I wear it in a bun, and going silver. Please be aware, those of you who dye, that roots are distracting from the look you want, and colors deceive - it may look blond to you but purple or blue to others. Not that I mind purple or blue - my daughter opts for that from time to time - but be sure you are conveying what you want to convey. This is true with tight or minuscule clothing at any age. You can look how you choose; it's all alright with me. Just make sure your reality and self image actually align, so you don't get some shocking bad news.
1
I started going gray in my 30s. I dyed it for a long time and finally got tired of doing so. I'm 50 now and have gotten compliments on my salt-and-pepper hair. People say it looks distinguished. I never got compliments on my dyed hair!
3
My theory/observation:
Those few who go gray in their twenties are not bothered much because they do not feel old and do not yet fear ageing.
And those who go gray late are already feeling settled into not being young and feel proud of their gray hair.
It's those who begin to gray in their 30s and early 40s who seem to be bothered most and make efforts, often for the rest of their lives, to hide the gray.
Those few who go gray in their twenties are not bothered much because they do not feel old and do not yet fear ageing.
And those who go gray late are already feeling settled into not being young and feel proud of their gray hair.
It's those who begin to gray in their 30s and early 40s who seem to be bothered most and make efforts, often for the rest of their lives, to hide the gray.
4
My hair start going white (not grey) in my 30s. I colored it for years, but now that I am in my 60s, I decided that it is flattering and other folks have complemented me on it.
1
A woman of about my age (late 50s) recently complimented my very grey hair. She said that she lived in France half of the year, and that there women routinely accept their hair color, whatever it may be -- especially with some-to-all grey -- but insist on the highest quality cuts they can afford. This makes such beautiful sense.
7
As someone who needs to keep my career going way past retirement age, I need to be as attractive professionally as possible. Ageism is absolutely rampant in our society and for that reason I dare not let my hair go natural.
9
This type of mentality or 'excuse' only serves to perpetuate the problem, thereby making it self-fulfilling. I suppose also due to ageism, everyone who still wants to work should get facelifts? What a defeatist attitude, and no, not reality, unless you make it so.
Say what you will - gray hair in male or female makes one look older. Being male, I have to live with it, but not my wife! I am more than glad she is still the red head I married.
When I see these otherwise normally aged women sporting an ugly gray mop I wonder if they are trying to make some sort of point - or just sadly oblivious.
Mainly I feel sorry for these ladies that deny themselves an easy rollback.
When I see these otherwise normally aged women sporting an ugly gray mop I wonder if they are trying to make some sort of point - or just sadly oblivious.
Mainly I feel sorry for these ladies that deny themselves an easy rollback.
4
Why can't you dye your hair? Why do you have to "live with it"? Maybe because it is obvious and foolish looking? Same goes for women in my opinion.
2
Actually men are just as capable of coloring their hair...if they are willing to make the 'effort' in looking 'younger', as they apparently want their wives to do. So if a woman goes natural or otherwise opts not to subject herself to artifice or chemicals, she must be 'trying to make some point'?
Does all that raw skin on your dragging knuckles bother you much?
Does all that raw skin on your dragging knuckles bother you much?
1
@Frank, If you think just because you are a man you have to live with gray hair that makes you look older, think again.
Somewhere there is a woman out there who is thinking to herself, "There is an otherwise normally aging man sporting an ugly gray mop. I wonder if he is trying to make some point - or just sadly oblivious. I feel sorry for these guys who deny themselves an easy rollback."
Somewhere there is a woman out there who is thinking to herself, "There is an otherwise normally aging man sporting an ugly gray mop. I wonder if he is trying to make some point - or just sadly oblivious. I feel sorry for these guys who deny themselves an easy rollback."
Our naturally blonde mother colored her hair when we were growing up, using home products that smelled of ammonia. One time her hair turned a pale shade of green, which my sister and I found hilarious. Mom looked a bit like Doris Day, and her hair (except for that green episode) was always pretty.
After I graduated from college and before I could afford to buy a car, my mom drove me back and forth to my job. She would have been in her mid-fifties. One day I got into the car and she said, "Notice anything?" She had gotten a short haircut, lopping off all the blonde, and her hair was a beautiful silver. She never colored it again, and it eventually turned white.
I'm 64, and keep waiting for the gray to take over. So far, though, my short hair has just developed all sorts of other colors on its own: light blonde, dark blonde, coppery strands, a weird patch of bronze. I kind of like it, but am not sure what's going on.
After I graduated from college and before I could afford to buy a car, my mom drove me back and forth to my job. She would have been in her mid-fifties. One day I got into the car and she said, "Notice anything?" She had gotten a short haircut, lopping off all the blonde, and her hair was a beautiful silver. She never colored it again, and it eventually turned white.
I'm 64, and keep waiting for the gray to take over. So far, though, my short hair has just developed all sorts of other colors on its own: light blonde, dark blonde, coppery strands, a weird patch of bronze. I kind of like it, but am not sure what's going on.
1
Great article! The beauty standards for women having gotten even more skewed since women now expect one another to use the confidence in a bottle (otherwise you do not fall into the range known as normal). The pressures are not just from judgmental men -
5
OK...I'm a guy with mostly gray hair, so maybe I am slightly biased. I profess my bias for young hair styles. It doesn't make a difference what color the woman's hair color is. Long or medium length hair regardless of the color can be beautiful. As long as the woman is comfortable with herself and her style, then that's what matters.
1
I earned every one of my silver strands of hair and I'm not wasting time and money to hide the gray. These strands of wisdom are beautiful to some people.
5
My confidence is a part of my character,it comes from my ability to think for myself, and it has always been there.
My confidence was there when I was a kid in pigtails and braids, a teenager with hair to my waist, a young woman with thick, dark, unmanageable hair, older with a straightening iron and more manageable dark hair, and now, early 60s with hair kept artificially dark with dye.
I like my hair. I like it dark. It still looks good on me. I don't question anyone who goes for gray - but, really, to make gray hair look good is just as much work as dying your hair is.
And sporting gray hair means nothing about the confidence of the person inside.
My confidence was there when I was a kid in pigtails and braids, a teenager with hair to my waist, a young woman with thick, dark, unmanageable hair, older with a straightening iron and more manageable dark hair, and now, early 60s with hair kept artificially dark with dye.
I like my hair. I like it dark. It still looks good on me. I don't question anyone who goes for gray - but, really, to make gray hair look good is just as much work as dying your hair is.
And sporting gray hair means nothing about the confidence of the person inside.
1
The men always seem to get the gorgeous silver hair. My son is 42 and has it, striking silver color with sheen and full dbody of hair. While his 73 mom has white in the front, difffrent shades of brown in the back and thin and dry, the only option being to color it. tain't fair.
You forgot about male pattern balding.
I have a wonderful head of silver hair, the sort that generates compliments from other women - strangers as well as acquaintances. It suits my coloring just fine. When I let it grow out I instantly was perceived to be ten years older (pretty close to my actual age, but in a profession where gray eminence was valued, not derided). I grew up with reddish brown hair, used to be a very expensively dyed redhead, and there are men whom I have known for many years who still call me Red and say, why did you go gray. You used to be hot (verbatim, within the past six months).
I am no less vain than any ordinary woman, and I take care of my appearance and my health. Gray hair doesn't make you look younger, that is true. But I am perfectly content to appear at first glance to be exactly what I am, a 64 year old retiree and grandmother. If that means that someone doesn't want to strike up a conversation to discover that I am also a wife and investor and traveler and paddler and sports fan and volunteer and card player and collector, that is none of my concern.
I am no less vain than any ordinary woman, and I take care of my appearance and my health. Gray hair doesn't make you look younger, that is true. But I am perfectly content to appear at first glance to be exactly what I am, a 64 year old retiree and grandmother. If that means that someone doesn't want to strike up a conversation to discover that I am also a wife and investor and traveler and paddler and sports fan and volunteer and card player and collector, that is none of my concern.
9
Many women, as well as men, lose their hair for a variety of reasons (genetics, illness, treatments for illness, hormones, etc). I'm one of the many who opted for wigs to deal with a permanent situation. When you're in your 60s, though, the issue of going gray with wigs becomes a biggie. Must we wear gray wigs just because we would be gray, if we had hair? Is it true that gray matches the aging face, and if so, does choosing to wear an auburn wig instead of a gray one a political statement? Can't we treat hair as an accessory, like shoes?
5
Someone once said "gray hair looks really good the younger you are", and I have noticed this is largely true. Beautiful thick heads of truly white hair with smooth youthful facial skin are a killer combination, one I surely wouldn't mind. As you get older, gray hair can look great or just "old", depending on how it comes in, and the quality and density of the hair. A friend of mine in her early 70's has this lovely thick full wavy hair I'd kill for:) But other women wear little thin dull gray skullcaps that don't do much for them. Everyone should do whatever they want of course, but people who gush over their "love my gray, would never color it" hair, probably are fairly young, and/or have really great hair to start with.
2
OK, the woman in the animation was married to a jerk. He criticized her hair, and she decided to stop coloring it, maybe hoping he would like it. Once silver, she left him. What is the moral of this story? I don't think it has anything to do with liking gray hair.
Here is the problem with gray hair: gray is NOT a color that elicits a positive emotion. If anything, gray is dull. Cloudy. Colorless. It's not a color associated with youth, beauty, and vitality, for good reason.
Very few women look good with gray hair. I won't even mention young, vibrant, and sexy. It helps if you have yellow in your skin, but a lot depends on how much gray you have and the color of the gray. Your skin's condition matters, too.
Coloring hair is a royal pain in the butt. It's time consuming and it's expensive. I don't blame any woman for wanting to walk away from the process. However, if a woman wants to maximize her beauty potential, there is nothing more youth-inducing or sexy than placing just the right hair color next to the color of her face skin.
A great hair color is almost like a great lipstick color, except better. You don't need much else. And some of the world's most talented hair colorists work in NYC. It helps if you're wealthy.
Here is the problem with gray hair: gray is NOT a color that elicits a positive emotion. If anything, gray is dull. Cloudy. Colorless. It's not a color associated with youth, beauty, and vitality, for good reason.
Very few women look good with gray hair. I won't even mention young, vibrant, and sexy. It helps if you have yellow in your skin, but a lot depends on how much gray you have and the color of the gray. Your skin's condition matters, too.
Coloring hair is a royal pain in the butt. It's time consuming and it's expensive. I don't blame any woman for wanting to walk away from the process. However, if a woman wants to maximize her beauty potential, there is nothing more youth-inducing or sexy than placing just the right hair color next to the color of her face skin.
A great hair color is almost like a great lipstick color, except better. You don't need much else. And some of the world's most talented hair colorists work in NYC. It helps if you're wealthy.
2
Spoken like a hair colorist....
2
You don't need much else but money?
I'm not a colorist (in the beauty salon sense) but color theory plays a role in my career. I knew about hair dye from an early age because my brunette mother started to go gray at the age of 18, and colored her own hair for over thirty years. I helped her to transition to full gray in her late 50's. She was lucky, her gray could be described as a pale ash blonde, which was absolutely stunning against her skin color. People couldn't believe how young she looked. However, the "young" effect she experienced would not exist had she made the transition at a much earlier age. Whenever you place a lighter, complimentary color around aging skin, the overall effect tends to be softer and brighter, drawing more attention to the eyes. Hence, the "young" effect.
I have been graying since I was 18, and let it go gray when I retired. Two weeks ago my five year old grandson asked me why I dyed my hair white? I told him so I would look more gown up.
6
I love my gray hair. As soon as I started growing gray, I knew I would never color it. I'm 50 now, and am almost all gray in front. I still have no intention of coloring it.
2
Super cool video. Mine's silver now, but I can't .... forget it. It's a super cool video.
1
Two words: Emmylou Harris.
9
White is stunning on some, not so much for many. As for me, I hate salt and pepper hair. It always looks dirty and never shines the way my formerly black locks did - and still do, with a little help from my hairdresser.
1
my cardiologist asked me if I was wearing a wig, he thought I had alopecia! My hair is pretty white and he said it was so perfect he thought it couldn't be real! Apparently alopecia may be a symptom of cardiac problems. We're still laughing about it!
I have silver hair (I'm in my 50's) and I LOVE it. I keep it nicely cut and I think it is FAR prettier than my contemporaries who wear brassy red highlights, or shoepolish brown or too-black whatever...and then all the things that can go wrong with blond. I'm often embarrassed for these ladies who feel such a need to deny their experience and wisdom...ah well...
1
My blond covers brown. Does this deny experience and wisdom? No. Neither does covering grey. BTW, never had anything go wrong with the blond.
My hair, like my mother's before me, went gray and then pure white starting at about 30, and I never for a moment considered coloring it, and I know she never did either, either because she couldn't afford it or because it ruins your hair. I do not remember my mother with the brown hair of her youth. To me, it's a gift and I ultimately convinced my wife to stop dyeing her hair about ten years ago. Her hair is healthy and a beautiful salt and pepper combination, and people tell her all the time how beautiful it is.
11
As a small child, I was blonde. Over time my hair darkened, then gray began appearing here and there, but I found I liked it. I am 85 and all-gray now especially around the face. People admire my hair, the gray sparkles like sterling. A hairdresser once told me "I know people who would kill for hair like yours." I rest my case.
12
Gray hair can be very beautiful but few can wear it; as is highly aging.
25
How did you completely miss the message of this piece??
6
Not only are you 'wrong' imho, but your comment is very telling. First off, how can it be that 'few can wear' that which is totally natural for them (in this case, grey hair)? I think most would agree that in general, nature knows what it's doing, and that whatever you're given by nature, at whatever point in your life, is 'right'.
Also, your statement implies that there is something inherently wrong with looking 'aged' (which of course we all know is a common belief in our society...but that doesn't mean it's right). Thankfully, more people are realizing that a naturally grey-haired person, who is content with themselves and their appearance, and not constantly fighting the futile fight usually looks much better that the anxiety-ridden botoxed person with that 'off' looking hair color and/or very obvious toupee, and who's always finding another 'flaw' as the result of aging, that they need to 'fix'.
Also, your statement implies that there is something inherently wrong with looking 'aged' (which of course we all know is a common belief in our society...but that doesn't mean it's right). Thankfully, more people are realizing that a naturally grey-haired person, who is content with themselves and their appearance, and not constantly fighting the futile fight usually looks much better that the anxiety-ridden botoxed person with that 'off' looking hair color and/or very obvious toupee, and who's always finding another 'flaw' as the result of aging, that they need to 'fix'.
7
Not nearly as aging as dyed hair combined with skin that tells the true story. And some of us love aging in case you hadn't noticed!
3
Gray hair does look good on some people but not everyone. On some it makes you look ten or more years older. I believe some vanity is a healthy thing.
28
I believe some variety is a healthy thing. :)
1
Only if you think looking older is a bad thing. In many cultures, if you look older, people assume you have more authority and/or are wiser. Sure, we're not in one of those societies, but I rather like the idea.
1
Ten years ago at 63, I looked like a brindle great Dane, at least 4 colors. .. battleship grey, some silver. dark and light mousey browns. Plus my complexion looked dreadful. What a wonderful bonus when I started coloring it! Medium golden blond shows up differently on each of my colors, so I look like I have natural, sun-produced highlights. I love it!
32
When I was coloring I most resembled a
tri-color collie.
tri-color collie.
My mother had a beautiful head of white hair by the time she was 30. I bemoan the fact that I inherited my father's hair with nary a white or gray hair in sight. Lots of folks I meet don't believe I don't dye my almost 60 year old head. I thank role models such as Helen Mirren and Judi Dench - both incredibly beautiful though not "young" or svelte. Their beauty is not only informed by the physical but by confidence and talent.
9
Helen Mirren is totally svelte, especially for her age. She's got it goin' on!!!
1
My father had a beautiful head of silver hair at a young age that I have inherited and it's a struggle to go silver and stay relevant in my field. There is such a push for youth in the work force that it's hard to feel competitive and have silver hair. I definitely notice that in the city, older women especially tend to color their hair pretty religiously while in more laid back communities women seem to let themselves age with less artifice regarding their looks. My solution is to salt some black in to my hair by getting streaks done a few times a year. Less upkeep (that stripe of roots is a lot less glaringly obvious) and hopefully someday I'll let the streaking go as well and be the real silver fox that I am.
http://curbappealinsleepyhollow.blogspot.com/
http://curbappealinsleepyhollow.blogspot.com/
6
Why limit this discussion to women? So many of both sexes have coal-black, blond, or dark red dyed hair. There's no subtlety of colored highlights; just a monochromatic assault on their heads.
As one who's going to be 60 in a couple months, I refuse. If you must dye your hair, at least do a good job or spend the money on a competent beautician.
As one who's going to be 60 in a couple months, I refuse. If you must dye your hair, at least do a good job or spend the money on a competent beautician.
18
The woman in the phone call had a husband problem, not a hair problem.
Congrats to all who believe their pigment-free hair is beautiful. Some of us are not so blessed, either with the hair or the self perception. For us, hair coloring products have come a long way in the last 20 or 30 years, and offer much more variation and natural-looking solutions if covering grey is the objective. Any woman (or man, for that matter), who's still sporting "New York red" or a jet black dye job has probably gotten locked into a routine (or hairdresser) and doesn't realize the treatment isn't flattering.
For myself, I sometimes choose color, sometimes let it grow out. Depends on my mood. I'm just glad to have the hair to color.
Congrats to all who believe their pigment-free hair is beautiful. Some of us are not so blessed, either with the hair or the self perception. For us, hair coloring products have come a long way in the last 20 or 30 years, and offer much more variation and natural-looking solutions if covering grey is the objective. Any woman (or man, for that matter), who's still sporting "New York red" or a jet black dye job has probably gotten locked into a routine (or hairdresser) and doesn't realize the treatment isn't flattering.
For myself, I sometimes choose color, sometimes let it grow out. Depends on my mood. I'm just glad to have the hair to color.
15
This piece reminds me of the fantastic Amy Schumer skit "Girl you don't need makeup" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyeTJVU4wVo
Mr. Grella calls the gray hair of a woman who he describes as beautiful and radiant a "glaring blemish". But clearly, it wasn't such a blemish, because she came across as beautiful and radiant. As opposed to washed out looking and tired. Which is what gray hairdoes for some people. He also doesn't mention the hair being coarse or dry, which color rinses tend to improve.
Saying that her confidence and poise was what made her beautiful begs the question, mightn't some of it stem from the knowledge that she was attractive? Sadly women are judged on looks, as the author demonstrates.
Would Lucille Ball have projected greater conficence if she hadn't dyed her hair red? Albert Einstein radiated confidence and refused to put too much thought/effort into how he dressed or looked. But if you are not a genius, and more apt to be mistaken for a homeless person than a brilliant scientist, is it wise to sport that look?
Imagine Nancy Pelosi with gray hair and granny skirts instead of being carefully coiffed and dressed. Would people admire her confidence or chastise her for letting herself go?
What I really don't get is that out of all the beauty routines that women often engage in - hair styling, manicures, pedicures, makeup, pantyhose, spanx etc., dying one's hair is one of the least disruptive and annoying. You sit in a chair. The color lasts a while.
Mr. Grella calls the gray hair of a woman who he describes as beautiful and radiant a "glaring blemish". But clearly, it wasn't such a blemish, because she came across as beautiful and radiant. As opposed to washed out looking and tired. Which is what gray hairdoes for some people. He also doesn't mention the hair being coarse or dry, which color rinses tend to improve.
Saying that her confidence and poise was what made her beautiful begs the question, mightn't some of it stem from the knowledge that she was attractive? Sadly women are judged on looks, as the author demonstrates.
Would Lucille Ball have projected greater conficence if she hadn't dyed her hair red? Albert Einstein radiated confidence and refused to put too much thought/effort into how he dressed or looked. But if you are not a genius, and more apt to be mistaken for a homeless person than a brilliant scientist, is it wise to sport that look?
Imagine Nancy Pelosi with gray hair and granny skirts instead of being carefully coiffed and dressed. Would people admire her confidence or chastise her for letting herself go?
What I really don't get is that out of all the beauty routines that women often engage in - hair styling, manicures, pedicures, makeup, pantyhose, spanx etc., dying one's hair is one of the least disruptive and annoying. You sit in a chair. The color lasts a while.
15
Can't someone with gray hair be carefully coiffed and dressed? Also, dyeing one's hair is quite disruptive if you lack the money or leisure time to make it happen.
3
However, dying one's hair, along with having polish put on finger and toenails, is one of the most disruptive things to the environment and to the health of the person having it done, and the workers doing it. There was a NYT article several weeks back about the poisoning of manicurists due to the chemicals they constantly are exposed to. My hair stylist (I have only ever had my hair cut, never colored although it is going gray) has asthma due to the exposure to the chemicals in hair dyes and perms.
I am also a bit puzzled about how so many women have the money and time for all this coloring. As I said, I've never had it done, and in the beginning my main reason was the cost, both in terms of money and time. Now I am glad to not have exposure to the chemicals as well.
I am also a bit puzzled about how so many women have the money and time for all this coloring. As I said, I've never had it done, and in the beginning my main reason was the cost, both in terms of money and time. Now I am glad to not have exposure to the chemicals as well.
"Imagine Nancy Pelosi with gray hair and granny skirts instead of being carefully coiffed and dressed."
So it's all or nothing then? If you go gray you might as well be wearing granny skirts?
Christine LaGarde anyone?
So it's all or nothing then? If you go gray you might as well be wearing granny skirts?
Christine LaGarde anyone?
1
I think the key to good looking hair at any age and in any color, natural or otherwise, is good maintenance and grooming (i.e. healthy hair and scalp) and a good cut and styling (no, that doesn't automatically mean time-consuming or expensive). I'm not at the dye-or-go-grey stage myself but my mother has been teetering there for years. Her hair turned mostly grey in her 30s but she dyes it and is trying to start a new career in her 60s so she keeps dying it because she worries about job prospects. I support her going natural like she wants to, but with a fresh cut. I think she'd still look current but without all the dye maintenance headaches.
I think one of the reasons grey hair is so often poo-pooed is it tends to go hand-in-hand with a broader no-nonsense sensibility among many naturally gray women, which means grey hair is often plain hair too. And let's face it, a full head of grey/white hair is also frequently a thinning head of hair and more challenging to cut and care for. But it needn't be unflattering. A woman in my company has 100% silver/grey hair with a simple but tailored cut and it's strikingly beautiful. Other women go grey and just lop their hair off or let it go long and frayed at the ends. Untended hair is everyone's choice, same as an untended front yard, but that aesthetic choice isn't broadly appealing. That said, discrimination against people with grey hair is small-minded and unacceptable.
I think one of the reasons grey hair is so often poo-pooed is it tends to go hand-in-hand with a broader no-nonsense sensibility among many naturally gray women, which means grey hair is often plain hair too. And let's face it, a full head of grey/white hair is also frequently a thinning head of hair and more challenging to cut and care for. But it needn't be unflattering. A woman in my company has 100% silver/grey hair with a simple but tailored cut and it's strikingly beautiful. Other women go grey and just lop their hair off or let it go long and frayed at the ends. Untended hair is everyone's choice, same as an untended front yard, but that aesthetic choice isn't broadly appealing. That said, discrimination against people with grey hair is small-minded and unacceptable.
10
A few years ago, much to my horror, I began noticing the steady influx of grey hairs and undertook colouring and plucking measures to remove the offending strands. Now however, in my early 30s, I find myself wishing there was a way to just go fully grey immediately! I've learned to appreciate the lovely silver streaks but find it frustrating that the process is so slow. If only I could find a colourist who was able to match my natural silver!
4
My father had red hair, always in a military burr sonce the Marines. In his mid-forties, a silver spot the size of a quarter developed where his part had been. His 5 kids would kid him about his silver "polka dot". In my late 30's, I realized that I had his polka dot at my part, too. With my shoulder length blonde hair, this silver stripe framed my face, causing people to ask 'who does your hair color'. At a family get-together, my 3 sisters were commenting on my silver streak, and I smugly said 'I got Daddy's polka dot'. My smugness disappeared when all three said they also had the solver polka dot, but they colored their hair to get rid of it....
9
When I was young I had red hair. From day 1, this defined me. I was "The Redhead." When it turned white (not gray, white), I had a bit of an identity crisis. I tried to color it, but it was not the same and I now have naturally white hair and a new identity as "The Woman Who is Not afraid to be Herself." (At least, that's how I like to think of myself).
23
The smell of the dye chemicals in hair saloons makes me want to run away. I don't want to have all those chemicals on my head and I don't want to take the time for the expensive procedure which comes with the dye. I have no problem with my silver sparkles and I'm not in a beauty competition with other women. Earlier in life in an other country my hairdresser always dyed my hair with henna powder into a nice maroon. But one day I just had enough of that.
10
I got my first gray hair in my 20's and colored my hair until last summer when I was 55 and developed a reaction to the hair dye. I had already grown tired of the constant maintenance, time, and money required so this actually came as a relief. I had my hair stylist buzz my hair off, leaving me with a silver crewcut which I still sport, a year later. I also went to my optometrist and got a new pair of the funkiest eyeglasses I could find. My decision was to embrace and rock the change. Most folks who know me loved the look. For a long time, people kept coming up to me and asking to touch my hair. Total strangers - women my age and older-- approached me in public and confessed they wished they had the guts to stop coloring their hair and go for a short cut. A handful of people - women in their 70's -- told me they thought silver hair aged me (one even pretended not to recognize me when I bumped into her at a party, telling me that she wouldn't have known who the old woman was if someone hadn't asked her if she had seen my new look). These naysayers behaved as my silver hair was intended as a personal reproach, which surprised and saddened me. I have noticed that in some settings I've become invisible - in some restaurants and stores it's as if I'm in the blind spot of service providers, some of whom talk down to me, calling me "honey" and "dear". It's too bad that we judge women based on their decision to color (or not) their hair. But I'm glad to be who I really am.
35
Good for you. it's ludicrous to see blondes and browns on women whose faces don't match up! Beauty is from within.
I can't imagine ever being "a woman whose self-esteem was grounded in approval from others." That said, it's an unfortunate reality that discrimination in employment based on age -- either in hiring or retention -- is very real. That is one reason that white-haired employees and prospective employees color their hair. I LOVE my graying hair! And as I let it grow out a bit, I'm discovering that it's curly/wavy to boot, and I love that, too! Now, the next step is shaving: As in, why do women bother to shave their legs and armpits? I don't do that anymore, either. It's such a waste of time. So I also love perspective. Life in some respects gets better and better!!
14
Thats all well and good except that age discrimination against women in many fields is rampant and grey hair makes it even easier!
26
The New York Times readership is a strange mix which probably includes many of the 1% who can continue to look fabulous into old age with assistance of all kinds. It also continues those au naturel types who were bohemian in the sixties and like to live an alternative lifestyle to the rat race of high achievement. At 67 I am not going places where I am competing with red carpet people. My husband is four years older, bald with grey and white beard, and a man who believes hair dye and make up are probably bad for you. My mother and mother in law went au naturel and never dyed their hair nor had their finger nails done or painted. They were teachers who morphed into gardeners, bakers, painters and child carers as they aged. It is in this mold that I fit comfortably. I believe a head that has never submitted to dye is called a "virgin head". We think that is hilarious!!
18
I rarely look at myself in a mirror. I don't know if it is the lighting, but when I do look at myself at home, my hair is mostly brown with a touch of grey.
So, it is always a shock when I go to the beauty parlor for a haircut and realize how grey my hair actually is. (When I was in my 60s, my hairdresser mentioned that my hair was "turning." I thought she meant that it was shifting and growing in a different direction. That is how naïve and oblivious I was.)
Now that I am 73 my hair is mostly a silver-grey--at the beauty shop. My hair dresser at my last visit suggested a comb-in lavender powder (I think) that lasts a few weeks. I was not interested.
So, it is always a shock when I go to the beauty parlor for a haircut and realize how grey my hair actually is. (When I was in my 60s, my hairdresser mentioned that my hair was "turning." I thought she meant that it was shifting and growing in a different direction. That is how naïve and oblivious I was.)
Now that I am 73 my hair is mostly a silver-grey--at the beauty shop. My hair dresser at my last visit suggested a comb-in lavender powder (I think) that lasts a few weeks. I was not interested.
4
Lavender powder? That's intriguing. I have to look that up.
1
full grey hair for a long time. lots of people ask me this standard question - Why don't you colour your hair? my answer - why do you think I am not doing it? I do colour my hair grey and remember that grey colour is very costly since very few people use it.
murali
murali
6
I have been gray since 40 and do not agree with this writer. Gray does look old. However, I never dyed my hair--too much trouble--and at least now that I am old, it is white all over, so it is a nice gray, and now it fits my age.
8
I used to have "low lights" (the opposite of highlights) to reduce the amount of grey but left a good amount of grey. Just turned 60 and decided to go completely natural. It feels right to have grey hair at my age.
6
I stopped highlighting my hair when I could no longer fib to my spouse (with a straight face) about the cost of the procedure. I'm in my early 60s and not afraid to admit it.
5
I always planned on going old and gray naturally. But now I find, at age 68, that all the women around me dye their hair. It is made worse because I do not have silver hair, but mousy gray-brown hair. So many women tell me they HAVE to have their hair dyed because they have to look good. Men whom I date think I am older. I would give up, but I can't afford to have my hair dyed and pay for courses, books, and art materials, which are more important to my development as a person.
19
If your hair is a fairly light brown with grey, a misting, or very light spray bottle with household peroxide might work well for you.
You can mist the top surface layer of your hair and around your face, and gradually get a nice golden sun kissed glow. You can totally control the process (it takes a lot to seriously lighten hair), never have roots, and since it's gradual (household peroxide not as strong as what they put in hair lightener, so it's hard to overdo), it doesn't damage hair the way the "scorch and burn" process of salon highlights can. Looks natural, and it's practically free!
1
Seems to me that many of the older women dying their hair DON'T look good, their hair does not match their faces. Just because one feels that they HAVE to look good doesn't mean that they do ... much better to accept one's life with pride and confidence, gray hair and all.
24
Meh, you look great. A smile is the best look.
1
Ladies, I've got news for you. There is nothing sexier than a gal who wears whatever her hair color happens to be. If it's gray, it's gray. Women that dye their hair don't look as sexy. Simple as that.
Oh, and if you really want your skin to look stunning? Go mostly vegan. You'll be surprised at the results. You'll look fabulous.
Oh, and if you really want your skin to look stunning? Go mostly vegan. You'll be surprised at the results. You'll look fabulous.
13
Well I have some news for you - women are not at all interested in your opinions regarding our looks. Enjoy your grey vegan lifestyle and leave us alone.
6
Easy!
I have never dyed my hair and have had the great good fortune to have a silvery white color. I receive many compliments on it -- I don't recall anyone ever asking me why I don't dye my hair. But that may just be selective memory.
Also, as we age, don't you think all those chemicals do something to the scalp and the quality of the hair? I see a lot of women with very thin hair and I wonder if they maybe did it just a tad too much Anyway the best hair compliment I ever received was a guy telling me I had signature hair and one could always see me in the crowd. If you are the only one in your grouop -- you stand out. Roll with it. Much more important things to fuss about in life.
Also, as we age, don't you think all those chemicals do something to the scalp and the quality of the hair? I see a lot of women with very thin hair and I wonder if they maybe did it just a tad too much Anyway the best hair compliment I ever received was a guy telling me I had signature hair and one could always see me in the crowd. If you are the only one in your grouop -- you stand out. Roll with it. Much more important things to fuss about in life.
13
Nice message but flashing graphics made me nauseous! Confusing au natural audio message combined with speedy, aggressive graphics....feeling a bit assaulted... Glad she got the divorce tho...
18
In my late 30s when my blonde hair darkened towards brown, I had it colored red for fun and liked it, until I realized how fast it faded--but it faded to blonde. So I had it colored blonde. But about 3 years ago, I realized my natural hair color had changed to all grey in the front, and I liked the grow-out better than the salon color. So that was it--back to natural in my 60s. I love it, and it's so much easier too--not to mention cheaper. ( And I too get compliments on my hair color.)
3
I started going gray at age 18. I dyed until around age 43, when I felt I had enough gravitas to pull off my natural silver. I love it, and get many compliments. However, many older women in my life who are dyed and botoxed within an inch of their lives were horrified! They constantly ask if I'll start dying it again. I believe that it's deeply rooted in a fear of aging.
28
My mother had hair dyed black until she was 92, and it looked really weird. My mother-in-law's hair was orangey-red on the day she died at 102. It looked even weirder. I am not going to dye my hair, no matter what. Now I am in my late 60s, and my hair is salt and pepper. My age is my age, and there is no reason for me to be ashamed of that fact. I just say that older is better! I understand others make other decisions, and live and let live. But really, my mother and mother-in-law should not have been ashamed of their natural self. A few years before she died, Mom said she wanted me to do something for her. I figured maybe pick up some ice cream for her when I was at the store. She said she wanted me to dye my hair because it was turning white. I simply said that I was not gong to do that. But later, my teenage self exploded, and I thought, "OK. Maybe I should dye it pink!"
44
I started going grey in my 20's, am now 40 and don't color my hair. What perplexes me is when other women comment on how I should color my hair - hairdressers, my dental assistant, friends, relatives. Where's the support? Yes, I'm award of hair dye. But, no, I'm not interested. We need a silver acceptance movement a la the body size acceptance movement!
44
Well, yes! I compliment lovely gray, silver, white hair. To me it's all lovely, as is the woman on whom it appears.
Kudos! You DO have support, from this stranger and many others.
4
Um, yeah, the body size movement is not doing so well. Even more "fat" prejudice than "gray"!
1
"Your hair looks like a wig," is justifiable homicide!
27
He sounds passive aggressive.
6
There was a family tragedy of sorts when blue haired great grand aunt picked up a tint for blondes by mistake. This on top of her blue came out green.
11
then she's right in style.
2
I am 50, have silver hair, and have had silver hair for 20 years...i get complimented weekly by strangers about the color and style of my hair (i wear my hear short and cut it myself)...my husband shakes his head and comments that his first wife spent hundreds of dollars each month to get her hair cut, styled and colored and never got a compliment... it is a personal choice and no one should be discouraged if that is where they choose to spend their money... but I agree that we are told by the advertisement society that we are not good enough unless we spend lots of money to change the way we naturally look... no need to participate in that game... :)
35
I so envy you for being able to cut your own hair. I went gray/silver early, and have never colored my hair. I always knew I wouldn't, even though my mom still does (at 86). I don't wear makeup, either, and the few times I've tried to wear it I just didn't feel like "me." I have curly/wavy hair, shoulder length, and as I get older I often think about the ease of wearing it very, very short. But going to the salon every 4 weeks to keep it that short sounds like a lot of maintenance (and money!). If I could cut it myself--problem solved. But I don't have the nerve!
How do you cut the back?!
How do you cut the back?!
4
Yes, please somebody post a good YouTube video on how to cut your own hair. I absolutely hate going to the salon. I've yet to find a hairdresser who "understands" my very natural hair. I know it looks dingy under their harsh florescent lighting and it feels coarse when its being washed, so they alway butcher my natural curls and strongly hint about the need for color. It's like they don't even try to give me a good haircut. And I always leave feeling the salon a little ashamed of my hair.
But when I'm outside in natural sunlight, my hair looks luminescent with lots of gold and silver - or I've been told as I often get compliments on it when I'm outside skiing or hiking. Colorists should really look at their client's hair in natural light before they start mixing up the chemicals.
But when I'm outside in natural sunlight, my hair looks luminescent with lots of gold and silver - or I've been told as I often get compliments on it when I'm outside skiing or hiking. Colorists should really look at their client's hair in natural light before they start mixing up the chemicals.
3
Last Sunday, I took my mother to a birthday party for one of her friends. Since she is 87, there were probably a few there who had gray hair. I didn't notice. Sometime between lunch and cake, in the mingling hour, one of them came up to me, shyly touched my hair, gray/white, simply styled, and told me how much she liked my hair and how brave I was to wear it like that.
Others joined her. I felt like a monkey in the zoo. Really? Brave? Wow! And then they got a wee bit defensive and began to justify why they couldn't possibly wear their own hair like that. And I could see why. They were all wearing tons of makeup, as much as the young women who were the daughters and grand daughters of the birthday girl who also streaked, dyed, and coiffed their own locks. It's what that particular tribe does and they clearly wanted to belong.
When I looked and lived like a hippy but shaved my legs and underarms I offended that tribe, sold out the cause they said. I clearly didn't want to belong to that tribe. I had just borrowed the costume and lifestyle.
Color your hair. Comb mud into it and braid it into a cone on top of your head. Punch holes into your face and use them to hook your tools into. Whatever. I wear my hair gray not because I'm brave, but because my hair is gray. It's not a statement of originality or defiance. I have other outlets for those impulses.
Others joined her. I felt like a monkey in the zoo. Really? Brave? Wow! And then they got a wee bit defensive and began to justify why they couldn't possibly wear their own hair like that. And I could see why. They were all wearing tons of makeup, as much as the young women who were the daughters and grand daughters of the birthday girl who also streaked, dyed, and coiffed their own locks. It's what that particular tribe does and they clearly wanted to belong.
When I looked and lived like a hippy but shaved my legs and underarms I offended that tribe, sold out the cause they said. I clearly didn't want to belong to that tribe. I had just borrowed the costume and lifestyle.
Color your hair. Comb mud into it and braid it into a cone on top of your head. Punch holes into your face and use them to hook your tools into. Whatever. I wear my hair gray not because I'm brave, but because my hair is gray. It's not a statement of originality or defiance. I have other outlets for those impulses.
105
I completely agree. I began coloring my hair in college. I started greying in my late 20's and kept up with the color for two decades ... so much work, so much money, so many variations on shade, tone, etc ... and lots of damage to my hair and scalp. a few years back, inspired by some beautiful women who own their natural greying hair, i decided to stop. during the transition it seemed women noticed more then men did. right now i am proud of my grey, white, silver, blonde, brown hair. it is naturally multi tonal. and so healthy and strong. and my hairdresser whole heartedly approves.
26
I let my hair go grey a few years ago, and was encouraged by friends to do so. But my particular grey made my face look washed out. Even the friends who encouraged grey agreed on the washed out look. Still, it is a bother to keep up with the color and at 80, who do I think I am kidding?
21
Not everyone's hair turns silver. I wish mine would. It has gotten coarser and duller. While I have a couple of nice gray streaks in the front that I like, I still do highlights and lowlights but have changed the blend to bring out the gray more brightly.
9
A yoga teacher commented during a class last year: "Are people still coloring their hair?" I'm 64 and yes, I use hair dye.
I thought it was so rude and judgmental; the antithesis of yoga. I still am trying to let go of that.
I thought it was so rude and judgmental; the antithesis of yoga. I still am trying to let go of that.
36
For pity's sake, there was nothing rude or judgmental about that. The teacher asked a question. Period.
4
I wish my hair would hurry up and go silver! At almost 72, it's sure taking it's sweet time! My mother had grey hair underneath at 19 and I don't ever remember her without at least "salt 'n pepper" hair, later a gorgeous silver. Her two sisters and their daughters all were prematurely grey but the daughters colored their hair. How did I miss out on all that glorious silver?
I look at my friends with their colored hair and it does NOT look natural no matter what they think. What a shame that our culture is so youth oriented that a woman - even an elderly woman - is expected to be the blonde she was at 20.
What little I have I certainly don't attempt to hide! I've EARNED those grey hairs!
I look at my friends with their colored hair and it does NOT look natural no matter what they think. What a shame that our culture is so youth oriented that a woman - even an elderly woman - is expected to be the blonde she was at 20.
What little I have I certainly don't attempt to hide! I've EARNED those grey hairs!
38
I am 60 and have gradually been turning grey since my 40's. I have never dyed my hair and I love the way my natural grey highlights look - soft and pretty. I look at many young women who streak their hair and think my natural streaks are so much nicer. On top of that, I see many women my age who dye their hair and they look like their hair is dyed, plus those grey roots that always seem to show is not attractive. Full disclosure my great grandmother had the most beautiful long white hair that as a child I always admired. I hope to take after her and live to 100 and have long white hair some day.
39
I've been coloring my hair since I was in my 30's. I am a bit offended by the superior attitude of women who chose not to. For whatever the reason, it's a woman's choice. I do not to judge women with white or gray hair, please do not judge me for my choice to dye.
89
I don't color my gray hair because it is a nice color and I don't like coloring it. If it was not to my liking as is, I would color it. There is no judgment, at least not from me. I certainly don't feel superior to you or anyone especially based on hair color decisions. You should do what makes you happy and comfortable. Go in peace.
56
Right. Let's all just get along. The kids (us) are alright.
It's a worthy question, because women colour their hair much more often than men, meaning that it's got connotations of women equating worth to youth.
Feminism is mainly about equality, not freedom, and the response to choices shouldn't always be que sera, sera, although one should be sensitive to feelings and cultural pressures.
Feminism is mainly about equality, not freedom, and the response to choices shouldn't always be que sera, sera, although one should be sensitive to feelings and cultural pressures.
2
My mother's hair was silver, not grey, and she did not color it. She wore it very short, however, in a silver halo, highlighting her high cheekbones and beautiful eyes. She looked like a Roman goddess, albeit with short hair.
I don't look great in short hair, and so color my hair, which is very long, thick and curly. I'm in my sixties, but don't look my age, and I worry that letting my hair go grey will reveal my age and hurt my business. (These days, unless you're running for President, admitting to a potential employer or client that you are over 55 is like disclosing a felony conviction.) I keep going lighter as I get older, however, and aim someday - maybe in my 70s or 80s - to have long, silver hair.
For brunettes, the key to avoiding the "wig" look is to go lighter, with highlights, rather than trying to maintain your natural color.
I don't look great in short hair, and so color my hair, which is very long, thick and curly. I'm in my sixties, but don't look my age, and I worry that letting my hair go grey will reveal my age and hurt my business. (These days, unless you're running for President, admitting to a potential employer or client that you are over 55 is like disclosing a felony conviction.) I keep going lighter as I get older, however, and aim someday - maybe in my 70s or 80s - to have long, silver hair.
For brunettes, the key to avoiding the "wig" look is to go lighter, with highlights, rather than trying to maintain your natural color.
45
I'm unable to get sound on the video (a problem limited to the NYT site). I started coloring my hair recently because I don't look good with graying hair and more important, I face ageism and sexism in the job market.
Not every woman who dyes her hair is overly vain and in denial of her mortality. For some, it's a matter of survival. I truly wish things were different, but I've more than done my part for the cause.
Not every woman who dyes her hair is overly vain and in denial of her mortality. For some, it's a matter of survival. I truly wish things were different, but I've more than done my part for the cause.
3
Good for the lady in the OP-Doc. I had an aunt that went what they used to call "prematurely grey". Her hair always looked great. I am letting my own tresses turn grey as I age. I simply do not want the expense or hassle of coloring my hair every few weeks. When it gets grey enough I hope that I have the beautiful white/silver hair that my grandfather and aunt had. I may consider a way to enhance it at that time. In my opinion there is nothing worse than a home dye job that looks fake.
11
My mother was a confident woman who never dyed her hair. I grew up not at all confident but decided I'd never get into the hair dye trap. Too expensive, time consuming and never ending. At age 68, my hair is almost completely silver and I love it and love the freedom that comes with it!
29
Silver hair is beautiful. Lucky lady that she has that. And smart lady that she dumped that guy.
38
My silver hair is just coming in at 65.
Its O.K., I'm a guy so am still eligible as a romantic lead, as long as my co star is not too old, you know 24.
She better not have any grey.
Its O.K., I'm a guy so am still eligible as a romantic lead, as long as my co star is not too old, you know 24.
She better not have any grey.
6
Is this a joke? I think it's a big joke. At age 65 if you are dating 24 year olds, all I can say is eewwwww. D.O.M.
7
This is a very clever commentary on the way men and women are depicted in Hollywood movies.
As a woman whose confidence was shattered when an allergic reaction to hair dye after 25 years took the choice away. Control over the decision makes it an easier transition to silver. Hats and wigs were considered. But, it's okay now.
7
I have full gray hair since early 40's. I used to occasionally get low lights (opposite of high lights), which are slightly darker streaks in my hair. I had a very bad allergic reaction to not sure what. My doctor said no more hair coloring. C'est la vie.
2
You, too, look great. Keep on smiling!
1
I stopped coloring my hair years ago and have never regretted it. I love my silver streaks. My hair is waist long and thick and the silver streaks looks great, I can't wait until it's completely grey. I get a lot of compliments on it but I find the only people that question why I don't color my hair are women my own age (50's) who color their hair. They seem annoyed that I haven't become a slave to hair dye. I'm glad more women are letting their silver show, I think it looks great.
And I'm glad the woman in the video dumped her husband, he sounds like a real jerk!
And I'm glad the woman in the video dumped her husband, he sounds like a real jerk!
54
My mother and her mother had white hair at an early age. My grandmother left hers that way until she moved to Florida and from then on she had it tinted blue. When she didn't it would turn yellowish from perspiration.
My mother had once had Auburn hair and she continued to keep it that way for many years. It was a real job because she had very long hair, almost four feet long. Now though she just leaves it alone but it's still very long.
my wife had beautiful long red hair. She hated it because it was curly and she cut it short after we married. She died it for years (L'Oreal 7LA) for years but she finally stopped a few years ago.
My mix of Lt. Brown and Blonde finally started going about 10 years ago but is still very much Lt. brown. My eye brows and arms are blonde. Like the rest of the men in the family there is no baldness.
Why do women feel the need to dye their hair and men don't?
My mother had once had Auburn hair and she continued to keep it that way for many years. It was a real job because she had very long hair, almost four feet long. Now though she just leaves it alone but it's still very long.
my wife had beautiful long red hair. She hated it because it was curly and she cut it short after we married. She died it for years (L'Oreal 7LA) for years but she finally stopped a few years ago.
My mix of Lt. Brown and Blonde finally started going about 10 years ago but is still very much Lt. brown. My eye brows and arms are blonde. Like the rest of the men in the family there is no baldness.
Why do women feel the need to dye their hair and men don't?
4
I think some men dye their hair but usually only their hairdressers know for sure.
11
Au contraire -- I have seen bad dye jobs on men. Really bad dye jobs.
9
I am of the age (nearly 60) when every woman's hair is grey (or silver) and yet so few of my contemporaries don't dye their hair. I don't dye and don't want to (don't want to be tied to having to do it on a regular basis) but I often feel insecure because my hair is grey and I'm the only woman in the room like that (men are freer to let their natural hair situations occur). I wish we women could all just accept our natural appearances better at any age without feeling that we have to work on ourselves so much. Life is hard enough.
71
You are also going to be the most noticeable woman in the room, so walk in with your head held high, confidently, and knock them out with your charm. They won't know what hit them :)
5
I think there might be a difference between grey-silver and white.
Speaking for myself, not a woman, but a 63 year old male, a grey beard makes one look "distinguished". A white beard makes one look old (is that also "distinguished"?)
To quote author Fran Lebowitz: "You are only as good as your last haircut". Or to paraphrase the speech of Polonius in Shakespeare: "For the hair (instead of apparel) oft proclaims the man (or woman).
Color or not as one sees fit.
Speaking for myself, not a woman, but a 63 year old male, a grey beard makes one look "distinguished". A white beard makes one look old (is that also "distinguished"?)
To quote author Fran Lebowitz: "You are only as good as your last haircut". Or to paraphrase the speech of Polonius in Shakespeare: "For the hair (instead of apparel) oft proclaims the man (or woman).
Color or not as one sees fit.
21
Another guy speaks. It is much less expensive just to leave your hair white, and you are in and out of the shop in about 10 minutes. I am cheap and have better things to do with my time and money. Actually I am happy still to have a full head of hair of any color. I hate hats, and that hair keeps my head warm in winter.
4
Almost immediately my self confidence sky rocketed. It's impossible for me to describe how letting my hair go grey directly enabled me to blossom into the outgoing and confident person I am today.
I get endless compliments on my hair and I have been told repeatedly that it is not grey but silver. Men love it and have nicknamed me "Silver Fox". Yet, most telling of all, is the astoundedly large number of women who ask me, quizzically "how did you have the guts?"