Does this obvious loser of a candidate merit a full article that adds absolutely nothing as far as I can tell to the already known and predictable. It would have been a much better use of precious space in the op-ed pages to write something substantial about Bernie Sanders perhaps, what do you think of that idea Ms. Collins?
24
And black rimmed eyeglasses they thought to be the sign of know it all and that did not work, oops.
So one gone and too many left.
I can`t wait to see the tête-à-tête fetween Carly Fiorina and Donald Trump are they going to make up in the debate ?
So one gone and too many left.
I can`t wait to see the tête-à-tête fetween Carly Fiorina and Donald Trump are they going to make up in the debate ?
17
Oh well, the GOP Clown Car (TM) is indeed crowded to the point that some have to ride on the roof. One less pair of big floppy shoes to carry in the trunk. So long Oops, it's been good to know ye ...
(Poor Seamus Romney. 'Didn't live to see his legacy.)
(Poor Seamus Romney. 'Didn't live to see his legacy.)
13
I'm not at all a fan of Perry, but it's interesting to note that in his speech announcing his exit from the race, he excoriated Republicans for their nativism, and anti-Hispanic racism.
Having grown up in Texas in the 1980's as the son of Latino immigrants, I've always been struck by how the flare-ups of nativism and anti-immigrant rhetoric that would pop up from time to time in different regions of the country never really took place in Texas. There's a lot that could work better about Texas, but one of the things to admire about the state is that there were no major tensions or hostilities between its majority population, its substantial Hispanic minority, and the reality that, as a border state, the presence of Latino immigrants was a given. There was a cultural balance wherein Texas accepted the Mexican population and influence into its culture, and in fact, celebrated it.
Perry may have tried to bring a bit of this outlook into his 2012 bid, but obviously he crashed and burned. It's too bad. With the GOP reveling in xenophobia, a friendlier and more humane approach toward immigration and Latinos would serve the party and the country better (and you're fooling yourself if you don't think the anti-immigrant fervor isn't tied to anti-Hispanic racism).
Having grown up in Texas in the 1980's as the son of Latino immigrants, I've always been struck by how the flare-ups of nativism and anti-immigrant rhetoric that would pop up from time to time in different regions of the country never really took place in Texas. There's a lot that could work better about Texas, but one of the things to admire about the state is that there were no major tensions or hostilities between its majority population, its substantial Hispanic minority, and the reality that, as a border state, the presence of Latino immigrants was a given. There was a cultural balance wherein Texas accepted the Mexican population and influence into its culture, and in fact, celebrated it.
Perry may have tried to bring a bit of this outlook into his 2012 bid, but obviously he crashed and burned. It's too bad. With the GOP reveling in xenophobia, a friendlier and more humane approach toward immigration and Latinos would serve the party and the country better (and you're fooling yourself if you don't think the anti-immigrant fervor isn't tied to anti-Hispanic racism).
19
Perry while as terrible as you describe him he was not the worst.
He was not as buffoonish as Trump to propose building a 1,954 mile long wall along the border with Mexico or a 5,525 mile along the border with Canada, as Walker proposed out-buffooning all of them.
He was not as buffoonish as Trump to propose building a 1,954 mile long wall along the border with Mexico or a 5,525 mile along the border with Canada, as Walker proposed out-buffooning all of them.
14
Thanks for coming back! Us'ins out here in the hinterlands have been missing your delightful column. Keep 'em coming and we'll keep laughing!
9
Looks like you came back just in the nick of time, Gail. (And so glad to have you back. Thursdays and Saturdays just haven't been the same . . . )
21
'What a weird year."
The Times might do its readers the courtesy of notifying us formally that you've given up even trying to deliver meaningful political commentary. We don't really need to be told the obvious, but some of us still look to the paper for gravitas.
The Times might do its readers the courtesy of notifying us formally that you've given up even trying to deliver meaningful political commentary. We don't really need to be told the obvious, but some of us still look to the paper for gravitas.
4
"... he was wandering like a Labrador retriever being pulled around by a helium balloon attached to his collar." Welcome back Ms. Collins -- I missed you too.
22
You just touched on Jindals record. Please elaborate. Inquiring minds want to know.
15
Has anyone mentioned that under the original Constitution, Senators were elected just as Perry suggests - by the members of state legislatures. It was not until the Seventeenth Amendment, adopted in 1913, that Senators became elected by popular vote. So leaving the selection to state legislators was dumb and ultimately rejected then, and fat chance that the public would today cede that power back to the state legislatures. I wonder if Perry knows his idea is both unoriginal and rejected by the voters. Did you know, Gail? I would have expected you to mention it.
11
Mr. Perry bites the dust, too bad the rest of the GOP field cannot do the same because with the possible exception of Kasich, there is no there there.
9
Thank goodness you are back Gail!!!! I was about to lose my sense of humor over this whole 2106 Presidential election. The sun has come out, and I can smile again.
11
Glad you are back!
'Wandering around like a Labrador with a helium balloon tied to its collar'. LOL!
'Wandering around like a Labrador with a helium balloon tied to its collar'. LOL!
13
Okay, forget for a moment the visual of the Labrador retriever strapped to a car roof with a helium ballon attached to its collar. But think of the racket that thing could make zooming through the Lincoln Tunnel -- like a gymnasium full of kindergarteners who'd just discovered "Romper Room" punch balls.
7
And let's not forget that earlier this year the MSM was describing this guy as the sane one in the race.
He the governor who spoke of seceding from the union and putting the Federal Reserve chairman on trial for treason.
He the governor who spoke of seceding from the union and putting the Federal Reserve chairman on trial for treason.
14
In a few months he can put the sign back up at his Texas retreat.
10
The weiderst since I can remember and that goes back to ike and adali.
6
Let's see, Perry created the subterranean oil tank that is west Texas, from which jobs now flee as the price of a barrel of crude approaches the price of a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Speaking of which, west Texas has a county clerk still refusing marriage licenses to sinners who share the same sexual organs, this with Perry's wholehearted approval and the approval of a current governor no less boneheaded than Rick. And now Rick is no longer seeking employment, meaning he no longer is counted among the unemployed, thus improving the jobless rate here in Texas. I guess we can count that as a positive statewide outcome from his decision to quit. Rick has gotten older but, new glasses or no, he hasn't gotten any wiser.
21
For all those of a certain age whose memory is reasonably intact - does this whole circus make you, too, long for the days of the smoke-filled rooms?
59
It's unfortunate that the governor of the state that is responsible for ~33% of all job growth for the nation over the last 8 years is so quickly tossed away. Meantime, I look forward to Ms. Collins' meme on Hillary Clinton's Waterloo.
2
The really scary thing is : how did he get as far as he did? HOW in God's name did he function as gov of Texas. It's also frightening to think people actually would vote for Cruz, Huckabee, Paul and most of the other weirdos that are "conservative" republicans... What happened to people like Dole? Christie Whitman?? You know Normal people with reasonable platforms Real Republicans!!
16
News of his dropping out of the race for the Republican nominee for President actually caught me by surprise. I forgot he was even running.
5
The "booming" Texas economy is more directly attributable to 20+ years of SXSW hype, & ridiculous cost of living in CA/NY than anything Rick Pray for Rain Perry ever did. Well, excepting tax breaks. Giving tax breaks to big companies, and shifting the burden to homeowners, definitely accelerated development. Perry didn't "step" aside.... he finally got "shoved" aside.
5
I put him in the top quartile in terms of thoughtfulness and seriousness of purpose. He has the aura of someone you trust to make difficult decisions and keep you safe.
Rick Perry reminds me of my dad and that's a comforting thing.
Rick Perry reminds me of my dad and that's a comforting thing.
1
Honestly, I don't know how I'd survive without Gail Collins.
10
In my lifetime, the Republican Party has put up White House candidates who couldn't spell (Quayle), couldn't count to three (Perry), and Sarah Palin.
What an outfit.
What an outfit.
23
Thanks again, Ms. C., for adding humor to the race. My guess is that your hard working fact checkers find some of the most entertaining items!
Although the race is currently "sad", your humor nudges it toward "happy".
Thanks, again.
Although the race is currently "sad", your humor nudges it toward "happy".
Thanks, again.
6
If you count the tens of millions in public funds to heavily subsidize "job growth" -- not exactly conservative principles -- then you can claim credit for it, but meanwhile, back at the ranch, we remain very low in many socioeconomic indicators. Was this a real record to run on?
53
I had a dream last night, a nightmare really, in which "Seamus" (Romney's hapless Irish Setter that he cruelly strapped to his car top on a thousand-mile vacation trip to Canada, for those of you who do not regularly follow Ms. Collins' column) was scratching at my front door in a frenzy. I let the panicked animal in, and he immediately turned around, and, like a true pointer, stretched his entire body as straight as an arrow aiming at an old, gas-guzzling, vintage station wagon parked in my driveway. The car had a "Mitt in 2016 - the Third Time's the Charm!" bumper stick plastered on its rear end, and a large, weather-beaten pet carrier strapped to its roof, its open door flapping in the wind. In the distance, I could see a man dressed in a business suit trying to get my garden hose to stretch in the direction of the station wagon, pulling on it like, well, he might yank on a leash of a recalcitrant dog. Seamus looked up at me with a plaintiff expression more eloquent than words that seemed to say, "Don't let this guy do to the country what he's done to me!" I woke up, sat bolt-upright, as wet with sweat as if I had been given a shower with that garden hose in my dream. Was this only a nightmare? Or has the menagerie of GOP stalking horses now extant merely set the stage for The Man who once said that he had no use for 47% of America's population? I couldn't go back to sleep.
10
Of course, we could perhaps miss Governor Perry even more if the remaining indictment of misuse of office sticks. Isn't it interesting how we care more about a particular gaffe on TV than we care about actual criminal charges that could lead to jail time? And isn't it interesting that none of the other candidates in the race, from either party, care to bring this up?
13
I am delighted you are back, Gail--YYAAYY and double YYAAYY!! Your skillful, and especially humorous, manner of putting the bizzare Republican presidential candidates in proper perspective is welcome as always, and thank you many times for your energy and persistence in doing this! Vic Hurst
7
I thought he had left the room long ago. Oops...
7
Rick Perry notwithstanding. The fact that any of these challenged cheaper-by-the-dozen GOP candidates could even begin to believe they are presidential material (except perhaps John Kasich) demonstrates the scary depth of reality blindness that has consumed the entire party. It used to not be that way. And to emphasize that maddening befuddling point upon his leave taking Perry concluded out loud that he's leaving the party in good hands. Ekkkkkk
11
Hi, Gail.
I've read some of your stuff and enjoyed it. But this is terrible.
Do you really need a column to make fun of people, without moving the conversation forward?
"Rick Perry hates Donald Trump." Who cares? Is this news or even an opinion?
And the comment threads don't seem to have one diverse thought out of the 280 posts. How does that move the conversation forward?
-Tim
I've read some of your stuff and enjoyed it. But this is terrible.
Do you really need a column to make fun of people, without moving the conversation forward?
"Rick Perry hates Donald Trump." Who cares? Is this news or even an opinion?
And the comment threads don't seem to have one diverse thought out of the 280 posts. How does that move the conversation forward?
-Tim
1
He was a horrible governor and would have made an even worse president. People outside Texas who think his tenure means he was popular here may not know that in order to be elected governor you only the majority of the votes, not more than 50 percent. Gerrymandering and non-Republicans thinking that their votes don't matter so why bother were the main reasons he stayed in office so long.
16
At least he didn't name his boots after his hunting cabin. Great column.
8
The best-tasting schadenfreude in Perry's departure is that it was his rich cronies who effectively did him in by refusing (Texas polite-like, I'm sure) to put another dime into his campaign. That had to hurt, for as Trump's 'success' indicates, any idiot with the cash can run for president. And therein lies the secret to a huge part of Trump's success -- he doesn't need the Koch Bros. to keep on keeping on and he is unburdened by the need to accept the advice and control that comes with their cash.
8
My money is on Graham next.
5
Thanks, this made my morning.
5
I am not a Gail Collins fan, but the line, "By the end Perry had no staff, and he was wandering like a Labrador retriever being pulled around by a helium balloon attached to his collar," had me snorting in my coffee. That's a line almost worthy of Matt Taibbi. You go Gail!
32
"By the end Perry had no staff, and he was wandering like a Labrador retriever being pulled around by a helium balloon attached to his collar."
A line as surprisingly delicious as Christmas turkey in September. Welcome home, Ms. Collins. We have missed you. Your columns are fun and nutritious in this "weird year".
A line as surprisingly delicious as Christmas turkey in September. Welcome home, Ms. Collins. We have missed you. Your columns are fun and nutritious in this "weird year".
51
Oh, the shame and disappointment: "We will never again hear him explain why he thinks it would be an excellent idea to eliminate the popular election of U.S. senators..."
I can answer this one. Perry and the tea party crowd think we have too much democracy and need to cut back on it. They worship "the founders" as if they were drawn from the original disciples of Jesus. Indeed, some claim, without embarrassment, that the Constitution was, in fact, divinely inspired. (How would they know?)
The stark truth about our national founding, not taught in public schools, is that we started with a hobbled democracy. Only the House of Representatives was to be directly elected by the people. Some of the hesitation to embrace any direct power of the people was based on fear of "the rabble" and some was just a practical matter of communications, transportation and education (lacking, in every regard, at our founding). Over the last 230+ years, we have moved to enhance democracy, step by step, even while many, including southern politicians in the era of Jim Crow and, even now, seek to discourage and limit participation. The battle rages on.
Perry was a small time politician with equally small ideas, constricted on every side by the need to conform to hidebound ideology. He most likely should never have risen above being a county commissioner in far west Texas. His statement that he leaves the race to the greatest field of candidates in our history is sad and laughable.
I can answer this one. Perry and the tea party crowd think we have too much democracy and need to cut back on it. They worship "the founders" as if they were drawn from the original disciples of Jesus. Indeed, some claim, without embarrassment, that the Constitution was, in fact, divinely inspired. (How would they know?)
The stark truth about our national founding, not taught in public schools, is that we started with a hobbled democracy. Only the House of Representatives was to be directly elected by the people. Some of the hesitation to embrace any direct power of the people was based on fear of "the rabble" and some was just a practical matter of communications, transportation and education (lacking, in every regard, at our founding). Over the last 230+ years, we have moved to enhance democracy, step by step, even while many, including southern politicians in the era of Jim Crow and, even now, seek to discourage and limit participation. The battle rages on.
Perry was a small time politician with equally small ideas, constricted on every side by the need to conform to hidebound ideology. He most likely should never have risen above being a county commissioner in far west Texas. His statement that he leaves the race to the greatest field of candidates in our history is sad and laughable.
28
You are correct. The Mexicans win. They invade our country by the millions and we do nothing about it. Remember the Alamo.
1
Okay, okay, miss smarty pants I want you to 'splain how a Rick Perry can come from the same political genes as Ann Richards - God I loved that woman; she could tell you to go do something in your hat and do it in the sweetest way.
9
Oh, don't be so down-hearted. He'll do what all his fellow candidates will do: lay low and play golf for four years, then run for President again on a platform decrying how lazy the poor are.
19
What if another couple of the not-going-to-win-anyway Republican candidates drop out in the next couple days and there are only two candidates left at the Kids Table Debate? Does that mean there would actually be a Debate debate?
And speaking of debates--will we see this week whether the moderators can make themselves more of an issue than any other moderators of the past?
And speaking of debates--will we see this week whether the moderators can make themselves more of an issue than any other moderators of the past?
4
In that case, I say forget the Alamo.
2
Why no mention of a dog being strapped to the roof of Rick Perry's car?
3
Does Vegas have a line on the order of candidates dropping out? This suddenly sounds like a terrific new pool idea for families and offices. As a bonus, pick the VP and who is signed up first for a FOX broadcast spot. Whaddya think?
19
Lets understand something about virtually every candidate in the Republican field: They are not conservatives rather they are radical reactionaries
57
It appears the macho posturing & boots didn't help with donors & polling. And he did contribute mightily to his own, er, butt kicking. To paraphrase Walter Mondale, Where's the boot?
17
I've sure missed you, as have so many others.
Been ruminating about Attila the Hun, who apparently was quite smart, which puts him above the whole Republican field and especially those making excuses for Trump. We want the barbarians it seems ... like those fools in the Roman circuses.
That marriage woman getting her kicks by ignoring Jesus's teachings, while Huckabee tries to climb on board on her grotesque coattails ...
It seems dishonesty and selfishness have climbed to the top of the charts.
sigh ...
Been ruminating about Attila the Hun, who apparently was quite smart, which puts him above the whole Republican field and especially those making excuses for Trump. We want the barbarians it seems ... like those fools in the Roman circuses.
That marriage woman getting her kicks by ignoring Jesus's teachings, while Huckabee tries to climb on board on her grotesque coattails ...
It seems dishonesty and selfishness have climbed to the top of the charts.
sigh ...
52
Why, in the midst of all the hoopla about Mr Perry, isn't a single mention made of the fact he is currently under indictment??
Welcome back, Gail.
Welcome back, Gail.
68
Not everything is funny, young lady. Show a little heart sometimes.
Tom
Tom
4
I'm sure Gov. Perry will be well taken care of on the speaker's circuit. And can a Fox News position be in the mix?
23
You must be new here.
8
True, not everything is funny. But know-nothing buffoons running for president has to be one of the things that is, otherwise the country is in far worse trouble than even they think.
2
Just in the nick of time! We should all be celebrating this week's return of both Gail Collins and Stephen Colbert to the public forum, tanned, rested and ready to make sense--and fun--of the three-ring circus otherwise known as Campaign 2016. Perhaps now there is hope again for sanity in America...
63
Despite the trendy, cool glasses, I have trouble accepting/believing men who wear French cuff shirts on a daily basis. Too much trouble for me, but wait a minute, he probably had a valet.
22
And his valet was probably a Department of Public Service officer from his security detail paid for by the citizens of Texas.
The abstinence thing is pure Reagan. If you are a decent person, you won't get AIDS like some of the Reagans best friends. If you are early to bed and early to rise, you will say "no" to drugs being imported into the country by Reagan's contra initiatives. Or if you are born black in America (this one not exactly Reagan's fault) you should get out of the ghetto created by unemployment by getting a job there even though there are no jobs there but at least you have bootstraps, says Reagan.
I mean, really, if you cannot see Reagan up there forgetting about the Dept. of Energy then you haven't heard Colin Powell's story about Reagan's squirrel.
I mean, really, if you cannot see Reagan up there forgetting about the Dept. of Energy then you haven't heard Colin Powell's story about Reagan's squirrel.
46
'But at least you have bootstraps, says Reagan.'
Try this little experiment. Do you have a pair of boots? with straps? Good. The name of the boots, if any, is not important. Just boots, with straps.
Put them on. Bend down, grab the straps and try pulling yourself up with them. As hard as you can.
George Orwell would love the expression 'pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps'. In his classic essay 'Politics and the English Language,' he took special aim at metaphors that had lost all meaning; and here is something even better, a metaphor that never had any coherent meaning to speak of. As the Bard said, 'O wonderful, wonderful, and most wonderful, wonderful! And yet again wonderful, and after that, out of all hooping!'
;}
Try this little experiment. Do you have a pair of boots? with straps? Good. The name of the boots, if any, is not important. Just boots, with straps.
Put them on. Bend down, grab the straps and try pulling yourself up with them. As hard as you can.
George Orwell would love the expression 'pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps'. In his classic essay 'Politics and the English Language,' he took special aim at metaphors that had lost all meaning; and here is something even better, a metaphor that never had any coherent meaning to speak of. As the Bard said, 'O wonderful, wonderful, and most wonderful, wonderful! And yet again wonderful, and after that, out of all hooping!'
;}
1
When you look at a failing state (KS, WI, NJ, LA, to name a few) and wonder why it is doing so poorly, the answer is amost always the governor.
www.endthemadnessnow.org
www.endthemadnessnow.org
30
Yes. We have that going for us in NM....filling many of those ' Last in the Nation Stats'
No with Rick "unemployed" as a candidate - - the secession of the Republic of Texas can only be days away!
Though not a Republican: Good luck Gov. Perry in all you do in future, sir! SF
Though not a Republican: Good luck Gov. Perry in all you do in future, sir! SF
4
wishful thinking ... ?
4
One less dope can't be a bad thing. Who's next? Rick Santorum, Mike Huckabee, Carly Fiorina--take your pick. Why not the lot of them. None is fit to lead the country.
51
I blame the glasses.
Every time I saw them I thought: There goes Rick Perry trying to make us forget he couldn't count to three.
Every time I saw them I thought: There goes Rick Perry trying to make us forget he couldn't count to three.
41
Welcome back, Gail! I have missed you. My days will be better knowing you are back keeping us informed of the absurdities that are the political parties of our country.
26
What this means Ms. Collins is that Governor "Haircut" will now return to Texas where he will no doubt continue to talk of secession, pander to the strong under current of racism that is just below the surface of Texas politics, be the fog horn for the views of the extreme right wing rich, make war on women's reproductive rights, and reduce the wild life population with pistol fire. And you thought his dropping out of presidential politics was a good thing!
36
Sorry, Ms. Collins, but your last sentence of 'What a weird year' is the understatement of this century, if not even the last one as well.
10
It's kind of funny. I always thought Rick Perry was a lightweight, long before his "oops", two-out-of-three agencies ain't bad, moment. By comparison, Perry's predecessor George Dubya' seemed brilliant.
But no matter. What is absolutely more ridiculous is that looking at this current crop of 2016 presidential aspirants riding in the GOP clown car, Rick Perry did not seem too bad. This time around, Rick actually appeared halfway coherent and sane. Don't worry, I'm wasn't fooled by the glasses. It's just that with The Donald riding on top of the current herd, along with candidates lacking any governmental experience, and that is being looked upon with cheering admiration by rank and file Republicans, it begs incredulity.
Are these guys and gal serious? Really? With more insults flying around the room than a Friars Club Roast, one could surmise the entire GOP lineup mere cannon fodder for The Donald's insulting "You're so ugly, ..." one-liners.
What gives GOP? You seem hellbent on sabotaging your chances at winning the White House before the actual race has begun. As a liberal Democrat I'm amused and love the show, but seriously folks, as Bob Hope used to say (Bob Who?), are you guys for real?!
Can't wait for the next debate. America awaits with baited breath: What will The Donald say next?
DD
Manhattan
But no matter. What is absolutely more ridiculous is that looking at this current crop of 2016 presidential aspirants riding in the GOP clown car, Rick Perry did not seem too bad. This time around, Rick actually appeared halfway coherent and sane. Don't worry, I'm wasn't fooled by the glasses. It's just that with The Donald riding on top of the current herd, along with candidates lacking any governmental experience, and that is being looked upon with cheering admiration by rank and file Republicans, it begs incredulity.
Are these guys and gal serious? Really? With more insults flying around the room than a Friars Club Roast, one could surmise the entire GOP lineup mere cannon fodder for The Donald's insulting "You're so ugly, ..." one-liners.
What gives GOP? You seem hellbent on sabotaging your chances at winning the White House before the actual race has begun. As a liberal Democrat I'm amused and love the show, but seriously folks, as Bob Hope used to say (Bob Who?), are you guys for real?!
Can't wait for the next debate. America awaits with baited breath: What will The Donald say next?
DD
Manhattan
95
*bated breath.
Sorry, can't help myself.
Sorry, can't help myself.
1
"Oops ..." ate him. But long before that happened it was patently obvious that he had nothing intelligent to say. His governorship was described by many as a train-wreck long before he paraded his presidential aspirations. And the simple fact is no state's governors have ever been elected president repeatedly and consecutively except Virginia's during the earliest phase of the republic.
Open Letter To Rick Perry:
Dear Rick,
Dang it, I hate you're leaving. Why Huckabee and Cruz are dumber than you by a mile. And you have the best hair including Trump's and Carly's coifs.
Saw in the New York Times where you'd written a book. Nobody told me about it. Bet it's a good one and probably oughta be in every classroom.
Let's get together soon and figure out some way to spend all that PAC money you got stashed. Maybe we could get something going on that secession idea you had. You haven't forgotten that have you ?
Thanks for everything, pardner. Things won't be the same without you.
Your Friend
A disappointed voter.
Dear Rick,
Dang it, I hate you're leaving. Why Huckabee and Cruz are dumber than you by a mile. And you have the best hair including Trump's and Carly's coifs.
Saw in the New York Times where you'd written a book. Nobody told me about it. Bet it's a good one and probably oughta be in every classroom.
Let's get together soon and figure out some way to spend all that PAC money you got stashed. Maybe we could get something going on that secession idea you had. You haven't forgotten that have you ?
Thanks for everything, pardner. Things won't be the same without you.
Your Friend
A disappointed voter.
17
Now, if can only get a couple more of those Texas candidates to drop out. And, yes, I'm including John (calll me Jebby) Bush in that duo.
25
I'd like to point out that Rick Perry is one of the luckiest politicians alive:
1) Started as a Democrat and switched during the Reagan years along with every other opportunistic pol in this state.
2) Was appointed governor after G.W. Bush left to run the country into the dirt.
3) Won an election with a plurality in a race that included a country western musician/comedian and an unpopular blowhard former mayor of Austin--
4) Presided over the beginnings of the fracking boom, which has been great for jobs-- and has turned some parts of the state into an industrial wasteland.
which is not to say that the man doesn't possess a kind of wily and predatory deviousness. . . also he is can be counted on to pander to the large percentage of citizens in this state that REALLY would like to return to the 19th century (in every way) ASAP.
Now let's turn our attention to Cruz who is far more intelligent and WAY more scary.
1) Started as a Democrat and switched during the Reagan years along with every other opportunistic pol in this state.
2) Was appointed governor after G.W. Bush left to run the country into the dirt.
3) Won an election with a plurality in a race that included a country western musician/comedian and an unpopular blowhard former mayor of Austin--
4) Presided over the beginnings of the fracking boom, which has been great for jobs-- and has turned some parts of the state into an industrial wasteland.
which is not to say that the man doesn't possess a kind of wily and predatory deviousness. . . also he is can be counted on to pander to the large percentage of citizens in this state that REALLY would like to return to the 19th century (in every way) ASAP.
Now let's turn our attention to Cruz who is far more intelligent and WAY more scary.
52
The glasses didn't work, but had he gone with a bow-tie, well, maybe.
16
Please allow me to speak for millions of Texans:
Hip, Hip, Hooray! Thank you, Jesus! Yowzah! Woop, woop, and praise be the Lord! And may we never see the likes of him and Bush again!
Oh, wait . . . we do still have Greg Abbott and Dan Patrick.
I guess you just can't have it all.
Hip, Hip, Hooray! Thank you, Jesus! Yowzah! Woop, woop, and praise be the Lord! And may we never see the likes of him and Bush again!
Oh, wait . . . we do still have Greg Abbott and Dan Patrick.
I guess you just can't have it all.
33
Rick Perry's departure halts a trend of considering and even possibly electing mediocre students who were once cheerleaders. For awhile, it looked as if Scott Walker might have broadened that potential field by adding "who were excellent boy scouts", but it looks like he's been bested by a man claiming to have gone to the best university in the history of the world, who refuses to release the records he demanded from President Obama.
22
The clown parade just got smaller because Perry was not clownish enough. His hair was not yellow and combed funny. His mouth was not aways hanging open. His voice was not shrill enough. His antics not laughfable enough. Straight people, no matter how "conservative" they claim to be cannot survive as a clown. Only clowns can. Perry is straight laced even if he is a little touched in the head by Texas Tea.
However, he is a leader in one respect. He headed for the exits before the clowns all change their costumes and become the rogue elephants that may well destroy their tent before the big show.
We need a new travelling minstrel show. One with some substance. One that is a real show, not a clown show. Maybe the donkey show will be better. It won't take much.
However, he is a leader in one respect. He headed for the exits before the clowns all change their costumes and become the rogue elephants that may well destroy their tent before the big show.
We need a new travelling minstrel show. One with some substance. One that is a real show, not a clown show. Maybe the donkey show will be better. It won't take much.
17
Ideology aside, the simple fact is that Rick Perry is not presidential timber, nor even a sapling. Beyond the simple requirements to run, we have no formal standards for eligibility but should. For example, broad knowledge of domestic and foreign affairs, extraordinary work habits, discernment beyond black and white in decision making and some ethos of noblesse oblige. Sadly, cynicism owing to an electorate of largely uninformed voters, has erased all values beyond winning. It is not a job for just anyone but for a person of unusual talent and resiliency. Democrat or Republican comes after that.
132
Gov. Rick Perry met "his Alamo" during the last GOP presidential primary, it just took a month or so of this one to dispel lingering delusions to the contrary...
9
Gail, you have some competition in the comment section --- thanks guys and gals, I needed a few good laughs!
12
Weird year indeed. It's worth recalling that Governor Perry has been, by comparison, one of the saner candidates in the Republican field.
Wow.
Wow.
11
Yes, "what a weird year." And it's only going to get weirder amd weirder.
One what's weird is in your own column, Gail....not getting what Perry meant by abstinence in his own personal life. Maybe the libs should try a little abstaining once in a while. You know, purify both the mind and the body.
And any plan on breaking up the good ol' guys and gals of the Senate is something I want to hear more about. The only way that will ever happen is to storm their Alamo.
One what's weird is in your own column, Gail....not getting what Perry meant by abstinence in his own personal life. Maybe the libs should try a little abstaining once in a while. You know, purify both the mind and the body.
And any plan on breaking up the good ol' guys and gals of the Senate is something I want to hear more about. The only way that will ever happen is to storm their Alamo.
1
Dear Gail---
There are not enough words to thank you for easing the extreme pain we feel after listening to complete and utter republican idiots blasting nonsense to the world! We really needed to laugh and did! Can you publish every day?
Where do these politicians come from? No Trump birther stories about Cruz yet but wait a minute--- Our president's mother was American --the nonsense is truly beyond understanding.
As an ashamed republican i ask you all to please support Hillary Clinton, the most qualified of anyone running or yet to run.
i stay registered only for Lincoln's memory---wonder how many
other voters do.
There are not enough words to thank you for easing the extreme pain we feel after listening to complete and utter republican idiots blasting nonsense to the world! We really needed to laugh and did! Can you publish every day?
Where do these politicians come from? No Trump birther stories about Cruz yet but wait a minute--- Our president's mother was American --the nonsense is truly beyond understanding.
As an ashamed republican i ask you all to please support Hillary Clinton, the most qualified of anyone running or yet to run.
i stay registered only for Lincoln's memory---wonder how many
other voters do.
13
"Meets his Alamo."
What a ridiculous reference! Do you know anything about what happened at the Alamo?
Ugh.
What a ridiculous reference! Do you know anything about what happened at the Alamo?
Ugh.
There's still plenty of time for another embarrassing idiot to proclaim his or her futile candidacy and fill Perry's vacated space in the clown car.
11
Unanswered questions: his candidacy is done, but will the glasses stay? Now that he doesn't have feign intellect, will he go back to cowboy?
And who will now inherit the Rick Perry wing of the GOP? There are 0.8% of the party that's now up for grabs.
And who will now inherit the Rick Perry wing of the GOP? There are 0.8% of the party that's now up for grabs.
12
Welcome back, Gail.
What I worry about is that Perry lost his core constituency among my fellow Texans when he got all uppity--what's with them glasses?--and veered from his good ol' boy roots. And what that says about that constituency.
What I worry about is that Perry lost his core constituency among my fellow Texans when he got all uppity--what's with them glasses?--and veered from his good ol' boy roots. And what that says about that constituency.
13
Rick Perry was in the race? I mean, who knew?
17
My Saturday mornings have had their genuine laugh restored. I missed you, Gail Collins! I hope you've been storing your energy and looking for the equivalent of the dog on the car roof for the upcoming circus! We couldn't make it through an election season without you!
18
how long will it take for field to narrow down to the two or three candidates worth listening to... Kasich, Trump, and whoever. If Clinton wins nomination, GOP will win election and probably will win the election no matter who the democrat is ... country is tired of gridlock and will take the chance the GOP in all 3 branches will at least pass legislation without the dramatics and endless lawsuits (ACA) we have today regardless if it is an innocuous or important issue. Maybe we will see an end to investigative committees that look into the same subject repeatedly and find no smoking gun.... they will be forced to address real problems and finally they will have the votes to take us to war again in the middle east. Lastly after two years of governing the public will find out they really don't like the direction (i.e Walker & WI good example) but are now stuck with an administration and executive that appealed to their most base instincts.
6
Aesop:
"The Frogs were living as happy as could be in a marshy swamp
that just suited them; they went splashing about caring for nobody
and nobody troubling with them. But some of them thought that
this was not right, that they should have a king and a proper
constitution, so they determined to send up a petition to Jove to
give them what they wanted. "Mighty Jove," they cried, "send unto
us a king that will rule over us and keep us in order." Jove
laughed at their croaking, and threw down into the swamp a huge
Log, which came downrplashto the swamp. The Frogs
were frightened out of their lives by the commotion made in their
midst, and all rushed to the bank to look at the horrible monster;
but after a time, seeing that it did not move, one or two of the
boldest of them ventured out towards the Log, and even dared to
touch it; still it did not move. Then the greatest hero of the
Frogs jumped upon the Log and commenced dancing up and down upon
it, thereupon all the Frogs came and did the same; and for some
time the Frogs went about their business every day without taking
the slightest notice of their new King Log lying in their midst.
But this did not suit them, so they sent another petition to Jove,
and said to him, "We want a real king; one that will really rule
over us." Now this made Jove angry, so he sent among them a big
Stork that soon set to work gobbling them all up. Then the Frogs
repented when too late.
"Better no rule than cruel rule."
"The Frogs were living as happy as could be in a marshy swamp
that just suited them; they went splashing about caring for nobody
and nobody troubling with them. But some of them thought that
this was not right, that they should have a king and a proper
constitution, so they determined to send up a petition to Jove to
give them what they wanted. "Mighty Jove," they cried, "send unto
us a king that will rule over us and keep us in order." Jove
laughed at their croaking, and threw down into the swamp a huge
Log, which came downrplashto the swamp. The Frogs
were frightened out of their lives by the commotion made in their
midst, and all rushed to the bank to look at the horrible monster;
but after a time, seeing that it did not move, one or two of the
boldest of them ventured out towards the Log, and even dared to
touch it; still it did not move. Then the greatest hero of the
Frogs jumped upon the Log and commenced dancing up and down upon
it, thereupon all the Frogs came and did the same; and for some
time the Frogs went about their business every day without taking
the slightest notice of their new King Log lying in their midst.
But this did not suit them, so they sent another petition to Jove,
and said to him, "We want a real king; one that will really rule
over us." Now this made Jove angry, so he sent among them a big
Stork that soon set to work gobbling them all up. Then the Frogs
repented when too late.
"Better no rule than cruel rule."
2
Kasich is currently 10th at 5%. He is a common core, illegal immigrant loving, establishment RINO. Trump!
Oh swell. With respect, imagine the kinds of bills the GOP would pass.
Gridlock is a lot better than what the GOP would do unimpeded.
Good lord. Listen to what they're saying. Then vote for the Democratic candidate.
Gridlock is a lot better than what the GOP would do unimpeded.
Good lord. Listen to what they're saying. Then vote for the Democratic candidate.
One down, fifteen to go. Or is it sixteen?
12
I can't help but wonder how much money is being spent in clearly lost political causes such as Perry for President. And how much good could be done with it. Kind of gives you a more visceral sense of the strength of the self-delusion and narcissism that is intrinsic to many politicians. That being said, the entertainment value of the Republican presidential primary circus has decreased considerably with the departure of Governor Oops.
97
Ms. Collins has a rich trove of material on the Democratic Party side of the equation - but focuses her attention on the Republicans, as if any dysfunction in government is exclusively the responsibility of the Republicans.
I did a quick Google search to see what Ms. Collins had written about Nancy Pelosi - one column on Ms. Pelosi was in 2010 and opened with "let us sing a song to the wonderfulness of Nancy Pelosi."
While recognizing that Nancy Pelosi is not a candidate for the nomination of the Democratic Party, the column is indicative of the fact that Ms. Collins has a significant lean in favor of the Democratic Party.
Most likely, the anointed Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton will be entitled to the same treatment from Ms. Collins - who will open a column soon about singing a song to the wonderfulness of Hillary Clinton too.
The double standard that characterizes the columns of Ms. Collins are disappointing. Equally disappointing is the fact that the editors never seem to say "Hey Gail, There's a comedy show on the other side of the divide, in the Democratic Camp. How about turning your wit to that? Too?"
The continuing failure of the NY Times to hold the Democratic Party (and its leaders) accountable is troublesome. The issue is the Political Class - which dominates both parties. The NY Times could be a valuable platform from which to articulate corrections to be undertaken by the Political Class.
I did a quick Google search to see what Ms. Collins had written about Nancy Pelosi - one column on Ms. Pelosi was in 2010 and opened with "let us sing a song to the wonderfulness of Nancy Pelosi."
While recognizing that Nancy Pelosi is not a candidate for the nomination of the Democratic Party, the column is indicative of the fact that Ms. Collins has a significant lean in favor of the Democratic Party.
Most likely, the anointed Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton will be entitled to the same treatment from Ms. Collins - who will open a column soon about singing a song to the wonderfulness of Hillary Clinton too.
The double standard that characterizes the columns of Ms. Collins are disappointing. Equally disappointing is the fact that the editors never seem to say "Hey Gail, There's a comedy show on the other side of the divide, in the Democratic Camp. How about turning your wit to that? Too?"
The continuing failure of the NY Times to hold the Democratic Party (and its leaders) accountable is troublesome. The issue is the Political Class - which dominates both parties. The NY Times could be a valuable platform from which to articulate corrections to be undertaken by the Political Class.
3
The NYTimes is already too busy Trumpeting about emails and studiously ignoring Sanders to do anything more for the neo-cons.
Will Mr. Santorum please meet Mr. Perry headed for the exit?
13
I missed you too Gail - where did you go? Glad you're back to give us perspective on this GOP circus!
As a Texan all too familiar with the real Ricky, I'm happy to see the back of him, but his far more dangerous sidekick needs to be flushed along with Trump.
If you can find anything funny in Senor Cruz, I'd be amazed
As a Texan all too familiar with the real Ricky, I'm happy to see the back of him, but his far more dangerous sidekick needs to be flushed along with Trump.
If you can find anything funny in Senor Cruz, I'd be amazed
16
Ms. Collins, we wondered if your fingers were just itching to get back to your column with this amazing (for want of a better word) Republican line-up. So much material, so little time.
Could you please speak to Gary Trudeau and convince him that we readers also really need him to get back to Doonesbury.
Could you please speak to Gary Trudeau and convince him that we readers also really need him to get back to Doonesbury.
15
Dear Ms. Collins,
Well it appears now Mr. Perry has the "freedom" and "liberty" to sashay anywhere he feels like; coyotes across the country beware!
I'm surprised he didn't blame "Operation Jade Helm" for his departure, you know, the military exercise in Texas that is Mr. Obama's clandestine "take over" of the state. I'm sure "disinformation" about Mr. Perry was one it's the efforts and it seems to have worked with Mr. Perry and his intellectual looking glasses riding off into the sunset (A little "Happy Trails to You" playing softly in the background).
But as a talent, isn't "getting money from rich acquaintances" an earmark of the entire GOP/TP/KOCH AFFILIATE bunch stumbling/running for president? Indeed, the NYT does a great job of telling us just how much money everyone has raised including the desperate Ms. Clinton and the "shucks, I'm just a good old socialist" Mr. Sanders.
Of course, there is ONE candidate who doesn't seem too concerned about raising a nickel, that's right, the "Hair That Talked Like a Man", Mr. Trump!
I'm guessing that even the nascent, but rising, reporting of his father at a KKK rally/fight won't budge his poll numbers (Unfortunately, it might even add to the numbers as Mr. Trump appeals to the basest among us).
Mr. Perry may be gone and certainly will be forgotten but the "intellectual void" he created will definitely be filled in the next few months with the other 50 or so Republican candidates rushing in with even more absurdities.
Well it appears now Mr. Perry has the "freedom" and "liberty" to sashay anywhere he feels like; coyotes across the country beware!
I'm surprised he didn't blame "Operation Jade Helm" for his departure, you know, the military exercise in Texas that is Mr. Obama's clandestine "take over" of the state. I'm sure "disinformation" about Mr. Perry was one it's the efforts and it seems to have worked with Mr. Perry and his intellectual looking glasses riding off into the sunset (A little "Happy Trails to You" playing softly in the background).
But as a talent, isn't "getting money from rich acquaintances" an earmark of the entire GOP/TP/KOCH AFFILIATE bunch stumbling/running for president? Indeed, the NYT does a great job of telling us just how much money everyone has raised including the desperate Ms. Clinton and the "shucks, I'm just a good old socialist" Mr. Sanders.
Of course, there is ONE candidate who doesn't seem too concerned about raising a nickel, that's right, the "Hair That Talked Like a Man", Mr. Trump!
I'm guessing that even the nascent, but rising, reporting of his father at a KKK rally/fight won't budge his poll numbers (Unfortunately, it might even add to the numbers as Mr. Trump appeals to the basest among us).
Mr. Perry may be gone and certainly will be forgotten but the "intellectual void" he created will definitely be filled in the next few months with the other 50 or so Republican candidates rushing in with even more absurdities.
11
Perry looked the part (the glasses helped) but there was no substance there. He was wrong on every major issue and had a bad habit of talking about seceding from the U.S. He is another republican who apparently lives in an ideological bubble with other republicans, usually rich and very conservative and largely unfamiliar with how normal Americans live. So good riddance. I hope we never hear from him again. Now if we can get rid of Cruz, Jindal, Paul, Graham, Fiorina and Trump, we can hear what the adults have to say.
12
don't forget Bush, he's the main person we have to see got rid of
If Rick Perry had had the political acumen of Sarah Palin, he would have written the three department names on his hand. He might have been running for re-election now instead of dropping out!
9
Good riddance. Let's say it again: The three Departments that he wanted to get rid of were:
Commerce
Energy
and, Education.
Sure, he could remember that he wanted to get rid of the Dept. of Education, it was Energy he couldn't remember, but that's the problem with every one of these knuckle-draggers. They all follow the insane mandate of the Right: Get rid of the Dept. of Education.
Their chosen weapon to do so is charter schools, to suck out all the money from public schools, but if that's too slo-mo, then do it in one fell swoop. Get rid of the entire system by dismantling the whole support system.
Republicans offer a vision of the world that has been offered before, a medieval construct that has no education, no care for the elderly or those in medical need, a rigid unequal theocracy that defines ensoulment and heavenly reward, and utter indifference to anything in-between.
We clawed our way out of that, people - and now millions of 21st century people want to crawl back to it. Every Republican candidate supports the death of the Department of Education.
Perry is gone. Now the others need to slink away and take their bizarre concept of society with them. We don't need them.
Commerce
Energy
and, Education.
Sure, he could remember that he wanted to get rid of the Dept. of Education, it was Energy he couldn't remember, but that's the problem with every one of these knuckle-draggers. They all follow the insane mandate of the Right: Get rid of the Dept. of Education.
Their chosen weapon to do so is charter schools, to suck out all the money from public schools, but if that's too slo-mo, then do it in one fell swoop. Get rid of the entire system by dismantling the whole support system.
Republicans offer a vision of the world that has been offered before, a medieval construct that has no education, no care for the elderly or those in medical need, a rigid unequal theocracy that defines ensoulment and heavenly reward, and utter indifference to anything in-between.
We clawed our way out of that, people - and now millions of 21st century people want to crawl back to it. Every Republican candidate supports the death of the Department of Education.
Perry is gone. Now the others need to slink away and take their bizarre concept of society with them. We don't need them.
42
Gail Collins:
You are back just in time to read and summarize all those (ghost written) autobiographies by the remaining Presidential candidates. What a great national service your are performing for all the readers of the New York Times.
You are back just in time to read and summarize all those (ghost written) autobiographies by the remaining Presidential candidates. What a great national service your are performing for all the readers of the New York Times.
14
Well, there is one less person in the GOP circular firing squad.
Will Perry's final shot at Trump hit or miss? My guess is that it will miss as have the shots from Bobby Jindal and Jeb!
Trump has thoroughly destroyed Reince Priebus's effort to rebrand the GOP and given the nation, nay the world, a clear view of the base of the GOP. And, it is clear that the base, i.e. The Tea Party, in spite of its constant threats, is not going to form a third party. So, I put forth this modest proposal: It is time for Jeb! to lead the non Tea Party Republicans into a third party - a true conservative party as opposed to the seething collection of grievances and resentment floating in a sea of outrage that is led by the nihilistic Ted Cruz.
It would be a bold move by the "low energy" candidate, but I want my functioning two party system back.
Will Perry's final shot at Trump hit or miss? My guess is that it will miss as have the shots from Bobby Jindal and Jeb!
Trump has thoroughly destroyed Reince Priebus's effort to rebrand the GOP and given the nation, nay the world, a clear view of the base of the GOP. And, it is clear that the base, i.e. The Tea Party, in spite of its constant threats, is not going to form a third party. So, I put forth this modest proposal: It is time for Jeb! to lead the non Tea Party Republicans into a third party - a true conservative party as opposed to the seething collection of grievances and resentment floating in a sea of outrage that is led by the nihilistic Ted Cruz.
It would be a bold move by the "low energy" candidate, but I want my functioning two party system back.
9
Not just elimination of popular election of senators, but also dropping that one about birthright citizenship. Heck, who can even remember how many amendments there are to the Constitution?
4
Huckabee thinks the Dred Scott decision is still good law. Google it - I am not making that up.
1
Perry died at the Alamo in his failed debate in 2012 .....he just didn't know it !
4
During the last Rick Perry boomlet (before he declared in 2011), I was chatting with my daughter-in-law's dad about Texas politics. (He lives in Austin.) He said that Perry didn't have a chance -- even though he briefly led in the polls -- just because he wasn't very bright. It was true in 2012 and it's still true...glasses notwithstanding.
11
He threatened to lead Texas out of the Union. Maybe now he'll "self-secede" and find another country to call home?
7
Five of the ten fastest growing cities in the country are in Texas.
http://fortune.com/2015/05/21/fastest-growing-cities/
http://www.bizjournals.com/houston/news/2015/01/28/houston-surges-to-top...
http://www.forbes.com/pictures/emeg45eegeg/1-houston-texas-2/
Natural resources, diversification, free-market are the driving forces are the oil bust in the early 80s. Lower taxes, right-to-work and S-N-O-W being a dirty four letter in Houston word are incentives. Gov. Perry was the beneficiary, nothing more.
http://fortune.com/2015/05/21/fastest-growing-cities/
http://www.bizjournals.com/houston/news/2015/01/28/houston-surges-to-top...
http://www.forbes.com/pictures/emeg45eegeg/1-houston-texas-2/
Natural resources, diversification, free-market are the driving forces are the oil bust in the early 80s. Lower taxes, right-to-work and S-N-O-W being a dirty four letter in Houston word are incentives. Gov. Perry was the beneficiary, nothing more.
5
Unlike that New England, Ivy League graduate, White Anglo-Saxon Protestant blue- blood, hedonistic alcohol illegal drug abusing cheer leader the legendary Texas Air National Guard Ace, the reckless George Walker Bush, James Richard Perry was really born and raised in Texas. There is no place like Paint Brush and Haskell County. Perry served in the real United States Air Force as a real pilot. Perry has a real Texas ranch. Perry has a B.S. in animal science from Texas A & M where he was elected a yell leader.
Unlike that Canadian born, Cuban American, effete fancy prancing Ivy League educated pretending to be Ted, the insufferable Rafael Edward Cruz, Rick Perry has a reasonable logical good old Texas nick-name.
Texas seceded from Mexico because it feared that it would have to give up slavery. Even though the half brown Native and half Black African Mexican President-Vicente Guerrero- who abolished slavery in Mexico in 1829, specifically exempted Texas from that proscription. But just as it did during the Civil War, Texas was fighting for the right to continue enslaving Africans along with invading and occupying Native American land.
They do know how to tell very tall tales in Texas.
Unlike that Canadian born, Cuban American, effete fancy prancing Ivy League educated pretending to be Ted, the insufferable Rafael Edward Cruz, Rick Perry has a reasonable logical good old Texas nick-name.
Texas seceded from Mexico because it feared that it would have to give up slavery. Even though the half brown Native and half Black African Mexican President-Vicente Guerrero- who abolished slavery in Mexico in 1829, specifically exempted Texas from that proscription. But just as it did during the Civil War, Texas was fighting for the right to continue enslaving Africans along with invading and occupying Native American land.
They do know how to tell very tall tales in Texas.
8
I could never understand the underlying rationale of Rick Perry's candidacy. I remember when Rick called for Texas succession from the US. Now why would I or anyone ever vote for Rick when he came so close to calling for sedition?
8
Hooray, one down too many more to go. Is it too much to ask for a candidate that isn't a racist, believes in science and actual tries to do the right thing?
I think we should start drafting candidates, sort of a mandatory public service.
I think we should start drafting candidates, sort of a mandatory public service.
8
It must have been a very slow news day for the NYT to think this highly opinionated article is newsworthy.
We are a very broad, diverse country, and it is shocking that we keep returning the same people to office, so much so, that many politicians refer to themselves as "career politicians." And political office is passed around in the same families, sometimes, for generations.
Unfortunately, Rick Perry probably qualified as a career politician, but we should applaud people who come from outside of our ruling class who are willing to undergo the rigors of running for high political office and give us the richness and diversity we deserve in our leaders.
We are a very broad, diverse country, and it is shocking that we keep returning the same people to office, so much so, that many politicians refer to themselves as "career politicians." And political office is passed around in the same families, sometimes, for generations.
Unfortunately, Rick Perry probably qualified as a career politician, but we should applaud people who come from outside of our ruling class who are willing to undergo the rigors of running for high political office and give us the richness and diversity we deserve in our leaders.
3
Thing is, Mr. Duffy, even on a day full of news (and there is one heck of a lot of news going on right now), many of us will turn first to a Gail Collins column. She is, by the way, a columnist, not a reporter. There's a big difference, and it would help your understanding of the world if you learned about that difference.
1
Yes, enough of graduates of top-level universities and lawyers from Harvard and Yale law schools. What this country needs is more cheerleaders, entertainers, and high school graduates as leaders. And if there's something they can't understand, they can always wing it.
Probably not that important, anyway....
Probably not that important, anyway....
As good as this column was, I wish we had had your thoughts about the Republican rally earlier this week to support the Kentucky clerk, featuring Ted Cruz, Sarah Palin, and Duck Dynasty. Now that's what I call America's Finest!
16
Well, sad. Chief Clown #2 has bailed out of the republican clown car and gone back to the clown state from which he crawled. Now we'll never know what it would be like (gawd forbid) to have a president whose chief qualifications for office were that he shot a coyote while jogging and named his boots 'liberty' and 'freedom'. Chief Clown #1 is still in the car, though it appears the other clowns don't like him very much and are trying to shove him out the door. Should they actually do so, the aesthetic ability of the collective clowns left would rise by a munificent magnitude. Which isn't saying much considering the collective idiocy involved among the whole bunch. Ah well, let us sit back and guffaw with Gail's marvelous hilarity! Even a great talent like Gail needs grist for their mill! Thank goodness the republicans provide a surfeit!!
13
Let's give Rick Perry a wee bit of credit. He may not be the brightest bulb on the marquee, but sometimes it's how you use what little light you produce. At least he has the intelligence to look around him and say, 'Oops, time to go,' something the rest of the candidates can't seem to figure out.
15
And here's the worst part: Even without his glasses, he was the smartest of all the Republican candidates!!!
10
One down, 16 to go! I truly hope Huckabee is next. Perry was a fumbler who didn't know what he was doing (maybe that applies to his abstinence enthusiasm, too) but Huckabee is beyond weird. He's scary weird. As is Ted Cruz. As is.....well.....ALL of them! Even the supposed moderate, John Kasich, is a theocrat. They all want their religion front and center and forced upon the rest of us. Well, except for The Donald and we know his love for the Bible is bogus. And that, to me, is a good thing.
Yes, a very weird year. May we all survive it.
Yes, a very weird year. May we all survive it.
40
The real question isn't why Rick Perry didn't succeed as a serious candidate. It is how he ever qualified to be a serious candidate. An outstanding example of just how deep, as in low, the bar really is on the GOP bench.
23
As Rick Perry's campaign became more desperate he started sounded more reasonable. Sadly this don't cut no ice with Republican voters. Rational candidates need not apply.
16
Thrilled that Gail Collins is back. The line about the car in the living room is priceless!
30
I thought so too!
" Maybe if five or six other people quit, the voters will start to get focused and look at the polls like a homeowner waking up from a drunken bender and noticing a car in the living room. "
" By the end Perry had no staff, and he was wandering like a Labrador retriever being pulled around by a helium balloon attached to his collar. "
BWHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!! Thank you Gail. You made my morning !!!!
17
The future is very bright for a dim bulb like Rick Perry. First, there is FOX "News". All he has to do is contribute a few times a week, via remote, and parrot right-wing talking points. Hundreds of thousands of dollars right there.FOX might also award him his own show, then he will surely pull in over a million. Then there are the corporate board appointments. Don't sweat it Rick, just vote with the majority and enjoy the money.
And let's not forget, when Dick Cheney first exited politics, Halliburton installed him as their CEO!
The right=wing welfare machine takes care of it's own.
And let's not forget, when Dick Cheney first exited politics, Halliburton installed him as their CEO!
The right=wing welfare machine takes care of it's own.
33
Maybe next time he can try a monocle.
15
BEST line Gail...
By the end Perry had no staff, and he was wandering like a Labrador retriever being pulled around by a helium balloon attached to his collar.
I felt sorry for that dog.
By the end Perry had no staff, and he was wandering like a Labrador retriever being pulled around by a helium balloon attached to his collar.
I felt sorry for that dog.
9
I know some really smart, industrious and forward thinking folks who live in Texas. Rick Perry isn't one of them. Compared to the likes of Ann Richards and Molly Ivins, he is just a firecracker who fizzled out and spewed his sparks in the dirt. The poor guy. His massive ego must have really gotten a kick in the pants.
23
ann and molly are dead -
Have no regard for those who revel, take delight in other people's failures. GC's column exemplifies this. To have served as governor of Texas is no mean feat, an achievement, and what is so funny about a man who has tried his best as a public servant such as Perry, to have made a contribution to the commonweal, a word u don't hear so much anymore, and failed. I liked Gail COLLINS when she first began writing for the NYT years ago. But this latest piece is simply mean spirited, and the humor is lame.She is also "parti pris," biased, and attacks only Republlcans. What about the spending excesses of the WH:Michelle Obama and O taking separate planes to their expensive vacation retreats at the taxpayer's expense, or all those deceits within the Democratic Party who voted for ACA without having read it? Or O dissimulating on virtually every issue he has been asked about? Is O and his "equipe" not also fit subjects for ridicule?Perry tried his best, but failed. What is so hilarious about that? He deserves our empathy, not the cheap , derisive remarks of GC and many of your commenters.GC:"il faut jouer franc jeu!. For a change, try being fair minded!
5
One by one they'll drop until we're left with Jeb? and The Donald. What a debate that'll be.
11
Gail, there was never a need to worry if it were constitutionally permissible to have a ticket composed of two candidates from the same state: as DIck Cheney proved in 2000, all one need to do is fly to Wyoming (or any of the other 48 states NOT named Texas) and register to vote there. Of course in this instance, Cheney also was in charge of helping W find the very best VP choice, and mirabile dictu, he somehow found himself!
15
I listened to part of Perry's farewell speech and when he said that Texas has the best prenatal care in the country I had to get up and leave before I threw a rock through the TV.
38
The hopes of a passel of peckerwoods - dashed!
11
The big question that looms over Rick Perry's departure is to whom will he bequeath his glasses now that they are no longer needed?
6
Thank goodness you are back in time for most of the election fun.
And thank you for this line -- "like a homeowner waking up from a drunken bender and noticing a car in the living room." It's perfect!
And thank you for this line -- "like a homeowner waking up from a drunken bender and noticing a car in the living room." It's perfect!
13
As a certified rambling nincompoop I forgot to say this in my last missive, welcome back to the finest satirical journalist in todo el mundo. Y para Ricardo Perry, adios muchacho, vaya con dios. The last part I really don't believe, expect for the goodbye. Come to think of it, I hope it is a badbye.
6
Rick gave up boots after 2012. Now he wears loafers and glasses. Still didn't change what's inside his head.
22
Thanks for helping us process, Gail, just in time!
You will have to work harder now that Rick has walked off into the saguaro horizon, but not too much harder. I suspect your next column will write itself this coming week when the shape shifters return for their next "debate."
You will have to work harder now that Rick has walked off into the saguaro horizon, but not too much harder. I suspect your next column will write itself this coming week when the shape shifters return for their next "debate."
14
Amazing that four years ago, there was a large segment of the punditry that saw Perry destined to mount his steed and gallop off to the White House. If people had then only listened to Molly Ivins instead of condemning her alleged " vitriol" for exposing the man for what he was.
No one appears to be shedding a tear that he has been sent back to the bunkhouse---except for the coyotes who would have pleased to be out of shooting range.
No one appears to be shedding a tear that he has been sent back to the bunkhouse---except for the coyotes who would have pleased to be out of shooting range.
30
I honestly don't know whether his departure increases or decreases the average IQ of the R field of candidates. I know this is uncharitable, but can I get a little help with the arithmetic here?
28
Division by zero is not defined.
3
Just back of the envelope on this but Perry leaving the field brings it up to "Dull Normal"
1
When you take the lowest numbers out of group, the average has to rise. But that's not saying much in this case.
1
A strange occurrence. As I read Gail's column about Rick Perry's exit from the jam-packed clown car of the Republican Party's biggest losers vying for the presidency in 2016, Pandora radio started playing Mozart's Requiem."
This very emotional music made me think of my father, who loved Mozart and built a stereo system from scratch in our den that looked like heck but had the most gorgeous sound. He liked all kinds of music--classical, dixieland, Hank Williams, opera--but definitely not rock-and-roll. We were not allowed to play our "stuff" on his stereo.
Dad was originally from Maine, who marched to his own drummer happily, was a tinkerer, didn't need people, and was a quiet atheist who didn't like preachy people. He was also a political conservative--the old-fashioned kind, a man of moral principle, cheap as they come, and don't ever whine around him.
Long dead, how disgusted my father would be with what is passing for conservatism these days--by the reign of the big unaccountable corporations and self-serving greedy oligarchs, by the religious nuts imposing their narrow-minded and mean-spirited views on everyone else, and most of all by the embarrassingly low caliber of the dim-witted, lying, obnoxious presidential candidates the Republican Party manages to scrape up to run for public office.
To me, the fortuitous playing of the "Requiem" while reading about Perry's political demise perhaps was signaling the end of the Republican Party--not fast enough, however
This very emotional music made me think of my father, who loved Mozart and built a stereo system from scratch in our den that looked like heck but had the most gorgeous sound. He liked all kinds of music--classical, dixieland, Hank Williams, opera--but definitely not rock-and-roll. We were not allowed to play our "stuff" on his stereo.
Dad was originally from Maine, who marched to his own drummer happily, was a tinkerer, didn't need people, and was a quiet atheist who didn't like preachy people. He was also a political conservative--the old-fashioned kind, a man of moral principle, cheap as they come, and don't ever whine around him.
Long dead, how disgusted my father would be with what is passing for conservatism these days--by the reign of the big unaccountable corporations and self-serving greedy oligarchs, by the religious nuts imposing their narrow-minded and mean-spirited views on everyone else, and most of all by the embarrassingly low caliber of the dim-witted, lying, obnoxious presidential candidates the Republican Party manages to scrape up to run for public office.
To me, the fortuitous playing of the "Requiem" while reading about Perry's political demise perhaps was signaling the end of the Republican Party--not fast enough, however
78
Gail you just ain’t whistling Dixie and you did not even mention the threats to secede from the Union. Measured by median household income, health coverage, public education, humaine criminal justice and equal protection of the law Texas is near or or the bottom of the list.
Unless you are rich or a large employer Texas is an awful place to live. Worse they are pro confederate and anti Constitution and they have Texas has indeed hijacked the American agenda. Conservative principles Texas style is simply freedom and liberty are a commodity and it goes to the highest bidders. The battle for freedom and liberty is a zero sum game which means the winners do so at the expense of the lossers and in Texas the game is rigged and they are proud of it.
Yes sir in Texas where the federal government is the enemy if you are poor you live in a police state where they just love the death sentence and in a speech mentioning the number of executed people is and applause line and Perry is proud of his 14 years as governor which was many stealing jobs from other states promising employer low taxes and free reign.
Unless you are rich or a large employer Texas is an awful place to live. Worse they are pro confederate and anti Constitution and they have Texas has indeed hijacked the American agenda. Conservative principles Texas style is simply freedom and liberty are a commodity and it goes to the highest bidders. The battle for freedom and liberty is a zero sum game which means the winners do so at the expense of the lossers and in Texas the game is rigged and they are proud of it.
Yes sir in Texas where the federal government is the enemy if you are poor you live in a police state where they just love the death sentence and in a speech mentioning the number of executed people is and applause line and Perry is proud of his 14 years as governor which was many stealing jobs from other states promising employer low taxes and free reign.
32
And you know whereof you speak because you've lived in Texas how long? It's interesting, is it not, that such a deplorable state, " . . . an awful place to live," just happens to be one of the fastest growing states in the nation, with an estimated 1,000 people a day moving there. And, they're not leaving, either. Wonder why that is?
What a weird year indeed. Alas, poor Perry--we barely knew you. (except for Gail who'd been following him apparently every since he rustled his first dime from a donor. America's got talent!
I agree that the success of a state often doesn't depend on the governor. It's the "right place, right time" principle unless your decision to cause a major traffic jam ends up being right after Labor Day. And I also agree that this "amazingly rich field" as Perry sees it is actually quite poor. Perhaps he's outgrown his glasses prescription.
But now, Gail, I want you to turn your sights on Trump. OK, you're only back since Thursday, but America needs you--don't bother to focus on Pataki, and the other losers. We need your acumen to zero in on those proclaiming to make America great again. And that would include JEB!, who cutely named his PAC America Rising, and others. I don't know Caron's PAC name--does he have one?
The debate is Wednesday. Your column is Thursday. America awaits your reaction! Will you be able to crystallize your thoughts into the confines of a column? Will you be able to assure us that despite the theatrics of this campaign, there is still light at the end of the campaign tunnel?
I agree that the success of a state often doesn't depend on the governor. It's the "right place, right time" principle unless your decision to cause a major traffic jam ends up being right after Labor Day. And I also agree that this "amazingly rich field" as Perry sees it is actually quite poor. Perhaps he's outgrown his glasses prescription.
But now, Gail, I want you to turn your sights on Trump. OK, you're only back since Thursday, but America needs you--don't bother to focus on Pataki, and the other losers. We need your acumen to zero in on those proclaiming to make America great again. And that would include JEB!, who cutely named his PAC America Rising, and others. I don't know Caron's PAC name--does he have one?
The debate is Wednesday. Your column is Thursday. America awaits your reaction! Will you be able to crystallize your thoughts into the confines of a column? Will you be able to assure us that despite the theatrics of this campaign, there is still light at the end of the campaign tunnel?
40
This is serious and can't be stressed enough.
The radical conservatives want to rescind the reform that put Senate elections to a popular vote, and return to having Senators selected by state legislatures, because while liberals were patting themselves on the back for electing the first black president, they were sitting out those lower-level, off-year elections as too minor to bother with.
Meanwhile, the Tea Party knew the real meaning 'grass roots' (in fact, 'radical' derives from the word for 'root'!). they took serious the cant slogan the left merely mouths, to 'think globally, act locally'. They were winning town councils, school boards, county freeholders and selectmen, and state legislature seats.
Then the left wakes up and sees evolution is not being taught in schools, local abortion providers are being zoned out of existence, etc. Because the people who hold those piddly low-level offices you didn't care about now hold the reins of power, the offices that can actually DO things. And that includes the state legislatures - which, if they have their way, will elect Senators.
Sending your $300 to Obama's election campaign and putting his bumper sticker on your Prius made you feel part of 'history'. You had the better halftime show. But the other side is going to win the game, because you couldn't be bothered to come out on the field and play.
Some of us saw this coming, but we were screaming into the wind ....
The radical conservatives want to rescind the reform that put Senate elections to a popular vote, and return to having Senators selected by state legislatures, because while liberals were patting themselves on the back for electing the first black president, they were sitting out those lower-level, off-year elections as too minor to bother with.
Meanwhile, the Tea Party knew the real meaning 'grass roots' (in fact, 'radical' derives from the word for 'root'!). they took serious the cant slogan the left merely mouths, to 'think globally, act locally'. They were winning town councils, school boards, county freeholders and selectmen, and state legislature seats.
Then the left wakes up and sees evolution is not being taught in schools, local abortion providers are being zoned out of existence, etc. Because the people who hold those piddly low-level offices you didn't care about now hold the reins of power, the offices that can actually DO things. And that includes the state legislatures - which, if they have their way, will elect Senators.
Sending your $300 to Obama's election campaign and putting his bumper sticker on your Prius made you feel part of 'history'. You had the better halftime show. But the other side is going to win the game, because you couldn't be bothered to come out on the field and play.
Some of us saw this coming, but we were screaming into the wind ....
187
Your characterization of liberals and democrats is off base, though I'd agree there appear to be rather a lot of people (not liberals or true democrats) not bothering to (a) inform themselves on the issues and (b) show up and vote, both of which are iniquitous.
13
Good point, except the go local movement wasn't simply the result of a grassroots awakening; it was a social trend that was quickly swept up and generously endowed by two men, who had been spreading their libertarian seed across the land for decades. Like the neocons, for years deemed "the crazies" by the foreign policy establishment seizing the tragedy of 9/11 to enact their imperial ambitions, the Koch's have done the same wreaking havoc in the states with less obvious, disastrous results. Thank you for advising that those of us who have not been paying attention, to wake up and get to work combating the replicating virus before "what's the matter with Kansas" becomes the national anthem.
3
Thank you. Good response.
"By the end Perry had no staff, and he was wandering like a Labrador retriever being pulled around by a helium balloon attached to his collar."
If we can't have a dog on the roof of a car, then we can have a Lab with a helium balloon attached to his collar. In both instances, the dog being the smart one.
If we can't have a dog on the roof of a car, then we can have a Lab with a helium balloon attached to his collar. In both instances, the dog being the smart one.
57
It wasn't so much the candidate was left without a staff. His staff never really had a candidate.
Gail is really frustrated....she is losing all her dogs....
He named his boots?
28
What a blow to the secessionist movement ! But the bright side is Rick will now have time to roll up his sleeves and start building that fence around Texas with the left over cash from his backers.
41
14 years and he did not finish the wall? Perhaps Trump should have been the Lone Governor of Texas....Forgot, it is Obama's fault
Yes he can start the wall now but will he name it the TRUMP wall ???
We'll miss Rick Perry for his moment of candor in calling Trump a 'nativist' but since he had to be out of the game to conjure the nerve to reveal what he thinks about Trump, perhaps he's finally found his voice.
We'll miss Rick Perry because the second tier debates will seem lonely without him.
I can't remember the third reason we'll miss Rick Perry.
We'll miss Rick Perry because the second tier debates will seem lonely without him.
I can't remember the third reason we'll miss Rick Perry.
279
Yes, Rick Perry is a comedian's dream, a doofus with delusions of adequacy who followed the Great Electable Doofus as Governor of Texas and had his heart set on following him as President. Yes, he is a trove, from his coyote antics to the evocative name of his ranch. I get that. And next week, you can probably make us giggle at the comic styling of one Bobby Jindal or, failing that, some "Bible Trumps the Constitution" quotes from the Reverend Mike Huckabee.
However, there is a struggle going on for the direction of this country, and the next election may chart our course (and the makeup of the Supreme Court for a generation). Remember that one candidate, Bernie Sanders, has been advocating for ordinary people for 40 years (and as such should NEVER be lumped in with dilettantes like Trump and Carson), whereas Republicans have promised that, if granted both the Presidency and Congress, they will repeal not only the ACA and the multi-nation nuclear deal with Iran but also defund Planned Parenthood, without which poor families will be on their own, and abstinence will not likely save them and us from thousands of unwanted offspring.
Bernie Sanders will confront those who blithely increase the carbon ppm and usher us ever more quickly toward drowned cities and human migration caused by severe weather and a lack of water. The Republicans (and perhaps HRC) will fight to build the Keystone pipeline, ensuring a dystopic climate future.
Yes, Rick Perry is funny. Let's move on.
However, there is a struggle going on for the direction of this country, and the next election may chart our course (and the makeup of the Supreme Court for a generation). Remember that one candidate, Bernie Sanders, has been advocating for ordinary people for 40 years (and as such should NEVER be lumped in with dilettantes like Trump and Carson), whereas Republicans have promised that, if granted both the Presidency and Congress, they will repeal not only the ACA and the multi-nation nuclear deal with Iran but also defund Planned Parenthood, without which poor families will be on their own, and abstinence will not likely save them and us from thousands of unwanted offspring.
Bernie Sanders will confront those who blithely increase the carbon ppm and usher us ever more quickly toward drowned cities and human migration caused by severe weather and a lack of water. The Republicans (and perhaps HRC) will fight to build the Keystone pipeline, ensuring a dystopic climate future.
Yes, Rick Perry is funny. Let's move on.
31
Jack, We are with you boy. But American Presidential campaigns are long affairs. Never miss an opportunity to find humor in the process. Life is too short. And, thank goodness for Gail!
We can move on in many ways, and I'm sure Gail Collins will do that. Her column's humor often illuminates more substance than any ten other "serious" news stories.
He is unelectable at this time in this country. Not saying that's right or fair but it's reality.
Hard times at the Republican camp. Gun toting voters are giving up on the Rick Perry and W. type of politicians. What is next? Donald Trump, the Great White Hope?
11
After being indicted by the courts what made him think he could run for president? I hope his supporters demand their money back with interest and if they don't get it sue him for all he has. The same goes for Ted Cruz who can't legally run for president. All opinions court and legal scholars say it take two parent of US citizenship to run for President. Ted was born in Canada and his father was a Cuban citizen at the time of his birth.
6
Not sure that Rick's new glasses had lenses in them.
22
The story of the Alamo was the siege against 200 Texicans by an overwhelming force which vanquished them. What your tongue-in-cheek title fails to connect is that the following battle of San Jacinto is considered one of the greatest victories in history.
Ms. Collins loves to skewer conservatives, to the delight of the overwhelming liberal forces that read this publication. Don't be surprised when the next battle of San Jacinto is won!
Ms. Collins loves to skewer conservatives, to the delight of the overwhelming liberal forces that read this publication. Don't be surprised when the next battle of San Jacinto is won!
2
At least the skewering is done with humour unlike some of our conservative friends who seem to have a bottomless well of mean spirited "deniable" statements. I wonder if they talk to their dogs like that.
5
Gathrigh; Keep in mind the leader and brains behind those Texicans was Sam Houston, quite the opposite of the clown show Ms Collins is talking about. He was, in spite of what too many Texans willingly refuse to remember, a liberal by the standards of his day and even by the standards of today in Texas. Bi-racially married, againts seccession to the point that it alienated him from the states rights, slave supporting Texas money and powers of the day. Educated, inquisative, smart, forward thinking, a man with vision...a Rennaisance Man in the true sense of the word.
He must be rolling over in his grave to see what the "conservative" Texas clowns, led by Perry have done to both Texas politics and the national clown show Ms Collins so humorously describes. Molly Ivans she is not, but she is stll great at her craft. Meanwhile, lets hope Perry crawls under that dubiously painted rock in West Texas, never to appear again.
He must be rolling over in his grave to see what the "conservative" Texas clowns, led by Perry have done to both Texas politics and the national clown show Ms Collins so humorously describes. Molly Ivans she is not, but she is stll great at her craft. Meanwhile, lets hope Perry crawls under that dubiously painted rock in West Texas, never to appear again.
Actually, it was 185 American/Texicans against 5,000 Mexicans. These founding "Texas Heroes" were given all the land they could ride around in a day. The conditions were allegiance to Mexico, conversion to Catholicism and No Slaves. They took the land then decried the lack of religious freedom. Oh, and they brought their slaves in as "bond servants" The "Yellow Rose of Texas" was an octaroon "bond servant" named Emily Morgan. She was imported by her bond master from a brothel in New Orleans. She was sent by her master to distract Santa Ana the night before the battle of San Jacinto. Little wonder that she is immortalized in their state song. Unfortunately for Perry he was not as good a myth spinner about his state's prosperity as his state's founders were about their how and why of their motivations.
2
Gail, you were missed!
7
Gail, you mentioned the Alamo. Didn't the Mexican general Santa Ana win that battle? Did you picture Rick as Davy Crockett? They were both hunters,although Davy supposedly killed a bear when he was a toddler,which is much more impressive than whacking a starving coyote in your hood. If you saw Rick is Davy did you project "The Donald" as Santa Anna? That Visualization is mind blowing!
6
It would be interesting to hear the actual accomplishments of Hillary or the other socialist that libs seem to love so much.
2
RS - You better block in some time for that. The accomplishments of Senator Sanders, at least, will take some time.
Nice try, RS, but the distraction from the subject doesn't work with this crowd. It's a tough room.
Including our current POTUS!
Right on schedule. The first crash and burn of the republican going out of business sale. Next!
22
Indeed, Gail, a weird year. And so fine to have you back! Yay for Rick Perry having the smarts to quit the demented Republican posse of 17 declared candidates sprinting for the Presidency. We will always remember Rick for his memorable 2012 "oops!" and for his very intelligent black-rimmed eyeglasses, a fairly recent acquisition underscoring his viability and nous for the Presidency. Oops. Let's face facts - the Republican party is not in good hands, though their bench is deep and wide and conservative. One is reminded of the cheerful tin ducks in a carnival sideshow shooting gallery - one down, 16 to go. Perhaps this coming week's second Republican debate - ballyhooed from here to eternity by CNN, bless their little hearts - will accentuate the positive and eliminate the negatives of a few more Tea Party candidates. Meanwhile, Gail, it's great to see you "back in the saddle again, out where a friend is a friend!" (forelock tugged to Gene Autry). Looking forward to your focusing on Rick's "tremendous field of candidates" on the GOP Tea Party side of this year's campaign circus. "Whoopi-ty-aye-oh!"
23
Listen, I'm from NC and we have elected a thin skinned moron to be our governor (Pat McCrory) and he's a disaster. Folks already call him 'One
Term Pat'. But he's no Rick Perry. How stupid can the state of Texas be that
they would elect him as their leader for 14 years? They only succeeded in
making the surrounding states better.
Term Pat'. But he's no Rick Perry. How stupid can the state of Texas be that
they would elect him as their leader for 14 years? They only succeeded in
making the surrounding states better.
36
Well, I imagine some Texans, in this day of Gov Greg Abbott and Sen Ted Cruz, are wishing for the good old days of Gov Rick Perry.
Have you looked at Oklahoma and Louisiana lately? And then there's Kansas, which, while not one of the surrounding states, is close enough.
So, when Perry kicks someone when he's down, as he did with Medicaid recipients, is he exercising freedom or taking liberty? Is he right or left footed? Just wondering. I suppose the result is the same whether it comes from the right or the left.
13
Gail,
Welcome back from your time off...The Times wasn't nearly as fun without you!
A fan!
Gary
Welcome back from your time off...The Times wasn't nearly as fun without you!
A fan!
Gary
75
I have a hard time with the image of a Labrador retriever being pulled around by a helium balloon on its collar. A toy Chihuahua maybe, but a Lab? Besides, Labs are basically just big, furry love machines, and that's hardly Rick Perry, so that analogy doesn't really work. (I don't know the personality of Chihuahuas, except that I imagine they're yippy, so that's a better analogy.)
6
Chuck, it works a little like the old-fashioned cans on a tail. Had it happen once, by accident, to a large tomcat. He wasn't the same for a month. Light weight has a lot of pull on light-weight.
Chihuahas are tiny but have big hearts. Most of them vote Dem...
Mr. Perry suffered a political death during the Keystone Cop handling of the Dallas Ebola outbreak, and ran a campaign more in line with "The Walking Dead" than a serious attempt at office. Doubtful if even Texans will mourn his exit from the stage.
13
Since Perry served as governor of Texas for 14 years, I suspect a lot of Texans will mourn his exit. Too many. You must remember that Texas is a highly dysfunctional state! Texas has managed to keep Hispanics and African Americans from voting in large numbers and with gerrymandering and the new voter id requirements, that is not going to change anytime soon unless the Supreme Court decides the id requirements are unconstitutional. Not sure there is a 5th vote for that on the Court. This state will probably be red long after the demographics should make it blue.
Now who is left in the race that has tried to look like St. Ronnie? Handsome? Debonair? Presidential?
11
Carly Fiorini?
Carly Fiorina?
Ted Cruz
Nice eulogy!
17
I read Ms. Collins columns first thing when they appear on my screen. I know that no matter what the subject, she is going to say something that will stick in my head for longer than anyone would consider reasonable. The vision in my head of Perry as a Labrador with a helium balloon attached to his collar is precious.
Well, to paraphrase another politician who didn't make the cut in another political situation, "You [reporters] won't have Perry to kick around anymore."
Let's hope that stays true, as it didn't with the guy who originally said it.
Well, to paraphrase another politician who didn't make the cut in another political situation, "You [reporters] won't have Perry to kick around anymore."
Let's hope that stays true, as it didn't with the guy who originally said it.
22
It's a sad day for satire when that lonesome cowpoke with designer glasses and less than 1% support rides off into the sunset.
25
And we'll never get to hear the name of his ranch again.
18
The field of Republican candidates should be winnowed out by a process similar to the Gong Show back in the 1970s. Once the candidate's act gets too strange to follow, just get him/her off the stage - and the sooner the better. And by any means possible. Seriously, we need to restore some dignity to this business of selecting a US president, and many of the Republican candidates in the last election and the upcoming one are nothing but punchlines for jokes.
267
What a weird year, indeed, Gail. Well said.
Of course it is altogether fitting and proper that Rick Perry should step aside. He was just a well-intentioned Texan who lacked the intellectual heft to be president. Kind of like George W. Bush.
But why is he stepping down before Jim Gilmore, Bobby Jindal, and George Pataki? I always thought of Perry as the fourth leas likely candidate to get the nomination, not the least likely.
i
Of course it is altogether fitting and proper that Rick Perry should step aside. He was just a well-intentioned Texan who lacked the intellectual heft to be president. Kind of like George W. Bush.
But why is he stepping down before Jim Gilmore, Bobby Jindal, and George Pataki? I always thought of Perry as the fourth leas likely candidate to get the nomination, not the least likely.
i
1
This feels like when #37 said:
"...you don't have Nixon to kick around any more....".
Except Nixon was actually smart.
"...you don't have Nixon to kick around any more....".
Except Nixon was actually smart.
8
"Bobby Jindal's Louisiana.....wow."
I'll say! I enjoyed Jindal's latest stupid, pandering, groveling media appearance, in which, always eager for attention and willing to say literally anything to get it, Jindal stooped to making fun of Trump's hair. This doofus was a Rhodes scholar?
Jindal ranted on and on about Trump's 'unsuitability' to be president, calling Trump a "narcissist who cares only about himself." This was rich coming from Jindal, who refused Medicaid expansion and smugly defunded public schools and hospitals all over Louisiana -- inflicting pain, suffering, exhaustion and even death on the citizens of his state in his 7 years as governor, which have been nothing but Jindal's long quest to attract the attention of Grover Norquist and the Koch brothers in hopes they would fund his presidential candidacy. If that's not narcissism, someone's redefined the word.
It's hard to say Jindal is the most disgusting, heartless and worthless governor in the country -- but only because Scott Walker is still out there, dismantling Wisconsin while explaining his bald spot was caused by "banging my head on the sink." You can't make this stuff up.....
I'll say! I enjoyed Jindal's latest stupid, pandering, groveling media appearance, in which, always eager for attention and willing to say literally anything to get it, Jindal stooped to making fun of Trump's hair. This doofus was a Rhodes scholar?
Jindal ranted on and on about Trump's 'unsuitability' to be president, calling Trump a "narcissist who cares only about himself." This was rich coming from Jindal, who refused Medicaid expansion and smugly defunded public schools and hospitals all over Louisiana -- inflicting pain, suffering, exhaustion and even death on the citizens of his state in his 7 years as governor, which have been nothing but Jindal's long quest to attract the attention of Grover Norquist and the Koch brothers in hopes they would fund his presidential candidacy. If that's not narcissism, someone's redefined the word.
It's hard to say Jindal is the most disgusting, heartless and worthless governor in the country -- but only because Scott Walker is still out there, dismantling Wisconsin while explaining his bald spot was caused by "banging my head on the sink." You can't make this stuff up.....
96
"So Rick Perry’s gone for good. We will never have another chance to point out that he named his boots 'Freedom' and 'Liberty.' "
Thanks Gail. I didn't know until you wrote it here that "Freedom" and "Liberty" booted Perry.
Thanks Gail. I didn't know until you wrote it here that "Freedom" and "Liberty" booted Perry.
12
IThis is unbelievably funny. I knew I was in for a treat right from the start, when you commented on the sudden disappearance of the glasses.
3
And the Democrats have what?
1
We have a clue. Do you?
45
....and we have Bernie, whose IQ is possibly 100 points higher than anyone who walks around with "liberty" and "freedom" embossed on his boots and thinks that "abstinence works."
7
In the previous column in this Glorious Restoration, your discovery of the ultimate bon mot for another candidate - that his name is to be expected of a fake I.D. - foretold that great dawn we greet here, truly affirmed, in your wistful laying aside of the back story on this candidate's triumphal abstinence. No more holidays until November, next year. The din of think-tank gurus has been crushingly useless.
4
My Thursday and Saturday mornings just got happier again. Glad you're back!
16
Governor Perry dropped out for three very good reasons:
money ran out, staff quit,... and, oh, I forgot the third reason.
money ran out, staff quit,... and, oh, I forgot the third reason.
67
Nice.
" I'm just going from my own personal life. Abstinence works." He'll be missed.
12
Rick Perry - out!
With respect, Gail, he was never really in.
With respect, Gail, he was never really in.
14
Well, we have to give Rick Perry #1 credit for something.
#1 to announce he is not presidential material enough to win the GOP nomination or presidency. Sometimes it takes awhile (like at least four years) to have a little wake up call, but let's give credit where credit is due.
That in itself might prove he's not as dumb as what we thought (that wouldn't take much) and may give him an intellect edge over the others! No tears, he made it look so easy. Again, leading the way, the old Texas first way. Step up cowboys - the buckaroo has spoken. You can do it too!
#1 to announce he is not presidential material enough to win the GOP nomination or presidency. Sometimes it takes awhile (like at least four years) to have a little wake up call, but let's give credit where credit is due.
That in itself might prove he's not as dumb as what we thought (that wouldn't take much) and may give him an intellect edge over the others! No tears, he made it look so easy. Again, leading the way, the old Texas first way. Step up cowboys - the buckaroo has spoken. You can do it too!
11
Dear Rick,
Dang, I hate it that you're leaving. Shoot-you weren't even the dumbest candidate. You're way smarter than Huckabee and Cruz and you had the best hair, including Carly Fiorina's coif (can you imagine that hair and face as President ? Puhleeze!).And let's not even talk about Trump's hair.
Saw where you'd written a book. Nobody told me. If it's still in print I'm going to get it put in all the schools. I hope there's lots of pictures in it.
Let's get together soon and figure out some way to spend all that PAC money you've got. As my old football coach used to say "Keep your dobber up."
ps-we had 'em going for a while didn't we?
Dang, I hate it that you're leaving. Shoot-you weren't even the dumbest candidate. You're way smarter than Huckabee and Cruz and you had the best hair, including Carly Fiorina's coif (can you imagine that hair and face as President ? Puhleeze!).And let's not even talk about Trump's hair.
Saw where you'd written a book. Nobody told me. If it's still in print I'm going to get it put in all the schools. I hope there's lots of pictures in it.
Let's get together soon and figure out some way to spend all that PAC money you've got. As my old football coach used to say "Keep your dobber up."
ps-we had 'em going for a while didn't we?
29
One of my favorite moments of the campaign was Perry's comment that the way to avoid mass shootings like those in Colorado and Louisiana was to allow firearms in theaters. Seemed like an odd suggestion, coming as it did from a member of the party of Lincoln.
25
Let's see... dozens of untrained people in a darkened theater trying to shoot a shooter, becoming shooters as they try. What could go wrong?
Welcome back, Ms. Collins! As others have noted, you've been missed, and I was having difficulty facing the election year (months too early) without you.
28
I second that! Welcome back, Gail!
Great to have you back, Gail, it's been a long summer...
This all would be superb entertainment, if it was not about the highest office in the most powerful country in the world. I keep my fingers crossed for some sanity.
This all would be superb entertainment, if it was not about the highest office in the most powerful country in the world. I keep my fingers crossed for some sanity.
13
Well I think it's the most wise step of His since the very beginning of his present presidential campaign because otherwise it could be even more humiliating than 4 years ago.
1
I lived in Texas for a number of years and was unimpressed by Perry. In one example, during the 2010 governor's race, Perry declined to debate his opponent in the general election. That's right, no debates for the governorship in a state with more than 25 million people. Policy aside, that single act spoke volumes to me about his values. I never got the sense he was interested in the spirit of democracy, progress, education, the arts or science. He was too much about corporations, money and power. That's not what America needs right now.
18
Poor Rick Perry proved the F. Scott Fitzgerald adage that "there are no second acts in American lives." At least not after you get tanked and deliver a goofy, giddy and mostly incoherent 'address' to a room full of rock-ribbed New Hampshire Republicans (and major news outlets) capping things off by making sweet love to a presentation bottle of maple syrup.
Video highlights of the surreal 2012 Manchester, NH career-ending (drunk) Rick Perry speech: http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2011/10/rick_perry_drunk_video_spee...
Gif of the maple syrup incident: http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2011/10/rick_perry_syrup_gif.html#
Video highlights of the surreal 2012 Manchester, NH career-ending (drunk) Rick Perry speech: http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2011/10/rick_perry_drunk_video_spee...
Gif of the maple syrup incident: http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2011/10/rick_perry_syrup_gif.html#
3
a columnist from the american edition of the GUARDIAN described gov perry as having the mental aptitude of 2 dogs in an overcoat.
that apparently is the RNC equivalent of a PHD
that apparently is the RNC equivalent of a PHD
33
I wonder about the status of his criminal case.
10
He reminded too many people, even Republicans, especially Republicans, of Dubya.
16
"the Republican race is now totally lacking in candidates who claimed to have shot a coyote while jogging".....Ms. Collins, thank you for making me spit coffee on my laptop. I can't stop laughing!
3
The governor might not have been the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he was the only Republican who applied the word "heartless" to the idea of massively deporting undocumented immigrants (which his state is full of), and if you recall, that is what shot him out of the saddle on the last go-round. It is not a time to celebrate.
7
The *loonies, that is the Republicans including Perry and Sarah Palin always say the Department of Energy should be done away with.
Okay, fine. But could any of them give us a brief summary of what it does? I doubt it. And while DOE can present their own brief, the
they might want to check, even Wikipedia will do.
DOE doesn't do what loose lips think.
Okay, fine. But could any of them give us a brief summary of what it does? I doubt it. And while DOE can present their own brief, the
they might want to check, even Wikipedia will do.
DOE doesn't do what loose lips think.
5
The Peter Principle at work: Rick Perry.
5
Very good and witty article. Alas! Rick Perry is not much worse than the rest of his GOP colleagues!
7
How ironic that the Department Perry forgot he wanted to get ride of was Energy. As the MIT trained Sec of Energy, with his expertise and contacts with scientists in Iran, was critical to reaching an agreement with Iran.
6
Will Rick Perry quietly disappear into this good night or will he parlay his political experience and, uh, expertise? into a commentator's chair somewhere on the Fox News archipelago of conservative squawkers?
10
Here's the scoop on the dastardly Dept of Energy that Rick so disdains:
The Department of Energy (DOE) is charged with advancing the national, economic, and energy security of the United States; promoting scientific and technological innovation in support of that mission; and ensuring the environmental cleanup of the national nuclear weapons complex.
I'm not sure which was stoopid-er ~ his forgetting its name or his opposing the department's purpose, which is US energy security.
Perry became a millionaire because of his proximity to power and later his own position of power in Texas government. But with all that behind him, it makes me wonder what he'll do next. It's hard to imagine he'll be hired by anyone for his brilliant mind.
The Department of Energy (DOE) is charged with advancing the national, economic, and energy security of the United States; promoting scientific and technological innovation in support of that mission; and ensuring the environmental cleanup of the national nuclear weapons complex.
I'm not sure which was stoopid-er ~ his forgetting its name or his opposing the department's purpose, which is US energy security.
Perry became a millionaire because of his proximity to power and later his own position of power in Texas government. But with all that behind him, it makes me wonder what he'll do next. It's hard to imagine he'll be hired by anyone for his brilliant mind.
21
REJBURKETT: What arrogance and nonsense. We don't know how effective the DOE has been and how many private contractors, friends o POTUS and perhaps friends of yours have made fortunes lobbying this agency whose mandate is environmental clean up and innovation. One must be wary of such an arm of the bureaucracy with apparently unlimited power and little oversight.Why the gratuitous criticism of PERRY? At least he has made a contribution to the commonweal and promoted commercial expansion by eliminating unnecessary regulations. And RP did serve as governor for 14 years and is a well known public figure. Is there a jealousy factor involved for u? The world has heard of Rick Perry ,but few people have heard of J BURKETT.ANYBODY can make a mistake in a debate.Perry has given his proofs nonetheless, and his critics should cut him some slack.
Gosh, we'll miss Rick, though we barely got to know him hidden as he was behind braggadocio, heavy glasses, and pet boots. Texas surely has strange political tastes: The Rickster, Cruzer, Bushy, and now Greg Abbott who seems actually worse than all the above. Lest we forget they have also given us DeLay and Gohmert, two standard setting members of congress, and the every popular Phil Gramm, he of the 'ready money' campaign cry. These fine people make John Cornyn look actually good, which under any other circumstances would be impossible--lucky man to play in such a league.
27
Remember A Lame-O.
A Rick Roll.
A Rick Roll.
1
Once the Republican party nominated Palin as a vice presidential candidate to an elderly man and thus potentially put her the proverbial heart beat away from the presidency it was obvious there was no limit to their recklessness and stupidity. With that one action alone (as if their haven't been numerous others) they surrendered the right to be taken seriously. Perry was at about the same level as Dubya. Physically handsome, not completely brainless, but with the character and intellectual capacity of your average car salesman. That these two were governors of one of the largest and wealthiest states in the US principally because of its natural resources and one actually became president speaks volumes about the state of US politics. It's easy to say that loony tunes candidates like Carson, Trump or Huckabee will never be president but the fact that collectively their support amounts to two thirds of Republican voters is mind boggling.
68
Gail
"Maybe if five or six other people quit the voters will start to get focused and at the polls like a homeowner waking up from a bender and noticing a car in the living room"
Is that your best shot Gail? You must have worked on that for hours. Can you imagine what it's like for a Democrat to wake up and hear Debbie Wasserman Schultz repeatedly not be able to tell the difference between a Democrat and a Socialist? Isn't she the head of YOUR party? And your party
is so desperate for candidates that Al "I created the internet....no really I did" Gore is sending out feelers? John Kerry is looking into it? What is this, the year of the Democratic retread. Gore 2000, Kerry 2004, Hillary 2008?
You can taunt and mock all you want but there is no way your party will ever elect a Socialist so keep it real. Second, none of our candidates are the subject of an criminal investigation by the FBI. Tell me, were you duped by her lie about destroying top secret emails? Were you duped by her lie that she never sent or received top secret emails? Would you like to talk about the 297 emails to and from with Blumenthal, who she had been told not to deal with? Can you believe where the server was stored?
Finally, Hillary is trailing at least 3 of our candidates in head to heads is she not? But I am impressed with that staged cry during that interview. I guess we can expect that every time she drops in the polls Remember, he who laughs last laughs best and it won't be you
"Maybe if five or six other people quit the voters will start to get focused and at the polls like a homeowner waking up from a bender and noticing a car in the living room"
Is that your best shot Gail? You must have worked on that for hours. Can you imagine what it's like for a Democrat to wake up and hear Debbie Wasserman Schultz repeatedly not be able to tell the difference between a Democrat and a Socialist? Isn't she the head of YOUR party? And your party
is so desperate for candidates that Al "I created the internet....no really I did" Gore is sending out feelers? John Kerry is looking into it? What is this, the year of the Democratic retread. Gore 2000, Kerry 2004, Hillary 2008?
You can taunt and mock all you want but there is no way your party will ever elect a Socialist so keep it real. Second, none of our candidates are the subject of an criminal investigation by the FBI. Tell me, were you duped by her lie about destroying top secret emails? Were you duped by her lie that she never sent or received top secret emails? Would you like to talk about the 297 emails to and from with Blumenthal, who she had been told not to deal with? Can you believe where the server was stored?
Finally, Hillary is trailing at least 3 of our candidates in head to heads is she not? But I am impressed with that staged cry during that interview. I guess we can expect that every time she drops in the polls Remember, he who laughs last laughs best and it won't be you
1
Really? Are you missing the impossibly corrupt joke Randy "Duke" Cunningham down there in San Diego? Is he still in the can or has he made it to a half way house?
The only interesting thing about this comment is that I get to point out that Gore never said that. The notion that he did is simply a fine example of the Republicans' favorite form of argument: a big lie.
2
Home, Home, Un-Deranged
O give us a home where no oiligarchs roam,
Where people may live free and well.
Where the land isn't fracked to and fro,
Where the Earth's not deranged,
Where the Climate's Unchanged,
And blue skies smile upon us all.
Where seldom is heard a plutocrat's word;
The People's House not bought with gold,
Crony Capitalism expires unmourned.
All children are healthy and whole,
No families forced onto the dole.
Voices rejoice in our land.
Where coyotes may howl,
Rickster not on the prowl.
Home, Home, Un-Deranged
O give us a home where no oiligarchs roam,
Where people may live free and well.
Where the land isn't fracked to and fro,
Where the Earth's not deranged,
Where the Climate's Unchanged,
And blue skies smile upon us all.
Where seldom is heard a plutocrat's word;
The People's House not bought with gold,
Crony Capitalism expires unmourned.
All children are healthy and whole,
No families forced onto the dole.
Voices rejoice in our land.
Where coyotes may howl,
Rickster not on the prowl.
Home, Home, Un-Deranged
15
And the life lesson from this hard landing is.....never-ever go after leadership or direction of the University of Texas at Austin from the Governor's chair. Too big to fail? Not.
3
And speaking of hard landings, it always astonished me that this guy actually learned to fly an airplane. Whew! Makes me want to keep my feet firmly planted on terra firma.
So, that’s it? Rick Perry has dropped out of the race before we even got the chance to knock him around a little. It doesn’t seem fair.
Perry found himself at the opposite end of the polling numbers to Donald Trump and had to resign, as they say in chess. The relative popularity of Perry and Trump is exactly the opposite of the quality of their hairdos. Rick Perry wins that contest hands down. No cantilevered pompadour for him.
Gail Collins compares the hapless and staffless Perry to “a Labrador retriever being pulled around by a helium balloon attached to his collar.” It seems like only yesterday in the race for the 2012 nomination that Ms. Collins was remarking at how Perry’s huge chest loomed over the podium like a balloon float in a parade.
At least Rick Perry did not resemble a retriever strapped to the top of the family car on its way to Canada. At least his big chest hasn’t slipped down to his beltline the way Trump’s obviously has.
The gallant defender of Carly Fiorina is riding off into the Texas sunset. She’ll have to face Trump alone.
Perry found himself at the opposite end of the polling numbers to Donald Trump and had to resign, as they say in chess. The relative popularity of Perry and Trump is exactly the opposite of the quality of their hairdos. Rick Perry wins that contest hands down. No cantilevered pompadour for him.
Gail Collins compares the hapless and staffless Perry to “a Labrador retriever being pulled around by a helium balloon attached to his collar.” It seems like only yesterday in the race for the 2012 nomination that Ms. Collins was remarking at how Perry’s huge chest loomed over the podium like a balloon float in a parade.
At least Rick Perry did not resemble a retriever strapped to the top of the family car on its way to Canada. At least his big chest hasn’t slipped down to his beltline the way Trump’s obviously has.
The gallant defender of Carly Fiorina is riding off into the Texas sunset. She’ll have to face Trump alone.
5
So, 1 out of this long line up of gop radicals has quit. What a waste to devote a column to such a non event. It's all noise. Most of these candidates are like actors playing a role. The big donors are the producers who hire script writers and directors to create their candidates’ personas for the media. The debates are their big production numbers. Most of them are shame on US democracy.
There are so many issues out there crying to be hashed out, explained, exposed, reformed. But Times columnists avoid these, and are fascinated by the personalities, the horse race, and who is up/down this week, The polling is hyped on TV until the next commercial break—“Stay with us!” they say. I’m dropping out. We have to look elsewhere to find anything interesting and real.
There are so many issues out there crying to be hashed out, explained, exposed, reformed. But Times columnists avoid these, and are fascinated by the personalities, the horse race, and who is up/down this week, The polling is hyped on TV until the next commercial break—“Stay with us!” they say. I’m dropping out. We have to look elsewhere to find anything interesting and real.
5
Unfortunately, Meredith, it is real!
In engineering we would call this a regression to the mean. But, this cast of characters rises to the top of the scale, when narcissism is considered the essential quality.
Yes, Gail is great with jokes. Many readers like to joke. But you're right, on election day, the jokes on us!
In engineering we would call this a regression to the mean. But, this cast of characters rises to the top of the scale, when narcissism is considered the essential quality.
Yes, Gail is great with jokes. Many readers like to joke. But you're right, on election day, the jokes on us!
3
If only Rick had strapped the family dog to the top of the car, he'd have been a perfect candidate!
10
"... the Republican race is now totally lacking in candidates who claimed to have shot a coyote while jogging." Ms. Collins, thank you so much. I LOVE to sit at my computer and snort out loud!
Heather Collins
Heather Collins
15
Very much missed you, Gail Collins! A garland of Republican clowns has to be illuminated by your descriptions. I saw one brief announcement that you were away on book leave. Details welcome!
I cannot visualize the Texas political morass without remembering a Texan friend who stepped on a land mine in Vietnam in 1970.
He was the son of a UT Austin faculty member. His was a brilliant mind. He wrote well and could have done so professionally. He connected with people deeply as individuals in a rare way. He planned law school and hoped to enter politics, among his other interests.
I know no better measure of the perils of conservative nonsense and the high cost of our needless wars than by imagining his life had he lived. I see him as Governor of Texas, rather than George W. Shrub or Mr. Perry. The timing would have been right, and the alternative universe, beautiful.
I cannot visualize the Texas political morass without remembering a Texan friend who stepped on a land mine in Vietnam in 1970.
He was the son of a UT Austin faculty member. His was a brilliant mind. He wrote well and could have done so professionally. He connected with people deeply as individuals in a rare way. He planned law school and hoped to enter politics, among his other interests.
I know no better measure of the perils of conservative nonsense and the high cost of our needless wars than by imagining his life had he lived. I see him as Governor of Texas, rather than George W. Shrub or Mr. Perry. The timing would have been right, and the alternative universe, beautiful.
20
It's great that this Texas blowhard is out of the Presidential race.
The national press never played any of the local news videos where Governor Perry was advocating Secession from the Union because he disagreed with the Federal Government. If Perry had moved up on the polls these videos should have been used against him.
Afterall, the US had one Civil War concerning Secession. Why should the nation elect a person to the US Presidency when that very same person in his official position as Governor of Texas had previously and publicly advocated Secession from the Union.
The national press never played any of the local news videos where Governor Perry was advocating Secession from the Union because he disagreed with the Federal Government. If Perry had moved up on the polls these videos should have been used against him.
Afterall, the US had one Civil War concerning Secession. Why should the nation elect a person to the US Presidency when that very same person in his official position as Governor of Texas had previously and publicly advocated Secession from the Union.
37
"Why should the nation elect a person to the US Presidency when that very same person in his official position as Governor of Texas had previously and publicly advocated Secession from the Union."
Because this time around a lot more Americans respond to secession threats from places like Texas with "Good riddance" rather than "Oh no, we must preserve the Union"?
Because this time around a lot more Americans respond to secession threats from places like Texas with "Good riddance" rather than "Oh no, we must preserve the Union"?
Ms. Collins, the heck with what Dr. House calls "idiots". I would vote for you as anything from dogcatcher to National League MVP (sorry, Cespedes)
You have an extraordinary perspective on "truthiness". Thank you. I can't wait for your Trump column. Go for it!
You have an extraordinary perspective on "truthiness". Thank you. I can't wait for your Trump column. Go for it!
36
Rick Perry is no worse than at least 15 other people running for President this election cycle. Really, almost every one of them is more embarrassing than the next. If they weren't so full of themselves, so tone deaf and so devoid of rational policy ideas I might even manage to feel sorry for them. I hope many more of them drop out soon and go into the used car business where they belong.
71
I should have included this in my earlier comment.
"During one down period, I referred to him in print as a “financially embattled thousandaire” and he sent me a copy of the column with my picture circled and “The Face of a Dog!” written over it."
From your column on April 1st 2011
"During one down period, I referred to him in print as a “financially embattled thousandaire” and he sent me a copy of the column with my picture circled and “The Face of a Dog!” written over it."
From your column on April 1st 2011
11
I understand he’s going on to stage a state-wide STOP-the-rain prayer vigil. But he’s claiming divine favor for the granting of prayers FOUR YEARS late. A man with patience could make some killings off Perry in the stock market.
And then there were only 876.
The example four years ago of Perry sitting on top of the polls crashing and burning largely over one Forrest Gump moment on a debate stage could be a learnable image for The Donald. But, then, people EXPECT Trump to make outrageously offensive comments – it’s the greater part of his charm, so he’s not really on the hook for appearing intelligent and knowledgeable. That was Perry’s mistake: seriously auditioning for a role he’d be badly miscast to play.
And the success of Texas has little to do with the governor – maybe something to do with the legislature, but not the governor. More than any OTHER factor is California’s insistence on chasing out small businesses tired of paying some of the most crippling taxes in America, dealing with some of the most oppressive regulation, and regular, middle-income people who can’t afford the state’s housing costs. Over 247,000 more workers moved out of CA than moved in between 2007 and 2013 (http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-california-migration-20150101-stor.... Then, of course, they may not have water for more than the residents of Brentwood and Carmel by the end of the year.
Wake me up in nine months, when the circus has packed up and it’s obviously Hillary against Jeb.
And then there were only 876.
The example four years ago of Perry sitting on top of the polls crashing and burning largely over one Forrest Gump moment on a debate stage could be a learnable image for The Donald. But, then, people EXPECT Trump to make outrageously offensive comments – it’s the greater part of his charm, so he’s not really on the hook for appearing intelligent and knowledgeable. That was Perry’s mistake: seriously auditioning for a role he’d be badly miscast to play.
And the success of Texas has little to do with the governor – maybe something to do with the legislature, but not the governor. More than any OTHER factor is California’s insistence on chasing out small businesses tired of paying some of the most crippling taxes in America, dealing with some of the most oppressive regulation, and regular, middle-income people who can’t afford the state’s housing costs. Over 247,000 more workers moved out of CA than moved in between 2007 and 2013 (http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-california-migration-20150101-stor.... Then, of course, they may not have water for more than the residents of Brentwood and Carmel by the end of the year.
Wake me up in nine months, when the circus has packed up and it’s obviously Hillary against Jeb.
5
After the emergence of Sarah Palin all of America was entitled to ask, how stupid was too stupid to be a leader of the new, ultra right, Republican Party.
Well Rick Perry has now answered that question. You are too stupid to be the Republican candidate for President if you can't count to three.
Well Rick Perry has now answered that question. You are too stupid to be the Republican candidate for President if you can't count to three.
95
"Weird year" is right. Weird conservative voters, who make a superhero out of a man who has as much character and intelligence as a cardboard cutout, then who totally abandon him overnight—when he hasn’t changed one bit.
Very weird how Republicans keep reiterating that they have a choice of brilliant candidates. Choice of brilliant self-delusionists and con-artists, more like.
Very weird how Republicans keep reiterating that they have a choice of brilliant candidates. Choice of brilliant self-delusionists and con-artists, more like.
158
Now he can work on his indictment. Can you imagine if he won the GOP nomination but was tried and convicted for abuse of power. He really never had a chance with that hanging over his head.
18
Poor Rick Perry! I am so sad he is leaving. We still have plenty of other clowns running, but Perry was the best by far. Perry and Trump would have made such a great republican ticket.
25
You would think that more of the Republican hopefuls would quit to avoid further embarrassment. I know it's early, but when you are polling at 2% or less, why not make a graceful exit?
186
Can they keep the PAC money if they leave the race? I suspect most are playing this for the dough, the reality show, the Fox appearances... or can so many repub pols be so delusional? That is weird.
Can one make money running for president if they are polling at 1 or 2 per cent? I can't think of any other reason to stay in and be mortified. Take Lindsey Graham. Does he really, really think he has a chance? Can he be that delusional? Huckabee wants his face plastered everywhere, he's beyond bizarre, but are they all delusional? Is it money making and being on Morning Joe? I don't get it.
It's always easy to ridicule a person. Both sides do it. Here Rick Perry gets roasted. On the conservative side Hillary Rodham Clinton gets toasted. It's fun, and it's easy.
But my feeling is these defining moments -- like Rick Perry's "Oops" and Hillary Clinton's "you mean, wipe it like with a cloth?" -- are not really the reasons people lose interest. People just do, and then blame it on something.
I just think people in 2012 lost interest in Rick Perry even before the debate debacle, and that people lost interest this year in Hillary Clinton before her hand wiped through the empty air. Fate is fickle, and fads fell the unfortunate without any real reason.
Who knows who the fickle finger of fate will next single out for falling from favor. Can we hope that it's Donald Trump? That's what I do. Then we can blame it all on Carly Fiorina's face.
But my feeling is these defining moments -- like Rick Perry's "Oops" and Hillary Clinton's "you mean, wipe it like with a cloth?" -- are not really the reasons people lose interest. People just do, and then blame it on something.
I just think people in 2012 lost interest in Rick Perry even before the debate debacle, and that people lost interest this year in Hillary Clinton before her hand wiped through the empty air. Fate is fickle, and fads fell the unfortunate without any real reason.
Who knows who the fickle finger of fate will next single out for falling from favor. Can we hope that it's Donald Trump? That's what I do. Then we can blame it all on Carly Fiorina's face.
19
'It's always easy to ridicule a person.'
Some more than others.
I do agree that the there is a proverbial straw that broke the camel's back, but the camel wouldn't collapse if he hadn't been gradually loaded with a whole lot of luggage.
Children born on the day Bill Clinton announced his candidacy for president, thus putting Hillary on a national stage, are now old enough to drink legally. Although Perry didn't go national nearly as long ago, we got a pretty good look at him.
Some more than others.
I do agree that the there is a proverbial straw that broke the camel's back, but the camel wouldn't collapse if he hadn't been gradually loaded with a whole lot of luggage.
Children born on the day Bill Clinton announced his candidacy for president, thus putting Hillary on a national stage, are now old enough to drink legally. Although Perry didn't go national nearly as long ago, we got a pretty good look at him.
1
REJOHNSMITHSON: First, the average person, whether he or she be in the U.K. the US, or "la belle France," has always shown little to no interest in politics or in the history of his own country. Some years ago a poll was taken in Great Britain which revealed that the majority of those "sounded," or asked, believed that the United States was still under British colonial rule, and that the Germans bombed PEARL HARBOR.Ask the average person about MUNICH, and he will not tell u about the MUNICH PACT(1938) in which the Allies tried to appease Germany by ceding the SUDETENLAND, but reply that its a great place to drink beer at OKTOBERFEST. The truth is that people in general do not have an interest in history or politics because they r too busy taking care of the quotidian. One last example; A Spanish friend of mine, college educated, took it as an article of faith that Charlemagne wrote the MAGNA CARTA, since Charlemagne in Spanish translates as "Carlomagna!"Jefferson's dream of a well educated electorate as the cornerstone of a well functioning democracy was just that, an illusion.I remember walking along 78h Street years ago with LIZ KRUEGER, to whom I am deeply grateful for having saved an abandoned dog from the pound-see my video, "Senator Krueger and my dog,"--and telling me, "I don't care who u vote for, just vote!"People must get involved to insure that democracy does not fail,but it is difficult to convince them of that.
1
Every time I place a call to see if a technician can fix the laundry-room in this building, or for help at the bank because the rent check has not been cashed and I wonder if it is 'Free Maintenance for the Rich', I get Texas. All roads, with dead coyotes, lead to Texas?
Today I told a helpful assistant to leave early and was just about to say 'you won't get fired' when I realized that Trump has confiscated this cheerful line and that I couldn't use it anymore.
I still haven't spoken to the Governor, and to the honest, I had forgotten all about him, until earlier today his face surfaced on my PC where I get all kinds of news whether I like it, or not. A sighting of his spectacles reminded me that I was overdue to see the eye doctor, and a line underneath his serious expression read that he was beginning to see that some things were not clear? I did wonder 'what took you so long'.
In the meantime, business does seem to be booming in Texas and credit should be given to the Governor who may not only be thinking what a weird year this has been, but what a life!
Today I told a helpful assistant to leave early and was just about to say 'you won't get fired' when I realized that Trump has confiscated this cheerful line and that I couldn't use it anymore.
I still haven't spoken to the Governor, and to the honest, I had forgotten all about him, until earlier today his face surfaced on my PC where I get all kinds of news whether I like it, or not. A sighting of his spectacles reminded me that I was overdue to see the eye doctor, and a line underneath his serious expression read that he was beginning to see that some things were not clear? I did wonder 'what took you so long'.
In the meantime, business does seem to be booming in Texas and credit should be given to the Governor who may not only be thinking what a weird year this has been, but what a life!
5
Rick Perry, one of the greatest nincompoops the political world has ever known, has exited stage Oops.
The Texas governor with all the gravitas of a souvenir keychain has decided to call it Oops.
He gave us many moments of stupid Texan joy and wisdom, where they have an assembly line in Austin that produces intellectually bankrupt governors with a folksy, idiotic twist to make y'all feel right at home and stupid.
Following the explosion and sinking of the BP-Transocean-Haliburton Deepwater Horizon oil rig and sea-floor oil gusher in 2010 that killed eleven people - the largest marine oil spill in the history of the petroleum industry - Oops Perry said "from time to time there are going to be things that occur that are acts of God that cannot be prevented..."
Acts of God...Acts of British Petroleum Corporation,,,.what's the difference ?
Here's Perry in 2012 butchering the election calendar and the eligible voting age: "Those of you that will be 21 by November the 12th, I ask for your support and your vote."
The election was Nov. 6. The voting age was 18.
And here's historian Rick Perry; "The reason that we fought the American Revolution in the 16th century — was to get away from that kind of onerous crown, if you will."
What's two centuries between idiots, anyway, right Rick ?
"George W. Bush did a incredible job in the presidency, defending us from freedom." – Rick Perry in 2010
Yes, Rick, freedom is a very nasty enemy.
We will all miss this Texas village idiot.
The Texas governor with all the gravitas of a souvenir keychain has decided to call it Oops.
He gave us many moments of stupid Texan joy and wisdom, where they have an assembly line in Austin that produces intellectually bankrupt governors with a folksy, idiotic twist to make y'all feel right at home and stupid.
Following the explosion and sinking of the BP-Transocean-Haliburton Deepwater Horizon oil rig and sea-floor oil gusher in 2010 that killed eleven people - the largest marine oil spill in the history of the petroleum industry - Oops Perry said "from time to time there are going to be things that occur that are acts of God that cannot be prevented..."
Acts of God...Acts of British Petroleum Corporation,,,.what's the difference ?
Here's Perry in 2012 butchering the election calendar and the eligible voting age: "Those of you that will be 21 by November the 12th, I ask for your support and your vote."
The election was Nov. 6. The voting age was 18.
And here's historian Rick Perry; "The reason that we fought the American Revolution in the 16th century — was to get away from that kind of onerous crown, if you will."
What's two centuries between idiots, anyway, right Rick ?
"George W. Bush did a incredible job in the presidency, defending us from freedom." – Rick Perry in 2010
Yes, Rick, freedom is a very nasty enemy.
We will all miss this Texas village idiot.
539
Just out of curiousity;how many village idiots do they have in Texas,and why do they continue to elect only idiots for their governors?I thought GWB was an oversight.but there seems to be no end to this.Also every one of these seventeen GOp cacdidates claim that God told them to run for President.Why do so many people actually believe that God is that narrow minded?Since god already knows what the outcome of this disaster will be,why on earth would he tell so many bumbling fools to apply for the same job?
5
Thank you, Socrates, for that wonderful wrap-up of quotes from the poor, befuddled Mr. Oops Perry. Actually, I remember beginning to dislike him intensely when the name of his family's 'ranch' was exposed. It was sickening to me and to lots of other folks, I think. He was Oops with a large tinge of racism.
6
Absolutely outstanding!
1
This is not a sad day for Republican stupidity. The metastasis of stupidly in that party is spreading rapidly. Plenty of people can raise the banner of stupidity and fly the stupid flag high. Santorum is still in the race and that story about his taking the dead baby home and letting the family sleep with it gave my family nightmares. Bush is still in the race and his plan for lowering everyone's taxes is a lock in for higher deficits and greater economic inequality, therefore just about the stupidest economic plan that could be contemplated today. Except for the economic plans of Cruz and Ruby who think the American economic engine can still run after they've turned the country into a theocracy.
239
Mike Huckabee,who talks like he wants to establish a type of Christian Sheria as the law of the land is still in the running to provide such stupidity as touting a four times married woman as the defender of the sanctity of marriage.Jeb continues to prove that Shrub is actually the articulate of the 2 brothers.Yes,still lots of GOP stupidity to look forward to.
4
Santorum took a dead baby home and the family canoodled it? I am afraid, very afraid to Google this. I was laughing at the clown car looping around the ring but my chin is starting to tremble.....
Yea! Eventually, it'll all come down to the one most sensible candidate from either party. The one who when elected president will allow a nervous nation to have a good nights rest - because we'll know in our hearts that he - yes, a "he" - has the reins of power in his mature hands.
Nooo - it's not old odd-ball Bernie - despite all those silly commenters rooting for him. LOL - he's never gonna elected beyond Vermont; and his rooters would quickly learn that fact if they would simply, for a moment, step away from the ivory towers of extreme liberalism in New York, Mass, etc.. Nooo - It's John Kasich - loved by Ohioans. The more middle road Americans learn about Kasich the greater will be their desire for his serving. No other brings such broad and capable government experience; and none have his maturity and honesty.
Aren't you sick of the divisiveness an election of a Bernie or - gawd forbid - a Hillary is certain to inflict upon us? Who hasn't had enough of this pain? Really, wouldn't you feel good with John as the nation's leader? Isn't it better for the country to finally have a president without an agenda? Then start rooting for Kasich.
Nooo - it's not old odd-ball Bernie - despite all those silly commenters rooting for him. LOL - he's never gonna elected beyond Vermont; and his rooters would quickly learn that fact if they would simply, for a moment, step away from the ivory towers of extreme liberalism in New York, Mass, etc.. Nooo - It's John Kasich - loved by Ohioans. The more middle road Americans learn about Kasich the greater will be their desire for his serving. No other brings such broad and capable government experience; and none have his maturity and honesty.
Aren't you sick of the divisiveness an election of a Bernie or - gawd forbid - a Hillary is certain to inflict upon us? Who hasn't had enough of this pain? Really, wouldn't you feel good with John as the nation's leader? Isn't it better for the country to finally have a president without an agenda? Then start rooting for Kasich.
2
Really, wouldn't you feel good with John as the nation's leader?
No.
No.
12
Kasich is just another Romney, Hedge Fund, taker and user!
11
"Really, wouldn't you feel good with John as the nation's leader?"
NO. I will not feel better. I will not vote for anyone who is so opposed to women's rights. And since women make up more than 50% of the population, Kasich's appeal is to those men who are, ultimately, fighting a losing battle.
NO. I will not feel better. I will not vote for anyone who is so opposed to women's rights. And since women make up more than 50% of the population, Kasich's appeal is to those men who are, ultimately, fighting a losing battle.
14
And we should all remember that God told him to run. I wonder what God had in mind at the time.
101
How do you think that message was communicated? USPS, a government agency?
3
A book deal.
1
God DOES have a sense of humor.
1
A weird year indeed. Once again, the GOP is showing that it has no real concept of democracy or republicanism, as it were, and seems to be running on its own old and tired shibboleths and maniacal publicity-seeking (Trump). In the end, they are going to hit the wall again, because I do believe that a majority of the voting electorate does actually get its neurons working before voting.
38
As amusing as Perry's candidacy and departure are, let's not forget that there IS an electorate out there that put him in the Texas governor's office and the ideology of that electorate has infected people across our nation. It is not enough to watch with a sense of satisfaction as the Republican candidates go down in flames; their supporters remain a potent disease upon our governance since they continue to send terribly infected persons to congress, even if they fail to infect our presidency.
Putting Bernie Sanders in the White House will prevent the worst of the Republican infection from spreading, but just as in Obama's presidency, Bernie will not cure our governance unless we deal with the Republican disease running rampant in our congress. Sadly, the infected people are beyond education, beyond treatment. We need to overturn Citizens United which funds and spreads the infection, and we need to fight the gerrymandering that has made the infection incurable. While we enjoy our laughter at Perry et al, let's act to stamp out the disease.
Putting Bernie Sanders in the White House will prevent the worst of the Republican infection from spreading, but just as in Obama's presidency, Bernie will not cure our governance unless we deal with the Republican disease running rampant in our congress. Sadly, the infected people are beyond education, beyond treatment. We need to overturn Citizens United which funds and spreads the infection, and we need to fight the gerrymandering that has made the infection incurable. While we enjoy our laughter at Perry et al, let's act to stamp out the disease.
431
Can't recommend this Comment as highly as it deserves. We have fourteen agonizing months to figure this out. May not be long enough.
1
Sadly, overturning Citizens United needs to be done by Congress. What are the odds that Repubs will even consider a bill to outlaw their own gravy train?
Perhaps by 2020, when Representative districts are redrawn, there might be an outside chance of restoring sanity, but don't hold your breath.
The entrenched Birchers (Koch bros et al) have been working on their take-over for decades. Remember, all politics is local. Look who owns most state houses. That's who'll be drawing the districts in 2020.
Perhaps by 2020, when Representative districts are redrawn, there might be an outside chance of restoring sanity, but don't hold your breath.
The entrenched Birchers (Koch bros et al) have been working on their take-over for decades. Remember, all politics is local. Look who owns most state houses. That's who'll be drawing the districts in 2020.
1
Well JABarry, that isn't fair. If you look at who votes and how many citizens bother to vote at all, the blame or credit for who gets into office falls to the non-voters. When the GOP took control of the House, it was the result of 19% voting for the GOP and 16.3% voting for the Democrats. Altogether, those voting at all amounted to 40.1% of all eligible voters. If Americans are too busy watching TV or playing video games or mall shopping, etc to vote, then we all get what they deserve.
1
Sadly, the rest of the Republican field share many of the attitudes of Rick Perry. And while Perry may sound more stupid than the other 16 candidates--in a toe to toe match up on the so called issues-you really wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
141
Candidate Jindal said it all when he called the GOP the "stupid party" and then registered with that party to run for office, thus fitting right in.
I was so glad that Ms collins didn't point out that Mr Perry is under indictment for improper use of his authority while Governor. It would indeed be cheap of us to remind each other that these charges were brought , not by the wretched Liberals but rather by fellow republicans who were tired of Mr Perry's Emperor Complex. Just because this derogatory information is true doesn't mean it has to be pointed out every time Mr Perry is mentioned.
200
>;)(
According to the Fed, Texas' oil and gas make up only about 10% of the state's GDP. Crediting an oil boom with Texas' economic performance in the last decade is woefully out of date. Collins needs to take another trip to TX.
1
Thank you , Gail for another hilarious article. Maybe you could be at the future debates so that the other candidates could be asked if abstinence works from their personal experiences ?
46
Speaking for all of us.... So glad your back! As to Rick Perry....thought he was already long gone! What a pleasure to find you back!
39
Good news. Texas, for a while at least, will not get another opportunity to inflict more damage to the nation.
67
Ted Cruz is still out there.
2
What about Ted Cruz?
2
Rick Perry--gone?
Gail Collins--back?
That's a recipe for a better 'Merica. Welcome back, Gail!
Gail Collins--back?
That's a recipe for a better 'Merica. Welcome back, Gail!
201
So Rick Perry's PAC wasn't coordinating with or contributing to his campaign? I await the declaration of an Election Law Miracle by Pope Francis when he arrives for his visit!
18
Ms. Collins:
Yes, this has been a weird year. In fact it has been a very weird century thus far. Now we know that Rick Perry will not be our next President. Yes, this was a very entertaining column and funny as usual. However, as this spectacle continues to amaze the nation with their small-mindedness on full public display our problems continue and people suffer.
I do not think that we can survive the days ahead without humor and your talents are appreciated. But, I cannot help but feel that while we chuckle we are also being distracted from what is at stake. We are truly in sad shape
as a society. I am getting tired of coverage of the clown car, as many are wont to call this pathetic group of presidential aspirants.
Surely, you can put your humorists touch to work on something more positive
and relevant. The only candidate who is campaigning seriously right now is Bernie Sanders, who seems to scare everyone away from him, left and right.
in the world of politics and punditry. Everyone that is except the tens of thousands who have shown up at his rallies.
Mr. Sanders, too, has been treated like the punchline for a joke that I am unaware of. Perhaps, you can find some humor in the denial of his campaign's significanceby so many experts. Lately, it seems that it is obligatory for every Times columnist to write a column on Mr. Trump. Many are wondering if it is also an obligation for those writers not to mention Mr. Sanders. Seriously, this is not funny.
Yes, this has been a weird year. In fact it has been a very weird century thus far. Now we know that Rick Perry will not be our next President. Yes, this was a very entertaining column and funny as usual. However, as this spectacle continues to amaze the nation with their small-mindedness on full public display our problems continue and people suffer.
I do not think that we can survive the days ahead without humor and your talents are appreciated. But, I cannot help but feel that while we chuckle we are also being distracted from what is at stake. We are truly in sad shape
as a society. I am getting tired of coverage of the clown car, as many are wont to call this pathetic group of presidential aspirants.
Surely, you can put your humorists touch to work on something more positive
and relevant. The only candidate who is campaigning seriously right now is Bernie Sanders, who seems to scare everyone away from him, left and right.
in the world of politics and punditry. Everyone that is except the tens of thousands who have shown up at his rallies.
Mr. Sanders, too, has been treated like the punchline for a joke that I am unaware of. Perhaps, you can find some humor in the denial of his campaign's significanceby so many experts. Lately, it seems that it is obligatory for every Times columnist to write a column on Mr. Trump. Many are wondering if it is also an obligation for those writers not to mention Mr. Sanders. Seriously, this is not funny.
83
Rick Perry always reminded me of Jerry Lewis without the redeeming stability of Dean Martin. He was lighter than air, or perhaps helium - but equally combustable.
On another note, I have missed Gail Collins presence on these pages, and the idea of another 14 months of grotesque election season without her wit would be unbearable.
On another note, I have missed Gail Collins presence on these pages, and the idea of another 14 months of grotesque election season without her wit would be unbearable.
49
Perhaps you meant to say"Hydrogen", not helium?
I was trying to picture a Labrador retriever strapped to a car roof, with a helium balloon attached to its collar. Is that too much animal cruelty for one column?
11
In 2012, he was too Texan too soon.
This time too little Texas (glasses and no come-and-take-it boots) too late
This time too little Texas (glasses and no come-and-take-it boots) too late
8
Oh Well, He can always get a group together and go invade West Texas. They have been expecting it for some time, and it will give the ex-Gov something to do with his time.
35
Liberty and Freedom have marched their way out of the building. We'll miss ye...Rick.
13
Easy to kick him when he's down. Sure he never really seemed like he had a shot, and it's better that he's out instead of puttering around with, what, 2% in the polls wasting others' time and money.
It's just a bit juvenile and underhanded to be so smug about someone who's got to deal with rich donors who believed in him and have nothing to show.
Most of us don't have the courage (or delusional mind state, maybe) to put ourselves out in the open like that.
So, Gail, maybe it's your thing to pick on the vulnerable politicians on their way out, but you could do better. (Lots of pundits and writers do it, I know.)
It's just a bit juvenile and underhanded to be so smug about someone who's got to deal with rich donors who believed in him and have nothing to show.
Most of us don't have the courage (or delusional mind state, maybe) to put ourselves out in the open like that.
So, Gail, maybe it's your thing to pick on the vulnerable politicians on their way out, but you could do better. (Lots of pundits and writers do it, I know.)
3
Aww, poor little Rickie- what will he do? He's so helpless and alone in the world!
Be fair! Gail kicked him when he was up, too, and so many of us were cheering all the way like we're cheering this column!
Yes, Texas job growth has reflected all that oil underneath the undeveloped land. But now that oil prices are down, a lot of the oil jobs are being eliminated.
Which brings us to the other source of Texas wealth -- inheritance. Most of the wealthy people in Texas, beginning with the Bush! brothers, inherited their money. Few of them earned it.
The best way to put a little more equality into the Texas mix would be to take some of that unearned wealth among the 1% and use it for scholarships among the 99% or even the 47% that candidate Romney made famous.
To see this and other suggestions for improving the place, go to YouTube and watch Comedy Party Platform (2 min 9 sec). Then send a buck or two to Bernie Sanders and invite me to speak to your group. Thanks.
Which brings us to the other source of Texas wealth -- inheritance. Most of the wealthy people in Texas, beginning with the Bush! brothers, inherited their money. Few of them earned it.
The best way to put a little more equality into the Texas mix would be to take some of that unearned wealth among the 1% and use it for scholarships among the 99% or even the 47% that candidate Romney made famous.
To see this and other suggestions for improving the place, go to YouTube and watch Comedy Party Platform (2 min 9 sec). Then send a buck or two to Bernie Sanders and invite me to speak to your group. Thanks.
28
Don Trump was right: You can put a pair of eyeglasses on the guy, and he's still stupid. Who will be the next most stupid Repo to drop out? One down, 16 to go. Or is it 15?
18
I love you Gail. Ever the prick to deflate the balloon. May he fade away and never rust.
14
I don't think he even lasted long enough for a book deal.
17
Perry could still become the nation's next vice president with enough rhetorical logical flaws to make America think that it is great again. God bless Texas!
14
I am rather troubled by your poking fun at Perry's double-stich run for the President of these Unites States and the Great Country of Texas. And I did want to know which of his shoes, right or left, named Liberty? Because I am not an ultra-crepiderian I will not comment anything above the boots—may be the collar.
I know somebody else in the media who had made bad jokes about Perry before (Rachel Maddow), now she is all broken up, and singing great praises to him. I say, Phoey! It is too late.
I know somebody else in the media who had made bad jokes about Perry before (Rachel Maddow), now she is all broken up, and singing great praises to him. I say, Phoey! It is too late.
3
hahah. The ky-yote wrangler in smart-boy glasses took his last tumble. I see him waking bolt upright up in the middle night a week from now proclaiming "Energy Martha, I remember now, it was energy energy! Can I get back in the race"
8
All snark aside, for the moment, I do have two positive memories of Rick Perry's campaigns:
1. The man was dead on when he recently talked about Trump - even if it's likely he was not the true author of those remarks.
2. Actually, I always thought his "ooops" was kind of endearing.
1. The man was dead on when he recently talked about Trump - even if it's likely he was not the true author of those remarks.
2. Actually, I always thought his "ooops" was kind of endearing.
73
And Trump was dead on re: Perry and his glasses. Trying to look smart. "People see right though that."
Luckily for us, we still have Sarah Palin cheering for Donald Trump. What a love fest. She may be rewarded with a Cabinet position as head of the Energy Department, target of Perry's "oops"- since God "dumped all those minerals" for her to adopt as her latest "baby." Then once she is the Energy Momma in chief, she will immediately dispose of the department she heads.
The Republicans are the party that simply keeps on giving comics a reason to get up in the morning.
The Republicans are the party that simply keeps on giving comics a reason to get up in the morning.
33
I actually suspect that Mr. Trump intends to get rid of the cabinet as we know it as soon as he becomes president. He will name Ivanka to the role of vice-president, create an Apprentice-like body to oversee various departments and, within a year, agree to give in to popular demand and crown himself king of America.
One GOP clown down 63 to go...or maybe it just seems like 63. Welcome back Gail! The "Labrador..." Comment pays homage to Seamas on the roof. If we citizens who love our country and yearn to elect politicians who will work together intelligently for the common good have lucky stars shining upon us the rest of the GOP clowns will fall in an avelanche made of they're own hatreds, ignorance and hyperbole. In the meantime, Gail is back and all is right again!
16
One buffoon down, fifteen to go.
14
I will not forget his call to prayer for rain . And of course it did not rain until he left office.
the battle cry for Texas independence was Remember the Alamo. But will they somehow forget Rick Perry as they have tried to forget GW Bush?
the battle cry for Texas independence was Remember the Alamo. But will they somehow forget Rick Perry as they have tried to forget GW Bush?
25
Perry never struck me as one who could star in his own reality TV show. Jindal no, Pataki not a shred of star quality, Jeb... please...no way. No, nobody holds a candle when it comes to Trump. Unless Sarah Palin got in the race. Can you imagine Trump and Palin on the same inevitable losing ticket! The subsequent reality show ratings they could get would be incredible! Of course this would all happen AFTER they lost in 2016. NBC, CBS, ABC are you listening?!!!
14
"If he became president he was going to cut back on the cabinet, eliminating education, commerce and, what was that? Oh, yes! — energy. The Department of Energy is still with us, but the presidential candidate is no more."
My memory is that he remembered the Departments of Education and Energy, and Commerce is the one that he forgot.
The Friday after the debate, on the NewsHour with David Brooks and Mark Shields, Mr. Brooks said that while maybe there's an argument to be made about the Dept of Commerce, and what it does--this was no way to go about it.
My memory is that he remembered the Departments of Education and Energy, and Commerce is the one that he forgot.
The Friday after the debate, on the NewsHour with David Brooks and Mark Shields, Mr. Brooks said that while maybe there's an argument to be made about the Dept of Commerce, and what it does--this was no way to go about it.
1
With fourteen long Perry-years of material to comb through, it must have been quite difficult, I imagine, for Gail to skewer but just this iceberg's tip. Sadly, though, as a former Texas resident myself during (just half!) of Perry's rule, Gail's lyrical satire cannot fully mollify my recollections of his photo-op manning a machine gun pointed at the Mexico border, his complete disrespect for the notions of separation between church and state existent in his "prayer rallies," and his near-complete dismantling of women's healthcare via having a hand in vast Planned Parenthood defundings. I am not faulting Gail, obviously, for these oversights for there are indeed far too many grave misgivings resultant from a Rick Perry reign. Perry may be "gone for good" in terms of a presidential race, but perhaps not in the minds of many a still-reeling Texan. However, Gail still managed to put a smile on my face with this one and I want to thank her for that, deep in the heart.
59
How can Rick Perry drop out of something he was never in? I want to announce I'm dropping out of the Rolling Stones.
710
Count me out too.
1
Ha Ha - best comment I've seen in a while. I will announce later today that I am dropping out of next years NFL draft.
1
Scott Walker is this year's Rick Perry. The frontrunner and favorite__until people actually saw him. Yet another shallow, empty suit totally created by big money. So via con dios, Rick! And soon, beam you up, Scottie!
The antithesis, of course, is Bernie Sanders. Small contributions, big ideas. How many reading this would disagree with a word this man has said?
It's too bad Bernie declared himself a democratic socialist (of course, 95% of people have no idea what that means, or that its basically the system we have been living under for a half century).
Because if Bernie, the class of the field, had just said "independent", he would be our next president. Sigh.
www.newyorkgritty.net
The antithesis, of course, is Bernie Sanders. Small contributions, big ideas. How many reading this would disagree with a word this man has said?
It's too bad Bernie declared himself a democratic socialist (of course, 95% of people have no idea what that means, or that its basically the system we have been living under for a half century).
Because if Bernie, the class of the field, had just said "independent", he would be our next president. Sigh.
www.newyorkgritty.net
44
Welcome back Gail, I've missed you. I hope you had a wonderful Summer. I commend Rick Peryy for exiting the Republican clown car. He exited with a modicum of self-respect. May the other clowns take note and "exit stage left!"
8
Thank god you are back!
9
When you mentioned the Labrador retriever I was sure that Seamus and his hapless trip to Canada had to be coming on. You fooled me.
I think I might place Rick Perry in the front seat of the clown car. What the Republican Party has become boggles the mind. That not one single Republican could bring him or herself to vote for the Iran agreement, not one! surprises even cynical me. As loathsome as he is, I think I would prefer Trump, or the famous thousandaire as you so wittily described him, to most of his rivals. I know he said that you had the face of the dog - you should be able to work that insult into a new gibe with a dog theme.
I think I might place Rick Perry in the front seat of the clown car. What the Republican Party has become boggles the mind. That not one single Republican could bring him or herself to vote for the Iran agreement, not one! surprises even cynical me. As loathsome as he is, I think I would prefer Trump, or the famous thousandaire as you so wittily described him, to most of his rivals. I know he said that you had the face of the dog - you should be able to work that insult into a new gibe with a dog theme.
14
Poor Rick not too bright bur as a Republican he would not be expected to think for himself. He did seem human and had a certain charm. Even a stopped clock is right once a day if it is digital clock. Rick Perry shouldn't feel too bad he soon will be joined by Jindal, Christie, Walker, Pataki and Graham. Well maybe not Walker he has the support of the Koch brothers. With the GOP polls do not count as much as money and Perry's money dried up. There is no GOP presidential horse race its an auction.
34
to sheldon b: thank you for "There is no GOP presidential horse race, it's an auction."
Gail, your turn around time is quite amazing. Perry just threw in the towel a few hours ago. I suspect that during your long break you were not only working on a book, but also writing a farewell piece for each of the GOP candidates.
Welcome back, we missed you!
Welcome back, we missed you!
30
When the loser debate gets down to one, I'll watch.
13
Without named footwear how would anybody be able to tell left from right?
39
Any resident of my state with a functioning brain would have predicted the implosion of Governor "good hair's" (Molly Ivins, how we miss you!) campaign even when he was riding high in the last election cycle. This time around it was merely a matter of selecting in the office pool the particular day on which he would throw in the towel.
His "oops" moment of truth in an early debate simply confirmed what Texans already knew. Our governor, the former cheerleader, is almost never the smartest guy in the room, even when the rest are homestate Republicans. While, in Republican terms, he is almost moderate on immigration , his robotic commitment to the conservative agenda on virtually every other issue stems from an instinctive lack of reflection that rivals that of George W. Bush.
His success in repeatedly winning reelection in Texas tells you all you need to know about the nature of political competition in the Lone Star state. That success fooled him into thinking he could imitate Bush by using the governorship as a springboard to national power.
Even so, if he had not done substantial harm to the people of Texas (for example, by refusing to expand Medicaid), I might share Gail Collins' amused regret in witnessing his departure from the race. As it is, I relish his humiliation.
His "oops" moment of truth in an early debate simply confirmed what Texans already knew. Our governor, the former cheerleader, is almost never the smartest guy in the room, even when the rest are homestate Republicans. While, in Republican terms, he is almost moderate on immigration , his robotic commitment to the conservative agenda on virtually every other issue stems from an instinctive lack of reflection that rivals that of George W. Bush.
His success in repeatedly winning reelection in Texas tells you all you need to know about the nature of political competition in the Lone Star state. That success fooled him into thinking he could imitate Bush by using the governorship as a springboard to national power.
Even so, if he had not done substantial harm to the people of Texas (for example, by refusing to expand Medicaid), I might share Gail Collins' amused regret in witnessing his departure from the race. As it is, I relish his humiliation.
88
Clearly, Rick was the best that Texas had to offer up for the 2016 race.
13
Dump Trump!
Even though he is smarter than the rest of the Republican pack
Even though he is smarter than the rest of the Republican pack
7
Really, what business did Rick Perry ever have portraying himself as a possible President? He called Social Security a ponzi scheme and blamed Washington for his state's problems, like high numbers of uninsured. He rejected science and publicly prayed for rain. He calls himself pro-life, but was at the helm of the state with the highest executions. He actually had taken an initiative, as Governor, requiring Gardasil vaccinations (a laudable goal, whatever his motives) which he later seemed embarrassed by, just as he did his wife's work with rape victims. His once-respectful treatment of immigrants changed with competition to scapegoat them. Rick Perry is no leader and forgetting that third department to close was the least of it.
423
I am no Perry supporter - never have been - but he is dead-on about the current state of Social Security. "A Ponzi scheme is a fraudulent investment operation where the operator, an individual or organization, pays returns to its investors from new capital paid to the operators by new investors, rather than from profit earned by the operator"
That is exactly the shape of the Social Security system. More is being paid out than is earned or being contributed and the rate of depletion is increasing. Hope you are not young and expecting to collect any of the money you are paying in...
That is exactly the shape of the Social Security system. More is being paid out than is earned or being contributed and the rate of depletion is increasing. Hope you are not young and expecting to collect any of the money you are paying in...
Rick Perry is worth millions. Yet he stopped paying his campaign workers who I would guess were working extremely long hours for menial pay. Come on Rick, dip into your money and do the honorable thing by paying your workers.
61
Maybe Hillary Clinton will start paying her female staffers the same as her male staffers since she didn't do that in the Senate. And given the fact that the Foundation is nothing more than a vehicle to launder money directly to the Clinton's she has it.
Rick, we hardly knew ye. Oh, it seems like just yesterday, but it was 2007, that we heard tell of this Texas gunslinger who was going whip the Federal Reserve and Obama with one hand tied behind his Evangelical backside. Now, he's on the manure pile with Giuliani, Palin, Gingrich, Cain, Bachman and the rest of the gang that couldn't shoot straight. All beaten to the draw by Obama the Kid.
33
After Rick Perry's out-of-line comment that Wendy Davis should know better from her own life than to be pro-choice, I am doubly glad that he is out. There's still more than enough vituperous talk (especially from He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named), but Perry was due a rebuke.
22
The glasses didn't help Rick Perry. I guess he didn't have the right contacts.
22
"Freedom," "Liberty"---
These boots were made for walking...
Into the sunset.
These boots were made for walking...
Into the sunset.
30
"There is nothing wrong in America today that a change in leadership won’t make happen." --Rick Perry
How Molly Ivins would have enjoyed all this!
How Molly Ivins would have enjoyed all this!
144
Alas, we find ourselves without a dog on the roof of the car or a dead coyote on a jog.
We will never again see Rick Perry cuddle a syrup bottle.
However we will see many, many, many more gaffes and oddities from other GOP candidates, no doubt.
Perhaps Cruz will find the time to stop Reaganizing and play the Texas Ranger card. After all, he is the last Texan (AFAIK) on the GOP roster.
Or maybe Rick will return with a British accent, tweed suit, and pipe in 2020, in a final attempt to make himself look smart.
We will never again see Rick Perry cuddle a syrup bottle.
However we will see many, many, many more gaffes and oddities from other GOP candidates, no doubt.
Perhaps Cruz will find the time to stop Reaganizing and play the Texas Ranger card. After all, he is the last Texan (AFAIK) on the GOP roster.
Or maybe Rick will return with a British accent, tweed suit, and pipe in 2020, in a final attempt to make himself look smart.
19
Although Perry once received "The Top Cowboy of Texas" award from the American Cowboy Culture Association, some consider him a lousy Texan. He never played football!!!!
Perry supports the death penalty except for the special case of "abuse of official capacity", a first-degree felony, for which he was indicted by a Travis County grand jury. It is alleged that he threatened to veto $7.5 million in funding for the Public Integrity Unit. The unit is a state public corruption prosecutors department. But to his credit, he proved to be reliable and consistent on fighting crime when he vetoed a ban on the execution of mentally retarded inmates.
During Perry's governorship, Texas became had the highest proportion of uninsured residents with a 26.8% rate. After Obamacare it dropped to 24.81%. Somehow, I believe that he hates the word, health!
Perry supports the death penalty except for the special case of "abuse of official capacity", a first-degree felony, for which he was indicted by a Travis County grand jury. It is alleged that he threatened to veto $7.5 million in funding for the Public Integrity Unit. The unit is a state public corruption prosecutors department. But to his credit, he proved to be reliable and consistent on fighting crime when he vetoed a ban on the execution of mentally retarded inmates.
During Perry's governorship, Texas became had the highest proportion of uninsured residents with a 26.8% rate. After Obamacare it dropped to 24.81%. Somehow, I believe that he hates the word, health!
24
Perry was toast after the "oops" moment. I can't imagine why he even bothered this time. Politicians are an odd breed.
12
So you wonder what he's up to. No doubt he will continue to be at least a thorn in the side of the establishment.
2
Gail, your snark about Governor Perry's personal testimony in support of abstinence almost strayed beyond the bounds. Not burdened with your natural grace I'll carry the torch a little further. Wikipedia tells us "In his first book, On My Honor, published in 2008, Perry drew a parallel between homosexuality and alcoholism, writing that he is 'no expert on the "nature versus nurture" debate' but that gays should simply choose abstinence."
8
M.C.'s younger daughter to flaminia in Los Angeles
Perry's book parallel between "homosexuality and alcoholism"
SAY WHAT?!
Perry's book parallel between "homosexuality and alcoholism"
SAY WHAT?!
Oh yes. The penknife has just begun to whittle. Down to snake oil salesmen, a couple of Elmer Gantrys, a titan of capitalism (or was it captain of a Titanic?), a MacBeth of authority, an un-evolved sturgeon, a pillar of a house of ill repute, a road scholar, and PT Barnum.
Who will they pick as the Mardi Gras King?
News Corp, News Corp uber Ailes.
Who will they pick as the Mardi Gras King?
News Corp, News Corp uber Ailes.
35
"i step aside knowing our party is in good hands". the clown car is a little less crowded but calling it in good hands is a bit of a stretch.
21
What I'm wondering is which of the Republicans will have a Rick Perry "Oops" moment this go-round. My money is on Scott Walker, but there are others in the field who are just as capable.
13
Yes indeed. Rubio has a vacant look in his eyes that betrays a lack of intelligence. I like to call him Rubio the Vacant. My bet is on him after Walker falls out.
Rick Perry finally seceded from the presidential race.
17
With W. and Oops for governors, no wonder Texas is in such great shape :-)
8
Gail, using weird is too polite. Try pathetic. Welcome to the land of the free and the home of the dumb!
15
Gail is back with us and Rick Perry is headed towards Paint Creek...the heavens have aligned.
12
One down and sixteen to go!
Yes Gail, there is a Santa!!
Yes Gail, there is a Santa!!
17
Of course, this may be the first step towards Rick Perry running for President of Texas, should he resume that plan he trotted out, as Governor, of seceding from the Union. Funnily enough, that was just before declaring his candidacy for President of the Union.
13
And so the shake-out begins. I will miss him. His presumptuousness has been truly spectacular, and his mediocrity nothing short of towering. Sorry, but those glasses wear him!
21
Now maybe Rick will go home and lobby for the Medicaid expansion he rejected as governor, leaving more than a million financially strapped Texans without health insurance -- well, I did say "maybe."
10
Another highlight of his campaign was his felony arrest. Alas, as POTUS he could have self-pardoned.
15
Can you comment on Hillary's FBI investigation? Something about violating the Espionage Act?
I join the (small) chorus of your fans who are welcoming you back. I hope you and David take up your Conversation again. I was beginning to thing the two of you might have had a falling out. I suppose it isn't allowed for you to tip us off on the book you were working on. It was a book wasn't it, and not computer solitaire?
4
I was in Iowa for an extended period in late 2011 and 2012 and thought he (Perry) would get the Rep. nomination. Then, he cratered: Education, Commerce and what was it? (It could happen to anyone.) But will it happen to Trump? Hmm. Then what? If he turns out to be the people's choice, so be it. I'll keep my fingers crossed and wish him the best.
1
With so many candidates there must be a dog angle somewhere. Dig Gail, dig!
7
You missed the Labrador retriever with the helium balloon. It was a good one!
What disappointed voters really want to know is what Perry's views are on the Fourteenth Amendment's apparent dictate that those born in the United States -- including at that time former slaves freed under the Thirteenth -- are citizens of our country. But the issue is not that important for Texans, who still proudly display not Old Glory but the flag of the Republic of Texas as a reminder that their state has the legal right to leave the USA at any time -- and then adopt whatever requirements for Texan citizenship it wants.
3
M.C.'s younger daughter here.
I got to your brilliant column yesterday after the comments section closed, therefore too late to say GREAT JOB AS USUAL! Again today, absolutely on the nose.
Gail, girl, how I've missed you! Whee!! You're back!! : )
I got to your brilliant column yesterday after the comments section closed, therefore too late to say GREAT JOB AS USUAL! Again today, absolutely on the nose.
Gail, girl, how I've missed you! Whee!! You're back!! : )
15
A few junkets to establish his foreign policy cred, the Guard to the border stunt to establish his commander in chief cred, the glasses to establish his intellectual cred, he stopped wearing the boots ... what else could he do? Oh, and the felony indictment will go away. Probably.
8
“We have a tremendous field of candidates, probably the greatest group of men and women.”
Righto, Ricko. Even you don't believe that for a second. Just buttering up the turnip that might give you a cabinet post.
Righto, Ricko. Even you don't believe that for a second. Just buttering up the turnip that might give you a cabinet post.
28
Remember when Rick Perry, channeling John C. Calhoun, took state's rights and conservatism to an obscene extreme by hinting Texas could quit the Union? Turns out that even GOP primary voters wanted to secede from him.
13
One down. But Gail, you have 16 more to go... and that's just on the (R) side.
47
Be serious. Ms. Collins will never put any significant effort into constructing parodies of Democrats. The Democrats currently have a leading candidate who is probably unelectable. Americans do not trust Hillary Clinton, and they do not like her. Clinton claims to have set up an entire personal email server in order to process her official communications for the sake of personal convenience. She claims to not have known that Top Secret materials in her emails were classified. She has made repeated attempts at manufacturing authenticity, all of which have resulted in her falling in support, favorability, and trustworthiness. She has a level of paranoia unseen on the political scene since Richard Nixon resigned, and I am probably being unfair to Nixon. In short, since announcing her candidacy, Clinton has been nothing but a joke. Yet, Ms. Collins appears to be oblivious to any of Secretary Clinton's foibles, preferring to focus on an absolute non-factor in the presidential campaign--Rick Perry.
1
We are more than a year from the national election. Give it time.
4
"Maybe if five or six other people quit, the voters will start to get focused and look at the polls like a homeowner waking up from a drunken bender and noticing a car in the living room." Ouch, I'm laughing and crying. Spot on.
248
Agreed, Ann... my stomach hurts.
4
Ditto, Ann, and after this rafter of political turkeys stop distracting us, there is hope with the help of Collins, a phoenix among pigeons, that we can start sitting up, come out of our stupor and look ahead for a president. A pal in another State did an all-nighter on a engineering project (our Country is in need of water resources), she watched the Vice-President interview Thursday evening with Colbert. He is distinguished and honorable. Thank you, kind Sir.
Although we both like the sense of Bernie Sanders, it is slowing the Democrat progress of Hillary Clinton, a hopeful with serious eyes and clear vision. Substance. This American doesn't give a blast about broken email servers. Experience with Wall Street is mandatory and our Nation needs a recognizable political face when going overseas. The French don't understand why America is not ready for leadership if it takes place under a measured and strong woman of conviction.
Apolitical with a love for America, my friend went on to say she would never serve in the White House under a Trump but would manage a Bush, which I cannot, and who will probably surge ahead in just time.
As for our animal friends, she would never put any of her five rescues, or a hamster in jeopardy. A live-wire with a zest for life, serious and vulnerable, her eyesight is clear. No need for snappy spectacles, she is quick to recognize air pollution of any kind, whether it be seen in the sky, or from some of these politicians.
Although we both like the sense of Bernie Sanders, it is slowing the Democrat progress of Hillary Clinton, a hopeful with serious eyes and clear vision. Substance. This American doesn't give a blast about broken email servers. Experience with Wall Street is mandatory and our Nation needs a recognizable political face when going overseas. The French don't understand why America is not ready for leadership if it takes place under a measured and strong woman of conviction.
Apolitical with a love for America, my friend went on to say she would never serve in the White House under a Trump but would manage a Bush, which I cannot, and who will probably surge ahead in just time.
As for our animal friends, she would never put any of her five rescues, or a hamster in jeopardy. A live-wire with a zest for life, serious and vulnerable, her eyesight is clear. No need for snappy spectacles, she is quick to recognize air pollution of any kind, whether it be seen in the sky, or from some of these politicians.
6
With thanks to Marty Robins
Out in old Texas governor Perry
Did fall quite in love politics girl
Campaign time would find him in Party cantinas
Music would play and Rick Perry would whirl
Blacker than night were the eyes of his Party
Wicked and evil while casting a spell
Rick's love was quite deep for this powerful maiden
Ya, he was in love but in vain, we could tell
Finally the wild young critics came in
Wild as the West Texas wind
Dashing and daring
Rick's thoughts they were sharing
With all who would listen
With those Rick did love
So in anger he
Challenged his right for the love of this maiden
Down went his thoughts and out bad ones did pour
His challenge was answered in less than a heart-beat
Rick's storied campaign is now dead on the floor
Just for a moment Rick stood there in silence
Shocked by the foul evil deed they had done
Many thoughts raced through his mind as he stood there
But he had but one chance and that was to run
Out through of campaigning Rick Perry has run
Out where his friendships are tied
He caught some good ones
They looked like they would run
Up on their backs
And away he did ride
Just as fast as he
Could from campaigning to Texas
But not quite as far as old New Mexico
From out of nowhere supporters have found him
Kissing his myth as they kneel by his side
Cradled by those loving arms that he'd die for
One little kiss and Rick Perry good-bye
.
Out in old Texas governor Perry
Did fall quite in love politics girl
Campaign time would find him in Party cantinas
Music would play and Rick Perry would whirl
Blacker than night were the eyes of his Party
Wicked and evil while casting a spell
Rick's love was quite deep for this powerful maiden
Ya, he was in love but in vain, we could tell
Finally the wild young critics came in
Wild as the West Texas wind
Dashing and daring
Rick's thoughts they were sharing
With all who would listen
With those Rick did love
So in anger he
Challenged his right for the love of this maiden
Down went his thoughts and out bad ones did pour
His challenge was answered in less than a heart-beat
Rick's storied campaign is now dead on the floor
Just for a moment Rick stood there in silence
Shocked by the foul evil deed they had done
Many thoughts raced through his mind as he stood there
But he had but one chance and that was to run
Out through of campaigning Rick Perry has run
Out where his friendships are tied
He caught some good ones
They looked like they would run
Up on their backs
And away he did ride
Just as fast as he
Could from campaigning to Texas
But not quite as far as old New Mexico
From out of nowhere supporters have found him
Kissing his myth as they kneel by his side
Cradled by those loving arms that he'd die for
One little kiss and Rick Perry good-bye
.
104
I think apologies to Marty Robbins would be more appropriate.
6
Where are verses 8 through 13? It's a long strange trip from running out the door to that final kiss...
2
Love your version of El Paso! Great description of the Rick Perry debacle! I'm looking forward to your next song text when another REP falls.
4
'Perry announced that Americans were tired of being bossed around and being told “how much salt we can put on our food, what windows we can buy for our house” and “what kind of cars we can drive.”
And whether or not we can gleefully pollute earth and air, or tote semi automatic weapons through the streets, or deny women access to reproductive aid ...
And whether or not we can gleefully pollute earth and air, or tote semi automatic weapons through the streets, or deny women access to reproductive aid ...
666
Tim B
Brilliant.
Brilliant.
7
too bad Perry didn't complain about...
... whether or not we can gleefully pollute earth and air, or tote semi automatic weapons through the streets, or deny women access to reproductive aid ...
...too stupid.
... whether or not we can gleefully pollute earth and air, or tote semi automatic weapons through the streets, or deny women access to reproductive aid ...
...too stupid.
Thank you, Miss Ley ☺
3
Next!
157
Good riddance to another Texas braggart. As even the Texans say, "All mouth and no hat." I suspect the poor educated citizenry of Austin must have cringed every time he face was shown on TV.
You have to give him credit however, he got quite a few companies to move the from California. It is now difficult to find a chrome plating, engine rebuilding, or chemical storage company here now. And when it comes to air quality, it is hard to beat El Paso, reminds me of Beijing. I am sure he is a hero to Texans for bringing those companies there.
In office 14 years, he was the best they could find in all those years, no competition, how great it is to have someone so superior to all the rest of the states politicians. Poor Rick, I guess the big money donors no longer think he could ride herd on congress, he lost his spurs.
Well I won't miss him, or for that matter a few more of the GOP wannabees. And if things work out we wont have to listen to most of them for awhile after 2016.
You have to give him credit however, he got quite a few companies to move the from California. It is now difficult to find a chrome plating, engine rebuilding, or chemical storage company here now. And when it comes to air quality, it is hard to beat El Paso, reminds me of Beijing. I am sure he is a hero to Texans for bringing those companies there.
In office 14 years, he was the best they could find in all those years, no competition, how great it is to have someone so superior to all the rest of the states politicians. Poor Rick, I guess the big money donors no longer think he could ride herd on congress, he lost his spurs.
Well I won't miss him, or for that matter a few more of the GOP wannabees. And if things work out we wont have to listen to most of them for awhile after 2016.
219
@David Underwood:
"And if things work out we wont have to listen to most of them for awhile after 2016."
Don't count on it. We still have to listen to Cheney.
"And if things work out we wont have to listen to most of them for awhile after 2016."
Don't count on it. We still have to listen to Cheney.
318
i think it is "all hat and no cattle"
15
No, we do not "have to listen" to Cheney. We can choose to ignore him ... And he surely needs to be ignored.
43
I would cheer if it weren't for the crew that's still standing. They actually make him look good.
252
There is only one genuine candidate for President: Senator Bernard Sanders. Mr. Sanders, the antithesis of his rivals, stands out with candor, honesty, principle and policies that, aside from the "foaming mouth crowd", are reflective of America.
760
The foaming at the mouth crowd you mention, are actually just low information voters who make up the majority of our electorate. These folks get their news from TV when they bother to turn on a news program at all. These are the people who are entertained by "reality" TV programs and never heard of Sen. Sanders.
15
I think Bernie is great and I agree with almost everything he says. But judging by the many repeated comments at every NYT opinion column it seems like there are a lot of True Believers who seem to think he is The One and Only for some reason. It reminds me of fundamentalist Christians, a minuscule number of the world's population, a tiny percentage of believers, and a small segment of Christians, who think everything Jesus is the one and only answer to everything for everyone. It seems like among humans there is an urge for a singular savior.
6
Actually, emjayay, I think many of us would prefer Elizabeth Warren. Seeing as she's saying she's not running, we'll go for Bernie instead. They both stand for the New Deal and the Square Deal, etc--tried and true principles of the Democratic Party. No "Savior" or "Man on horseback" about it.
It's Dems watering themselves down to "Republican Lite" that we don't like--and neither does anyone else.
It's Dems watering themselves down to "Republican Lite" that we don't like--and neither does anyone else.
6
And we will never again hear Rick Perry say that a stopped clock is right once a day.
"What a weird year."
You nailed it, Gail. So glad you're back.
"What a weird year."
You nailed it, Gail. So glad you're back.
415
Poor Rick Perry. His big bang turned out to be a big bust, even looking super smart in his Leonard Hofstadter glasses. But there is no eyewear that can compensate for forgetting the third point of your three-point plan to eliminate trivial cabinet departments. It's not the sort of thing that people forget. But really, who needs education, commerce and energy anyway? To be fair, Perry was going to replace these with newly-created departments of cowboy boots, abstinence and coyote management.
To call this gaggle of G.O.P. candidates the greatest group of men and women we could hope for can only mean that we should abandon all hope. It makes you feel as though the spirits of Michele Bachmann and Herman Cain are watching over the proceedings, giving the candidates their wisdom and guiding them gently over the cliff.
Must we go through this again? Do we have to sit and stare, slack-jawed and gob-smacked, as each inappropriate, doomed candidate inevitably self-destructs, as if we’re watching a human version of Fox’s “Boom!”? And how will we look back on the time we spent viewing the media coverage of these inept zealots--with Donald Trump being the last man standing, no less--while Bernie Sanders has to break records in the polls with actual ideas to fix our broken nation, and with barely a nod from the networks? Other than providing badly-needed material for Steven Colbert, I can’t see much use in going through this dispiriting exercise.
Go Bernie.
To call this gaggle of G.O.P. candidates the greatest group of men and women we could hope for can only mean that we should abandon all hope. It makes you feel as though the spirits of Michele Bachmann and Herman Cain are watching over the proceedings, giving the candidates their wisdom and guiding them gently over the cliff.
Must we go through this again? Do we have to sit and stare, slack-jawed and gob-smacked, as each inappropriate, doomed candidate inevitably self-destructs, as if we’re watching a human version of Fox’s “Boom!”? And how will we look back on the time we spent viewing the media coverage of these inept zealots--with Donald Trump being the last man standing, no less--while Bernie Sanders has to break records in the polls with actual ideas to fix our broken nation, and with barely a nod from the networks? Other than providing badly-needed material for Steven Colbert, I can’t see much use in going through this dispiriting exercise.
Go Bernie.
940
Really, it was not so much that he forgot, We know the debates are stressful and that stress can lead to inability to recall on the spot -- a version of stage fright. Totally understandable. But the "oops" with the head nod -- well that sounded and looked exactly like off-the-rails Brittney Spears -- imitating a teen-aged girl (Oops, I did it again). Not only distinctly not presidential, not even grown-up!
8
Right on target.
6
" Do we have to sit and stare, slack-jawed and gob-smacked, as each inappropriate, doomed candidate inevitably self-destructs, as if we’re watching a human version of Fox’s “Boom?"
Yes you do, if only for the rest of the world, as it provides one of the most anguishing and funniest piece of entertainment these days
Yes you do, if only for the rest of the world, as it provides one of the most anguishing and funniest piece of entertainment these days
15
This class of candidates is so big that I can imagine it having reunions in years to come, and at least Rick Perry will be eligible for those.
181
Yes, it would be like the reunion of The Five-Timers Club on "Saturday Night Live."
In fact, the SNL cast and Lorne Michaels would be the ones most likely to host it.
In fact, the SNL cast and Lorne Michaels would be the ones most likely to host it.
5
I've never really bought the story of shooting the coyote. I've seen coyotes many times while hiking in the California hills, but they always keep their distance from people. The closest I've ever been was about 60 feet, and they usually stay much farther away than that. I don't know much about guns, but I think that is out of handgun range. Perry claimed he used a handgun on the coyote. I can see using a handgun on a rattlesnake or a squirrel or even a bear raiding a campsite, but a coyote is a job for a rifle.
104
The longer version of the story given out was that he was out running with his daughter's puppy. It ran off ahead, and got into it with a coyote. Apparently it was losing. Perry jogged up on the fight, and shot the coyote to save his puppy.
So he had a small dog, and it picked a fight, and it lost, so he shot the animal it had attacked.
So he had a small dog, and it picked a fight, and it lost, so he shot the animal it had attacked.
62
@Mark...So the two dogs were fighting and somehow he managed to hit the coyote and not his own dog? I don't see a puppy lasting long against a coyote and I don't see a coyote letting a human get close.
I think that if you are a swaggering gun loving Texan then having a few stories about wild animals you have shot is good for your electability. It helps with the macho image.
I think that if you are a swaggering gun loving Texan then having a few stories about wild animals you have shot is good for your electability. It helps with the macho image.
23
And who carries a handgun while jogging? Hiking, sure, but do you really want to get a bunch of sweat all over your gun?
15
The cockles of my heart are very
Upset at the loss of "Rick Perry,
No more will we see
Rick not counting to three
The candidates left are more scary.
Jebenezer, Carly and Chris,
A trio nobody would miss,
Cruz and Pataki,
Whose chances are rocky
The Donald I'm longing to hiss.
Now Rick was a far cry from slick
His cortex was lacking a tick,
Learned as a rock
So easy to mock,
Yet of that crew a better pick!
Upset at the loss of "Rick Perry,
No more will we see
Rick not counting to three
The candidates left are more scary.
Jebenezer, Carly and Chris,
A trio nobody would miss,
Cruz and Pataki,
Whose chances are rocky
The Donald I'm longing to hiss.
Now Rick was a far cry from slick
His cortex was lacking a tick,
Learned as a rock
So easy to mock,
Yet of that crew a better pick!
412
Ok, Mr. Eisenberg - fess up. How large is the staff that helps you come up with these?
Seriously, this is wonderful. Have you ever thought of putting together a collection?
Seriously, this is wonderful. Have you ever thought of putting together a collection?
8
Larry, you can take great solace from the fact that the crowd at the US Open yesterday hissed The Donald in unisono when the big screen showed his gorgeous face. He was not amused....
The rumour is that he will buy the Arthur Ashe stadium since he was treated so 'unfairly'.
The rumour is that he will buy the Arthur Ashe stadium since he was treated so 'unfairly'.
4
Reading Gail's pieces never fails to bring chuckles, and this is no exception. Biting yet wonderfully fluid, with the occasional "hehehehehe".
197
Gail, it's so good to have you back -- we missed you. "..wandering like a Labrador retriever being pulled around by a helium balloon attached to his collar." Wow. You are queen of similes. (And, I might add, smiles :)
633
True. Gail has a way of coming up with similes that are unexpected, amusing, and insightful, yet oddly sympathetic to the one compared.
6
Yes, to the missing you and welcome back, Gail.
9
It's a fine line between smile and simile my friend.
7
Now that is the epitome of pithy. Also about the funniest summation of the quality of Republican presidential candidates I've seen yet.
So glad to see you back, Gail.