This made me cry a little . . . in a sad and funny kind of way because it was totally my experience the first week of college at the University of Chicago. Except I had no family with me and was struggling to figure out all this on my own. My family couldn't afford to fly out from California to take me to school, so they sent me off like my grandfather had sent my father off from Korea to the US . . . with a bible, a little money (about $100 for me) and a "good luck."
13
lovely piece thank you!
8
Beautiful story but ends to abruptly. I want more!
13
Too many don't understand how coming from a non-educated household can leave huge gaps in your knowledge, that others get just by growing up around people that have gone to college. It's a big deal, having to figure out/learn all kinds of things they just take for granted and do automatically. It's a true Stranger in a Strange Land experience.
14
Excellent article. As a current professor and a former first generation student, it is worth remembering that not all professors will know the status of their students. In fact, many of us are not involved in admissions and do not really know much about the students at all except for how they respond to our teaching. Still, we have chosen this profession because we care about learning and students. All student should be encouraged to get to know their professors because we can be strong advocates for them, and we often know about opportunities for them. This can be especially helpful for first generation college students who haven't yet learned how to navigate the system. Nothing makes me happier than seeing a student flourish!
16
I was also a first-generation college student, also at Cornell. The differences between me and peers who had college educated parents were vast. They were more prepared, more sophisticated (at least it seemed that way), and more confident. Couldn't have gotten through it without loving family, supportive and understanding friends, and other students from working class backgrounds who knew what I was going through.
This is a great piece that I wish every single college counselor, dean, provost, president and board would read.
This is a great piece that I wish every single college counselor, dean, provost, president and board would read.
26
That was really sweet and made me cry a little. Just another reminder that we don't all start out with the same opportunities, expectations, and framework. Privileged people assume naturally that everyone starts from the same place, when that's not true at all. Her family not knowing the "unspoken rules" really illustrates this. They're only understood if you come from a certain social class/background/race/place.
18
I honestly think you are overanalyzing this as attributable to being first generation. I was first generation too, and also felt lost. But now that I'm a professor, I see very many students completely as lost as I was and it hasn't anything to do with their parents' college experience or lack thereof. Such is the nature of getting used to universities.
I recently saw a freshman carrying a rolling suitcase to class and I asked her "are your textbooks in there?". She said yes, and I explained that I had done the exact same thing the first week of school because I thought I needed them in calss (just like I did in highschool). So very very many things like that.
I recently saw a freshman carrying a rolling suitcase to class and I asked her "are your textbooks in there?". She said yes, and I explained that I had done the exact same thing the first week of school because I thought I needed them in calss (just like I did in highschool). So very very many things like that.
14
As with much of life for many of us, first-generation or not, the very last sentence in this article rings bells for me. All of my life has been a series of not knowing what I didn't/don't know. As in not even knowing there were questions to ask let alone knowing what the question are or were. I'm 72 and still find this to be true.
14
"Intersectionalities"? I suppose that is, technically, an English word, but only someone immersed in "education-speak" would ever use it. For a professor of English to use it in a freshman assignment is unconscionable, incomprehensible (in more ways than one), unnecessary, unforgivable, and ridiculous. I admire the writer's tenacity and courage.
61
WOW...what a great article from a fellow first-generation Cornellian. You've captured the experience for sure! Thank you for a lovely article. I've shared it with my family, who all came with me to drop me off at Cornell...and all eventually got back in that van and drove away, leaving me to what would become a wonderful experience and a wonderful life...not without a few bumps and bruises as I learned the system on my own.
9
I found this article a comfort. My freshman and only year of college was a disaster. Born and raised in Alaska, I was accepted to 3 colleges and made a huge mistake picking the one known as the 'Harvard of the West'. I was 'screwed'. I should have picked the large University with its huge football program and experienced a large crowd of screaming fellow students. Unfortunately, I chose another isolation by ignorance. There was no flying my family around the country looking at colleges for my middle income parents. I arrived alone, abandoned, and assured, which didn't last long. My high school taught no bridge to college. I quickly discovered the campus was on the outskirts of a large West Coast city, accessible only by bus, and I was as isolated on campus as I was in 18 years in Alaska. Not allowed cars? Classes and curriculum were a terror. I would listen to professors recruited from the Ivy League speaking gibberish, as I furiously took notes. I would look at them later and decided it was really alien-speak. The first line of an assigned book took me three weeks to understand, as I read it over and, puzzling, finally figuring it out! But, it was too late. In those 3 weeks, I had already failed college. Back home, the Alaska oil pipeline had started hiring and my friends were making 6 figures. I fled home, landed a wonderful job, and learned a career that has kept me employed all my working life. A backwards story, but it's mine, a college Cheechako in the Lower 48.
13
This resonates with me, except I went through this exactly 30 years ago when programs for first-generation college students weren't even a blip on the educational radar screen. My first two years were difficult as I navigated a new environment. My parents were of little help since they were not familiar with U.S. universities, or college life itself. With the help of some very good professors, I found my footing, graduated, and would eventually go on to earn two master's degrees. My three sisters also attended college and we hold 11 degrees between the four of us.
7
What a wonderful piece. Candid, warm, accurate. As the former president of a college with many first generation students, the tale of your family brings back memories. It also signals for me the need for colleges to do more to help their first generation students succeed. That means the colleges need to understand the life of the students who have been accepted and to create, for them and their families, a new and welcoming community. Perhaps colleges could use your piece to train faculty, staff and coaches -- it is exactly the candor needed.
14
I was also the first person in my family to attend college. My mom double parked in front of the dorm, we unloaded my stuff, she kissed me, said 'ciao, ci vediamo' and off she went.
10
I observed the same experience in medical school. I was from an elite university and the son of an Ivy League medical school professor. The environment was "home" to me and I walked around smiling and relaxed because it was all so familiar to me. On the other hand I had intelligent, well qualified classmates freaking out over the stress of so much material and the obvious competition from so many academic " stars" as classmates. They weren't acclimatized to this atmosphere and told me that I did not and could not understand what they were going through. I like to think I learned from them that not everyone has the same preparation and experiences for the challenges that life throws your way but that everyone deserves a chance.
4
It reflects poorly on Cornell that they were unaware of the (excellent, highly engaging) writer's predicament as a first generation student from a non-traditional culture. Otherwise automatic monitoring and/or a buddy system are two easily arranged solutions which might have been implemented.
5
This essay offers a sweet depiction of loving parents (Mom sounds like a kick), but beyond that I'm getting a strong taint of self-pity. And it just doesn't jibe with what I saw in my college days. When I was at university I was close friends with seceral students who were the first in their families (low-income, minority) to attend college. They were no more lost in their first year there than was any other freshman. Campus life was new and frightening for everyone, but we had academic advisors, RAs, RFs, professors, TAs, older students, and student counsellors available to help us through. There was no "secret key" passed on from degree-holding ancestors, even at my private, uber-exclusive campus. We all figured out the ropes as we went along. That's the joy of going away to college and leaving your family behind, whether that family knows what you are experiencing or not. Heck, no one in my large family (both parents were university educated, as were their parents and their many siblings, as well as all of my elder siblings) told me what college was going to be like or what I should do there, or how I should act. Like that Cornell Dean, they said, simply, "Now, go." You jump in, and you swim or you sink.
(One plucky, lovely friend I remember had never seen the campus before she arrived for her first day of orientation, alone, having flown cross-country for the first time in her life. i never heard her complain about a thing.)
(One plucky, lovely friend I remember had never seen the campus before she arrived for her first day of orientation, alone, having flown cross-country for the first time in her life. i never heard her complain about a thing.)
14
me not frugal --- Since you never heard your friends complain, then everything for them must have been 100% fine at all times. What a relentlessly joyful experience college must have been for them!
24
What a wonderful piece; I didn't want it to end!
7
Jennine, I sincerely hope you are not using, in your classes, the language of your first writing promt! For someone like me who has long taught students directly from Mexico at UTEP, and now, more and more underprivilged minority students, also first generation, I know how alienating " theory" can be! It is time to put an end to it!
4
Not end it, maybe, but certainly not rain it down on college freshmen, no matter what they're backgrounds.
4
What a beautiful piece!!!
Should be mandatory reading for all college advisors and admissions staff.
You are your parents 'miracle'.
Keep making future miracles happen.
Congratulations Professor!
Should be mandatory reading for all college advisors and admissions staff.
You are your parents 'miracle'.
Keep making future miracles happen.
Congratulations Professor!
17
I loved this story. It reminded me of some of the things Sonia Sotomayor wrote about in her memoir. I also loved the author's family. (As it turned out, they were correct - she did need them there for the first week.)
9
Wow - thank you, Ms Crucet, for a wonderful, funny and illuminating essay.
Much as I hate the existence of academy mumbo-jumbo like intersectionalities and a myriad of other PC obfuscations, if we have teachers like you, I'm not too worried.
Much as I hate the existence of academy mumbo-jumbo like intersectionalities and a myriad of other PC obfuscations, if we have teachers like you, I'm not too worried.
4
Collage - the half-way house between high-school and the real world. Out on your own, but not alone.
I lived on-campus all four year at Michigan State and was an RA for two years. I contemplated writing a book, "The convection of cold air through a shower stall OR life on a collage campus", but i realized, as a graduating high-school senior, I wouldn't have read it.
Now as a manager I have learned, some things are best taught by experience. The young engineers that work for me will enthusiastically take an approach my experience says will almost certainly fail, yet I have learned it is better to let them learn the hard way than to crush their spirit and try to convince them otherwise. Only failure can teach experience - the best we can do is provide a soft landing.
I lived on-campus all four year at Michigan State and was an RA for two years. I contemplated writing a book, "The convection of cold air through a shower stall OR life on a collage campus", but i realized, as a graduating high-school senior, I wouldn't have read it.
Now as a manager I have learned, some things are best taught by experience. The young engineers that work for me will enthusiastically take an approach my experience says will almost certainly fail, yet I have learned it is better to let them learn the hard way than to crush their spirit and try to convince them otherwise. Only failure can teach experience - the best we can do is provide a soft landing.
7
I personally have not been to college, I have only been a 10 grader to 7 days now. I do how ever a have an 18 year old brother, who recently just began college. He, however, is a first generation college student, who has so many questions about; what to do and how to hang in their or survive. He was a little different than the author, he was ready for our parents to leave him, so he could be on his own. I hope that he will do well and lean how to live out on his own, so that he can lean tips that can be shared with his kids and my self.
57
Reading your piece took me back to my college experience in Westchester County. I flew east from Los Angeles with my mom and younger sister. What struck me most was how different we looked than the rest of the students and families who were there--its not something you mention in your piece. First generation is one thing, you can kind of "pass", but one can't hide phenotypical attributes. Glad to see you are in academia and can help firstgen students.
1
A beautiful story. I hope it is shared with students and with college staff to remind us all that students come from many backgrounds, and our assumptions about what "everyone" knows are usually wrong.
I'm very glad you stuck it out, and glad for the incredible love and support your family showed. It must have been very tough leaving you so far from home. They were courageous, and you were too.
I'm very glad you stuck it out, and glad for the incredible love and support your family showed. It must have been very tough leaving you so far from home. They were courageous, and you were too.
4
"They turned to me and said, “What does he mean, Go?" Yep that reflects most Cuban parents. When I told my parents I wants to go to Notre Dame they told me "Terrific, we'll all love up there. Well start looking for jobs near there now. ". Que Pena!
14
Thank you for sharing your experience in such detail. I had no idea that first generation students are entering a strange land when they go to college. Now I know, and these insights have helped me to gain compassion for English-as-a-second-language students.
2
You and your parents love one another deeply. That's not everything but it certainly helped when failure and self doubt loomed as possibilities in a new environment that posed questions in an unduly obscure way. Just that your Mom would listen and say, "I'm here---we are all her for you" sets a high standard for the rest of us.
I hope I have done half as well by a son who graduated from a Catholic College two years ago. My daughter starts at an Ivy
In ten days and I hope deeply that she will feel the same kind feelings for her parents that you have expresed for yours. Your thoughts touched me deeply. Thank you.
I hope I have done half as well by a son who graduated from a Catholic College two years ago. My daughter starts at an Ivy
In ten days and I hope deeply that she will feel the same kind feelings for her parents that you have expresed for yours. Your thoughts touched me deeply. Thank you.
4
"And that, for me, is the quintessential quality of the first-generation college student’s experience. It’s not even knowing what you don’t know."
It is also the second-generation college student. Or, I guess, anyone who lives a somewhat isolated life. I grew up in working-class New York City, and like all of my friends I was the grandchild of immigrants. Peasants. I left the neighborhood to go to college, and then onto the white-collar world. I was smart, enthusiastic, and clueless. It took a long time to grasp the big picture, Many embarrassing moments. As Ms. Crucet states here, you're not even aware of what it is that you don't know.
It is also the second-generation college student. Or, I guess, anyone who lives a somewhat isolated life. I grew up in working-class New York City, and like all of my friends I was the grandchild of immigrants. Peasants. I left the neighborhood to go to college, and then onto the white-collar world. I was smart, enthusiastic, and clueless. It took a long time to grasp the big picture, Many embarrassing moments. As Ms. Crucet states here, you're not even aware of what it is that you don't know.
77
Your mom sounds awesome. I think I know where you got your smarts from...
4
Jennine Capó Crucet, dang you for making me remember that. It was 1965 for me, and Syracuse University, just up the thruway a piece from Cornell, and I was beginning my 4-year adventure at the S.I. Newhouse School for Religious Studies.
I was graduated in 1969 (Wink!), but I did not have the calling. No Divinity School in my future.
So ... Danke, Herr Doctor, and onward for both of us.
I was graduated in 1969 (Wink!), but I did not have the calling. No Divinity School in my future.
So ... Danke, Herr Doctor, and onward for both of us.
...and I bet the experience was in the end finer for starting out so lost.
15
It makes me sad remembering college. I could not attend until after I turned 21 since my parents refused to fill out paperwork for a college loan because "someone we know might find out our income". A few years later when I planned to apply for a scholarship in England, I was told "we will consider you dead if you accept". Families are many things to many people. They are either the people who love and support you or they are the opposite.
21
While the author, as the first in her family to attend college, successfully navigated her culture shock at Cornell, as well as the limited context her pre-college years provided, many others do not.
As NYT reporting has shown, graduation rates and "happiness/ social comfort" feelings skyrocket when college students from less advantaged backgrounds are provided with sufficient mentoring, social connectivity and guidance support (again, as NYT reporting has shown, this is not generally "remedial" work and the cost to universities is very limited).
Simply throwing weighted non-swimmers into the deep end only ensures drownings.
As NYT reporting has shown, graduation rates and "happiness/ social comfort" feelings skyrocket when college students from less advantaged backgrounds are provided with sufficient mentoring, social connectivity and guidance support (again, as NYT reporting has shown, this is not generally "remedial" work and the cost to universities is very limited).
Simply throwing weighted non-swimmers into the deep end only ensures drownings.
7
It also ensures that only the most motivated student survive.
I was the first person in my family, most of them demolished in the Holocaust, to complete high school. My mother's dream was for me to college and she worked toward that end. I was so terrified the day I walked into school that I spent lunchtime in my car, unable to interact with those who had lovely, casual clothes and a knowledge of how to actually register for classes. I walked through the campus with my head down, eyes on the ground, least somebody look at me, understood and shipped me back to the tenements. Back then there weren't any social groups for me like me. You did great Jennine! I took graduated, going on to get master's degree, working at two separate jobs, attending school, and trying to parents two kids who were latchkey children just as I was. Folks like us are needed because we've run the gauntlet and can guide others.
7
What a moving essay. It certainly changes the way I see things.
@Jennine -
Welcome aboard.
Welcome aboard.
Interesting. Glad it all turned out alright for you.
I am not an immigrant. As read your article, I though about how my own mother who is was from Brooklyn would have said to me if I called in tears panicked over an assignment. She would not have responded like your mom.
My mom was a problem solver and she would have found a way to help me even if it made her look foolish or illiterate. She would not have tried to solve it for me but she would have stood by me while I figured it out. She would have encouraged me to go talk to the professor, which is pretty basic and you as a student in secondary school, had to have asked your teachers questions at least once. My mom never went to college but she wasn't afraid of speaking to those who had, especially if it would help me. Glad I have her.
I am not an immigrant. As read your article, I though about how my own mother who is was from Brooklyn would have said to me if I called in tears panicked over an assignment. She would not have responded like your mom.
My mom was a problem solver and she would have found a way to help me even if it made her look foolish or illiterate. She would not have tried to solve it for me but she would have stood by me while I figured it out. She would have encouraged me to go talk to the professor, which is pretty basic and you as a student in secondary school, had to have asked your teachers questions at least once. My mom never went to college but she wasn't afraid of speaking to those who had, especially if it would help me. Glad I have her.
3
I absolutely love that the Times continues to publish op-ed pieces about and from first-generation college students. I was one myself, and also at an Ivy. Just like Ms. Crucet, I also contemplated dropping out after my first semester due to the enormous gulf between what I knew, what all of my peers appeared to know, and how the school worked. I hung on for dear life and did well. Even though I graduated nearly 15 years ago, I sometimes wonder about the psychological toll involved with white-knuckling through this kind of an environment.
I was so desperate to connect with others who were dealing with similar challenges and insecurities. I was shocked to realize that other first and second generation immigrant kids were from affluent families; I'd only known working-class immigrants. Professors and teaching assistants also came from well-connected and comfortable backgrounds, and the thought of someone like me hadn't quite occurred to them. I happened to connect with a few other first-generation kids, but it was clear that all of us were ashamed of our backgrounds and that we would whisper about our fears only when others were not around.
I hope the new generation of first-generation students are reading articles like these and realizing that they are not alone. That they belong just as much as anyone else. I am rooting for you.
I was so desperate to connect with others who were dealing with similar challenges and insecurities. I was shocked to realize that other first and second generation immigrant kids were from affluent families; I'd only known working-class immigrants. Professors and teaching assistants also came from well-connected and comfortable backgrounds, and the thought of someone like me hadn't quite occurred to them. I happened to connect with a few other first-generation kids, but it was clear that all of us were ashamed of our backgrounds and that we would whisper about our fears only when others were not around.
I hope the new generation of first-generation students are reading articles like these and realizing that they are not alone. That they belong just as much as anyone else. I am rooting for you.
14
Thank you for sharing this story. I would hope that as colleges are making greater efforts to recruit bright first-generation college students, they would also build in some supports for them once they arrive on campus. It is astounding how much there is to learn (as you point out, not just about classes, but also about shower caddies, setting up a dorm room, what work-study means, etc.). Both my parents went to college and grad school, and I came from a decent public high school. But I shared your feeling of being totally lost in my freshman English class and feeling way out of my league (in the Ivy League). I was terrified to speak in class and struggled to figure out what the assignments were actually asking.
It's not just first-generation college students who are lost and confused (although the depths of your confusion may be greater). I remember near the end of first semester of my freshman year learning that the English boy who lived upstairs from me, who'd gone to a fancy prep school, didn't realize you were supposed to read the syllabus at the start of the semester and hadn't been doing any of the work all semester for any of his classes!
It's not just first-generation college students who are lost and confused (although the depths of your confusion may be greater). I remember near the end of first semester of my freshman year learning that the English boy who lived upstairs from me, who'd gone to a fancy prep school, didn't realize you were supposed to read the syllabus at the start of the semester and hadn't been doing any of the work all semester for any of his classes!
8
Being parents of 3 daughters and not having experienced college
life myself, I loved the college experience thru my children, 2 of which also attended Cornell. Other one went to Boston College.
Best thing you can do for your kids is to get them a good education.
life myself, I loved the college experience thru my children, 2 of which also attended Cornell. Other one went to Boston College.
Best thing you can do for your kids is to get them a good education.
6
Thanks for your delightful article. I laughed and I cried, thinking of similar experience. The "C/D" I received in my freshman honors English class was one of the most valuable experiences of my life, as it was accompanied by the Prof's advice that "you can do better than this (drivel)." How did he know that I could do better? But he was right, I could and I did. Growing up is hard, but surviving should give great satisfaction, at any age.
9
Ms. Crucet. You have earned an "A"!
I am sure you're parents are very proud of you!
I am sure you're parents are very proud of you!
4
Seems like an insult to Cornell. I attended another Ivy with no super angst; the same level of angst as the writer with no supportive phone calls. My parents couldn't help me with a paper any more than hers could have. And they certainly didn't have time to stay with me at school without losing their jobs.
I think the word is codependent; they didn't want her going to college and she didn't want to go. It is beyond me that Cornell could accept someone so unprepared for life,and in 1999 yet.
My parents applied for aid and paid for my college. I bought xl twin sheets myself. And I went in the 1980s, with one parent never gone to college and the other who went on the GI Bill and lived at the Y for free because the dorm was too expensive.
Why is it that every first generation college student thinks they are the first student ever to have doubt? Or perhaps that every other student is infinitely more prepared?
I think the word is codependent; they didn't want her going to college and she didn't want to go. It is beyond me that Cornell could accept someone so unprepared for life,and in 1999 yet.
My parents applied for aid and paid for my college. I bought xl twin sheets myself. And I went in the 1980s, with one parent never gone to college and the other who went on the GI Bill and lived at the Y for free because the dorm was too expensive.
Why is it that every first generation college student thinks they are the first student ever to have doubt? Or perhaps that every other student is infinitely more prepared?
8
'...We thought we all needed to be there for freshman orientation...our orientation...'
But surely there was nothing in the documents sent by Cornell that indicated it was 'our orientation'?
'...I received the topics for what would be my first college paper, in an English course on the modern novel. I might as well have been my non-English-speaking grandmother trying to read and understand them...'
How did this student, born in the US, get into a top-rated university like Cornell, if she was that unprepared for freshman coursework, which is never that challenging?
Great that she finally succeeded, but hardly an encouraging story, as no doubt another more worthy student did not get her spot.
But surely there was nothing in the documents sent by Cornell that indicated it was 'our orientation'?
'...I received the topics for what would be my first college paper, in an English course on the modern novel. I might as well have been my non-English-speaking grandmother trying to read and understand them...'
How did this student, born in the US, get into a top-rated university like Cornell, if she was that unprepared for freshman coursework, which is never that challenging?
Great that she finally succeeded, but hardly an encouraging story, as no doubt another more worthy student did not get her spot.
1
Randh2 - surely your college experience taught you that other people's experiences should not be dismissed because they differ from your own?
Also: maybe "every" first-generation college student thinks they are the first student ever to have doubt because they don't know about anybody else's. My father was a first-generation college student, and I never once heard him describe a single moment of self-doubt in regard to his academic career (or anything else, for that matter). The expectation for me was that I would go to college and breeze through with straight A's. My college doubts were the first ones I ever heard about.
Also: maybe "every" first-generation college student thinks they are the first student ever to have doubt because they don't know about anybody else's. My father was a first-generation college student, and I never once heard him describe a single moment of self-doubt in regard to his academic career (or anything else, for that matter). The expectation for me was that I would go to college and breeze through with straight A's. My college doubts were the first ones I ever heard about.
2
A+.
While I cannot fully comprehend the extent of the challenges and pain the author had to overcome, I can relate. I was low income, first generation college, 4th among my siblings. Double majoring in CS/EE at Wash U. in St. Louis was a struggle coming from Catholic education in Kansas City in early 80s. My engineering classmates achieved within 4 years, what took me 5 years to master.
My college, and other engineering schools, have come a long way in terms of support available to freshmen. We dropped our oldest off at Purdue last Monday, and the resources at the University are outstanding. His college prep program was as strong as any, so I expect he will have an easier time academically, but the emotional rollercoaster of college will never go away.
While I cannot fully comprehend the extent of the challenges and pain the author had to overcome, I can relate. I was low income, first generation college, 4th among my siblings. Double majoring in CS/EE at Wash U. in St. Louis was a struggle coming from Catholic education in Kansas City in early 80s. My engineering classmates achieved within 4 years, what took me 5 years to master.
My college, and other engineering schools, have come a long way in terms of support available to freshmen. We dropped our oldest off at Purdue last Monday, and the resources at the University are outstanding. His college prep program was as strong as any, so I expect he will have an easier time academically, but the emotional rollercoaster of college will never go away.
2
One thing I do as a professor at university with many qualified but low income students from homes where English is not spoken (and many foreign students from places like China) who are uncertain of what is expected to get a top grade on assignment is not to give "F" grades but rather give "REDO" for papers/presentations/videos that do not meet the mark along with explanation of what is missing. Nowadays many assignments get posted to learning management systems such as Blackboard where students can see the work of other students and my comments on them to clarify things. This is especially valued by foreign students. Students at this time can expect to be collaborating in online teams of a half a dozen students each in a different nation to learn intercultural endeavors firsthand. Some of my courses do this through the X-culture project run by Prof. Vasyl Taras of the University of North Carolina, Greensboro.
10
2nd year students are good candidates for freshmen mentor programs. I bet some colleges have them. Mentors with the same background of the freshmen, origin, social strata, make even more sense.
4
I'm also a 'first-gen' from a working class family, in fact I was the first in my extended family that graduated from high school. And, somehow, I also managed to find my way into an elite liberal arts college and end up in academia. Even more bizarre, this SoCal surfer with sun-bleached hair decided to major in Ancient Greek, which included study abroad in Athens. I'm still not sure how all this happened, but I am grateful...
2
One of the best things about college is getting away from parents.
4
I laughed out loud reading this. Nice writing.
"Intersectionalities??!!" What kind of idiot professor wrote that word? "LOL," as they say nowadays. You must be brilliant to have managed a B-/C on that paper!
6
One word: delicious.
1
My father went to college (as did uncles and aunts) and I still was lost, confused, didn't know what questions to ask, and wanted to go home when I went to college. I think the feeling of "what the hell am I doing here?" is pretty normal.
3
The author talks about her experience as a first generation college student and the obstacles that she must face while on her own. College is about finding out who you are and discovering new things about yourself. It's a time to separate from your parents and discover the individuality that you suppressed when you were younger. The author's realization that she no longer had to share her grades with her parents was the first step of this exploration of new-found freedom. This self exploration is vital to the experience of any college student, and is especially prevalent for first generation college students. For first generation students, such as the author, they know less of what to expect than those whose parents already experienced college. The first few weeks may be a rough transition, but the lessons that you learn throughout your self discovery can last a lifetime. As time goes on, you will learn more about the many things that once seemed foreign to you. This is part of the maturation and growing up that is brought on by college. The sudden adaptation required when you are thrown into the world without the help of your parents, is what teaches you many aspects about yourself that you didn't know. The author highlights this fact and shows how tough the transition can be for those with no knowledge of college life. Overall, the transition to college is very difficult but can teach you many life lessons and help you discover who you are.
As a veteran of a quarter century as a university faculty member, this is helpful to read as I prepare for classes to begin. Thanks.
6
Beautiful story. I remember I had the same feeling in a freshman undergraduate foreign student in my first class Spring 1975 at a community college in upstate New York. I did not understand 90% of the lectures during the first week !! Six years later I received my Ph.D. from an Ivy League university ...... One need strong mind, focus and hard work (intelligent help) to go to school in a different culture....
4
What a bountiful family for courage and caring. Deeply attached and supportive of one another, there isn't much that can resist that. What a beautifully written and moving story.
3
It is easy to see why you are a professor of English. You write beautifully.
4
He who knows not, and knows not that he knows not, knows nothing. Ignore him. But he who knows not, and knows that he knows not, knows well. Teach him. Ms. Crucet has transcended this convenient little bit of - I think - Persian wisdom.
So grateful for Ms. Crucet, but even more so for her parents, family and abuela.
So grateful for Ms. Crucet, but even more so for her parents, family and abuela.
4
Jennine, what a wonderful essay! I was captivated by your relationship to your family, I was afraid that things would not go well for you, I was rooting for you, and relieved at the end that your time at Cornell worked for you. I am pretty sure there are many veins of gold to be mined by a writer in the things that have happened to you and your family.
I loved your description of your faith that yourmother could help you, her attempt, and then her realistic response to her inability.
I will look for your book, and look forward to anything else you contribute here.
I loved your description of your faith that yourmother could help you, her attempt, and then her realistic response to her inability.
I will look for your book, and look forward to anything else you contribute here.
6
Ohhh my, so sweet and so heartbreaking at the same time. I would truly love to read the story of your journey from Miami to Ithaca to Lincoln, Nebraska. There is a book there!
3
Anyone from Miami who goes to school in Ithaca has an orientation in December that makes September look like a piece of cake.
6
Gee, your experience was a lot different than mine was when I took my daughter to Cornell in 1991. I remember multiple meetings/workshops where parents were given a lot of information and also given the opportunity to ask questions. I left after dinner that evening, and yes, after a few trips to Ames for things for the dorm room. But a pretty detailed list had been sent previously, including the info about needing extra long size twin sheets.
Yes, I had been to college but I took myself - my parents didn't go along - no one told us that was expected. I watched all the parents leaving and felt pretty alone. But then so did all my classmates. No matter how it may have appeared to you at the time, just about every freshman there felt WAY out of their depth. You just thought they were totally confident. They weren't.
Yes, I had been to college but I took myself - my parents didn't go along - no one told us that was expected. I watched all the parents leaving and felt pretty alone. But then so did all my classmates. No matter how it may have appeared to you at the time, just about every freshman there felt WAY out of their depth. You just thought they were totally confident. They weren't.
5
A heart warming story about a wonderful family . Everybody should be so fortunate ! I wish Ms. Cruset every success . Cordially, DJL
2
Awesome! As a nervous father about to send my daughter off to college, I am grateful for the warmth and intelligence you display....now, and when you went off to Cornell. You also have a wonderful, caring family.
5
Her general experience is not dissimilar to that of all first generation Americans. It's that feeling of being a fish out of water, and of not feeling the same way about things. I love her mom's honesty and straightforwardness, none of which was mean-spirited at all. Things are what they are and there's nothing wrong or mean about presenting them as such; if anything it takes courage to state and face the sometimes bleak truth. I think American culture would benefit from more of the level-headedness that her mother demonstrated.
39
Vivid drama! The hero is the professor who wrote the useful endnote...
4
Beautiful piece. Thank you.
This article resonates with those of us who have had to watch our children stand alone for the first time. It's frightening and bitter-sweet, for parents and children alike. Ms. Crucet's story is an inspiration to the many first year college students, especially those who are first generation college students, who want to retreat to their cocoons but know the rewards of perseverance. Kudos to Ms. Crucet's family for allowing her to stand alone.
1
From the opposite end of the age spectrum, I identify with this. At 75 I have decided to take some university classes, feeling envy when my grandchildren talk about their assignments in college. Things are so totally and completely different than in 1958 when I entered Illinois State University, that I just go from day to day in prayer, hoping the guy in the financial office who is giving me advice (who looks like he's 12 years old), knows what he's talking about. I need someone with experience to shadow me around campus, telling me in advance when I'm taking the wrong path (with all its meanings.)
8
I am the Director of a university program designed exclusively for non-native English speakers (pathway programs), and I absolutely adored reading this. I will be sure all of my staff and faculty have read this before the start of classes (8/31).
Thank you for the article!
@otherminds
Thank you for the article!
@otherminds
10
First generation college attendees in this country today are either truly blessed, or unfairly cursed.
Blessed, if they have managed to find or make an affordable opportunity of accessing a higher education which might provide a viable 21st C future. Cursed, if they are likely prone to ending up in crushing debt for a pointless degree in an increasingly compromised labor market.
Following one's "bliss" is an ideal for bubble-raised elites.
The rest of us ask are merely asking for a living.
Blessed, if they have managed to find or make an affordable opportunity of accessing a higher education which might provide a viable 21st C future. Cursed, if they are likely prone to ending up in crushing debt for a pointless degree in an increasingly compromised labor market.
Following one's "bliss" is an ideal for bubble-raised elites.
The rest of us ask are merely asking for a living.
2
Ah, the experience of being a first generation college student of poor parents at an Ivy League school.... It really IS a case of not knowing what you don't know. There is no one to turn to and ask, and the most basic resources and norms of college are not on your radar screen. My parents could never even have afforded to travel with me and stay in a hotel -- I arrived alone, with all the wrong supplies and completely clueless. There were support groups at my Ivy for students from typically under-represented ethnicities (as there should have been), but there wasn't actually one for a poor white kid from outside the northeast. (Sure hoping things have changed and there is a better support system now). For me it was also a case of trying to hide my origins from my roommates and classmates, because I felt profound shame at not being like them. I made excuses when things happened like not being able to afford to go home for Thanksgiving, or home for my grandmother's funeral. I spent four years wondering whether my parents would be able to afford to come to graduation, and simultaneously worrying about what would happen if they did. (The point ended up being moot, because although I did get my degree, I didn't march -- I couldn't afford to turn down a job that wanted me to start the week before graduation. So, my parents never once saw or set foot on the campus where I spent four years). Kudos to you for not being ashamed of your family and for making it through.
38
DL, I hear you. My parents did not set foot in my college until the day of graduation. I was living in a suite then on campus with three extra beds (roommates, none of them seniors, had all moved out), so my family slept in the dorm with me during graduation events. I also remember my family awkwardly sitting in the corner not sure how to mingle with people of not only such a different cultural and linguistic background (my parents did speak adequate English), but who also were of such different class and education background.
Since you entered Cornell, the Ivies and other highly-selective colleges have made progress in sensitivity and support for first-generation students. And, just as important, first-gen students have started forming their own support networks. There will continue to be extreme differences in wealth and class background at these institutions, but everyone admitted can be made to feel welcome and included. It will take simple steps like keeping residence halls and some dining facilities open during fall and spring breaks for those students who cannot afford to travel home.
8
What a heartwarming story. I drove myself to college alone in a car with two suitcases and a cardboard box full of paperback books, drinking beer the whole way. Four years later I drove home in the same car pulling a small trailer, because I had acquired a lot more books. Drank beer the whole way home.
The Fall of 1970 I spent in a military barracks near San Francisco. I was in the top bunk and the guy in the bunk below me was a huge old country boy from Alabama. One day after mail call I was up in my bed reading my letters when I heard the guy below me break into shocked moans and sobs of grief.
I looked over the edge of my mattress and asked him: "Gosh, Cody, I am sorry, but who died?"
He looked up at me through streaming, desperate tears' "the mule."
That barracks fortunately had a machine that dispensed cold beer.
As I write this tonight, I can honestly report that beer has improved over the many decades. It is usually fresher, lighter in color, not as heavy tasting. Beer is proof that God loves us, as Ben Franklin observed.
The Fall of 1970 I spent in a military barracks near San Francisco. I was in the top bunk and the guy in the bunk below me was a huge old country boy from Alabama. One day after mail call I was up in my bed reading my letters when I heard the guy below me break into shocked moans and sobs of grief.
I looked over the edge of my mattress and asked him: "Gosh, Cody, I am sorry, but who died?"
He looked up at me through streaming, desperate tears' "the mule."
That barracks fortunately had a machine that dispensed cold beer.
As I write this tonight, I can honestly report that beer has improved over the many decades. It is usually fresher, lighter in color, not as heavy tasting. Beer is proof that God loves us, as Ben Franklin observed.
5
To have experienced something in life that your parents did not experience is just part of life. that is how people learn, Neither one of my parents went to college. My father was unable to finish high school. This was not a handicap. Colleges provided written material on the college experience is pretty expansive. You can always make a phone call to the school.
To me what was a lot more intimidating was going to basic training after graduating college. I did not have a guidebook. I was older but the 18 year olds who went right after high school managed to survive pretty well(probably better than me).
Get real here, Growing up involves challenges. Accept it.
To me what was a lot more intimidating was going to basic training after graduating college. I did not have a guidebook. I was older but the 18 year olds who went right after high school managed to survive pretty well(probably better than me).
Get real here, Growing up involves challenges. Accept it.
3
Reading between the lines I sense that a very loving and supportive family was the basis for a successful start in life; the author is a writer and college professor. No college orientation program could ever replace that.
141
One of the most important skills to learn in life is how to seek support and solace. Even the most intelligent person needs an insider's ear, whether it be at a new school, a new college, or a new job. Being able to go it alone is not a sign of success. This is something every high school student needs to be taught explicitly, directly, and through example and care.
7
Cloud Peak Project helps outstanding first generation students from low-income families apply and attend selective colleges like Cornell. In fact, two Cloud Peak students are already enrolled at Cornell and a third will start this fall.
I'm going to share this touching and funny article with each of the sixteen Cloud Peak students who will start college this fall. I know they are very eager to begin, and some may be a little anxious about the unknown college life they will soon experience.
One of our Cloud Peak students once asked "but where do you eat in college? Do you have a hot plate in your dorm room and cook there?" There's a lot that's new when anyone goes to college, and for students from families where no one has gone to college, the questions cannot be answered by parents.
I'm going to share this touching and funny article with each of the sixteen Cloud Peak students who will start college this fall. I know they are very eager to begin, and some may be a little anxious about the unknown college life they will soon experience.
One of our Cloud Peak students once asked "but where do you eat in college? Do you have a hot plate in your dorm room and cook there?" There's a lot that's new when anyone goes to college, and for students from families where no one has gone to college, the questions cannot be answered by parents.
6
As a professor at a community college outside one of the poorest cities in the Northeast - I just wanted to point out that your English professor was a bad professor. As a professor, the whole point of a test (or paper) is to help students explain what they know - which means giving them the tools. If the student has never come across "theoretical frameworks" (and in a 101 class one must assume it) the prof needs to have explained it along the way.
Doesn't matter if they had a Nobel Prize - they are a bad teacher if they left you (or any student) so lost. My issue should be getting students to realize they need to up their game and not rehash what worked in High School - not throwing them into the ocean blindfolded and then asking them to find land without a compass, map, or even a boat.
I hope I (and we) never lose sight of that. Also, students NEED to talk to their professors, especially when they are lost, have trouble, are confused, need guidance or have any issues affecting their ability to succeed at the class. Pride and fear need to be overcome - we are there (and are paid) to help student's succeed. Please, parents-councilors-authors remind your wards to talk to their professor (after class, office hours, ect...) when any issue arises. no one else is going to be able to help.
Doesn't matter if they had a Nobel Prize - they are a bad teacher if they left you (or any student) so lost. My issue should be getting students to realize they need to up their game and not rehash what worked in High School - not throwing them into the ocean blindfolded and then asking them to find land without a compass, map, or even a boat.
I hope I (and we) never lose sight of that. Also, students NEED to talk to their professors, especially when they are lost, have trouble, are confused, need guidance or have any issues affecting their ability to succeed at the class. Pride and fear need to be overcome - we are there (and are paid) to help student's succeed. Please, parents-councilors-authors remind your wards to talk to their professor (after class, office hours, ect...) when any issue arises. no one else is going to be able to help.
13
tyyriz - I respectfully disagree. As a college professor yourself, you must surely be aware that her confusion about the assignment does not necessarily mean the teacher didn't cover the material in class. By listing the various campus resources available to Ms. Crucet, he offered help as soon as he realized she needed it. That to me sounds like a good teacher.
Are all of your students always on top of the material --- and if they're not, do you always know before they hand in the quiz/paper/assignment? Does every student who should come talk to you, come talk to you? If you answered "no" to any of these questions, are you a bad teacher?
As a child of a brilliant but severe college professor (who was supportive and helpful and generous with his time to his students, but fumed about their childish helplessness and stupidity once he got home), I learned from an early age that if you have to ask the professor for help, it means you are too lazy or stupid to figure out the problem for yourself. A professor who says "if you're having trouble, come talk to me during office hours" is no match for that kind of early training. I did just fine in school, but the feeling that asking for help is an admission of defeat has, I recently realized, shaped the course of much of my life (not for the better).
Are all of your students always on top of the material --- and if they're not, do you always know before they hand in the quiz/paper/assignment? Does every student who should come talk to you, come talk to you? If you answered "no" to any of these questions, are you a bad teacher?
As a child of a brilliant but severe college professor (who was supportive and helpful and generous with his time to his students, but fumed about their childish helplessness and stupidity once he got home), I learned from an early age that if you have to ask the professor for help, it means you are too lazy or stupid to figure out the problem for yourself. A professor who says "if you're having trouble, come talk to me during office hours" is no match for that kind of early training. I did just fine in school, but the feeling that asking for help is an admission of defeat has, I recently realized, shaped the course of much of my life (not for the better).
2
I never understand these columns about so-called college-age independence.
Thirty years ago, when I was 17, my mother -- who never went to college -- dropped me off curbside at O'Hare with two suitcases and my bicycle (we'd sent ahead a trunk of other possessions). On my own I checked in for my flight to Boston, negotiated a taxi to my college campus, unpacked and decorated my dorm room, and started life as a freshman several days later.
It never occurred to me to feel anything but exhilarated to be on my own, without my family around, in one of the best cities in the world.
Thirty years ago, when I was 17, my mother -- who never went to college -- dropped me off curbside at O'Hare with two suitcases and my bicycle (we'd sent ahead a trunk of other possessions). On my own I checked in for my flight to Boston, negotiated a taxi to my college campus, unpacked and decorated my dorm room, and started life as a freshman several days later.
It never occurred to me to feel anything but exhilarated to be on my own, without my family around, in one of the best cities in the world.
16
What a timely piece! Around here it's the day before a new academic year today. A lot of freshmen are all over from small Midwest farming towns and first-gen. college kids. Some of my former students told me that this campus town is the biggest city they had ever been in and felt disoriented and alone in the middle of the crowd. Some of the first gen. come here on the G.I. Bill afer serving the country in the military. The university here puts effort to support the first gen kids emotionally, culturally, and socially, as well as financially. Still, they could definitely do more. Still, first gens (or not), no need to feel frustrated, everyone is on the same boat on college campus: alone, uncertain, and very uncomfortable. Some know how to cope with them better (because their parents were in their shoes and coached them how to get over fears and navigate the system). When you feel alone, uncertain, and uneasy, just look around and grab someone near you for information or just for a chat or to vent your concerns, who may happen to be experiencing the same type of disorientation and awkwardness. Chances are you might not know what you already know. Also, log onto the university website and type in your question or topic. Or, simply, Google!
3
Thanks for sharing your experiences as the first one in your family to attend a great college. In this case, a determination to stick around & learn, a strong supportive family, and the knowledge that you gained on a daily basis gave you the inner strength and the confidence to overcome any doubts.
With fragmented family a norm these days, how many first generation students can be that fortunate to have strong family to lean on during times of academic tribulations? Most, if not all, of the first generation students attend lesser endowed colleges where the academic support systems are quite tenuous.
With fragmented family a norm these days, how many first generation students can be that fortunate to have strong family to lean on during times of academic tribulations? Most, if not all, of the first generation students attend lesser endowed colleges where the academic support systems are quite tenuous.
2
KB - excellent points. I would like to add that academic support is a particular strength of the community college system, since as institutions they are aware that many (if not most) of their students are ill-prepared for college in one way or another. Community college provides a great way not only to learn, but to learn how to be a college student. Also they normally have an academic path in place for students who want to continue to a 4-year college, where you can then put both kinds of education to good use.
1
Great article. I felt the same way as I traversed undergraduate, medical school, and residency. Clueless! I just graduated but the road was not easy and required a lot of perseverence. As a first generation Canadian and the first in my family to attend college, I experienced many of the same stresses and anxieties. Thanks for writing this article!
8
Charming essay. Reminded me of Padre Padrone, the book and the movie, the 100% true story of Gavino Ledda, who was not only the first in his family to go to college, he did not even go to school till he was 20 years old (forced by his father -- the padre and the padrone of the title -- to herd the family's sheep), but ended up becoming a linguist, and a professor and a writer.
I hope Ms. Crucet's family will continue to accompany her on her journey.
I hope Ms. Crucet's family will continue to accompany her on her journey.
3
Yawn.
Yet another whining story about how tough it is to be recruited to (and presumably paid for) one of the world's finest universities. This woman -- now a professor(!) -- seems oblivious to the history of the 75,000,000 immigrants who preceded her. The only differences between her and them are: 1. they had no such opportunities, 2. they were not recruited, 3. they usually had quotas keeping them out of elite schools and 4. they never expected to
have someone hold their hand and guide them through the challenges.
Oh, and 5. they all did very well because they didn't complain, were grateful for the opportunities they did have.
Yet another whining story about how tough it is to be recruited to (and presumably paid for) one of the world's finest universities. This woman -- now a professor(!) -- seems oblivious to the history of the 75,000,000 immigrants who preceded her. The only differences between her and them are: 1. they had no such opportunities, 2. they were not recruited, 3. they usually had quotas keeping them out of elite schools and 4. they never expected to
have someone hold their hand and guide them through the challenges.
Oh, and 5. they all did very well because they didn't complain, were grateful for the opportunities they did have.
9
How mean! Why?
In the interests of historical accuracy, the City University of New York was free for everyone, immigrants included, from its inception until the early 1970's. It was, and still is, one of the country's finest university systems (i.e.: Maccauley Honors College of CUNY!). Hundreds of thousands of immigrants flooded its classrooms in the early 1900's, becoming Doctors, Lawyers, Bankers, Accountants, Business Managers, Artists, Public Officials and, yes..."Professors!"
Education is the pathway to success in the United States of America, and the opportunities exist for everyone who dares - or fights - to obtain the Promise of American Life!
Few complained then and few complain now. Its remarkable however that so many Americans today see the immigrant experience in a negative light. It is, frankly...UnAmerican!
In the interests of historical accuracy, the City University of New York was free for everyone, immigrants included, from its inception until the early 1970's. It was, and still is, one of the country's finest university systems (i.e.: Maccauley Honors College of CUNY!). Hundreds of thousands of immigrants flooded its classrooms in the early 1900's, becoming Doctors, Lawyers, Bankers, Accountants, Business Managers, Artists, Public Officials and, yes..."Professors!"
Education is the pathway to success in the United States of America, and the opportunities exist for everyone who dares - or fights - to obtain the Promise of American Life!
Few complained then and few complain now. Its remarkable however that so many Americans today see the immigrant experience in a negative light. It is, frankly...UnAmerican!
28
This sounds like sour grapes on your part. Paid for going to college? You skipped over the "work/study" and "signing for loans" elements. Just because the author had a lucky break doesn't mean it wasn't hard just to survive in a new social setting.
22
She's not complaining. If you believe that the author is trying to gain pity from the reader you're missing the point. The author is simply sharing her experience as a first generation college student. Articles like this need to be shared because there are thousands of students going through college on their own. Students need resources. The pull yourself up by your bootstraps mentality is wrong and not that way students from a more privileged background go through college. Giving first students the right resources not only benefits the student but it also benefits the university by increasing retention and graduation rates.
99
Thank you, Ms. Crucet, for writing this. As a college professor myself at a community college where we have many first gen. students, I try to be aware of their special challenges and this article makes me even more so. Coming myself from a family that has attended colleges or universities literally as long as such institutions have existed in the U.S. and before that, almost as long in England, it is very easy for me to lose sight of what I might think of as very simple problems or questions that can pose serious issues for students without any college education in their family background at all. It is essential I be mindful of this and reading this piece has served to renew my focus. Thank you again.
51
This is a great read from a not often tackled point-of-view: the cultural and societal adjustments that first-generation (or immigrants) experience when they send a child to college. I was the first in my family to also attend college. I could have stayed near my parents in Miami and attended a solid local college; moving to the Northeast to face academic rigors/cultural experiences, I emerged stronger individual because of it. There really isn't a greater and more satisfying feeling than being the first to break ground and overcome challenges through resilience and resourcefulness. Congrats to you Ms. Capo Crucet for doing the work.
3
The most important takeaway for me was that colleges work hard to recruit students but do not work as hard to lend them a helping hand after they enroll. It almost seems like they have lost interest in the student's success. It is just as foolish as one who woos a partner and after getting an affirmative just stops working on building that relationship.
38
For all of the internets evils, this is an area where information is much more accessible today.
I actually thought the article was going to be about the connectivity available today, and how parents never "leave" campus.
I actually thought the article was going to be about the connectivity available today, and how parents never "leave" campus.
3
That's what I was expecting too: a commentary on the inability of "helicopter parents" to stop hovering, and the kids' inability to grow under their constant shadow. In fact it ended up being kind of the opposite: "looks like you're in over your head, but this is what you wanted and now we can't help you. Best of luck! Love you. Bye now."
My wife and I both went to undergraduate and graduate school and so we've been able to help our boys navigate through issues with their classes and financial aid and the many other small and big things that can at times seem insurmountable obstacles to successfully completing a degree. And whenever we've helped our boys with these obstacles we've often talked about how difficult and even insurmountable these problems must be for kids who come from families who have never been there.
This article reinforces in a very real way the struggles that so many young men and women and their families go through to successfully complete their degree. When you check the retention and graduation statistics for strong / healthy public colleges what you see is a retention rate of around 70% and a graduation rate of 50%, but given all the problems that can pop up and sideline a hopeful student it's a wonder that even 50% are able to complete their degree.
This article reinforces in a very real way the struggles that so many young men and women and their families go through to successfully complete their degree. When you check the retention and graduation statistics for strong / healthy public colleges what you see is a retention rate of around 70% and a graduation rate of 50%, but given all the problems that can pop up and sideline a hopeful student it's a wonder that even 50% are able to complete their degree.
34
Deja vu for me. Rekindled all those feelings of anxiety and fears of failure that I experienced at first. Luckily for me, I was somewhat street smart and proficient at reading people. Those that were smug had an inside track on the professors expectations and those were as anxious as I was were asking lots of questions. So I asked questions. Lots of questions. Questions that answered the questions that others were afraid to ask. To my surprise, I not only graduated but also learned enough to be successful in the real world.
3
Though hardly feeling as much an alien in a strange new world, I, and likely many others, were truly blessed to have a talented and compassionate freshman English composition teacher who provided me with my first graded effort as a college student. It was in his class that I developed an inner intellectual writing voice that over time has served me in every aspect of my life as a professional educator. What I did not know then, and only found out because of the internet and our reconnection decades later, is that I was a member of his first class in 1963, literally an 8:00 A.M. M,W,F, on the first day of his life as a professional higher ed. teacher and administrator. We still remain very much in contact today. I am forever grateful as he, too, reached out in profound ways by providing that all important initial academic coaching to ensure my success in college.
43
Thanks for an excellent piece on what it's like to be the first -- and the first from an immigrant family, too. I spent over a dozen years teaching in higher ed., and most of those were at a community college that heavily emphasized bringing college to those who would not ordinarily consider attending - those who thought of themselves as "not college material" because of socio-economic reasons, immigration status, grades in high school, young parenthood, etc. It took me a little while to wrap my brain around the vast difference between MY college experience and the college experience of my average student, but they taught me well!
After my first year, I found myself vehemently standing up for those who went to community college, when I heard a comment implying that the students were somehow less motivated or less worthy of consideration than students at 4-year schools. When I explained the kinds of challenges that my students faced, yet still made the almost superhuman effort to be in college to better their educations, job possibilities, and their lives, the person who had been putting down "junior" colleges actually apologized.
It takes a lot of courage to undertake college as a first generation student. I admire every person who does it. It opens doors to a whole world of possibilities for the student, but also for his or her family. Once there has been one success, the floodgate is open, it seems, and others follow. It is awesome to see.
After my first year, I found myself vehemently standing up for those who went to community college, when I heard a comment implying that the students were somehow less motivated or less worthy of consideration than students at 4-year schools. When I explained the kinds of challenges that my students faced, yet still made the almost superhuman effort to be in college to better their educations, job possibilities, and their lives, the person who had been putting down "junior" colleges actually apologized.
It takes a lot of courage to undertake college as a first generation student. I admire every person who does it. It opens doors to a whole world of possibilities for the student, but also for his or her family. Once there has been one success, the floodgate is open, it seems, and others follow. It is awesome to see.
117
What a beautiful, sweet, and moving recollection of awkwardness, love, terror, and discovery. Class is the great unspoken American reality and this is just the kind of observant essay that illuminates it so well. Thank you.
28
Class is overrated. I do not see any difference between this story and many others. It is a microcosm and insular, just as if a fourth generation legacy wrote it. "My struggle" is worse than yours. My parents were too busy working to support me to the level the writer was.
1
As another first generation student I'd like to say how much I enjoyed reading this. When I was applying for university nobody in my family could offer any advice or assistance. Moving away from home and beginning classes was interplanetary travel. I dropped out for a while after my first year, but returned to finish my degree (and now three post grad degrees). I did not know anyone in the same position - it seemed as though all of the other students, with their university educated parents, were born ready.
19
This ought to be required reading for all College level administrators and faculty (as well as high school guidance counselors). What I have read seems to suggest that many bright immigrant/minority kids who get into colleges and universities have a hard time staying there and finishing, not because they are incapable but because of the kind of disconnect this author describes.
57
One of the messages from this column is that young people are more resourceful and resilient than they know. Congratulations to Ms. Crucet for successfully navigating those first bewildering months at Cornell and coming out on top.
The second message is that colleges need to be sure that students are aware of the resources available to them to help them over difficult terrain. This is especially true for students with non-traditional backgrounds or significant academic or social weaknesses. It is not fair to admit students only to let them flounder.
And for students having difficulty at any level of education: reach out for help.
The second message is that colleges need to be sure that students are aware of the resources available to them to help them over difficult terrain. This is especially true for students with non-traditional backgrounds or significant academic or social weaknesses. It is not fair to admit students only to let them flounder.
And for students having difficulty at any level of education: reach out for help.
78
I think there's a lot of evidence now that a little bit of intervention can go a long way to helping these kids succeed.
2
This is how one experiences the joy tinged with anxiety of writing on a clean slate that's readable to others coming as the first generation college students.
12
I too was first in my family to college.
I remember being completely clueless about so many ordinary things I know to help my own children. It was an alien world.
I did not have trouble with the school work. It was living, the dorm and day to day ordinary things, that gave me trouble.
We tell the same thing to new lawyers. They will know how to read cases and write legal analysis, but they won't know where the clerk's office is, or who to talk to about getting simple things done. They have no idea how to be a lawyer in day to day terms. It was a repeat of arriving at school.
Perhaps schools could and should do better, but it is a pattern that recurs in life. It is good to learn how to deal with it too. Thrown in the deep end is one way to learn that.
I remember being completely clueless about so many ordinary things I know to help my own children. It was an alien world.
I did not have trouble with the school work. It was living, the dorm and day to day ordinary things, that gave me trouble.
We tell the same thing to new lawyers. They will know how to read cases and write legal analysis, but they won't know where the clerk's office is, or who to talk to about getting simple things done. They have no idea how to be a lawyer in day to day terms. It was a repeat of arriving at school.
Perhaps schools could and should do better, but it is a pattern that recurs in life. It is good to learn how to deal with it too. Thrown in the deep end is one way to learn that.
52
For me the question is "where is the line between allowing a person the opportunity for personal growth and the reality that there are unnecessary barriers that limit success?" I lean hard towards removing barriers.
2
Your students are very lucky to have you. Your experience as a first gen student to go to college will stay with you and how you teach will always be guided by the feelings you experienced throughout your academic journey.
Both my parents went to the Ivies. I experienced the opposite of what you did: "what do you mean you don't know...? Oh, you missed that. That's not how you should look at... You're not doing...?"
I now go to college with my daughter, as a health aide and note taker. I homeschooled her before that. Her pressures are different than yours or mine. Her passions are different from mine. My job is to be in the background now. So I take notes and I enjoy what I see and hear.
Learning is so, so good, for everyone!
Both my parents went to the Ivies. I experienced the opposite of what you did: "what do you mean you don't know...? Oh, you missed that. That's not how you should look at... You're not doing...?"
I now go to college with my daughter, as a health aide and note taker. I homeschooled her before that. Her pressures are different than yours or mine. Her passions are different from mine. My job is to be in the background now. So I take notes and I enjoy what I see and hear.
Learning is so, so good, for everyone!
68
My parents pushed me relentlessly and I graduated high school and was way off to an ivy at 15. As a highly educated, older and single parent of a rising senior who would have loved to homeschool but wanted him to have the social experience, I am considering taking on the role of "health aide and note taker. " this is is universally frowned upon in my world but I have learned over the years that every family should do what is right for them and their kids . My son, so I am continually told by teachers, parents,etc is the most well- adjusted. , happy, and kind, kid .; he is as well second in his class and an accomplished athlete . i am a psychologist and think that conformist Procrustean beds cause much unnecessary damage in American families. I used to tell couples who came to seeme ,"take the money u r spending in therspy with me and buy a bigger apartment with separate bedrooms. You are people whiners space - it will make your togetherness easier and more joyful. " Madeleine L'Engle wrote a wonderful account of such a nonconformist but successful marriage
When grades came first quarter, it was a shock. I had always been a straight A student, and now got an A, two B's and a C. It is not surprising that the A was in math, and the C in English comp, which was all about sophistication.