The "dadbod" is the straight world's version of "bears." It's gets harder and harder to stay in shape as you age. Having a category that accepts a less-than-perfect body type take a lot of pressure off.
8
There isn't anything attractive about paunch, whether you call it "dad bod" or just middle age spread.
7
Actively stop eating and work exercise into your life and you will be fine. Try to be a great athlete, husband, father and worker and you will probably fail at one or more of the last 3. I let my tennis game do down a bit to teach my kids to play and they both were decent high school players. This is a converstation starter for morning TV for shut-ins(Hoda, etc) and no normal people even think of this
2
My Dad who died in 1964 was a lumberjack. Men who worked outdoors in those days had a different feel and look even though they didn[t "go to the gym." His strong body didn't define him as a dad, though. The fact that we felt secure in his care and that our family was honorable (and that had to be reflected in our behavior) did define him at the father of the family. Not until long after he has been gone did we realize what that gave all of us. His sense of humor with four teen age daughters ( and one son) also is appreciated in retrospect.
9
This just looks like another attempt to shame everyone into going to the the gym and working on their muscle definition. Well, people have all sorts of different interests and priorities in their lives, and relentless media campaigns aren't going to change them. Not every man or woman wants to spend most of their spare time working out or expects a potential partner to do so. No matter what the media and the fashion and fitness firms that advertise there say.
7
All of the "trendy" dad bod types are celebrities like Leonardo DiCaprio or Seth Rogen...yeah, many women find ANY rich and famous person desirable. This is not a "trend." If you are an average income SOB, the dad bod is not going to help you with the ladies.
11
Fascinating that what we're concerned about is how fathers' bodies change, and not how their behavior and emotions might be effected as a result of being a parent. In fact, a man's testosterone levels drop once he's had a child. He starts to do things like cradling babies (not just his own) on the left side, which facilitates development of the right brain, or emotion-center of the brain (men without children and boys do not cradle children on the left. They basically don't cradle them at all, but hold them more like a sack of potatoes with a head than anything else.) And yes, it is different for females, who from the start cradle babies on the left.
We need to become far more focused on emotional well-being and drop this obsession with appearance. And yes, certainly, some fathers still perpetrate bad deeds, but they are much, much less frequent.
We need to become far more focused on emotional well-being and drop this obsession with appearance. And yes, certainly, some fathers still perpetrate bad deeds, but they are much, much less frequent.
6
I would take an attentive father over a buff Dad, any day. They have surely put on a few pounds because they are stressed by doing the most difficult and under-valued job in the world... parenting!
7
It's good to see the data. Well written. It raises many questions that are fascinating to contemplate, though it's clearly not cause and effect. When I went to college, I was about 200lbs with a bit of a paunch. I took up running at 19. When my first kids (twins) were born, I was 40 and 165lbs. At 60, I'm still running but now about 177lbs. The leftover paunch I had at 18 is sagging more now though still it's not as pronounced as then.
Gravity!
Gravity!
2
My son is 46 years young and the father to an 11 year old boy. He races mountain bikes, runs, works out at the gym and is probably the same weight he was in college. No saggy "dad bod" here. And his wife is just as assiduous about staying fit by doing yoga, walking and doing barre classes. OK, I am a proud mom. I'm 70 years old and still a size 8!
4
I started running and lifting weights at 27. At 49, I'm in better shape than I was at 25, but in worse shape than I was at 40. I've never been overweight, but 3-5 pounds of new belly fat have crept up on me over the past three years or so. Given that my diet and fitness routine have not changed—in fact, I walk much more since moving to New York—it's clearly age-related. And I doubt I've become more attractive as a result. Maybe if my salary doubled, I'd suddenly become as inexplicably appealing as Don Draper.
4
5' 11" 155 lbs. 2 kids. Never been overweight. Love ice cream. One small bowl, no seconds. Eat at mealtimes, leave the table. Workout, active lifestyle. Have my share of worries like everyone else. I Choose to be thin. My three brothers are overweight. My sister is overweight. My mother was overweight. I choose to be thin. The only thing that annoys me is when people tell me how lucky I am to be naturally thin.
7
Just explain it to them like you did to us, and they'll think better of you right away.
9
I was a full time single dad. I put on a lot of weight. Mostly due to stress and the endless run around of parenting. Since my second is out of the house I have lost about ten inches around the waist. I can tell you, definitively, that women prefer the non-dad bod. Any statistics that say otherwise can probably be linked to another statistic that successful relationships need to include women that are slightly more thin than their mates. It follows that slightly heavier women seek slightly heavier men because that is who will accept them. What people say on the internet vs. what they do in real life rarely aligns.
5
'Dad bod', 'belly gap', schmad bod, schmelly gap. Really, who, besides those who are trying to convince us that we are duty-bound to work out 'til we drop, really cares? Sure, many a dad gains a few and loses that now-sacred muscle definition. That's probably because he's concerned with other things, such as doing his part in raising the kids - which means spending time with them, the more (especially in their view) the merrier - as well as being a good husband to their mum and making sure the family keeps a roof over their heads, food on the table, and that the bills are paid. Of course, these are minor matters compared to the importance our current 'culture' (ahem!) places on hitting the gym and playing 'King of the Mountain' in the abs and biceps department, but we all must make sacrifices in these trying times.
9
My dad never had a dad bod after 4 kids and a mostly desk-bound job, nor did any other dads we knew. It's the food, people.
22
Yep!!!
5
This is no different than a decade or two ago all women supposedly liked funny guys more than attractive guys. It sounds great and makes you feel good to answer a survey that way. It doesn't at all change how you are hard wired. No women is going to see this "dad bod" on the beach and instinctively take that extra 2/3 second glance.
11
I'm 39 and have two kids, a little north of 2 and 3 years respectively. The first couple years as a parent are very difficult, as it should be. The sleep depravation puts one's hormones into "survival mode" and most people gain fat, in varying ways. In the last year, we made some awesome changes and now I'm in the best shape physically than I've ever been in. The whole notion of yearning a dad bod is ludicrous. I was heading in that direction, slowly. And I started look more importantly feel sluggish. And now who wants that? Who leaked the dad bod term, big food and Anheuser-Busch? I guess in the end, I must just laugh at everything. It's the only thing to do...
6
This is another inane example of the narcissism of our age. "Dad bod" - as though we are talking about a phenomenon unique to our generation.
Good grief! We're talking about a middle age spread. We're older, we eat more and move less.
Good grief! We're talking about a middle age spread. We're older, we eat more and move less.
7
I'm glad the author took a humorous approach to this because the whole 'dad bod' thing is just totally ridiculous. I don't think anyone even wants to think about the concept of a 'mom bod,' even if they somehow think a 'dad bod' is kinda cute or a bit attractive.
2
'...even if they somehow think a 'dad bod' is kinda cute or a bit attractive...'
Which 'they' (women) most assuredly do not.
Which 'they' (women) most assuredly do not.
Bottom line it is a personal choice...most of the time a toned male bod is desirable to a woman but in degrees...ie..some women will only marry a toned man but many will marry a dad bod.
Doesn't quite work the same the only way since men are more visual...ie..prefer a toned, nice bod on a female rather than a "mom" bod.
Doesn't quite work the same the only way since men are more visual...ie..prefer a toned, nice bod on a female rather than a "mom" bod.
1
You're kidding, right?
8
Sure, you men keep telling yourself that women don't really care about a man's looks, if it makes you feel better.
4
No they really believe this stuff. They really are very deeply invested in the myth that men are more visual than we are, and that women love nothing more than a fat comedian.
2
I believe that a positive self image is important regardless of size. However, as a personal trainer, having a dad bod is not a healthy lifestyle. Medical professionals will tell you that even folks that are slightly overweight increase their chances of chronic illnesses exponentially. I recently blogged about this myself.
http://www.hiitworkouts.tv/the-dad-bod-the-flabby-stomach-is-in-style-bu...
http://www.hiitworkouts.tv/the-dad-bod-the-flabby-stomach-is-in-style-bu...
4
My husband and I aren't parents. Do I prefer the dadbod? Does my husband prefer the mombod? The answer to both questions is no. I am 10 lbs heavier, and my husband 20 lbs, than we were when we married 9 years ago. Both of us want for ourselves and each other to loose the weight so that we can maintain our health and strength as we enter our 50s. Our weight gain has largely been about less regular exercise due to work schedules, long commutes and other commitments. The weight is easier to gain and harder to lose with age; luckily for us we have the commitment in our marriage and love and caring for each other to see past the unwanted physcial changes. I find the whole dadbod discussion rather silly because I think it flies in the face a new human (and certainly western) obsession with youth and beauty. I don't buy that anyone prefers the dadbod any more than I do the mombod. Maybe the issue is that men now feel the same pressure that women have long experienced to be physcially attractive at whatever cost. Maybe instead of women acknowledging that they do wish their husbands and boyfriends were slim and toned they are really communicating that their priority is a reliable man, who loves them as much as they day the married despite grey hair, a few wrinkles and some new stretchmarks. It's about women having realistic expectations, perspective that comes from experience and a modicum of maturity.
2
Men and women typically seek a partner with similar muscle/fat ratio of themselves. Young people work out and eat healthy so that they can find a partner who also works out and eats healthy.
As couples mature together (and have kids) there is less pressure to remain in shape, because you are more confident that your partner wont leave you over something as superficial as body image.
Typically when people get divorced, however, they start working out, because they are once again, "on the market."
Therefore, in my opinion this has less to do with the kids themselves, and more so to do with the stability kids bring to a relationship.
As couples mature together (and have kids) there is less pressure to remain in shape, because you are more confident that your partner wont leave you over something as superficial as body image.
Typically when people get divorced, however, they start working out, because they are once again, "on the market."
Therefore, in my opinion this has less to do with the kids themselves, and more so to do with the stability kids bring to a relationship.
1
Women's alleged new interest in weak men is just feminists wielding the emasculation knife.
What makes you think these men are weak? Designating this as the "dad" bod suggests a man capable of making a commitment, capable of caring for other people, understanding that his waistline is not the most important priority in his life: none of that says "weak" to me. That says this is a MAN. I can completely understand why, silly as it is, it is tapping into something real in what a woman finds attractive.
4
My own dad's "dad bod" was more than capable of hammering most men's "fit bods"--so don't make the error of thinking you'd want to take on a "weak" dad, beer gut or none.
1
I think having children can humanize men, especially men who have daughters and begin to look at women in a new and more humane way. Some men are like this throughout their adulthood, but the likelihood of a dad seeing women as people (rather than the alternatives) is much higher than the average non-dad. For me that is part of the attraction: you see that older family man and you think not only "he's less of a narcissist" but also "he cares about real women and can relate to at least two of them."
4
Maintaining a healthy weight is much less about working out and much more about your diet. Perhaps Dads are heavier because they are around children and adolescents that eat like children and adolescents. Those trips to the fast food place, pizza and ice cream that kids enjoy probably means the parents are also eating the same things. Few kids want a healthy salad for dinner. In my experience its being around those calorie loaded foods that make it easy to gain weight.
5
So Seth Rogen is just outta shape.....
2
I don’t think the attraction is as much about the bod as the personality that goes with the bod. A six-pack bod might be nice to look at in a fashion magazine, but getting and maintaining a bod like that takes a lot more narcissism than a dad bod.
A dad bod is a visual signal that working out isn’t a guy’s top priority. That doesn’t mean Mr. Dad Bod necessarily has a great personality, but it signals that his workouts and his appearance aren't always at the top of his agenda. Some women find that a good thing.
A dad bod is a visual signal that working out isn’t a guy’s top priority. That doesn’t mean Mr. Dad Bod necessarily has a great personality, but it signals that his workouts and his appearance aren't always at the top of his agenda. Some women find that a good thing.
16
Working out has very little to do with it. It's your diet and calorie intake and food quality. You can't Mother a man and pack his lunch, and I understand women work too. However, it takes about the same amount of time to organize and plan healthy weekly meals for your family as it does to haul yourself out for dinner not to mention money saved. People make time for what they want to make time for.
My family ate well, and since then, the men I have been involved well have lost their extra weight just because I keep good food in my house and set a good example. My current SO eats like I do and is tall and slender in his late 50s and very healthy. I am not interested in Mr. Physique who's obsessed with the gym. However, after 50, I have found that the majority of divorced men are overweight and unhealthy, and I simply will not date them.
Letting yourself go means you take your partner for granted and you prefer food to intimacy. Good luck with that. I can pretty much guarantee that most of the overweight married people are not getting much at home.
Frankly, Dad Bod sounds disgusting and unhealthy.
My family ate well, and since then, the men I have been involved well have lost their extra weight just because I keep good food in my house and set a good example. My current SO eats like I do and is tall and slender in his late 50s and very healthy. I am not interested in Mr. Physique who's obsessed with the gym. However, after 50, I have found that the majority of divorced men are overweight and unhealthy, and I simply will not date them.
Letting yourself go means you take your partner for granted and you prefer food to intimacy. Good luck with that. I can pretty much guarantee that most of the overweight married people are not getting much at home.
Frankly, Dad Bod sounds disgusting and unhealthy.
Or second, third, or fourth on his agenda. Extra weight around the waist raises a person'a odds of diabetes, heart disease, cancer, and stroke. Nothing attractive about any of that.
1
'...it signals that his workouts and his appearance aren't always at the top of his agenda. Some women find that a good thing...'
There is a huge difference between a person being obsessed with workouts and their appearance and exercising and keeping your weight down.
Not too many women find a man who can't be bothered to do either attractive, unless they are the same type themselves.
There is a huge difference between a person being obsessed with workouts and their appearance and exercising and keeping your weight down.
Not too many women find a man who can't be bothered to do either attractive, unless they are the same type themselves.
I just turned 60 and my youngest of 3 sons is about to head off to college in August.
I now weigh 38 pounds less than I did when my oldest went away to college 6 years ago. First I got very sick and that took care of the first 10 pounds. The remainder was through a change to more protein and less carbs in my vegetarian diet and serious aerobic and strength training exercises at least 3 times a week - primarily playing soccer and lifting light weights with a lot of reps. I went from 155 as a young man to a peak of 185. Now I'm between 147-150lbs.
The thing is I never noticed the weight gain. It just happened slowly over 20 years in a way that tricks you into thinking, "I'm in good shape", when you are really not. I commuted to work on my bike, averaging 60 miles a week but ate too many Carbs and loved too much ice cream.
Now when I look at photos from 6-10 years ago I can see the weight I had and now I can see the weight I've lost. I also see people who are half my age who I have known for a number of years and I am seeing them beginning to put on weight the same way I did - slowly. One late night snack or meal at a time.
I feel healthier, I can play in back to back soccer games on the weekends and live to tell about it on Mondays, I like what my "dad bod" can do when I play soccer, ride my bike, or climb the 5 flights of stairs to my apartment.
I now weigh 38 pounds less than I did when my oldest went away to college 6 years ago. First I got very sick and that took care of the first 10 pounds. The remainder was through a change to more protein and less carbs in my vegetarian diet and serious aerobic and strength training exercises at least 3 times a week - primarily playing soccer and lifting light weights with a lot of reps. I went from 155 as a young man to a peak of 185. Now I'm between 147-150lbs.
The thing is I never noticed the weight gain. It just happened slowly over 20 years in a way that tricks you into thinking, "I'm in good shape", when you are really not. I commuted to work on my bike, averaging 60 miles a week but ate too many Carbs and loved too much ice cream.
Now when I look at photos from 6-10 years ago I can see the weight I had and now I can see the weight I've lost. I also see people who are half my age who I have known for a number of years and I am seeing them beginning to put on weight the same way I did - slowly. One late night snack or meal at a time.
I feel healthier, I can play in back to back soccer games on the weekends and live to tell about it on Mondays, I like what my "dad bod" can do when I play soccer, ride my bike, or climb the 5 flights of stairs to my apartment.
8
This result is probably just a function of age: the childless tend to be younger than those with children, and younger people are thinner.
1
That's nonsense. I am 65 and the same weight as high school. Yes I have to eat less, but duh?
2
Neck wide as your head, whether achieved at the gym or on the sofa, is a bad look.
15
All those who are satisfied with their dad bods, I guess that's good for you. Now maybe we can let all those women with mom bods off the hook and stop pushing some skinny female ideal at them.
Meanwhile, my 59yo husband (we're married 37 yrs next week) looks the best and is the most fit he's been in decades, possibly ever. Although a father, no dad bod for him - years of weight workouts and several days per week of martial arts have been a great physical and mental release, and have resulted in a healthy body and mind.
Meanwhile, my 59yo husband (we're married 37 yrs next week) looks the best and is the most fit he's been in decades, possibly ever. Although a father, no dad bod for him - years of weight workouts and several days per week of martial arts have been a great physical and mental release, and have resulted in a healthy body and mind.
21
I'm all for that. I have a dad bod, which I attribute mostly to eating home cooked meals by my lovely wife and spending my time with my family rather than at a gym with other single meatheads. Am I completely satisfied with a dad bod? No, I'm always trying to improve myself, physically as well as mentally. For now, though, I have to deal with it as best I can. Since I am raising a family, I don't have the time or money to spend on gyms or martial arts, etc, so I stick with my workouts of playing with toddlers and doing work around the house.
I wish we could, as a society, stop worrying about images of others. We should focus on ourselves not the dad bod or meathead across the street from us. I've seen articles like this and I've seen videos of unrealistically upset meatheads that are yelling at why dad bods are ridiculous and how women could never find someone with a dad bod more physically attractive than him with his Arnold-like muscles. (Perhaps he is jealous, or perhaps he is missing a few brain cells due to all the working out of muscles other than his brain.) Either way, I'd rather we stop looking to push any ideals onto other people and focus on our own ideals for ourselves.
I wish we could, as a society, stop worrying about images of others. We should focus on ourselves not the dad bod or meathead across the street from us. I've seen articles like this and I've seen videos of unrealistically upset meatheads that are yelling at why dad bods are ridiculous and how women could never find someone with a dad bod more physically attractive than him with his Arnold-like muscles. (Perhaps he is jealous, or perhaps he is missing a few brain cells due to all the working out of muscles other than his brain.) Either way, I'd rather we stop looking to push any ideals onto other people and focus on our own ideals for ourselves.
15
There is definitely a double standard in place. My wife is continually complaining about her weight since she had our son, which bewilders me since I think she's beautiful. And I have gained some weight, but I'm okay with it.
22
Nothing new. Plenty of gay guys around with "dad" fixations.
Some of us depend on that.
Some of us depend on that.
8
Worth a look at The Daily Show bit on this (nails it, as usual):
http://thedailyshow.cc.com/videos/xmkaac/dad-bods
http://thedailyshow.cc.com/videos/xmkaac/dad-bods
6
where is bohemienne when we need him/her?
4
This is a joke, right?
Currently rolling my eyes at him/her, think it's a her, at WaPo.
Currently rolling my eyes at him/her, think it's a her, at WaPo.
Read somewhere that maried men with chikdren have longer life expectancy. Would have been good to add this to the dicussion.
3
I wish they had factored out the effect of marriage, i.e., compare married men with kids against married men with no kids. I assume a greater % of men with kids are married. And I firmly believe that marriage makes a man soft and care less about his health. (I'm aware of the finding that married men live longer.)
4
In case you haven't noticed there is a completely different body type happening in the US while the rest of the world still looks normal. Americans are bigger, wider and rounder than an average adult from, say, Europe. And it is a good thing that you guys are trying to live with it, but do not exclude women. They also deserve happiness.
18
By trying to spread the idea that women actually prefer the soft, doughy "Dad Bod", men just "want to have their cake, and eat it too."
24
No mention of Leo DiCaprio? He isn't a Dad, but didn't his increasingly bloated body start the "Dad bod" discussion?
5
Would somebody please hold my beer, so that I can finish reading this?
26
I just see this as another excuse justifying our jumbled priorities as a culture and excusing poor health habits. To be a dad does not mean you need to throw good eating habits and exercise out the window - these habits should be built way before kids come along and can be passed down to them. A kid is no excuse to stop caring for yourself, if anything it is the biggest reason in your life to get your health on track.
Would that take some will power? Sure - but people become better people for their loved ones all of the time. If you don't take care of yourself you are ultimately failing those around you.
Would that take some will power? Sure - but people become better people for their loved ones all of the time. If you don't take care of yourself you are ultimately failing those around you.
28
It's not just a matter of willpower and building healthy habits before the children start arriving. Children consume time and discombobulate your life in different ways. I speak from experience. No, I didn't give up completely but, yes, I've developed a dad-bod.
5
It's all about the pizza kids demand when they're not toddlers any more. Moms resist. Dads call for delivery.
5
I hate this new "fad" so much, I cannot tell you. Interestingly enough, as the article cites, my husband's "dad bod" began in the last two years, once my children were both well out of toddler years. I have struggled for years with my weight, but regularly work out and watch what I eat. My thin-by-genetics husband, however, has virtually quit working out - and when he does he avoids cardio like the plague. In the meantime, his beer consumption has probably increased. I worry about his health as he's put on probably 20 lbs. in the last two years. He also has trouble sleeping, and his stress levels are through the roof. He also sacrifices any time he could spend at the gym when they are awake in the evenings, even though we have a gym and a pool in our complex, and he should just go - I let him know I've got the kids, no problem, and they are old enough to finish homework on their own, really. But the last time I mentioned it to him, he brought up the whole "Dad Bod" thing. It's frustrating.
34
My experience is that the only thing you can do is to engage in regular exercise yourself and help in providing healthful foods for the family. He should know that bad habits catch up with men fast.
6
Maybe give the guy a break. If he's stressed out, he may be better off getting support for that than being nagged to get a hot body.
8
His stress levels are through the roof? He's tired but he can't sleep? He gained 20 pounds in two years? Maybe he should be going to a doctor before you push the gym.
And let's be frank. You have kids. Do you still have sex? A regular sex life could sure help with that stress - and the drinking and eating that so many people resort to to regulate stress. I hope that you're not avoiding it because you're put off by his weight.
Sometimes guys who were naturally thin gain the most when they're in their 40s because they never had to worry about gaining weight before. They are often "emotional" or "comfort" eaters, but nobody's dy thought it was a problem when they were thin.
And let's be frank. You have kids. Do you still have sex? A regular sex life could sure help with that stress - and the drinking and eating that so many people resort to to regulate stress. I hope that you're not avoiding it because you're put off by his weight.
Sometimes guys who were naturally thin gain the most when they're in their 40s because they never had to worry about gaining weight before. They are often "emotional" or "comfort" eaters, but nobody's dy thought it was a problem when they were thin.
1
Since the American male baseline has become so excessively heavy, dad or no-dad matters little. Look at movies from the 1940s and 1950s: American men were shaped like men in other parts of the world. Look at American men now.
It's the fast food and the junk food. It's eating what gets advertised on TV. When the baseline is a a gentleman whose very loose T shirt hangs down at a point very far in front of his toes, a few pounds more or less are irrelevant.
That same food is making American men shorter.
Compare the average American white man with the average Norwegian or Italian with whom he shares the same ancestors/genes, and you see it has nothing to do with evolution.
It's the fast food and the junk food. It's eating what gets advertised on TV. When the baseline is a a gentleman whose very loose T shirt hangs down at a point very far in front of his toes, a few pounds more or less are irrelevant.
That same food is making American men shorter.
Compare the average American white man with the average Norwegian or Italian with whom he shares the same ancestors/genes, and you see it has nothing to do with evolution.
29
I agree that Americans are much fatter than they were decades ago. But I doubt looking at movies is a good way to gauge real life. If people looked at movies from 2015 in 100 years they would conclude we're all skinny and fit - not true.
Also, I think that in addition to changing food habits the banishment of cigarettes from daily life has contributed a lot to America's weight gain. People used to smoke a lot more and eat a lot less. In countries where people still smoke a lot more (ie, Italy, France) you also see thinner frames. IMO, not a coincidence. I'm not saying people should start smoking again, but it's just a factor that's rarely looked at.
Also, I think that in addition to changing food habits the banishment of cigarettes from daily life has contributed a lot to America's weight gain. People used to smoke a lot more and eat a lot less. In countries where people still smoke a lot more (ie, Italy, France) you also see thinner frames. IMO, not a coincidence. I'm not saying people should start smoking again, but it's just a factor that's rarely looked at.
8
With a new baby in the house, stressed and sleepless, your willpower gets depleted and you succumb to vice more than you can exercise vigilance over your behavior. Not overnight, but little by little, that extra late night snack or extra glass of wine sticks to you, and that exercise you were going to do at 6AM becomes more and more of a noble ambition than a reality. That is the making of the true parent bod -- not just the dad bod, and certainly not the beer-swilling, gyro-scoffing college wannabe.
31
I don't have a "Dad Bod", but just wondering how this fits in with evolutionary socio-biology or whatever it's called...
Maybe a husky male frame appeals to heterosexual women because it sent the message "Mate with me. You can see I will create strong offspring and be able to care for them well because I am big and strong. The extra weight around my middle is further proof of how good I am at this hunter-gatherer thing".
Maybe a husky male frame appeals to heterosexual women because it sent the message "Mate with me. You can see I will create strong offspring and be able to care for them well because I am big and strong. The extra weight around my middle is further proof of how good I am at this hunter-gatherer thing".
8
Some call it looking "prosperous"
2
'...Maybe a husky male frame appeals to heterosexual women...'
Except for the fact that is doesn't, although men like to think the opposite.
Except for the fact that is doesn't, although men like to think the opposite.
16
I don't know about you, but a Dad bod sends the message to me that a man with a little pooch around his waist isn't going to complain about the little pooch around my waist, that he'd rather share a nice dinner with me than meet me at the gym for a strenuous and sweaty workout, and that he'd rather sit on the couch and share a bowl of popcorn and watch a movie with me than go off and do extreme sports with his buffed-up manly friends. To me, a man with a nice full beard and some give to his middle is extremely sexy and as comforting as a teddy bear.
1
Not my husband, thank goodness. He still works out and is fit at 75--and we have 5 kids. People never guess his age correctly. Yay for the fit dad from the fit mom.
41
How do the authors make the leap that just because dads are fatter, that must mean they are more desirable? Maybe this is wishful thinking. Dads (and moms) are fatter because there is less time to exercise and live an active lifestyle outside of chasing the kids around. Also, there is no one to keep them in check since their respective spouses are also fat. In general, women are more concerned about their weight to begin with whether they are moms or not. That's just our culture.
24
You neglect to mention that while women may currently have an "alleged new interest in the soft, doughy 'dad bod" (often with beards it seems), gay men's interest in the very same 'dad-bod' type reaches back nearly twenty years to the bear movement.
10
Another darn good reason not to procreate.
10
You wouldn't be here if your parents thought like you.
6
Great article, but the authors need to clarify which numbers are controlled for age and which are not, as this is a dominant factor!
2
There is a conspiracy afoot. Mom-bods claim to like dad-bods, but I suspect it is a mutual agreement to not nag each other about weight and accept the parent-bods. If the mom-bod critiques the dad-bod, the kettle will then call the pot fat.
66
And vice-versa, right?
Kids in the house means different food - usually a lot more sugar and other bad stuff - which end up being fed or foraged at night to poor dad. No way out of that exposure unless you have tremendous willpower
15
Precisely.
Although dads do "forage" on fast food and snacks at work when on their own, greatest factor in this is more junk food brought into the house, usually by mom, ostensibly for the kids.
Although dads do "forage" on fast food and snacks at work when on their own, greatest factor in this is more junk food brought into the house, usually by mom, ostensibly for the kids.
Pathetic excuse not to care about self appearance and health ; and a sure way to supporti an already overloaded medical system of codependency on pharmaceuticals and trips to the doctor instead of the gym.
12
Rain, sleet, snow, searing heat--nothing kept my husband from sitting in the stands, watching his children play sports and/or ride the bench.
He has driven morning carpool for years (and has only 5 days left) and he LIKES it.
He used to pack lunches for everyone every school day (including mine) and frequently makes dinner.
He folds laundry and unloads dishes whenever needed.
He's never missed a school event.
He was the parent who rode along without screaming so both kids could learn to drive.
When both children were little, he claimed bath time.
HE is the parent who cried at the thought of our first going to college.
So, yeah, he's got a dad bod. I don't even notice it.
He has driven morning carpool for years (and has only 5 days left) and he LIKES it.
He used to pack lunches for everyone every school day (including mine) and frequently makes dinner.
He folds laundry and unloads dishes whenever needed.
He's never missed a school event.
He was the parent who rode along without screaming so both kids could learn to drive.
When both children were little, he claimed bath time.
HE is the parent who cried at the thought of our first going to college.
So, yeah, he's got a dad bod. I don't even notice it.
122
Your husband sounds very desirable! Beauty is as beauty does!!
6
a keeper...
3
I've been a dad for 17 months. I was in excellent shape before the baby. I've gained exactly 10 lbs and i've gone from a 33 waist to a snug (optimistic) 34 since. My 10K mile has gone from 7 minutes to 9 1/2 minutes. The reasons are obvious: (1) I don't have as much free time for exercise and gym, and (2) we don't have enough free time to cook healthy meals and we cook easy meals or order takeout instead. I've accepted that I probably won't get back into great shape until my kids are in college. It's all worth it, though.
65
nah, when they're in middle school, they'll need a much less intensive kind of parenting -- and, the truth is, they'll stop wanting to hang out with you -- that's when you can rediscover your inner Bannister!
9
Somewhere there is a parallel universe where gay guys are (or are not) talking about these things, but you wouldn't know it from this article, either way.
11
I weigh the same 135# I did after basic training in 1968.
Never tempted to reproduce, or grow up or get serious.
Mea culpa.
Never tempted to reproduce, or grow up or get serious.
Mea culpa.
10
Your forgot to mention your funny regular rants against "guy cheerleaders".
Man, I love those!
Man, I love those!
How did the cartoon get that weight over his head? My body hurts.
6
There's a difference between accepting a man's dad - bod and desiring it.
81
Actually it's 10 lbs/year!
6
"Another finding: The belly gap between dads and non-dads is small compared with the variation among dads and among non-dads."
That sounds like there's no significant difference.
That sounds like there's no significant difference.
1
That's because you don't know very much about statistics. If the difference between populations tended to be larger than the difference within populations, then you wouldn't even need concepts like statistical significance.
1
Using Seth Rogen as an example of "dadbod" and then asserting that his girth is only a matter of ten extra pounds and two inches is a prime example of male privilege. Women could never put on that amount of weight and call it "just ten pounds." Seth Rogen is clinically obese. So are most men in America.
95
The 'dad bod' seems like a great idea, for both men and women. I think we women need to borrow a page from the men's playbook here. Far from being jealous of their self-acceptance, women should seek to emulate it! Because the primer for females over the age of about 9 in this culture, if seriously followed, seems to lead to deprivation, unhappiness and self-loathing, interspersed with fleeting feelings of pride and narcissism. Not to mention heavy credit-card debt.
22
Who are these supposed women who find "dad bods" sexy? No one I know. Maybe it's the fatter wallets that women find attractive.
93
I smell a male-manufactured self-delusion here in this whole dad-bod claim.
47
I would think that the drain in cash compensates for any increase body weight........
4
This article failed to leap into any potential causal pathways going on here. For instance, studies* have found that testosterone levels decrease once one becomes a father and, all else equal, lower testosterone levels typically lead to weight gain. And as this article mentions, there is little difference in weight between fathers/non-fathers at 25 so one would be hard pressed to say that heavier men are MORE likely to become fathers because the extra fat suggests a potential mate has other desirable qualities.
In short, isn't it plausible that this dad-bod discussion is more about the desirability of well-established, "good" fathers who happen to be a bit rounder because of testosterone decreases and not that the dad-bod is desirable in of of itself?
*Here is one such study as mentioned by the NYT: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/13/health/research/13testosterone.html
In short, isn't it plausible that this dad-bod discussion is more about the desirability of well-established, "good" fathers who happen to be a bit rounder because of testosterone decreases and not that the dad-bod is desirable in of of itself?
*Here is one such study as mentioned by the NYT: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/13/health/research/13testosterone.html
12
'...more about the desirability of well-established, "good" fathers...'
Wishful thinking on the part of men, as nothing is as big of a turn off to women as a man pushing a baby carriage.
Wishful thinking on the part of men, as nothing is as big of a turn off to women as a man pushing a baby carriage.
5
Was this written by a woman purporting to represent women in general, or by a man who is a bit frightened by "feminized" men?
1
Hmm. My wife seems to still be attracted to me in spite of my spending many hours logged behind the wheels of a stroller. Or do you mean other women aren't attracted to me when they see me playing with my kids? My wife's probably ok with that too...
7
I'm glad that society is trending a back towards finding weight attractive. Between women with big butts and curves being hot again, to men with "dad bods", I'm glad that six pack abs are no longer a requirement to be considered attractive.
6
Yes, if only it were actually true.
38
Fit and ripped
so sexy at a glance
oh but for the Tinder chance
but as daily dose of bread
a nagging reminder of reps not did
so sexy at a glance
oh but for the Tinder chance
but as daily dose of bread
a nagging reminder of reps not did
4
So, is the weight gain 'sympathy weight'?
2
Only a man would believe that women like men with a beer gut, rather than a body like a (young) Brad Pitt.
112
Or maybe a man that has a real woman at his side like I do (no beer gut, but I do have a dad bod)? Some women are attracted to brains over dumb muscles. Love happens to everyone, but when attraction is based only on physical looks it's not love.
5
Childbirth IS hard on the body. C'mon.
19
My husband frequently tells people that he found labor and childbirth to be no big deal, so he doesn't understand all the fuss.
5
No doubt there is a double standard - with men, extra weight is blamed on their collective decision to "let themselves go". If this article were about women's bodies it would be filled with talk of victimization, overwork and sacrifice!
32
Interesting. I've never heard "let themselves go" except about women.
2
And the Grand-dad bod? Sign me up.
35