I was taught to look the adult straight in the eye and say "my daddy told me you can't touch me there, or kiss me, etc" and to immediately move away from that adult. Kids need to be given the tools to stop the situation from going any further and to alert the adult that they are clear there actions are wrong.
Thank you Calvin for yet another wonderful piece of writing. To say so much in so few words is what makes you one of the greatest.
2
"The Barber's Final Touch?"
How well I recall these mysteries of the 1950's.
A new student came to our high school in those years; he had, it was said, been thrown out of military school. Jonesy, we called him, short for the Alan Jones that was his real name. He was tough looking, with one of those 1950 haircuts called a D.A. - a "duck's ...," slicked back along the sides and combed forward on the top. No crewcut for Jonesy.
He wasn't a great student, but he fit in fairly quickly, and he was soon running around with the "boys" at night, to the bars that served us without question, no ID's needed, and driving around in rods, looking for chicks.
Only later did a friend who had attended the same military school tell me that Jonesy had been expelled for sleeping with another boy. Poor Alan, a secret life lay behind that macho exterior, so carefully cultivated. He had hidden it perfectly, as far as I know, without even a quick stroke across the pants to betray him, as Mr. Trillin's barber had done.
And then on an evening in the 1970's, but still in the same town - where I had returned to raise a family, I saw Jonesy pick up a guy at our local jazz club, and walk out into the street with him.
I smiled at Jonesy as he left that night. The music was good at that bar. Bill Evans played there one night. Chet Baker, too.
How well I recall these mysteries of the 1950's.
A new student came to our high school in those years; he had, it was said, been thrown out of military school. Jonesy, we called him, short for the Alan Jones that was his real name. He was tough looking, with one of those 1950 haircuts called a D.A. - a "duck's ...," slicked back along the sides and combed forward on the top. No crewcut for Jonesy.
He wasn't a great student, but he fit in fairly quickly, and he was soon running around with the "boys" at night, to the bars that served us without question, no ID's needed, and driving around in rods, looking for chicks.
Only later did a friend who had attended the same military school tell me that Jonesy had been expelled for sleeping with another boy. Poor Alan, a secret life lay behind that macho exterior, so carefully cultivated. He had hidden it perfectly, as far as I know, without even a quick stroke across the pants to betray him, as Mr. Trillin's barber had done.
And then on an evening in the 1970's, but still in the same town - where I had returned to raise a family, I saw Jonesy pick up a guy at our local jazz club, and walk out into the street with him.
I smiled at Jonesy as he left that night. The music was good at that bar. Bill Evans played there one night. Chet Baker, too.
8
Im not sure which is more disturbing; the fact that a crew cut might be considered "artistic" or that those particular crew cuts could remain so despite the "finish".
4
I will be happy all day because I read Calvin Trillin's column before breakfast.
5
What a great story. I went to a Catholic high school in New Jersey. The nicknames were the same. "The boys" were the same. The memories are the same. We handled those situations just like that.
2
Calvin Trillin has always been one of my favorite writers--he is wise and funny and poignant. "The Short Cut" is mostly a wonderful memory of the characters he grew up with. Saying all that, I find that this takes the issue of an adult using a situation for "sneaking in a stroke of our private parts" and offers the solution of just grinning and bearing it. So this group of boys has found THEIR solution, but what of others boys, maybe younger or more frightened, that haven't? In the light of the scandals in Catholic church, Penn State, etc. this piece seems wildly out of it. The excuse that the barber's actions are tolerable because he gave a great crew cut is objectionable, not funny and disturbing. A test of this is, of course, to substitute young women for the men. Then the barber's actions are not amusing. So the piece also falls into a kind of macho territory--we are men; we can handle it. Think of all the others who didn't/couldn't. This is a story that seems old and out of touch--and just offering a view of the good old days (that might not have been so good, after all) is no justification.
11
I have loved you, CT, for over 30 years, and I treasure a note you sent me in reply to a fan letter. But in this instance, you show great thoughtlessness. What you did was no solution, and I warrant that this barber's crimes totaled more than crotch-grabs. Stories like this place responsibility on children to solve (or think they should solve) things they can't solve. And really, what difference does it make if a pedophile gives great crewcuts, writes plays, shows fondness for dogs, or hits homeruns. I'm disappointed in you, sir.
3
He's not saying what they did is the solution; he's just saying it's what they did. It was the 50s, and, for better or worse (and in this case, certainly for worse), children did not question the actions of adults with nearly the freedom they do today. I had a first-grade teacher who used to tie the hands of restless children behind their backs, and put paper grocery bags over the heads of talkative kids because, as she said, "that's how I get my birds to be quiet in their cage." She also called kids to the front of the room, had them stretch their arms out in front of them, and then slapped their hands with a ruler. Did it never once occur to me to go home and tell my mother what was happening in that classroom? Nope. Would I have wanted my own kids to tell me? You bet I would, and because they went to grade school in the 90s, they would have. But the 50s were different.
4
I disagree. These boys came up with a simple solution to what otherwise would be a problem. They reversed the chances of being victims by directly addressing the behavior and saying NO.
2
We all had crew cuts in the 50's? Were there no women then, or did they have crew cuts, as well?
2
Loved being inside the male world ....Loved the humor. (I have never forgotten what one of my men friends told me when he changed to a female hair stylist, "I'd rather have a woman's breast accidentally brush up against my shoulder than have a barber's hand accidentally brush by my crotch." Delightful and entertaining piece. Thank you.
1
This is how it's done.
4
"Sit on it"? You say that to anybody, and the fight started. As for Private Parts, that was No-Man's-Land.