I thought the NYT has a liberal leaning audience? There sure are a lot of Church Ladies telling women what they should do with their bodies in this comment section.
46
Thank you for such an enlightened essay. We may harp on gender inequality while pursuing stupid fetishes. Well into our middle age, we still try to forcefully wriggle into size 2 pair of jeans. We foolishly spend tonnes of money on fake ( these guys should be sued for false advertising )age -defying, anti-wrinkle creams. Why do we have to have our fuzz and bush diappear while the men have forests on their chests,abdomens,butts, arms and legs? For that we have only ourselves to blame. We just cannot get out of this mindset of being objectified. And we pass on these foolishness to our daughters and grand-daughters. They get trapped, never satisfied with what they see in the mirror. Don't expect the men to change anytime soon. They will always maintain the status quo. It is for us, women to get out of this rut. We have to 'snatch' gender-equality. It will never be handed to us. PERIOD.
118
Let's take a deep breath.
Perhaps Ms. Weiner should consider that all of those photos have the benefit of "Photoshop" or the equivalent. When is the last time you saw a movie star on the street(over 30? that looked anything like her photoshopped Vogue photos.
Eleanor Roosevelt had a lot of brains going for her...and used them. There are plenty of women capable of looking at pretty photos and appreciating them for the altered reality they represent.
I am quite sure the model for the Mona Lisa was more flawed and benefited from Leonardo's brush.
And, you are living in a country whose biggest problem is obesity and junk food. That is a problem that is gender blind. The amount of people who emulate this is a feeble, although frequently photographed, minority.
Perhaps Ms. Weiner should consider that all of those photos have the benefit of "Photoshop" or the equivalent. When is the last time you saw a movie star on the street(over 30? that looked anything like her photoshopped Vogue photos.
Eleanor Roosevelt had a lot of brains going for her...and used them. There are plenty of women capable of looking at pretty photos and appreciating them for the altered reality they represent.
I am quite sure the model for the Mona Lisa was more flawed and benefited from Leonardo's brush.
And, you are living in a country whose biggest problem is obesity and junk food. That is a problem that is gender blind. The amount of people who emulate this is a feeble, although frequently photographed, minority.
29
I decided to save the forty bucks/month (or more often?) it costs to get waxed for my retirement fund. Makes me feel more serene at a deeper level.
125
As a graphic designer and Photoshop teacher, I also have to note that Photoshop is used HEAVILY in these kinds of publications. Even on women with incredibly beautiful (by pop culture standards) bodies. It's quite sad because the imagery we're expected to live up to (or approximate) by cultural standards, is illustration. It's not even real. My boyfriend and I had a big laugh over a Playboy cover a few months ago where the Photoshopping was so extreme (thigh gap and butt cheek) it was anatomically impossible and looked ridiculous. I work in the industry.. I know what the Liquify filter and the Spot Healing Brush can do!
176
What SI has done to remain"relevant" is shameful and embarrassing.
Granted, as an original subscriber at age 10 I'm probably not in their desired demographics...
Granted, as an original subscriber at age 10 I'm probably not in their desired demographics...
49
I think the philosophical root of what the author is complaining about is a common misinterpretation of "evolution" that has swept over American, if not Global, culture.
As Stephen J. Gould said, we commonly misinterpret Darwin's message. Evolution applies at the species level, so commonly require cooperation.
But commonly we believe we're all competing against one another to procreate and participate in evolution.
So women (and men) compete ferociously, and body image is a subset of all that.
Then there's LeMarckian evolutionary theory and epigenetics...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamarckism
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epigenetics
Bottom line is that we can't stop this train any more easily than we can stop the anthropocene's Climate Change. Human beings are tempted. Sometimes we win the battle, other times we give in to vanity, hedonism, and ego.
This is all a subset of much larger forces at play. Men and women make choices and act within that environment. Deal with it.
As Stephen J. Gould said, we commonly misinterpret Darwin's message. Evolution applies at the species level, so commonly require cooperation.
But commonly we believe we're all competing against one another to procreate and participate in evolution.
So women (and men) compete ferociously, and body image is a subset of all that.
Then there's LeMarckian evolutionary theory and epigenetics...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamarckism
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epigenetics
Bottom line is that we can't stop this train any more easily than we can stop the anthropocene's Climate Change. Human beings are tempted. Sometimes we win the battle, other times we give in to vanity, hedonism, and ego.
This is all a subset of much larger forces at play. Men and women make choices and act within that environment. Deal with it.
14
I spent years dieting and exercising to look good--or really to not look bad. I knew the calories (and probably still do) in thousands of foods. How I regret the time I spent on that and the boyfriends who cared about that. And how much more I had to give to the world. With unprecedented economic injustice, ecosystems collapsing, war breaking out everywhere, nations going under water, people starving in refugee camps, the keys to life, behavior, and disease being unlocked in the biological sciences . . . this is what we think women should spend their time worrying about? Talk about a poverty of ambition. No more. Won't even look at these demeaning magazines when I get my hair cut. If that's what a woman cares about, I try to tell her to stop wasting her time. If that's what a man cares about, he is a waste of my time. What a depressing way to distract women from achieving more in this world. Really wish I'd know this at 12.
264
I find it interesting that in this age of the "empowered woman", a picture of a beautiful woman can reduce a large segment of the empowered female population to a mass of self doubting 12 year olds.
You don't see this reaction in men every time Brad Pitt takes his shirt off, I wonder why?
You don't see this reaction in men every time Brad Pitt takes his shirt off, I wonder why?
76
This is not new. Almost every woman I have been with over the last 25 years has shaved it all or trimmed significantly. One girl who is Muslim said she was clean because she felt it was more sanitary.
But it is not only a female issue. Many men also shave or trim. But we only talk about women.
But it is not only a female issue. Many men also shave or trim. But we only talk about women.
25
Agree or disagree, this commentary will serve to increase the Sports Illustrated magazine sales. Too bad!
14
Once a Google search autocompleted with "How to Lose Upper Pubic Fat".
I guess that's a thing.
I guess that's a thing.
13
Why not legalize total nudity and marijuana? What would have happened if Davis and all of the other swim-suit models had appeared in the swim suts nature supplied to them? Evidently there is considerable variation across the population when it comes to what is under that swim suit. If that is the case, might it be that women and men would not fall into the trap of aspiring to an icon for their genitalia? You do not need a credit card to search Google Images for "Vulva" and learn that there is a great deal of variation here. Maybe letting the secret out would deflate the marketers bubble?
13
"Vaginal reconstruction" as an elective cosmetic surgery, done at the same places that do laser hair removal, presumably on a healthy young woman? How is that not against medical ethics? Does the doctor performing this procedure speak privately to the young woman to make sure she is not being abused or trafficked, for pornography or prostitution or both? Did anyone stop to wonder whether that's why the "older, well-groomed, hair-gelled guy" wanted to go back to the examination room with her?
128
"Girls’ and women’s lives matter." I have been waiting to hear those words... thank you!
54
With all the many ways we can spend our time, energy and money - expending it on altering that which nature has given us ('abnormal' or extreme situations aside), is among the saddest. There was a time when the female body was considered beautiful, this, without lifting, removing, shaving, enlarging... I think back to the hippy and feminist days with longing. I see my daughters struggling with measuring up to today's standards and I feel all the more sad. What's in front of my granddaughters, seems downright scary. BTW: I don't shave my legs, underarms or anything else! Though at 65 my body most definitely shows its age/wear, I feel a tremendous amount of joy in being an unaltered me!
59
And many of the women suck it up, and always will! I remember my elmentary school teacher back in Public School telling us in the 1960's, "Whatever they put on in Paris, the sheep back in the U.S.A. will be wearing it in the fall! Not that some of us men, can't do it, rugs and all! But don't think, we don't know the nails are fake, the hair is not that color, your legs aren't that long, and your tush, is not exactly like that! Just make sure you wash, use a deodorant, and mouthwash!!! And your world won't come to an end!!!!!
17
As a seven year old boy, my parents took me on a seaside vacation. We stayed at my grand parents home, about a mile or so from the sea. After a couple of days to get "acclimated", we got ready to set out to the beach. I was impatient and excided, I wanted to learn to swim. My mom put on a one piece bathing suit, which looked to me as a top blouse connected to Bermuda shorts, revealing nothing but her legs and a little skin below her neck. My grand Ma came out to see us off and on seeing my mom, she gasped " Sasha, are you going like this?" "People see. People talk. They may say, you're a street walker on vacation." I turned around and asked "Ma, what's street walker?" The year was 1959.
50
Ladyplace? An unfortunate term to use in an article which otherwise rightly points to yet another of the ridiculous burdens on American women. I wish the stupid euphemisms that infantilize women would go away, as much as I wish the hairless, curveless childlike models would stop being fetishized.
87
As the mother of a young daughter, I often explain why 'movie people' and 'magazine people' look so weird and unnatural. I almost wish there were a vaccine to protect my girl against the inevitable future desire to despise and mutilate her perfectly healthy body. I hope that developing her self-esteem and leading by example helps... Thanks for a great article Jennifer.
114
It never ceases to amaze me how men try desperately to control women's reproductive lives ( see organized religion, particularly the Catholic Church ) and women's bodies ( see movies, advertising, magazines, fashions ) while imposing no such parameters in their own behaviors and appearances. Both genders are trapped in this "auctioning" of women, but men have always had the upper hand.
28
Michelangelo's "David" was an imagined perfect male ... Are folks lamenting that work? Have men felt slighted because their own physiques failed to "match up"? The photography of Hannah Davis is an imagined perfect being.
Funny how men never whined about the ideal of "David". Why would anyone fret the ideal of "Hannah"?
My advice? Get over your narcissistic self flagellation and just live your life. You are who you are and anyone who would not accept that truth is not worth worrying about.
Funny how men never whined about the ideal of "David". Why would anyone fret the ideal of "Hannah"?
My advice? Get over your narcissistic self flagellation and just live your life. You are who you are and anyone who would not accept that truth is not worth worrying about.
20
I'm with the fictional first lady on the show Scandal: "It's 1979 down there, baby."
36
This is one of the best articles I have seen recently regarding our culture of hate against women's body parts. The only other excellent commentary was Sia's Chandalier Grammy performance which also blasted this current trend of looks and killer body (often literally) matter. Sadly nothing changes, and yes next year it will be something else that's unacceptable and needs to be eliminated from the woman's body.
Thank you for voicing a cry from the majority of real women. I for one am quite exhausted and tired of trying so hard just to be acceptable. It feels like the 60's and 70's were now the glory days for women. How sad.
Thank you for voicing a cry from the majority of real women. I for one am quite exhausted and tired of trying so hard just to be acceptable. It feels like the 60's and 70's were now the glory days for women. How sad.
27
If it didn't matter, this essay would be otiose--its point limited to a declaration of panty fashion ("boy shorts") and a call to possible gentleman callers to wonder if the line beneath the waistband is horizontal (Chaplinesque) or vertical (Stiletto)? The point (then) bellying the diatribe.
Instead it waxes on about the latest fad in femininity--as though such diatribes were not always otiose--the old guard protesting new trends in femininity/masculinity.
These are essentially gender art forms--aesthetic enhancements of sex appeal--based male/female--raw reproductive materials. The arts aim at "sex" as form of play (orgasmic play) vs a form of reproduction. Mother nature (that great madam) tricks adolescents (and Catholics) into the later by wanting the former.
All arts have cultural traditions but need novelty--otherwise even great virtuosity gets boring. Consummate gender artists keep their fans focused and entertained.
Notoriously many traditional aesthetic enhancements have been debilitating--especially for women--elongating necks, earlobes, lips, piercing, scarring, binding, tattooing, augmentation, sculpting--by surgery, diet, exercise--and so on. Depilation (by wax, razor, laser) seems minimal art in this context--pits and legs--now mons.
Low and behold--hidden beneath those beards was another adorable body part--coming in many shapes and sizes--no doubt more grist for more enhancement--by botox and knife.
Instead it waxes on about the latest fad in femininity--as though such diatribes were not always otiose--the old guard protesting new trends in femininity/masculinity.
These are essentially gender art forms--aesthetic enhancements of sex appeal--based male/female--raw reproductive materials. The arts aim at "sex" as form of play (orgasmic play) vs a form of reproduction. Mother nature (that great madam) tricks adolescents (and Catholics) into the later by wanting the former.
All arts have cultural traditions but need novelty--otherwise even great virtuosity gets boring. Consummate gender artists keep their fans focused and entertained.
Notoriously many traditional aesthetic enhancements have been debilitating--especially for women--elongating necks, earlobes, lips, piercing, scarring, binding, tattooing, augmentation, sculpting--by surgery, diet, exercise--and so on. Depilation (by wax, razor, laser) seems minimal art in this context--pits and legs--now mons.
Low and behold--hidden beneath those beards was another adorable body part--coming in many shapes and sizes--no doubt more grist for more enhancement--by botox and knife.
6
Nicely done, Jennifer! But who would really ever want to look like a three-year-old girl, sans the normal female padding down there, and what man would ever find that attractive?
29
Perverts.
58
Jennifer, I am your neighbor fun fact. Super enjoyed reading this op ed! I am studying health and we deal with a lot of negative outcomes due to the making a profit weight in driving todays behaviors and cultural norms/trends. Its great to see a refreshing acknowledgement of such ludicrous practices so many get persuaded to buy into! Write more op-eds!! <3
12
The latest body part for women to fix?
Sorry, not seeing that.
I’m as feminist as can be (and have been for decades), and completely relate to the very real pressure put on women, and often self-inflicted by women, to perfect their bodies, but this piece is missing something. And that is any evidence that women are, or will be, so concerned about what their “mons pubis” looks like that they will attempt to alter it.
The only reference to anything approaching this is the opening cryptic anecdote about the author encountering someone in a doctor’s office looking into “vaginal reconstruction”--whatever that is.
I completely support writing to educate the public about the real issues women have with their bodies. I do not support a writer viewing a magazine cover, and deciding that a “new issue” has been born, and then going ahead to make it one--without a shred of evidence that it is one!
Sorry, not seeing that.
I’m as feminist as can be (and have been for decades), and completely relate to the very real pressure put on women, and often self-inflicted by women, to perfect their bodies, but this piece is missing something. And that is any evidence that women are, or will be, so concerned about what their “mons pubis” looks like that they will attempt to alter it.
The only reference to anything approaching this is the opening cryptic anecdote about the author encountering someone in a doctor’s office looking into “vaginal reconstruction”--whatever that is.
I completely support writing to educate the public about the real issues women have with their bodies. I do not support a writer viewing a magazine cover, and deciding that a “new issue” has been born, and then going ahead to make it one--without a shred of evidence that it is one!
46
Long ago, I decided I was never going to look like Cindy Crawford - and that I was fine with that. As far as men goes, my attitude was and is "If you don't like the way I look, don't look at me. Your loss." My husband of 25 years agrees.
34
Coincidentally, I (a senior gal) was having a conversation with a 30sish man yesterday: he was talking about how difficult life is for men-- more difficult than for women (SAID HE). I was proposing that it's more generous to think about life as difficult for everyone-- but in different ways.
Reading this spot-on essay reminds me of television ads I've seen recently for hair-removal devices for women AND men. Women bear the worst of this burden but (omg, eeeeek!) the guys can sign up for it too.
Reading this spot-on essay reminds me of television ads I've seen recently for hair-removal devices for women AND men. Women bear the worst of this burden but (omg, eeeeek!) the guys can sign up for it too.
14
Jennifer Weiner - now that I know your name I'll continue to read your articles! You're funny, wise, and adorable. I loved reading your truths with a touch of traditional language. Ironic? Of course, but hearing about "gentleman caller" and "lady parts" reminds me that elegance and respect might survive my present culture (which is rather crass and self-centered).
23
Shaven or unshaven--lovely.
6
A few months ago my 19-year-old daughter and I were going through old photos, and there was one of me, pregnant with her brother, that her dad had taken while I dried off after a shower. I'm smiling, and my belly is 9-months big with my first child.
My daughter's first, and only, reaction, "Oh GOD, mom--you didn't shave down there? That's disgusting."
My daughter's first, and only, reaction, "Oh GOD, mom--you didn't shave down there? That's disgusting."
43
I prefer natural women. They have unique features and come in all shapes and sizes, which are how they are intended to be, how God made them. How we came to the point where society feels that they should fit into some mold and that some features are better than others is beyond me, it causes way too much insecurity, as if there isn't enough in our world already.
55
I spent years worrying how I looked in my bathing suit. Then someone said to me, 'Look at all those men with no inhibitions about their bellies sticking out over their bathing suits and we women don't think twice about them." I wore my bathing suit without inhibitions after I got a good look at those men. And when I look back my pictures in my twenties and thirties when I was so self conscious, I realize I looked pretty good. It's sad what we women did and do to ourselves and each other.
103
Agreed!! I'd give anything to look like that girl that hid behind her long hair and big shirts over her bathing suit. Darn she was cute. Too bad I couldn't see it then. Sigh...
17
Yeah, guess what, In college I weighed 110 lbs., 36-24-34, and still felt horrible about my body (my self). No matter what a woman looks like in America, she's screwed--psychologically. I wish I had that same bod today. What a difference three decades makes in one's perspective.
25
A couple years ago I was walking down the street in Seattle and saw a sign in a salon window advertising "vajazzling," defined by wikipedia as, "a form of genital decoration, formed by the application of crystal ornaments on the shaved pubic area of a woman."
One of my female friends wondered if decoration was really needed for men to be attracted to that particular part of a woman's body. All I could think of was the inevitable scratches.
I wonder if "scrotazzling" will ever catch on...
One of my female friends wondered if decoration was really needed for men to be attracted to that particular part of a woman's body. All I could think of was the inevitable scratches.
I wonder if "scrotazzling" will ever catch on...
129
Wish I could 'recommend' more than once!
15
I dont' think this is a new trend--to be without hair, its been around for years. Its really a personal preference for many women. Think of it this way-would you rather have a massage in a fur coat, or without the coat. There is a benefit to women, that you never hear articulated. What is more discerning about the SI swimsuit cover is how the model has more of a male body than female, without curves. A better choice for the cover would have been the average- sized woman they bill as a "plus size," gracing the interior pages.
8
I once read a comment somewhere by a woman who wrote that her boyfriend wanted her to get rid of all her hair "down there." She replied that just because he was losing his hair didn't mean she should lose hers. Then she happily broke up with him.
189
I would be suspicious of a man who wants a grown woman to look pre-pubescent.
57
If you think that being perfect to that extreme is necessary to attract the "right" man, you should consider what kind of man that really is. However, telling adolescent girls not to be attracted to men that will make lousy mates is a very old problem for parents.
52
Forty-five years ago I sat down in a consciousness raising group for women and felt I had come home. We talked about everything that had made us feel inadequate, shaky and less than - feeling less than in terms of physical attractiveness was near the top of the list. Forty-five years ago. I became a Feminist teacher, counselor and writer, taught one of the first Psychology of Women courses in America. For a while, it seemed that we were making progress - with our own awareness and with educating girls and young women about the shamefulness of being told what and who they should look like.
Forty-five years ago. And now? I teach writing in a local college and I see and hear the degree to which my young students are ruled about shame about their young bodies. Where have I, where have you, where have we all been while the gains my generation of Feminists made have been stolen from us? I hope some of you reply to this comment. If not now, then the next time you hear of a teen-ager hospitalized for anorexia.
Forty-five years ago. And now? I teach writing in a local college and I see and hear the degree to which my young students are ruled about shame about their young bodies. Where have I, where have you, where have we all been while the gains my generation of Feminists made have been stolen from us? I hope some of you reply to this comment. If not now, then the next time you hear of a teen-ager hospitalized for anorexia.
139
Mary, you are so right about our society's back peddling. As a former teen anorexic, the body shame and self hating does not go away so easily. At least you took the bull by the horns and met it head on in the classroom. I am positive you helped many girls and maybe they love themselves more now. Kudos to you!
11
I remember that time too and it seems like another era long ago. Young women today are more concerned with appearance than learning about their bodies. Consumerism overwhelms everything. And everything is sexualized. Total change in attitudes. Social media doesn't help either.
24
Mary, I think we thought the work was done, times had changed, etc. We didn't think society would go backwards again, but truthfully, we didn't carry the torch long enough.
It will take a MASSIVE movement among women saying NO. No more competion based on looks, thinness or sexuality.
The truth is, and should be self-evident, that just as not all trees are elms, not all people are gorgeous, but all have something to contribute to this world.
It will take a MASSIVE movement among women saying NO. No more competion based on looks, thinness or sexuality.
The truth is, and should be self-evident, that just as not all trees are elms, not all people are gorgeous, but all have something to contribute to this world.
24
Maybe people could pull back from the consumerism that drives them to the knee-jerk obsession to mimic everything they see at a grocery store checkout. Maybe that would actually be a better response to a periodical's selling point than striking up a war against physical fitness and the age-old male response to it. You're out of shape and ashamed? Exercise, eat grains and vegetables and put back the beer, wine; those cookies and ice cream.
9
Mike
Not all people are born with hour glass Sports Illustrated cover figures just as all men aren't born with six pack muscle bodies even if they avoid beer, wine, cookies and spend time at the gym. They too have a right to not be self conscious and judged by others.
Not all people are born with hour glass Sports Illustrated cover figures just as all men aren't born with six pack muscle bodies even if they avoid beer, wine, cookies and spend time at the gym. They too have a right to not be self conscious and judged by others.
25
Ashamed we're not on a magazine cover? We're supposed to be ashamed now?
14
If people want to look a certain way and you don't...great. That's your decision to make. Are there social pressures on women to look a certain way? Sure. There are social pressures on men to look a certain way, too. Shaved and toned vs. toned and in a fitted suit. It's probably a fad like many other personal styles have been over time, but it's in the cultural ether.
However, instead of complaining about the zeitgeist, is it so unreasonable to ask that people rediscover how not to care? There was a big to do about fifty years ago with regard to hair styles (indeed the whole question of whether or not to cut one's hair at all was prevalent) and yet the entire movement, if it can be said to have one unifying idea in common, was that people should just be who they were.
Stop letting society and vapid distractions like fashion magazines, idiot celebrities, or equally vapid social media hounds dictate your lives. Some things matter. Many do not. Part of being an adult in a liberalized western democratic society is sifting through the chaff to find the truly important stuff.
Family? Health? Friendship? A good steak sandwich? All things we should consider before having the first hair plucked in the name of conforming.
If, after all that thinking, it's still something you want to do that's grand. If not, fine too.
But don't pretend you're the victim of circumstances you can't control. Go along or develop enough of a spine and sense of self-worth to buck a trend or two.
However, instead of complaining about the zeitgeist, is it so unreasonable to ask that people rediscover how not to care? There was a big to do about fifty years ago with regard to hair styles (indeed the whole question of whether or not to cut one's hair at all was prevalent) and yet the entire movement, if it can be said to have one unifying idea in common, was that people should just be who they were.
Stop letting society and vapid distractions like fashion magazines, idiot celebrities, or equally vapid social media hounds dictate your lives. Some things matter. Many do not. Part of being an adult in a liberalized western democratic society is sifting through the chaff to find the truly important stuff.
Family? Health? Friendship? A good steak sandwich? All things we should consider before having the first hair plucked in the name of conforming.
If, after all that thinking, it's still something you want to do that's grand. If not, fine too.
But don't pretend you're the victim of circumstances you can't control. Go along or develop enough of a spine and sense of self-worth to buck a trend or two.
6
Who is all this remodeling for? I wonder what percentage of women actually go along with all this. Isn't it difficult enough to find the right partner; caring, smart healthy, loyal, humorous, employed etc. without looking for added surface vanity that can be undone by a few pasta dishes and a three day blackout, or someone's silly opinion? Rise above...
11
Who cares! It's silly; it's immature; it shows insecurity, and what not. To react you do Ms. Weiner, is what gives it significance.
I worry more that but for the teats (the only correct word- pronounced tit), the required sexual image is a not quite yet nubile girl. Now how strange is that for a national paradigm of sex(y)ness? What would R. von Krafft-Ebing have to say about that?
I don't know what the significance of this is: A nation of pedophiles? Weird.
So the puritanical reaction to showing part of a naked "Mont de Venus) is besides the point. Far more interesting would be to analyze the factors that got us from a normal woman-looking woman to.... I don't know what.
Furthermore, it is like abortion: if you don't like it , don't do it.
I worry more that but for the teats (the only correct word- pronounced tit), the required sexual image is a not quite yet nubile girl. Now how strange is that for a national paradigm of sex(y)ness? What would R. von Krafft-Ebing have to say about that?
I don't know what the significance of this is: A nation of pedophiles? Weird.
So the puritanical reaction to showing part of a naked "Mont de Venus) is besides the point. Far more interesting would be to analyze the factors that got us from a normal woman-looking woman to.... I don't know what.
Furthermore, it is like abortion: if you don't like it , don't do it.
5
Considering that Eleanor Roosevelt was a reputed lesbian, and very masculine, I doubt very much if she was concerned about the appearance of her lady parts. Unfortunately, doctors who perform these procedures are feeding women's insecurities about not only their labias but everything else. Keep in mind these are fee for service procedures, thus no wrangling with insurance companies is involved.
4
wait. what? A lesbian doesn't care about her self image, looks?
40
I love you, Jennifer Weiner. Thank you!
12
don't worry. all the things you mentioned are generally priced for the 1% who have the time, money and inclination to fix everything to suit themselves. most people really aren't involved.
6
'Lady parts'? This childish nonsense is part of the problem. They are genitals, the vulva, the !abia major and minor.
23
I am mostly concerned for the teenage girls out there who are still finding their identities and thinking they need to conform to these standards of appearance. As for the adults out there, take a cue from Socrates. Being alive is a great gift if you just choose to explore the mysteries of life instead of competing and comparing yourself to others. To put it in a religious sense, God does not care what you look like. Focus on what you do have, rather than do not, always remembering we only get one life, one body. Five minutes of breath is better than none at all.
31
Bravo, Jennifer -- or should I say Brava? The real shame is that this ridiculous shaming is going on.
19
amen
9
Thanks for saying this out loud! I'm an old woman, so no longer in the dating game - but I heave a huge sigh of relief that I never had to shave "down there"! I think it's uglier to shave than not to shave, but I was brought up in a different popular culture apparently. The next step will be for penis size and shape to be openly and constantly discussed and I don't even want to think about the insecurities that will cause.
57
Difficult to take seriously the comments of a woman who believes you need a credit card to watch Internet porn and calls her lover 'my gentleman caller'.
She needn't worry. Once a woman gets to be over 40, men with an IQ above room temperature who are interested are looking for things other than a flat, hairless 'on-ramp'. Although if you've got the Amazon jungle down there, perhaps a little thinning of the undergrowth is in order.
She needn't worry. Once a woman gets to be over 40, men with an IQ above room temperature who are interested are looking for things other than a flat, hairless 'on-ramp'. Although if you've got the Amazon jungle down there, perhaps a little thinning of the undergrowth is in order.
12
Yeezus, why so cruel?
36
What happens to the woman under 40? Will her positive body image wait that long? And what are we teaching young boys? We women have always had to struggle with the body image the media thrusts on us, from Twiggy to Ms. Davis. I am a woman over 40 and the men haven't changed and neither has the man driven media. I have met European men who think we are unnatural for shaving our pits and legs.I don't know, do men thin their undergrowth? Hair is natural, what you choose to do with it is your business. Shouldn't be dictated by someone else.
19
I think you miss the point - use of those 'quaintisms' injects the dry humor that makes the author's article compelling to read, easy to remember, and gets across it's message without coming off as pompous finger-wagging. I love the author's style!
18
My head was nodding up and down in agreement throughout your entire article, I felt like those figurines you put on the dashboard of your car, the kind that keep nodding their heads away. What a great read! Jennifer, I k ow exactly what you mean when you say you are frustrated with the Conscience obsessiveness those in the media and fashion world have thrust upon us mere mortals. When are women around the world, or even in the United States going to laugh at the absurdity of what is required of them, nonsensical requirements that never seem to end. You hit upon the affects such pics have on our girls, but what are we teaching our boys? what values are we instilling about our girls? It seems as if my beautiful country wants and is eager to welcome BACK the age where a woman is no more valuable than her genitalia.
27
I'm appalled at how many commenters think the area under discussion is "public", when what should be a private area is "pubic".
On another note, now 83-year-old models are appearing on the covers of magazines, smooth-skinned, no jiggly bits evident. I guarantee I will not look like that if I make it to 83. I'm proud to sprout, wrinkle and sag as nature intends!
On another note, now 83-year-old models are appearing on the covers of magazines, smooth-skinned, no jiggly bits evident. I guarantee I will not look like that if I make it to 83. I'm proud to sprout, wrinkle and sag as nature intends!
5
Jennifer writes: "With hard-core pornography available to anyone with a laptop and a credit card..."
In fact, for most pornography, no credit card is necessary. Like so much else, it's free as long as you accept a little advertising.
In fact, for most pornography, no credit card is necessary. Like so much else, it's free as long as you accept a little advertising.
2
Best Use of a Euphemism in the Morning Paper: Ladyplace. On-ramp. Despite your best intentions, you're not helping the cause here. Can we use grown-up language to speak about our bodies, please?
16
The murals on the walls in Pompeii show women with carefully shaped pubic hair. The pubic hair fashion in Pompeii apparently demanded a perfect arc. Fashion is an inevitable aspect of urban life, I think, and as one reader here pointed out just because every photo shows an absence of pubic hair doesn't mean that every woman is having a Brazilian.
3
Ladies and gentlemen of the 1970s - please understand that things have changed since "you were kids". I would argue that hair removal is not as terribly psychologically tormenting for these women as you may think, and it's simply a trend (for the better) among younger people that people freely participate in. Landscaping is an expectation for BOTH men and women under 30 years old, and bush is mocked in men's locker rooms as well as women's. It's not because men and women are looking for prepubescent partners either, but thanks for the suggestion of pedophilia. It's practical for oral sex (both men and women). It makes it easier to see and appreciate more of the body (both men and women). Feels better to the touch(both men and women). And it's part of a general march against body hair for both genders that's been going on for some time (Magic Mike did not look like Burt Reynolds).
And sure, the models represent unrealistic ideals of beauty. But open any issue SI and you'll be exposed to unrealistic ideals of what a man should be on every page of all 52 issues per year. I'll never be as skilled/tall/wealthy/strong as Lebron. That's a bummer. But that doesn't mean Lebron needs to be kept out of a magazine. That's why SI is interesting - no one wants to see an average woman on the cover any more than they want to read about a recreational league softball game. That's why you'll never see either in the magazine.
And sure, the models represent unrealistic ideals of beauty. But open any issue SI and you'll be exposed to unrealistic ideals of what a man should be on every page of all 52 issues per year. I'll never be as skilled/tall/wealthy/strong as Lebron. That's a bummer. But that doesn't mean Lebron needs to be kept out of a magazine. That's why SI is interesting - no one wants to see an average woman on the cover any more than they want to read about a recreational league softball game. That's why you'll never see either in the magazine.
26
Well, this is not news where I live. In fact, "Brazilians" are a common thing for girls since age 14 - as it was my case.
Of course, I preach (and believe!) that it's not necessary and not a female obligation to show off hairless bodies. But secretly, that's exactly what everybody else does.
Of course, I preach (and believe!) that it's not necessary and not a female obligation to show off hairless bodies. But secretly, that's exactly what everybody else does.
6
Great piece, but for those who claim skinny is the only acceptable version of a sexy femaile please see Beyonce, J-Lo and of course, Kim Kardashian.
2
Isn't it interesting that these hot women are all women of color? White women are not yet allowed to have a booty.
16
Iggy Azalea?
All this column really amounts to -- other than a cheap yuk or two -- is a stealth promotion of the author's boyfriend's book. Any woman who gets sucked in by these purported body fashion conspiracies has only herself to blame. Be content with who you are. If that doesn't suit others, then it's their problem, not yours.
10
"Show me a body part, I’ll show you someone who’s making money by telling women that theirs looks wrong and they need to fix it." Amen, Ms. Weiner. The true story behind this story.
37
Idealization of the human form – male and female – is as old as art. The fashion of human form changes, but public display of the ideal persists, via media or marble sculpture. Why not enjoy it, without comparing yourself to the ideal? "Comparison is the root of unhappiness" – another ancient tidbit of wisdom.
5
Don't know if this will make the cut, but no one's mentioned these factors, so I think I should.
As one who once suffered for some weeks through having a hairless 'nothing' (Shakespeare) purely by accident - spilled a bottle of Nair - I can testify that at least in my experience: the missionary position is painful. There is a reason, from the point of view of the woman, that nature gave you a cushion there. Clenched fist, indeed - it really is like getting punched. (Your mileage may vary; I can testify only to my subjective experience.)
Also surprised no one mentions the paedophilic charm of a woman without hair down there. Tom Wolfe, in one of his satires, wrote of the modern ideal of female beauty as 'boys with breasts.' (Those artificial breasts, BTW, may also be desensitized; like wax fruit, they're for appearance.)
We should question a sexual aesthetics in which the male ideal of a woman is a twelve-year-old eunuch with gynecomastia, for whom sex may well be something to endure rather than enjoy.
As one who once suffered for some weeks through having a hairless 'nothing' (Shakespeare) purely by accident - spilled a bottle of Nair - I can testify that at least in my experience: the missionary position is painful. There is a reason, from the point of view of the woman, that nature gave you a cushion there. Clenched fist, indeed - it really is like getting punched. (Your mileage may vary; I can testify only to my subjective experience.)
Also surprised no one mentions the paedophilic charm of a woman without hair down there. Tom Wolfe, in one of his satires, wrote of the modern ideal of female beauty as 'boys with breasts.' (Those artificial breasts, BTW, may also be desensitized; like wax fruit, they're for appearance.)
We should question a sexual aesthetics in which the male ideal of a woman is a twelve-year-old eunuch with gynecomastia, for whom sex may well be something to endure rather than enjoy.
67
and guess who owns and/or edits/publishes the women mags with front covers that are designed to make "normal" look gross?? really, women do this to themselves???
10
It's time for every mom with a teenage son to tell him that hairlessness is NOT natural for a woman and can cause her discomfort and infection not to mention inordinate amounts of time and money to maintain. Until quite recently, men enjoyed being with women with pubic hair, and in our culture the thought of a hairless grown woman would have been considered a perversion. Pressures from imported trends (the thong bikini, the Brazilian bikini wax - originated in Brazil to accommodate the thong bikini, and access to porn on the internet where women have been shaving approximately since the thong bikini came along ) have created an absurd pressure for women, especially young women but not exclusively, to keep themselves "neat and clean" down there.
This is a sad reversal in the feminist effort to have men look at women beyond their sexual potential. Ironically, as women have become more powerful in society, as more of them are graduating from college than their male counterparts, as more hold positions of power in both government and industry, they've succumbed to pressures to look like children in the bedroom. This feels like a backlash against women's progress and my hope is that it will soon be seen as such and discarded along with the notion that women's place is in the home, not the boardroom.
This is a sad reversal in the feminist effort to have men look at women beyond their sexual potential. Ironically, as women have become more powerful in society, as more of them are graduating from college than their male counterparts, as more hold positions of power in both government and industry, they've succumbed to pressures to look like children in the bedroom. This feels like a backlash against women's progress and my hope is that it will soon be seen as such and discarded along with the notion that women's place is in the home, not the boardroom.
54
Biologists believe that the reason humans still have hair "down there," when the rest has mostly fallen away through evolution, is that the hair holds and diffuses scent to attract a mate. Of course, women have been told for years that they need to annihilate their own personal scent with douches and perfume, but the reality is that a woman's natural scent and pheremones remain a powerful sexual attractant despite commercial efforts to make us think otherwise.
31
Didn't Napolean sp? when coming home from one of his battles write, "Don't wash Josephine, I'll be home in 3 weeks?"
Three weeks is way too long, but how many American men have never smelled genuine female lust? Sad.
Three weeks is way too long, but how many American men have never smelled genuine female lust? Sad.
6
Recently, I went on a first date with a man (age 48) from Match.com. A half-hour into the date, he said that he likes women who are "hygienic." I knew that he meant "shaves her pubic hair," but I played dumb and asked, "What do you mean?" He started laughing and said that he couldn't give me more details right now.
Last year I was on a third date with a man (again, in his late 40s). We were talking about our last major relationship. I asked him why his ended, and he said, "She wouldn't shave her pubic hair."
My last two boyfriends also complained that I don't shave my pubic hair.
I'm reached the point where I've decided that I am much happier being single than dating these self-absorbed, entitled adult children.
Last year I was on a third date with a man (again, in his late 40s). We were talking about our last major relationship. I asked him why his ended, and he said, "She wouldn't shave her pubic hair."
My last two boyfriends also complained that I don't shave my pubic hair.
I'm reached the point where I've decided that I am much happier being single than dating these self-absorbed, entitled adult children.
247
I bet they don't shave theirs!
18
Maybe, just maybe, is it possible that the problem here is not with the model, the stylist, the magazine, or the depilationist? Rather, maybe, with anyone who takes this seriously?
10
Yet another instance of porn creeping into real life. It would be laughable except that girls and young women do feel pressure (often from immature boys and young men, and each other) to conform to porn standards and behavior, none of which have anything to do with healthy relationships, bodies or lives.
43
One man's porn is another man's Sports Illustrated.......
1
It's like lingerie: it's not the lingerie that is attractive to men, it's what the woman is telling him by wearing it.
5
You wish............I've been married over 60 years - flannel works as well as silk.....it is not the package, it is what is in it......
3
A vagina would be on the cover if it sold magazines. The price we pay for living in a capitalist driven money hungry male oriented society.
22
C'mon! I am very old, and surely you are not telling me that anybody cares about any opinion voiced in Sports Illustrated. It is a MAGAZINE, for Pete's sake, not a blueprint!
6
When people are attracted to others without pubic hair, society seeks to arrest them, jail them for a while, and then add their names to a registry so neighbors know where they live. Am I on the wrong track with this post?
21
This article should top the list for a Positve Body Image and Self Esteem Building Exercise; awesome focus and well crafted lense.
4
Never forget the mantra - sex sells.
1
"Disclosure: my gentleman caller edits books for Sports Illustrated and is the author of the oral history of the swimsuit issue that appears in “50 Years of Beautiful,” a coffee-table book of swimsuit shots. #Awkward.)"
Oral history? I stopped reading at this point....I'm not getting ANY of these euphemisms in this column. I do know that I stopped taking SI when I reached adulthood and couldn't square how these nude issues--hardly a "swimsuit" issue--were part of the sports world. Trophies for our best male athletes?
Oral history? I stopped reading at this point....I'm not getting ANY of these euphemisms in this column. I do know that I stopped taking SI when I reached adulthood and couldn't square how these nude issues--hardly a "swimsuit" issue--were part of the sports world. Trophies for our best male athletes?
4
If some guy is content wrapping his arms around a sack of coat hangers with giant breasts attached he can go for it. The cloth monkey won out over the wire monkey in those long ago experiments...This too may fade. Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell and Sophia Loren have been icons of sensuality In the dark, in the sheets, many men prefer a woman built for comfort, not speed. for over half a century; Twiggy? Not so much....In the dark, in the sheets, many men prefer a woman built for comfort, not speed. Snuggle on up, Menfolks...boys need not apply.
8
Article after article , in magazines and on-line blogs inform women of all their imperfections and "need-to-reconstruct" areas. It is impossible for young girls today to love their bodies, hence, themselves. I am very aware this trend is now focusing on young boys developing into young men as well. However, the balance is way off scale. I miss the days of Lucy and Ricky ( showing my age here) and the romantic movies that allowed us to find pleasure, love and desire in our own imaginations. Today, it all seems perverted and obsene..I am thankful I am from another generation and these concerns do not affect my self esteem. Young girls and boys are facing an army of insults and attacks on their bodies and minds. In the end, it will damage their self worth for a lifetime....when they reach my age,(undisclosed, but not hard to imagine) young minds and later as they age, will never accept their bodies to be beautiful and most importantly, healthy. The words, " beauty comes from within" will no longer be uttered or have meaning. Very sad.
21
A few years ago I made a documentary, "Petals: Journey into Self Discovery" , a frank celebration of the diversity of female genitalia. Women in it related stories of their life-long emotional issues in accepting t and loving their most secret part of their body. Although the film was shown at festivals around the world it was shunned and buried by U.S. distributors. It didn't fit into any category -- not software, not hardcore, not peek-a-boo cute or sophomoric -- simply accepting the physical reality of who we are. Too shocking for most people.
10
My takeaway from this missive, sex sells. Period.
2
"What upsets me" to quote an oft used phrase in the comments is that the Times has "coverage" of this issue at all. The author admits in the last sentence of the piece that this latest fad is of no moment to her. Why then write about it at all?
What's next from the Times. Coverage of the daily goings on of the Kardashians?
What's next from the Times. Coverage of the daily goings on of the Kardashians?
5
In a word: pathetic. But then the gullible will always be with us, as will shyster doctors.
2
Congratulations, you may even start a natural is the most beautiful fashion trend with our youth thus ending decades of more and more pasting, coloring, tatooing, piercing, carving, injecting, sculpting, pulling, poking and prodding bits of our God given flesh that someone (who is not God) has told us subjectively is ugly, and we're all too lemming-like to tell that someone to bugger off. A fashion trend like that would not only expand our views on what is beautiful it would be one of the most healthy movements in our so called uber-health conscious society. Just don't tell the plastic surgeon, esthetician and tatoo parlor industry about it ... hey it might even save the average American family more money than the drop in gas prices! A win - win -win!
3
My circle of besties--for thirty-odd years now--knew and know the difference between models and fashionistas and celebrities, and "us." We weren't (and aren't, thank you) a bad-looking bunch, and we never bemoaned the fact that we weren't Christie Brinkley, or Kate Moss, or Cindy Crawford. If you're obsessed with, or significantly influenced by, those types, you need to get over it; reality can be rather pleasant. Likewise, if it causes you to get all up in arms ("Won't someone think of the children?!?"), I say much ado...
My daughter and her posse see all the same images as the rest--they don't aspire to be on the cover of SI; they want to be Katniss, with her bow and arrows. The kids are alright.
My daughter and her posse see all the same images as the rest--they don't aspire to be on the cover of SI; they want to be Katniss, with her bow and arrows. The kids are alright.
12
"Show me a body part, I’ll show you someone who’s making money by telling women that theirs looks wrong and they need to fix it." YES!
but then you say things such as
"Women have always had plenty to worry about: stretch marks... "
YOU NEED TO REJECT the patriarchal, money-making machine that tells women there is something wrong with them. YOU CANNOT COMPLAIN ABOUT IT AND THEN TURN AROUND AND ADMIT THAT, OH WE DO HAVE SOMETHING TO FEEL BAD ABOUT.
but then you say things such as
"Women have always had plenty to worry about: stretch marks... "
YOU NEED TO REJECT the patriarchal, money-making machine that tells women there is something wrong with them. YOU CANNOT COMPLAIN ABOUT IT AND THEN TURN AROUND AND ADMIT THAT, OH WE DO HAVE SOMETHING TO FEEL BAD ABOUT.
14
But the whole subtext is that she, too, is selling women's insecurities back to them in a mainstream media outlet. So of course the article is shot through with this contradiction.
7
Like another commenter I wasn't even clear on what we're talking about -- some sort of specialized lower pelvic liposuction? Labiaplasty? Brazilian waxes? It would be nice if we could come out and say it -- whatever it is. Also, please Ms Weiner, don't assume that every woman has the same type or level of body image anxiety as every other woman. We all have some, and it's no fun, but is it actually productive to wallow endlessly in how badly the media "makes" us feel about our or thigh gaps or our labia minora? This whole idea that we as women should be "bonding" over our shared insecurities keeps us mired in adolescent self-doubt all our lives, is more than a little self-absorbed, and is also completely freaking boring.
14
An excellent op. I do not know the ladies work, but comedy writing is in her future. Can't you just see Saturday Night LIve doing a skit on this ?
Kept me laughing all the way through.
Kept me laughing all the way through.
7
Check out her fiction. She's great.
5
I agree with the general opinion that there is an obsession with the female appearance and in the media it is driven by commercialism, but there is also (like most things) an underlining biological cause. There is competition going on here and I think we need to cut us all (women and men) some slack. Women are wired to compete visually with other women for men. It is our nature. Yes we are completely out of control with it, but once you see it for what it actually is it begins to lose its grip on you.
1
We've certainly entered a new age in general - one where smut and twerking and women grinding is everywhere. Pole dancing is apparently a main stream form of exercise. Young girls are being socialized WAY too early for behaviors I remember being associated only with strippers. Where to start? Dance classes for young girls now teach them to be hip hop sexy movers and shakers. TV shows on Disney are all about becoming famous and having perfectly coiffed hair - and being Pretty Little Liars. Lovely message. My niece started taking dance lessons at 10 and joined her middle school cheering squad at 12. At 13, I noticed her dance moves now consisted of "twerking" (butt out, arms folded at chest height and moving inward and outward fast) as well as some grinding motions. How did she learn this? What happened? Kids that age now shop at Victoria's Secret. Sad. We're being bombarded with images of perfection - and living in a world where sexiness is the gold standard of measure for everything. Clothes, hair, cars - cripes even medical database software has been described as being sexy.
Those of us who still identify as being a feminist can't lose sight of what feminism has meant to the millions of women who came before us, and for what lies ahead for our daughters. There's way too much at stake to fear being labeled a feminist, to fear pushing back and saying I won't just conform.
Those of us who still identify as being a feminist can't lose sight of what feminism has meant to the millions of women who came before us, and for what lies ahead for our daughters. There's way too much at stake to fear being labeled a feminist, to fear pushing back and saying I won't just conform.
34
Did you look through the pages of T Magazine that the New York Times sent with this week's Sunday edition? The New York Times is the worst offender when it comes to sending a double message: if it sells, we believe in it.
4
Maybe it's because yesterday was Valentine's Day, and maybe it's because I'm lucky to feel loved despite my chronically imperfect body, but whatever the reason, Chet Baker's sweet, sweet vocal of "My Funny Valentine" is floating through my head right now, especially the words, "But don't change a hair for me, not if you care for me, stay little Valentine, stay...Each day is Valentine's Day..."
12
How about - forget your self and Love life - love being healthy and alive - able to work - real beauty is a gift - you cant buy it and you cant fake it !
4
Lots of commenters seem to think that the pressure for women to change themselves is no big deal. Many state that if women want to change themselves, it's only their business and no one else's. Fair enough.
But, I think there's a more important point to be made, and I do think it's a big deal. Girls as young as 7 already start to be anxious about how they look. They start to diet, they want to pluck eyebrows, they want to shave, they want to look like Beyoncé. Some high school girls, only 15 or 16, are already getting cosmetic surgery (with their parent's permission!).
We need to remember that it's not just adult women who feel the pressure to measure up to some impossible standard. When young girls, who should be starting to realize their intellectual potential and start dreaming of lives as fully-realized women of the future, instead begin to hate their bodies and themselves, and to think that their only potential is to attract men, then we do have a problem.
But, I think there's a more important point to be made, and I do think it's a big deal. Girls as young as 7 already start to be anxious about how they look. They start to diet, they want to pluck eyebrows, they want to shave, they want to look like Beyoncé. Some high school girls, only 15 or 16, are already getting cosmetic surgery (with their parent's permission!).
We need to remember that it's not just adult women who feel the pressure to measure up to some impossible standard. When young girls, who should be starting to realize their intellectual potential and start dreaming of lives as fully-realized women of the future, instead begin to hate their bodies and themselves, and to think that their only potential is to attract men, then we do have a problem.
48
I caught a segment on one of those entertainment shows when Hannah Davis phone her mother to tell her she "got the cover." Mom's response "I just peed my pants."
I feel sorry for this girl. This will be the highlight of her life.
I feel sorry for this girl. This will be the highlight of her life.
6
She also said: "It’s a girl in a bikini, and I think it’s empowering; I’ve been hearing it’s degrading. I think the people who are saying that aren’t feminists, because I think when you’re a woman and you look at that picture and if you overanalyze it as anything more than just a full picture, it’s just silly to me.”
Clearly, coherent thought processes are not her forte.
Clearly, coherent thought processes are not her forte.
6
Having read and skimmed many of your comments here I feel it's only right to reassure most of you that while hair removal and reconstruction and other such altering of "ladybusinesses" is a current trend, it is by no means the standard. Take it from me, an actual young person (in my mid 20s), that for every young couple excited for reconstruction there is another who would never ever mess with what mother nature blessed them with. The majority of women I have known in that way prefer not to wax/laser/shave their pubic hair, from my first girlfriend in high school to my current girlfriend. There is also a huge natural movement of girls and women that don't alter themselves in that way. In fact it's how the majority of women in the world are, and they don't see it as something to remove or alter. In many other cultures it's seen as a "white" or "western" thing to be concerned with. Go to any art school, liberal arts university, music school, (or other place that encourages young people to think for themselves) and you will find some that remove it, but the vast majority does not and is happiest that way.
40
Whether it is women or men that 'create' the images of these young women as the subject of photo shoots (and not the bathing suits)what S.I. has done is appalling. In order to sell magazines and sell advertising they have resorted to landing to the lowest common denominator more obviously than before. Sex and exploitation. The attempt to make money with this photo is offensive to me as a father of an 18 year on daughter, as well as two sons. Is that what my daughter has to look like to be accepted? Is that what my boys are going to demand now that is S.I. wants all to think it is main stream and not in the realm of Porn? The other comments ask what % of women do this. Now it does not matter because they now they will either have to or be pressured by the man driven sexually exploitive world S.I. has decided to perpetuate on the most vulnerable 12-24 year old youth population!
23
Very good points. We need more mature women and men speaking out because the younger ones are too caught up in it to have perspective. Where are all the over 40 women who can weigh in on these issues with some valuable perspective? Those in their 60s and 70s? Have their voices been silenced? Or don't they care enough to be outraged?
10
Sad news is a woman who hasn't learnt to accept her body by her 20s are unlikely to be any wiser in 40s or 60s or 70s. Who do you think are producing insecure little girls?
5
Ordinarily, I wouldn't concern myself with this, but is this what we want our adolescent girls to emulate?
18
My son told me some 5th graders at his school got in trouble for sexting. I am starting to feel like a crotchety old lady in a Booth cartoon saying in my day people didn't send pictures of their genitals to each other. Along those lines, in my day women had public hair and the beauty standard for the vagina wasn't to emulate a hairless prepubescent. Actually, we did not have a beauty standard for our vaginas because they weren't on public display.
56
Sorry Aubrey- not cleaner. As a nurse practioner, I see a lot of chafed, sore and hair follicle -infected young people of both sexes. The hair is there for a reason. And self hatred? Plenty of that too.
92
Ah....yet another reason to quit dating. Too much trouble...it's hard enough keeping my legs shaved...
32
Shame on Sports Illustrated for caving into the porn culture. But it's more than just caving in, it's promoting and for that we should send our condemnations. If they can't sell magazines about sports without turning then into Playboy centerfolds then they need to get into a new business.
But I imagine that this really isn't a business driven decision. They could easily decide that swimsuit models are, well swimsuit models, not athletes and modeling has nothing to do with sports achievement. But porn culture has reached so deeply into mainstream media that these choices become almost automatic without much thought at all about what message they are sending to young men and boys, and certainly no concern for young women and girls.
But I imagine that this really isn't a business driven decision. They could easily decide that swimsuit models are, well swimsuit models, not athletes and modeling has nothing to do with sports achievement. But porn culture has reached so deeply into mainstream media that these choices become almost automatic without much thought at all about what message they are sending to young men and boys, and certainly no concern for young women and girls.
26
The more things change the more they remain the same, of course.
Fairly easy solution to this nonsense: accept or reject the idea and move on. Certainly people are physically attracted to others with or without these so-called enhancements. These fashion notions do not much impact the mating dance. lol
Fairly easy solution to this nonsense: accept or reject the idea and move on. Certainly people are physically attracted to others with or without these so-called enhancements. These fashion notions do not much impact the mating dance. lol
As a man I should be silent but the reality is that my life is surrounded by women some of whom have been dear friends for decades and with whom I have never ever discussed any of these issues. There is so much else to address and explore. Most appreciated as best I can tell is that I experience each of them seriously and respectfully as a friend or colleague with an occasional moment of mutual affection.
The point the author makes but does not name is that we live in an age of acutely cynical narcissism and mutual exploitation. Although she does not name it, she describes the bizarre manifestations of what those in my profession would call 'part object' relationships, the focus on a feature/attribute rather than a person in a mutually engaged relationship.
We are a culture of 'users'. We treat each other as the drug du jour. It is a cynical, empty and lonely way to live. In fact, the author may know this reality rather well and at many levels.
There is a new movie NIGHTCRAWLER that captures our culture of narcissism in a pervasively cynical, brutal and absolutely exploitive fashion. The medium IS the message as it is here.
The point the author makes but does not name is that we live in an age of acutely cynical narcissism and mutual exploitation. Although she does not name it, she describes the bizarre manifestations of what those in my profession would call 'part object' relationships, the focus on a feature/attribute rather than a person in a mutually engaged relationship.
We are a culture of 'users'. We treat each other as the drug du jour. It is a cynical, empty and lonely way to live. In fact, the author may know this reality rather well and at many levels.
There is a new movie NIGHTCRAWLER that captures our culture of narcissism in a pervasively cynical, brutal and absolutely exploitive fashion. The medium IS the message as it is here.
9
These kinds of things aren't specific to women.
Has anyone here ever seen the cover of a men's fitness or sports magazine? Expectations of masculinity placed upon men are just as abundant as expectations of beauty are for women. Get over it. Ignore it if it bothers you...
And grooming your nether-region is unnatural and insulting, but shaving your underarms, plucking your eyebrows (the author was visiting a laser hair removal clinic when she learned of the oh-so-upsetting pracitce of public grooming), spending time and money getting your hair just right, curling your eyelashes, applying makeup, wearing expensive designer clothing, etc, is a-okay?
And now we're reverse-shaming people who like to groom downstairs because of their personal preference? How ironic. I aslo resent the sexist implication in articles like these that women are bending to the will of men, and that women who go along with it are "Uncle Tom's" for not wanting to walk around barefooted wearing burlap sacks as if most nail and hair salons and the like aren't by women, for women.
Has anyone here ever seen the cover of a men's fitness or sports magazine? Expectations of masculinity placed upon men are just as abundant as expectations of beauty are for women. Get over it. Ignore it if it bothers you...
And grooming your nether-region is unnatural and insulting, but shaving your underarms, plucking your eyebrows (the author was visiting a laser hair removal clinic when she learned of the oh-so-upsetting pracitce of public grooming), spending time and money getting your hair just right, curling your eyelashes, applying makeup, wearing expensive designer clothing, etc, is a-okay?
And now we're reverse-shaming people who like to groom downstairs because of their personal preference? How ironic. I aslo resent the sexist implication in articles like these that women are bending to the will of men, and that women who go along with it are "Uncle Tom's" for not wanting to walk around barefooted wearing burlap sacks as if most nail and hair salons and the like aren't by women, for women.
11
For whatever reason, folks today are not comfortable in their own skin. The hairless style idiom is in the minds eye ... could this hairless child be the fantasy nubile sex object? Are adults masquerading and cavorting as highly sexualized children? This is about fantasy sexual theater. What used to be an occasional foray into exotic erotic kink has now become mainstream. It's not special any more. Au natural will likely become the next exotic idiom.
6
Interesting.
This article has 138 comments as I type. The article on vitamins had ZERO.
I am astonished. Not. Sigh. I must admit this one is more interesting to read.
This article has 138 comments as I type. The article on vitamins had ZERO.
I am astonished. Not. Sigh. I must admit this one is more interesting to read.
6
Ms. Weiner is likely cognizant that in the eintire history of European art from the Greeks down to the 20th century almost all naked women (and goddesses and nymphs) were hairless below. I doubt that most women were (though farhter east it was and is as standard as men's shaven faces are in the west.) When photography began to draw reality and fantasy closer together many nudes were either retouched or the women depilated, maybe to fit in with the classic look. It was in Playboy and Penthouse in the 70s and 80s, and in the corresponding porn films, that we all could see lots of pubic hair. Then the fashion changed, and high-end soft and even low-end porn began to adopt ht ehairless look, and body parts then needed to be as sleek and groomed as faces -- male and female -- have always been.
2
Congrats to Jennifer for taking this on.! Like many women, I spend far too much energy, time and money pursuing beauty. However, I draw the line at the bikini line!!! Being neat and trimming and a little waxing is fine BUT to me, Brazilians and lasers are akin to the Chinese binding women's feet. It's torture and unnatural Why do we want to look like 8-eyar old girls and who would want to be with a man who finds this sexy??????
49
I see this problem made worse by women. Each sex has an idea (fantasy?) of what constitutes "perfection" in a mate, including both physical and non physical attributes (wealth, etc). When my guy friends and I were single though, we easily regonized the difference between fantasy and reality, and we did not hold outselves, or our dates, to such impossible standards. Women don't seem to even hold men to their fantasy standards, but instead are literally killing themselves to achieve near perfection in their own appearance. Why do women have such a difficult time accepting their own imperfections? Contrary to popular opinion, I don't think this self shaming of body parts is driven by men.
13
And on the other side, I see more of us guys shaving everything. After a swim at the club, the shower room is filled with young guys - not only shaving their heads for the Bald Look - but shaving everything else. Not since William Holden became the first actor to receive one million dollars to shave his chest and act in, Bridge on the River Kwai, has male shaving progressed to what it is now. I'm not as editorially proficient as this author at expressing it, but it's getting a little creepy in the men's shower room, men are shaving everything, everywhere. Perhaps it's a part of the evolution pointed out by zoologists, Desmond Morris, in The Naked Ape.
24
Gee it is a choice one that should be made by everyone to not pay any attention to these sorts of things.
It amazes me that conscientious, intelligent women who are supposed to be icons and role models for all females can work against genital mutilation and yet be coerced into voluntary mutilation by society's ever fluid perspectives on physical beauty. And while the male vanity business has grown, there is still a distinct bias against women's natural beauty. By the way, the hair that grows there is there for a reason -- a health one. I am surprised that one commenter here defended waxing by claiming a smooth pubis was a cleaner one. If you have a fetish and that pleases your partner AND you, then whatever. But it is a shame that women are still so driven to alter themselves to garner approval from the opposite sex.
As an aside, I saw an interesting and subtle statement by a women recently on TV....she had the tattoo of a camel on her big toe. Go girl!
As an aside, I saw an interesting and subtle statement by a women recently on TV....she had the tattoo of a camel on her big toe. Go girl!
17
Amen to this article. Amen!
12
The author started the article by mentioning she was about to get her hair permanently removed using lasers. Lasers! Is sculpting one's labia that far off? Both are completely ridiculous, self-harming reactions to impossible beauty standards.
Let's all say no to both procedures, shall we?
Let's all say no to both procedures, shall we?
20
Oh , and I really believed in 1972, as a fifteen year old, that soon women would no longer be objectified...
28
What's the difference between a "disclosure" and an "advertisement for a book"?
11
I agree with you, Jennifer Weiner and I also Anne-Marie Hislop. But I have either gone a bit farther in my thinking than either of you or will say it publicly for anyone to hear. When a person is born without any surgical needs we would consider it an abuse to insist that the neonate have a tonsillectomy or myringotomy for tympanostomy tube placements. We would consider that child abuse and rightly so. Most of the world considers female genital cutting a gross mutilation and abuse, and again rightly so. We think that self-mutilation is a form of mental abbriation and misdirected frustrated anger that can be treated and perhaps changed with enough understanding and psychological help. When a child is born with a deformaty which will make it difficult to assemilate with their social peers, we think the parents are brave to allow the multiple surgeries required to give them a more near average appearance for social acceptance reasons. But we don't, as general, accept a 5-6 year old being given botox treatments as normal. We think, instead, the mother has acceptance issues. Why, then, do we think it is perfectly ok for a person to have surgery to implant prosthesis into their body for a nonmedical reason? Why have those women allowed themselves to become a secondary cartoon character instead of demanding that they be accepted as a full human? I think it is an illness that is promoted and in fact, condoned by the medical society. There aren't that many babies born without a face.
8
I'm pretty savvy and up-to-date when it comes to pop culture but have been unaware of this latest fad. This makes me wonder if Sports Illustrated really holds all that much sway anymore; like Playboy and beauty pageants it seems a quaint, if problematic, tradition that only certain people actually care about (namely the kind of women who take their boyfriends with them to have work done on their whoo-has).
It's hard to imagine that any heterosexual man who actually loves women and our bodies really cares about this. They might glance or gawk at the display in much the same way that are distracted by big boobs, but I'm betting they are happiest about the bodies they are allowed to touch and hold. Maybe the response shouldn't be "great, here's another thing to hate about our bodies" but "wow, here's another way SI is wrong about what men find sexy in real life."
It's hard to imagine that any heterosexual man who actually loves women and our bodies really cares about this. They might glance or gawk at the display in much the same way that are distracted by big boobs, but I'm betting they are happiest about the bodies they are allowed to touch and hold. Maybe the response shouldn't be "great, here's another thing to hate about our bodies" but "wow, here's another way SI is wrong about what men find sexy in real life."
14
My feeling about this ends at: "T'ain't nobody's business if I do".
One other point. You say "Girls' and women's ... health and their rights matter. I agree! Although I don't worry about the health of models on the covers of magazines, I do worry those many women (and men!) who are sufficiently obese that it puts their health and longevity at risk. But that is not a topic for polite conversation.
One other point. You say "Girls' and women's ... health and their rights matter. I agree! Although I don't worry about the health of models on the covers of magazines, I do worry those many women (and men!) who are sufficiently obese that it puts their health and longevity at risk. But that is not a topic for polite conversation.
4
I'm gay and have never thought I should look like a cover girl, of SI or whatever.
Jane Lynch put it well: “Can I just say that as a feminist, I am appalled by these images. And as a lesbian, I am delighted!”
Jane Lynch put it well: “Can I just say that as a feminist, I am appalled by these images. And as a lesbian, I am delighted!”
8
The next thing to worry about will be earlobes, especially since the gigantic earrings fad is taking its toll. Women will be lifting, trimming, plumping, flattening, shaping our earlobes. Yegads, what a vain, trivial society we are becoming. And I ask, while younger girlfriends are reconstructing their mons, are aging male escorts hitching up their drooping testicles? I doubt it.
19
Bottom line: this scrutiny about our bodies and faces is because we are treated as objects and not people.
As you point out in your article, it keeps us out of true power in the political arena. This obsession with females' appearances takes a lot of time -- not to mention money -- and is such a bore!
Thanks for the great article
As you point out in your article, it keeps us out of true power in the political arena. This obsession with females' appearances takes a lot of time -- not to mention money -- and is such a bore!
Thanks for the great article
14
Dear God, what is "vaginal reconstruction?"
17
Perhaps this practice (and not Viagra) is the cause of the scourge of "painful intercourse" now come to a TV commercial near you.
4
Finally! Something we can actually "just say no" to.
Seriously, I agree with the commenter who said "if it hurts, don't do it." And I'd add to that, if you feel you have to constantly prune and sculpt and uplift to impress a man or your girlfriends, then honey, they ain't worth it.
Seriously, I agree with the commenter who said "if it hurts, don't do it." And I'd add to that, if you feel you have to constantly prune and sculpt and uplift to impress a man or your girlfriends, then honey, they ain't worth it.
20
Why do women shave their underarms? And, how many of the female commentators who object to shaving their pubic hair, shave their underarms? Both are "secondary sex characteristics." Or leg hair? All are indicative of sexual maturity and serve specific functions that arguably become less necessary as we evolve from our prehistoric selves. BUT ... because of FASHION we -- women primarily -- have taken to shaving some of this hair. With the advent of short dresses and silk stockings in the roaring 20's, legs were shaved. Following the introduction of short sleeves or sleeveless styles, next went the under arm hair. Now, with skimpy bikinis commonplace, is it no surprise that pubic hair disappears?
Certainly, it is a personal preference. Just as everything else. I am sure few would resort to trouble if they didn't WANT too. And, let's be honest ladies ... How many of you desire a guy who wears a full sweater 24/7 ... Even to the beach?
Certainly, it is a personal preference. Just as everything else. I am sure few would resort to trouble if they didn't WANT too. And, let's be honest ladies ... How many of you desire a guy who wears a full sweater 24/7 ... Even to the beach?
10
dunno what you are talking about the 'full sweater 24/7....'
I had a long relationship with a blond girl who shaved nothing on her body (and she was no bearded lady, either). Nobody noticed the leg or underarm hair because it was so light, and the 'undercarriage' was the same. Her body hair was neither a turn-on or a turn-off because SHE was the turn-on.
I had a long relationship with a blond girl who shaved nothing on her body (and she was no bearded lady, either). Nobody noticed the leg or underarm hair because it was so light, and the 'undercarriage' was the same. Her body hair was neither a turn-on or a turn-off because SHE was the turn-on.
6
Full sweater, 24/7 ... A guy with so much body hair that it seems as though he is wearing a black, wool sweater ... ALL THE TIME!
1
I've not shaved anything in decades. Still having plenty of great sex. I wear skirts without stockings and tanks in the summer, so my body hair is apparent. I've never cared.
8
Don't get your knickers in a twist. All you have to do is NOT do this. You're not going to be rejected by any man worth having if you don't have a pretty pattern on your mons.
12
"At 44, I am old enough to remember when reconstruction was something you read about in history class....."
FORTY FOUR?!? Jail bait.
FORTY FOUR?!? Jail bait.
7
It's being done to men as well. While I think Chris Hemsworth is perfect for Thor I sure wouldn't want to snuggle up to him. Carved muscle and cut abs are not anything you want to bounce against on the headboard. Anyone who spends that much time in the gym and it isn't job related must be pretty dull over breakfast.
I'll take a man who looks like he might do some work for a living and likes his lasagne any day over a man who looks like he spends his life obsessing about his body fat index and how much he can bench press.
I'll take a man who looks like he might do some work for a living and likes his lasagne any day over a man who looks like he spends his life obsessing about his body fat index and how much he can bench press.
37
You have done yourself proud. 'Gentleman caller', not a boyfriend, significant other? What, no 'ladycaller', 'hookuper', 'betty'? I think I will retire to the locker room at my Y. Obviously I have been missing a lot. No need to enroll in a Butts and Guts class, it could be too dangerous.
3
The demise of the bush is so lamentable and tragically symbolic of our time. Poets everywhere should weep for the place where pheromones once gathered. It's little wonder that sexual attraction is on the wane. Not so that the young and frisky are too busy. The real problem is that their natural habitat has been deforested.
50
You said, "Do you think Eleanor Roosevelt spent a lot of time worrying about her undercarriage?" - obviously not and not just the "undercarriage". I respect her contribution to human rights, etc. but I think she is most definitely immune to being sexually objectified, at least by men - and your point is?
2
Sports Illustrated is a dinosaur that has to rely on this one big sophomoric stunt to stay alive and slightly relevant. They lower the bar, show us outrageouly photoshopped girls and predictably there will be columns of outrage written by middle aged real women in major newspapers with in the week. People who forgot about Sports Illustrated, like most of us, then rush to see what all the fuss was about. Sounds like good marketing to me, add the fact that the author's beloved has a direct stake in the popularity of said magazine and we have ourselves a media blitz.
10
Dear Ms. Weiner,
The "little toe". That's right, or left, whichever one you're looking at, the "little toe". It may receive some "polish" or, if it's still fashionable, a "piercing" but I do not think any woman, anywhere has had cosmetic surgery to "enhance" the appeal of the "little toe".
Oh sure, if it's damaged by accident, it may receive some care but if you are looking for parts of a woman's body that are not being re-worked, that's my nomination!
Otherwise, you're right; everything else on a woman's body is "up for grabs" from ridiculously large lips to ridiculously large breasts and virtually everything above and below those 2 items.
Except the "little toe". Apparently "Foot Fetishism" hasn't got it's own hot selling, soon to be made a movie novel proclaiming the liberating, sexually arousing experience of "Foot Worship".
Perhaps next year.
The "little toe". That's right, or left, whichever one you're looking at, the "little toe". It may receive some "polish" or, if it's still fashionable, a "piercing" but I do not think any woman, anywhere has had cosmetic surgery to "enhance" the appeal of the "little toe".
Oh sure, if it's damaged by accident, it may receive some care but if you are looking for parts of a woman's body that are not being re-worked, that's my nomination!
Otherwise, you're right; everything else on a woman's body is "up for grabs" from ridiculously large lips to ridiculously large breasts and virtually everything above and below those 2 items.
Except the "little toe". Apparently "Foot Fetishism" hasn't got it's own hot selling, soon to be made a movie novel proclaiming the liberating, sexually arousing experience of "Foot Worship".
Perhaps next year.
2
You're obviously too young to remember when women were amputating their little toes in order to fit into pointy-toed shoes. Shades of Cinderella's sisters.
2
This is a lot worse than botox. Way worse. It's cosmetic female genital mutilation.
http://www.thecriticalmom.blogspot.com
http://www.thecriticalmom.blogspot.com
8
Got my hair cut yesterday. Looked in the mirror when Susan was done and darn, I STILL didn't look like George Clooney. Every time, same thing. Oh well.
Now Jennifer's got a point, but she's almost doing the thing she's criticizing, just instead of being worried about a supposedly troublesome body part, she's obsessing over a supposedly troublesome personal activity---trying to look "good". In other words, she's looking for a societal perfection that would be as peculiar as the waxed and shaved perfection of Hannah Davis. And she's just as bothered by our human shortcomings as some women are by the hair on their ladyparts.
Relax. It's all just fashion and taste (or lack thereof). Miniskirts, maxiskirts, bell bottoms, hair there or Nair. Plenty of room.
Now Jennifer's got a point, but she's almost doing the thing she's criticizing, just instead of being worried about a supposedly troublesome body part, she's obsessing over a supposedly troublesome personal activity---trying to look "good". In other words, she's looking for a societal perfection that would be as peculiar as the waxed and shaved perfection of Hannah Davis. And she's just as bothered by our human shortcomings as some women are by the hair on their ladyparts.
Relax. It's all just fashion and taste (or lack thereof). Miniskirts, maxiskirts, bell bottoms, hair there or Nair. Plenty of room.
5
So there is nothing wrong with wanting to look good. And the sad reality is that sex sells and rich people marry beautiful people.
However magazines have always pushed the 'Keep up with the Jones' in order to market anything. So do yourself a favor and stop buying the glossy home decorating, garden and body building magazines and beauty magazines.
I stopped resenting what I didn't have and started enjoying what I did have a lot more when I did.
However magazines have always pushed the 'Keep up with the Jones' in order to market anything. So do yourself a favor and stop buying the glossy home decorating, garden and body building magazines and beauty magazines.
I stopped resenting what I didn't have and started enjoying what I did have a lot more when I did.
8
Well, I used to have great hair until I turned 55 back in 2012. My hair started falling off and I was diagnosed with alopaecia cicatrice. In a world where we've been told that a woman's beauty is her hair, the psychological impact it has had on me is unimaginable. So I shave off my head hair every two weeks and put on a natural-looking afro wig. At other times, I wear stylish silk scarves. Not to look any better than I did in the past, but to look presentable to the public...to feel good about myself. I hope I live long enough to see the day when bald head is in vogue!!!
As for my pubic hair...well there's a reason why it's part of my "private part." So I won't tell you about it....and unless a man is paying ALL my bills and going down on me, he has no right to dictate how I keep my pubic hair.
As for my pubic hair...well there's a reason why it's part of my "private part." So I won't tell you about it....and unless a man is paying ALL my bills and going down on me, he has no right to dictate how I keep my pubic hair.
17
For a writer addressing a serious subject, Jennifer Weimer has the best body part there is: a funny bone.
38
Would Eleanor Roosevelt have spent time worrying about the undercarriage?
No, and she wouldn't have worn tops which reveal two flesh balls waiting to pop out at any minute cut down to the waist line either.
Who comes up with this stuff? Oh, yeah, those trying to make a new way to make a buck. Sounds like they're succeeding. Well, for those who are foolish enough to contribute, so be it.
Think I'll go along with Eleanor. She did a little bit more to contribute to society. Different strokes for different folks.
No, and she wouldn't have worn tops which reveal two flesh balls waiting to pop out at any minute cut down to the waist line either.
Who comes up with this stuff? Oh, yeah, those trying to make a new way to make a buck. Sounds like they're succeeding. Well, for those who are foolish enough to contribute, so be it.
Think I'll go along with Eleanor. She did a little bit more to contribute to society. Different strokes for different folks.
22
Clearly, Ms. Weiner hasn't gone through an art museum recently. Hannah Davis is revealing no more than Venus de Milo, Botticelli's Birth of Venus, the Winged Victory of Samonthrace....These are tame compared to the regular issue of Vogue magazine. Feminism fought for women's sexual freedom, but not for commercial use!
6
Awesome, Jennifer. Thanks.
8
One word on this year's issue: boring. Whether it's the monotonous tan hued photography or the insipid editorial text, SI has lost more than its sports photographers... It has lost our interest.
8
It's a woman's duty to look good for men
2
East Jesus....I get it....HA
5
This is a horrible trend, now getting to be a decade old, and only becoming more widespread. Bear in mind, the whole thing began with pornography, where it was determined that removing hair would result in bigger-looking equipment. Remember this -- and men are also to be advised about their own appearance -- when you shed your nether locks, you are becoming pale imitations of porno stars!
Also, you are resembling little children -- making you more attractive to pedophiles you likely don't want to know? And mannequins?
It's like a "What's the Matter With Kansas?" thing -- everyone should have already figured it out, but it only gets worse?
Also, you are resembling little children -- making you more attractive to pedophiles you likely don't want to know? And mannequins?
It's like a "What's the Matter With Kansas?" thing -- everyone should have already figured it out, but it only gets worse?
8
I mean WHY on earth are we still discussing this?...Anybody with half-a-brain knows that the entire visualized image of the "Perfect" Woman is virtually unachievable....(without lots of pain, and money ..and time to heal ---after a certain age, that is....)
Will somebody please wake-up.....
Will somebody please wake-up.....
1
A perfect woman is not achievable because the idea is Perfectly Ubsurd; to suggest it can be achieved is feeding into this Rediculous Barbie Doll nonsensical false portrayal of authentic Beauty which in part must contain virtue.
If women ignore this nonsense it will go away.
3
No. When men start ignoring this nonsense, it will go away.
14
Fine article, Jennifer Weiner. Appreciate it, as a woman, and as a human. AND, I'd suggest a quick read of one of Sylvia Plath's most cynical poems, "The Applicant" http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/248652
The Applicant [By Sylvia Plath]
"First, are you our sort of a person?
Do you wear
A glass eye, false teeth or a crutch,
A brace or a hook,
Rubber breasts or a rubber crotch,
Stitches to show something's missing? No, no? Then
How can we give you a thing?
Stop crying...."
The Applicant [By Sylvia Plath]
"First, are you our sort of a person?
Do you wear
A glass eye, false teeth or a crutch,
A brace or a hook,
Rubber breasts or a rubber crotch,
Stitches to show something's missing? No, no? Then
How can we give you a thing?
Stop crying...."
9
You really shouldn't hate yourself - you should direct it at the culture you've been born into. One measure of a culture is how the men treat their women, and the psyches of each, and, in spite of the level of material hedonism this culture has attained, both are pretty bad - a lot of beauty is being flushed down the toilet in the name of shallowness.
10
I was in Iran recently for two weeks. No public displays of half naked wonen to be seen. Guess what? It was really nice. The women seem to be more respected there than here. Yes they rdive, there are more in college than men and they have professional careers. I have a 15 yea told daughter and I worry a great deal about what society is saying to young women. I'd also encourage Derek Jeter to tell his lady to put her clothes on. SI makes a lot of money and gets huge publicity from this sort of thing. When we stop making it so profitable maybe they will begin to respect women.
Here's a video of the women of Iran...
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rqVqhkNu4AE
Here's a video of the women of Iran...
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rqVqhkNu4AE
4
The obligation or requirement is the problem. I love your video and I went to college with a lot of women dressed similarly. All very nice. All individuals, but no one should have their choices taken away based on their gender. I couldn't help but notice the boys and men, bareheaded, short sleeved. Wouldn't that be nice if those women could dress like that if they wanted to.
11
Ladies, if the guy you're with likes it all shaved off, drop kick his little-girl-fantasy ### and go find yourselves a real man.
89
Best line was the one about how all you needed to see hardcore pornography was "a laptop and a credit card."
5
Sorry. Go Barbie or go home. ;-p
2
And you left out "cankles". Until I heard of cankles a few years ago, I thought we had mapped all the female body parts with which to be disgusted. What is the point of all this body angst? People now date electronically; soon we will have virtual sex with avatars filling in for mates, so what does it matter? Porn shows fake sex, the media shows fake pictures photo shopped to death, and pretty soon, we will all lead fake lives. Kind of makes one wonder how for thousands of years, the female body was synonymous with beauty.
14
Of course, waxing one's groin is a silly and unnecessary habit - for men, women or adolescents of either sex. Nevertheless, so is shaving your armpits and/or your legs. And if you're a bloke, your face (although I concede that my face does feel horribly uncomfortable unshaven). Let's have some consistency here.
6
Who puts all these stupid ideas into women's heads? Why it's other women , of course. Anyone who thinks for one second that men give a hoot about the the textural abutments under discussion is suffering from an extreme case of plumber's crack envy.
4
Just when you thought it could not get any worse
it does.
Good Heavens Sports Illustrated get back to Sports.
it does.
Good Heavens Sports Illustrated get back to Sports.
15
I love how the author says accessing porn with laptop and credit card for hardcore stuff. Get with the times. You can do it from your phone and it's free.
On that note, this author seems to give credence to the very thing she abhors, judgement of women's bodies. I know when I get critical about guys walking around with their shirts off or how gay culture seems obsessed with buff bodies, it's really insecurity about my own body.
I go to the gym. I don't look like the proto-typical gay dude. Nor will I ever. Instead, I think I'll read more about the burgeoning sustainability of capitalism. #FirstWorldProblems
On that note, this author seems to give credence to the very thing she abhors, judgement of women's bodies. I know when I get critical about guys walking around with their shirts off or how gay culture seems obsessed with buff bodies, it's really insecurity about my own body.
I go to the gym. I don't look like the proto-typical gay dude. Nor will I ever. Instead, I think I'll read more about the burgeoning sustainability of capitalism. #FirstWorldProblems
6
While I share Ms. Weiner's concern about the increasing vulgarity of our culture I must gently remind her that for years the prevailing opinion in elite culture has been that if you find a particular image offensive you must turn away from it. If you don't like the picture, don't look at it. I have seen and heard this viewpoint expressed many times in many places, including the editorial page of the NY Times.
1
In defense of Photoshop: A 2D image (photograph) makes anyone look heavier than they actually are. Any good retoucher will work to make your photo look more like you. Many 'corrections' are those that compensate for the distortions created by camera lenses, poses, and lighting. Shoot from above and people's necks looks less fat. Shoot from below than they look especially fat. Women wear makeup to try to look better. Photoshop, by someone with skill, can do the same thing. Some retouching artists have a heavy hand like the cosmetologist of Tammy Faye Bakker, while others make you look more like yourself. Most of the people cannot tell that their own photo has been retouched, meaning most people have a different perception of what they look like than everyone else who knows them. Please, stop blaming the tools of the trade for the way people are.
6
Saddening but true:
They are those who can afford (or maybe can with a credit card) for a reconstruction while they are those who can't and are struggling with after-math of FGM and NEED money to reconstruct and what's more the facility and surgeon skills!
Point of view: For some women in rich countries this opportunity is a"luxury" while for others in poor countries this is a "necessity"
What is it worth to you?
They are those who can afford (or maybe can with a credit card) for a reconstruction while they are those who can't and are struggling with after-math of FGM and NEED money to reconstruct and what's more the facility and surgeon skills!
Point of view: For some women in rich countries this opportunity is a"luxury" while for others in poor countries this is a "necessity"
What is it worth to you?
2
When Weiner said she was 44, I thought, "that's still young enough to know what young women are up to nowadays," but then she went into a crotchety nostalgic rant about the good ol' days "when the films had plots." What's next, a diatribe about the price of margarine or the disappearance of phone booths? It is nice that she has chosen this moment to "draw a line in the sand," but the real moment to have done so was decades ago when Barbie started making girls insecure about their bodies, or probably even much earlier than that. Weiner is WAY too late on this issue.
3
I saw the SI cover and thought it was very sexy, but much tamer than any number of rotating photo exhibits at the Guggenheim.
And seriously ladies, Hannah Davis is a supermodel, of course you and the average woman will not look nearly as good as her, just like I'm not 7' tall like Tim Duncan. If her picture makes you feel "insecure," as the author suggests, than the problem is not the swimsuit model, but your own lack of self-confidence.
And seriously ladies, Hannah Davis is a supermodel, of course you and the average woman will not look nearly as good as her, just like I'm not 7' tall like Tim Duncan. If her picture makes you feel "insecure," as the author suggests, than the problem is not the swimsuit model, but your own lack of self-confidence.
8
Men used to idealize real women, curvy was sexy, hairy was sexy. Now the ideal has gone prepubescent and it is disturbing. No hair, no hips no body fat.
Why do fashion writers in New York ,Paris and Milan get to choose what the ideal feminine form should be. Marylin Monroe, Jane Mansfield etc. would be shamed as being too fat.
Why do fashion writers in New York ,Paris and Milan get to choose what the ideal feminine form should be. Marylin Monroe, Jane Mansfield etc. would be shamed as being too fat.
19
Coming from the "Hair," Earth Mother generation, it seems really odd to me that the 'sexy look' is now that of little girls and old women.
13
Men, and their magazines:
For the final time... I am not here to entertain you.
For the final time... I am not here to entertain you.
23
I am pretty sure I just read something by Keira Knightley about having her breasts photoshopped and apparently she did a topless somewhere as proof of what nature has provided.
Sadly, sex sells and there is not likely to be any let up anytime soon, but it doesn't mean that women have to be made to feel insecure, which is exactly what corporations want . You stink so get some deodorant, you are too short so get some 9 inch spikers, you are fat so go on a diet.
Ladies, it is up to you to NOT fall for their brain washing. you are fine, toss the wax, toss the super micro bikini, and things will be fine.
They are hoping that your opinion of yourself will be shaky enough that you will defer to them for what you life should be.
Sadly, sex sells and there is not likely to be any let up anytime soon, but it doesn't mean that women have to be made to feel insecure, which is exactly what corporations want . You stink so get some deodorant, you are too short so get some 9 inch spikers, you are fat so go on a diet.
Ladies, it is up to you to NOT fall for their brain washing. you are fine, toss the wax, toss the super micro bikini, and things will be fine.
They are hoping that your opinion of yourself will be shaky enough that you will defer to them for what you life should be.
5
A FEW years ago I got a Groupon for laser hair removal. Sitting in the waiting room....
What a horrible commentary and stance to such a horrible insinuation..... Why can't women think for themselves? Why does it ALWAYS have to be in some way or some how in comparison to men in what they do or do not do? It's completely pathetic and completely against their own goals. It's unfathomable that they do not see that this is the crux of the matter. Almost disgusting in its scope. To not have any sort of self respect. Get a hold of yourselves. Not only will you have NO self respect before accepting this truth, but until you do it just accentuates the problem. This is so horrible. Basically, you feminists are hoping on your greatest detractors to help you solve greatest dilemma and expecting everyone else on the side to helps and take you seriously. What a joke!
What a horrible commentary and stance to such a horrible insinuation..... Why can't women think for themselves? Why does it ALWAYS have to be in some way or some how in comparison to men in what they do or do not do? It's completely pathetic and completely against their own goals. It's unfathomable that they do not see that this is the crux of the matter. Almost disgusting in its scope. To not have any sort of self respect. Get a hold of yourselves. Not only will you have NO self respect before accepting this truth, but until you do it just accentuates the problem. This is so horrible. Basically, you feminists are hoping on your greatest detractors to help you solve greatest dilemma and expecting everyone else on the side to helps and take you seriously. What a joke!
Real women have never cared about SI covers because they know it's all about made-up baloney. It's the same ridiculous flurry every year for some, but women just aren't that interested in that kind of sham any more.
I see not too many comments so far--I saw the cover somewhere, it's not even worth the notice, let alone making a comment.
I see not too many comments so far--I saw the cover somewhere, it's not even worth the notice, let alone making a comment.
3
Um, threw my SI in the garbage when it came. Why do you think you have to conform to an image? Gettin tired of the supposed outrage. Seems women love to be outraged as some bonding thing. Get a life? Ignore feeling you have to be a "type?" Bursting the "outrage" bonding bubble.
2
You sure you're not a sneaky publicist for SI, Blanche, what with your gentleman caller's book and all? Cuz we (my goodwife and self), home-bound as we are with mountains of snow outside and a blizzard in the offing, just had to see *the pic* for ourselves right away. We clicked. We saw. And we were shocked, shocked. But hard cheese, my goodwife vowed not to ever buy that swimsuit, and I'm not gonna trudge through all that snow to buy a copy of the Swimsuit issue (might steal it from my dentist's office, though, if noone's beaten me to it).
3
I prefer it trimmed so my wife does. What you do is your(and your significant others) business.
It's not just females, my wife does not like facial hair so I shave daily.
Do we need to read a whole sob article on it?
It's not just females, my wife does not like facial hair so I shave daily.
Do we need to read a whole sob article on it?
11
Oh, puhleeze. Anyone in his/her right mind sees the SI annual swimsuit issue, (like the guffaw-worthy Victoria's Secret "Fashion Show" - c'mon - those costumes!), as the nonsense that it is. THOSE portrayals of the female body (and yes, no doubt a lot of it is photoshopped) are freakish to my mind, not the bodies of regular, real women. And I'm certainly not going to start hating any part of my body because Hannah Davis decided it'd be a great career move to show her mons pubis to the world.
3
Spot on. Not, um, gee-spot on.
If you're the type of gal that wants to win a dude over by having the sweetest mons pubis - go for it and get the guy of your dreams! And in 15 years after marriage and multiple childbirths when your mons pubis looks horrible and droopy and your husband left you for the nanny but you won all the money yourwanted in the divorce settlement - you still won - job well done!
Seriously the kinds of dudes that seek this sort of stuff and the women that play along maintaining absurd regimens so their pubic mons look awesome deserve each other. I'll stick with someone that I enjoy talking to on a Sunday morning rather than bragging to other guys about her mons pubis maintenance in her 30's and 40's.
Seriously the kinds of dudes that seek this sort of stuff and the women that play along maintaining absurd regimens so their pubic mons look awesome deserve each other. I'll stick with someone that I enjoy talking to on a Sunday morning rather than bragging to other guys about her mons pubis maintenance in her 30's and 40's.
11
One step closer to the world envisioned in Idiocracy.
2
Does the author really believe that you need a credit card to look at porn?
6
Ladies, please don't do anything to yourselves. You're all just fine as you are. And please don't send me any nude pictures. I have a good memory.
7
When did turning adult women into prepubescent girls become acceptable?
This is a disturbing trend - kinda creepy in my humble opinion.
This is a disturbing trend - kinda creepy in my humble opinion.
15
Come on. Guys are no better. With Pec and Butt implants they can look sculpted too. And you'd be amazed at what is done to a penis today for those with the money and pain threshold to have it done.
1
The article presents a well written, funny, trenchant, and very true viewpoint.
Nicely done!
Nicely done!
4
I'm just confused at how the author's partner's "oral history" of the swimsuit editions appeared in a coffee table book? Wouldn't that be on an audio format?
5
You had to bring Eleanor Roosevelt into the picture? Or my mom for that matter. Dark, unwholesome dreams for me tonight.
1
lazer hair removal is horrible (I researched it). First off, it burns like hell, & even after that painful first visit, your not done. You have to go back several times over the course of several months, each visit is expensive & painful & theres no guarantee your pubic hair will obey. Waxing is the way to go, pay $60-$80 a month or get a mirror, get flexible & do it yourself. Less TP, more fun! Summer is coming!
Isn't this a bit incongruous coming from an author of "chick lit"? I don't think there's much difference between the attitudes that such photos engender and the attitudes that such books engender.
10
Bravo! Wonderful piece. I want to cry tears of frustration when I see covers like SI. I don't know how to explain the sadness that I feel when I think about the outrageous beauty standards for women today. I wonder if we'll look back on this era the same way we view the outdated custom of foot-binding in China.
10
Show me a novel in an airport bookstore by a woman with the title, "Good in Bed" and I’ll show you someone who’s making money by manipulating women's minds with an ostensible how-to on sex... whether the content reflects the cover or not.
5
Cosmopolitan has made truly obscene amounts of money by recycling the same handful of 'good in bed' sex-tip articles for at least 50 years. Folks, there are minor variations, but ultimately there are only two basic models of the human body, and a limited number of positions in which you can juxtapose them.
5
So, why do you buy into that nonsense? Nobody can make you feel less (or inadequate about any given body part) without your permission. Do not give them permission.
8
Easier said than done. Like "just" loose weight, or "just" quit smoking. "just" leave your battering spouse.
8
Yes, I agree. That cover is sad, shocking, extremely inappropriate. But mostly sad.
10
Good for you Jennifer!!!
There should be many more articles like this one, balancing the male-oriented publishing world and the value-women-as-they-are much smaller world. Smaller world in publishing, that is. Not the real world.
sometimes I feel sorry for 'models' and sometimes (many more) I wonder how they can possibly live with themselves knowing they keep degrading women each and every one of their 'working' days.
I wonder how they will explain to their daughters and granddaughters ... in years to come. And they will have a lot of explaining to do.
There should be many more articles like this one, balancing the male-oriented publishing world and the value-women-as-they-are much smaller world. Smaller world in publishing, that is. Not the real world.
sometimes I feel sorry for 'models' and sometimes (many more) I wonder how they can possibly live with themselves knowing they keep degrading women each and every one of their 'working' days.
I wonder how they will explain to their daughters and granddaughters ... in years to come. And they will have a lot of explaining to do.
5
Amen! The shallowness of commercial media only gets to tell us what it means to be a woman if we let them.
6
Vanity is the enemy, not body parts to hate.
1
Hard to understand why we women still put ourselves through this sort of thing. Did we learn nothing from the early, brave days of the women's movement? Like: wear shoes you can run in; love your aging face; love your own hair color; love the shape and contours of your very own body. Come on, ladies!
10
i thot the article was well written and very funny. i wonder what's next?
i remember teaching middle school when butt cleavage first came into fashion. good luck trying to find a pair of cute pants that doesn't include butt cleavage. maybe mons pubis cleavage is the next fashion trend.
i remember teaching middle school when butt cleavage first came into fashion. good luck trying to find a pair of cute pants that doesn't include butt cleavage. maybe mons pubis cleavage is the next fashion trend.
Yes, modeling agents shouldn't be bigots.
Oh, Ms. Weiner!
This may be new news to you and Times readers, but it's old news mot places. Doctors and clinics have been making money from labiaplasty for some years now. The "natural" look is so far "out" right now that it may soon be "in" among the hip. I hope so, anyway. I'll be the first to give a big cheer.
signed,
Mr. Natural
This may be new news to you and Times readers, but it's old news mot places. Doctors and clinics have been making money from labiaplasty for some years now. The "natural" look is so far "out" right now that it may soon be "in" among the hip. I hope so, anyway. I'll be the first to give a big cheer.
signed,
Mr. Natural
7
Girls! If you're going to build a million-dollar garage, make sure you're parking a Ferrari in it.
8
Children don't have hair. Adults do. Isn't anyone bothered by the insistence that now adults must look like little kids to be sexy?
I think the whole thing is creepy. If some guy wants you to reconstruct your vagina for him, seems to me time to find a different guy.
I think the whole thing is creepy. If some guy wants you to reconstruct your vagina for him, seems to me time to find a different guy.
30
There's much to be said for being comfortable in your own skin. Get on with it.
3
Google "Japan manko arrest" for stories on a Japanese woman's efforts to take this "thing" out of the shadows.
The author's "Gentleman Caller" edits the swimsuit issue coffee table book? My god, David Carr is missed at the Times. Who is in charge around here?
6
The most disturbing thing about this is that an appealing sexual image is not an adult image. Does this have an effect on children?
8
How cute that she thinks you need to pay for online porn.
5
Why not equal opportunity for men? An SI cover of a hairless, perfectly sculpted guy in micro speedos.
5
Have you opened a GQ magazine recently? Most of the male models are more effeminate, cosmetically enhanced and hairless than any woman I know.
4
It's been a really long time since I was in the marketplace, but are there men out there now who will actually turn down the opportunity to have sex with a woman just because she doesn't have a perfectly sculpted and hairless mons? Or who has peach-fuzz on her arms? Or who doesn't turn herself inside out and spend thousands of dollars to look like some kind of mythic nymphette? Back when I was dating, men didn't seem to be all that picky, and thank God for that!
80
Yes, many men are now very picky and will comment if they prefer a particular way of doing things. They have also become quite lazy. The established pattern among men of a certain age is the expectation that you will show - up at their door ready to do the deed. And if you show any sign that they're going to have to put any kind of effort in - like take you out for a drink or heaven forbid - a date, they immediately vanish. It's a byproduct of people no longer holding one another accountable, the hookup culture, and I can only conclude - relaxed parenting.
9
This procedure is for infantilizing women; making them look prepubescent. Weak and powerless. Requested by OCD domineering husbands. And will give a woman painful sex forever.
66
That's YOUR opinion. Personally, I don't find it painful. I find that it makes it more pleasurable. It was not requested by my boyfriend. It was my choice. I enjoy the way it feels. Just like we shouldn't judge when someone doesn't shave or wax or whatever their pubic area, we shouldn't judge when people do.
3
As a mother of an 8 year old, I want to cry. My daughter is being teased for being too skinny. How do I begin to tell her that we all have our own body type and that there is no "right" or "wrong" way to look? How can I teach her to develop her intellect, that what is important is how she treats others, and that a girl can and should be judged on what she does and says, versus how she looks? This latest S/I photo makes me sick to my stomach. I appreciate the thoughtful writing of Jennifer Weiner.
37
Harry Potter. Read those books to her. Hermione is a plain girl, but one of the most amazing characters. She absolutely brilliant and a wonderful role model. The girl who saves the dayand everyone wants to be because she's smart and only because she's smart.
8
Ms. Weiner's take represents sanity. My husband points out the sexist part of a woman is what's between her ears. Her mind.
21
Love this piece. Funny and dead on. What a scam. Advertising and consumption in general is fueled by endlessly creative shaming.
52
In the real world where I talk with people every day, nobody cares about any of this model-perfect business. I don't know why people in the media have a need to obsess about other people in the media.
16
How about we love ourselves for who and what we are and stop comparing ourselves to airbrushed women whom in real life can't even compete with their photoshopped selves.
40
Unfortunately, the 12-24 year old youth do not understand these are not real pictures!!! Every magazine, every cover, every ad, every reality TV show is airbrushed and photo shopped. Maybe the only one that wasn't, was snookie!
5
To each his (or her) own I guess. There's plenty of happy places to settle between 50 shades and close the shades.
4
I am also 44 and I echo the author's comments about today's crazy euphemisms for areas of the female body. When it comes to feeling good as a woman, I have to say that I've consciously thrown away the self-hating language (and torture!) and instead have embraced whatever makes me feel luscious. Sensuality and arousal begin in the woman's mind, and there is nothing more powerful in attracting men.
In that vein, I will quote my darling husband, here, with the sweetest words he could ever say to me: He doesn't want a girl, he wants a woman. If it doesn't jiggle, he doesn't want it.
In that vein, I will quote my darling husband, here, with the sweetest words he could ever say to me: He doesn't want a girl, he wants a woman. If it doesn't jiggle, he doesn't want it.
41
Your husband is a good, mature man! Mine always says, "I'm not gay, I'm not a pedophile. I don't get turned on by a 'woman' who looks like a 12 year old boy."
5
way out of date. though i do remember early 1980s when the war cry in LaMaze classes was "refuse to let them shave you" during childbirth... news flash:
1) women have been shaving waxing and trimming for nearly 15 years now. nothing new. and by the way so have men for at least 7 years if not longer (see Gilette, "manscaping".) some people just like it. it is definitely cleaner and has nothing to do with wanting a child or wanting to be a child.
1A) and not just younger trenders. it's actually great for older women and men when things start getting grey and straggly and wiry. why not? doesn't everybody take care of that one big eyebrow hair that shows up around 50? (except for andy griffith LOL).
2) people have been trying to stay in shape for a pretty long time also. that photo has unusual definition and Miss Davis is naturally long and thin but... again, nothing new. muscle tone to aspire to though not every physique will achieve it. justin bieber did.
3) what was new? that the cover of a mainstream magazine got closer to full frontal than i've seen in a while. that was pushing the envelope a bit for newstands and general all-age consumption. but again, pretty tame, if you've ever perused what was going on in playboy centerfolds for the last decade or more.
4) what else is new: we're still not sure what to do with it. well adjusted people say no big deal. people with boundary trouble, well that's another story, when things go wrong.
1) women have been shaving waxing and trimming for nearly 15 years now. nothing new. and by the way so have men for at least 7 years if not longer (see Gilette, "manscaping".) some people just like it. it is definitely cleaner and has nothing to do with wanting a child or wanting to be a child.
1A) and not just younger trenders. it's actually great for older women and men when things start getting grey and straggly and wiry. why not? doesn't everybody take care of that one big eyebrow hair that shows up around 50? (except for andy griffith LOL).
2) people have been trying to stay in shape for a pretty long time also. that photo has unusual definition and Miss Davis is naturally long and thin but... again, nothing new. muscle tone to aspire to though not every physique will achieve it. justin bieber did.
3) what was new? that the cover of a mainstream magazine got closer to full frontal than i've seen in a while. that was pushing the envelope a bit for newstands and general all-age consumption. but again, pretty tame, if you've ever perused what was going on in playboy centerfolds for the last decade or more.
4) what else is new: we're still not sure what to do with it. well adjusted people say no big deal. people with boundary trouble, well that's another story, when things go wrong.
5
Women have been removing varying amounts of body hair for centuries. Like any trend, it waxes (ha!) and wanes but what we are going through is nothing new. Ancient Greeks and Egyptians removed all their pubic hair. Europeans in the Middle Ages didn't. I say do what you want, it's your body.
1
It's pretty clear: obscene cruds will do anything to try to pry money out of those who are either too stupid or too sadly and blindly oversensitive to realize they're being taken for a ride by some greedy jerk telling them there's something wrong with them when there's not.
34
True, but the ones we have to worry about are the young ones, already with unrealistic expectations for their lives being held up, and this You Must Have A Perfect Body As We Define It bilge is what is obscene, as Ms Weiner accurately pointed out. A good backlash, from both women and men, to the effect of Health, Safety and Happiness* are important; this garbage of looking like an airbrushed, stylized (yes, I mean exactly that) representation of a woman's looks--that is NOT important.
*as in life, liberty and the pursuit of.
*as in life, liberty and the pursuit of.
3
"unruly bit of body that women are expected to subdue through diet and exercise."
This an individual choice, and not a universal standard. Subdue or not subdue, your move.
This an individual choice, and not a universal standard. Subdue or not subdue, your move.
5
What upsets me most is that women no longer consider their body merely "imperfect" they consider it "disgusting." The level of self hatred is shocking. I stopped shaving my legs and underarms; my daughters, both feminists, were repulsed. Women at the gym stared at me with a look of disgust, as if I hadn''t bathed. A young woman I know, highly educated and otherwise intelligent, told me that she was not going to breast feed her baby because it would ruin her breasts.
Of course women want to be attractive, and there is no shame in that. The "beauty industry" has twisted that simple natural urge into a self destructive obsession. They are not doing it for some anti-feminist political agenda, they are doing it to make money. The porn industry, and the SI porn-light, feed into this destructive cycle in order to make money off of men's quite natural urge to fantasize about unobtainable women. We are all dupes.
Of course women want to be attractive, and there is no shame in that. The "beauty industry" has twisted that simple natural urge into a self destructive obsession. They are not doing it for some anti-feminist political agenda, they are doing it to make money. The porn industry, and the SI porn-light, feed into this destructive cycle in order to make money off of men's quite natural urge to fantasize about unobtainable women. We are all dupes.
319
ML: great insights...I'm just not sure that men's "quite natural urge" hasn't been cultivated while women's vehemently discouraged. I think it's time to blame culture and not genetics.
11
ML, spot on. Because "Fifty Shades Of Grey" is now a movie hit, women will also buy into being physically hurt and humiliated as being "normal".
14
Your comment totally flashed me back to middle school. I remember sitting in classroom when there was a bit of downtime and people were chatting. I remember nothing else of the circumstances or conversation except for the one moment that remains crystal clear in my memory: a female classmate declaring "Oh my God! I would not even want to sit next to a girl who doesn't shave her legs! Like, ew!"
It wasn't aimed at anyone in particular, but as a non-shaving 12-year old, I remember thinking with mild alarm that I'd apparently dodged a bullet and learned how not to make a major social faux pas -- and luckily, before I'd been caught. Better get on that now!
Kids learn from what they hear and observe around them. We expect people to do this -- to pick up on social norms and to follow them. Sure, as adults, we supposedly have free will, nobody's holding a gun to your head and forcing you under the plastic surgeon's knife, etc.. But some of those seeds are sowed young and quite forcefully -- with the outright disgust that you described -- and have really twisted themselves up inside people by the time that more critical thinking skills and/or alternative points of view present themselves.
It wasn't aimed at anyone in particular, but as a non-shaving 12-year old, I remember thinking with mild alarm that I'd apparently dodged a bullet and learned how not to make a major social faux pas -- and luckily, before I'd been caught. Better get on that now!
Kids learn from what they hear and observe around them. We expect people to do this -- to pick up on social norms and to follow them. Sure, as adults, we supposedly have free will, nobody's holding a gun to your head and forcing you under the plastic surgeon's knife, etc.. But some of those seeds are sowed young and quite forcefully -- with the outright disgust that you described -- and have really twisted themselves up inside people by the time that more critical thinking skills and/or alternative points of view present themselves.
9
Really great article!
As a woman, am I the only one alarmed by men who remove their very sexy chest hair? They look like pre-pubescent boys and not at all sexy to me. The thing is it is lasered off never to come back again and I think it is sad.
As a woman, am I the only one alarmed by men who remove their very sexy chest hair? They look like pre-pubescent boys and not at all sexy to me. The thing is it is lasered off never to come back again and I think it is sad.
34
I love chest hair too....a man without it is a meal without wine.
5
If women are waiting until they can perfect their bodies in order to meet cultural expectations, good luck. If women rail against the media, yelling "Stop doing this to us!" and expecting a change, good luck there, too. The more absurd things get, the clearer it is to me: Quit listening to those voices that demean, anger and diminish you. Pay attention to something else, like deciding what kind of life you want to live, and then living it.
29
Thank god, I'm way too old to have to worry about reconstructing my vagina, sculpting my moms pubis and waxing away my public hair. But I feel terrible for the young women who believe that they must do these thnigs to be beautiful. It's not just disturbing, it's heartbreaking.
117
The less they have on the inside, the more they have to sculpt, preen, pluck the outside.
6
Let's call the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue what it is - pornography.
Instead of putting a cover on it, announce it. The bar code will be activated at the cashier or when the home copy is opened, "You are supporting pornography. This objectifies women."
Instead of putting a cover on it, announce it. The bar code will be activated at the cashier or when the home copy is opened, "You are supporting pornography. This objectifies women."
39
She is objectifying herself. The objectifying lies not so much in the hairlessness below as in the huge breasts she has chosen to have. No woman with that physique could naturally have breasts that large and round. (That aside, I'm sure the publishing industry will happily support your bar code idea.)
2
As a white male who has benefited from white privilege over the years, I feel great shame that I have not realized, until reading this heartfelt opinion piece, how much this "sports journalism" issue every year objectifies and dehumanizes women of all backgrounds.
23
Thank you for this opinion piece. The present age with ubiquitous media access is very detrimental to the goal of people finding their personal balance and developing a sound and healthy self image. Especially if - as you correctly note - there is a lot of money to be made in fanning people's insecurity and promoting the "what will others think of me" anxiety.
10
I certainly don't see men, vain as they are, in general knocking themselves out to be fit, or attractive women. For some reason, their very amazing, large egos think they look just fine no matter how fat they are. Their bellies hang over their pants to the point where I worry, they are going to fall down, bad facial hair, combovers, really bad dental hygiene and other images come to mind. Let's all just concentrate on getting healthy and ignore people like the SI models. This is another desperate example of magazines trying to keep themselves afloat. With one third of the country obese and two thirds overweight we really have to concentrate on that issue and ignore pornography disguised as a magazine cover.
57
Actually, I just looked at the cover. She's adorable.
I resonate with the sentiment of the piece, but am confused about the focus. Are we talking vaginal reconstructive surgery (for health and comfort - my grandmother had that) or for looks and feel (internal or external?)? Or are we talking about neatening up or removing pubic hair? And because it's convenient to not have it dangle out of its shielding panties or bathing suits or because we're trying to meet our own or our partner's aesthetic expectations?
I look at that adorable model on the cover of Sports Illustrated and she reminds me of that perfect picture of a butterfly in National Geographic.
I resonate with the sentiment of the piece, but am confused about the focus. Are we talking vaginal reconstructive surgery (for health and comfort - my grandmother had that) or for looks and feel (internal or external?)? Or are we talking about neatening up or removing pubic hair? And because it's convenient to not have it dangle out of its shielding panties or bathing suits or because we're trying to meet our own or our partner's aesthetic expectations?
I look at that adorable model on the cover of Sports Illustrated and she reminds me of that perfect picture of a butterfly in National Geographic.
3
"Adorable" and "butterfly" aren't what I get when I look at that cover photo. Still trying to explain to my 14-year-old feminist daughter why that magazine came in the mail to our house.
7
Being a hipster, being cool. Now, it's shaving one's pubic hair. Expressing one' individuality, freedom? Nope, it's just mass conformity. The pop culture slaves do what their fashion masters command. Oh well, it's good for the consumer economy in some way, I guess (special razors, pubic shaving cream?).
11
This trend doesn't warrant much analysis. I have to believe women subject themselves to this "beauty-fix" because they really like the way they look afterwards. Why else? It's impossible for me to imagine a man implying, suggesting, or demanding any woman undergo regular "clearing" down there.
And yet women never stop trying. They get a new dress and expect their man to notice - and of course, he doesn't. Their friends will - but the man - dumb to the world. Still issues in the lower regions is not exclusive to women. Men too overly obsess. Anyone who's seen modern porn has seen both sexes defoliated to the extreme. And the actors are so much better looking than you and me.
While the women have achieved "perfect bodies" especially through the aid of plastic surgeons the porn men display a g-d given attribute for which no surgery provides. And we're left to believe that this is what women truly fantasize. What's wrong with us?
And yet women never stop trying. They get a new dress and expect their man to notice - and of course, he doesn't. Their friends will - but the man - dumb to the world. Still issues in the lower regions is not exclusive to women. Men too overly obsess. Anyone who's seen modern porn has seen both sexes defoliated to the extreme. And the actors are so much better looking than you and me.
While the women have achieved "perfect bodies" especially through the aid of plastic surgeons the porn men display a g-d given attribute for which no surgery provides. And we're left to believe that this is what women truly fantasize. What's wrong with us?
8
What women are or are not doing to the mons pubis is a side issue--as is the pruning and de-hairing of the female body. After all, the ancient Greeks pruned and waxed their bodies to no end. No, the core issue at stake rests elsewhere--namely, in how, exactly, women use their freedom in society.
Call me a prude (thank goodness the Times permits pseudonyms--my family would freak out me for writing this comment), but if you look with any detachment at our magazines, television shows, movies and popular culture in general, women commonly play the role of prancing, vamping, vulgar street prostitutes.
As to the SI cover in particular, well, yes, even in today's terms, it's over the top for a non-pornographic magazine; in a decade, it will probably be nothing. On a deeper level, it makes me wonder about my sex in general--about how a presumably intelligent and beautiful woman who is neither a prostitute nor a player in the porn industry, in order to make money and achieve fame, willingly sells her body this way.
I know, I know, the umpteenth wave of feminism claims this is genuine liberation. Even so, that women in the West now use their hard-won freedoms to pull down their panties for all to see is not exactly what Mary Wollstonecraft had in mind.
Call me a prude (thank goodness the Times permits pseudonyms--my family would freak out me for writing this comment), but if you look with any detachment at our magazines, television shows, movies and popular culture in general, women commonly play the role of prancing, vamping, vulgar street prostitutes.
As to the SI cover in particular, well, yes, even in today's terms, it's over the top for a non-pornographic magazine; in a decade, it will probably be nothing. On a deeper level, it makes me wonder about my sex in general--about how a presumably intelligent and beautiful woman who is neither a prostitute nor a player in the porn industry, in order to make money and achieve fame, willingly sells her body this way.
I know, I know, the umpteenth wave of feminism claims this is genuine liberation. Even so, that women in the West now use their hard-won freedoms to pull down their panties for all to see is not exactly what Mary Wollstonecraft had in mind.
233
We could learn a lot, I think, from the cultures and religions that value personal modesty.
3
Not too much. I would hate to go back to the 50's. I was there. An uptight time.
4
I know in many shows women prance, but some of my favorite shows are the NCIS brand. There the women have guns and can kick the butt of most men. Occasionally they do use their sexuality, but for every time one them wears a sexy outfit, then have bested twenty suspects. Another one of my shows, which is getting too soap operaish, is Suits. There the head of the firm is a woman. Is she hot, maybe too hot, yes, but still a strong and smart woman in the lead.
1
As grown adults we believe we can take or leave (and be criticised for it) the unrealistic expectations of women's bodies. But what about the young girl who is constantly being bombarded by these messages? What does she see and feel about her own appearance when all women in the media look the same, but none of them look like her? Even the most sensitive, responsible parents cannot combat the message that she will never be as "beautiful" as society expects her to be.
195
I have also noticed my teenage daughter use the term "disgusting" in reference to her various body parts that don't match the latest trends. She even complains that her beautiful dark brown eyes are not a lighter color. It takes self-hatred and insecurity to a new level that I find really disturbing. She is also convinced of the importance of being "hot". My daughter is very intelligent and usually logical, in middle school rolling her eyes at girls who only talked about hair and clothes, but now that she is in high school her intelligence doesn't protect her from these thoughts, or the belief that her male classmates have the same opinions about the 'acceptable' female form; I have not been able to convince her otherwise. At least she has never bought into the belief that she has to 'dumb down' around guys.
8
Thank you, Ms. Weiner, for calling out the insidiousness of the self-improvement-industrial complex that continues its inexorable march (literally) up one side of the female anatomy and down the other. I'm a girl's girl -- I've got a serious makeup habit and I'm perpetually back on a diet. But I'm frankly too strapped working at my career, maintaining my marriage and friendships, and keeping up my little household to spend actual time or money on the latest and greatest "problem areas." Still, there's no doubt of the general low-grade anxiety I experience stemming from the relentless cataloguing of women's supposed body and sartorial failings.
"Camel toe," "thigh gap" and all the rest are concepts invented to turn a profit at the great expense of everyday women. But just because someone out there has invented them, we don't have to buy in. We can agree to disagree with those whose upside relies on our believing we're just one nip/tuck (or goop-in-a-tube or workout routine) from good enough.
"Camel toe," "thigh gap" and all the rest are concepts invented to turn a profit at the great expense of everyday women. But just because someone out there has invented them, we don't have to buy in. We can agree to disagree with those whose upside relies on our believing we're just one nip/tuck (or goop-in-a-tube or workout routine) from good enough.
4
The other option is to stop paying attention to this nonsense - and stop playing victim. Instead mourn the fact our society is so out of whack, and find like-minded men and women to call friends and lovers and be done with this mainstream objectification that ruins souls. Take your power back. I refuse to play by these silly rules and give my attention to this un-evolved nonsense. Yes, it's lonelier, there's less people of this mindset, but we are out here and not obsessing about someone else's ideas of what is beautiful. Its a privilege to be able to do this (we are living in the USA)... and you can define beauty on your own terms, and choose to find men who do the same (and who somehow how transcended objectification and pornography, but they are out there too). Just offering. And PS - sometimes women are the ones that judge themselves harsher than men do...
11
I agree with you, Barb, when it comes to my own assessment of my body and attractiveness, but I have heard my teenage daughter refer to her various body parts as 'disgusting' and wonder if any boy/man would ever find her attractive (she is beautiful by any standard, by the way, and also very intelligent). I have tried to convince her that most men prefer a real woman, not one mostly shaped like an adolescent boy with boobs. I also tell her that lasting relationships depend on emotional intimacy and respect, that initial attraction only goes so far, and that many outstanding relationships develop out of friendships in which people fall in love with each other's brains, making them also feel physically attracted. But of course, I don't know anything and probably won't until she is about 20. How do I protect her from this insidiousness in the meanwhile?
9
My husband thinks my ladyplace is fine as it is, and his is the only opinion I care about. Anyone else who has an opinion can just keep it to themselves.
I have absolutely no problem with nudity, but I find the SI cover objectionable. There is a line, and they definitely crossed it.
I have absolutely no problem with nudity, but I find the SI cover objectionable. There is a line, and they definitely crossed it.
15
Good grief! All this worry and fussing and fiddling, all the years of trying to fix myself. How can I ever attain the body and clothing of today's female celebrities? I feel like I should either hide under a big coat or smock so no one knows, and have my face and neck made over, or maybe go outside. I even looked at my school yearbook and found girls of "normal;" size; i.e., 28" waist at high school graduation and 26" after meeting my husband to be. Abdomen flat as a pancake. And I was happy. Today on TV I see only "mannequins" who have primed themselves to have eyes and mouth that are trained go this way and that, clothing that appears to reduce to size 1 or 0, body parts that go out and parts that go in, with cleavage down to there, and shoes on stilts.
My conclusion is that I look pretty good, all things considered, at my lofty age. Except all women on the screen and in catalogs make it clear that anyone past the age of 50 no longer belongs. Only clothes with Lycra and spandex, which pinch and squeeze, are suitable. Maybe it's a conspiracy to do away with older women!!
My conclusion is that I look pretty good, all things considered, at my lofty age. Except all women on the screen and in catalogs make it clear that anyone past the age of 50 no longer belongs. Only clothes with Lycra and spandex, which pinch and squeeze, are suitable. Maybe it's a conspiracy to do away with older women!!
7
That cover's very close to porno but it sneaked by the censors I guess.
I feel sorry for females these days, they have to look good both dressed and undressed which is too high a standard for mere mortals.
Guys can have either looks, money, success or fame, so we have it a bit easier in life.
I feel sorry for females these days, they have to look good both dressed and undressed which is too high a standard for mere mortals.
Guys can have either looks, money, success or fame, so we have it a bit easier in life.
7
There are plenty of commercials, magazines, etc. that show men in the same kind of light, yet men don't get their panties in a bunch over it. Let women decide whether or not they want to change the way they look; that decision is totally up to them. Undeniably, almost one hundred percent of the women who make the decision to change their body do so willingly and don't feel like they've been pressured into doing it by what they've see in a Sports Illustrated magazine. We don't need people going around telling us how bad it is that these fads exist, because it really isn't that big of a deal.
1
I wonder if women are altering themselves in these ways primarily to impress men, or if it is something that lesbian women generally also find important.
4
Thanks, Jennifer. Great article. I was laughing while reading some of it, but it really isn't funny.
I'm old enough that I had never heard of "thigh gap" until I read this article. It is ironic and amusing, after feeling self-conscious in ballet classes years ago because I thought the gap between my thighs made me look strange and sort of bow-legged, to learn that this has now been arbitrarily deemed a highly desirable trait.
Think of how much more women could accomplish if we didn't waste time on all this stupid stuff. And this article didn't even get into the social unacceptability of gray hair.
I'm old enough that I had never heard of "thigh gap" until I read this article. It is ironic and amusing, after feeling self-conscious in ballet classes years ago because I thought the gap between my thighs made me look strange and sort of bow-legged, to learn that this has now been arbitrarily deemed a highly desirable trait.
Think of how much more women could accomplish if we didn't waste time on all this stupid stuff. And this article didn't even get into the social unacceptability of gray hair.
21
I love the use of euphemisms here. They are hilarious. And on the substance: when the "no pubic hair" thing started to become fashionable, I figured "fashion" had well and truly jumped the shark. I really, really don't want to have sex with a man who is apparently fantasizing that women look more like pre-pubescent girls. That's all kinds of creepy. I'll stick with men interested in adult women.
51
The assault on women's bodies is shocking and another bit of cognitive dissonance rampant in our society. It is intended, like most advertising these days, to divide and conquer. And alas, many women go along with it.
A number of years agoI was invited by a client to a Christmas bash, it featured a striptease and dance by a man and a woman. It was quite erotic, both were shapely and excellent dancers, obviously sportive, with one caveat. The dancing woman had fixed boobs. And the next daywhen I visited the client, all the guys there,mostly 20 years younger than I am, thought exactly the same.... This attack on women's bodies is also a pernicious attempt to explain to men what is sexy and what not. ... But in our puritan society, who is going to openly say what they like...
A number of years agoI was invited by a client to a Christmas bash, it featured a striptease and dance by a man and a woman. It was quite erotic, both were shapely and excellent dancers, obviously sportive, with one caveat. The dancing woman had fixed boobs. And the next daywhen I visited the client, all the guys there,mostly 20 years younger than I am, thought exactly the same.... This attack on women's bodies is also a pernicious attempt to explain to men what is sexy and what not. ... But in our puritan society, who is going to openly say what they like...
5
Jennifer,
I feel this ties in with the fashion industry's obsession with thin. To this day, while there are increasingly more women fashion designers, many of the movers and shakers ARE indeed men. I am tired of these (mainly) men and women expecting those who want to wear nice clothes to look androgynous "to be fashionable."
Back in the mid 90s, I called into a daytime show on CNN that had Calvin Klein on as a guest. I was a size 6 at the time but I asked him why there did not seem to be nice clothes for people of all sizes. Mr. Klein's response was something about him not catering to larger women and that "they" had other options. I am not sure if he/his company does make clothes for larger women nowadays and while his clothes can be wonderful, I always keep in mind that he looks pretty androgenous himself.
On a related note, I saw coverage of Ms. Anna Wintour at Kanye West's "fashion show." I don't know many women who would be caught dead in a bra top with tight leggings and a jacket and boots and pretty much nothing else. It made me LOL because it reminded me of the story "The Emperor's New Clothes." What fools we are.
And as to the older man in your story, there is no fool like an old fool.
I feel this ties in with the fashion industry's obsession with thin. To this day, while there are increasingly more women fashion designers, many of the movers and shakers ARE indeed men. I am tired of these (mainly) men and women expecting those who want to wear nice clothes to look androgynous "to be fashionable."
Back in the mid 90s, I called into a daytime show on CNN that had Calvin Klein on as a guest. I was a size 6 at the time but I asked him why there did not seem to be nice clothes for people of all sizes. Mr. Klein's response was something about him not catering to larger women and that "they" had other options. I am not sure if he/his company does make clothes for larger women nowadays and while his clothes can be wonderful, I always keep in mind that he looks pretty androgenous himself.
On a related note, I saw coverage of Ms. Anna Wintour at Kanye West's "fashion show." I don't know many women who would be caught dead in a bra top with tight leggings and a jacket and boots and pretty much nothing else. It made me LOL because it reminded me of the story "The Emperor's New Clothes." What fools we are.
And as to the older man in your story, there is no fool like an old fool.
15
The author should stop complaining. It's the women, that love the impossible competition. Men are actually turned off by all the anorexic models in the magazines. "This one will not bring you a healthy baby", is what the lizard part of our brain tells us. But women seem to love the comparisons. And the harder to achieve "perfection", the better.
4
It shames me as a man to think what men have done to woman throughout time and are still doing. Unimaginable physical and emotional harm; social, economic, and political oppression; every kind of exploitation imaginable.
And perhaps the worst part of it all is turning each woman against herself and each other. Rise up, rise up. Mother Earth needs you all now.
And perhaps the worst part of it all is turning each woman against herself and each other. Rise up, rise up. Mother Earth needs you all now.
23
One of my favorite artifacts from ancient Greece is a vase painting of a satyr plucking a woman's pubic hair. The practice is not new. The age of Perikles produced no Hollywood movies or women's magazines. Women have always primped, plucked, etc. to attract sexual attention. It's programmed into the genes. So have a glass of wine, relax, and grab a Groupon for a Brazilian. You might just enjoy the excitement in your lover's eyes.
13
Actually, one of the reasons they plucked and shaved that area was to control lice. The Egyptian upper classes shaved theirs heads (and every place else, as well, for the same reason). It was a health issue more than anything.
13
It should be noted that all revealing pictures that appear in national magazines have been extensively photoshopped, smoothed and altered to eliminate all vestiges of "imperfections" that the model might have. They are not real women, they are Disney creations.
24
Women need to stop being approval seekers and instead seek self-value.
The new SI issue should be a brown-cover display in stores, but that has nothing to do with most women. Many women spend too much time and energy worrying about what others think - especially men - and not enough time engaging in activities that enlarge their brains and shrink their negative opinions of themselves. Do what men do - build your world around yourself.
The new SI issue should be a brown-cover display in stores, but that has nothing to do with most women. Many women spend too much time and energy worrying about what others think - especially men - and not enough time engaging in activities that enlarge their brains and shrink their negative opinions of themselves. Do what men do - build your world around yourself.
27
Just another version of telling women what they "should" be doing. Why not keep it to yourself. We're fine just as we are.
3
In 1841, John Ruskin (1819-1900) was inspired to write "The King of the Golden River" for Effie Gray: she was twelve years old. In 1848, she married him and "... he had imagined women were quite different to what he saw I was, and that the reason he did not make me his Wife was because he was disgusted with my person the first evening 10th April." Thank goodness, she eventually shed Ruskin, married Millais and had eight children. Can it be that the previouslyl-ridiculous Ruskin is finally finding companionship and sympathy?
15
Jonathan Swift wrote a great satiric epic poem of an idealistic lover who sneaks into his beloved's boudoir and is progressively more disgusted to discover the many ways in which his ethereal angel is mere clay, not only enhanced by numerous artifices, but (gasp!) only human. (The hysterical climax, alas, is a couplet that can't be printed in the NYT.)
His poem ends: 'I pity wretched Strephon blind/To all the charms of female kind;/Should I the queen of love refuse,/Because she rose from stinking ooze?/ .../When Celia in her glory shows,/If Strephon would but stop his nose/(Who now so impiously blasphemes/Her ointments, daubs, and paints and creams,/Her washes, slops, and every clout,/With which he makes so foul a rout) /He soon would learn to think like me,/And bless his ravished sight to see/Such order from confusion sprung,/Such gaudy tulips raised from dung."
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/180934
Similar to the sentiments so well voiced by Meghan Trainor:
'I see the magazines/Workin' that photoshop/We know that [deleted] ain't real/C'mon now make it stop/ .../ I'm here to tell you every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top.'
His poem ends: 'I pity wretched Strephon blind/To all the charms of female kind;/Should I the queen of love refuse,/Because she rose from stinking ooze?/ .../When Celia in her glory shows,/If Strephon would but stop his nose/(Who now so impiously blasphemes/Her ointments, daubs, and paints and creams,/Her washes, slops, and every clout,/With which he makes so foul a rout) /He soon would learn to think like me,/And bless his ravished sight to see/Such order from confusion sprung,/Such gaudy tulips raised from dung."
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/180934
Similar to the sentiments so well voiced by Meghan Trainor:
'I see the magazines/Workin' that photoshop/We know that [deleted] ain't real/C'mon now make it stop/ .../ I'm here to tell you every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top.'
2
IDK, maybe I am just to old school. I prefer my wife ( and when I was single, my girlfriends) to be au naturel. Why mess up perfection? And silicone enhancements- the same. I truly believe that God created perfection (at least from this male's perspective) and nothing can improve on that. Some commenters have called this current trend, rather pedophilia-like. I could not agree more. I just believe a woman should enjoy all of her body as it is. SI or 5th Avenue should not dictate. Besides, can't you just picture these dudes on the other side of the camera? My image is a fat, bald, socially-inept, guy only wishing in his wildest dream he could even score with any female, not to mention this idealized, unreal version of the female form.
20
And then there are the side effects: failed procedures, maintainece, big expenses, side effects.
4
Well I've always found au naturel to be plenty appealing. I think my own wife, in her unsculpted, untouched beauty, to be pretty darn sexy. She has great skin for one thing and a pretty face. But the fact is I'm also turned on by how smart and talented she is. It's why I married her.
What a concept. Are women doing this for men or for other women?
What a concept. Are women doing this for men or for other women?
30
I agree with Siobhan's and Linda's comments, especially with Linda's point about heels. I know they're supposed to look sexy, and that the stretched-out leg that results is supposed to advertise availability, and that they give the walking wounded what Bobby Vee was singing about in "Poetry in Motion" when I was younger, and still listened to pop lyrics: "Poetry in motion, see her gentle sway; a wave out on the ocean could never move that way."
What I didn't understand then, and still don't today, is why women wear heels at all, or "rip... public hair out by the roots with wax." Sounds barbaric to me. I know, I know, SI and its readers want all women to look like 16-year-olds, except with bigger breasts -- it strikes me that this is part of a reversion to high school values that make the jock and cheerleader more desirable than the nerd. Yes, I was a nerd in high school. I didn't care about sports then, and I don't now. Except possibly what Siobhan points out, that these illustrated women are "sports" in the biological sense, a mutation, a freak of nature.
It's too damn bad that men are willing to entertain themselves with fantasies about such mutations, whether genetic or editorial.
What I didn't understand then, and still don't today, is why women wear heels at all, or "rip... public hair out by the roots with wax." Sounds barbaric to me. I know, I know, SI and its readers want all women to look like 16-year-olds, except with bigger breasts -- it strikes me that this is part of a reversion to high school values that make the jock and cheerleader more desirable than the nerd. Yes, I was a nerd in high school. I didn't care about sports then, and I don't now. Except possibly what Siobhan points out, that these illustrated women are "sports" in the biological sense, a mutation, a freak of nature.
It's too damn bad that men are willing to entertain themselves with fantasies about such mutations, whether genetic or editorial.
27
I am a physician and see many women who are developing methcillin resistant Staph infections MRSA from all the shaving in the pubic area and now I am seeing men shaving with subsequent infections We are only at the beginning of this further epidemic of Staph infections from this type of shaving
87
I don't think it's so much what she's exposed but how she's posed, and that the pose suggest she's about to reveal more. This is, by the way, not unlike similarly provocative poses that male models add to their portfolios these days.
In fact, I'd bet is was inspired by them.
In fact, I'd bet is was inspired by them.
7
What makes this even worse is that Ms. Davis is the girlfriend of beloved Yankee Derek Jeter. Women who idolize this supposedly all American 40 year old will now think that there is even more they have to "fix" to be worthy os such a man. never mind the age difference and all that means in terms of men's ability to age gracefully versus women's need to try and look ridiculously young at all costs. Look how Hillary Clinton is demonized over her looks - something that another brilliant woman Eleanor Roosevelt also endured. Brains? Independent thinking? Those can't be added or reconstructed.
30
As a heterosexual man with a healthy sexual appetite, I can't even fathom the thinking that would make a male mind care about changing this landscape.
But apparently there are absurd depths of female insecurity, and mediocre dust motes of shallow men not worth any woman's time who give voice to insane demands.
I refuse to acknowledge the existence of people this puerile.
I will continue on with my life pretending that this level of shallowness and insecurity does not exist, thank you very much.
But apparently there are absurd depths of female insecurity, and mediocre dust motes of shallow men not worth any woman's time who give voice to insane demands.
I refuse to acknowledge the existence of people this puerile.
I will continue on with my life pretending that this level of shallowness and insecurity does not exist, thank you very much.
23
Part of the issue is that if someone were to lighten his or her hair upstairs, then it is problematic if the downstairs does not match in color. The easiest solution is waxing or electrolysis. So I guess it begins with people's desire to be blonde.
1
I have reached the delicious age where I could not care less what the latest stupid message is for women and their bodies. I am comfortable in my skin. I am probably invisible and anonymous to most others when I leave my home, and that suits me fine. I live my life without stressing in the slightest about the latest SI cover or silly body-fashion trend.
30
I cannot shake the association of pubic shaving with avoiding pubic lice. That kills the porn implication asap.
Men who seek such reductive quals are out there and good to avoid. One rejected me for not having the "perfect manicure" (protects them from rejection, eh). Then that guy in the article with the young thing in his lap. Really creepy.
Men who seek such reductive quals are out there and good to avoid. One rejected me for not having the "perfect manicure" (protects them from rejection, eh). Then that guy in the article with the young thing in his lap. Really creepy.
18
Well said!
3
It is typically the people who do not have the popular, attractive features so often promoted that criticize those very features. If a woman wants less body hair, or to have a nice "bikini bridge", or a nice "thigh gap", why criticize her? People always prefer to look at beauty rather than the alternative ... it is not only a product of marketing, but of human nature. If some people work hard to enhance their beauty, more power to them. It is always easier to sit on a sofa and eat chocolate bars and munch on chips, getting fat while "blaming" others for being beautiful.
3
The point isn't about criticizing those who wish to attain beauty. The point is that beauty is subjective and the people who are creating the common tastes of today (and yesterday) are the ones selling the cures. I don't know I would go as far to say this is a new problem but the immediacy of social media trends and the desire to get on board with the next big thing supposedly has been fueling the speed in which these new trends come to light.
8
I understand what you are saying ... I just disagree with your categorization of the situation as a "problem". I would say that it is more a fact of life ... not necessarily good or bad.
If anyone things any of this "body on display" is empowering to women, they are nuts. It is the same old game--women as sex objects that really shouldn't say no. Its time to wake up. Men and their "just give it to me" attitudes have taken over the empowering women movement and made it into a sex for sale, cheap movement at the same time women who have miscarriages are being arrested and investigated. Its all part of the same culture and its wrong.
9
The SI cover was inevitable. It is as if Disney started making porn. The person displayed does resembles a human woman, albeit one who was modified sufficiently (by either the surgeon or the photoshop technician) to make her a caricature of femininity.
14
The author is concerned that " the shot has left women and girls with another raft of insecurities," but vaginal reconstruction seems to be the only treatment she really is concerned with. This is where she draws her line in the sand. So she approves of everything else. That is not empowering to women at all.
1
Read her article again, Martina. She never says she approves of everything else, and makes it clear that she disapproves of everything BEHIND that line in the sand. What I found interesting was her euphemism for her boyfriend - "my gentleman caller..."
4
Several months ago on an escalator there was a young woman ahead of me with unshaven legs. This was not golden fuzzy leg hair - it was black, with hairs nearly an inch long. Not only was it not repulsive, it was interesting because in our culture it seemed akin to a statement. I wanted to know who she was - this woman of courage and integrity. I wasn't so rude as to approach her, but my admiration for her act of defiance has rendered her the most memorable stranger of the year.
27
She may have been from Europe. The last time i was over there women as a whole did not shave, pluck, all that much. The beach scene was different too. And you didn't have to look like a model to go topless or even entirely naked. Age too was not the issue as it is over here.
2
Great article, however it misses the point that vanity is a big part of our psyche.
The desire to fix or to improve our looks is as old as history.
So if someone wants to wax, tuck or trim, that is great; looking like
a Neanderthal is passe.
Just keep focused on a healthy approach and moderation, and don't forget that your
emotional being needs attention and nourishment. Meaningful friendships and
empathy towards others is what makes you beautiful every day!
The desire to fix or to improve our looks is as old as history.
So if someone wants to wax, tuck or trim, that is great; looking like
a Neanderthal is passe.
Just keep focused on a healthy approach and moderation, and don't forget that your
emotional being needs attention and nourishment. Meaningful friendships and
empathy towards others is what makes you beautiful every day!
4
I'm sensing a creeping (or stampeding) culture of blame everywhere I turn. Blame the police, blame the government, blame media, blame the bankers, and on and on and on. Indeed there are times when something really needs to be fixed and then measures should be directed in the appropriate direction. But this article just panders to the blame culture - "women are expected to subdue..." What? I am a woman and I do pretty much whatever I want. It's walking up a mountain alone or in a parking lot at night where I feel nervous and that's not right. But I'm not going to let anyone tell me what needs to be shaved or what I should wear or how large the gap is between my thighs. Come on!
8
True, but count the many times you have to explain and even justify yourself when you do "pretty much whatever you want."
I am not a woman but I suspect most women simply don't care to shave every week just to please someone that "likes that way."...
I am not a woman but I suspect most women simply don't care to shave every week just to please someone that "likes that way."...
1
Well if the blame fits….
1
I applaud the writer's sentiments, but it's necessary to point out that the editor of the swimsuit issue (MJ Day) is a woman, not a man. Many, if not most, of the insanely unrealistic standards of beauty that the media propagates are created by women, directed at other women. The culture of heterosexual men isn't based around policing women's body shapes. They don't have to; heterosexual women do it for them.
248
You must be, frankly, delusional. Men crave young women and women must compete, if they want men, by constant diligence towards their appearance. What a waste of life and talent!
3
N/A; And WHY do women do this? Because men have expectations of "beauty" and acceptability. Women want mates, and are bamboozled into modifications to try to insure getting one....aided by the intense marketing and advertising (which IS still a male dominated field). It is the same reason that women subjugate themselves in relationships, put up with abuse (verbal, emotional - physical somewhat less) at home and at their jobs. There IS inequality for women....did the old man who had the young girl sitting on his lap in the waiting room have HIS body adjusted to make it more pleasing to her? And women, though in their youth, often are most attracted to the young stud, are far more accepting of who a man is vs. what he looks like physically.
4
You write that "The culture of heterosexual men isn't based around policing women's body shapes. They don't have to; heterosexual women do it for them." I agree that many women do as you say but I think that is because for so many, many decades the male perspective has been predominant. That typical perspective regarding women's' roles has been instilled into female thinking for so long that many now see themselves through a male viewpoint. I think it can also be easily argued that males have been subject to the same process, leaving us to play our structured role as well.
3
Sex sells. It sells ads and ads about everything else. Sex sells booze, drugs (illicit or not), gym fees, guns, jewelry, violence and war. The issue is not whether women can attain what men an women know is a distorted and absurd standard of "beauty." The issue is not whether we are a prudish society. We are not, since we are literally flooded in sex-driven narratives before birth. The issue is why do we, women included, consciously consume it all, at the tune of billions of dollars every year? Otherwise, we would not have beauty pageants, cheerleaders, hooters, hunks, jocks, johns, pimps, strippers, bachelor/bachelorette parties, spring breaks to go wild, fantasy cruises, and viagra. But then what would we do with all the boredom, time, and money? Have sex?
8
Many SI swimsuit photos are so doctored as to be laughable. If you look at the cover of just 3 years ago, it shows 3 or 4 women all with their rear ends pushed and their upper bodies twisting around to look, that they look like female satyrs. I kid you not: the effect is unsettling, if not a little disturbing.
Needless to say, this is not a topic I give much thought to, particularly at this stage of my life. I almost feel sorry for any woman who derives her sense of self esteem from body parts that are largely genetically determined but perpetually found wanting.
I'm even sorrier for young women like the one you described in the waiting room of your (ahem) laser beautification center. To have her boyfriend objectify her further by paying for procedures she likely never would have dreamed of, had it not been for the fantasies and largesse of lover boy is truly sad.
I had a friend in NJ--a lovely woman--who underwent a breast enlargement in the 80s at the behest of her then boyfriend, who had abusive tendencies to begin with. Her self esteem was so poor that this woman--independent in very facet of her life--felt compelled to follow her boyfriend's directives. After they split up, she was left with the medical fallout from breast implants that had to be removed.
The whole episode was so sordid in the rehearing, that I could only wonder: how many other women get talked into gratuitous, often dangerous, procedures they feel is the only way to please their men?
Needless to say, this is not a topic I give much thought to, particularly at this stage of my life. I almost feel sorry for any woman who derives her sense of self esteem from body parts that are largely genetically determined but perpetually found wanting.
I'm even sorrier for young women like the one you described in the waiting room of your (ahem) laser beautification center. To have her boyfriend objectify her further by paying for procedures she likely never would have dreamed of, had it not been for the fantasies and largesse of lover boy is truly sad.
I had a friend in NJ--a lovely woman--who underwent a breast enlargement in the 80s at the behest of her then boyfriend, who had abusive tendencies to begin with. Her self esteem was so poor that this woman--independent in very facet of her life--felt compelled to follow her boyfriend's directives. After they split up, she was left with the medical fallout from breast implants that had to be removed.
The whole episode was so sordid in the rehearing, that I could only wonder: how many other women get talked into gratuitous, often dangerous, procedures they feel is the only way to please their men?
25
When I was a very young woman, I was mesmerized by the beautiful models on magazine covers. As a girl, I did not think anyone was more beautiful than Brooke, although Christy Brinkley came close; and in my early 20s, I could not get enough of Cindy. I was unaware that photography could be manipulated. Me, and other girls or young women, were vulnerable to destructive scrutiny and were highly impressionable. Girls today are no different. Technology today is powerfully changed and advancing. It is more crucial than ever that mothers and fathers raise our daughters and our sons to recognize that what we see truly does not exist.
10
I once talked to Christie Brinkley inflight. (It was when she was married to Billy Joel--1980's?) She was absolutely gorgeous and friendly too. She was a natural beauty!
1
(Sigh) My mom worried about her undercarriage to the extent that it affected her health. It would do American women, and men, to do the same. Data that is now a couple years old indicates that the BMI is now grossly underestimating the rate of obesity because we have not only gotten fatter, we have lost large amounts of muscle since the '70s. We are currently approaching two-thirds of the nation being obese.
So, by all means fret, sculpt, improve your diet and get some exercise. If being attractive in some special place is the driving force, go ahead and embrace it. Under all that, trimming a stone or two of flab will knock down the risk (or certainty, as we now stand) of heart disease, diabetes, stroke, cancer and other less-than-lovely ways to die.
So, by all means fret, sculpt, improve your diet and get some exercise. If being attractive in some special place is the driving force, go ahead and embrace it. Under all that, trimming a stone or two of flab will knock down the risk (or certainty, as we now stand) of heart disease, diabetes, stroke, cancer and other less-than-lovely ways to die.
3
In the brave new absurd obscene world, here is one area where equality is becoming reality. The demeaning dictates imposed on women are increasingly imposed on men. Hair removal, augmentation of this and that, 'fixing' the other thing, slimming here, extension there. Men are well on their way to being just as mindlessly slavish to pathetic 'body fashion.' (We've been mindlessly slavish to plenty of other things for ages. Just think of ties. What possible rationale is there for choking off oxygen and blood supply to the brain — unless it is to bring everyone done to the level of the brainless fashionistas who come up with these gimmicks in the first place or to ensure that office automatons can't actually think?)
The irony: Nudists, baring all, have done away with more of fashion slavery than all those fretting about what to wear, or what to bare. (More, not all.)
The irony: Nudists, baring all, have done away with more of fashion slavery than all those fretting about what to wear, or what to bare. (More, not all.)
3
Forty years ago I was working in a film cutting room. On the wall was a poster of a blonde woman her dress flying up - a copy of that famous Marilyn Monroe pic.
She seas totally surrounded by a halo of arrows pointing to all her body parts with captions listing all the kinds of products which could be sold to correct her defects. (Remember cancer inducing vaginal deodorants?) It was PR for a male owned 'women's magazine' called Cleo, which prided itself on male centrefolds & sexual liberation.
With the benefit of much hindsight, I no longer see women as 'equal' or 'liberated' or anything else but even more vulnerable victims of almost infinite variations of male aggression & abuse.
She seas totally surrounded by a halo of arrows pointing to all her body parts with captions listing all the kinds of products which could be sold to correct her defects. (Remember cancer inducing vaginal deodorants?) It was PR for a male owned 'women's magazine' called Cleo, which prided itself on male centrefolds & sexual liberation.
With the benefit of much hindsight, I no longer see women as 'equal' or 'liberated' or anything else but even more vulnerable victims of almost infinite variations of male aggression & abuse.
7
This is so on the money. Yes, it seems now that very nook and cranny of a woman's body needs to be groomed and "improved" in some way. Here's my take on this phenomenon:
1) Now that women have become more empowered and powerful in various realms, it's interesting that current beauty standards idealize infantilizing women's bodies with pre-pubescent hairlessness and curve-lessness - except of course, for surgically enhanced, gravity-defying, plastic-looking breasts;
2) There's also the clear disgust with flesh - so of course, women's bodies must be as firm, tight and hairless as statues. Flesh should never seem at all "fleshy." Our Puritan heritage clashing with our sex-obsessed culture.
3) Porn has become so pervasive in our culture that the way women look and behave in porn has become our norm in the real world
4) Together with all the above is the misogyny that's become rife in our culture. Sadly, it seems many young women are internalizing this misogyny into self-hatred or at least, hatred of their bodies.
5) Most of the women I see at the gym or running, including the new mothers doing their stroller workouts, seem so desperate - as if they're in a grim life-or-death battle.
6) All that money spent on surgery, lasering, and other expensive beauty treatments is money not used for savings, investments - or even pure enjoyment.
1) Now that women have become more empowered and powerful in various realms, it's interesting that current beauty standards idealize infantilizing women's bodies with pre-pubescent hairlessness and curve-lessness - except of course, for surgically enhanced, gravity-defying, plastic-looking breasts;
2) There's also the clear disgust with flesh - so of course, women's bodies must be as firm, tight and hairless as statues. Flesh should never seem at all "fleshy." Our Puritan heritage clashing with our sex-obsessed culture.
3) Porn has become so pervasive in our culture that the way women look and behave in porn has become our norm in the real world
4) Together with all the above is the misogyny that's become rife in our culture. Sadly, it seems many young women are internalizing this misogyny into self-hatred or at least, hatred of their bodies.
5) Most of the women I see at the gym or running, including the new mothers doing their stroller workouts, seem so desperate - as if they're in a grim life-or-death battle.
6) All that money spent on surgery, lasering, and other expensive beauty treatments is money not used for savings, investments - or even pure enjoyment.
40
I can remember going to Europe in the 1980s for the summer and feeling liberated because almost no one shaved their legs or under their arms! And when the outlandish fashions of the past were widely dismissed even in the US as unnatural. Being clean and tidy and attractive is one thing, but spending so much time and money on alterations to one's body that very few people will even see is just another way in which the 1%, in beauty if not financial terms, now rule.
8
This 'fastidiousness' about eradicating women's public hair is troubling when one asks oneself what's driving it. The first thought that crops to mind is uncomfortable--that men are excited by prepubescent girls. Prepubescent girls with large breasts is some kind of having-it-both-ways Nirvhana.
The second thought is more biblical; that women are inherently dirty. We must erase anything that interferes with our becoming a top-to-toe expanse that is smooth, shiny and spotlessly clean. Will bald heads be the next erotica?
The second thought is more biblical; that women are inherently dirty. We must erase anything that interferes with our becoming a top-to-toe expanse that is smooth, shiny and spotlessly clean. Will bald heads be the next erotica?
32
A brave response to a ubiquitous problem. But we too have a choice (as women). Hopefully those more educated and evolved will transcend this cosmetic crazed society and see each other for who they are. Great industry for more plastic surgeons creating more plastic people. With everyone looking 'soooo good,' where's the mystery of individuality gone?
8
I fear that the trend is more unnerving than depicted and accounted. It seems that Holllywood starlets started the practice and they used clever display techniques like getting "out-of-low-slung cars in miniskirts". How else might a beautiful celebrity differentiate herself but to remove the last vestiges of cover (including no underware) and display a nude, bald pelvic floor. Paparaazz photography is always at the ready to lionize the fad and memorialize the peeking. Natural women might ignore the trend and keep things in place and enjoy life without abnormal psychology.
5
It's a great article, and shame on anyone who characterized it as prudish. Sexual revolutions aside (and having lived through it, I'm not sure it was all that revolutionary compared to the more modern level of shenanigans that characterize modern love), what is going to be left to unveil? I think all we're ultimately doing is desexualizing all that was once bathed in erotic mystery. And anyone who had a plastic Barbie doll recognizes where they've seen that mons pubis before...
12
Capitalism chases profits by finding a market and, for a price, exploiting it.
Somewhere along the line women became consumed by their looks and sexual appeal, opening the door for capitalism to do what it does best, exploit a market and which it has done here to the tune of multiple billions of dollars annually by employing psychological warfare in marketing and advertising...convincing 'the mark' (women) there is something wrong that needs fixing (in order for them to have a chance to succeed as a woman) and "this product" is the only thing in the world that offers salvation from the embarrassment of xyz and the chance at being fulfilled as a woman...
Good luck convincing women not to take counsel of their fears.
Somewhere along the line women became consumed by their looks and sexual appeal, opening the door for capitalism to do what it does best, exploit a market and which it has done here to the tune of multiple billions of dollars annually by employing psychological warfare in marketing and advertising...convincing 'the mark' (women) there is something wrong that needs fixing (in order for them to have a chance to succeed as a woman) and "this product" is the only thing in the world that offers salvation from the embarrassment of xyz and the chance at being fulfilled as a woman...
Good luck convincing women not to take counsel of their fears.
2
I resent the accusations leveled by several comments equating the shaving of women's pubic areas with a disposition towards pedophilia on the part of men. My wife and I regularly indulge in oral sex and we have agreed that this is made much less messy by keeping things clean in our respective pubic areas. This is a simple courtesy which enhances our respective enjoyment of this act. I don't doubt that there are men out there who may enjoy shaved pubic areas for questionable reasons, but please don't paint all men in such a negative light with the broad brushstrokes of your stereotyping. A little research would yield innumerable articles supporting the fact that there has been a trend for quite some time for men and women to groom their pubic areas for the benefit of their sexual partner.
1
"Grooming" is different than paying for painful and costly wax removal of every spec of fuzz.
6
"Keeping things clean in our respective pubic areas." Ever hear of soap?
18
Let's be clear: this preference for pubic-hairless, skeletal women is really about two things: pedophilia and misogyny. It's about men (and some women) who can't deal with the true physicality or emotionality of adult women, and so seek to infantilize them.
Thirty-plus years ago, second wave feminism worked hard to wrest women from this kind of objectification. But with the mainstreaming of porn, and the distortions of photoshop, many young, presumably educated women, are mindlessly embracing it, and calling it a choice. Please. No psychologically healthy person makes a choice to starve or mutilate herself, and admit or not, that's exactly what many of these behaviors and procedures have devolved into.
Thirty-plus years ago, second wave feminism worked hard to wrest women from this kind of objectification. But with the mainstreaming of porn, and the distortions of photoshop, many young, presumably educated women, are mindlessly embracing it, and calling it a choice. Please. No psychologically healthy person makes a choice to starve or mutilate herself, and admit or not, that's exactly what many of these behaviors and procedures have devolved into.
132
Woman buys a women's magazine, edited by women, with impossible looking woman on the pages, and tries to live up to those woman's standards. Exactly how are men invloved?
As an artist/crafter I am repeated conscious of the Gold Mean or plainly a ratio determining proportions of associated parts of a whole. Body shape idealism in our culture can be traced back to the Da Vinci drawing of Vitruvian Man. Wik: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vitruvian_Man. It's quite a rigorous criteria.
Realistically, our obsession with the ideal classic form, has garnered some outlandish exaggerations. If I had my druthers I'd prefer the concept that a beautiful mind informs the form contemplated. The contemplation of a beautiful mind is informs reciprocally. This notion allows for beauty to be held throughout a complete lifetime. Truth and Beauty are co-referents. We are born with the truth. The beauty part is conditional, not on rigorous externalities, but rather on existential decisions. Obsessing about getting a piece of work just right sometimes gets frustrating. Frustration is not beautiful.
Realistically, our obsession with the ideal classic form, has garnered some outlandish exaggerations. If I had my druthers I'd prefer the concept that a beautiful mind informs the form contemplated. The contemplation of a beautiful mind is informs reciprocally. This notion allows for beauty to be held throughout a complete lifetime. Truth and Beauty are co-referents. We are born with the truth. The beauty part is conditional, not on rigorous externalities, but rather on existential decisions. Obsessing about getting a piece of work just right sometimes gets frustrating. Frustration is not beautiful.
2
Once again an article about the hardships of being a woman that totally ignores an added burden of some of us: Skin Color.
Wake me up when as you gloss over archives of Sports Illustrated covers, you notice the lack of women of color, save for one or two. So imagine with our unmanicured private parts etc, we must now deal with being non-white. Most magazines have dealt with that problem by bleaching our faces or simply never having us on their covers because apparently non-black women can't identify with us, but we do. (Then once we publish magazines targeted at us as a solution, we are called separatist.)
By the looks of this and countless other feminist narratives that only speak on gender inequality and not race, I believe the magazines. As a black woman, even if I had the stomach and pruned private parts, I would probably not get as much love as many white women who don't have either.
So this article doesn't touch my soul. My mother and her mother didn't even have time to worry about how the world may view their sculpted figures, they were too busy being made to feel ashamed of something they could not hide: their skin tone.
Wake me up when as you gloss over archives of Sports Illustrated covers, you notice the lack of women of color, save for one or two. So imagine with our unmanicured private parts etc, we must now deal with being non-white. Most magazines have dealt with that problem by bleaching our faces or simply never having us on their covers because apparently non-black women can't identify with us, but we do. (Then once we publish magazines targeted at us as a solution, we are called separatist.)
By the looks of this and countless other feminist narratives that only speak on gender inequality and not race, I believe the magazines. As a black woman, even if I had the stomach and pruned private parts, I would probably not get as much love as many white women who don't have either.
So this article doesn't touch my soul. My mother and her mother didn't even have time to worry about how the world may view their sculpted figures, they were too busy being made to feel ashamed of something they could not hide: their skin tone.
33
I believe that ALL women are made to feel ashamed of something they can not hide: their gender.
7
As any real man will tell you, women are beautiful in their natural state: lumps, bumps, hairs and all. Unfortunately, certain influences in our culture have discovered that there is good money to be made in promoting an illusion of women as pre-pubescent adults with clear skin, blue eyes, a size 2 waist and less body hair than the average alopecia sufferer. As if things in our world aren't difficult enough for women, this cynical glamour can and usually does weaken their already shaky self-esteem to the point where they feel inadequate.
201
European men make such good lovers because they love women because they're women....fur, scent and all....
8
All of this will continue until women wise up and simply turn away. We all have bodies which are nature/God-given. They look different. We are the fools when we let someone with an agenda tell us that one type is the 'right' type and that all others are defective.
I remember at a thin time in my life walking down the street behind 3 slim women all of whom wore jeans. The three all looked vastly different with only one having a triangle shape (narrow waist, wider bottom), which was the shape I craved (I come from a long line of butt-less women and am not pear shaped) and assumed to be the most desired. For a bit I found that sight of those 3 women depressing because it showed me that no amount of effort on my part was going to change my basic shape into another. What I needed to reshape was my thinking, which I did.
Let's stop letting retailers and hawkers of 'fashion' magazines and sellers of gym memberships tell us that our bodies are not right. Life is too short for such nonsense, sisters.
I remember at a thin time in my life walking down the street behind 3 slim women all of whom wore jeans. The three all looked vastly different with only one having a triangle shape (narrow waist, wider bottom), which was the shape I craved (I come from a long line of butt-less women and am not pear shaped) and assumed to be the most desired. For a bit I found that sight of those 3 women depressing because it showed me that no amount of effort on my part was going to change my basic shape into another. What I needed to reshape was my thinking, which I did.
Let's stop letting retailers and hawkers of 'fashion' magazines and sellers of gym memberships tell us that our bodies are not right. Life is too short for such nonsense, sisters.
200
"What I needed to reshape was my thinking, which I did." Beautiful!
7
Here’s the usual problematic line that you expect to find in these clever complaint essays.
"Now, each year brings a new term for an unruly bit of body that women are expected to subdue through diet and exercise."
The sly passive voice of course allows the writer to be evasive about who should be called to account for the madness she writes about.
"Now, each year brings a new term for an unruly bit of body that women are expected to subdue through diet and exercise."
The sly passive voice of course allows the writer to be evasive about who should be called to account for the madness she writes about.
13
The "usual problematic line"? The bikini line?
Ahhhhmmm.
"As usual delicate flowers like Robert who don't get the joke will protest too much."
Feel better? Gotsa proper noun.
Ahhhhmmm.
"As usual delicate flowers like Robert who don't get the joke will protest too much."
Feel better? Gotsa proper noun.
26
Grow up and acknowledge his point.
2
NatWidg
As a grown up I see Robert's infantile inchoate point and bullying, which I expressed by my sarcasm. Now I see an underling who does not get it.
Here is a clue: the writer wrote what she chose to write from her POV and did it well. Robert chose to prissily decree she should have written on his issue. Robert, and you, believe you have a greater truth that subsumes hers to which she must submit. You do not. You have a clueless greater ignorance. Now acknowledge my point.
As a grown up I see Robert's infantile inchoate point and bullying, which I expressed by my sarcasm. Now I see an underling who does not get it.
Here is a clue: the writer wrote what she chose to write from her POV and did it well. Robert chose to prissily decree she should have written on his issue. Robert, and you, believe you have a greater truth that subsumes hers to which she must submit. You do not. You have a clueless greater ignorance. Now acknowledge my point.
6
Too bad you missed the sexual revolution. I'm 73, & you seem awfully prudish to me.
8
What does this have to do with sexual revolution, Jenifer? I'm 70, and I lived through the sexual revolution and the women's movement. In those days, women were taught that they are okay just the way they are, which brought about more enjoyment of sex for women. Today, women's bodies are more objectified than ever, and the more women are told their bodies aren't perfect enough, the more self-conscious they are about about taking their clothes off and exposing their imperfect selves. For many women we have gone back to the custom of having sex with the lights off.
32
Geez, way to support a sister, oh you giant of the Sexual Revolution.
For me, part of said revolution included at the notion that women owned their bodies, and I believe that may have led to displays of hairy pits and burning of bras.
Point being.... There is nothing prudish at raising the flag about the fact we are moving further and further from those ideals. Hannah Davis' exposed parts are meant to evoke the look of a child. Whether we like it or not, this now will intriduce yet another expected and accepted standard of beauty for women....especially young women who are most prone to that pressure. Meantime, can't say the same scrutiny and focus is being applied to men's comparables.
I still remember a critical comment from a boyfriend about my untrimmed nether regions, twenty years ago. I didn't watch porn, had no idea that there were some things as landing strips but I do remember the humiliation of having somehow missed a social cue. Years later I still feel the anger that he felt entitled to criticize me that way and I let him.
Bravo JW for raising this.
For me, part of said revolution included at the notion that women owned their bodies, and I believe that may have led to displays of hairy pits and burning of bras.
Point being.... There is nothing prudish at raising the flag about the fact we are moving further and further from those ideals. Hannah Davis' exposed parts are meant to evoke the look of a child. Whether we like it or not, this now will intriduce yet another expected and accepted standard of beauty for women....especially young women who are most prone to that pressure. Meantime, can't say the same scrutiny and focus is being applied to men's comparables.
I still remember a critical comment from a boyfriend about my untrimmed nether regions, twenty years ago. I didn't watch porn, had no idea that there were some things as landing strips but I do remember the humiliation of having somehow missed a social cue. Years later I still feel the anger that he felt entitled to criticize me that way and I let him.
Bravo JW for raising this.
21
Sad to see that you missed the other revolutions that were taking place at the same time. The article isn't about limiting sexual expression, it's about the continued objectification of women. Remember that revolution? It's not over.
20
One day in high school, our gym instructor made us sit down on the basketball court so he could tell us, "Some of you guys have the abdominal muscles of a five-year-old girl."
His aesthetic may have been different from SI, but I think it's the same infantile micro-fixation on body parts that helps propel several different industries and the continual tide of new silly obsessions referred to in this column. It's also basic to pornographic visualization - focusing on sections of the human form, rather than the entire human. My next handy buzzword, of course, is "commodification" - the desperate search for something concrete that we can improve (by spending money) and thus hike our personal value in the market.
This fractionating of the self, turned inward - by men and by women, against the body and toward one's inner life - is the internalization of criticism and disrespect, and the opposite of actual understanding.
His aesthetic may have been different from SI, but I think it's the same infantile micro-fixation on body parts that helps propel several different industries and the continual tide of new silly obsessions referred to in this column. It's also basic to pornographic visualization - focusing on sections of the human form, rather than the entire human. My next handy buzzword, of course, is "commodification" - the desperate search for something concrete that we can improve (by spending money) and thus hike our personal value in the market.
This fractionating of the self, turned inward - by men and by women, against the body and toward one's inner life - is the internalization of criticism and disrespect, and the opposite of actual understanding.
104
Your gym instructor didn't reference the abdominal muscles of a five year old BOY. Why was that, do you think? Because it was meant to be a put down to be compared to a girl. Girls, females, women: just not good enough. Something to be disparaged, ridiculed, controlled. Bodies not good enough, hence all the focus on surgery and thighs that don't touch, not good enough at work, hence unequal pay for equal work, constrained as vessels for bearing children (anti choice), because controlling reproduction is the mightiest form of power over the female of any species.
I hope the young woman sitting on the lap (really, in a doctor's office) of the older perv wised up eventually.
I hope the young woman sitting on the lap (really, in a doctor's office) of the older perv wised up eventually.
26
What would the consumer economy be without “infantile micro-fixations”, whether on the body or other things; how would marketers survive without “pornographic visualization” and, of course, “commodification”? Having saturated the market for useful consumer goods, capitalism inevitably turns to increasingly obscure, arcane, and preposterous “micro-fixations”… Excellent comment!
5
This is one rat race I am not entering.
Enough.
Dim the lights if you don't like it.
Enough.
Dim the lights if you don't like it.
241
I'm with you on this one, all cats are gray in the dark.
5
The image in the second paragraph, of the pretty girl sitting on the man's lap in the waiting room, (rather repulsively) illustrates one reason why the fetishization of hairlessness continues. Men like it. I really, really don't want to speculate why because it grosses me out, but alas, women have been removing hair for centuries. Sure, it didn't really take off until skirts got shorter and companies realized they had a nice big marketable product to sell, and it seems there was a brief hairy moment in the 70s where everyone let their freak flag fly - but like lots of awesome things, the 80s killed it. So, whatever. Go on. Seriously I can't get past this public lap-sitting thing.
132
"With hard-core pornography available to anyone with a laptop and a credit card...."
Never mind the credit card. Free hard-core porn is all over the web.
Never mind the credit card. Free hard-core porn is all over the web.
31
A laptop is not needed either.
1
According to a friend, right?
4
Blame Hollywood and their obsession over superficiality and appearance. And never forget that Hollywood is a major donor to the democratic party, which makes the "war on women" so absurd.
20
This is probably wasted on most NYT readers, but I get it. I doubt if either party has a war on women. Only if the women allow it and continue to fall for and put up with that kind of silliness.
Why would you blame Hollywood, they only put out what the public wants to see. The blame is on us as a society for putting up, and encouraging it.
1
I agree we have to draw a line. Unnecessary surgery is something I won't do, especially to please someone else. But it's a very competitive dating world out there, especially as we women get older...So I completely understand the laser hair removal, etc.
9
>
The human organism cannot accept its creatureliness, a residual side effect of a failed or incomplete castration complex, when the small child sees that Mommy is not a goddess but just another animal. It could be worse, Oedipus tore out his eyes.
The human organism cannot accept its creatureliness, a residual side effect of a failed or incomplete castration complex, when the small child sees that Mommy is not a goddess but just another animal. It could be worse, Oedipus tore out his eyes.
9
Good try but the article seems to miss the most important part. When a woman (or man) shaves off their pubic hair what do they resemble? A child. In other words, the cultural message is that woman should look more like girls. In other words, pedophilia. Add to that the presumptive immaturity of the Sports Illustrated editors and the model, and you have moved even closer to pedophilia.
509
along with men who want women to sit on their laps in public places such as waiting rooms.
13
That is the first thing I thought about when reading this article. There is something rather creepy about any man who seems to thinks a woman's "ladypart" should be clear cut.
I'm wondering how men would feel if women told them that they, too, would like to see a neat and clean "manpart" just like their brother's was when he was 7 yrs old? That would be an interesting conversation.
I'm wondering how men would feel if women told them that they, too, would like to see a neat and clean "manpart" just like their brother's was when he was 7 yrs old? That would be an interesting conversation.
15
True for women, but also for men. Have you noticed all those hairless male chests lately?
6
"With hard-core pornography available to anyone with a laptop and a credit card..." Update: Hard-core porn now available to anybody with internet access.
Have you ever actually needed a credit card?
Have you ever actually needed a credit card?
9
The last sentence is your essay says it all. As I write this, my local station is airing "Have a turkey neck?" What would we women do without these 'educational' adverts to guide us!
27
" . . . an unruly bit of body that women are expected to subdue through diet and exercise."
I never heard a male discuss this subject, ever. But I've been privy to innumerable conversations among women about it.
Who exactly is doing the expecting here?
I never heard a male discuss this subject, ever. But I've been privy to innumerable conversations among women about it.
Who exactly is doing the expecting here?
77
@Polymat -
You've never visited the right websites apparently.
You've never visited the right websites apparently.
4
This!
As an older woman, I'm curious because people talk about this yet I haven't seen stats: Just what percentage of women now wax their public area? I ask because I wonder if this is something that women feel pressured to do out of a false sense of conformity.
One year my public school ran an effective survey about alcohol/drug use--it asked students anonymously who had ever partaken. The results were surprisingly low, not much higher than 50%. The impression everyone had - has - is that *everyone* in the school used drugs/alcohol & to not use them meant you were an oddball. But the fact was that you were far less of an oddball than you thought.
Could a similar thing be happening with shaving and artificially manipulating 'down there'? I don't know, but I'd be interested in actual surveys and stats. If women knew that, say, only 20% of women shaved and plucked, for instance, not only would the 'bush' crowd feel less of an outcast, but the 'shavers' might decide that it's not necessary to suffer the discomfort.
Men might think the proportion is much higher since women in porn ubiquitously shave & this impacts men's image of women, subconsciously or consciously. But many women don't shave, I do know that. I just don't know the percentage. Isn't it more empowering for us to really know what our bodies are actually like, around us, than to worry about fake manipulated images of starved women in magazines & what one creepy couple is doing at an office?
One year my public school ran an effective survey about alcohol/drug use--it asked students anonymously who had ever partaken. The results were surprisingly low, not much higher than 50%. The impression everyone had - has - is that *everyone* in the school used drugs/alcohol & to not use them meant you were an oddball. But the fact was that you were far less of an oddball than you thought.
Could a similar thing be happening with shaving and artificially manipulating 'down there'? I don't know, but I'd be interested in actual surveys and stats. If women knew that, say, only 20% of women shaved and plucked, for instance, not only would the 'bush' crowd feel less of an outcast, but the 'shavers' might decide that it's not necessary to suffer the discomfort.
Men might think the proportion is much higher since women in porn ubiquitously shave & this impacts men's image of women, subconsciously or consciously. But many women don't shave, I do know that. I just don't know the percentage. Isn't it more empowering for us to really know what our bodies are actually like, around us, than to worry about fake manipulated images of starved women in magazines & what one creepy couple is doing at an office?
334
You have a point. But the media create a "reality" that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. And the most critical thing is how this impression (in the literal sense) changes the future by influencing the young. You and me above a certain age can take a step back and think, but don't forget all those teenagers out there who are being groomed for life-long behavior by their media diet.
5
Good points! What you say about impressions people get when a certain percentage have something done, this is what happened to breast sizes. So many have had breast implants that we have forgotten what normal looks like. It's sad for real girls and women.
9
The majority of patients I examine in my office under 25, male and female, are shaved. Now more of the older patients are, up to their 50's, including men. In the past if a patient had a genital wart or lesion treated no one would think of having them sign a consent because with pubic hair it was a non issue. Now myself and many of my peers make sure the patient is informed there could be a skin color change or scar after treatment because the appearance of genitals is important and more public for many.
7
Along with death and taxes, one thing you can always count on is the Times criticizing some aspect about the annual Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. At least this time we are spared the sociological, philosophical, historical, metaphysical (and don't forget patriarchal!) analysis.
8
Please - enough of the hand writing and gnashing of teeth. She is a beautiful woman with a beautiful body - including her "lady piece" as the author calls it. Let's all just enjoy this.
19
Sorry...bigger issues to consider here in a year 2014 where NFL domestic violence and college rape are now been seen more clearly by the public.
3
Wipe your spectacles, professor. She's a caricature, a photo-shopped shell of a woman held up as the fairest of them all. It's all smoke and mirrors, but until we all know this, the farce--and the ridiculous shame that many take on as a result--flourishes.
8
Most men care about this less than you might think; they too know that porn is fantasy.
53
I think you're right for men over 30 but a good deal of younger men have accepted the fantasy as the reality.
7
But the problem is that tween and teen girl do not.
9
I suspect that with the internet Sports Illustrated days are numbered unless they can figure out a pay model. This smacks of desperation.
22
Dear Ms. Weiner: Did you realize there is a rather overlong description of a vaginal reconstruction in the novel (1969) and movie (1972) "The Godfather?"
New? Hardly...
New? Hardly...
3
Good grief this makes me glad I'm old!
What ever happened to the good old days when a man was just happy to get there? We didn't have to "landscape" it, much less scorch the earth with wax or lasers. I mean, I'll weedwhack the edges before going to the beach, but I've never taken a Zamboni down the freeway!
What ever happened to the good old days when a man was just happy to get there? We didn't have to "landscape" it, much less scorch the earth with wax or lasers. I mean, I'll weedwhack the edges before going to the beach, but I've never taken a Zamboni down the freeway!
658
Love it!
1
I may need a new keyboard. I was drinking my morning coffee while reading this comment. Nicely put.
9
Well said EK. Laughing out loud here.
But it's still the good old days and a man is still "just happy to get there." The rest is (unnecessary) advertising.
But it's still the good old days and a man is still "just happy to get there." The rest is (unnecessary) advertising.
8
The last unexplored area of the Barbie doll.... I suppose we should have guessed that we would get there eventually.
60
When I first saw the cover, I said, "Weird. Why doesn't she have any pubic (please, not public) hair?" I'm beautiful just the way I am, thanks.
42
Three points. (OK, get the rotten tomatoes ready.)
1. This is an inevitable consequence of the sexual revolution. Don't get me wrong; the last thing I want to do is go back to the bad old days. (My closet is full, no room for me in there.)
But the ubiquity of sex and bare flesh is like eating 5-alarm chili at every meal, or the children's story about the girl who wished for 'Christmas every day.' You get sated, bored, jaded. When a man felt thrilled to get any glimpse of what lay beneath the clothes at all, the bar was set lower.
2. Also, our definition of beauty is relative - an outlier on a bell curve. As Rod Serling noted, when everyone is beautiful, no one is. Surgery, cosmetics, and other methods of attaining 'beauty' simply move the goalposts. Once it was enough to have 'nice' teeth; now 'beauty' is perfect rows of blue-white fluorescent Chiclets. Slim is now exaggerated to the point where having any intestines makes you look fat. And so on. 'Just as we can't live n Lake Wobegon where all the children are above average, 'beauty' by definition is always reserved to the few.
3. Don't blame SI. If you get on this treadmill, it's your own choice. (Me, no one gets near the end zone with a scalpel except to save my life. Just thinking about it ... Brrrr.)
1. This is an inevitable consequence of the sexual revolution. Don't get me wrong; the last thing I want to do is go back to the bad old days. (My closet is full, no room for me in there.)
But the ubiquity of sex and bare flesh is like eating 5-alarm chili at every meal, or the children's story about the girl who wished for 'Christmas every day.' You get sated, bored, jaded. When a man felt thrilled to get any glimpse of what lay beneath the clothes at all, the bar was set lower.
2. Also, our definition of beauty is relative - an outlier on a bell curve. As Rod Serling noted, when everyone is beautiful, no one is. Surgery, cosmetics, and other methods of attaining 'beauty' simply move the goalposts. Once it was enough to have 'nice' teeth; now 'beauty' is perfect rows of blue-white fluorescent Chiclets. Slim is now exaggerated to the point where having any intestines makes you look fat. And so on. 'Just as we can't live n Lake Wobegon where all the children are above average, 'beauty' by definition is always reserved to the few.
3. Don't blame SI. If you get on this treadmill, it's your own choice. (Me, no one gets near the end zone with a scalpel except to save my life. Just thinking about it ... Brrrr.)
143
At least it's not as drastic as breast implants. Sales are unaffected by the obviously fake, stuck-on "perfection" of the results. We are all porn stars now.
whether we like it or not.
whether we like it or not.
3
Beg pardon, this is not the natural consequence of the sexual revolution (whether you love it or leave it), but of monetizing it.
13
Beg to differ, Judy, for the reasons given. You might re-read my original comment to 'get' it. There is a difference, which I think you don't 'get', between repression and reserve.
The value of a commodity is determined by its scarcity or rarity. Sex - at least garden variety plain sex with average partners - is now like pennies on the sidewalk which no one even bothers to pick up. Yet there was a time when a penny was worth something. We keep having to add bells and whistles to make sex something special - and as those bells and whistles become normalized and mundane, sex has to become more exotic to grab attention and hold it.
Another analogy could be loud noise, or a smell. After awhile of prolonged and continuous exposure, you cease to notice it - so to get attention one must ramp up the decibel level or slop on more perfume.
The value of a commodity is determined by its scarcity or rarity. Sex - at least garden variety plain sex with average partners - is now like pennies on the sidewalk which no one even bothers to pick up. Yet there was a time when a penny was worth something. We keep having to add bells and whistles to make sex something special - and as those bells and whistles become normalized and mundane, sex has to become more exotic to grab attention and hold it.
Another analogy could be loud noise, or a smell. After awhile of prolonged and continuous exposure, you cease to notice it - so to get attention one must ramp up the decibel level or slop on more perfume.
1
You are of so correct. I am so glad to be old and have matured during the 70's and 80's when natural beauty was in vogue. We cared about what we looked like but I don't think it ever came close to the level of today's narcissism. Would Christy Brinkley even make the cut today?
65
I'm far older than you are, and I was thinking about the old stars of Hollywood and even the ones who modeled for SI. I seriously doubt any of them would have thought that much about their "lady piece" as some of the young women today appear to do. Probably to a woman they would wonder what in heck is going on with women today that they will torture themselves to do things that make them look like little girls again.
7
"Would Christy Brinkley even make the cut today?"
Pun of the year!
Pun of the year!
2
Thank you, Ms. Weiner, for calling out the insidiousness of the self-improvement-industrial complex that continues its inexorable march (literally) up one side of the female anatomy and down the other. I'm a girl's girl -- I've got a serious Sephora habit and I'm perpetually back on a diet. But I'm frankly too strapped working at my career, maintaining my marriage and friendships, and keeping up my little household to spend actual time or money on the latest and greatest "problem areas." Still, there's no doubt of the general low-grade anxiety I experience stemming from the relentless cataloguing of women's supposed body and sartorial failings.
"Camel toe," "thigh gap" and all the rest are concepts invented to turn a profit at the great expense of everyday women. But just because someone out there has invented them, we don't have to buy in. We can agree to disagree with those whose upside relies on our believing we're just one nip/tuck (or goop-in-a-tube or workout routine) from good enough.
"Camel toe," "thigh gap" and all the rest are concepts invented to turn a profit at the great expense of everyday women. But just because someone out there has invented them, we don't have to buy in. We can agree to disagree with those whose upside relies on our believing we're just one nip/tuck (or goop-in-a-tube or workout routine) from good enough.
61
Excellent commentary on a prickly situation.
19
Homo sapiens (and Femma sapiens?) took all that trouble to evolve losing some body hair but left enough to cover parts that need protection. Or something for those lovely smelly glands to nestle in. Hair is absolutely necessary to the sense of touch. Take it all away and you have as much feeling as a billiard ball.
Next trend? Pull out all those annoying and unsightly eye lashes. So what if they protect the eyes? They make women look stupid. Stop with the eye lashes already and all the rest of those things on your body. Women, by ridding yourself of that ugly hair you are helping the free global markets of capitalism. Get a Romanian - eyes with no lashes. Then men will approve of you and love you. Isn't that what "beauty" is all about?
Next trend? Pull out all those annoying and unsightly eye lashes. So what if they protect the eyes? They make women look stupid. Stop with the eye lashes already and all the rest of those things on your body. Women, by ridding yourself of that ugly hair you are helping the free global markets of capitalism. Get a Romanian - eyes with no lashes. Then men will approve of you and love you. Isn't that what "beauty" is all about?
16
I'm Romanian - and I have eye lashes! And I don't hate them! And I really think I need them too!!!!
Is that the opposite of a Brazilian these days?
Is that the opposite of a Brazilian these days?
4
I'm just glad I'm old and secure enough to see my body as my own, and can ignore what some people say I need to fix/change/enhance. How do we convince our young women that they can be themselves.
46
Very timely, Ms. Weiner, and as usual a fantastic article. One can visualize your literary predecessors nodding vigorously in agreement. Sometimes the most persuasive and therefore the best way to address serious issues is through pointed humor. Insecurities are very real and may well lead to great unhappiness, especially when looks are concerned. This is near... impossible for men to comprehend, of course, given what we have gotten away with for millennia in regard to our physical features.
76
Let us not compare our 40 selves to 20 yr olds who are groomed to the last inch. I have been to other countries where women do not shave their facial hair, their legs, their underarms, their private parts, etc, etc. We may not be used to that but they seem perfectly fine with it. Now when we become menopausal and all that estrogen disappears, you will be plucking and shaving those huge hairs that come out of your chin and your leg hairs get so long you can feel them blowing in the wind. Huge hairs grow behind your knees and up your thighs. Also, all your body hair goes gray. Trust me, age changes everything.
71
In my 20's, I overheard a tattoo artist advise a young woman that a panoramic sunrise on the small of her back might be beautiful and unique, but in 30 or 40 years it might resemble a spider crawling our of her butt crack. She opted for a butterfly on her hip. I got the yin-yang symbol on my upper arm and left it at that.
5
Or the opposite happens--most body hair falls out on the arms and legs; eyelashes and pubic hair thin.
5
Cheer up, ibivi - after age 50, body hair starts to disappear - everywhere. Something to look forward to...
6
In ten years SI will feature a woman in a bikini with a top but the bottom replaced by a skillfully braided and beaded bush. Women will go to special beauticians to have theirs "done". Women with sparse hair will get extensions. This fashion will be just as annoying and painful as waxing.
178
In 10 years time nobody cares to know what is out there, who displays what, where and how. Everybody will be thinking selfishly about themselves and not the society, the representative groups whether large or small as the law is bound to change with the customs. Customs became the law in many instances and the customs will govern the law just like the gay orientation nowadays accepted as a norm. In 10 years time ethics will not be just ethics but ethics will be as many ethics as your human body cells represents. As science progresses by leaps and bounds nature and natural way of life will exceed the imaginations of today. In short people will be saying 'and what is wrong with that' or 'why can't I have two separate and unique experiences to fill my life' or 'I see this as nothing wrong as it adds pleasure in life'.
Fetishizing, ugh. Looks like a prepubescent girls mons.
5
I LIKE the idea!! Let's do it! ;-)
1
I like women just as they are
Not sliced, trimmed, altered to make par,
Why chop off pell mell
What's au naturel,
Sports Illustrated's gone too far!
Not sliced, trimmed, altered to make par,
Why chop off pell mell
What's au naturel,
Sports Illustrated's gone too far!
404
Larry, you are one in a million.
5
Larry Eisenberg for Poet Laureate.
6
Larry, you always make my day!
4
For a sad look at how much we've "improved," I'd urge women to check out "Sports Illustrated Covers Through the Years" on the SI website.
If you click back to the 1970s, suddenly women look normal again. You think, those women look like women you see on the beach. They do not have ginormous breasts. They look like really nice but "unimproved" women.
And somehow they were considered not just sexy, but among the most sexy you could be. And it was, for many, attainable sexy. In addition, the space between that and what many women looked like wasn't that far apart.
I wish we could get back to that--so women wouldn't feel they are so far from the ideal, and that so much work--and "work"--was required to reach some almost mythical standard. Also, that men used to apparently consider pretty normal looking women sexy enough for a magazine cover.
If you click back to the 1970s, suddenly women look normal again. You think, those women look like women you see on the beach. They do not have ginormous breasts. They look like really nice but "unimproved" women.
And somehow they were considered not just sexy, but among the most sexy you could be. And it was, for many, attainable sexy. In addition, the space between that and what many women looked like wasn't that far apart.
I wish we could get back to that--so women wouldn't feel they are so far from the ideal, and that so much work--and "work"--was required to reach some almost mythical standard. Also, that men used to apparently consider pretty normal looking women sexy enough for a magazine cover.
567
"They do not have ginormous breasts. They look like really nice but "unimproved" women."
While I agree with the point you are making actually the ginormous breasts probably has more to do with all the hormones they give cows that the girls ingest drinking milk for the last 2 decades.
The reality is the advertising world makes their money on this kind of stuff. In the early 1960's according to the TV commercials at the time the major medical scourge the US was facing was "mid-drift bulge" but with the right girdle you could beat it. Somewhere in the mid-1960s "mid-drift bulge" was replaced by 2 even worse medical scourges thanks to the all knowing advertising industry. That's right folks, "ring around the collar" and "dandruff".
The advertising industry whole business is in shaping our image of a perfect body and in the process sell us stuff to attain that image. Look at the toy industry with Barbie and you will see a totally warped image of what a woman's body should look like. Unfortunately girls today aspire for that body that shouldn't exist in nature.
These days with photoshop and computer generated images it gets very hard to figure out what is real. In the 2nd Hobbit film the she-elf towers over her love interest dwarf but in the real world the dwarf is actually about a foot taller than her.
I wonder these days how many people spend much time in the "real world", not enough I think.
While I agree with the point you are making actually the ginormous breasts probably has more to do with all the hormones they give cows that the girls ingest drinking milk for the last 2 decades.
The reality is the advertising world makes their money on this kind of stuff. In the early 1960's according to the TV commercials at the time the major medical scourge the US was facing was "mid-drift bulge" but with the right girdle you could beat it. Somewhere in the mid-1960s "mid-drift bulge" was replaced by 2 even worse medical scourges thanks to the all knowing advertising industry. That's right folks, "ring around the collar" and "dandruff".
The advertising industry whole business is in shaping our image of a perfect body and in the process sell us stuff to attain that image. Look at the toy industry with Barbie and you will see a totally warped image of what a woman's body should look like. Unfortunately girls today aspire for that body that shouldn't exist in nature.
These days with photoshop and computer generated images it gets very hard to figure out what is real. In the 2nd Hobbit film the she-elf towers over her love interest dwarf but in the real world the dwarf is actually about a foot taller than her.
I wonder these days how many people spend much time in the "real world", not enough I think.
2
Take a look at "Fast Times At Ridgemont High" or any other movies from the 70s and 80s. There are so many real boobs and real butts and real faces and there was even real hair. That to me, is sexy. Real is sexy. Maybe the U.S. will become like Japan, where men date and mate with plastic dolls. If that's what men want, let them have it!
5
Thanks for the tip. I just did that, and you're right! In fact, some of the women, their suits and poses, look absolutely virginal. Not to mention covered up. I guess the men back then instinctively knew what so many seem to have forgotten: the less you show, the more there is to yearn.
7
You have to give the editors of the NY Times credit, an article about women's bodies and an illustration that is so prudish it makes one laugh!
68
It wasn't meant to titillate - it's just a cartoon! I saw the model for the current Sports illustrated cover interviewed on Charlie Rose. Needless to say, she was not at all embarrassed by her photo. We have all seen a lot of nudity of various kinds on the street, but this beats all. We are a very tolerant culture for viewing the body, but this pose was not even attractive. It is pornographic in its truest sense, but not very successful given what I hope is airbrushed (maybe not). Gee, is it that hard to be a whole person?
8
No, the 'prudishness' of the illustration - as you perceive it - doesn't make us laugh. It is the hilarious look of the blonde checking out the obviously tampered with pubic area of the other one.
8
If you think this is prudish, you have wildly missed the point.
13
Hannah Davis doesn't look like Hannah Davis, either. It's called photoshop. That's one thing women who are insecure about their looks should remember. The models in the magazines don't look like the models in magazines. They are all manipulated.
I wish women would just rebel at the idea that we have to go through the pain of ripping public hair out by the roots with wax, or ruining our joints with six inch heels. Weren't the flappers with their two inch heels and public hair cute and sexy? If it hurts, why do it?
I wish women would just rebel at the idea that we have to go through the pain of ripping public hair out by the roots with wax, or ruining our joints with six inch heels. Weren't the flappers with their two inch heels and public hair cute and sexy? If it hurts, why do it?
758
I couldn't agree more with this comment. Ms. Davis has had professional makeup and hair design, lighting and photography for the SI photo shoot, and hundreds of photos were no doubt taken. Add retouching to that mix to produce the image seen on the SI cover. Among other things, retouching eliminates lines, wrinkles blemishes and stray hairs, and adjusts skin tone to create a perfect tan.
Add it all up, and the real Hannah Davis can't match the image on the SI cover.
Unfortunately, many girls and women are judging themselves against a Photoshop fantasy.
Add it all up, and the real Hannah Davis can't match the image on the SI cover.
Unfortunately, many girls and women are judging themselves against a Photoshop fantasy.
261
I will scupt my lady parts when men scupt their penises
80
Have you never heard of aesthetics? I haven't wanted sexual relations for quite some time (menepause) , but I still don't want to be repulsive - I see myself in the mirror & others see me. So what I do for my appearance (like a chemical peel) is for me & anyone who happens to see me, not for some specific guy (or gal - I was bi-sexual). But I remember now when I had a nose job (1962) and a woman in my building asked me why I'd done it, since I was 'already married'. I divorced in '67. I still like my nose.
11