A Solo Traveler’s Guide to Meeting People

Alas, Virtualtourist which was a favorite spot for getting ideas, is dead and gone: about 5 months ago.

But....when I travel alone, it's because I DON'T want to talk to people. I prefer to just lose myself in the city, wandering around with a cup of tea....

Thank you for the article!

Some of those links seem to have expired or changed, however, since the original publication. Perhaps worth double-checking.

Glad to see this comments section full of wanderers! You guys are the type of folks I like to run into on the road. :)

I once treated myself to dinner on a 12-hour Amtrak trip. To my horror, I discovered I would be seated at a table with someone! I wondered how fast I could inhale my meal.

Yes, you know how this turns out. The fellow traveler was a few decades older than me, of a different gender, and different race. He had a fascinating professional history, which he graciously shared with me during a wonderful and memorable meal. Lucky me.

I found that it was actually quite a lot easier to meet people when I've traveled solo. Going with my wife or a friend has always been an impediment, because most people don't want to get involved. Also, you wouldn't want to ruin the trip for your traveling partner if they don't like the person.

Grizzer (from Seattle) made some great points as well. Get out of the West.

I am convinced that the art of small talk is the secret to enjoying solo travel. The ability to engage with strangers of all backgrounds while you travel is an art. This does not need any technological aids or apps. Taking a genuine interest in others... having a positive attitude, pleasant demeanor and curiosity... When traveling internationally is it good to avoid an overly casual style of dress - proper decorum inspires trust. I wrote an article about my experiences in this regard at http://abqstyle.com/small-talk-the-secret-to-great-travel/

I am about to get on an airplane. I just hope this article does not persuade my seatmate that I would rather talk than read my book.

Oh how this story brings back a powerful memory of the lost opportunities of isolation.

I had an aisle seat in economy on a flight from Europe. The window seat next to me was empty. The plane was full except for that one gloriously vacant seat.

The this big man got on and started down the aisle. My fear of losing that empty seat grew as he got closer and closer and, of course, it was his. We were a little uncomfortable, neither of is slim, but we wiggled into our respective spaces, silently negotiated elbow space, and hunkered down for the flight.

Nothing was said, nothing at all, until we were handed our US Customs entry cards to fill in not long before landing. The big man leaned over and asked me in a heavy accent if I could help him understand it. We chatted about what went where, and then introduced ourselves.

He was the director of a famous European psychiatric institute, an internationally renowned medical scholar who was flying to Newark to catch a train to take him to Princeton where he was to speak. He wasn't sure how to find the Newark Amtrak station. I lived in New Jersey and hated the thought of him freelancing that. I drove him and we chatted furiously as we went.

What an amazing man. What amazing foolishness it was for me to dismiss him with prejudice initially because he was big, simply dressed, and stealing "my" empty seat, and what an opportunity I lost to spend more time with someone who so many others longed to hear.

I am bemember a visit to Equador some years ago. Off the bus in Santiago de los Colorados, a small city on the western slopes of the Andes. Trudging along w/ some luggage, I saw ahead a squad of males, late teens. Dodging or ignoring them would be bad strategie, 'cause I like to wander around and drink at night, and I did not want them to tangle with me. So, I stepped up and greeted them. They gave me some flack, and a guy suddenly grabbed my wrists, I could do nothing. He was showing me who was in control around here. After a bit, the situation chilled down and I packed off with my stuff.
For me , the general rule is that if you see folks who may pose a threat, the best thing to do is to get close to them. If you hit them with some personal contact, they may leave you alone.
Travel at the edge!
I do that, but I am still a'scared to go to Brazil, or sub-Saharan Africa.

In 1962, after flunking out of Cornell Architecture, I punished myself with a trip to Puerto Rico. There, on the front lawn of the University of Puerto Rico, along with my precious Aixa, I was introduced to Paul Theroux. He was at the time a Peace Corp Volunteer in training. The Peace Corp was hot ticket. A PCV might find hisself gobbling clams across the table from JFK.
I asked what sort of training he was subjected to.
He said," Well digging and bee keeping."
I thought,"Oh, better you than me."
I read many of his books but never realized that he was the gent whom I had met. In pictures on the jacket of his books he always wore shades. Then, I read an autobiographical item, wherein he appeared w/o the shades, and I remembered him.

I decided to slip down to the Starbucks at East Nanjing Road Station for a jolt. No passport, no cards.
I got my meds, but there were no vacant tables, so I sat with a pair of ladies in the 35 yr-old category. We talked. They both worked in the same shop, selling women's wear. They were very well dressed, big shoppers.
I mentioned that I sought shaving cream, a hard-to-find item in China. Lilly, (many women in China adopt western names) knew where I could get some. It was a high-end pharmacy.
The little can of soap was priced a ca. $5. I was about to abandon the project when I figured I shouldn't do that.
As I was settling at the cash register, both women appeared with stuff they had picked up around the store they wanted me to buy for them. I nixed that.
So then, it was off to lunch, I knew not where. One woman was on each of my arms. I was being frog marched, to a beautiful, fourth floor Japanese restaurant. I mentioned having no money. Ami said confidently, "Man always pay."
There was a lavish food-porn illustrated menu with sahimi and all sorts of great stuff. Lilly made an evocative sexual move. I knew full well there would be additional toll barriers before I arrived at that promised land.
Things were getting serious, and an estimate of the bill was requested. It was over 1000 RNB, 'round about $170. The women were furious. Across the table, her eyes looked like those I've seen on dragons.
I slithered out of there, controlling my laughter 'til I had exited the build.

Go to meetup.com and look up groups that share your interests in the place you're visiting and see if their get-togethers jibe with when you'll be in the area. You can indulge in whatever enthusiasms you have (photography, life drawing, hiking, theater, etc.) and meet people at the same time.

When I went to Australia for work for 3 months, MeetUps were great. I made a few friends that I still have (on Facebook, anyway). But normally when travelling alone I: To meet fellow travellers, go on a day-long or more tour, Sit at the bar in a restaurant or pub. You always wind up talking to the bar man or a neighbour. This is also a good safety practice for women business travellers. My one wish: That there was a way to meet other similar travellers for dinner. Because it's dinner time that is the hardest when travelling alone.

Avoid hotels. Guesthouses, hostels and Couchsurfing are all places where you meet others automatically. Besides, poorer travelers are more open and friendly. I am a 66-year old international backpacker with over forty years of budget travel experience and meeting people has never been a problem. Just say something. The worst thing that can happen is the other person won't reply (but usually they do). And if they don't, you didn't want to know them anyway.

As an expat living in a city visited by tourists, all I see are visitors texting, nonstop on their smartphones, only stopping to take selfies. Selfie poles are now the most popular item sold on the streets here. No one talks anymore, it's all texting.

I've done some solo travel within the US, and have a surefire recommendation to meet people. In restaurants/cafes, whatever, don't sit at a table or booth. Sit at the counter. Chat starts with wait staff. Then you can weave in to other diners' chat with wait staff and other diners, and you're off!

I could have written this article- I've taken 12 solo trips. Europe. Canada. The Caribbean, Central and South America. I've met couples on honey moon in Costa Rica, a drunk Trump supporter in a Gay bar in Edinburgh, a wealthy Colombian couple on a beach in Panama and American hipsters in a tasteful resort in the Dominican Republic among many, many others characters. Good advice from many below. It starts with a simple hello in the countries native language. if you make an effort to connect with people in their language it is much easier. I also say don't push it. Look for subtle signs and do respect the local culture and customs. Some natives are receptive to speaking with strangers other less so. Don't take it personal. Also, as a solo traveler and single occupant you may pay more for accommodations and in finer restaurants if you are dining alone you may not get the best seat in the house. Traveling solo is not for everyone, but, it is an adventure. I do recommend everyone try it once.

Years ago the company I was working for was sold to another large company, which was located in NYC which I love to this day. When interviewing with the director of personnel, I asked what I would get if I did not accept their offer. Well I had 14 years and was an officer of the company. When he told me what I would get, I almost fell off my chair. WOW it was a bunch.

Have always loved to travel and I bought an open ticket around the world, initially I had planned on going to third world countries in the southern hemisphere. The only reservations I had were in Amsterdam and for a Safari in Tanzania. Well I liked what I had found in my travels, I did not return to the USA for over a year.
The locals seeing I was about seeing their country and experiencing their culture and food were extremely helpful. I visited Sri Lanka simply because I was told they have some wonderful food and their beaches were very beautiful. At that time there were lots of young travelers from the US and Europe that were traveling to get cheap drugs and stay high. They were easy to identify and avoid.

Did meet a lot of very interesting people including Arthur C. Clark. When I asked if there was any scuba diving done in Sri Lanka, I was given this number and called asking about Scuba Diving and the guy who answered the phone was Arthur C. Clark. He then invited me to a party he was having. The Temple of Doom movie was being filmed then and I met several actors but not Harrison Ford.

There's something importantly lacking existentiallly here. Meeting others of consequence in life is mysterious and biological in a way that hooking up over a computer is not. Seasoned and the experienced travelers will know what I'm tallking about. This is so programmed and artificial. It feels desperate, if you know what I mean...

I had a friend drop by my home yesterday whom I originally met on a beach in Greece in 1976. I still visit with a friend whom I met in Kathmandu in 1985. Or another whom I met in India in 2009. It’s been great great to make connections like that. I still travel and meet new people, but I gotta tell you, it’s gotten harder. Many people now are connected to their cliques electronically and have their heads down so much of the time. I’ve even had the experience when trying to seek the wisdom of Buddhist monks in the remote Himalayas that they are totally absorbed and bowed to their smart phones.

I've been a solo traveler for most of my life. I've found that budget traveling presents more opportunities to meet other travelers from around the world. Once I was able to afford upscale hotels, I felt isolated because of the formality and encountered mostly couples who kept to themselves.

I am reluctant to publish this privileged information, but China, Red China, PRC, is inhabited by marvelous, friendly people. I did a 32-day bumbling walkabout in Shanghai, Hangzhou, Jingdezhen, Tunxi, and Hefei.
I, a certified geezer, was often set-upon by small groups of young females who were eager to speak with an English native-speaker. Whenever I ran into a snag, as often happened, a squad of young ppl with smart phones would assemble to pull me through.
In food shops, towards the end of the day, employees, all females, tend to gather at the front of the store to jabber and joke around. They ask personal questions and generally mess around with me.
In China, I am an instant celebrity.

If the current leader of the US gets his way, all the Americans here who are discussing visiting other countries and learning about other cultures may find that the people living in those other countries are a bit less welcoming. Slamming the door in the face of people desperately trying to flee for their lives, building a wall to prevent people from seeking work most Americans don't want, and spouting demeaning rhetoric about non-Americans, non-whites and disabled people will just make it that much harder for individual Americans of any color to connect with people around the world. If you want to meet people from other countries a good way to strike up a conversation is to tell them how appalled you are by the present government's presumptuous American exceptionalism and arrogant disdain for other cultures and countries. Then you can segue right into how many things you've discovered other countries do better than the US--like health care, education and gun control. After that you can take a selfie together and send it to your relatives who actually voted for this callous commander-in-chief. Be sure to include the tag "good neighbor policy" on the photo.

This Facebook group helps remote workers, longterm travellers and Digital Nomads looking for someone to travel and live with:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/nomadsoulmates/

I really enjoyed reading your article Ms Rosenbloom! I am a Digital Nomad / solo full time traveler myself and realized that once you are opening up to people and approaching strangers most of the time it takes you on an incredible journey that opens up great opportunities!

The facebook group (with about 3740 Nomads) are interested to find their soulmate or someone to travel and enjoying life with. Might be interesting to some ;)

Another good website is http://www.travelersmeeting.com/ I found travel parthner 2 times there...

I've found asking people for directions or taking a picture of you (or together) is very effective way of opening up and meeting people while traveling. Then again, if you feel more comfortable to start your journey with a travel companion to begin with, I would highly suggest to checkout Tripolette: https://www.tripolette.com/

I started Tripolette to help connect travelers with matching travel #activities and itineraries to share the trip together. Travel is always more fun with people, specially if they match your style. Would love to hear what you all think of it. Happy safe travels everyone! @babakkademi

Striking up a conversation with locals or other solo travelers has never been a problem for me. Especially outside of the heavy tourist areas the locals seem genuinely interested in where you're from and why you're there, and other solo travelers are often grateful to have another traveler to talk to.

I use discretion when approaching couples and groups. Very often their vacation is their opportunity to connect in a way they may rarely do at home. They likely want memories of shared experiences with each other most of all, so I try to stay cognizant of that.

This will sound like ancient history, but time was when the American Express central officers across Europe collected mail for travelers. A letter would simply be addressed "hold for pick up". This is also where one went to receive money sent from home, if you had any coming. The offices were central gathering places for the young and people organized vans and cars to drive to distant cities, with everyone sharing the cost. Everyone met up.

Having lived through those times when communication was much more difficult, one advice I would pass along is put down your phone. Don't facebook or twitter it your trip. By sharing, you take something away from the experience. Wait. Don't take photos, either, unless you are a professional or you are actually documenting something. 90% of the photos you might take lose their meaning 90 minutes later. "Why did I photograph that building?"

By putting down the phone and looking around, you have a much better chance to live in the moment, meet people and make friends. A good friend is worth a thousand photos. Remember that.

People everywhere can teach you something. In Morocco years ago, I learned that Americans were held in high regard, even while our country was not so admired. I learned everyone knows "California" and "Texas". In Jordan, I learned about middle eastern hospitality, even while people resented the US role in the region. Everywhere I have been, I have absorbed useful information and, usually, some good vibes.

Doug Terry

Quite a few years ago, I traveled Greece alone for ten weeks during, Oct-Dec. I am not an outgoing person, but I certainly found the friendly side of myself after only a few days on the road. I took the public transportation system: buses, trains, ferries. While in Delphi, I met a mother and daughter at breakfast. We visited the ruins together. Later that day they asked me to travel with them. They had a rental car. In Corinth, a young woman from Italy befriended me at the bus stop for Ancient Corinth. We saw it and Epidaurus together. She promised to come see me in Colorado. In Thebes, the hotel receptionist, a man in his forties, kept offering his help locating archaeological sites. I talked to him in the evenings out on the main street. I watched the national election with him and his friends one evening. On Samos waiting for the ferry to get into Turkey, a band of Aussies and Kiwis adopted me, and I spend a week with them in Seljuk. A young woman from New Zealand asked if she could walk the ruins of Ephesus with me. We had a terrific time together. Also in Seljuk, I met a young man from Kenya who had been traveling alone for fifteen years. Yes, it's addicting. I returned to Greece in '09. In the ruins of Eleusis, I met a young women from Romania. We talked for a while, and then we met again at Brauron. She was with the woman she met, and was staying with, through the CouchSurfing website you mentioned. Traveling in foreign lands is life-altering. http://OedipusBlog.com

Another great way to meet the locals is by using your ancient DNA connections- for example, if you have submitted a sample through a site such as FamilyTreeDNA.com, and have been provided a list of your matches and their home countries, an advance e-mail that says you will be visiting their region; can they recommend restaurants or tourist sites? - will almost always elicit a friendly response, and an invitation to meet, often for a home-cooked dinner. As any experienced traveler knows, a meal in the home of a local can add immensely to the pleasure of a trip. And don't forget to extend an invitation in return at the end of your visit.

Traveling alone is also the best way to practice your foreign languages.

"When there's random selection, you don't have that risk of being targeted." Unless that person was intentionally positioned in an area where vulnerable tourists are known to congregate. Or you happened to randomly select a person with bad intentions. I'm not saying that most people are bad, but I do want to point out that the fact that you initiated the conversation is not a guarantee of safety.

TripSharing (trip-sharing.com) is another service that is looking to match travelers together by allowing interested individuals to apply for group trips that meet their interests (20s yr olds / from Chi / going to Thailand). Companion travelers are matched and vetted by mutual facebook friends and feedback loops.

Couchsurfing is great for their meet-ups. I would never recommend it to stay in people's houses, mainly because people are flakes and tourist-y destinations are assailed by requests. But I spent a month in Paris and made excellent friends with some nice folks. It's an automatic party at the meet-ups and maybe you will end up meeting someone who will want to show you around!

Americans are naturally friendly. But in other countries or cultures, this is not always acceptable or comes across, at first, kind of strange. Time and place also matter.
Also, a woman talking to a man means something different world wide. Same thing with a man traveler talking with a native woman.
Context, like in the U.S., is everything
Keep in mind too that “shared” in another country might not mean “talking”. A shared table at a hole in the wall diner in Poland in 1992 meant sitting hip to hip with working class Poles. Talking was minimal. Drinking fruit compote and eating the delicious and cheap pierogi or gołąbki was the priority. Even talking with your American or Polish companion across from you was done in soft voices. (Poland has changed much since then though!)
Rick Steves has it right about meeting people: just do it! But approach with a gentle and curious tone. If they are friendly, and the language barrier is not there, they will be friendly. If they don’t care and are rude, don’t take it personally! Just move on. Meeting all kinds of people is a big and fun part of travel.

Having traveled solo to many countries, I think the hostel approach works best for men who are not fair-skinned. Whether we want to admit it or not, people in other countries and even here in the US are more receptive/helpful to foreign women out in public, or fair-skinned men who I'm guessing may be seen as "more approachable". In hostels most people are passing through and have a common travel interest so the ice-breaking is much easier. Just my 2c as a non-fair-skinned male who's seen this in the Americas, Europe, and Asia/Oceania and wants to see if this is true in Africa

I find that when you're traveling alone, it is easier to meet people because you're more open to it. When you're with a companion, you tend more to stick with each other. You don't need to consult any apps, just be friendly.

Over 40 YAG, the company I worked for was bought out and I surprisingly got a rather good parachute. I grew up in a small town and had a desire to travel so i bought an open around the world ticket, planned to travel for 3 months and ended up traveling for a year. Then most young travelers were into cheap drugs and were really not interested in the people or their culture. Once people see you are really interested in their culture and seeing their way of life - they open up and are very helpful. Some of the most helpful were in Muslim countries as travelers were few in number.
Never had a security issue but there are dangerous places out there and some of the fellow travelers are very interesting people.
When I do retire, I am getting a sail boat and plan to spend time in the south pacific avoiding the tourist islands.
The most important thing I discovered was myself and i rather liked what I found. I am now writing a travel log about my experience. Then i had to keep notebooks and now you have wonderful electronic storage devices.
The walls of my home now have all manner of statues, wooden art items and pictures from around the world.
There is a wonderful world out there - just go find it - ENJOY!

I didn't travel alone as a young woman but starting at age 49, I've traveled and worked all over the world. A grey haired, middle aged woman with a friendly and polite approach, an open mind, an acceptance of cultural differences, and a good instinct for what's safe and what's not... this is the best combination for traveling alone. We are so non-threatening! I'd rather meet people on the fly, naturally, than fabricate a "friendship" with the aid of an app.

"When you are traveling solo, it’s not always a breeze to strike up a conversation with a stranger."

I found the total opposite to be true. I meet more people when I travel alone. Strangers are much more likely to strike up conversation with a single person, rather than 'interrupt' a couple or group of people who are together.

I've also found couchsurfing to be a great way to meet locals or other travellers. Once you login to your couchsurfing account while abroad, the system recognizes you are logging in at another location and updates your profile accordingly, so that other users of the site can see who else is in the area. I once had another couchsurfing person see that I was in the same town, and they dropped me a note 'hey, I see you are in Napoli...want to meet up for dinner?' We had a great time and she showed me all the sites she'd discovered during her three month visit to Naples.

Once again, refer people to "Social" media. Best esperience I had was 20 yrs ago in a restaurant in London where the host asked "would you mind sitting at a share table we reserve for singles?" walked past a long line. No GPS, no whatever, just the joy of an unplanned encounter without someone with their face stuck in a screen looking for something better and failing miserably, which was the ONLY experience I saw from "Social" media

Alas, all apps require a smart phone and/or a Facebook or LinkedIn account... guess I'll just have to continue meeting people the old fashioned way.

I meet far more people traveling alone than when I travel with a companion. Companions are great to share travel experiences with, but we serve as each other's security blankets when out of our comfort zones. Strangers tend to take far more kindly to a solo traveler (I must always look lost) and are more willing to offer unsolicited help than if you have a buddy with you.

When in Buenos Aires, I always started a dinner alone, but always finished at a table of strangers who invited me to join them.

This article is so lame. Resorting to apps and websites to meet people while traveling? How about just talking to people? I've found that when traveling in Asia people are very happy to talk and are incredible hosts. There is no shortage of friendly people out there. All you have to do is look friendly and act friendly. The US and Europe are the most unfriendly places in the world. GET OUT OF THE WEST AND YOU'LL FIND LOTS OF FRIENDLY PEOPLE. The most friendly people I've ever encountered were in Iran. They're AMAZINGLY FRIENDLY!

My kids, when they were teenagers, used to complain:

"Dad talks to people in elevators."

Try it. It is a good way to meet some interesting people.

If you like sports go to a game....lots of people to talk you and you they all like say : Baseball. ...... and you don't have the same "social pressure" as say a sports bar.

I have traveled all over this lovely world by myself, especially in my younger years. First, I want to say I highly encourage it. If you have to make the choice of going by yourself (because your buddies can't join) or not, go! It is a very rich experience and you often take in more when you don't have a constant companion with you. One simple thing I have often used to strike up a conversation is to ask "Do you the time please?" 99% of the people who I have tried to start conversations with have been grateful to have someone new to talk with, even if they are part of a couple. Go get 'em is what I say!

A woman, or even a male, must be very cautious when traveling.

I almost always travel alone, and here are my suggestions:
1) If possible, stay in bed-and-breakfast type places instead of in hotels. One meets people at breakfast.
2) If you are at all religious, attend services in a local church or temple. People may be friendly or not, but you have about a 50-50 chance of finding a friendly congregation.
3) If you belong to an international professional or hobby organization and participate in their Internet forums, announce that you are traveling to such-and-such a destination and would like to meet fellow participants.
4) Take public transit instead of cabs, especially overseas, and look pleasant and approachable.

Traveling solo and want to meet other travelers? Stay at a hostel! Aside from saving money, it's a great way to connect, get travel tips, and join in on group tours. (If you're put off by sharing a room with strangers, not to worry--many, if not most, also offer single rooms, some with private baths as well.)

Although the majority of hostelers are younger, I've run into at least one person my age (62!) or older at every hostel I've stayed in. And, rather than age difference being a barrier, the common interest in travel has always outweighed generational differences.

I used to travel solo and I would find other travelers online. However, for safety's sake I only met with groups and then it was only in a public place. My favorite places were for dinners or religious services. I thought if I did not feel comfortable with a particular group, I could easily excuse myself. Also, I had a wider choice of people to meet in a more relaxed setting.

The Jim Haynes dinners in Paris were also a favorite of mine. Jim is an ex-pat hosting informal dinners (www.jim-haynes.com) at his atelier on Sunday nights. Just call, and if there is room - you have at least 50 other travelers to meet, break bread with, and share a glass of wine.

Steve
www.travelingprofessor.com

"...it’s not always a breeze to strike up a conversation with a stranger." Stephanie, you've never met my mom.

Some 8 years ago I used wayn.com (Where are you now?) to successfully connect with locals in Colombia. They should me around and even invited me into their homes.
Then in 2012 I used CouchSurfing when I traveled to Ciudad de Chihuahua in Mexico. I contacted locals with "wants to meetup" status. They took me to Pancho Villa museums and even invited me to a wedding.
Then in 2013 I stayed with Puerto Rican locals through Airbnb. Spend a day with them at the beach and ate mofongos at joints not mentioned in LP guide.
Before Airbnb I always stayed at hostels which helps you connect with other travelers.
With solo travel you get best of both worlds- company when you want it and independence to chart your own route. It was fun.

Ms. Rosenbloom, I like what you write about and how you write it. Today, though, you touched on a pet peeve. I call it oversourcing. In the middle of this piece, paraphrasing, you state:

Don't be shy or afraid. Reaching out usually works. You'll be happy about that even though most people don't try. Others are more interested in getting to know you than you think. A good ice breaker, which usually works, is "Where do tourists usually go" Or you can just say " You live in a great town."

In support of this short paragraph, you cite a professor of behavioral sciences at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business, his colleague, anonymous social scientists, an article in the Journal of Experimental Psychology, and nine experiments.

Ms. Rosenbloom, you've never lied to me before. I would have believed your statement if you'd just told me it was true.