When are we going to talk about street harassment? That's pretty bad too, and often dangerous. But.. maybe movie stars don't have to deal with it, because they don't actually walk around? So it's not a thing?
While the #MeToo movement and resultant discussion have focused on workplace sexual harassment, Zoe Heller’s piece aptly alluded to the expansion of the movement to other areas, workplace industries besides entertainment and government. However, there has been little mention of a huge area of sexual harassment that can fall under the umbrella of “metropolitan elites”: harassment that takes place outside of the workplace, an arena that has very few legal protections and no voice.
Briefly, I was sexually harassed in person and by text (aggravated harassment), email and voicemail by a Fios salesman which started in a telecommunications company store. This man was in a power position as there is an oligopoly of telecommunications companies (2) in my area that offer bundle service packages of TV, phone and Internet. He has my home address, my phone numbers, and other electronic ID information. He knew that I was/am happily married. The parent company was unresponsive to my outreach for help, and I have been living in fear since I was the object of the salesman’s sexual harassment.
If you have been sexually harassed as a patron by anyone working at a ‘too big to fail’ company or a small company, please share your experience and add your voice to the effort to overcome the actions of repulsive, egocentric men who try to exploit power by sexually harassing others.
There are unintended consequences to every action. This latest movement will result in less opportunities for women in the short term, unless they come from a women owned business. Trust me, I'm rarely wrong on these things.
There is a non-political force that penetrates the hearts and souls of men and women, which is often overlooked, here is no exception, that can sustain and nourish the perseverance necessary, I think the Afro-American community has eaten and drunk this spiritual wine in the past. But it is so easy to be co-opted by political desires, which is a real shame. Because politics then controls the access to this spiritual force, colors it, divides it, kills it. Where is it appealed to in these essays? Except tangentially
Where's the Reckoning? Until The United States Congress releases the names of all of the Congressmen that settled harassment cases behind closed doors nothing is going to change. Going after the President without cleaning your own house smacks of the political garbage that is running through Washington right now. Release the names of those who've hide behind their own glass shield and then the Congress will be on solid ground going forward against the President's misdeeds.
1
A very bracing read. I have no doubt the NYT will win a Pulitzer Prize for this piece. The Reckoning was overdue. But there's one thing missing from this story. How are men reacting to all of this? Obviously the guilty are deservedly petrified. But the innocent are also worried. One of the writers here thought this is beginning of the end of the patriarchy. I strongly disagree. Friends who work in tech & finance have a different perspective. They see patriarchy becoming more calcified. They're saying that because allegations are accepted as unassailable facts some men won't socialize with women in the work place anymore. It's not worth the risk. Middle management is becoming very careful about who they hire, who they promote, who they trust. Men who hold the reins of power now have a deep systemic fear of having their lives destroyed by an errant act or remark. Will this trepidation advance gender equity? No it won't. We will take a step back. This is the unintended consequence of zero tolerance for sexual misconduct where there's no sense of proportionality. The tactical strategy of the #MeToo movement zealots may in the end undermine women. We don't have a solid definition of harassment that everyone agrees on yet. Some might consider an obscene joke as harassment, while others may not. What about an admiring glance? An unconscious "noticing" of an attractive woman? Until we define what constitutes punishable sexual misconduct the real change women seek will never happen.
3
Some women here don't seem to realize that their pound of power will be, at best, a mixed blessing to them. So be it.
2
Great piece. I have a feeling a book may be coming out in the years to come collecting articles like this one and the round-table and several other the document the history of the #MeToo movement.
I am a 54-year old white male and am shocked at male behavior and it is articles like this that help me teach young people, both men and women, about the real world and what like is like and needs to be for each sex.
I see a Pulitzer coming....
Laura Kipnis' excellent essay highlights indirectly some kind of mentality that has been prevalent in the political arena worldwide of late - starting about two decades ago in Italy, in this case - with the appearance on the scene of an obscure shorty, toupee-and-make-up-wearing, building contractor that succeeded in manipulating people's minds in such a way that middle-aged sexual predators like himself were lionized and adored by scores upon scores of sycophants in his pay, himself managing his wealth acquired mainly by dealing with organized crime's political chicaneries. Silvio Berlusconi subsequently bought TV channels in order to distort reality, spreading that "Kissinger's aphrodisiac" by banding with fascists, racists, xenophobes, and violent criminals, not to mention the kind of vulgarities women were subjected to in order to make them falsely believe they were his favorites -, some became even politicians in his governments. Upon metamorphosing himself into Prime Minister, Berlusconi in no time at all wielded his sexual predator power, turning his administration into a fully developed brothel selecting women (preferably young and attractive) as part and parcel of his by then harassing circus owning most of TV and media, treating them as poster girls of his power and money, and effectively buying their silence through coaxing, flattering, false promises and sheer violence if not complying with his horrible dictatorship disguised as the "new conservative revolution".
How is it that in all these pieces about the sexual harassment of women that the word patriarchy is never used, and the word misogyny is absent as well?
It is as if women are not allowed to speak real truth, but always have to protect men. In the piece by Julavits, instead telling her daughter the truth, which is that men commit over 98% of crimes of violence and that men are the violent half of the human species, she prefers that her daughter think that male violence is not real, but a mere stereotype. Not only does Julavits do a disservice to the truth and reality, she does a disservice to her daughter who is much more likely to be victimized by male violence than do girls who have a realistic view of male and their violent ways.
Ted Bundy and other serial killers of women are only able to commit and get away with their crimes because of young women being brainwashed into blindly trusting men and discounting the violent and predatory nature of men.
Liberal pablum that obscures and denies the violence of men insures that more girls and women will fall prey to the predators. A responsible parent would seek to teach about reality and how to avoid becoming the victim of a predator.
This will undoubtedly be a remark no one wants to hear. There is no solution until women have all the power and all the money. So, come on women let's take over from the men. We can do a much better job. Perhaps we'll keep the men around for procreation. Perhaps.
Except once women have all the power and money they will behave exactly the same way as men have. When African American men have gained power, have they behaved differently than when white men had it all? Bill Cosby? John Conyers? How about the female boss, yes boss, who harassed me, a male? Insulted my wife and insisted she, my boss, could do more for me? Should we empower THAT woman even more? Grow up, and stop with your ridiculous hypocrisy. Human beings are corrupted by power, and that goes for everyone.
3
This collage of conversations would make Susan B. Anthony proud. By the way ladies the house at Lily Dale, New York, where she held meetings is for sale. Beneath an avalanche of snow in front of Trump Hotel at 59th Street a crowd of genetic females gathered around a genetic male The gentleman at center beneath a blizzard was Playwright Dr. Larry Myers of St. John's University & Director of The Playwrights Sanctuary ( a theater foundation endorsed by the late great Edward Albee. Myers' new stage work has an intriguing title: "Triumph of the Other Isis" (referring to the goddess & the Isis of Madam Blavatsky s epic book Isis Unveiled. This method, in the trenches dramatist examines & intensifies ideas through meditation, mediation, & in the field research. Heralding not only a new Women s Movement but a consciousness of the Fifth Dimension& light workers apocalypse, Myers wrote his kinetic stage work as a model for newer & younger inclusive dramatists to express & explore. He stresses we must now write at the speeds of light, sound, gunfire, Nature s fire & flood & maybe rape. His vast training informed 40 years of university professorship.
1
#SheToo
"At the beginning of my career, I spent time working in media. One small company where I interned assigned me to do a project with a woman who was senior at the company. She informed me that she liked to work late at night — well past midnight, when no one else was there. From our first interactions with each other, she began asking me when I was going to take her out. Then, she informed me that she had decided we were going to have sex. She spoke graphically about my body and asked me to draw pictures of myself naked. When I declined, saying that wasn’t appropriate, she drew what she imagined my body looks like and asked me to tell her how accurate it was."
http://time.com/4772182/sexual-harassment-workplace-women-men/
Why Mat Lauer, Smiley, Charlie Rose, Woody Allen, Weinstein et al not sitting in jails? Who and what the authorities are waiting for? Are the high powered attorneys making it difficult for this to happen? Why is the press so quiet?
Hello?!!
2
The Zoe Heller essay resonates.
This behavior starts in elementary school. Roosters are roosters. Hens are hens. Ideas are ideas. Why do we continue to try to ram a square peg into a round hole?
Wow! The unleashing of long-held secrets, perhaps too shameful to bring up (however well remembered), that relates the abuse of power, usually by men, in the sexual arena. We need a paradigm, not only in reporting sexual abuse and ousting the culprits but in finding solutions long term. Women seem to have found a collective unified voice now, a strength in numbers and with a ferocity not seen before. As I tried to predicate before, the real issue, so to bring the matter to a satisfying conclusion, must start at infancy, hopefully in a healthy environment of family's mutual respect, if not love, towards each other. Imagine what is bound to happen if there is domestic violence, an awful show for the kids to copy bad behavior and, in due time, become abusive as well. Belittling women, and worse, abusing them sexually, has an awful price for our society, for both men and women. It is high time to do something about it, something constructive and long-lasting.
1
Women also need to accept some responsibility for sexual harassment. Most of these harassers appear to be alpha-males, the type of men overwhelmingly desired by women.
If women really want to change the social dynamic they need to shun (many of) the rich, confident, powerful men who can protect and support them.
In that case, a women might as well marry another woman. Plenty of alphas out there that don't abuse people. We still make life possible on this continent in spite of the growing and overwhelming unproductively of its inhabitants.
1
Until woman make their own economy they will be second to males. Is as if woman are looking for a law to make them equal to males. If you want to be equal then make it.
1
Three questions
(1) Why is it that when I (a guy) dine out with a female companion, 95% of the time the waitperson leaves the bill in front of me?
(2) Why do so many women chase after (or dream of chasing after) the jocks and good-looking bad boys when they’re young and the moneyed and powerful as they get a bit older?
(3) Why across all of humanity are patriarchal societies so common and matriarchal ones so rare? More than rare actually, virtually nonexistent. At four million people, the Minangkabau of West Sumatra, Indonesia, appear to be the largest. Four million. That would be rather less than 1/10th of 1% of the world’s population.
Maybe a little dose of reality is needed here. We are biological creatures wired to pursue sex/procreation, enjoy eating animal flesh and crave ingestion of alcohol. We seem collectively to care little about the continuing ecological health of our planet, the well-being of the more downtrodden among us, or state of the world inherited by generations yet to be born. Sexual harassment/abuse, and inequality in the workplace, will not get solved in isolation.
If I might offer one bit of advice: follow the money. Never lose sight of that or be distracted away from it.
2
I've read that spitting on someone and forcible kissing are both typically Class A misdemeanors in the USA.
It seems that kissing a woman without her consent carries a similar or potentially harsher penalty than spitting in her face.
America is such a puritanical country.
1
If the movement continues on its present course, we’re gonna need to import men from mars.
If you were too much of a coward then, then you are too much of a coward now. Strength found in numbers is nothing but admitting weakness.
1
"At the time, I would have sworn that what was happening between me and this reporter was consensual. Now, more than 25 years later, I understand more clearly how incompletely the idea of consent conveys the complexity of such a dynamic. Yes, I flirted with him and enjoyed the power of knowing that he desired me. But in the end I needed him more than he needed me, because he offered something I wasn’t finding elsewhere."
I think this explains a lot about our current #metoo movement. Many women looking back long, long ago to maybe situations that were uncomfortable and thinking they were violated more than they really were.
Sexual assault is such a broad term that could include anything. Throw the slightest feeling of impropriety or discomfort under its umbrella and suddenly you're a righteous victim with the power to incite a mediastorm to take the weirdo or creep down.
In this environment, no one's going to question you about the particulars.
2
I cannot recommend this comment enough. This is exactly right. Let's move forward instead of backwards. Memory is both unreliable and easy to manipulate. (I am a woman.)
Colleges and universities are big time places for gender discrimination. Inadequate male professors, sexual harassers or not, are the ones who get promoted even when they do not contribute much to academic excellence. Only women who are not threats to them, keep their jobs and support them as well. Sexual harassment is not about sex but power and control. Even a simple no when asked for a date is enough not the get the female professor's contract renewed. Then student evaluations are used against them even when male professors get worse ones. But students also discriminate against female professors as inadequate unless they are the motherly type and do not challenge them.
I wonder if there are statistics or anecdotical evidence of women who have used sex, sexual favors, or sex appeal to gain employment or advantages in the workplace. Just to keep things in context between those that are aghast and those that are quite comfortable with female sexual power.
3
I must be the same age as Zoe Heller because her essay strongly resonated with me. It made me wonder, however, how she reconciles the message of "know your power" with her NYRB review of Wonder Woman? There she is somewhat belittling of WW's comfort in her power and her naivete of the world of men. I get the problem with the costume and Hollywood-ifying-ness of the story. Yet, to imagine the film through the eyes of an 8 or 9 year old girl gave me goosebumps because of its "know your power" message. Brought me back to Lindsay Wagner in the Bionic Woman. Strong and smart women who employ their agency.
Many thanks to all of the women artists and writers who are putting words to what is, at least for me, a deeply challenging and intense period in our collective (by that I mean women and men) history.
p.s. - I'd also recommend Lucy Prebble's "Short Cuts" in the London Review of Books.
Where is the discussion on closing the pay gap? Only once the pernicious pay gap between men and women is closed, can we seriously have equality in the workplace. Money = power.
1
The workplace is changing. Attractive women will now have to compete doubly hard with other , less attractive women of equal intelligence and education. Men will go with the unattractive ones every time. Why risk it? Productivity will go through the roof when everyone is concentrating on work for a change...
1
The truth is it is women who have given birth, nursed, and nurtured males for not only decades but as long as the human race has existed on this planet. There has to be a reckoning of two things, an unwillingness by females to acknowledge their part in how males grow up and are nurtured, obviously resulting in too many males who aren't kind, humble, and sensitive in manners of sexuality. This stems from the fact that males born with lots of testosterone when puberty comes along at the age of 11 and older, the males are not taught by either the females or males in their lives about sexuality, and we don't acknowledge that sex is the strongest drive there is, and we don't talk about it all at a young age to all our children. The truth is that the whole priest with young boys sexual molestation took place in a male dominated hierarchy, for over a thousand years. Woman, on the other hand know how to entice men into their presence by their very being, as that is the nature of the human animal, and therein lies the truth of our essence and our sexuality. Incest in the human animal is very common, and it is allowed because it is so common, between siblings, cousins, neighbor children, etc. Parental supervision, honesty, and acknowledgement of children as sexual beings, themselves, who at the age of puberty were in times past often pregnant at the age of 12, 13, or 14 in most cultures around the world. Evolution only comes through honesty, speaking freely, and maturing.
1
There are also women managers who think that because they have made it in a man's world...they can ignore the complaints of the junior women under them but will support men who will enable their careers. Sad to see that they educated but still so unethical.
1
Fortunately, some people in Hollywood are willing to take this seriously and have convened a Commission on Sexual Harassment and Advancing Equality in the Workplace to “tackle the broad culture of abuse and power disparity.” Lucasfilm President Kathleen Kennedy who is spearheading the initiative said, “The commission will not seek just one solution, but a comprehensive strategy to address the complex and interrelated causes of the problems of parity and power." They have picked the right person, Law professor Anita Hill, Brandeis University Professor of Social Policy, to lead the Commission in what she describes as a “long overdue journey to adopt best practices and create institutional change that fosters a culture of respect and human dignity throughout the industry.” Go Anita! Go Team!
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/15/movies/anita-hill-hollywood-commissio...
True change ( and revolution ) will come when women vote in all elections (local , state and federal ) in numbers that represent their proportion in society. ( leading to them being proportionally represented in positions of power )
Then equality can not only be expected, but legislated accurately.
Oh, and of course, world peace would come about.
A good thing.
5
I had a great time when I was young in safe spaces exploring my sexuality. I am very glad that my job was not one of those spaces. I started as a software engineer in the 1980's and worked for over a decade at a large computer company. There was such a strict anti-sexual harassment policy that I heard complaints that it was stifling. But it allowed me, as a young woman, to develop skills and confidence, and to experience true mentoring. I was grateful at the time and I still am. I disagree with Zoe Heller who thinks we are being too strict. Livelihoods are at stake and the workplace is not your playground. No one is keeping you at home on the weekends. Enjoy your private time and don't bring it to work. I am one of the few women I know who lasted in tech. I still work in it; still enjoy it; and I am grateful for the financial security a stable career has provided. Too many women leave good jobs in fear and shame, due to abuse and harassment. This must stop.
8
I support this time of reckoning for women. It is fair and long overdue. Many of our workplaces have their glass ceilings and both gender and financial inequalities. I have a concern that asks after the aftermath of this purge in our culture, what then? Where do we go from here? More affirmative action legislation? There doesn't seem to be any process and examination. There are the accusations, then the apologies and resignations that follow, and then those positions filled with a woman. What are we learning? How are we changing in a positive way? In the case of Senator Frankin, I would have preferred to see the voters exercise their constitutional right and vote him out of office in the next election cycle rather than demand his immediate resignation. Are the people's interests best served by the demand for his resignation? This seems ill thought out. This is my concern.
1
I worked for the federal government. I had received an award and a wonderful evaluation. I reported inappropriate behavior of a supervisor to his supervisor, and then to the investigative office, across the hall from my office. When I made the official report, I sat across from a desk of a man eating lunch, wings, with sauce dripping down his chin. Obviously, he did not take notes. Two weeks later, nothing had happened, despite a policy stating that all claims would be investigated within 48 hours, and I was fired. As I was still under probation, just, they didn't have to give a reason. The department head told me not to contact an attorney, as I would regret it. An "investigation" occurred after I left, and employees did support my claims, but nothing was done.
If this behavior is unchecked is unchecked at a federal government office, which is supposed to set the standard, it most certainly happens, unchecked, almost everywhere else.
5
I'm a man and I have been harassed by both men and women. We need to recognize harassment in all of its diversity. I certainly like seeing bullies and harassers taken down, but I grow concerned that this movement is operating on the assumption that the harassment dyad is gendered: Straight men are always those committing the offense against women. While that is the vast majority of cases, there are other scenarios too, and unless we recognize those other scenarios as equally legitimate we only repeat the same pattern of denial and minimization that we are supposed to be evolving beyond. Let's acknowledge that sexual harassment can take any form, and stop with the privileging of some scenarios over others. Unless we do, we will be compounding the injury experienced by those who don't fit the classic dyad.
3
When will the regulations act fairly?
"https://www.sss.gov/Registration-Info/Who-Registration
Who Must Register
Who Must RegisterAlmost all male U.S. citizens and male immigrants, who are 18 through 25, are required to register with Selective Service.
It's important to know that even though he is registered, a man will not automatically be inducted into the military. In a crisis requiring a draft, men would be called in a sequence determined by random lottery number and year of birth. Then, they would be examined for mental, physical, and moral fitness by the military before being deferred or exempted from military service or inducted into the Armed Forces."
1
While this discourse focuses on how women supposedly have not been "listened to", the situation now is the opposite. We are told to listen only to women and the proposed standard of evidence is "believe the woman." Organizations are told to "act quickly" (not compatible with fairly) when there is a "credible allegation" of often non-specified "misconduct", and also that all accusations are credible. People are being fired without even being asked about the allegations and given a chance to respond.
I was shocked at the evil that some men had gotten away with, and I am delighted that they are now being called to account.
However, the solution is not to fail to listen to men. I reject the idea of "believing women" just as much as the idea of believing men, white people, or any other group.
We as men can not leave this conversation to gender's studies departments, because they do not care about our perspective. Our role must be not only as apologists/"allies" but also the only ones who are going to care about fairness also for men, to seek a more fair society for all without losing track of justice.
And, the culture needs to change so women stand up for themselves right away, and object loudly and clearly when something happens that they don't like. The solution is not to replace due process, standards of evidence, and presumption of innocence with "believe women" so that ancient claims can be pursued decades later despite truth decay, lack of evidence, witnesses, etc.
2
When I was in college the secretary of defence came and spoke and pinched the bottom of a woman who was his host (and a future Rhodes scholar). When I taught at a very distinguished university, a man who raped a student and harassed and bullied many more was given the distinguished teaching award and rewarded with one of the highest salaries on campus despite writing nothing that anyone read or assigned. Every time I read a compilation like this I get a shock of recognition that brings back all the ways in which my career and those of the women I know have been damaged by bullies and pests. I hope we move finally move forward. When I was thirty I thought I would never need to become an angry middle aged woman. Now that I am nearly sixty, I hope that no one who is now thirty has to go through any of what I, my friends and my students have endured. The one piece I did not like was Heller's. I am not worrying about remarks, nor do I know anyone right now who is. I am worried about bad jokes; I am worried ugly remarks that are not funny and are meant to punish, screaming, about groping, about rape. And I am angry about the fact that to be a successful woman you have to put up with men who are half as qualified, twice as well paid and absolutely evil, as well as all the man and sometimes also women who protect them.
39
One's sexual being does not prevent one (man or women) from enduring "bad jokes . . . ugly remarks that are not funny . . ." or that less qualified men or women being promoted over the more qualified.
The unfortunate (and sexually active) John F. Kennedy repeated the truth:
Life is not fair.
Often, as many have observed, abusive, difficult, boorish people are promoted on up the Ladders of Success.
Most of us "endure" and survive. We may never forget unfortunate incidents.
Sometimes we may create unfortunate incidents -- because we are human beings, not Angels of Purity.
Those now thirty will almost certainly have to go through their own trials and tribulations, irritations and much worse. Let us hope we learn from our life-long educations, as those who have gone before us learned -- and often were able without destroying the lives others, to make progress.
As Robert Browning noted long ago, Heaven is for Perfection.
We're stuck with being human beings as we live and breathe.
Doug Giebel, Big Sandy, Montana
Embrace the Angry Middle-Aged Woman phase of your life - you and the rest of us - have earned it. It is kinda fun if utilized in the proper manner. ;^)
1
While I applaud the changes around sexual harassment and am overjoyed at the valuation of fundamental human dignity I've also watched this movement with a certain trepidation. My concern is that in our headlong rush to solutions--such as getting white men to intervene and hiring and promoting more women (both good things in themselves)--we may forget that in the end to solve the harassment problem we deal not just with gender, but also with power. Too many women (and some men) seem content to leave corporate/power structures in place while arguing that if only we change the gender of the players, all our problems will disappear. To paraphrase the rape argument--harassment is NOT a crime of gender, but a crime of power. It's true that nearly all harassers are men and nearly all victims are women, but I worry that this truth may blind us to other truths.
14
"corporate/power structures"
Unless you abandon any sense of proportionality both in terms of frequency and severity of incidents, it's easy to see this isn't simply about "power" and certainly not just about "corporate power structure". No, it's about individual character (lack thereof) and institutional / industry cultural norms and reward systems.
This problem is rampant in politics, media, entertainment, fashion, and to a lesser degree, academia.
Those of us who spend our lives outside of those activities usually witness far, far less of this both in terms of frequency and severity. Try a fraction of the things we're regularly reading about in a regular ole company in regular ole 'Merica and see where that gets you. Hint: You might get a very direct and "insensitive" visit from a relative or coworker. Why? Because they're not all falling over themselves to get ahead.
4
A.sizable portion of Americans are too busy taking care of their business to get hung up over a arm pressing up against them or being asked for a kiss. They have far more important things to remember and most have had far worse things happen to them in their lives.
I have struggled mightily to remember my MeToo moment but I can not find it. Not that I believe I never had one, but that these incidents were so insignificant that they were not worth the space in my brain. Most of the women that I know, work with, and have been around refuse to give bad/evil people power over them by allowing an insignificant comment or touch to impede their lives in any way.
1
Re the Jenna Wortham essay -- I want to know how men shut down that list!
And how does the list compare to the accusations that have since become public? Is anyone investigating all of the men on that list??
1
Is it forbidden, wrong, inappropriate to ask:
Are women given power ever likely to abuse that power as men have done?
Should investigative reporting include discussions of false charges of sexual harassment or other sexual misconduct?
If " power corrupts," does it corrupt only men but not women?
Are victims of false charges less "victimized" than women abused by sexual harassment? (I exclude rape and other violent crimes.)
How much reporting have you seen addressing the above questions?
Doug Giebel, Big Sandy, Montana
25
I have had women supervisors that were nasty and vicious.
1
Women are human beings and, of course, do awful things too.
How many women lie or exaggerate after divorce in custody battles over the children?
How many women teachers have sex with underage boys?
So... in matters of harassment or sexual misconduct, we should judge each case and gender on a case by case basis. That's equality.
To Doug Giebel
YES - Power Corrupts Women. The women who want/crave/seek power follow these kinds of men that are described (not all but so very many). Many of us have seen women lawyers, judges, bankers, businesswomen etc., who are more power mad then the men and abuse it in many similar ways. It's just not as pervasive and
has yet to be exposed. It, too, will see the light of day at some point. For now we are seeing the women who aided and abetted the rapists/sexual assaulters. LOTS of women are in on that game and they deserve to rot, too.
Still waiting for this movement to hit the legal industry and other formerly male-dominated professions. Still waiting . . . .
14
This comment tells you all you need to know about this witch hunt. It's about demoting men, not justice.
1
I work in the field occupational health and safety. In my profession as an industrial hygienist, we protect workers from occupational disease from toxic chemical and put systems in place to prevent industrial accidents and protect business integrity. Our discipline's basic training is engineering, toxicology, and communication.
When I started in this wonderful field of work 30 years ago, there were few women. Now I would estimate the professional field is 50-60%. I never heard a single man within the profession complain about women breaking through the old barrier.
Our local and national professional associations have been led by women and we males make no bones about it, because we respect competent people who dedicate their professional lives to saving lives and bettering the social conditions of society.
8
Yes, because you're not in media, entertainment, politics, fashion, or academia. You're in the "accountable" world where people don't generally abandon any sense of morality to get ahead. Thus, sleazy people are usually confronted and dealt with.
4
The kisssin' cousin to sexual harassment is income inequity.
I have developed a hide like a rhinoceros after 30 years in the workplace, in a variety of jobs, (from pink collar to blue collar to white collar ) but nothing can undo the economic injury caused to me (and to my family and to my retirement ) from decades of demonstrated income disparity.
I was robbed !
38
American women make more than men for the same work until 30, when they start putting their careers behind childrearing on aggregate. The gender pay gap is a myth.
1
Why did you put up with it?
No you were not robbed, you willingly left income behind. We all make the mistake of not asking for more and worse, not demanding to be paid what we are worth. Sometimes we have choices and other times we do not. People work at jobs that pay significantly less than prior jobs for many reasons. People also intentionally low-ball salary because they must have a job.
Some wise women told me that if I never asked for anything in the workplace I would never get anything. One was the daughter of a former slave and the other created and ran a major construction company in the early 1900s and an aunt who played professional baseball.
Two weeks ago I was working around the house and I had the TV on in the background. Bewitched was on. Larry Tate was at Darrin and Samantha's house. Samantha went to say something and Larry Tate Shushed her and said " Sam, Shhh men are talking." I pulled a neck muscle cringing.
20
I watched a Debbie Reynolds movie last week, Susan Slept Here. Also starring Dick Powell, the premise was, a 17 year old girl is married to keep her out of juvenile jail over the holidays. The police dropped her off because they remembered the producer, aged 35, wished to make a movie about juvenile offenders, and they did not wish to take her to jail on Christmas Eve. Her widowed mother had remarried, and moved, abandoning her daughter. After marrying her, Dick Powell's character disappeared for 6 months, the time necessary to convince a judge she has changed and shouldn't be put in prison. In the end, the 17 year old pulls him into the bedroom. The End. The commentator at the end mentioned that while appalling now, the age difference was accepted at the time the film was released. In class, I discuss the evolution of Harlequin Romance Novels, which go from 18 year olds in the 50's, to women with graduate degrees, businesses, and in their 30's today. I also have an exercise regarding fairy tales, which mostly have a woman waiting to be saved, and doing nothing to help save herself. Talking about where women have been gives an appreciation for where we now are and what has to be done.
2
Give it a little more time and the roles will be completely reversed. Men will be getting their bottoms pinched by their women bosses as they go to fetch the morning coffee.
That was one of my favorite shoes in the 60s
In hindsight, it is a period piece of patriarchy sexism. Darrin would not "let" samantha use her awesome powers (he even "made" her wash the dishes by hand when she could have blinked them clean) she always had to fool him. (He was a dope so That was pretty easy) .) Darrin was a fop, and Sam was a sucker, reduced to being a sneak.
The only one who understood her power and had any jam was Endora.
It is time for women of means to get together and start their own music production companies, restaurants and businesses. They should also abandon man-made religions and Gods made to the image of man. They should focus on ethics and education. They should also continue to shame, denounce, expose and boycott all of their businesses. They should run for office, they'll have a lot of support from other women, minorities and males who care for their spouses, daughters and everyone who feels dispossessed and oppressed which is the majority of people. Start talking openly to your children. The trajectory for radical change in thinking has already begun and will continue until the gender equilibrium settles. There is no return.
8
So are men allowed to have "men only" companies if women are? Should men vote for only men, as you suggest women should vote for only women? By this logic, should whites vote only for whites? You sound like a KKK member with your pronouns swapped around.
2
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/memaybe-jill-higgs/
My mother wrote this the other day as part of her blog. A good view on how Women have taken on this role as the years have passed by
Men make money to have control of women. The one thing nobody is discussing is WHY men strive for success. For men, money = sex. Wait. let me amend that. For men, money = sex and Porsches. That's more accurate. Show me a successful businessman or entrepreneur, and I'll show you a man with a high sex drive. I know a lot of smart academics, and very few of them have strong sex drives. The men I know who pursue the almighty dollar tend to think about sex all the time. It's almost a rule of thumb that very successful men are obsessed with sex.
12
I think it has more to do with power. Money equals power in our society. The more power you have the easier it is to buy and influence people. If you have enough money, you can just about buy any person.
1
hey richguy, Bill Gates or Warren Buffett don't come across as sex crazed men. On the other hand, most of the jail population is lecherous. Your "rule of thumb" doesn't seem to hold.
The woman in your image has literally been beheaded, reduced only to her body.
Is that how you see women?
Interesting thoughts and comments. I could relate to many of them. As I approach the end of a working life, I can reflect back on what I dealt with in the workplace. With a few delightful exceptions, I was kept firmly in "my place". Don't offer opinions, don't present any worthwhile information, etc. I mean, why would I? I'm just a woman. A smart one, by the way.
18
If you think you are 'just a woman', so you will be treated. I find that more than any idea of this being about women vs men, or how women may be viewed, that it's about how people perceive and carry themselves in many instances. Sure, there may be some truly strong women who are still going to be harassed, but in many instance the problems stem from the women being weak and insecure (and certain predatory men having radar, and understanding only too well, whom they could easily target) and/or the instances were the result of simple miscommunications and/or the woman giving out mixed signals and then 'changing her mind' and deciding that the man's natural, innocuous overtures are now harassment or inappropriate. Not everything that is being called 'harassment' in this current wave of claims, is necessarily so. This 'trend' has swung too far, and as a female, I want to distance myself from this salivating pack of women.
7
More blame the victim and playing right into the hands of predators.
Men rape one-year-old baby girls, as well as 80-year-old grandmothers. One in four women have been raped, half of them under the age of 18 and half of those under the age of 12. I suppose all their victimization was due to them not carrying themselves well and miscommunication with the rapist.
Some women are complicit with rape culture. You are one of them.
Thank you, Zoe Heller. You've articulated something that has been nagging me. I welcome the rise of women saying "enough!" to cultural norms that seem to shrug off sexual harrassment and assault. But I also lament how the opening of the floodgates seem to have swept up every perceived inappropriate comment or action. What has bugged me about the conversation is that it always casts women in the role of being a victim, and powerless. I welcome a culture change that ends systematic harrassment and assault, but I also want my girls to know they are not powerless in many--not all, but many--situations. There will always be jerks and inappropriate people; we need to shut down the big offenders, but we also need to not crumble every time someone says something rude or offensive.
49
In the work place men have said inappropriate things (not many) and women as well. There will always be that guy or that lady. I had a boss that called you little person and when you did something wrong you were bad person but something right you were good person. An off color joke is not harassment. If I wear a short skirt to work maybe some guy will look at my legs. If a guy wears a tight tee shirt maybe some girl will oggle his abs. Go to any night club. I think the lines are blurred between real harassment and life.
The problem is that when someone says something rude and offensive it means that they will also work to displace you from the workplace, e.g. get fired.
Men who hold the reins of power now have a deep systemic fear of having their lives destroyed by an errant act or remark. Will this trepidation advance gender equity? I don't think so. We will take a step back. This is the unintended consequence of zero tolerance for sexual misconduct where there's no sense of proportionality. The tactical strategy of the #MeToo movement zealots may in the end undermine women. We don't have a solid definition of harassment that everyone agrees on yet. Some might consider an obscene joke as harassment, while others may not. What about an admiring glance? An unconscious "noticing" of an attractive woman? Until we define what constitutes punishable sexual misconduct the real change women seek will never happen.
2
This is all about environment and upbringing with underlying biological urges. What is needed is a comprehensive code of conduct with consequences, one that motivates people to do the right thing and teach proper conduct to their children.
6
"This is all about environment and upbringing with underlying biological urges." Underlying biological urges have nothing to do with sexual harassment. Power manifested by men to keep women in their place. In the animal kingdom, alpha or dominate males will hump other males to demonstrate dominance; humans do the same. Ideally having a comprehensive code of conduct with teeth, and also having protection for those employees who report misconduct would be nice. We do already have laws on the books where serious criminal allegations of sexual harassment can result in expensive lawsuits or jail time. What is different this time around the sexual harassment carousel is the number of women who are willing to speak up and the number of people who are willing to take these charges seriously and demand action.
5
Like the conversations about gun control after mass shootings, this too shall pass without real change.
19
Maybe only after we figure out a way to permanently change human nature, of course then we won't be human anymore in which case we'll sort of be up a tree. Best to just stay there.
1
So you think male human nature is to be predatory? Maybe men should have a curfew since their nature is to rape, commit crimes of violence and to sexually harass women and girls.
1
Reality check women werent left out there jobs that paid living wage was stolen. World war two women made up 80 percent of skilled jobs made those weapons for our miltary . Those skilled jobs now been exported out of country an those products brought back to be sold to our government using there tax money paid by low skilled jobs an minium wage. Presently women now faced with little no hope providing for there familys leads to serous problems like sexual harassment . The conflicts between women an men or men an women never been worse the family circle proves this.
1
Men and women probably really haven't changed as much as the society they live in has. A lot of blame for this change in relationship dynamic has more to do with that than anything else. But blaming the man now lets Eve get to wear the fig leaf.
1
Isn't Eve responsible for "original sin"?
Women make more than men in American until age 30, at which point the statistics get muddied by childbirth. Look it up.
I do not trust this revolution, this sea change. I wish I did. To me it is the equivalent of a Wall Street bubble. Heads have rolled. Brave women have spoken out. But the belief in the behaviors to which powerful men think they are entitled will endure as they have since the beginning of written history. My own defenses were built when I first walked by a NYC construction site as a frightened teenage girl and continued in the work place when the president of the company called me at home in the wee hours of the night. I was never threatened overtly -- but I felt threatened. My defenses were necessary -- and sadly it is not time for me or any woman to let them go.
21
Do you really believe that men do not have the same defenses? It is called self defense and everyone must have these skills. If you put them aside, people will take advantage. Women in power take advantage of workers that will not defend themselves the same as men.
1
It is good for all concerned to have the issues of gender/sexual harassment raised on a national level. It is long overdue.
Given that the numerical majority of white women enthusiastically supported Donald Trump and are indifferent to his denigration of women, it naturally follows that they would raise their sons to behave like him (and they do) and raise their daughters to manipulate men like that to their advantage (and they do as well).
So that begs the question to progressive feminists: how do you address your sisters in the conservative wing? How do you convince them to raise their sons to be respectful to women and men alike? People do not end up as they are by accident - children are trained daily by example to become the adults they are.
25
Sounds like you are trying to mansplain to conservative women, why don't you let them vote for the candidate they feel best represents their interests?
1
" How do you address your sisters in the conservative wing? How do you convince them to raise their sons to be respectful to women and men alike? People do not end up as they are by accident - children are trained daily by example to become the adults they are. "
This is so true. Cultural actions and activities do not fall out of the sky. The vast majority of white women in Alabama voted for Roy Moore, which should once again disabuse anyone that thinks these men or the society that all of us live an work in is an accident. Until and unless the fundamentals of our society change, we will see more of the same and probably worse as those in power figure out a way to counter the current challenges.
4
This is the responsibility of all of society, men included. Not just progressive women.
4
So far it seems that finance is one of the very few industries not affected by charges of sexual bias, harassment, or assault. Perhaps we should examine Wall Street to find out why it has remained so pure.
Or is it so pure? Were the movies "Wall Street" and "The Wolf of Wall Street" fiction based on no reality? I really don't understand what is going on here---
I hope there will be some first rate investigative journalism on this issue.
12
The golden rule of finance is make money. Let's say a boss fancies his female employee. Let's say she brings in 10 million a year for the company. The boss, despite his desire, won't risk alienating that golden goose. A boss at a media company knows that he can replace an employee pretty easily, but a boss at a hedgefund knows it's hard to replace a successful Duke MBA. The women on Wall Street tend to be much more well educated that the aspiring actress and aspiring sous chefs whom we have been hearing from.
My guess is that on Wall Street lust for money overcomes lust for women. No boss of a successful hedgefund will risk upsetting the apple cart when the cart is brining in 100 million a year. Revenue amounts on Wall Street absolutely dwarf those of the other industries being discussed.
Men on Wall St also probably have a lot more respect for their NYU Stern educated female co-workers and employees than some film producer has for the barely educated aspiring actresses he meets.
7
Oh please.
Wall Street, private equity, venture capital -- in all of these fields, and the in the technology companies who support them -- females are all young, pretty and seen as nothing more than eye candy.
8
men in power harass women they consider disposable or replaceable. an unknown actress is replaceable. a world class Berkeley educated female lawyer is much less replaceable. Many female restaurant workers get harassed, in part, because male managers think of those women as 100% replaceable. Anyone can wait tables or tend bar. Not everyone can close accounts with Pepsi and Alpo.
1
I appreciate the sentiments of this special section, and the combination of art and writing is an interesting experiment. I have to say though, that the image used as the title shot is very off-putting.
6