There is much fussing in the comments below about Kyle coming from a prosperous family.
We don't select our parents, or their social class.
Many in America are born into poor families, even more into middle class families, and somewhat fewer into quite prosperous families.
It is what you, as an individual, do with your birth circumstances that matters.
A wealthy kid like Kyle could have spent every summer working as an assistant tennis pro at the country club. Or as sailing instructor at the best Marina in San Diego. That is how an "entitled" prosperous kid usually operates.
Kyle could have taken that path. Gone straight through college with comfortable upper class summer vacations.
In fact he took a few risks, worried his parents a bit by dropping out for a year, got a bit of experience beyond the country club and the marina.
Why should we fault him for the accident of having been born prosperous.
I was born into the frugal middle class. That gave me privileges that kids born poor didn't have. But I don't expect to be berated for having started out with frugal middle class advantages.
We don't select our parents, or their social class.
Many in America are born into poor families, even more into middle class families, and somewhat fewer into quite prosperous families.
It is what you, as an individual, do with your birth circumstances that matters.
A wealthy kid like Kyle could have spent every summer working as an assistant tennis pro at the country club. Or as sailing instructor at the best Marina in San Diego. That is how an "entitled" prosperous kid usually operates.
Kyle could have taken that path. Gone straight through college with comfortable upper class summer vacations.
In fact he took a few risks, worried his parents a bit by dropping out for a year, got a bit of experience beyond the country club and the marina.
Why should we fault him for the accident of having been born prosperous.
I was born into the frugal middle class. That gave me privileges that kids born poor didn't have. But I don't expect to be berated for having started out with frugal middle class advantages.
28
You've got it right. Resenting the wealthy is comparable to disparaging the poor.
13
A year of study abroad can accomplish the same thing as a gap year and preserve educational momentum.
6
A "packaged year abroad" (Smith Junior Year in France. Rutgers Semester in Switzerland, etc) can be almost useless.
American kids taking courses in English with other American kids.
Learning how to order beer and wine in German or French.
Fun, but of little value when compared to a self-reliant and independent gap year
American kids taking courses in English with other American kids.
Learning how to order beer and wine in German or French.
Fun, but of little value when compared to a self-reliant and independent gap year
11
Not exactly. I spent my junior year abroad in England. It was a pretty sheltered environment with other students, I joined the cricket club and watched footy with kids from Liverpool. I did learn how to use public transportation (I grew up in Southern CA/car country). I would food shop and prepare my own meals. I had time to travel but again in a student setting.
But without my junior year abroad, I probably would not have been selected for a US State Department internship in London. At the Embassy I worked in different departments with a variety of people both US diplomats, US military, and British workers. I probably would not have been selected to an internship with the National Park Service in Jamestown, VA - again meeting and working with people from a variety of backgrounds (Park Rangers, visitors, living historians, and archeologists). Being in different work settings gave me exposure to various jobs and skills needed for certain careers/work. The main lesson I learned from both internships is to research, problem-solve, and learn how to get along with people/be a team player.
But without my junior year abroad, I probably would not have been selected for a US State Department internship in London. At the Embassy I worked in different departments with a variety of people both US diplomats, US military, and British workers. I probably would not have been selected to an internship with the National Park Service in Jamestown, VA - again meeting and working with people from a variety of backgrounds (Park Rangers, visitors, living historians, and archeologists). Being in different work settings gave me exposure to various jobs and skills needed for certain careers/work. The main lesson I learned from both internships is to research, problem-solve, and learn how to get along with people/be a team player.
10
I read this with great interest because my oldest child went right from high school to college, at age 17 - she could not fathom taking a break since going to Brown was her be all end all. There was no need for her to reflect or figure out anything. My second child took a gap year between high school and college, and he says it got him to where he is now. He taught himself how to program, studied Latin in Rome, and just generally decompressed. He's graduating next month with honors from Harvard. My third child, a high school senior, is thinking about a gap year - with pressure from his older sibs, who are at odds based on their own experiences. Part of me thinks this child should go right onto college because he needs the momentum...the momentum is critical for him. But, I can also see that he could take the time to think about what he wants to study, since he's undecided. Thoughts?
8
20 years after college, I've always regretted not being allowed to take a year off. I hope that if my own daughter makes a reasoned argument for a gap year, I'll be flexible enough to say yes.
At 18, I realized I was wasting my parents' inheritance aimlessly taking courses with zero goal or direction at an Ivy League college. I begged for some time off to think about what I wanted to accomplish with the opportunity. "If you leave now, you'll never go back," I was told. "Finish your degree, then think all you like."
So I did. I enjoyed many classes, the college atmosphere, and the freedom of dorm life, but it wasn't the best use of $150,000 (back then!), and I graduated into several years of non-lucrative aimlessness as a result. I finally did focus, and got a whole lot more out of graduate school -- which I chose carefully, and financed myself. Why shouldn't college be that way?
At 18, I realized I was wasting my parents' inheritance aimlessly taking courses with zero goal or direction at an Ivy League college. I begged for some time off to think about what I wanted to accomplish with the opportunity. "If you leave now, you'll never go back," I was told. "Finish your degree, then think all you like."
So I did. I enjoyed many classes, the college atmosphere, and the freedom of dorm life, but it wasn't the best use of $150,000 (back then!), and I graduated into several years of non-lucrative aimlessness as a result. I finally did focus, and got a whole lot more out of graduate school -- which I chose carefully, and financed myself. Why shouldn't college be that way?
10
Love this article. I also took a gap year, after a lackluster year at UC San Diego. Same story here as well, parents kicked me out of the house, and I had to find my own way for a year. It was the most formative times of my entire life. I lived at my then-girlfriends mom house, worked retail at Pottery Barn Kids with a suite of menopausal, slightly disapproving mothers, and in the evenings taught myself to program. I learned what real life is like, that no employer really cares about your dreams and if you want to achieve them, you just have to seek them out on your own time.
I don't know where I'd be without my gap year.
Long story short, after my year, I went back to community college in Berkeley, started a VR company in my spare time and then transferred to UC berkeley to study computer science. It's amazing here, I know what working in the real world is like, so I treat school like I treat a job. I don't miss any lectures (like I used to my freshman year), I finish every assignment; because of my experiences, I just go and treat learning like I'm being paid for it.
I would recommend a gap year to every highschooler I meet. It changed my life and gave me a maturity and perspective that I don't think I could have gotten anywhere in school.
I don't know where I'd be without my gap year.
Long story short, after my year, I went back to community college in Berkeley, started a VR company in my spare time and then transferred to UC berkeley to study computer science. It's amazing here, I know what working in the real world is like, so I treat school like I treat a job. I don't miss any lectures (like I used to my freshman year), I finish every assignment; because of my experiences, I just go and treat learning like I'm being paid for it.
I would recommend a gap year to every highschooler I meet. It changed my life and gave me a maturity and perspective that I don't think I could have gotten anywhere in school.
15
Judging by the negative comments, there's a lot of bitter, angry people out there. I say: Bravo Kyle! Good on you. These angry people need compassion and understanding too, but also they offer a window into why we have the current President.
9
Well said!! There's truly baskets full of bitter people!!
4
"And I did leave the restaurant behind, as soon as I had saved enough money to travel for a few months." Really? After working for $5/hour and paying $400/month in rent, you can buy a ticket to Indonesia and travel around? Everyone needs to know the secret of this Gap Year math!
10
I was confused by that too but I think he means his share was half the $400.
2
We don't value what's handed to us on a platter. My parents were denied higher education, so they came to this country to make sure that I had one. I was expected to go to college and so I did, but once I got there I wasted my time. A gap year could have made all the difference.
5
There seem to be three broad categories of responses to this essay:
1) People who also took some form of gap year, learned from it and encourage others to do the same
2) People who didn't take gap year (held back back by fear, inertia or the belief they didn't have enough money) and now, looking back, wish they had taken a chance and done somethink like Kyle
3) People who feel virtuous in pointing out that Kyle came from a prosperous family and had some advantages that they (the commenters) did not. This group sees little purpose in gap years and views them as entertainment for the entitled.
From this mix, the comments I like best are from the people who didn't have too much money or a great deal of privilege, but managed to take some constructive breaks from university - sometimes by going into the Navy or working construction in Alaska.
The saddest comments are from older people who chose the safe path, had few adventures in life and are now looking back on a life non-very-well-spent.
The lessons from all of this seem obvious. Carpe Diem!
1) People who also took some form of gap year, learned from it and encourage others to do the same
2) People who didn't take gap year (held back back by fear, inertia or the belief they didn't have enough money) and now, looking back, wish they had taken a chance and done somethink like Kyle
3) People who feel virtuous in pointing out that Kyle came from a prosperous family and had some advantages that they (the commenters) did not. This group sees little purpose in gap years and views them as entertainment for the entitled.
From this mix, the comments I like best are from the people who didn't have too much money or a great deal of privilege, but managed to take some constructive breaks from university - sometimes by going into the Navy or working construction in Alaska.
The saddest comments are from older people who chose the safe path, had few adventures in life and are now looking back on a life non-very-well-spent.
The lessons from all of this seem obvious. Carpe Diem!
15
Nice summary!!
5
I guess I'm an older person so I'll comment John. I think I had all three of the responses when I read this well written story. I was happy that my military service (gap) gave my direction and experience prior to college. I wish I had taken more time and traveled the world as a youngster. And yes I always envied the rich kids till I realized the privilege I had as a white male. I'm happy to see so many different perspectives in the comments. Old men should be explorers!
4
As a septuagenarian (mid ranks), I agree that old men should be explorers. Also youths, adolescents, twenty-somethings and everyone else..
I constructed a life that took me all over the world and allowed for almost 35 years of living in other people's countries (recounted in various posts down this thread).
Don't regret a day of it and I am forever urging people to step out of their lives and take some risks.
As to your point about wealth and privilege, I'll wager that every commenter in this string is in the global top 4 percent. Even posters who are working for thin wages as adjunct professors an posters who run cat adoption centers in Shawnee Mission KS.
We should not let resources define out lives and experiences.
I constructed a life that took me all over the world and allowed for almost 35 years of living in other people's countries (recounted in various posts down this thread).
Don't regret a day of it and I am forever urging people to step out of their lives and take some risks.
As to your point about wealth and privilege, I'll wager that every commenter in this string is in the global top 4 percent. Even posters who are working for thin wages as adjunct professors an posters who run cat adoption centers in Shawnee Mission KS.
We should not let resources define out lives and experiences.
4
I hail from Singapore, an island state ( yes, are the island state that bans chewing gums) where national service is mandatory for all males.
The two year interval between high school and college provides a brief respite from the relentless academic rat race and paper trails that we are subjected to ( yes, we are the island state whose youthful inhabitants TOP PISA Charts and OECD rankings for Maths,science, reading and writing)
We joke that girls outstrip us in academic qualifications while we are in National service. But guys invariably fare better than their counterparts upon entering the university course because of our time for maturation and formation of identity.
The two years stint in the army does provide perspective for time outside of school to think, reflect and derive meaning for education- something that you don't get much on on a rat race.
GAP year or not, owning your education ( or more broadly, your life) matters.
Thanks Carl, from the citizen whose country bans chewing gum
The two year interval between high school and college provides a brief respite from the relentless academic rat race and paper trails that we are subjected to ( yes, we are the island state whose youthful inhabitants TOP PISA Charts and OECD rankings for Maths,science, reading and writing)
We joke that girls outstrip us in academic qualifications while we are in National service. But guys invariably fare better than their counterparts upon entering the university course because of our time for maturation and formation of identity.
The two years stint in the army does provide perspective for time outside of school to think, reflect and derive meaning for education- something that you don't get much on on a rat race.
GAP year or not, owning your education ( or more broadly, your life) matters.
Thanks Carl, from the citizen whose country bans chewing gum
5
I decided to take some time off from college in 1973 when my national defense student loan and work-study program was cut back and no longer covered the cost of college. Seven years later I reenrolled and finished my bachelors degree.
I'm reminded of the Pink Floyd song named time. One day you look and 10 years have got behind you, no one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.
My point is; if the modern rat race is your thing don't take any time off at all or if you do, be sure you have a strong plan to reengage.
I'm reminded of the Pink Floyd song named time. One day you look and 10 years have got behind you, no one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.
My point is; if the modern rat race is your thing don't take any time off at all or if you do, be sure you have a strong plan to reengage.
3
All the young surfers should take heed here. I have a sneaking suspicion that obsession with waves put Kyle on a downward spiral of motivation in his first few years of school. Once you are bitten by the surf bug you will, more or less, have to deal with it for the rest of your life.
There is a real possibility that the pursuit of waves will make you a derelict.
We are all required to find a balance in life. No matter your financial position you need to find out what's important. Nobody gets a pass on this.
There is a real possibility that the pursuit of waves will make you a derelict.
We are all required to find a balance in life. No matter your financial position you need to find out what's important. Nobody gets a pass on this.
1
Nah! Great for him to see the world! Will make sure my kids do the same!! I did, too!!! That's how I met my wife!!! Love and cherish it each day!! So, kids out there, go get out there!!!
2
The author took a step in the right direction with financial independence, but has a long ways to go still with understanding just how privileged his life has been. One year of paying for life on your own does not mean you understand what it means to be poor. How much stuff did his parents pay for in his 20 or so years of life before he decided to be independent for one year? How did that benefit his ability to take a gap year?
The author and some of these comments suggest that even poor kids can take gap years if they do it cheaply like the author had done. I completely disagree. Poor kids work all through high school to pay for everyday living, which means they don't even get a chance to save money for college, much less a gap year. It isn't simply a matter of prioritizing differently. Even getting a passport is a huge cost when you are poor. Not to mention, the author had his parents to rely on when he got back to the US and likely as a crutch if anything had gone too wrong.
This article and the comments makes me feel that we have a long ways to go to understanding poor in America. Maybe more gaps years should be spent here in the US.
The author and some of these comments suggest that even poor kids can take gap years if they do it cheaply like the author had done. I completely disagree. Poor kids work all through high school to pay for everyday living, which means they don't even get a chance to save money for college, much less a gap year. It isn't simply a matter of prioritizing differently. Even getting a passport is a huge cost when you are poor. Not to mention, the author had his parents to rely on when he got back to the US and likely as a crutch if anything had gone too wrong.
This article and the comments makes me feel that we have a long ways to go to understanding poor in America. Maybe more gaps years should be spent here in the US.
9
I wish I had done the same. It wasn't if I wanted to go to college but where. I applied to 2 schools, one a women's college. I had no idea what I was going to do in life, having grown up in an era where the message was you go to college to find a husband.
Luckily, I only stayed 1 year at the girls school, a complete mismatch; most wore pink & green and Italian shoes, I often went barefoot & wore overalls. Might seem normal now, this was in 1972. I convinced my parents to let me attend UCDavis after that. I loved it & found my passion but was too immature to stake my claim & stay in California. My parents taught me to be completely dependent on them.
I don't want to hear about how entitled I was. My father was dirt poor in the 1920s. Started working when he was 5. His father had a stroke and made candy. My dad walked along the waterfront selling it. Because he was so poor but then became successful--thru education, he & my mom didn't want the children to struggle. It ended up leading most of us, 6 children, to struggle much more.
I didn't "grow up" much until my late 50s. Having things handed to you by loving parents can be extremely debilitating. Even crippling. Emotional maturity, far more important than financial stability, is necessary to survive.
The writer seems to have overcome one hurdle, learning how to take care of himself. College itself does not teach that class. I know. I teach at a college. And I know from personal experience.
Luckily, I only stayed 1 year at the girls school, a complete mismatch; most wore pink & green and Italian shoes, I often went barefoot & wore overalls. Might seem normal now, this was in 1972. I convinced my parents to let me attend UCDavis after that. I loved it & found my passion but was too immature to stake my claim & stay in California. My parents taught me to be completely dependent on them.
I don't want to hear about how entitled I was. My father was dirt poor in the 1920s. Started working when he was 5. His father had a stroke and made candy. My dad walked along the waterfront selling it. Because he was so poor but then became successful--thru education, he & my mom didn't want the children to struggle. It ended up leading most of us, 6 children, to struggle much more.
I didn't "grow up" much until my late 50s. Having things handed to you by loving parents can be extremely debilitating. Even crippling. Emotional maturity, far more important than financial stability, is necessary to survive.
The writer seems to have overcome one hurdle, learning how to take care of himself. College itself does not teach that class. I know. I teach at a college. And I know from personal experience.
5
Great narrative! Sure the author had some advantages that others may not including the opportunity to attend a private (and expensive) university and supportive, concerned and loving parents. However I am so impressed with the author's maturity and self awareness to acknowledge he was not engaged in his studies and skimming through college. He "owned" this did what he thought necessary. Many folks (I include myself) do not mature to this degree of awareness until almost twice the author's age. I am sure his parents are proud. I know I would be.
6
I love reading about adventures and risks I'm too scared to take. Sounds like you had life changing experiences. Thanks for your insight.
5
You took ownership of your own life against the will of your parents. I think that's the key ingredient that resulted in your future success. Good on ya, mate.
8
The writer happens to be from a relatively well off background as he states. Does that imply that one needs to be rich to take a gap year!?!
No, it doesn't!!
There's tons of ways most people take gap years that are quite affordable. People work on farms, work in hostels in exchange for stay, take jobs where they're traveling, stay in hostels, share travel expenses with other travelers etc!
You don't need to be rich to take a gap year! You need to want to do so enough to make it a priority!!
Just because the writer happens to be from a rich background doesn't imply one needs to be rich to do so!! I travel every year or other year on a tiny budget after a year on minimum wage! I have a friend who save for a few months and travels after etc! It's a question of priorities!!!
No, it doesn't!!
There's tons of ways most people take gap years that are quite affordable. People work on farms, work in hostels in exchange for stay, take jobs where they're traveling, stay in hostels, share travel expenses with other travelers etc!
You don't need to be rich to take a gap year! You need to want to do so enough to make it a priority!!
Just because the writer happens to be from a rich background doesn't imply one needs to be rich to do so!! I travel every year or other year on a tiny budget after a year on minimum wage! I have a friend who save for a few months and travels after etc! It's a question of priorities!!!
8
Although I think gap years are almost unbearably pretentious, really a child designation past the date of childhood, I have to admit that I was in no shape for elite college at 18. It was a waste of money, and wasn't a good use of my time. We continue to conflate the eventual success of bright people with the time they spend or waste at particular schools. Schools train followers. Above a certain level it is a little absurd to expect leaders to be followers. The entire rationale for the place never made sense to me.
8
Good point. In some countries like Ireland, for example, it can be how well you've done in you local football league (GAA) that will insure your future career success than anything else, especially as a politician.
2
I applaud the author's courage to share his experience on his gap year and brace himself for an onslaught of comments on his privileged status. Which is somewhat missing the point and of a flawed logic. Should you not eat the food at your table because someone is starving elsewhere? I think not. If you can have a gap year, go for it. And it is never too late, even adults who find themselves lost, should consider a sabbatical. We are often too afraid to pause even when in our hearts we know something is wrong. The price of not doing so is higher down the road than doing it now.
There is one point in the article which I take issue with - linking his lack of motivation in college with having a well-paved and cushy life provided by his parents. Going to the beach instead of studying is a choice. There are plenty who don't have to worry about money and still choose to apply themselves.
There is one point in the article which I take issue with - linking his lack of motivation in college with having a well-paved and cushy life provided by his parents. Going to the beach instead of studying is a choice. There are plenty who don't have to worry about money and still choose to apply themselves.
11
My decidedly middle-class parents got me into a prep school which "led" me directly to a very prestigious university, where I was granted a full-tuition scholarship. I was uncomfortable with the "lock-step" feel of it. I had worked very hard in school, and in restaurants and factories to help pay for what I could, but I just didn't feel I had chosen it. When my father lost his job my 2nd year, I went home to work, but didn't return when the opportunity soon came around. My attitude just couldn't support it, so I stayed out a year. Being feckless was a big part of it, and I ended up doing day labor much of the time after. I inquired with the school about returning after 9 months, and lucky me, the gold mine scholarship was still sitting there, waiting for the "hardship case." I had known all along that was the right thing, that I shouldn't throw away such a rich opportunity, so fortunate as I was. But after that year away, my parents backing off and not pushing me, I felt like I was finally choosing for myself. Looking back, I can see what an incredible, and potentially foolish luxury that time out was, not to mention how it must have felt to my parents, who had worked so hard to give me that chance. But it all worked out - got the degree, eventually a good career [fecklessness not completely left behind], where I needed to go, God not giving up on me, even when I sometimes did. I wanted a "gap year," being wildly fortunate to be able to leave and return. Best to all in this.
10
I think this article -- and apparently the writer -- confuse the basic idea of a "gap year" with high-end tourism and expensive "adventure" tours.
Gap years can certainly be useful for people unsure of their plans. Or people who feel like they need to mature or grow up more before college. Or people who want some real-work, work experience before college or grad school.
But why is that idea conflated with $20K "adventure travel"?
Why not do some simple service for a year?
You know, find a worthwhile cause and do some good. Maybe get paid minimum wage (like a lot of people without choices). Maybe volunteer if you can afford it. But why does this have to entail paying some operator to "provide an experience"?
If you're set on travel, work for 6 months and then backpack for 6 months like a lot of people did.
There's nothing "spoiled" or "elitist"a about gap years per se, but there IS something spoiled and elitist about touting exotic travel in such a smug, self-important way. And likewise, about playing up the "hardships" of having real-life, low-paying jobs when you know you can quit at any time.
And he fact that there such a thing as an "American Gap Association" speaks volumes about things. The edu-profiteers have arrived here!
"The idea that gap years are inherently elitist may be due to the potentially high cost of travel and of independent programs, which offer a structured experience — adventure, service ... education — that can cost upward of $20,000."
Gap years can certainly be useful for people unsure of their plans. Or people who feel like they need to mature or grow up more before college. Or people who want some real-work, work experience before college or grad school.
But why is that idea conflated with $20K "adventure travel"?
Why not do some simple service for a year?
You know, find a worthwhile cause and do some good. Maybe get paid minimum wage (like a lot of people without choices). Maybe volunteer if you can afford it. But why does this have to entail paying some operator to "provide an experience"?
If you're set on travel, work for 6 months and then backpack for 6 months like a lot of people did.
There's nothing "spoiled" or "elitist"a about gap years per se, but there IS something spoiled and elitist about touting exotic travel in such a smug, self-important way. And likewise, about playing up the "hardships" of having real-life, low-paying jobs when you know you can quit at any time.
And he fact that there such a thing as an "American Gap Association" speaks volumes about things. The edu-profiteers have arrived here!
"The idea that gap years are inherently elitist may be due to the potentially high cost of travel and of independent programs, which offer a structured experience — adventure, service ... education — that can cost upward of $20,000."
13
I think you are reading too much into it. Films like "The Endless Summer" almost define an American obsession with surfing. And don't forget the surfing scene in Apocalypse Now "...you either surf or fight, is that clear?" . It doesn't all have to come together for someone when they are 18 or 19, and it seldom does, so let's all get off our high horses here.
6
I asked my father to allow me a gap year -- an actual working gap year, not galavanting around the world on a trust fund, picking up odd jobs for pocket money -- and he refused. He said precisely the same thing the writer's father did: you will never go back. How wrong that decision was. My university allowed both delayed matriculation after acceptance, and taking a year or two off without having to reapply. They encouraged such breaks, in fact. Unfortunately, because of parental abuse and a horrid home life through most of my youth, I was too emotionally scattered and scarred to take full advantage of what my top university had to offer. I was not immature, just not in possession of a viable self image. I did graduate with good marks, but a I had no life direction or job training, or mentors. If I'd had a year or two of solid work behind me, I would have fared much better than I did in my twenties. I think parents have to put their own aims aside sometimes and loosen up on the reins when their kids want to follow their own paths. They need to listen, and trust. Almost everyone I know who took a gap year (or two) -- whether before university or between years -- benefited enormously from the experience. I do know one guy who never went back, but I think his true intention at the time was to drop out. (That wasn't what he told his parents at the time, of course.) He found his own life path without the help of college. He builds houses now. He does very well, and is happy.
14
I wanted to take a GAP year after sophomore year in college: my mother's death, sex and love, had played havoc with my studies and grades. I went to a school that was much too hard for me -- and the idea of taking organic chem terrified me-- bye bye pre-med major, hello art history -- much more difficult than medical school ultimately -- you arelly do have to be able to read and speak in foreign languages plus the fact that the humanities are relatively endless. I think taking the year off after Freshman year was genius. One year away from home and now out into the world. All kinds of new skills now developed -- job hunting, cooking, getting y, getting up... nice article.
12
What a shame that some folks have to get all snarky about this (or any) kid taking a gap year.
Our little girl will soon be college age and her Dad and I are doing all we can to get her to open up to ALL the possibilities this world has to offer. There is great benefit to "see the world"; something Americans seem to have closed their minds to; witness the small percentage of Americans who have a passport. To date we've taken her with us to Mexico, Iceland and the Netherlands, in the least tourist-y way possible.
Lest one should wonder, we are not one of the one, two, five, ten or twenty-percenters; our household income is probably half of the average middle class American. It's all about priorities, and our priority is to enrich our kid's life any way we can.
Our little girl will soon be college age and her Dad and I are doing all we can to get her to open up to ALL the possibilities this world has to offer. There is great benefit to "see the world"; something Americans seem to have closed their minds to; witness the small percentage of Americans who have a passport. To date we've taken her with us to Mexico, Iceland and the Netherlands, in the least tourist-y way possible.
Lest one should wonder, we are not one of the one, two, five, ten or twenty-percenters; our household income is probably half of the average middle class American. It's all about priorities, and our priority is to enrich our kid's life any way we can.
9
When did Americans start calling taking year off before or, according to this piece, during college a "gap year"? It was a British phrase entirely missing from American terminology when I was in college 3 decades ago. Seems like bogus millenials and their parents trying to sound important... but maybe I missed something????
4
For all the nay-sayers out there, complaining about how you or someone you know have to scrub dishes all the time, well aren't you lucky? Half the world doesn't even have running water. Stop looking down your nose at someone else's privilege, and check your own.
Getting back to the benefits of taking a Gap Year - it's not just for college students. I went directly from high school, to college, to medical school. By the end of my first year of med school I was incredibly burned out, depressed, and absolutely dreading the coming 7+ years of education and residency looming ahead of me. I had lost all perspective and motivation.
So I hatched a plan. Over the course of a year, I cobbled together savings from jobs, research and travel grants and left as soon as I finished my second year exams. I spent a month trekking in Jammu-Kashmir with Himalayan Health Exchange, setting up clinics for Tibetan refugees in isolated villages. I then spent five months traveling around rural India working on a public health project, followed by five months on the trauma unit at a public hospital in South Africa. I worked, wrote, explored, learned - and most importantly regained an appreciation for why I was slogging through medical school in the first place.
I've been a full-fledged physician for four years now, and I split my time between rural hospitals in the US and abroad. You socio-economic status doesn't matter; if you're creative, you'll find a way to swing it. And you must go.
Getting back to the benefits of taking a Gap Year - it's not just for college students. I went directly from high school, to college, to medical school. By the end of my first year of med school I was incredibly burned out, depressed, and absolutely dreading the coming 7+ years of education and residency looming ahead of me. I had lost all perspective and motivation.
So I hatched a plan. Over the course of a year, I cobbled together savings from jobs, research and travel grants and left as soon as I finished my second year exams. I spent a month trekking in Jammu-Kashmir with Himalayan Health Exchange, setting up clinics for Tibetan refugees in isolated villages. I then spent five months traveling around rural India working on a public health project, followed by five months on the trauma unit at a public hospital in South Africa. I worked, wrote, explored, learned - and most importantly regained an appreciation for why I was slogging through medical school in the first place.
I've been a full-fledged physician for four years now, and I split my time between rural hospitals in the US and abroad. You socio-economic status doesn't matter; if you're creative, you'll find a way to swing it. And you must go.
17
Funny, I was lucky enough to have college paid for by my family too, and yet when I got there, I wasn't "unable" to appreciate it or use it as a step towards independence simply because I had never been independent before. I worked hard (despite being in a beautiful locale where it would have been a lot easier to head towards nature with my friends), got a part time job in a coffee shop that I kept for all four years complete with promotions and raises, and graduated with honors. As far as parental support, I have been totally financially independent since finishing school. Perhaps it's not the simple fact of a privileged life that led to this writer's inability to approach college in a productive way the first time. It's a shame, because gap years present intriguing possibilities. This story does nothing to further that discussion.
7
I took a gap year. I'm 55 now, so it's been awhile. My "gap year" was decided by cancer, my mothers to be exact. My father traveled for his business, my older siblings were out of the house. My gap year was spent taking my mother to chemotherapy treatments and trying to keep her comfortable after the doctors said there was nothing more they could do and cut her loose from their care completely. This was back before palliative care and visiting nurses. I still ache for what my mother went through, that I could not relieve.
This guy still doesn't get it, it's not all about you. You're still privileged and clueless.
This guy still doesn't get it, it's not all about you. You're still privileged and clueless.
13
I couldn't disagree more. There's a huge difference between sacrificing to serve another person and taking time for oneself. Not everyone is fortunate to be able to take that time off, like your experience. But, some people are able to. It's not fair to expect everybody to serve others in need like you did. People have different needs, challenges, and fortunes. Because you spent your time serving somebody else, doesn't give you a right to preach that others who don't need to have your experience should!! May be this kid has had his own trying times!! Just because you've suffered doesn't mean the whole world should surfer like you did!!!
8
My college friend Adam was so poor that despite working two jobs had to be a medical test subject to earn living expenses. How did the author save enough money at a $5/hr seasonal job to do an extended lark around Bali?
14
I have known many people who have done this kind of travel-adventure gap year, and every one of them had access to at least baseline funds (usually much more than that), the security of parental health insurance, and the comforting knowledge that their parents would fly in and save them if everything went pear shaped. Those among my acquaintance who had no such safety net worked real, full-time jobs during their gap years. It's a great time to do internships, to try out professions and areas of study before wasting your precious years at university on the wrong majors. It does not have to be a time for navel gazing and moon parties on Thai beaches. Some young people even take a year off to volunteer and actually help someone other than themselves!
7
I lived that life. It can be done
1
Gap year? Forget about working to pay for my education, making taking a year off impossible. My parents needed to finish school as quickly as possible to help out financially, making taking a year off REALLY impossible. Finding myself, discovering my passion, figuring out what made me tick? I wish I had that kind of privilege.
10
Sounds like a great experience and he learned a lot. Still, despite all the philosophizing, he remained a kid at play, free to blow all his earnings on fun, safe in the knowledge that in the fall, he would climb back into the parental pouch and resume life as a dependent, privileged college student.
12
Some people are spared the rueful experience of having spiteful and grudging parents. They are truly blessed. Others, from comments the likes of yours, are not so fortunate.
1
Boring. Anecdote.
6
In light of the total number of comments, not everybody seems to have been as bored as you, Keith.
Perhaps a little adventure might be good for your soul.
Perhaps a little adventure might be good for your soul.
2
gap years are relatively elitist...you have to be able to afford it.
i don't think anyone who lives at home for a year, working full time to save money, is going to be chronicled as taking a gap year.
i don't think anyone who lives at home for a year, working full time to save money, is going to be chronicled as taking a gap year.
11
Many Europeans travel a lot and take gap years. I've met quite a few and they usually aren't wealthy. It's about one also being interested in the travel! It's a question of priorities, I think!! American kids would rather buy a truck! Traveling around the world is relatively cheap, especially for westerners! Africa is cheap, India is cheap, South America is cheap. The only expensive places are western countries, which are also not really expensive! It's a question of priorities.
3
I wish every student had this opportunity but anyone saying he is spoiled is just jealous and bitter. Who doesn't want to take some time to find themselves and get more direction and experiences in life before subscuming to the 9-5 neverending work week for the next 45 years?! Good for him and anyone who who can swing it! I hope my kids get an experience like this someday.
10
[[ “Malia Obama Taking a Gap Year Is the Ultimate Sign of Luxury” read the The New York Post headline.]]
So, first you have to consider the source.
Beyond that, let's say it is a sign of luxury...so, what? Before he was president, Obama was a United States senator...a pretty exclusive club...and a millionaire. It would be unusual if the parents didn't explore every option for their daughter.
And let's keep in mind that the younger child didn't attend her father's farewell address because she had an exam the next morning.
Do what you think is best for your kids and tune out the critics.
So, first you have to consider the source.
Beyond that, let's say it is a sign of luxury...so, what? Before he was president, Obama was a United States senator...a pretty exclusive club...and a millionaire. It would be unusual if the parents didn't explore every option for their daughter.
And let's keep in mind that the younger child didn't attend her father's farewell address because she had an exam the next morning.
Do what you think is best for your kids and tune out the critics.
12
The trouble is that those summer job experiences learning how to deal with real people, handle money and learn about the real world are harder and harder to come by. High School students are ill prepared for their next stage in life.
On the other hand, much like Kyle, my oldest struggled with his freshman year and used his summer job at a camp to fund a detour to Asia.
Time will tell if he benefits in the same way.
On the other hand, much like Kyle, my oldest struggled with his freshman year and used his summer job at a camp to fund a detour to Asia.
Time will tell if he benefits in the same way.
5
The most common route is to go directly to college from high school, with all the anxiety of applying to & getting accepted. Students without financial support from parents don't have time to think about the 12 years they have just completed. Along with government financial support (pell grants), they often must get jobs to pay the bills, not only their own, but often to help their families. Many are burned out from so much school, but so what.
Kids with financial support from their parents go to college because it's expected of them. They haven't even had to think for themselves. Some are so well trained by their parents, they do well, but never really have to make their own decisions. They may be burned out but don't know it.
I went directly from HS to college. I was burned out from school, but frankly, I didn't know what else to do. My parents even sent me on an overseas cinema program to Italy for a year.
Yes, I was spoiled. However, I was also tired of doing what my parents told me to do. I began an apprenticeship with some Italian film editors. Once I was useful, they started paying me. The film program was not very good, so I eventually dropped out. My parents were disappointed, but also pleasantly surprised that I was supporting myself.
Twenty years later I decided to go back to college, studying biology. I did very well because I wanted to be there, knew why I was there, & was paying my own way.
Kids with financial support from their parents go to college because it's expected of them. They haven't even had to think for themselves. Some are so well trained by their parents, they do well, but never really have to make their own decisions. They may be burned out but don't know it.
I went directly from HS to college. I was burned out from school, but frankly, I didn't know what else to do. My parents even sent me on an overseas cinema program to Italy for a year.
Yes, I was spoiled. However, I was also tired of doing what my parents told me to do. I began an apprenticeship with some Italian film editors. Once I was useful, they started paying me. The film program was not very good, so I eventually dropped out. My parents were disappointed, but also pleasantly surprised that I was supporting myself.
Twenty years later I decided to go back to college, studying biology. I did very well because I wanted to be there, knew why I was there, & was paying my own way.
7
I hope to read more from you Kyle! I read the whole article, including the part about washing dishes and feelings of inadequacy because of your Spanish speaking skills. These experiences seem to be paying off already.
I am an ordinary person with extraordinarily experiences. I took a year off in between undergrad and grad school. The summer before graduating I found two internships through the National Park Service and the US State Department (both provided housing). I found another internship that didn't pay but gave me a round trip plane ticket anywhere in the world that I used for the State Dept job. If you can plan it out, anyone can do it - I went to a state university and my parents did not give me a dime for my travels because girls are supposed to stay home.
I am an ordinary person with extraordinarily experiences. I took a year off in between undergrad and grad school. The summer before graduating I found two internships through the National Park Service and the US State Department (both provided housing). I found another internship that didn't pay but gave me a round trip plane ticket anywhere in the world that I used for the State Dept job. If you can plan it out, anyone can do it - I went to a state university and my parents did not give me a dime for my travels because girls are supposed to stay home.
11
I never did make it to college. My gap year turned into 10+ years but it all worked out. I traveled, had virtually no money, read, self taught, drafting, art, woodworking, construction then architecture, then computer modeling and design and had a great career, married. You got time kid. Use it. Enjoy it.
5
Growing up in a suburb of Minneapolis in the 70's. I remember everyone, rich and poor, working summer jobs and when in high school, some worked at the night jobs such as a pizza joint. I must have babysat thousands of hours! When I see kids growing up these days, I feel so sad that many parents seem to want to protect their kids from minimum pay jobs. I feel that it really helped keep me very grounded. After working as a waitress for several years, it was quite inspiring to find a career!
So I applaud Kyle for being brave and stepping out of his comfort zone. Since he chose to make that decision, he now knows what actively participating in his own destiny feels like and means. Good beginning to a great adult life!
I have to say that I am really appalled by some the comments. Wow! So many of you are really ugly and mean! No wonder we heading for civil war.
So I applaud Kyle for being brave and stepping out of his comfort zone. Since he chose to make that decision, he now knows what actively participating in his own destiny feels like and means. Good beginning to a great adult life!
I have to say that I am really appalled by some the comments. Wow! So many of you are really ugly and mean! No wonder we heading for civil war.
8
RICH KID LIFE. Sorry, I'm just a touch jealous.
8
I managed to get most of the ingredients of a rich kid's life without much money.
I substituted:
1) imagination
2) risk taking
3) openness to opportunity
for being wealthy. It worked fine.
I have crewed 45 foot sloop from Annapolis to Bermuda, but I could never afford to own a boat.
I have travelled to countless countries and lived in eight of them - financed by work or scholarships. But I have never taken a "cruise" or a "guided tour".
I play fair tennis, but have never wasted a dime on country-club dues. Playing on free public courts is just as satisfying.
I have never dined in a Michelin 3 Star, but I have had magnificent $12 meals in small towns in France and street markets in Hong Kong and Singapore,
I've never bought $200 tickets to an NFL game, but I have bought $7 tickets to major league baseball games that were just as much fun.
One needn't envy the rich. Nor regret not being rich. Just distill the essence of what rich people get to do and find a frugal way to do something similar,
You'll wind up happier than the rich folks and with less stress and fewer ulcers.
Always remember that the rich only seem to be contented.... in reality they are worried about not being a rich as some of their friends.
I substituted:
1) imagination
2) risk taking
3) openness to opportunity
for being wealthy. It worked fine.
I have crewed 45 foot sloop from Annapolis to Bermuda, but I could never afford to own a boat.
I have travelled to countless countries and lived in eight of them - financed by work or scholarships. But I have never taken a "cruise" or a "guided tour".
I play fair tennis, but have never wasted a dime on country-club dues. Playing on free public courts is just as satisfying.
I have never dined in a Michelin 3 Star, but I have had magnificent $12 meals in small towns in France and street markets in Hong Kong and Singapore,
I've never bought $200 tickets to an NFL game, but I have bought $7 tickets to major league baseball games that were just as much fun.
One needn't envy the rich. Nor regret not being rich. Just distill the essence of what rich people get to do and find a frugal way to do something similar,
You'll wind up happier than the rich folks and with less stress and fewer ulcers.
Always remember that the rich only seem to be contented.... in reality they are worried about not being a rich as some of their friends.
2
My gap year was every year that I was in college. I put myself through school, which meant I had to work. My parents did not believe in higher education. It was "getting above yourself." Plus my mother was very religious and believed the only education anyone needed was religion.
Yes, it took me far longer than the average student. Yes, people thought it was weird because I was female and they didn't understand why my parents wouldn't help me pay for school. I moved to NYC so I could go to the inexpensive city college system. A female moving to NYC where she knows no one is somewhat dangerous. But I had no choice.
Anyway, nobody was impressed with the life experience I got from my jobs.
Yes, it took me far longer than the average student. Yes, people thought it was weird because I was female and they didn't understand why my parents wouldn't help me pay for school. I moved to NYC so I could go to the inexpensive city college system. A female moving to NYC where she knows no one is somewhat dangerous. But I had no choice.
Anyway, nobody was impressed with the life experience I got from my jobs.
13
Nobody was impressed by your toughening experiences.
But they made you the person you are today.
Take pride in yourself, and recognize that validation from folks who don't really know you is meaningless.
If I had two young job applicants with equal transcripts -- one with your life and one with an easier suburban life, I would hire you.
But they made you the person you are today.
Take pride in yourself, and recognize that validation from folks who don't really know you is meaningless.
If I had two young job applicants with equal transcripts -- one with your life and one with an easier suburban life, I would hire you.
1
I self-funded college and grad school through work and loans, and lived with the ups and downs of trying to do that, but I will forego commenting--as many or most posters here have done--on the money aspect of the gap year.
What I will say, and what I have noticed now for many years, is that a majority of grads today are sadly not prepared intellectually or motivationally to work in the time just after college. Many of them have rushed ahead without any thought or direction. A little time off before plunging in might be in order.
What I will say, and what I have noticed now for many years, is that a majority of grads today are sadly not prepared intellectually or motivationally to work in the time just after college. Many of them have rushed ahead without any thought or direction. A little time off before plunging in might be in order.
22
I suggest you join a branch of the Armed Forces. The rest of your education will be covered. You will grow up, get out of your comfort zone, and get some real life experience.
13
Nah! Thanks!! I would love to think for myself! Not die for corporate interests, thanks a lot!!!
2
This is good advice, Lisa. But not everybody understands why.
My Dad did WWII in the pacific for four years.
I did the Indochina war for 4 yrs.
My daughter did the Iraq war and follow-on for four years.
We all went on to other things, but we all grew from our military experience.
It is not a panacea. But one might think of it at "outward bound" but with a salary and a sense of purpose.
My Dad did WWII in the pacific for four years.
I did the Indochina war for 4 yrs.
My daughter did the Iraq war and follow-on for four years.
We all went on to other things, but we all grew from our military experience.
It is not a panacea. But one might think of it at "outward bound" but with a salary and a sense of purpose.
2
If elite colleges would stop their insane acceptance requirements which for most high school students require the basic selling of their souls then high schoolers could do in high school what developmentally they should be doing becoming individuals who are beginning to create the framework to learn about themselves and the world they live in. And our 18 year olds would be more capable and mentally healthy young adults than what we have now.
13
So many bitter "enlightened liberals" snarking about a kid who dared to be born into a well-off family. I hope you are all proud of yourselves. This toxicity will be repaid in 2018, when you lose again.
6
Better to take time off than waste the time and money if you are not ready. If my kids came to us and said that they were not ready to go to school right from high school, or needed a year of to decide what made the most sense to study during their college years, I would applaud the thought that went into the decision. I think in many ways it shows more maturity than going through school if you are not ready. One caveat though: Mom and Dad are not supporting you for a one year vacation. You need to go out and work to support yourself. Living at home is OK, but don't look at us for support beyond that. I know some kids who have taken some time off, and it has generally been for the better, and resulted in more direction and focus in college. Taking time off is not inherently elitist. Sometimes it show maturity to realize you are not ready to decide what you want to do for the rest of your life. Honestly I wish I had done it, but my parents wouldn't have it.
10
The problem here is the author's inability to understand the value of the educational sacrifice his parents have made. It sounds like he needed a GAP year when he was in High School. Given the ridiculous amount of debt Americans get into just to go to college it's ludicrous to compare GAP years to the kids in Europe because they're College Education's are paid for or at the very least, heavily subsidized thanks to the European idea that young people need to have an education..
This article reeks of "White Privilege"
This article reeks of "White Privilege"
8
His race has nothing to do with his choice to take a gap year. If Malia Obama writes a similar article after her gap year, would you dare label it "Black Privilege"?
7
All college educations are not paid for in Europe. Only a very few are, if you don't make the cut, you don't go. Usually by way of a national exam. Please, get the facts.
3
I am a fan of the gap year, if only because I am astonished at the immaturity of so many college-age kids that I meet. And yes, they are kids, not adults.
College becomes nothing more than an extension of high school when the student has no experience of life outside education. Working six months in a job - any job - in order to fund six months of budget travel in cheap parts of the globe is an experience that will separate the kids from the adults when they actually begin college. It's also a year of their lives that many will look back on as having shaped them more than the next four years did.
College becomes nothing more than an extension of high school when the student has no experience of life outside education. Working six months in a job - any job - in order to fund six months of budget travel in cheap parts of the globe is an experience that will separate the kids from the adults when they actually begin college. It's also a year of their lives that many will look back on as having shaped them more than the next four years did.
9
"They took the news pretty well considering they had just shelled out more than $50,000 in tuition and living expenses at one of the ritziest private universities in the country ..." And that is where I stopped reading what appears to be yet another tedious article about another tedious rich, white kid ...
13
You should have kept reading. Appearances can be deceiving. The author recognized that he was wasting his parents money and spent his gap year supporting himself while figuring out what he wanted to study at school. He's a capable writer and the article was worth reading. In full.
18
Touche! And I guess he considered roughing it sleeping in his car and rinsing off in the ocean.
6
I think it's wonderful that some young people have the resources and privileges to delay college for a "gap year." I also think we should not forget that the vast majority of young Americans who want to attend college will struggle to pay for college, whether it's community colleges, public colleges and universities, or private four-year institutions, let alone professional and trade schools.
When I was an undergraduate, college tuition at my private university cost roughly $16,000/year, which seemed almost insurmountable at times for my working-class parents and me to afford. They contributed what they could, my grandparents chipped in, and I took out loans and worked both part-time and did work-study to pay the bills. I tried my best to finish as quickly as I could to lessen financial burden on my parents and grandparents, and myself.
Now, the public 4-year universities cost anywhere between $12,000-$35,000/year, and private universities are approaching $65,000-$70,000 PER YEAR, so for so many--most?--students the idea of taking *any* time off to do anything, rather than trying to get their degrees as quickly as possible, is a fantasy and phantasm at best.
But again, it's great to read about those who have the funds and support to enjoy life and learn about themselves like this. Most of us aren't billionaires or millionaires, don't forget the rest of our young people, though!
When I was an undergraduate, college tuition at my private university cost roughly $16,000/year, which seemed almost insurmountable at times for my working-class parents and me to afford. They contributed what they could, my grandparents chipped in, and I took out loans and worked both part-time and did work-study to pay the bills. I tried my best to finish as quickly as I could to lessen financial burden on my parents and grandparents, and myself.
Now, the public 4-year universities cost anywhere between $12,000-$35,000/year, and private universities are approaching $65,000-$70,000 PER YEAR, so for so many--most?--students the idea of taking *any* time off to do anything, rather than trying to get their degrees as quickly as possible, is a fantasy and phantasm at best.
But again, it's great to read about those who have the funds and support to enjoy life and learn about themselves like this. Most of us aren't billionaires or millionaires, don't forget the rest of our young people, though!
7
I see you are from NY where the state government has agreed to pay 100% of the four year tuition at any SUNY or CUNY for any family making less that $125K.
This is as it should be.
If you go to (say) SUNY Binghamton or SUNY Buffalo and can take a year off midstream to work on a fishing boat in Alaska, you will be wise to do so.
This is a choice that is now available to (almost) all students in NY, I hope they make the most of it.
This is as it should be.
If you go to (say) SUNY Binghamton or SUNY Buffalo and can take a year off midstream to work on a fishing boat in Alaska, you will be wise to do so.
This is a choice that is now available to (almost) all students in NY, I hope they make the most of it.
1
More young people participate in gap years between high school and college now than ever before; if anything the article understates the trend.
Many structured programs exist for volunteering, teaching, traveling etc.
Our daughter has pursued a gap year and it has been extremely rewarding. All paid for with college funds she will work to pay back.
If you can structure it and invest the time in some meaningful experiences, it can be a great year!
Many structured programs exist for volunteering, teaching, traveling etc.
Our daughter has pursued a gap year and it has been extremely rewarding. All paid for with college funds she will work to pay back.
If you can structure it and invest the time in some meaningful experiences, it can be a great year!
2
Kyle, nicely written and helpful to me as a parent whose daughter enters college in the fall. Thank you for sharing.
3
Ho hum... the ways of the privileged.
I put myself through college and a doctoral program by the time I was 27.
I put myself through college and a doctoral program by the time I was 27.
7
Oh good grief. I got my PhD about two months after I turned 26. Wah wah, I didn't get a gap year. That doesn't actually make this any less interesting or valuable. I teach a lot of students who would likely benefit from something similar--some just go to college unconsciously because it is the thing people of their economic and social class do. They'd be a lot better off if they took a year washing dishes and making do, figuring out what they'd really like to do and be.
11
The author's father has good instincts. Many students who delay post-secondary education or take off a semester do not return to school, which is unfortunate. Of course, some students will benefit from a gap year, but it's probably an easier thing to do for those from very privileged backgrounds.
I am old enough that this was never an option for me, but I applaud the writer's independence. If I had college to do over again, I would welcome an off year. (I did have a quarter in Germany, which was worth a lot!)
I don't think that my parents valued my independence (I am female). Sadly, neither do my two sons value their daughters' independence.
I don't think that my parents valued my independence (I am female). Sadly, neither do my two sons value their daughters' independence.
7
Cool...Anything to get you 2000 kids and 90's kids to see other Human Beings. I remember the days when you could pack up and leave your parents at 18....I'm only 40 now and I am glad I vrntured out into the real world...The cool thing is an American Human Being can go International or see the rest of the USA. I personally invite those Humans living on the East or Coast or West Coast to come and enjoy the Mid West....Minneapolis is the Punk Rock Capitol of the World!!! We are not just a fly over city anymore. Welcome to the Future!!!
5
Gap Years are not just for the young. My husband and I took one at 55 years old and it changed our life. Our children had just finished college and so we kissed our jobs good-bye, sold all our worldly possessions including our house, packed our bags, and took off. There is always something to be learned from extended journeys, no matter your age. We came back to the US refreshed and ready to go back to work.
48
Fantastic advice! Bravo!
3
Now THAT is a story I'd love to read!
5
I'm 75 and my whole life has been a string of "gap years" wandering all over the globe, living in many, many countries and always ready for something new.
Gap years aren't just for the young.
But it is best to start early so you learn the tricks of frugal travel and overcome any reluctance to dive in head-first when the opportunity arises.
Gap years aren't just for the young.
But it is best to start early so you learn the tricks of frugal travel and overcome any reluctance to dive in head-first when the opportunity arises.
2
Who funds the gap year I must ask? If not the student, then this is a "Gap Vacation".
16
That's a really good point!
4
They get a job, like this young guy did!
5
The kid paid his own way. That's the point of the story. Did you even read it?
9
My “gap years” were spent in the exotic locale of Southeast Asia--two tours in Danang with the 44th Medical Battalion as a Captain in the US Army Nurse Corps 1968-1970. I had a 2 year AD in a RN program.Wanted better skills, more knowledge, advanced analytical techniques to deal with man’s inhumanity to each other. Battlefield trauma never ends.
When I returned from in country, back to the States, I buckled down, took pre-med classes and ended up going to my first choice Washington University at St. Louis for a combined MD PhD program--six years for a combined public health/research position. I was looking at a more efficient way of dealing with trauma and mass casualties.
Yes it changed my thinking...I wanted to be able to do MORE for the civilians along with the troops in war zones. Sometimes the “troops” are boys as young as ten. I will never get over the 20,000+ “lost boys” who were displaced or orphaned during the Second Sudanese Civil War.
I’d love to see 2 years National Service as a requirement to retain citizenship as my dad’s country of Bavaria.
NOT necessarily military-but learning a trade, building and refitting “green homes” in communities, teacher’s aides. And so on. Let our kids grow up before going to our VERY expensive colleges and tech schools.
Or maybe we could have a citizen-soldier military.If we ALL had skin the game perhaps we wouldn’t be throwing 59 Tomahawk missiles at an airbase in a sovereign nation without being attacked first!
When I returned from in country, back to the States, I buckled down, took pre-med classes and ended up going to my first choice Washington University at St. Louis for a combined MD PhD program--six years for a combined public health/research position. I was looking at a more efficient way of dealing with trauma and mass casualties.
Yes it changed my thinking...I wanted to be able to do MORE for the civilians along with the troops in war zones. Sometimes the “troops” are boys as young as ten. I will never get over the 20,000+ “lost boys” who were displaced or orphaned during the Second Sudanese Civil War.
I’d love to see 2 years National Service as a requirement to retain citizenship as my dad’s country of Bavaria.
NOT necessarily military-but learning a trade, building and refitting “green homes” in communities, teacher’s aides. And so on. Let our kids grow up before going to our VERY expensive colleges and tech schools.
Or maybe we could have a citizen-soldier military.If we ALL had skin the game perhaps we wouldn’t be throwing 59 Tomahawk missiles at an airbase in a sovereign nation without being attacked first!
32
Totally agree on National Service with multiple options.
I did four years in the War in Indochina and gained a lot from the experience.
But one could gain a lot by spending 2 yrs in the Forest Service in Montana or as a conservation worker in the Mississippi Delta. Or being a teaching assistant in Oakland CA.
I did four years in the War in Indochina and gained a lot from the experience.
But one could gain a lot by spending 2 yrs in the Forest Service in Montana or as a conservation worker in the Mississippi Delta. Or being a teaching assistant in Oakland CA.
2
I was disappointed to read an article about taking a gap year without the mention of Americorps or other full time volunteer opportunities that make for the best kind of "year off." I am a proud alum of City Year, an amazing organization that leverages the power of "near peers" (17-24 year olds) to address our country's school drop out crisis. As someone who lived a privileged upbringing, I was grateful for every opportunity I discovered that year to widen my comfort zone. For my service I earned a stipend and an Americorps Education Award, which allowed me to make a contribution to my college tuition. I often speak to young people about City Year and the notion of a gap year, but unlike this article, I try to emphasize the opportunity to serve others, not just one's self- that happens on its own when you have the type of experiences that national service provides. I have two brothers who have served our nation in the US Navy, while that path was not for me, I am so glad I had a chance to contribute to our nation in some way. Too bad Americorps is on Trump's chopping block along with so many other great assets our country should be proud of.
19
No wonder it takes 7 years to get a 4 year degree and 4-5 years to get a 2 year degree.
And no wonder so many students whine about student loans.
Totally overlooked is the fact that while you are out "gapping" you are losing a future year (or two or three) of earnings potential. Typically, people earn the least when they are youngest, that is why you go to college fresh out of high school, to leverage maximally your college degree.
If it takes you 7 years to graduate at, say, 25-26, you've lost several years of earnings potential.
But, what the heck, just blame the baby boomers like you always do.
And no wonder so many students whine about student loans.
Totally overlooked is the fact that while you are out "gapping" you are losing a future year (or two or three) of earnings potential. Typically, people earn the least when they are youngest, that is why you go to college fresh out of high school, to leverage maximally your college degree.
If it takes you 7 years to graduate at, say, 25-26, you've lost several years of earnings potential.
But, what the heck, just blame the baby boomers like you always do.
6
A few years of lost revenue is meaningless in the long term. Developing an independent identity, finding your own jobs, negotiating how to live in a day by day basis, and nurturing cultural understanding make life more meaningful and achievement more rewarding when you've succeeded based on your own motivation to thrive and create a better world after having experienced a less than ideal world. We have a two physician income but we will not support our children with a penny until the complete a one year of a mandatory gap year abroad. They won't fly unless you push em off the ledge. And if they chose a different path than college, it's just the way it is.
Not many people take gap years. As for taking too long to complete their degrees, most times, it's financial or personal issues that come into play. Many students work full-time, care for their parents or extended family, and have other responsibilities. And, what we consider the traditional undergraduate - 18-24, no dependents, etc., are pretty much over, as they are not the majority anymore.
1
He will be a more productive member of society as a result of the gap year.
4
People like Kyle come off as very tone deaf and incredibly entitled. You can take a gap year because 1) your parents are independent and don't need your support and 2) if anything goes wrong while you're gallivanting around the world, I'm betting your parents have the wherewithal to bail you out. That's a luxury that people with parents making a subsistence income don't have.
21
If you read the article, Kyle self funded his travels thru various jobs. Lots of young people travel. What is so tone deaf about that? It is actually a challenging life learning experience. By contrast, I know many people from Brooklyn. Lots of them have never ventured further afield than Atlantic City, or Las Vegas for the more adventurous among them. Seriously, they go into panic mode upon leaving the confines of the borough. You sound like one of those.
1
I work an hourly minimum wage job. Every year I take a 'micro' gap year where I travel and free myself to experience places I find interesting. Last year I spent a month in New York City doing whatever I pleased when I pleased!! I am not rich!! I simply love to travel!! So, anybody can do it, if they really want to!!! I work 11 months, pay my own tuition at school, my own rent, and travel for one month!! I do that instead of having babies I can't afford, or taking drugs that will screw my mind!!!
1
I am very very happy to have been born in an Italian family where concepts of financial, emotional or whatever "dependency" didn't exist! If I wanted to stay home in my 30s I would have been accepted wholeheartedly, no one, including myself would have ever thought of "dependency" vs "freedom." I am sorry about this kind of freedom-impoverishment trip young Americana and parents have to go through but I imagine it belongs to a very "do it yourself" culture.
13
My 'gap year' lasted nearly 40 years. In the meantime, I had a successful military career, that segued into a civilian defense contracting career, and, finally, resulted in finishing a BSIT degree summa cum laude in order to continue working in my chosen field. The formal schooling, in the end, was far less formative than all of the experiences I have had, but it did provide that ability to check the box on online job applications and get past the gatekeepers to the interview, where I have always been able to make my case.
2
Surfer magazine? A gluten-free store? So so California.
Why do these gap-year people always go to Africa or in this case Indonesia? Cool points, I suppose. I went to West Virginia doesn't cut it at Artisanal Beer Night. Why can't we bring back the Civilian Conservation Corps (CCC)? There is plenty of work to be done right here in the US. The infrastructure of this country is failing, many communities in the South and Appalachia could use a workforce to build decent housing and bring in modern plumbing to existing houses. I recall the recent story about a town (in Florida, I think) that had neither sewers nor septic tanks and residents ran makeshift sewer pipes from indoor toilets to the lake. A workforce of young people could go a long way in restoring the infrastructure of this nation and constructing decent housing. Only this time the CCC can do without the "black camps" and the "Indian camps."
Why do these gap-year people always go to Africa or in this case Indonesia? Cool points, I suppose. I went to West Virginia doesn't cut it at Artisanal Beer Night. Why can't we bring back the Civilian Conservation Corps (CCC)? There is plenty of work to be done right here in the US. The infrastructure of this country is failing, many communities in the South and Appalachia could use a workforce to build decent housing and bring in modern plumbing to existing houses. I recall the recent story about a town (in Florida, I think) that had neither sewers nor septic tanks and residents ran makeshift sewer pipes from indoor toilets to the lake. A workforce of young people could go a long way in restoring the infrastructure of this nation and constructing decent housing. Only this time the CCC can do without the "black camps" and the "Indian camps."
18
Because West Virginia isn't sexy...but Indonesia? Of course very much so! All kidding aside, I agree 100% with your post. I took a "gap summer" after my forth year in college (couldn't afford to spend $2,000 on summer school archaeology camp for 4 credits), but instead went to Alaska and worked my A__ off...and LOVED it. Went back the next six summers, and learned so much. And, I actually earned money doing it.
9
Did you even read the story? He didn't go to Indonesia for "cool points", he worked his A** off to save money and went off to see the world--like any other human being who has the yen for travel.
Your comment about "there is plenty of work to be done right here in the US" implies that Kyle was on some sort of do-gooder program.
On the contrary, he was exercising his newly-discovered ability for self-determination and self-support. He worked (two jobs), earned money, exercised financial discipline, and saved--so he could go do what he wanted to do.
That has zero to do with joining some kind of formal do-gooder program.
Nothing against your idea of bringing back the Civilian Conservation Corps, but it has nothing to do with this story.
Your comment about "there is plenty of work to be done right here in the US" implies that Kyle was on some sort of do-gooder program.
On the contrary, he was exercising his newly-discovered ability for self-determination and self-support. He worked (two jobs), earned money, exercised financial discipline, and saved--so he could go do what he wanted to do.
That has zero to do with joining some kind of formal do-gooder program.
Nothing against your idea of bringing back the Civilian Conservation Corps, but it has nothing to do with this story.
7
The residents ran sewage lines from indoor toilets to the lake? Is that supposed to be a good thing?
Well done Kyle, balancing the gap year between your parents expectations and the school system. I managed a 'junior year abroad' as a gap year. I spent a year in Bali through an independent program, the School for International Training (SIT), studying cultural anthropology, i.e. Balinese culture and the effects of tourism. I had a life changing "gap year" experience and received full college credit. Bonus was that it only cost ⅓ of my resident college's yearly tuition. I got back the following year and tried to convince everyone in earshot that it was the best thing going.. but most people weren't interested. It's not for everyone.
6
Some kids take a gap year to earn money, mature and figure out what they really want out of college. Mr. DeNuccio learned how to NOT be so dependent on his parents. To me, that makes more sense than paying $50K+ a year to party.
16
I had the gift of being the child of poor immigrants. I worked after school during the last two years of high school and summers. Worked summers during college at a local school. Got a scholarship to board Senior Year. Paid a lot of my own way and got school loan. In the workplace I learned invaluable skills and got to understand people of different backgrounds and the politics of the workplace. Being the "college girl" among high school educated coworkers taught me a lot of respect for them.
I congratulate the author for taking time off and gaining a better perspective on his life and education. Privileged children can be at a disadvantage and as hard as their parents might try to build in independence and social awareness, it is a real challenge if you grow up in a protective environment.
I highly recommend expecting your children to have summer jobs or do volunteer work instead of spending high school summers on camps and expensive vacations.
I congratulate the author for taking time off and gaining a better perspective on his life and education. Privileged children can be at a disadvantage and as hard as their parents might try to build in independence and social awareness, it is a real challenge if you grow up in a protective environment.
I highly recommend expecting your children to have summer jobs or do volunteer work instead of spending high school summers on camps and expensive vacations.
11
Would this kind of wandering be more difficult for a female? I am sure she could do it, but I think of the girl who disappeared in Aruba. Unfair, but the chance of being attacked or otherwise damaged would have crossed my mind in college years. Being a female, I never ever doubted the value of my education and worked hard throughout. Being a female. Knowing the score, maybe, more than many males do. No fraternity drinking for me, even it it had been available. Not that I am saying girls don't waste their educations drinking as well, but maybe a smaller percentage of them than of their male counterparts? Could explain why UNC is about 65% female and the rest male. Law school students are now more than 50% female. Not saying a great adventure is not a great idea--just scarier for many females than for many males.
15
Really good point. I am 73, and don't worry much, but I would avoid all-male drinking encounters and partying generally.
5
One answer is to do a gap year with friends. I didn't have a gap year, but I backpacked through Europe one summer when I was 19, with another young woman.
Another is to try something structured. This isn't the full independence some people want, but it's a modified version. I spent a summer as a foreign exchange student at 17, in Paraguay. There are now lots of businesses that cater to gap year students and help them arrange housing, internships, volunteer work. Some kids work half a year to fund themselves and then go on one of these types of programs.
Another is to try something structured. This isn't the full independence some people want, but it's a modified version. I spent a summer as a foreign exchange student at 17, in Paraguay. There are now lots of businesses that cater to gap year students and help them arrange housing, internships, volunteer work. Some kids work half a year to fund themselves and then go on one of these types of programs.
3
Yep. Men blithely move through the world without the constant low-level fear of male predators that women do... and then when something happens to us, we are blamed instead of the men who perpetrate the violence.
5
Dude, there are places in the world where people'd be fighting to eat those maggots, not scrub them out. Not much surf, tho.
4
Most kids who take gap years do so between high school and college. The UC system stands out for being one of the only places left in the country that fails to offer the option. That is, if you're admitted, you have to matriculate. No deferral of admission is allowed.
And that's really too bad. It's far easier to apply to college -- and get in -- when you're still in high school, and even more so for poorer kids. If you can defer admission, secure in knowing that you have a place to go to, then *anyone*, almost regardless of finances, can take a year off. Some kids might want to spend that year earning money to defray the cost of education, or the cost to their family of them not bringing home a paycheck for four or more years. Other kids, those with more money available, might want to explore the world on a shoestring.
My kids are gap year kids. One took his before college. The other, a UC undergraduate, is taking it between years one and two of college, because he wasn't given the earlier option.
Have they benefited? Absolutely. One returned focused and intent on his goals. The other, still somewhere in South America, is re-energized and eager to really focus on his classes.
I didn't take a gap year, but my brother did, way back in the 80s. He returned with a much better understanding of himself the diversity that the world affords than I ever had while a student. His experience is what made me encourage my kids to do the gap.
I wish everyone could be so lucky.
And that's really too bad. It's far easier to apply to college -- and get in -- when you're still in high school, and even more so for poorer kids. If you can defer admission, secure in knowing that you have a place to go to, then *anyone*, almost regardless of finances, can take a year off. Some kids might want to spend that year earning money to defray the cost of education, or the cost to their family of them not bringing home a paycheck for four or more years. Other kids, those with more money available, might want to explore the world on a shoestring.
My kids are gap year kids. One took his before college. The other, a UC undergraduate, is taking it between years one and two of college, because he wasn't given the earlier option.
Have they benefited? Absolutely. One returned focused and intent on his goals. The other, still somewhere in South America, is re-energized and eager to really focus on his classes.
I didn't take a gap year, but my brother did, way back in the 80s. He returned with a much better understanding of himself the diversity that the world affords than I ever had while a student. His experience is what made me encourage my kids to do the gap.
I wish everyone could be so lucky.
10
Smart kid. I did the same thing 42 years ago, and it helped me to focus. The majority of college degrees have become devalued. This coupled with less good-paying jobs for those who aren't engineers, computer scientists, and mathematicians has led to massive under- employment. Ask your local barista or pizza-delivery person from which college/university they graduated.
5
Bravo to this young man! He was able to understand how his thinking changed about school and life. Not many teenagers have this sort of introspection. Yes they are teens.
We know that the pre-frontal cortex of the brain does not fully develop until we are 25 to 26 years old. The reason that folks do so much better taking “gap” years is that we’re letting the brain growth catch up with our physical growth.
My dad went into WWII and came out with other (mostly) men more mature and used their GI loans to make good decisions...then we called them the “Greatest Generation.” It wasn’t being drafted and fighting in the military or working in factories that made our parents, grandparents more mature...it was the simple fact that their brains matured vs the 18 year olds who were sitting in the classrooms with them!
I think it was said best by a lawyer I knew who became a family court judge: “I let an 18 year old make the decision that at 40 I would be trapped in a courtroom refereeing parents who wanted to kill each other over custody of a child or some material object!”
I must disagree with one point the author makes. He says that students who “take time off...increase their GPAs,more fulfilling career paths.” Yes you’re giving time for the brain to mature!
AND students who take gap years USUALLY come from wealthier families. There is a direct correlation between wealth and doing better in school.
2 yr National Service would help EVERY person to a good career path.
We know that the pre-frontal cortex of the brain does not fully develop until we are 25 to 26 years old. The reason that folks do so much better taking “gap” years is that we’re letting the brain growth catch up with our physical growth.
My dad went into WWII and came out with other (mostly) men more mature and used their GI loans to make good decisions...then we called them the “Greatest Generation.” It wasn’t being drafted and fighting in the military or working in factories that made our parents, grandparents more mature...it was the simple fact that their brains matured vs the 18 year olds who were sitting in the classrooms with them!
I think it was said best by a lawyer I knew who became a family court judge: “I let an 18 year old make the decision that at 40 I would be trapped in a courtroom refereeing parents who wanted to kill each other over custody of a child or some material object!”
I must disagree with one point the author makes. He says that students who “take time off...increase their GPAs,more fulfilling career paths.” Yes you’re giving time for the brain to mature!
AND students who take gap years USUALLY come from wealthier families. There is a direct correlation between wealth and doing better in school.
2 yr National Service would help EVERY person to a good career path.
6
Parts of this have me flashing back to "The Graduate." The kid saying 'eh' to the product of his (so-far) college education, the Dad kinda flipping out (one year in and $50k later, hey, who can blame him?)
I do give the author credit for breaking out at all.
I see a parallel universe where 'kids' will stay in school forever. First, the bachelor's. Then the masters. Then, if possible, work in academia. It's pretty much the only place they've ever been, from toddlerhood to late 20s. It, like the military, has a rhythm and hierarchy that is familiar and comforting.
It seems the safest course? and environment of choice for many a smart kid, encouraged since in the womb to reach for scholastic achievement at every turn.
And either supported by parents, or generous trust or other funds from family money, etc.
This set of 'kids' are blessedly -- and blissfully -- autonomous, living in lovely condos or apts., in sky high rental cost markets, while still in school or working part-time jobs, with limited, if any benefits.
Family support, no matter if the money is one or more generation removed, is a key, and not widely acknowledged, major part of making this equation work.
Freelance writing isn't a real solid gig, so that's one 'real world' leap for Mr. DeNunccio. Good luck.
I do give the author credit for breaking out at all.
I see a parallel universe where 'kids' will stay in school forever. First, the bachelor's. Then the masters. Then, if possible, work in academia. It's pretty much the only place they've ever been, from toddlerhood to late 20s. It, like the military, has a rhythm and hierarchy that is familiar and comforting.
It seems the safest course? and environment of choice for many a smart kid, encouraged since in the womb to reach for scholastic achievement at every turn.
And either supported by parents, or generous trust or other funds from family money, etc.
This set of 'kids' are blessedly -- and blissfully -- autonomous, living in lovely condos or apts., in sky high rental cost markets, while still in school or working part-time jobs, with limited, if any benefits.
Family support, no matter if the money is one or more generation removed, is a key, and not widely acknowledged, major part of making this equation work.
Freelance writing isn't a real solid gig, so that's one 'real world' leap for Mr. DeNunccio. Good luck.
1
Becoming a college professor was once a fabulous career aspiration with its life long tenure. But now it is one step up from driving an Uber in the current gig economy.
"..They took the news pretty well considering they had just shelled out more than $50,000 in tuition and living expenses at one of the ritziest private universities in the country..."
I see! And why could this not have been arranged before all that money was wasted on a pipe dream?
I see! And why could this not have been arranged before all that money was wasted on a pipe dream?
5
This was no pipe dream -- College credits don't go up in smoke if you take a few semesters off. They still count toward a degree, which this writer went on to earn in less time than most American students take.
5
I did something like this and for a similar issue - I wasn't progressing well at college (for multiple reasons). While I didn't head to Bali, I did get a job through a temp agency. I had a rather routine job as a data entry clerk, but I learned so much - how to show up on time, how to manage my schedule, how to work well with people my parents' age, how to negotiate office politics. No one cared that I had been attending a prestigious college. They just cared if I could do the work. I saved my money and used part of it to take a part-time college level course as well (paid for by me), so I wouldn't get completely out of the academic loop. After I returned to college, my new-found skills served me well, and I maintained an A average for the rest of my time there.
I think the key here is self-reliance, which can be found through travel as well as work. Kyle learned that on his gap year, as did I. Not sure where all the negativity is coming from.
I think the key here is self-reliance, which can be found through travel as well as work. Kyle learned that on his gap year, as did I. Not sure where all the negativity is coming from.
14
Enjoy yourself, but remember, you are not bullet proof. Injuries or diseases you get or catch can last a life time.
BE CAREFUL.
BE CAREFUL.
3
True. But you can break your elbow at the country club tennis court and catch a dangerous STD from a partner who went to Wellesley.
Risk is everywhere. Just use common sense, but don't stay home to stay safe.
Risk is everywhere. Just use common sense, but don't stay home to stay safe.
1
This article was well written but the benefits portrayed are subject to survivorship bias. How about the gap-year kids who overdosed in Thailand or Bali or developed addictions? How many gap year kids never returned to school and consequently cannot show an improvement in GPAs? How many gap year kids are working in positions at less than their full potential or dependent on handouts RELATIVE to non-gap year kid who graduated on schedule? How many gap year kids bought travelers insurance before dropping out? How many gap year kids while traveling overseas fell ill with hepatitis or worse?
3
You sound like someone who wears a helmet whenever he leaves the house. Maybe you take a gun along too, just in case. For the rest of us, great experiences involve a degree of risk that we are willing to take. Life would be quite uninteresting otherwise.
4
You sound wrong. I do not wear a helmet while riding a bike, BUT I pay for medical insurance for the worst case scenario.
You are wrong, yet again, I do not carry weapons. Perhaps you feel the need for weapons in NYC?
The rest of us includes me. I did a gap year and benefited from it.
I merely noted that survivorship bias affects the apparent benefit of the gap year, but you went on the attack mode and accused me of carrying weapons.
How caustic.
You are wrong, yet again, I do not carry weapons. Perhaps you feel the need for weapons in NYC?
The rest of us includes me. I did a gap year and benefited from it.
I merely noted that survivorship bias affects the apparent benefit of the gap year, but you went on the attack mode and accused me of carrying weapons.
How caustic.
1
Need to forward this to Garrison Kielor, who would , I'm sure approve. Not every high school grad. knows what they want to do or be and the year spent in the real world, especially if travel outside the U.S., can be very rewarding. He'll also love that there will be another English major. Lord knows we need more of them to keep us on an even cultural level.
4
My gap year included two tours of duty in the Persian Gulf with the US Navy.
Would not trade my gap year experience for anything.
Would not trade my gap year experience for anything.
14
Thank You for your service.
5
I think it is very difficult for contemporary young Americans to grasp what a powerful experience military service affords.
My dad, myself, and my daughter each spent four years in the war of their generation. Happily all survived, And none regretted the choice.
Mandatory national service (military, conservation corps, forest service, etc) would stiffen the backbone of the nation.
My dad, myself, and my daughter each spent four years in the war of their generation. Happily all survived, And none regretted the choice.
Mandatory national service (military, conservation corps, forest service, etc) would stiffen the backbone of the nation.
2
"A gap year was about removing those expectations, at least temporarily. It was a time when education ceased to be an act of dependence." I look forward to reading in the future that this author, not his parents, pays the tuition and expenses in his remaining education.
6
Please read the story before commenting. He returned to school, graduated, and now pays his own way.
2
My son had 4 gap years in a row, serving as an infantry soldier including 10 months in Afghanistan. Serve your country in some capacity.
12
Yeah, and pray and obey, always!! Don't ask, don't question anything!! Everything will be OK if it's left in the hands of those who know best! Stick to doing what you're told!!
4
Frea,
Not sure what in Mike's post earned such a response.
I think Mike suggested serving your country in some capacity.
That could include the privilege of feeding the homeless, helping the disabled or any other community service not just the honor of wearing this nation's uniform.
What's so wrong with that?
Not sure what in Mike's post earned such a response.
I think Mike suggested serving your country in some capacity.
That could include the privilege of feeding the homeless, helping the disabled or any other community service not just the honor of wearing this nation's uniform.
What's so wrong with that?
9
Re Frea: Not sure what you're talking about, but that's not the way the military works. You should look into what is required of people in the military, your military is probably not much different from ours. Young men and women in uniform are tasked with a variety of jobs, and they do them well. They serve their country honorably and that's more than most people in either of our countries.
3
Yeah, unless you're rich, go to college, graduate, get married, get a job, drop babies, get a motgage, get a car from the dealership, preferably a van, pay your taxes, move to the surbubs, pray on Sundays or whichever day your religion does, go on holiday once in a while only to Washington DC so the kids can learn about the greatness of the white men who founded the country, work for fourth years, work hard, don't be part of a union, don't complain, vote preferably republican, if you must go somewhere exotic go on a mission trip only then is it OK to experience the world, save for college, send the kids to college, retire, move like a vegetable to Florida, find an affordable house or something, hope it doesn't sink into a sinkhole, vote for anybody who wont cut your retirement entitlements, die. The world? Your world? Your planet? There's nothing to see, nothing to learn. Everything is right here! Forget them liberals!! Your whole world is right here in your tiny little town!! You have everything you need right here. Simply do as you're told! Don't ask any questions! Don't be a hippie!! Be good!!! Obey, and pray, always!!
8
Thank you for this well thought out comment. It is so very true and sad indeed.
2
Whoa Frea! You need to calm down! We all chart our own paths in this world, some like the suburbs, some like the city, some like it tropical, some like the snow. Obey who?
2
Yemenis is Mexican American young woman who is goal oriented and under major stress. While working at various jobs,she earned a. LVN and is now endeavoring to obtain a BS and a RN. She works full-time at a hospital and is really tired. The gap year is a middle-class concept
8
And that is ok if it makes them more sympathetic to people like Yemenis.
2
What a great article! I went to university at 18 because that was what was expected of me. I wasted four years hardly doing any work and getting awful marks and learning next to nothing. This was not the fault of the university or the professors - it was my immaturity. After graduating (barely) I worked for six years, and then went back to university to study history when I was 28. I had no social life and spent most of my waking hours in the library or behind a screen writing papers, and I absolutely loved it. Then I went to law school. If I could do it again, I would not have not gone to university at 18, but would've waited until I matured enough to be ready to go for the purpose of learning rather than partying. I'm 53 now and my son is a teenager. I would encourage a gap year (or gap four or five years). Sure, he may never go to university, but if he went just to make his mother and I happy, it would be a waste of his time and our money. See the world and experience life a bit first. Perspective and a broadening of horizons will hopefully steer him to university, or a trade or some other career that interests him eventually. The writer of this article is bang on!
7
I entered college at 17 in 1980 and took my last class in 2005. In that time, I dropped in and out and had a career (which will bring me a pension once I retire).
I, too, wish I would have waited for awhile. Once I went back to school at 30 years old, I was a lot more serious and also studied history, by the way. I received a Master's degree a few years after my college graduation and am now working in a much better field.
I, too, wish I would have waited for awhile. Once I went back to school at 30 years old, I was a lot more serious and also studied history, by the way. I received a Master's degree a few years after my college graduation and am now working in a much better field.
4
We didn't call them gap years in those days, but I took several of them (without the name).
Enrolled at an Ivy, after my freshman year I spent a year at the University of Ceylon (now Sri Lanka). There I took courses in Sanskrit, spoken Sinhala, Indian History, and development economics.
I returned to my Ivy for a year and then went to the Delhi School of Economics at the University of Delhi for two semesters of economics and politics.
That was followed by four months of roaming around Southeast Asia. Then a final Ivy year to collect my diploma before heading back to Indochina in the military for what turned out to be four eventful and memorable years.
Home from the war I went back to grad school at an Ivy for a year. Then spent a year at Punjab University in Lahore Pakistan (economics, politics).
Back to Ivy grad one last year and then joined the Foreign Service.
Thirty-two more "gap years" mostly in the Islamic world: Afghanistan, Egypt, Pakistan, Yemen, Tunisia. Most of my "down time" in Haleiwa on the North Shore of Oahu or in Paris.
So, I basically constructed an entire lifetime of "gap years". Now in retirement I encourage the young people who seek my advice to go anywhere, anytime, and by any means.
The "gaps" are the best part of life. The schooling doesn't hurt, and it provides some framework for the "gaps".
Enrolled at an Ivy, after my freshman year I spent a year at the University of Ceylon (now Sri Lanka). There I took courses in Sanskrit, spoken Sinhala, Indian History, and development economics.
I returned to my Ivy for a year and then went to the Delhi School of Economics at the University of Delhi for two semesters of economics and politics.
That was followed by four months of roaming around Southeast Asia. Then a final Ivy year to collect my diploma before heading back to Indochina in the military for what turned out to be four eventful and memorable years.
Home from the war I went back to grad school at an Ivy for a year. Then spent a year at Punjab University in Lahore Pakistan (economics, politics).
Back to Ivy grad one last year and then joined the Foreign Service.
Thirty-two more "gap years" mostly in the Islamic world: Afghanistan, Egypt, Pakistan, Yemen, Tunisia. Most of my "down time" in Haleiwa on the North Shore of Oahu or in Paris.
So, I basically constructed an entire lifetime of "gap years". Now in retirement I encourage the young people who seek my advice to go anywhere, anytime, and by any means.
The "gaps" are the best part of life. The schooling doesn't hurt, and it provides some framework for the "gaps".
13
@John B.
Can you explain how you were able to spend time in so many places? Trust fund? Parents paid your way? Made wealthy friends immediately? But you still needed plane fare to get to these places.
I’m from Hawai’i and being able to have “down time” in Hale’iwa on the North Shore of Oahu (this island is the City and County of Honolulu) is EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE...very few rentals in this resort town mostly made up of surfers looking for the perfect waves in the “7-mile Miracle”, home to legendary surf spots such as Banzai Pipeline, Sunset Beach, and Waimea Bay. It contains world-class waves for more experienced surfers from V-Land to Haleiwa!
Then you casually throw in more “down time...in Paris.” Paris is even more expensive than Haleiwa! A one BR apartment costs from 600 to 4,000 € and even a tiny studio can be 450 to 2500€ and that doesn’t include food, entertainment, minimal basics of furniture, etc in an unfurnished flat.
“Enquiring minds” would be VERY interested in knowing how you pulled this off!
Can you explain how you were able to spend time in so many places? Trust fund? Parents paid your way? Made wealthy friends immediately? But you still needed plane fare to get to these places.
I’m from Hawai’i and being able to have “down time” in Hale’iwa on the North Shore of Oahu (this island is the City and County of Honolulu) is EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE...very few rentals in this resort town mostly made up of surfers looking for the perfect waves in the “7-mile Miracle”, home to legendary surf spots such as Banzai Pipeline, Sunset Beach, and Waimea Bay. It contains world-class waves for more experienced surfers from V-Land to Haleiwa!
Then you casually throw in more “down time...in Paris.” Paris is even more expensive than Haleiwa! A one BR apartment costs from 600 to 4,000 € and even a tiny studio can be 450 to 2500€ and that doesn’t include food, entertainment, minimal basics of furniture, etc in an unfurnished flat.
“Enquiring minds” would be VERY interested in knowing how you pulled this off!
6
College $$$ Total (tuition/room/board/books) scholarship at Ivy, didn't take a dime from parents
Cost of University of Ceylon in 1963 tuition $240/Dorm $130 semester
Cost of Delhi School of Economics State Dept scholarship with air ticker.
Cost of University of Punjab Ford Foundation grant
Haleiwa Cost of two rooms in a nice home on Kamehameha Highway in the 1980s $600/month. went three times at about the same cost
Paris first time 1BR apt in 13th arrondissment. Walk up third floor. $550 month mid 80s
second time bigger on BR in the 10th with lift. $700/mo late 80s
third time back to 13th (Butte aux cailles) splurge on 2 BR with little balcony 1ere etage no lift. $1000/mo in early 90s.
4 years in the Indochina war: entirely paid for by Uncle Sam with a few bucks left over which paid for months of travel in Indonesia, Malaysia, Burma.
Money is not the limiting factor. Imagination, not budget, should always be your driver.
The rest takes care of itself.
My daughter roams the world ceaselessly (sometimes on someone else's dime, sometimes on her own). No worries.
Cost of University of Ceylon in 1963 tuition $240/Dorm $130 semester
Cost of Delhi School of Economics State Dept scholarship with air ticker.
Cost of University of Punjab Ford Foundation grant
Haleiwa Cost of two rooms in a nice home on Kamehameha Highway in the 1980s $600/month. went three times at about the same cost
Paris first time 1BR apt in 13th arrondissment. Walk up third floor. $550 month mid 80s
second time bigger on BR in the 10th with lift. $700/mo late 80s
third time back to 13th (Butte aux cailles) splurge on 2 BR with little balcony 1ere etage no lift. $1000/mo in early 90s.
4 years in the Indochina war: entirely paid for by Uncle Sam with a few bucks left over which paid for months of travel in Indonesia, Malaysia, Burma.
Money is not the limiting factor. Imagination, not budget, should always be your driver.
The rest takes care of itself.
My daughter roams the world ceaselessly (sometimes on someone else's dime, sometimes on her own). No worries.
1
In grad school days I had three overlapping scholarships:
1) GI Bill
2) Woodrow Wilson Fellowship
3) Danforth Fellowship
This allowed me to rent a small house in the country 15 miles from campus with five fenced acres and a barn, keep six sheep, and live a rustic/genteel life while my grad school colleagues subsisted in grubby student apts and at lentil soup most days.
It also left some spare $$ for trips to Europe and Asia.
And then I joined the foreign service who bought all the tickets, paid for many hotels, and allowed me to live for most of 35 years in wonderful foreign countries.
After retirement, for a while, I did consulting "missions" for the World Bank to foreign countries - well funded and intellectually challenging.
Now, as a retired codger, I go where I want and when I want.
There is an art to life. Seize every opportunity is the first step to mastering this art.
1) GI Bill
2) Woodrow Wilson Fellowship
3) Danforth Fellowship
This allowed me to rent a small house in the country 15 miles from campus with five fenced acres and a barn, keep six sheep, and live a rustic/genteel life while my grad school colleagues subsisted in grubby student apts and at lentil soup most days.
It also left some spare $$ for trips to Europe and Asia.
And then I joined the foreign service who bought all the tickets, paid for many hotels, and allowed me to live for most of 35 years in wonderful foreign countries.
After retirement, for a while, I did consulting "missions" for the World Bank to foreign countries - well funded and intellectually challenging.
Now, as a retired codger, I go where I want and when I want.
There is an art to life. Seize every opportunity is the first step to mastering this art.
1
The financial numbers don't seem to match up.
How did you afford to go from $ 5 an hour in Puerto Rico to Indonesia ?
How did you afford to go from $ 5 an hour in Puerto Rico to Indonesia ?
13
Of course they dont...he had seed money...from the 'Rents.
7
Left that part out didn't he
4
@John Brown
How did he afford it? If his parents could afford $50,000 JUST for tuition--then add on room, board, transportation, expenses--I’m pretty sure they provided flight fare!
How did he afford it? If his parents could afford $50,000 JUST for tuition--then add on room, board, transportation, expenses--I’m pretty sure they provided flight fare!
5
I left graduate school, and my luxurious $3600 stipend (it was 1972), planning never to go back. I parked cars and waited tables for a year in the mountains. Loved it, but it was the time of Watergate, it was right after Attica and in the midst of Kissinger's war, and I could finally see some link between grad school and the world around me. Especially Attica. I did movement work on behalf of the prisoners, went to law school (state school, affordable), and never looked back. That gap year completely changed my work and my life. Gap years aren't quite the same now ... I got slightly nauseous looking at the two kids in the boat in Bali and wondered if they talked to the poor folk, but the idea is sound.
6
My biggest take aways from this article is that the author didn't know what he wanted to do with his life, and didn't value the money spent on his education. He took a break and came back when he figured it out. How is that a bad thing, whatever you call it? And how is it less virtuous than when I was young and this path was more commonly called "dropping out", getting a job and going back to night school?
32
I am going to add this recent commentary from local education and public servant (now avid bee-keeper) Bill Mares:
"I propose the topic of universal service – otherwise known as the draft.
To begin with, at age 18, every young man and woman would receive a choice of options for national service. In addition to the five branches of the military, graduates would learn about new civilian service branches organized around issues like education, health care and poverty, even infrastructure projects, a la the Civilian Conservation Corps of the 1930's. It seems patently unfair that just a small percentage of young Americans do the fighting for the rest of us, and creating a civilian option would provide a counterbalance to the notion that public service is only the duty of those in uniform.
We could create one million full-time civilian national-service positions. Universities and corporations, among other institutions, could help make national service obligatory - and socially acceptable. Schools could adjust their admissions policies - and employers their hiring practices – in order to benefit those who serve.
In both service paths, recruits would meet people unlike themselves, members of other classes and ethnic groups, with different aspirations. Young recruits would learn that shared sacrifice by the individual, for the sake of the community, lies at the heart of good citizenship.".
"I propose the topic of universal service – otherwise known as the draft.
To begin with, at age 18, every young man and woman would receive a choice of options for national service. In addition to the five branches of the military, graduates would learn about new civilian service branches organized around issues like education, health care and poverty, even infrastructure projects, a la the Civilian Conservation Corps of the 1930's. It seems patently unfair that just a small percentage of young Americans do the fighting for the rest of us, and creating a civilian option would provide a counterbalance to the notion that public service is only the duty of those in uniform.
We could create one million full-time civilian national-service positions. Universities and corporations, among other institutions, could help make national service obligatory - and socially acceptable. Schools could adjust their admissions policies - and employers their hiring practices – in order to benefit those who serve.
In both service paths, recruits would meet people unlike themselves, members of other classes and ethnic groups, with different aspirations. Young recruits would learn that shared sacrifice by the individual, for the sake of the community, lies at the heart of good citizenship.".
16
"They took the news pretty well considering they had just shelled out more than $50,000 in tuition and living expenses .."
The "Ugly American" strikes again - throwing 50K in the garbage - Ouch!!
The "Ugly American" strikes again - throwing 50K in the garbage - Ouch!!
9
Kyle - your writing speaks for itself! Well done, young man!
7
Come on really? So he can write...he fulfilled the requirement to learn his native tongue. Wow! Another millennial manages to do the least thing expected and win praise for it!
Kudos to him for posting - after all this is just a long post - of the millennial "look at me!" Facebook entry.
Kudos to him for posting - after all this is just a long post - of the millennial "look at me!" Facebook entry.
4
This article just yells privilege all over it: attended a school costing $50k per year, dares to compare the cost of tuition with that of independent traveling, and he's a freelance writer based in SF. Come on.
15
I'd rather have read an article that detailed the precise financials of how he manages to live in San Francisco -- the most costly real estate region in the US, with average $3900 rent on a STUDIO apartment -- while only working "freelance" which is short hand for "not really employed".
It would take a minimum income of $65,000 to merely survive in San Francisco, and that's with a tiny, cruddy apartment -- no car -- no vacations EVER -- no partying or fun times -- just work and sleep.
It would be extraordinary if he earned anything close to this as a freelance writer.
It would take a minimum income of $65,000 to merely survive in San Francisco, and that's with a tiny, cruddy apartment -- no car -- no vacations EVER -- no partying or fun times -- just work and sleep.
It would be extraordinary if he earned anything close to this as a freelance writer.
3
Good article, Kyle!
2
This writer is a poster child for income inequality and Veblen's theory of the "unearned increment."
12
Interesting that well-cushioned Kyle never considered a two-year stint in the military.
14
I'm not sure what anyone should learn from this. A rich kid goes to college, goofs off, is able to skate around a year and finally arrives at revelation. All he did was prove that the gap year is a rich kid thing. He actually used college debt as a reason to do it.
How about an essay from someone who knew how to work hard as an 18 year old who goes to college successfully the first time through?
How about an essay from someone who knew how to work hard as an 18 year old who goes to college successfully the first time through?
16
Nice job, Kyle. A reasoned, well written, and honest reflection on your gap year experience. You'll do well in your chosen profession if you continue to write like this.
NYTimes commenters are turning into mean spirited caricatures of liberal outrage. Not everything should be a target for outrage. Certainly not this article.
NYTimes commenters are turning into mean spirited caricatures of liberal outrage. Not everything should be a target for outrage. Certainly not this article.
29
Its not outrage, and not every NYT reader, in my case reader and subscriber, is a devout liberal. Far from it...
Its not outrage its more of a, "you've got to be kidding me!" - another privileged kid tries to make their quest for life experiences seem special and important. Experiences that the rest of us see as pedestrian and normal, but to priviledge is seen as exotic. "Ohhh, scrubbing dishes for $5/hr...thats so common-man...gonna make me a man, gonna make a great story for my blog, and great equalizer..."
Phooey!
Wheres the pathos, the suffering, the real human interest stuff? This piece was hardly much of a Hero Journey...as he was never truly tested, never entered the Inner Cave, didnt retrieve any treasure, and suffered nothing on the road back.
Its not outrage its more of a, "you've got to be kidding me!" - another privileged kid tries to make their quest for life experiences seem special and important. Experiences that the rest of us see as pedestrian and normal, but to priviledge is seen as exotic. "Ohhh, scrubbing dishes for $5/hr...thats so common-man...gonna make me a man, gonna make a great story for my blog, and great equalizer..."
Phooey!
Wheres the pathos, the suffering, the real human interest stuff? This piece was hardly much of a Hero Journey...as he was never truly tested, never entered the Inner Cave, didnt retrieve any treasure, and suffered nothing on the road back.
13
He is trying to convince all people of privilege that a gap year may make them a better human being because they will see more of the real world. The alternative may be finishing college, getting a high paying job and never getting outside his bubble. I guess the article's audience is other rich people who can learn from his experience.
2
I asked for advice from a stranger about a girl I never met. She was planning to live with her grandmother and attend the state university. The locally well know author told me that the most important thing was for her to be friends with people who attend their classes. That seemed brilliant to me, and the first thing I noticed about this man was that his friends were blowing off their work.
4
Is this the definition of white privilege?
4
I did not come from the privilege that the author of this piece did, but I still appreciated it nonetheless. I found it well written and insightful.
I am surprised by the animosity of many of the other comments, however. It appears that many people came into reading this with giant chips on their shoulder, sometimes so big that they weren't able to comprehend the essay properly. For one thing, the author is not some college kid, but an adult who graduated from college and is now self-sustaining. This piece was reflecting on the gap year he took *many* years ago.
Heaven forbid the author chose to learn about himself in the time he took off from college, instead of doing something else that the general public would approve of, which apparently the general public does not.
I am ultimately rather disgusted at the negative comments. Perhaps they are envious of the opportunities this man had, but it also reflects why the country is in its current state. People's minds are already made up no matter what someone else has to say. The days of having an open mind and appreciating someone else's experience are gone.
I am surprised by the animosity of many of the other comments, however. It appears that many people came into reading this with giant chips on their shoulder, sometimes so big that they weren't able to comprehend the essay properly. For one thing, the author is not some college kid, but an adult who graduated from college and is now self-sustaining. This piece was reflecting on the gap year he took *many* years ago.
Heaven forbid the author chose to learn about himself in the time he took off from college, instead of doing something else that the general public would approve of, which apparently the general public does not.
I am ultimately rather disgusted at the negative comments. Perhaps they are envious of the opportunities this man had, but it also reflects why the country is in its current state. People's minds are already made up no matter what someone else has to say. The days of having an open mind and appreciating someone else's experience are gone.
60
Susan,
I think what may be gone is that many of us are jaded about hearing of the experiences of those who have been blessed and have a safety net.
There is just too much pain out there.
I help run a weekly meal service in Manhattan. We served 1495 meals this past Sunday to those in need.
Sadly, that is an average number.
Tomorrow I will volunteer cleaning a homeless shelter as I do twice a month.
There are so many that are just one pay check from being without food or perhaps homeless.
I find it a positive thing that folks are not happy with the story printed in the Times about self indulgence.
There are many ways to take a gap
I took a summer traveling. That was my gap and then went to school at night while working.
There are many roads but this piece was about someone reflecting back and I saw nothing in it about the impact it made on how this person regards his fellow man
I think what may be gone is that many of us are jaded about hearing of the experiences of those who have been blessed and have a safety net.
There is just too much pain out there.
I help run a weekly meal service in Manhattan. We served 1495 meals this past Sunday to those in need.
Sadly, that is an average number.
Tomorrow I will volunteer cleaning a homeless shelter as I do twice a month.
There are so many that are just one pay check from being without food or perhaps homeless.
I find it a positive thing that folks are not happy with the story printed in the Times about self indulgence.
There are many ways to take a gap
I took a summer traveling. That was my gap and then went to school at night while working.
There are many roads but this piece was about someone reflecting back and I saw nothing in it about the impact it made on how this person regards his fellow man
7
Andrew,
Since you have implied that you must have certain "service" credentials for your opinion to matter, I will tell you that for the last 3 years, I have volunteered at least 30 hours per week in a school that serves some of the most underserved, neglected people in our society. And I promise you, the people in that community would have far more empathy for Kyle than you do. I continually wonder why many liberals abhor stereotypes, bias, and all of the hateful rhetoric that accompanies it, except when we are talking about the affluent. Then it is all ok. I fail to understand why anyone's struggles and challenges might matter less than another's struggles and challenges. Sure, not having money to buy your family food is far worse than not finding yourself in college. But why do we have to mock the latter to honor the former? Money can solve a lot of things, but it can't give one innate purpose and it can't give one perspective. I would think you'd applaud Kyle for leaving his comfort zone and living in another culture, with little creature comfort, to promote perspective. After all, isn't that the biggest liberal complaint about the affluent? That they have no perspective? That they have no clue? Then a kid like Kyle makes an effort, and he is mocked for that. If you treated any other group of people that way, you'd be considered the worst kind of bigot. Yet in the comment section of the NY Times, it is not just acceptable, it is cheered and applauded. Sad.
Since you have implied that you must have certain "service" credentials for your opinion to matter, I will tell you that for the last 3 years, I have volunteered at least 30 hours per week in a school that serves some of the most underserved, neglected people in our society. And I promise you, the people in that community would have far more empathy for Kyle than you do. I continually wonder why many liberals abhor stereotypes, bias, and all of the hateful rhetoric that accompanies it, except when we are talking about the affluent. Then it is all ok. I fail to understand why anyone's struggles and challenges might matter less than another's struggles and challenges. Sure, not having money to buy your family food is far worse than not finding yourself in college. But why do we have to mock the latter to honor the former? Money can solve a lot of things, but it can't give one innate purpose and it can't give one perspective. I would think you'd applaud Kyle for leaving his comfort zone and living in another culture, with little creature comfort, to promote perspective. After all, isn't that the biggest liberal complaint about the affluent? That they have no perspective? That they have no clue? Then a kid like Kyle makes an effort, and he is mocked for that. If you treated any other group of people that way, you'd be considered the worst kind of bigot. Yet in the comment section of the NY Times, it is not just acceptable, it is cheered and applauded. Sad.
4
Andrew, your last sentence is not true. It's a short piece and he doesn't go into detail, but he mentions how being considered "dumb" for not speaking Spanish in Puerto Rico made him more understanding of the struggles of those for whom English is not their first language. He talks about how working for a living at a boring unpleasant job made him aware of what many people's lives are like. He may not have spent his year specifically helping others, and who knows how much he's really learned, but it's incorrect to say that there's nothing in it about 'the impact it made on how this person regards his fellow man."
4
Why does he need to take a gap year to figure out things other students can do while in school? For every student that has to find himself such as Kyle, I am reminded of the many who hustle for scholarships and juggle responsibilities to prepare for post high school academic life. As a donor of endowments for post high secondary education, I am always impressed by the caliber of students applying for financial aid. While Kyle's efforts contributed to his present success, they are much ado about close to nothing. Sorry. Just not impressed with financial secure students doing their thing - makes pleasant reading but basically fluff.
11
Give me a break! Not the kid who wrote this. The naysayers. Rich and poor. Boys and girls, as I think my own experience proved, can do it. I too was flunking out. Draft breathing down my neck. So I split. Europe first, then North Africa and the Middle East. Hitchhiking. Trains. Busses. Boats. third class. Youth hostels. Cheap Trattorias; cheap beer. Traveled alone, or with friends newly made from the hostel. Girls and boys - from UCLA, Berkeley, Gonzaga, Willamette. Splitting up when interests diverged - me to Rome, her to Denmark, him to Paris. Friends and family called us dropouts; we called ourselves Travelers, snickering a little at the "year abroad" kids and the "Summer Screamers," the ones with First Class Eurail Passes, staying at nice Pensiones, drinking beer at the Hofbrau Haus. Mostly they snubbed us. But some would let us sleep on the floor. Nice! We worked in Breweries, restaurants and sold blood when we could. I worked as an extra on a movie and a month on a Kibbutz. Hitchhiked with a Minnesota girl from Spain to Cairo; another from Beirut to Aqaba (Petra) and then to Israel. Two girls there, one from Portugal, the other from Ohio (via Vassar) taught us the ropes of Kibbutz life and harvesting bananas.
Eighteen month after leaving, returned home. Did my army thing. Back to school. Retired now. Did well. My two girls, now both professionals, did pretty much the same.
Ya, life was simpler then. But this Gap year thing ain't jus for the rich, or for boys.
Eighteen month after leaving, returned home. Did my army thing. Back to school. Retired now. Did well. My two girls, now both professionals, did pretty much the same.
Ya, life was simpler then. But this Gap year thing ain't jus for the rich, or for boys.
27
A gap year can be of benefit if it is actually planned to be of benefit. If it is just a long vacation that is probably not a good idea.
11
Why not. What's wrong with taking a year out to travel and broaden your horizons? If you can save the airfare you can find work overseas fruit picking etc and save more to travel and meet other people doing the same stuff and travel together swap tips for trips and jobs. Thousands come to Australia every year under such a scheme and learn more about the world, resilience, independence etc than they would in a class room. And have some fun at the same time. Surely you have a year to spare in your life before you get tied down to student loans, work, mortgage and family obligations. Think outside the box square one.
3
Thanks Kyle for sharing your experience. I took a gap year after graduating from college. I participated in an internship program with Save the Children and lived in Bolivia for 8 months. That led me to enter the US Peace Corps where I served in Africa. These experiences inspired me to go to medical school.
Just have to add that my alma mater, a public university, has a 4 graduation rate of 80%. That would be UC Berkeley - go bears!
UCLA, another public university where I went to medical school, has a 4 year undergrad graduation rate of 70%. Go Bruins!
Just have to add that my alma mater, a public university, has a 4 graduation rate of 80%. That would be UC Berkeley - go bears!
UCLA, another public university where I went to medical school, has a 4 year undergrad graduation rate of 70%. Go Bruins!
8
Many of these lessons can be learned in high school by getting a job. Most importantly is that money equals independence. My gap year was five years in the US Army after high school, a move that many kids make with parents that can't afford to sponser their continuing education. I'll be encouraging my twelve year old to get after school employment in a couple of years. But I must say I will be happy to pay her tuition and allowance for a gap year in hope that she avoids the military.
7
What's the matter with the military?
It sounds to me that this young man took a few months to earn money, then the rest of his 'gap year' he traveled to surfing spots. So those few months working for a paycheck really made an impact... well at least he got published in the NYTimes!
4
Way back in high school a teacher of mine once said: "Responsibility. It's the biggest word in the language." He only said it that one time, yet I never forgot it and I have to confess that I haven't always applied the lesson. This young man has absorbed that lesson early and it sounds like he's going to keep it in the forefront of his mind. Bravo.
5
I understand the attraction of a "gap" year. I took a year off in college to work and be (temporarily) married. It reinvigorated my interest in "intellectual" things, which I felt killed off by the rigidity of school and now was able to explore on my own. I learned that there were things I thought I wouldn't mind doing that I did not want to do, before I graduated college. I lived for most of that on my own with my wife, and certainly grew in some ways because of that experience. And I was determined to do better and did do better when I went back to school. It is a luxury, not an entitlement and I don't think everyone will naturally benefit from it just as not everyone benefits from college.
2
So the entitled youth of America want free college (anyone remember the candidate of the college set, Sanders', campaign plank?) as well as the opportunity to take a year off from college to surf
How wonderful for them
As the article mentioned about 1 in 10 college students are homeless (must be a very different socio-economic background then the writer of this piece)
Oh and 46 million Americans at some point during the year will rely on free food
NYC shelters have a record population of over 60,000. Over a third of which are children. Homeless rates in other metropolitan areas of the country have even higher rates than NYC.
So take a year off and serve the nation and your neighbors as a volunteer. Distribute food, help fund raise for charities, clean homeless shelters, spend time with the 60% of seniors in nursing homes that never have a visitor, clean the parks and garden lands, spend time with a homeless child in a shelter, help educate a child or an adult seeking a high school degree
But don't just develop more ways to separate yourselves from the other more than half of America that is not as fortunate.
Put down the surfboard and broaden your experience to include those who did not win the genetic lottery.
How wonderful for them
As the article mentioned about 1 in 10 college students are homeless (must be a very different socio-economic background then the writer of this piece)
Oh and 46 million Americans at some point during the year will rely on free food
NYC shelters have a record population of over 60,000. Over a third of which are children. Homeless rates in other metropolitan areas of the country have even higher rates than NYC.
So take a year off and serve the nation and your neighbors as a volunteer. Distribute food, help fund raise for charities, clean homeless shelters, spend time with the 60% of seniors in nursing homes that never have a visitor, clean the parks and garden lands, spend time with a homeless child in a shelter, help educate a child or an adult seeking a high school degree
But don't just develop more ways to separate yourselves from the other more than half of America that is not as fortunate.
Put down the surfboard and broaden your experience to include those who did not win the genetic lottery.
21
The reason young people did not used to take gap years is because most worked all through their teen years.
Nothing quite like working at a low wage job for years and years in order to have pocket money and/or help your family to focus your mind on a college major, which will most assuredly not be 18th Century French Poetry with a minor in Gender Studies.
Nothing quite like working at a low wage job for years and years in order to have pocket money and/or help your family to focus your mind on a college major, which will most assuredly not be 18th Century French Poetry with a minor in Gender Studies.
14
I have three degrees. I took a lot of community college classes before starting a four year university. My husband did the same. I didn't get serious about my studies until I was twenty five. My parents would have wasted money if I started straight college straight out of high school. I had very little student loan debt and ended up choosing a field that I've worked in for almost 30 years. With the high costs of college today and dim employment prospects, I think the gap year(s) is probably something more young people should consider.
16
Why stop there, Kyle? Take a gap life while you're at it; you may compile a lot of priceless memories by the end of it, as opposed to all those bitter college graduates whose dreams never happened and debts never got any easier to pay off.
By the way, who's your friend?
By the way, who's your friend?
6
I love this piece! Sure, Kyle's privileged, but he didn't ask his parents to pay tens of thousands for him to go volunteer in a third world country--he worked!
I took my gap year(s) after college--said tongue in cheek, but since I graduated early, I took time off after graduation to move to the mountains and work for minimum wage.
I took my gap year(s) after college--said tongue in cheek, but since I graduated early, I took time off after graduation to move to the mountains and work for minimum wage.
3
Actually Kyle, pay close attention to the alleged negative comments. They are the lesson generators, not the kudos.
As a later Millennial you've likely been kudo'd to death. You need to learn that not everything you do is special. FYI; growing up (if you have) is not special! Its expected. Poor or privileged, don't matter.
Back in my day we took a "gap" out of necessity not to find ourselves or break from Mums & Dadums. We had to! Money and freedom was earned, not handed out. By 21-25 you were expected to have already broken free of the 'Rents. Wherever we went we worked for it, and I in particular worked when I got there. There was no fall-back plan, going home was not an option, but a complete failure.
My gap time was spent learning skills - construction specifically. As a job was available anyplace if you could swing a hammer and wield power-tools. (still is actually) We didnt go to Bali, we went local, or if far like New Orleans - the journey there was more often the real teacher.
And we certainly didnt look at what we did as worth crowing about. Growing up wasn't a thing we embarked on, it simply was what you did. Period. In fact, we didn't think about earning grown-up points, so we'd get the merit badge for participating. We didnt do hard work as some sort of life-experience, we did it because it paid a wage, to add to the 2-3 other jobs we had.
Im so tired of this generation and its enablers acting like growing up is special, like you all invented it all.
As a later Millennial you've likely been kudo'd to death. You need to learn that not everything you do is special. FYI; growing up (if you have) is not special! Its expected. Poor or privileged, don't matter.
Back in my day we took a "gap" out of necessity not to find ourselves or break from Mums & Dadums. We had to! Money and freedom was earned, not handed out. By 21-25 you were expected to have already broken free of the 'Rents. Wherever we went we worked for it, and I in particular worked when I got there. There was no fall-back plan, going home was not an option, but a complete failure.
My gap time was spent learning skills - construction specifically. As a job was available anyplace if you could swing a hammer and wield power-tools. (still is actually) We didnt go to Bali, we went local, or if far like New Orleans - the journey there was more often the real teacher.
And we certainly didnt look at what we did as worth crowing about. Growing up wasn't a thing we embarked on, it simply was what you did. Period. In fact, we didn't think about earning grown-up points, so we'd get the merit badge for participating. We didnt do hard work as some sort of life-experience, we did it because it paid a wage, to add to the 2-3 other jobs we had.
Im so tired of this generation and its enablers acting like growing up is special, like you all invented it all.
16
There is one underappreciated fact that is referenced - but not articulated in this piece. Gap year programs cannot be funded with 529 college savings plans; these have a requirement that the expense is for a program that satisfies matriculation requirements (something like that). I can't be the only parent to be surprised by this feature
2
After 13 consecutive years of school and now a successful college junior, my son took a break between high school and college to job hunt, work, explore various careers by shadowing adult friends and relatives at their jobs, and travel. He worked multiple part-time jobs for six months to earn money for college and to pay for six months of travel throughout Southeast Asia and South America, a trip he planned, implemented and paid for entirely on his own. Letting him go was one of the best parenting decisions I've made, and I always enjoy the chance to share my son's gap year blog with other young people and parents considering whether or not to delay college for year. https://sportoholic4.wordpress.com/about/
9
Having read the article Kyle I think of our three sons all in their late 40’s and early 50’s. They all attended college and are doing great. But what occurred to me after reading and thinking a little about your “gap year” wasn’t whether or not it was the right thing to do. It was a young man, Kyle DeNuccio, a freelance writer has an article published in a world renowned newspaper. The New York Times. You are definitely on track, and your parents must be especially proud of their son.
Good luck, and I wish you a safe journey in life.
Good luck, and I wish you a safe journey in life.
9
Need a gap? Have you thought of joining the military? Do something for your country rather than yourself. Not only will you be a better, more rounded person for your experience but you'll even get some financial help via the GI Bill when you return.
4
Disregard the negativity in some of the posts here, Kyle. Kudos for you for instinctively knowing how to find your way. We don't choose the socio-economic class or circumstances we're born into - for better or for worse - and our job is to not be defined by it. You seem to have succeeded. Keep up the good thinking and writing!
29
Taking a gap year is not an elite’s privilege and can be any one's call. Breaking the barriers of conformity and dependency can be very liberating if one does it out of passion for life and for meaningful pursuits, and the call usually comes when one is ready to take full ownership of their destiny, when one is hungry enough for self-knowledge, curious enough to explore life's meaning, generous enough to be at life's service. Making the best of a gap year requires a certain outlook on life and the confidence needed to take that first step.....this is certainly not limited to one year, it is a lifelong endeavor if one possesses the spirit of a true life traveler
4
Mr DeNuccio exhibits alot of wisdom, thoughtfulness, and insightfulness for someone his age. Bravo for having the guts to take the path less traveled. Gap years have value, and are more accessible to the wealthy and well-connected. The answer is not to increase financing availability. Easy access to student loans drives up tuition, and has created a bonanza for higher ed, including beauty schools and others where graduates don't make enough to pay back their loans. But none of this is ever mentioned to prospective students. Higher ed is mindlessly touted as purely a good thing, no matter the costs.
3
The path less traveled? Really? So going out and getting ones hands dirty in order to survive on ones own is now the path less traveled?!
Wow, we use to call that growing up. And we didn't have a choice. Nor did we write articles looking for kudos for doing what was expected of us. "Hey, look at me I scrubbed dirty dishes! Ain't I special!"
Once upon a time teens and young adults were expected to get jobs and work while going to school. You know, in order to learn how to work. To be on time, to listen to directions, and show a later post-graduation employer that you could do a job and hold one.
Apparently now growing-up is something to be embarked upon, like a cruise. Time to grow-up, lets see...what are my options? Travel to exotic places, or get dirty like real people?
You know what the poor call their gap-years? Normal life. Working odd hours, studying between shifts, on breaks, then repeating the next and the next day. (hell, you dont even have to be poor, just avg middle-class!)
And free-lance writing is the end results of the authors awesome growing-up life experiences? Adding to the "Look at Me, Im special" genre of Hipsters and Millennial's? Didn't they get enough of that growing up when they got awards for merely showing up...?
Phooey!
If I had $50K as back up in my day...wow! Wow! I might be president! Oh wait, that took a million from dadums...
Wow, we use to call that growing up. And we didn't have a choice. Nor did we write articles looking for kudos for doing what was expected of us. "Hey, look at me I scrubbed dirty dishes! Ain't I special!"
Once upon a time teens and young adults were expected to get jobs and work while going to school. You know, in order to learn how to work. To be on time, to listen to directions, and show a later post-graduation employer that you could do a job and hold one.
Apparently now growing-up is something to be embarked upon, like a cruise. Time to grow-up, lets see...what are my options? Travel to exotic places, or get dirty like real people?
You know what the poor call their gap-years? Normal life. Working odd hours, studying between shifts, on breaks, then repeating the next and the next day. (hell, you dont even have to be poor, just avg middle-class!)
And free-lance writing is the end results of the authors awesome growing-up life experiences? Adding to the "Look at Me, Im special" genre of Hipsters and Millennial's? Didn't they get enough of that growing up when they got awards for merely showing up...?
Phooey!
If I had $50K as back up in my day...wow! Wow! I might be president! Oh wait, that took a million from dadums...
4
He was clearly expected to go to college, as was likely the case for his high school classmates. He was in college, so his decision to leave college requires courage because it IS the road less traveled among his compatriots who passively take the path that is expected of them.
This young man happily returned to college after his foray with difficult low-wage jobs, knowing that his parents were waiting with $50,000 a year to fund the rest of his education. What if he had REALLY established independence and paid for the rest of his education himself, working difficult low-wage jobs and enrolling in a lower-cost public college or university? Bah.
16
Fascinating story but please remember that most people will never have the chance to visit San Diego much less Bali. Whether it stems from lack of cash, imagination or dreams the great majority won't don't or can't choose options like the young man in this story. Glad it turned out well for him though. My own chance at college slipped away after 2 years of avoidance of all class work and I resigned myself to the working life for my future. 45 years later I wonder what might have been...
8
Art, yours is the most poignant paragraph in this discussion.
Youngsters..........read Art's words. Ponder them. Act upon what they are telling you.
Youngsters..........read Art's words. Ponder them. Act upon what they are telling you.
4
My son took a gap year on his own dime with money he'd saved from grandparents' Xmas checks and babysitting, etc. I freed up the co-signed account with the proviso he could not spend it on a car or guitar or other toy. He made his own arrangements to travel East to visit nearly unknown relatives by train, plane and bus. It was a good use of his childhood savings account. Now, I understand, the habit of savings has been lost in the mists of prosperity and helicopter parenting.
1
There is nothing like washing dishes for a few month to make you realize that you don't want to spend your life doing that and to make you appreciate the opportunity of going to college. I think that a gap year is a terrific idea for young people and if they want do volunteer work, so much the better. I wish I had taken one.
I spent the first few semesters drifting through college trying to minimize my effort and was rewarded with commensurate grades. It wasn't until I had a clear motivation, in my case, wanting to go on a junior year abroad to learn French, that I really began to apply myself. I think that the middle class and affluent take as a given that college comes directly after high school but college doesn't prepare you very well for real life and the debts that students undertake without clear motivation are staggering.
I spent the first few semesters drifting through college trying to minimize my effort and was rewarded with commensurate grades. It wasn't until I had a clear motivation, in my case, wanting to go on a junior year abroad to learn French, that I really began to apply myself. I think that the middle class and affluent take as a given that college comes directly after high school but college doesn't prepare you very well for real life and the debts that students undertake without clear motivation are staggering.
9
Wrong, the middle classes, what is truly middle-class, don't see any other option but college...as a way out to the better promised lands. Correct perception or not, its usually not an option, but an imperative to go to college.
3
I was not really arguing with the notion that college is important and I certainly think that an education is important separately form it's economic benefits. My point is that in my experience, a year spent seeing what it is like to pay bills and hold down a low level job is extremely instructive in terms of focus, purpose and work ethic. There are plenty of kids that can apply themselves, but there is a significant number who would benefit from a year off before starting. It also helps a young and sheltered person understand the value of money before they cavalierly commit to spending between $100K and $400K in ready cash.
I have two sons in college. They are doing well, but you can be darn sure I will be forwarding this article to them. Life experience teaches far more than a classroom ever could. Maybe they'll embrace the idea, maybe they won't. But as their parent and the person they turn to for advice (at times), I think it's only fair I show them there are options to the path to success, when so much of our society believes there is only one way.
3
What an excellent read! Well written and compelling.
2
As a parent on the other end of the author's life experience, Thanks for this perspective, and I wish you continued good luck. You seem to have grown considerably and appreciate your independence and self reliance. The toughest thing for me was the day my daughter left home for a SoCal college, from which she wouldn't return (eventually graduating and finding her own successful career path). All parents want, I believe, is to smooth this hard time of growth as much as possible. We want to help you avoid potential mistakes, both in judgement and direction. The goal is always (at least for me) protection. It's our ironic desire to attempt to spare you what, for many of us, were avoidable bad experiences. The irony is that trying to communicate this idea frequently fails ("you're old, you don't know what it's like for me"). However, that perspective is probably too subjective. It's only after both of us have been through them, that we can agree on common insights.
My son recently graduated, as well, and he's on his way, living away from home since high school, and doing well.
One thing: given the unpredictability of the current government's apparent fiscal cruelty to its citizens, I'd advise against taking that Pell grant money for granted. A gap year may be more expensive than you'd planned. Good luck!
My son recently graduated, as well, and he's on his way, living away from home since high school, and doing well.
One thing: given the unpredictability of the current government's apparent fiscal cruelty to its citizens, I'd advise against taking that Pell grant money for granted. A gap year may be more expensive than you'd planned. Good luck!
6
As an educator, I see too many unfocused students who are uncertain for their futures or grappling with an overwhelming array of choices. I also see older adults who want to return to school after making poor choices in their earlier college experiences who become more focused as they gain outside experience. The gap year may not always result in introspection or re-evaluation of one's direction, and it's not a guarantee of finding answers,but it's worth a shot---better than seeing people waste precious time and money going through the motions of pursuing a college degree, when some time off might help them become more focused and energized and then come to appreciate what a college education really means.
6
A lot of discussion about cost, but it's not that complicated. I took gap semesters all through undergraduate and graduate school, changed schools a couple of times, worked hard, traveled cheaply, studied seriously, and was enriched by the variety of experiences--doing farm labor, studying at community college, learning Spanish living in Mexico, transferring to university, working construction and saving money, a cheap 3 months in Italy and Greece, finishing university, teaching for the military, going to graduate school while waiting tables. My parents didn't fund any of it, I got student loans, shared a beater car with roommates (or didn't have one), and lived on very little.
Expensive schools, travel, and toys aren't required for a 20 yr old to live a rich and productive life.
Expensive schools, travel, and toys aren't required for a 20 yr old to live a rich and productive life.
24
Americans are so indoctrinated with their own “exceptional,” isolated reality that the notion of a gap year seems like such an exotic and controversial concept. From birth we are force fed images of wealth and power and the paths toward those things. Go to school; get good grades; go to a good college; get a good job – a job that is all part of the endless loop of wealth creation because that is what we value in America. We march lock step toward the Holy Grail of wealth and power because that is what is rewarded in America. But how many of us get a chance to experience the world outside of the American bubble, to speak other languages, to live in other cultures, to absorb other viewpoints – that is a real education. I entered college in the late 1960’s unfocused and without a purpose. My high school counselor said I should go, my parents wanted me to go, my friends were going, so I went. I struggled through four years of mediocre grades and ended up with a useless, generic degree (Psychology) that I did nothing with. It took me years, and a lot of hard knocks, to get back in school and to pursue something I believed in. The American system puts so much emphasis on quick “success” and instant gratification, but it fails to define what those terms might mean. Americans see life as a goal, a competition, rather than a process. We’ve got it wrong, and the rest of the world knows it.
13
Is it now "elitist" only because it has the label, "gap year"? We used to call it, "doing what the heck I want to do with my life." Now its apparently a social media controversy? Gawd. Just go outside and enjoy life for a moment or two away from the keyboard. That's where I'll be, and we can have a talk...
14
I took a semester off from grad school to backpack around southeast Asia in my twenties. It changed my life. One really striking thing: I met young people from all over the world, many European countries, Australia, Israel, Japan. But so few Americans on the backpacker trail. Why was this? Maybe because the American news media portrays foreign places (especially non-Western places) as dangerous and unappealing? I felt ashamed of being an American when I went abroad.
3
My military unit has plenty of smart, hard working Americans in their 20s who either quit college after a couple years or plan to attend later on the generous Post 9/11 GI Bill. Call it a gap period if you like, but the decision of these young people to serve some higher purpose -- any higher purpose -- while they figure out their long-term life goals benefits everyone involved.
8
Israel has mandatory national service fro all citizens. How different our country would be if we adopted some form of required national service. We might have a president who had actually done something for the country, instead of only for himself. My military experience gave me a much different perspective about many things, but mainly the value of life itself. Good luck to you and your friends. Come out the other side!
7
Thank you for mentioning this because it allows me to point out that Israeli kids, male and female, almost all take a gap year to work and go traveling abroad either after HS or after completing military service.
Go trekking anywhere and you will be sure to tun into a few of them.
Only a small number of them have wealthy parents but then they do not have the extortionate college fees we do here.
Go trekking anywhere and you will be sure to tun into a few of them.
Only a small number of them have wealthy parents but then they do not have the extortionate college fees we do here.
4
Gap years? Really? How about taking a year off and helping at a refugee camp in Syria? Join the red Cross and work on local disasters. Volunteer at an inner city school and teach kids to read. Otherwise, you're a drop out on vacation...screwing around.
6
This is the perfect American comment: you manage to both virtue signal, and to reflect the American value that a person must be working/scheduled for every moment of one's life--if one dares take a moment to oneself, they are being lazy and useless. There ACTUALLY are other things worth doing in life other than obsessively working, you know, even if that work manages to signal our moral virtue.
10
Completely agree with you Jane. I wonder how many self righteous commenters here volunteered or joined the military themselves or had their kids do this.
I enjoyed reading Kyles well written essay. My son also had parents able to finance his education but nevertheless did all kinds of non glamorous jobs at school and throughout college and those gave him a different perspective on life.
But what is life if we can't have fun?
Scolds like this are why we have Trump. A lot of people out there are sick of being lectured to by smug, killjoy, politically correct uber liberals.
Way to go, Kyle.
I enjoyed reading Kyles well written essay. My son also had parents able to finance his education but nevertheless did all kinds of non glamorous jobs at school and throughout college and those gave him a different perspective on life.
But what is life if we can't have fun?
Scolds like this are why we have Trump. A lot of people out there are sick of being lectured to by smug, killjoy, politically correct uber liberals.
Way to go, Kyle.
3
Heck, I AM one of the uber liberals, but for gosh sake's, much of this criticism is ridiculous. So what if he's privileged? He sounds like he thoughtfully decided he didn't want to waste his parents' money spinning his wheels (even though he could have gotten away with that), and then went out, worked hard and figured out who he was and what he wanted out of life. His parents clearly did a pretty good job raising him, and he clearly did a good job raising himself the rest of the way. I want my privileged people to be like this!
1
Thanks for sharing Kyle! I particularly enjoy the middle part of the essay that substantiated the loud cry to break off the dependence from parents (' well- meaning help). The most invaluable part of the gap year for Kyle, and many, seemingly is to make one a better PERSON, not just for a better education or student or son. Coming from my conservative, highly disciplined and structured Asian education background, I would outright turn down the slightest idea of a gap year. But after I have met many from Europe or here in America, who had take the time off to either do service, or even just struggle, experience the unexpected in life, I totally agree that if you keep your end goal in focus, such as returning to school and/ or finish up your education, the gap year will be one of the best thing one can do for himself. Kudos also to being able to see the roles reversed living in a totally strange and foreign country. Lessons of humility, humanity and wish all policy makers should have experienced.
3
I enjoyed this essay. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Pay no mind to the negativity, haters gonna hate...... it's their issue.
Pay no mind to the negativity, haters gonna hate...... it's their issue.
7
Bitten by a monkey? What a tough year. Thoughtful as this piece is in places, the young man might have considered doing something useful for his country or for other people with the strength and resilience of his youth. And he might have actually learned something and reached outside his me-centered universe.
11
Sure, there are other versions of what he could've done. Most importantly, he earned his own money and make his own plans and got sense of what it is to live by your own means. Those skills are important and will make him a better citizen on the long run.
12
He did do something useful for his country. He found his path to adulthood and established himself as a productive student, employed member of society, and global citizen. Don't we need more people doing that?
16
The time you spent writing your sarcastic comment could have been used comforting a homeless person.
11
Although this will date me, I am moved to tell you that when I graduated high school, my "gap year" was actually "gap years." You see, the draft was hanging and an inconvenient thing called Vietnam waited for my young and enquiring mind and body, mostly my body.
The draft is no longer, so the writer of this article is safe from that. As a result, he doesn't have the opportunity to learn to think about something and someone outside of himself.
You, the tax-payer, paid for my university experience. Thank you.
The draft is no longer, so the writer of this article is safe from that. As a result, he doesn't have the opportunity to learn to think about something and someone outside of himself.
You, the tax-payer, paid for my university experience. Thank you.
5
I am more surprised by the negative feedback to one persons life experience than anything in this article. It seems to me that Kyle took a real leap and judging from the responses here any kid who is having feelings like Kyle did won't have the comfort to take that leap if they need it. I think it is a shame for kids that have no idea what they want to do pushed to just follow the herd so that society can feel safe.
As a parent I know how scary it is to let a kid find his/her way. Fear starts from the moment they are born and it never ends. The few times I have been able to let go and let my son have experiences I have been nothing but amazed at how he has grown.
As a parent I know how scary it is to let a kid find his/her way. Fear starts from the moment they are born and it never ends. The few times I have been able to let go and let my son have experiences I have been nothing but amazed at how he has grown.
12
Remember the Curb Your Enthusiasm where two "survivors" face off? A concentration camp victim (now hero) vs. a 20-something who made it through the TV show Survivor? " I didn't even have sunscreen! I got sunburned!"
There are so many stories of gap years fueled by need to make money for tuition; tragedy strikes and new responsibilities dictate.
Thanks for sharing the nice sophomore Creative Writing paper. Hang ten and make the world a better place!
There are so many stories of gap years fueled by need to make money for tuition; tragedy strikes and new responsibilities dictate.
Thanks for sharing the nice sophomore Creative Writing paper. Hang ten and make the world a better place!
6
G, Thank you! for so humorously pointing out the fatal flaw in the "proof" he provides for his pro-gap year argument. To me, the critical component of what defines hardship is lack of *choice*. His citation of monkey bites and surfing accidents as proofs of hardship is laughable at best and insensitive at worst (when you consider true sufferers like the concentration camp survivors you mentioned). At any point during this year of self-imposed asceticism he could have decided he'd had enough and mommy and daddy would have eagerly welcomed him home. Call it privilege, call it luck...whatever you call it, you absolutely need it to be able to do this. It's disingenuous to say that taking the gap year is within the capabilities of all and anyone.
4
Having done a good amount of traveling and run into plenty of kids from around the world taking gap years, I can only say that my greatest regret was not doing the same when I was younger. It may have helped me take college more seriously (or not, who knows?) but to have those experiences creates the memories of a lifetime. A lifetime well lived.
6
In a strange way this illustrates why College is so important. The ages 18-20 are the wild lost years of the soul, nobody knows what they want to be or want to do, just the thought of growing up is terrifying, a person, in the wild years can easily get lost and go in a dangerous direction, College becomes the caretaker, giving structure to those who need almost constant guidance, at a time when the voices of parents becomes grating. Even if you are taking the wrong courses, even if it doesn't seem it works out, it's a mental con game, it give you a purpose and a reason to get up early. A reason to move about the day with the belief you are accomplishing something, keeping you out of ruts .In truth you are in protective embryo. You meet others of your ilk and connect with like minded individuals, the hive mentality leads to close friendships. In time the Brain evolves, the teenager matures and becomes a young adult, the wild, dangerous years have passed, and the structure of college has kept the human safe. Now properly attenuated, the older/wiser self can set a path of achievement and follow through.
4
Growing up and going to college in the 70s there were no gap years. There were though summers abroad or semesters at foreign universities. All of these were encouraged as a part of a "worthwhile education." Getting away from home (other than in a dormitory) was regarded as integral to the process of maturing.
Another real difference seems to be that from the time I was 15, I was encouraged to work--half of the money I was permitted to keep, saving toward a car or spending on myself. The other half went to future tuition. Every summer I was expected to have a fulltime job. Some years I was a dishwasher, others an office go-fer. All other times, parttime work was expected--being a waiter was my most common occupation.
I'm very pleased the author found a different way to realize the value of an education and independence, but I wonder if he'd been encouraged to work and participate in saving for his education would his parents have squandered that 50 grand first year? Would he have not understood its value in the first place?
Another real difference seems to be that from the time I was 15, I was encouraged to work--half of the money I was permitted to keep, saving toward a car or spending on myself. The other half went to future tuition. Every summer I was expected to have a fulltime job. Some years I was a dishwasher, others an office go-fer. All other times, parttime work was expected--being a waiter was my most common occupation.
I'm very pleased the author found a different way to realize the value of an education and independence, but I wonder if he'd been encouraged to work and participate in saving for his education would his parents have squandered that 50 grand first year? Would he have not understood its value in the first place?
4
BOOHOO. Students like I was took a "gap" year to work and make tuition money. Why does the NYT spend ink on this type of spoiled brat article?
10
The experience described here is not unusual but is a reflection of the Times' unusually large appetite for memoir pieces by self-absorbed young adults.
10
What's wrong with this picture? I'm a product of the 60s and we boys had no off year. Many of us had to face the county draft board. Most of us were of humble beginnings whose dads had fought in Europe and Asia.
I found my path by working harvesting crops, cleaning hospital floors and washing laundry, to go to a nearby prep school.
My journey allowed me to work my way through the school and carry 30 units each year and finish in four years. Yeah it was daunting, I lost high school and college friends along the way. I carry that with me, I'm sure there are those my age who still consider themselves fortunate.
Take a year off? Unheard of!
I found my path by working harvesting crops, cleaning hospital floors and washing laundry, to go to a nearby prep school.
My journey allowed me to work my way through the school and carry 30 units each year and finish in four years. Yeah it was daunting, I lost high school and college friends along the way. I carry that with me, I'm sure there are those my age who still consider themselves fortunate.
Take a year off? Unheard of!
2
I took a gap three years.
I'd been a good student in high school, but was also playing in a band and had an itch to take myself and my instruments on the road to see if I could make it. I was a freshman at Rutgers, quit, moved into a house with the guys in the band, began playing seedy roadhouses in New Jersey and Pennsylvania at night, pumping diesel at a truck stop days to supplement my meager musical income. I learned more about life and business in those three years than any school could have taught me. After the three years were up I started my first "career" position as a circulation manager for the Newark Star Ledger and started Rutgers at night. The Ledger was a difficult job to get right, yet the skills I learned helped me as much as life on the road. My high school friends were all in grad school, getting married, or doing nothing, but I had my own track to follow.
I'm 65 now and wouldn't give back a minute of those years many would consider lost. I ended up starting a company, with the help of everything I'd done in life, which is now in the top 50 revenue companies in Vermont.
Take the gap years, do something your parents would object to, live the experience. You might regret those few years you fell off the rails, but probably not.
I'd been a good student in high school, but was also playing in a band and had an itch to take myself and my instruments on the road to see if I could make it. I was a freshman at Rutgers, quit, moved into a house with the guys in the band, began playing seedy roadhouses in New Jersey and Pennsylvania at night, pumping diesel at a truck stop days to supplement my meager musical income. I learned more about life and business in those three years than any school could have taught me. After the three years were up I started my first "career" position as a circulation manager for the Newark Star Ledger and started Rutgers at night. The Ledger was a difficult job to get right, yet the skills I learned helped me as much as life on the road. My high school friends were all in grad school, getting married, or doing nothing, but I had my own track to follow.
I'm 65 now and wouldn't give back a minute of those years many would consider lost. I ended up starting a company, with the help of everything I'd done in life, which is now in the top 50 revenue companies in Vermont.
Take the gap years, do something your parents would object to, live the experience. You might regret those few years you fell off the rails, but probably not.
10
I would ask: "at what point in time is it reasonable to be exposed to the world and experience to understand the mechanisms of this planet?"
What are these institutions providing in the first place?
Once you graduate do you not become a contributor to the advancement of civilization as we know it? Maybe it's the profit motivation that would influence an institution, here in the States, to deny that an out of College/University experience would benefit in maturity or a more focused path ahead.
What are these institutions providing in the first place?
Once you graduate do you not become a contributor to the advancement of civilization as we know it? Maybe it's the profit motivation that would influence an institution, here in the States, to deny that an out of College/University experience would benefit in maturity or a more focused path ahead.
I thought gap years occurred between high school graduation & starting college, not between freshman & sophomore years.
and this kid needed to travel the world to understand that college is a privilege, not a birthright, especially when his folks are footing the entire bill so he can graduate debt-free?
puh-leeze
and this kid needed to travel the world to understand that college is a privilege, not a birthright, especially when his folks are footing the entire bill so he can graduate debt-free?
puh-leeze
3
Evidence does indeed exist to suggest that when students aren't paying any of the bill themselves, it's hard for them to understand the value of the thing, yes. That's not unusual.
3
I also went to USD. I've been thinking about this article and comments in relation to what I know about the school and the general socioeconomic status of the student body. Most USD students are the uber wealthy and come from all over the world. Brand new Porsches, private planes, beachfront homes, and limitless bank accounts are not uncommon. That being said, I commend you for taking a self-funded gap year and opening your eyes to the world outside the USD bubble. Certainly knowing you could go to your parents if your travels went arry gave you an advantage over students without this financial safety net. But it takes a lot of courage to leave what you know, and what is comfortable, to find your passion. I hope more people old or young, rich or not choose to take a gap year. As humans we'd definitely have a better appreciation of each other.
4
The take away from this interesting article is that "learning to be independent is to find your own freedom in life". We work hard, we love our children, we give them TOO MUCH, they lose something in life.
Ethan, was smart and brave to make the Gap Break rather than have a life of regrets.
Ethan, was smart and brave to make the Gap Break rather than have a life of regrets.
6
Correction: Kyle (not Ethan)
The University of San Diego costs $50 thou a year.
No disrespect to the university but why does it cost so much? I have never heard of it. If this is what the U of San Diego costs, how much is UCLA, USC and Berkeley? Yes, some of them may be public vs. private but....$50,000 a year is too much.
This is madness.
As for a gap year, I totally agree. I left college after a few years because I couldn't see the point. My aunt had already jettisoned the idea of the major that I wanted, which was journalism. I went to work, eventually went back part time as I nurtured my corporate career. After settling down with my future wife and moving out of NYC, I found a great college where I took classes mostly at night and graduated in my 40s. My Master's was achieved shortly thereafter and currently have a great job with retirement in the near future.
If you would have told me at 18 that this would be my life, I wouldn't have believed it. But it happened. I do regret wasting so many years in the corporate world but I didn't have advisors to help me try to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up - I'm now in education.
That's the key, especially for people from low-income households of color, like I was. This guy's parents were able to say "gap year," which didn't exist in 1981, as far as I knew. My parents never went to college. Well, I'm happy now at nearly 55 but so many years were wasted.
No disrespect to the university but why does it cost so much? I have never heard of it. If this is what the U of San Diego costs, how much is UCLA, USC and Berkeley? Yes, some of them may be public vs. private but....$50,000 a year is too much.
This is madness.
As for a gap year, I totally agree. I left college after a few years because I couldn't see the point. My aunt had already jettisoned the idea of the major that I wanted, which was journalism. I went to work, eventually went back part time as I nurtured my corporate career. After settling down with my future wife and moving out of NYC, I found a great college where I took classes mostly at night and graduated in my 40s. My Master's was achieved shortly thereafter and currently have a great job with retirement in the near future.
If you would have told me at 18 that this would be my life, I wouldn't have believed it. But it happened. I do regret wasting so many years in the corporate world but I didn't have advisors to help me try to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up - I'm now in education.
That's the key, especially for people from low-income households of color, like I was. This guy's parents were able to say "gap year," which didn't exist in 1981, as far as I knew. My parents never went to college. Well, I'm happy now at nearly 55 but so many years were wasted.
12
It is generally rated a top-100 college - it close to the beach - it has a good acceptance rate north of 50% - so it is a pretty safe bet for kids with rich parents who may not be super motivated nor super intelligent who don't think twice about shelling out $50K/year for an OK school.
If you're smart and motivated in Cali - there are many better and cheaper options.
If you're smart and motivated in Cali - there are many better and cheaper options.
3
What an attitude to one's parents? This is just unbelievable - a kid's well wishers are the parents. As a teacher I find this disrespect for parents move into the class room and a lack of respect for education in general. No wonder America ranks so low in education when compared to the rest of the world.
12
A good article. I was just taken aback by Ethan Knight's sneering comment saying that since you can get Pell funding for beauty school, you should be able to get it for a gap year.
What's wrong with beauty schools? Read up on them and you'll see a solid curriculum that leads to state licensing. In many ways they are colleges for kids too poor and too academically deficient ever to dream of a standard college education.
What's wrong with beauty schools? Read up on them and you'll see a solid curriculum that leads to state licensing. In many ways they are colleges for kids too poor and too academically deficient ever to dream of a standard college education.
99
Yes, I found that comment really bad too.
7
Exactly. There is zero comparison between a gap year and attending trade school, including "beauty school." A gap year, like many things in life, can be valuable and contain learning experiences, but it is not a structured program leading to a credential. Also, I believe a key component to the gap year Kyle experienced was his need to pay for the experience on his own, as he went along. If his parents or a Pell grant were paying, would he have experienced the same personal growth? Or would it have been a yearlong vacation leaving him exactly where he started?
4
Mary,
Exactly! I think Kyle learned nothing about folks of other classes and experiences. This also struck me and frankly put me off from the entire piece.
Exactly! I think Kyle learned nothing about folks of other classes and experiences. This also struck me and frankly put me off from the entire piece.
3
Mr DeNuccio,
As I started to read this piece, I was concerned, as I'm sure your parents were at the start of your gap year, that this was not going to turn out well. A picture of you in Bali and mention of tuition at University of San Diego are not good indicators. But, like a lot of other commenters here, I'm impressed at how you came out of your gap year, and particularly your conclusion that your education "ceased to be an act of dependance," which to me is a critical step for any young person. In retrospect, I wish I had taken a gap year during my own college years, and your article reinforces this. Well done, and I'm going to ask my kids to read this as well.
As I started to read this piece, I was concerned, as I'm sure your parents were at the start of your gap year, that this was not going to turn out well. A picture of you in Bali and mention of tuition at University of San Diego are not good indicators. But, like a lot of other commenters here, I'm impressed at how you came out of your gap year, and particularly your conclusion that your education "ceased to be an act of dependance," which to me is a critical step for any young person. In retrospect, I wish I had taken a gap year during my own college years, and your article reinforces this. Well done, and I'm going to ask my kids to read this as well.
26
Applaud the authors willingness to share his story, including the admission of blind spots induced by privilege. The reader comments are interesting and as a 'blue collar' kid myself, I can understand those who sniff "rich kid problem". However as one who eventually earned a doctoral degree and is now a university professor, I agree that learning independence and owning ones life is immensely valuable. The story and the nostalgic reader comments fail to acknowledge that these sorts of growth experiences are off-limits to 50% of the population. Because of global male privilege, any young woman who tried to have an adventure where she was vulnerable due to lack of language fluency, money or a protective chaperone would most likely have a more harrowing story to tell, if she returned at all.
85
Nonsense. Of course women can travel solo successfully. Just take a look at the gap year forum on lonelyplanet.com, or the collection of solo travel trip reports on fodors.com's Travel Tips forum. Or put "travel blog solo female" into a search engine.
Do solo women have to be more careful about dress and behavior in certain countries? Yes - but certainly not everywhere. Do solo women have to be more careful about gettting drunk and wandering around at night? Yes, absolutely. But many places are safer than American cities.
Do solo women have to be more careful about dress and behavior in certain countries? Yes - but certainly not everywhere. Do solo women have to be more careful about gettting drunk and wandering around at night? Yes, absolutely. But many places are safer than American cities.
5
I've been to Haiti, Cuba, various countries in Central America, Peru, Libya, central Asia, Oceania, etc. Let's not just assume women can't make it.
3
Young women certainly can have solo adventures of this type! However since it is daunting to start out, I've seen many young people begin an unstructured gap year of this type partnered with another like-minded individual. They don't always stay together the whole time, but starting travel with a friend can feel much safer, and can be lots of fun, too.
3
Gap years are not so much "inherently elitist" as they are nobody else's business. At least apart from family and friends.
And that includes Malia Obama. Particularly since she and her family are now private citizens.
And that includes Malia Obama. Particularly since she and her family are now private citizens.
28
My gap year turned into a career. I enlisted in the army out of necessity and in thrall to tradition; I stayed for twenty years before becoming a retired infantry officer.
13
A couple of years in the military or Peace Corps/Vista or or other non profit organization would be a lot better way than bumming around the world to " find" one's self
13
A different experience "would be a lot better"? How do you know? DeNuccio's gap-year outcome certainly seems positive by any measure.
5
In a way, being a rich kid and able to afford a gap year is probably just what they need.
Think about it...Kyle learned how to live life like he never would have pursuing a degree straight out of college. Washing dishes, menial labor... all valuable lessons for a rich kid
However... the idea that pell grants should be available for gaps years is absurd and totally misses the point of going out and experiencing life. Haha... I had to chuckle at how ridiculous that is.
Think about it...Kyle learned how to live life like he never would have pursuing a degree straight out of college. Washing dishes, menial labor... all valuable lessons for a rich kid
However... the idea that pell grants should be available for gaps years is absurd and totally misses the point of going out and experiencing life. Haha... I had to chuckle at how ridiculous that is.
25
I wish that poor students could get extra Pell for, say, a year in Japan to learn Japanese like my son did, or an extra semester at MIT to complete a double major like my daughter did. It was a great investment, totally worth it to us parents and to the US in which my kids are citizens, and it would be worth it for other smart, hardworking kids, even those who don't happen to be rich.
1
When I was playing chef (actually sous chef at this then-moment), I had the pleasure of working with a bona fide Johnson & Wales culinary grad, a 2-year product of intense culinary education. Result? Busy nights - guy freezes up; again, again, again -- I'm a Chef! (says he) -- fired him. Knew all, but could not produce work.
Education w/o experience is not worthless, but for those who employ, train new employees, etc., they know that regardless of the education, skills, etc., a new employee must be trained. His/her education is, more often than most would admit, icing. Not irrelevant per se, but most of the education needed for a job is learned ON the job. (Yes, a sweeping generalization, but true in many instances).
Point? After HS graduation (or GED), the best thing a young person could do (or have forced upon him/her, perhaps) is to go get a job for a least a year, perhaps two. Ideally, Mom/Dad will not pay rent, bills, provide an "allowance."
Doing what?
National/state/local work programs. Minimum wage employment (very important lesson there: see how "easy" it is to survive on min. wage) in whatever jobs are needed, obviously low training-hurdle jobs, nothing critical, etc. But cleaning parks and roadways 8 hrs a day, paycheck weekly, at 18? I would have done it. I worked in a bookstore (stocking mostly) at that age, trying to keep afloat (and not flunk out; didn't work).
What DeNuccio did, he did right. Good for him. Good for his parents too. Many should pay heed.
Education w/o experience is not worthless, but for those who employ, train new employees, etc., they know that regardless of the education, skills, etc., a new employee must be trained. His/her education is, more often than most would admit, icing. Not irrelevant per se, but most of the education needed for a job is learned ON the job. (Yes, a sweeping generalization, but true in many instances).
Point? After HS graduation (or GED), the best thing a young person could do (or have forced upon him/her, perhaps) is to go get a job for a least a year, perhaps two. Ideally, Mom/Dad will not pay rent, bills, provide an "allowance."
Doing what?
National/state/local work programs. Minimum wage employment (very important lesson there: see how "easy" it is to survive on min. wage) in whatever jobs are needed, obviously low training-hurdle jobs, nothing critical, etc. But cleaning parks and roadways 8 hrs a day, paycheck weekly, at 18? I would have done it. I worked in a bookstore (stocking mostly) at that age, trying to keep afloat (and not flunk out; didn't work).
What DeNuccio did, he did right. Good for him. Good for his parents too. Many should pay heed.
26
Wow, people in the comments are mean-spirited! This is where Liberalism is in 2017? Attacking a young person based on his financial/social status, gender and assumed racial background, for the sin of choosing to take a year to travel the World before he settles in for a lifetime uninterrupted labor? And I thought Conservatives were a "no fun" kinda crowd...
101
Liberals enjoy living in expensive cities then bemoaning (race) (sex) privilege. There is a very ugly under belly of envy and intellectual classism which pushes people away.
If you want to see what happens when theyre victims of their own policies, check out the NYT comments on poor African American students being pushed into their school systems via section 8 housing. That is what happens when armchair ivory tower ideas meet the real world. Suddenly everyone has worked so hard to make sure their kids are ahead, pay their taxes, get government out of education, etc.
If you want to see what happens when theyre victims of their own policies, check out the NYT comments on poor African American students being pushed into their school systems via section 8 housing. That is what happens when armchair ivory tower ideas meet the real world. Suddenly everyone has worked so hard to make sure their kids are ahead, pay their taxes, get government out of education, etc.
I had a 'gap year' over a half century ago, actually it was a gap half decade and much of it was spent in the Army. By the time I returned to college as a second semester freshman I was done "discovering life" - I had my fill of rough edges and tough times up to here - and wanted to get on with making a living.
College is different as a 24-year-old working full time. It's no longer a country club interrupted by classes but strictly a means with few social activities and lots of library time. It's what you find when you return as an adult.
College is different as a 24-year-old working full time. It's no longer a country club interrupted by classes but strictly a means with few social activities and lots of library time. It's what you find when you return as an adult.
14
Trust me, college is different for lots of kids in this country. My own kids, for example. They all had jobs in the summers and college was serious business for them. Most of their friends too. My husband and I were both first generation college students that had to support ourselves. We wanted our kids to have better experiences then we did, so we saved liked heck for their college costs. They knew this and appreciated it. The people that have gap years are in another couple of levels of income above us. There's nothing wrong with this, but it's gets so tiring reading about it as if it's 'normal'.
5
I agree with Ms. Siesky: a Gap Year is a positive experience and contrary to many preconceived notions--available to most students, rich or poor. It doesn't take a lot of money to travel, if you're willing to travel like a local. The first hurdle is overcoming your own preconceptions.
It would behoove every American kid to get a passport, leave the States and see how amazing and fascinating this world is. (Lots of young Aussies, Brits, French, Germans, Israelis, et.al. are already out there traveling the world for months at at time.) For once a young person leaves this country, they'll understand quickly that the world is not so "scary" and "dangerous," but rather full of people just like ourselves. Young people who have traveled return to the States wiser and more compassionate citizens. Universities should mandate travel.
It would behoove every American kid to get a passport, leave the States and see how amazing and fascinating this world is. (Lots of young Aussies, Brits, French, Germans, Israelis, et.al. are already out there traveling the world for months at at time.) For once a young person leaves this country, they'll understand quickly that the world is not so "scary" and "dangerous," but rather full of people just like ourselves. Young people who have traveled return to the States wiser and more compassionate citizens. Universities should mandate travel.
32
Why is that NYT commenters, normally so thoughtful and empathetic to others, turn into mocking, contemptuous know-it-alls when people born into privilege dare tell a story about their life and experiences?
166
Because in the "good old days," most of the 1% had the good manners, not to "humble-brag" about not working very hard. Like Mitt Romney and his basement apartment. As opposed to taking separate, taxpayer-funded Boeing 747s, during a long "Great Recession."
3
Geez. I was more independent of my parents as a 12 year old than college kids are today. To be perfectly honest, I was more independent as an 8 year old than these kids. I had a job at 14, bought and washed my own clothes, and found my way to high school on the other side of the city with three friends every day, etc.
To be fair, though I did pay for the amount of college that I attended by myself, I agree that college tuition today is absurd.
To be fair, though I did pay for the amount of college that I attended by myself, I agree that college tuition today is absurd.
29
I recognize the benefits of a gap year. I wish colleges did more to inform students about the process and timeline. A little planning and forethought would probably make the time much more valuable for students who opt to leave college. Line up an internship or whatever. Funding would help too. The social stigma is also an enormous deterrent for many young adults. You're a 1% exception in an already small subset of the population. People will give you strange looks.
That said, there are gap years and then there are gap years. Parents and colleges are right to worry about students dropping out permanently. I've watched many a student disappear chasing powder ski days never to return. You also have students that gap year and end up doing absolutely nothing with their time. Remember, explaining gaps in your education can have very real consequences for your potential career and/or education later. You better have a good answer when someone asks.
This is why people are reluctant to use any federal funding to support gap years. You're giving a young adult $5,000 of tax payer money with absolutely no oversight on how they might spend the funds. Not to mention, most students need their Pell Grant to pay for... you guessed it... education. That's why, despite the author's acknowledgement, the entire anecdote still smacks of elitism. Rich boy goes slumming in exotic places; film at 11:00.
For the record, maggot-infested garbage bins was how I finished school.
That said, there are gap years and then there are gap years. Parents and colleges are right to worry about students dropping out permanently. I've watched many a student disappear chasing powder ski days never to return. You also have students that gap year and end up doing absolutely nothing with their time. Remember, explaining gaps in your education can have very real consequences for your potential career and/or education later. You better have a good answer when someone asks.
This is why people are reluctant to use any federal funding to support gap years. You're giving a young adult $5,000 of tax payer money with absolutely no oversight on how they might spend the funds. Not to mention, most students need their Pell Grant to pay for... you guessed it... education. That's why, despite the author's acknowledgement, the entire anecdote still smacks of elitism. Rich boy goes slumming in exotic places; film at 11:00.
For the record, maggot-infested garbage bins was how I finished school.
8
Many colleges admit more students than they can house. That happened to our son two years ago. He was a January admit and a gap semester was forced on him. What was he going to do when all of his peers went off to their freshman years? He elected, and fortunately we could afford, to go on a NOLS semester to Patagonia -- three months off the grid ocean kayaking and glacier mountaineering. We had hiked, biked and cross-country skied throughout his youth but he never spent a night in a tent. We dropped our 18 year old off at JFK in September and except for a few texts before he entered the wilderness and for the three months of carrying his own food and water, no toilet paper, hiking in the snow and kayaking in the rain, we got a text and a picture just before Christmas "What did I miss?". At the beginning of this trip his far more experienced and older trip mates asked him if he "wasn't over his head" and then ended up valedictorian of the trip. His stories were fantastic and his pictures were breathtaking. He struggled with the concept of school in January so instead he went, on his own dime using money from summer jobs, to "volunteer" in Ghana building an HIV clinic. Limited water and food, third world all the way, he retuned with malaria and a much deeper appreciation for the lives others lived and for the majesty of nature and the ability to conquer life's challenges.
58
Parents need to trust their children more.
As a volunteer in a well-known international student exchange organization, I frequently see students who want to explore the world by living abroad for either a gap year or a year during high school. Their parents, however, are just as often existentially frightened that their children will somehow fail if they step off the regimented day-by-day program which they instituted from the time they were born.
One result is that our organization, which has a very large scholarship fund, simply can almost never find a students to sponsor. It really is mind-boggling.
Parents, you need to let go. Teenage students with a track record of success achieved through hard work, discipline, inquisitiveness, and intelligence are going to be very successful in life, even if they take a short detour from your plans.
You may or may not choose to support this detour financially, but if your child wants it badly enough, they’ll find a way to make it happen one way or another. And they will mature immensely in the process.
As a volunteer in a well-known international student exchange organization, I frequently see students who want to explore the world by living abroad for either a gap year or a year during high school. Their parents, however, are just as often existentially frightened that their children will somehow fail if they step off the regimented day-by-day program which they instituted from the time they were born.
One result is that our organization, which has a very large scholarship fund, simply can almost never find a students to sponsor. It really is mind-boggling.
Parents, you need to let go. Teenage students with a track record of success achieved through hard work, discipline, inquisitiveness, and intelligence are going to be very successful in life, even if they take a short detour from your plans.
You may or may not choose to support this detour financially, but if your child wants it badly enough, they’ll find a way to make it happen one way or another. And they will mature immensely in the process.
28
Trust but verify. Save yourself considerable grief.
4
Wow why would anyone NOT do this and who cares what you old codgers out there did when you were young? My gap year lasted, and continues to last, over 42 years, one of these days I'll figure it out. In the meantime, if anyone can do this they should, life is short, you won't get the chance to take off and be responsible for only yourself again, take it, have fun, enjoy, learn, work or whatever. Bravo Kyle.
24
You go David!
4
Good for you Kyle! I took time off before college (I thought) to find myself and I wanted to travel. Got a job with the airlines, met other people like me who wanted to travel the world and we did, cheaply.
During this time, I taught myself programming and left the airlines as there is only so many times you can go to Mykonos and dance till the sun comes and I wanted to take it easy.
I did not end up going to college as I didn't want to get student loans and didn't see the college lifestyle (the partying) as something I needed. I've been fortunate that I have been able to get well paying jobs in the software industry and I'm happy.
Sometimes colleagues talk about their college experience and for a moment, I wonder if I missed out. When I talk about the Temples of Angkor Wat or sleeping under the stars in Mongolia, they're fully engaged. I caught a really bad stomach bug driving through Spain, was robbed in South Africa and spent numerous nights sleeping in airports - wasn't all fun, but it was experienced with friends I still have today and helped me become who I am today.
In the end, whether we go to college or not, we find out who we are and what we want to be!
During this time, I taught myself programming and left the airlines as there is only so many times you can go to Mykonos and dance till the sun comes and I wanted to take it easy.
I did not end up going to college as I didn't want to get student loans and didn't see the college lifestyle (the partying) as something I needed. I've been fortunate that I have been able to get well paying jobs in the software industry and I'm happy.
Sometimes colleagues talk about their college experience and for a moment, I wonder if I missed out. When I talk about the Temples of Angkor Wat or sleeping under the stars in Mongolia, they're fully engaged. I caught a really bad stomach bug driving through Spain, was robbed in South Africa and spent numerous nights sleeping in airports - wasn't all fun, but it was experienced with friends I still have today and helped me become who I am today.
In the end, whether we go to college or not, we find out who we are and what we want to be!
22
Thank you for your sharing your experience and perspective. I really enjoyed this essay! I worked two jobs before applying to college and being with hard working people with tough lives was enough for me to get very serious about my future. I went from being a bum high school student to a super hard working college student. At age 50, I still think about the my coworkers at those jobs.
20
As smart as the average NY Times reader is, the presence of affluence seems to prevent many from reading objectively. Did Kyle spend his gap year in a way only the affluent could? Of course, but that doesn't change the actual point of the article: that many of us could have, or would have benefitted from some perspective before we embarked upon one of the most expensive undertakings of our lives.
I grew up in a blue collar upstate NY town with a father who worked in a factory, and a mom who was an administrative assistant (she was called a secretary back then). Despite being laid off the year before I went to college, my father was able to secure the loans and the money required to send me to an "affordable" SUNY, without me having to contribute a dime. To my great shame, I wasted my college years; unfocussed, entitled, and barely passing. I believe a gap year would have changed this. While a gap year for me would have looked very different from Kyle's gap year, (none of my many minimum wage jobs would have required an airline ticket to an exotic place) like Kyle, it would have awakened me to the privilege of a college education, and to the sacrifice my parents were making so that I could have one. Shouldn't we all be pretty certain that we want to go to college, before we pay upwards of 100k to do so?
I grew up in a blue collar upstate NY town with a father who worked in a factory, and a mom who was an administrative assistant (she was called a secretary back then). Despite being laid off the year before I went to college, my father was able to secure the loans and the money required to send me to an "affordable" SUNY, without me having to contribute a dime. To my great shame, I wasted my college years; unfocussed, entitled, and barely passing. I believe a gap year would have changed this. While a gap year for me would have looked very different from Kyle's gap year, (none of my many minimum wage jobs would have required an airline ticket to an exotic place) like Kyle, it would have awakened me to the privilege of a college education, and to the sacrifice my parents were making so that I could have one. Shouldn't we all be pretty certain that we want to go to college, before we pay upwards of 100k to do so?
91
Where I come from, most didn't attend college, or they did half heartedly at the local community college. It was not the norm for blue collar families to attend college. The fear - a very valid one - of a "gap" year (which was really working to save for college) was that if you didn't start, you never would. Once you start working, it gets harder to go back to school. Unless of course that is the expectation.
And that's the difference between the affluent and the less-affluent. The affluent call it a "gap year" because the intention is to go back and the student has the support - financial and otherwise - to do so. For many young adults from poor families, higher education is out of the realm of expectation, and therefore they don't have the support to go back. So a "gap" year becomes a "working to survive" year and then another, and another, and college never happens.
And that's the difference between the affluent and the less-affluent. The affluent call it a "gap year" because the intention is to go back and the student has the support - financial and otherwise - to do so. For many young adults from poor families, higher education is out of the realm of expectation, and therefore they don't have the support to go back. So a "gap" year becomes a "working to survive" year and then another, and another, and college never happens.
3
Guess what Kyle? Your "gap year" is what millions of Americans call "work life". Except that they would not be able to fork out the travel cost to go to exotic locations, and they would have to support parents or children on those wages.
12
A gap year is probably a good idea for a lot of high school graduates who are moving on to college without a real goal, burned out by high school experiences, or who have not held any responsibility for this direction. It could be beneficial to those who simply aren't mature enough.
Public funds to pay for a gap year? We struggle to fund public schools - and subsidize college education for those who have limited funds. No taxpayer funding for internships either - why should we subsidize businesses? Currently a lot of funding earmarked for college education is being ripped off by private 'colleges' with no investment in the students' future - reform that before setting up a lure for more grift.
But It should become standard practice that college admissions and awarding of grants and scholarships be adjusted so that they aren't lost forever because of a time-specific delay in starting college.
The success of the writer's gap year was definitely in good part due to his father's refusal to fund any part of it -that would have made it an endless vacation. That the university would reinstate Mr DeNuccio at his convenience seems - well, more related to the fact that he -or his father I assume - picked up the full freight for enrollment. If he had been cobbling together grants and loans, and screwing up, they might have suggested trying again at a local community college, on his own dime - while working. That would have been a revealing experience, but no fun at all
Public funds to pay for a gap year? We struggle to fund public schools - and subsidize college education for those who have limited funds. No taxpayer funding for internships either - why should we subsidize businesses? Currently a lot of funding earmarked for college education is being ripped off by private 'colleges' with no investment in the students' future - reform that before setting up a lure for more grift.
But It should become standard practice that college admissions and awarding of grants and scholarships be adjusted so that they aren't lost forever because of a time-specific delay in starting college.
The success of the writer's gap year was definitely in good part due to his father's refusal to fund any part of it -that would have made it an endless vacation. That the university would reinstate Mr DeNuccio at his convenience seems - well, more related to the fact that he -or his father I assume - picked up the full freight for enrollment. If he had been cobbling together grants and loans, and screwing up, they might have suggested trying again at a local community college, on his own dime - while working. That would have been a revealing experience, but no fun at all
12
Back in the 1960-70s, Beloit College (Wisconsin) had a "gap" semester built into the curriculum, after the first year was spent on campus. Students received academic credit for spending a semester off campus, working in paid internships. I spent mine at UCSF hospital, working as a patient transporter, while enjoying the sights and experience of living in San Francisco. For a girl from Texas, it was a dream come true. I watch my sons now, who went from home school straight into the work environment, then attended college while working full-time. They didn't have the luxury to take a year off until this past year; they are 36 years old. One stayed home, got a dog, and became a house-husband. The other traveled the world and found a wife, on his own savings. It's obvious that we all need "gap years" over the course of our lives, to reboot our lives and check our priorities. It's not about the money, as this young man showed. You just have to step outside of culturally-induced fear and go for it.
27
Bravo to this young man and his powers of self-awareness and reflection. His honesty about how privilege interfered with his independence is refreshing. Thank you for sharing!
42
Why am I reading your words? What do you know?
7
This seems like a massive waste of time. Wait until after college to spend a few years abroad so that you can work or study in a potential future field and use the time abroad to not only experience new cultures and ways of living as an actual adult, but make contacts and get something out of it besides a cool story bro.
I spent two years abroad in grad school a couple of years ago and it was not only fascinating learning and absorbing a new culture, but I also learned new skills in my field that significantly improved my career path, and provided me with lasting friends and contacts who have been invaluable both personally and professionally. If I had taken off a year before college to find myself, I definitely would have enjoyed it but ultimately doubt it would have had such a concrete effect on my life.
I spent two years abroad in grad school a couple of years ago and it was not only fascinating learning and absorbing a new culture, but I also learned new skills in my field that significantly improved my career path, and provided me with lasting friends and contacts who have been invaluable both personally and professionally. If I had taken off a year before college to find myself, I definitely would have enjoyed it but ultimately doubt it would have had such a concrete effect on my life.
3
Gap years can have a profound effect on what someone studies and why, as well as experiencing different types of work and ways of living. Many college students have no idea why they are school, which is a massive waste of time and money.
8
Nearly every friend I have took anywhere from a semester to a couple of years off between getting to college and graduating. This was back in the '70s. Not one of us would be considered "rich & well-connected." We found menial jobs and had a ball. Some of us just travelled around the country -- often by hitchhiking -- and living off a pittance. For the life of me, I can't think of what might have changed, besides A) higher college costs (which I can't see a connection to being able to take a break) and B) the fact that our generation, by and large, were far more independent than this current generation.
16
In my 'gap' year, I took a full time job so that I could buy food to eat and pay for rent, because I had no choices. I became an adult very quickly.
35
Learning to be responsible for your destiny? Priceless.
57
Does that require a gap year? Seems like a lot of people manage to do it without the 18 year old Eat Pray Love approach.
11
When I lived in Norway in my early twenties pursuing a lost ancestry I never quite found, I supported myself working menial restaurant jobs while some of peer-age Norwegian friends earned "credits" for college admission and academic courses by working for social service agencies. Schools and government encouraged this kind of service work and males could even substitute this work for military enlistment--mandatory in Norway during the 1970's.
This way of doing things met so many needs: young people gained experiences helpful in making choices about their futures; they earned college credit and hands-on education and became better prepared for success in university or vocational schools; social service agencies employed workers from a pool of eager, hardworking and idealistic youth. Norway's "gap" year was structurally embedded into their economy and social norms and not only provided everyone with economic benefit, but also enriched young lives in ways both expected and unanticipated. My friends hosted me for a weekend in a medical facility where they lived and worked with severely disabled people. Upon returning to school in the US to complete my degree I studied psychology and linguistics before becoming an educator--course work and an occupation I had never considered prior to my two years abroad living and working among college-age students who were allowed to explore a variety of life choices while helping others.
This way of doing things met so many needs: young people gained experiences helpful in making choices about their futures; they earned college credit and hands-on education and became better prepared for success in university or vocational schools; social service agencies employed workers from a pool of eager, hardworking and idealistic youth. Norway's "gap" year was structurally embedded into their economy and social norms and not only provided everyone with economic benefit, but also enriched young lives in ways both expected and unanticipated. My friends hosted me for a weekend in a medical facility where they lived and worked with severely disabled people. Upon returning to school in the US to complete my degree I studied psychology and linguistics before becoming an educator--course work and an occupation I had never considered prior to my two years abroad living and working among college-age students who were allowed to explore a variety of life choices while helping others.
28
Rich, privileged white male gets to spend a year off on his parents' dime in warm places with beaches and then gets to write about it in the NY Times. Funny, 50 years ago, this article may have been written by that generation's privileged white male, Donald Trump.
36
I think you might have skipped a couple paragraphs there...
17
I am not sure you actually read the article? He stated that his parents did not support him at all during that year. Perhaps you might revisit it.
59
Um, no, he didn't spend the year "on his parents' dime." Did you read the article? While I have no doubt that his parents would have come to his rescue if he ran into serious trouble, he did spend time living in his car and then sharing an inexpensive apartment with money that he earned at some pretty low-paying jobs.
18
If parents would just back off and give their children space throughout their k-12 years, then perhaps these children won't feel the need to go away for a gap year once they reach adulthood. Want to stock shelves and scrub dishes? I'm sure you can find that in your neighborhood too. Gap year? If you do it because you want to, that's a luxury. Many students take gap year(s) because they don't have a choice.
13
Disagree. We did it 50 years ago. I'm sure others did it before us. Wasn't called a "gap" year then.
2
I wondered that too. Why not do a summer of "poverty tourism" by sending your teenager to West Virginia or Kentucky, to live in a trailer park and work at the local Dollar Store for minimum wage?
Trust me, they will grow up in a hurry. Only it won't give them "bragging rights" about their exotic travels...will it?
Trust me, they will grow up in a hurry. Only it won't give them "bragging rights" about their exotic travels...will it?
5
While a gap year is certainly a luxury, I don't think it makes him spoiled. He was doing what he thought he needed to do, coming from his background with his experiences. I wish I had taken a gap year before I went to college and traveled/worked like this young man. It might've saved me a lot of confusion later.
18
We value most what we have to work hard for. I worked my way through college without a dime from my parents and that made all the difference between me working every moment I could after classes and some of my parentally-funded classmates who partyed all year and flunked out. I am not sure that my example is replicable today given that the cost of college has risen year by year far beyond the rate of inflation and well beyond what a student can earn part time and during the summer. But, student motivation often improves when they must contribute to at least some of their college expenses.
15
Good story of a path to maturity. Seems work was a big awakening force. (Much of his being menial labor.) Also, travel to new cultures. I wondered if he worked much before college age.
I had four gap years following a visit to a Marine Corps recruiter during midterm exams. I was motivated to go back and complete my degree by the time the sunlight shined on my freshly shaved head. Rich experience for sure.
I had four gap years following a visit to a Marine Corps recruiter during midterm exams. I was motivated to go back and complete my degree by the time the sunlight shined on my freshly shaved head. Rich experience for sure.
20
Not that I am one to have regrets, but I often wonder how things would have turned out for me had I done a few years active service rather than the 9 yrs (sigh) of reserves. Was peacetime so no obvious negative (and no complete nut in the Whitehouse, although one never knows).
But while many would balk, I've thought for years that we should have some sort of mandatory service for all 18-20 year olds, whether it is some branch of the military, work programs, or perhaps even paid apprenticeships in areas of interest. Obviously, care to make sure these are not just "slave-labor" jobs, but then again, in my mind, one of the greatest experiences that all citizens should have is to work and survive on a minimum wage job. Too many do it today, and too many of us either have no clue what it is like or perhaps forget. Congress, of course, is stocked with those who simply Do Not Know; they're wealthy and entitled and largely, do not exist in the same reality as do most Americans, but I digress.
Rather vital today, I believe some good military training might sort out some of these issues that seem to be looming larger and larger today. I just have this feeling that in basic training, dudes and dudettes are not standing about checking FaceBook all day long, complaining about the food (or at least not loudly), and popping pills devised by Big Pharma to allow parents to cope with being a parent.
Perhaps I am wrong: DI's may pat heads and 'coo coo' now? Oh, the horror...
But while many would balk, I've thought for years that we should have some sort of mandatory service for all 18-20 year olds, whether it is some branch of the military, work programs, or perhaps even paid apprenticeships in areas of interest. Obviously, care to make sure these are not just "slave-labor" jobs, but then again, in my mind, one of the greatest experiences that all citizens should have is to work and survive on a minimum wage job. Too many do it today, and too many of us either have no clue what it is like or perhaps forget. Congress, of course, is stocked with those who simply Do Not Know; they're wealthy and entitled and largely, do not exist in the same reality as do most Americans, but I digress.
Rather vital today, I believe some good military training might sort out some of these issues that seem to be looming larger and larger today. I just have this feeling that in basic training, dudes and dudettes are not standing about checking FaceBook all day long, complaining about the food (or at least not loudly), and popping pills devised by Big Pharma to allow parents to cope with being a parent.
Perhaps I am wrong: DI's may pat heads and 'coo coo' now? Oh, the horror...
2
The Gap Year should be between graduating high school and the freshman year of college, and taken by everyone. But then it would lose most of its cache and bragging rights.
3
If it was public service or military service -- something like the Peace Corps -- I'd agree with you.
But it seems what it consists of is exotic foreign vacations, on your parent's dime. In that case, it is a privilege and out of reach for most working class students.
But it seems what it consists of is exotic foreign vacations, on your parent's dime. In that case, it is a privilege and out of reach for most working class students.
3
The author didn't travel on his parents' money. And it's not out of reach financially for many of us if we only have ourselves to pay for (different if you're helping to support your family). There are cheap flights, cheap ways to travel. it's just not something most think is possible.
Mention travel to another country and it's automatically "exotic luxury" when in reality it's $10/day living.
That said, the author had the knowledge that his family would and could support him when he returned, and that he WOULD go back to school. People from impoverished backgrounds don't have *that* luxury, so a "gap year" seems out of reach.
Mention travel to another country and it's automatically "exotic luxury" when in reality it's $10/day living.
That said, the author had the knowledge that his family would and could support him when he returned, and that he WOULD go back to school. People from impoverished backgrounds don't have *that* luxury, so a "gap year" seems out of reach.
4
@CJ: you have contradicted yourself in your third paragraph. Even if his parents did not literally hand him the money for plane fare....they subsidized him in a thousand ways. They ensured he didn't have to worry about ruining his chances to finish college (because they'd pay when he decided to go back).
Was the money "his from working" -- or a decade of birthday and Christmas checks from affluent relatives? or an inheritance? It is not clear here. His trips were very costly. It's not the cost of living in Puerto Rico that kills you -- it's the plane fare and the lost opportunity costs -- the job in the US you did not take -- the tuition hikes while you were gone -- the internships you did not do.
There are no "cheap ways to travel" -- not internationally. There is plane fare and luggage surcharges, and hotels and food and special clothing and long distance phone charges and the rest. Oh and where did he stow his belongings and gear while he was gone?
You do correctly say that he ALWAYS knew his parents would take him back in when he returned, and feed and clothe him, and pay for college the next term. He did not have to worry about the unpaid rent on some apartment, or the chance that a landlord would dump all his possessions in the street!
I also wonder what he did for health insurance. Just sayin'.
Was the money "his from working" -- or a decade of birthday and Christmas checks from affluent relatives? or an inheritance? It is not clear here. His trips were very costly. It's not the cost of living in Puerto Rico that kills you -- it's the plane fare and the lost opportunity costs -- the job in the US you did not take -- the tuition hikes while you were gone -- the internships you did not do.
There are no "cheap ways to travel" -- not internationally. There is plane fare and luggage surcharges, and hotels and food and special clothing and long distance phone charges and the rest. Oh and where did he stow his belongings and gear while he was gone?
You do correctly say that he ALWAYS knew his parents would take him back in when he returned, and feed and clothe him, and pay for college the next term. He did not have to worry about the unpaid rent on some apartment, or the chance that a landlord would dump all his possessions in the street!
I also wonder what he did for health insurance. Just sayin'.
From the photo and first paragraphs, I made a judgement about the writer as an ungrateful privileged young man. But the gap year did more than give him time to become independent. Absorbing the reality of being in a minority ( even with the noted base knowledge of an ability to escape) and doing unappealing and hard work ( at very low pay), are very valuable lessons that should change his judgement of others forever. Well written. Keep it up.
130
My son came home from his gap year studying Japanese to spend 3 months living at home and making pizzas for minimum wage alongside ex cons. That, too, was a valuable experience.
1
Sure. A "freelance writer," from the most expensive USA city. Wow, what a sense of "independence." Not.
2
Honest, well written and thoughtful piece. College is not for everyone, however, so many young adults are pressured into fulfilling their parents and peer group expectations. Fortunately the author had the insight to realize that he was clearly not only wasting his parents' money but also his life. He made a terrific decision to leave school, find himself and his motivation to finish his degree. I think a lot more senior high school students should do the same, and some probably not enter college.
61
I took a gap year of sorts between undergraduate and medical school and look at it as one of the best experiences of my life. I got a job as a tech in the ER, volunteered for a mayoral campaign and trained for and climbed Denali. All while saving a bit of money working and not paying another year of tuition. All these experiences have continued to influence my life now. I have seen a number of my friends and family plod through a degree program they are not really interested or fail out after collage became a continuous party. A gap year is not for everyone but do think it should be considered by more.
34
In some cases life experiences have more value than what can be learned from a text book.
Maybe the gap year is the Eat, Pray, Love of education?
Maybe the gap year is the Eat, Pray, Love of education?
5
As soon as I left college in 1982 and started working, I immediately began plotting to get more education because I knew that I didn't want to be doing this work for the rest of my life.
It took a long time -- over 20 years -- but I did it.
It took a long time -- over 20 years -- but I did it.
4
Ethan Knight, the American Gap Association president quoted here, seems to believe in the value of a gap year more than in vocational education, like beauty school. That smacks to me of elitism at least as much as the gap year option.
But otherwise I applaud Mr DeNuccio for giving himself the financial independence and time to think of what he wanted from college. I come from a working class family that did well and was able to send me to a good but not expensive college on its own dime. While I worked hard there, and enjoyed the experience, a year off to work or travel - preferably both - would have nudged me earlier and farther towards independent thinking and the right life choices. Getting a degree in some ways is just an extension of one's school life, not enough of a transition to adulthood. The earlier in your post-secondary school life you create a vision for your life, the better.
But otherwise I applaud Mr DeNuccio for giving himself the financial independence and time to think of what he wanted from college. I come from a working class family that did well and was able to send me to a good but not expensive college on its own dime. While I worked hard there, and enjoyed the experience, a year off to work or travel - preferably both - would have nudged me earlier and farther towards independent thinking and the right life choices. Getting a degree in some ways is just an extension of one's school life, not enough of a transition to adulthood. The earlier in your post-secondary school life you create a vision for your life, the better.
14
We had gap years when I went to College. It was called the Draft,a wonderful inducement to stay for four years. Or in the case of our President 5 years because of heel spurs.
87
LOL -- yup -- my husband's "gap year" was the threat of the draft (in 1971 when he graduated high school). To get around that, honorably, he enlisted in the Navy. For SEVEN YEARS.
He was only able to go to college afterwards, on the GI Bill.
Does that count as a "gap decade"?
He was only able to go to college afterwards, on the GI Bill.
Does that count as a "gap decade"?
9
Please, don't knock bone spurs. They are intensely painful. I've got them and had to give up not only running, but walking! It is so frustrating that something so small can give you so much pain! I used to love running, now I go to water aerobics and believe me, it's not as much fun.
2
Going to college on your parents dime is hard, good to take a year off backpacking to prepare, maybe some volunteering for good measure.
3
Rich people problem: grow up. Rich people solution; go slumming.
20
"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." ~ Mahatma Ghandi
101
Must be nice to have that kind of dough, I guess.
Grumpy old man here but back in my day a) you were truly lucky if you went to college at all; b) even more fortunate if you didn't haven't to work tough jobs around the clock to pay for it.
The concept/term of a "gap year" didn't even exist, except for a few pals who were - ahem - paying a brief debt to society or in the military.
Grumpy old man here but back in my day a) you were truly lucky if you went to college at all; b) even more fortunate if you didn't haven't to work tough jobs around the clock to pay for it.
The concept/term of a "gap year" didn't even exist, except for a few pals who were - ahem - paying a brief debt to society or in the military.
78
I was in college in the mid-70s -- my parents made it very clear that I had to work part-time (20 hours a week) to pay my own expenses like car insurance, gasoline, clothes, etc. (Back then, there was nothing like a cell phone to worry about!).
In the summers, I was expected however to find FULL TIME WORK (or increase my hours to 40+) to save up for the next year of college -- and contribute about half of my wages to this effort. I could keep the other half for expenses (the insurance, gas, clothes) as I did during the year.
Frankly, I had it easier than some poorer kids who had to work far more hours, and give 100% to their parents -- because they were poorer than my parents.
Some of the guys were lucky and could get jobs in the factories and mills, at high union wages -- but I was "just a girl" and the only jobs were in retail stores as a cashier or waitressing or office jobs as a typist. I was earning about $2.25 an hour in those days -- that's something like $4500 a year on an annualized basis (and I was working PART TIME). So it was very little money in the first place.
The idea that this would have paid, even back in that cheaper era, for European travel is just unthinkable. Had I asked my parents for a "gap year", they would have fallen in the floor laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of my request.
In the summers, I was expected however to find FULL TIME WORK (or increase my hours to 40+) to save up for the next year of college -- and contribute about half of my wages to this effort. I could keep the other half for expenses (the insurance, gas, clothes) as I did during the year.
Frankly, I had it easier than some poorer kids who had to work far more hours, and give 100% to their parents -- because they were poorer than my parents.
Some of the guys were lucky and could get jobs in the factories and mills, at high union wages -- but I was "just a girl" and the only jobs were in retail stores as a cashier or waitressing or office jobs as a typist. I was earning about $2.25 an hour in those days -- that's something like $4500 a year on an annualized basis (and I was working PART TIME). So it was very little money in the first place.
The idea that this would have paid, even back in that cheaper era, for European travel is just unthinkable. Had I asked my parents for a "gap year", they would have fallen in the floor laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of my request.
2
Baby boomers seem to have a collective amnesia. I grew up in the 70s, and read endless stories in the papers about 20-something baby boomers who had hitchhiked across the US, backpacked across Europe, move to a commune, spent a year at an Ashram in India, etc etc etc. I love how the "tune in, turn on, drop out" generation has become a generation of old scolds who never, ever did anything remotely unconventional when THEY were young.
14
Yes, this is definitely for those folks who can afford it but schools are also too expensive. I never heard of this school and it is $50 thou a year.
Back in the early 80s, CUNY (the City College of New York) was very inexpensive. Fifteen credits cost my parents around $650 a semester and I had to commute by subway to get to my college.
Colleges have gotten too expensive -- and there are way too many of them.
Back in the early 80s, CUNY (the City College of New York) was very inexpensive. Fifteen credits cost my parents around $650 a semester and I had to commute by subway to get to my college.
Colleges have gotten too expensive -- and there are way too many of them.
1
Nice job Kyle - you are a great writer and make an excellent argument for young adults to consider gap year. I am going to share your article with my 15-year old. Parents are funny - they want to teach their kids independence, but part of them never wants to let them go or want for anything. In my case I would say that I started working in high school (summers & after school), so having my own money in my pocket afforded me that independence even before I was applying to college. I agree with one of you key points - everyone needs to find their own way to independence and realizing the value of college degree
104
Well reasoned article. My own 'gap year' in the '80's involved driving a volunteer school bus from northern california to central america, building a medical clinic, then backpacking and taking spanish lessons. I spent 1,200usd over 6 months. Then got a job in construction building carparks to earn enough money to go back to school. Doing a Gap Year poor and learning the value of life in other places can teach even a poor kid the value of an education. Today even our less affluent children have a degree of wealth and a sheltered childhood unprecedented in history. Taking some time to mature and reflect on deriving value from an education, as well described in this article, is incredibly beneficial and not a sign of luxury.
148
I took three gap years between high school and college. I spent them working in the blast furnace operations at steel mill and managed to save enough -- even living on my own -- to pay for a couple of years of college.
Of course, I realize that vanishingly few of those sorts of jobs are available now (the CPI adjusted annual wages I made then works out to about $54,000 today).
Too bad.
Of course, I realize that vanishingly few of those sorts of jobs are available now (the CPI adjusted annual wages I made then works out to about $54,000 today).
Too bad.
78
@Ken: I greatly respect what you did. But that is not "a gap year". That is plain, old fashioned "working to save up to go to college".
And no, you can't do it today -- the high paying manufacturing jobs are gone, thanks to our snobby economic "elites" who cheerfully sent them all overseas to save $$$ and bolster their stock portfolios.
You can't save the kind of money needed for college working at Starbucks or Walmart or McDonalds, at $8 an hour (no benefits!).
My brothers were able to work such factory jobs even in the mid-70s -- and they made literally 3 times what I did, working in a department store as a sales clerk (while in college). But in those days, such companies were not compelled to hire girls for these blue collar jobs, so they were off limits to me.
I don't know what time period you worked in the steel mills was, but I was in college in the mid-70s, when the minimum wage was $2.25 an hour. DO THE MATH.
And no, you can't do it today -- the high paying manufacturing jobs are gone, thanks to our snobby economic "elites" who cheerfully sent them all overseas to save $$$ and bolster their stock portfolios.
You can't save the kind of money needed for college working at Starbucks or Walmart or McDonalds, at $8 an hour (no benefits!).
My brothers were able to work such factory jobs even in the mid-70s -- and they made literally 3 times what I did, working in a department store as a sales clerk (while in college). But in those days, such companies were not compelled to hire girls for these blue collar jobs, so they were off limits to me.
I don't know what time period you worked in the steel mills was, but I was in college in the mid-70s, when the minimum wage was $2.25 an hour. DO THE MATH.
8
No, you can't make the bucks as a barista.
But you can make big bucks on a fishing boat in Alaska
Or as an oil rig roustabout in South Dakota.
Ken did real work at a blast furnace. There is still this kind of hard work. But some millennials seem to prefer the Barista route.
But you can make big bucks on a fishing boat in Alaska
Or as an oil rig roustabout in South Dakota.
Ken did real work at a blast furnace. There is still this kind of hard work. But some millennials seem to prefer the Barista route.
2
Had to start and stop writing a comment on this missive several times. Far too easy to mock the author for his faltering steps into adult responsibility and his knee jerk willingness to blame his parents for his lack of ambition. At least he had the good sense to realize that wasting time and money to party while at school was just that, a waste of himself.
So the decision to leave and return was a good one. But really, who cares? The circumstances enabling him to pursue a gap year, or to advocate a bridge year are just not available to the vast majority of young people. Maybe they should be, but they are not.
So the decision to leave and return was a good one. But really, who cares? The circumstances enabling him to pursue a gap year, or to advocate a bridge year are just not available to the vast majority of young people. Maybe they should be, but they are not.
76
I know quite a few college age kids today (my own kids are past college by now). Some are from affluent homes, some are working class.
It's a HUGE difference not acknowledged here. For working class kids, every minute -- every day -- every class -- COSTS and they know the cost in pennies and dimes. They don't dare make a mistake, because the costs are terrifying -- six figures, and they have to REPAY IT ALL starting 9 months after graduation. They have part-time jobs. If they quit school, it would be straight to a factory or food service job -- not a trip to an exotic location.
They have no money for traveling, vacations, spring break etc. They struggle just to buy food and put gas in the car.
Clearly the author and many posters here DO NOT KNOW any working class kids in college -- as they never knew any Trump voters -- they live in an ivory tower affluent bubble in some WEALTHY blue coastal city where they only know people JUST LIKE THEMSELVES.
I also know affluent kids in college; boy is it different. They regale me with tales of their spring breaks, their summer vacations, their "gap years", their "poverty tourism" (about which they feel quite saintly, like visiting India and tut-tutting over the beggars in Calcutta). They travel almost as much as they study. It's a REAL entitlement, all this travel, for affluent young people.
I've also seen kids who take a "gap year" but it's to do stuff like surf in Australia. Big whoop. Or because of a new romantic interest.
It's a HUGE difference not acknowledged here. For working class kids, every minute -- every day -- every class -- COSTS and they know the cost in pennies and dimes. They don't dare make a mistake, because the costs are terrifying -- six figures, and they have to REPAY IT ALL starting 9 months after graduation. They have part-time jobs. If they quit school, it would be straight to a factory or food service job -- not a trip to an exotic location.
They have no money for traveling, vacations, spring break etc. They struggle just to buy food and put gas in the car.
Clearly the author and many posters here DO NOT KNOW any working class kids in college -- as they never knew any Trump voters -- they live in an ivory tower affluent bubble in some WEALTHY blue coastal city where they only know people JUST LIKE THEMSELVES.
I also know affluent kids in college; boy is it different. They regale me with tales of their spring breaks, their summer vacations, their "gap years", their "poverty tourism" (about which they feel quite saintly, like visiting India and tut-tutting over the beggars in Calcutta). They travel almost as much as they study. It's a REAL entitlement, all this travel, for affluent young people.
I've also seen kids who take a "gap year" but it's to do stuff like surf in Australia. Big whoop. Or because of a new romantic interest.
2
[[The circumstances enabling him to pursue a gap year, or to advocate a bridge year are just not available to the vast majority of young people.]]
So, what? Why is that his problem?
So, what? Why is that his problem?
Spoiled. I worked full-time (50 hours a week) during college and finished in three years with honors. So I could get to work and help my family. A gap year? That is a luxury if the 1 percent. Spoiled.
101
Oh please. The kid took a year to grow up. His parents had money. So what. You miss the point. Gap years satisfy many needs, one of which might be working and saving for college, but a lot of kids, even poor ones, (I was one) arrive at college with absolutely no sense of purpose or direction other than getting through school and getting a job that pays well. Gap years can open a student's eyes. As a life long learner and a retired teacher of many such students who could have benefitted from a gap year, I say good for him and anyone else, rich or poor, who takes the time to think. Gap years are NOT only for the wealthy.
303
Good for you, but 99% of the population isn't in your situation, or unable to work and travel for a year. Most 18 year olds in the USA are probably burdened not by family obligations but by family expectations.
23
Please do consider that your emotional foundation and financial need will have an impact on your decisions and will be different from everyone else you meet. You may be and should be proud of what you have accomplished but to call someone "spoiled" for not taking the same path as you did or is not up to your "standards" reflects poorly on you and that is a shame. You are not them and they are not you. Just appreciate that he shared his story and maybe you can feel good about your "success" without feeling the urge to put someone down like you just did.
43
I trust the value and benefits of the gap year as described, but I feel the main benefit was that the author came to accept responsibility for his direction and the work required to meet those responsibilities.
Whether society or parental actions are the reason, I wonder what we are missing that limits our ability to imbue those entering adulthood with the necessary understanding and acceptance of those personal responsibilities.
Of course, the author had the freedom and resources to get the experience that many of his fellow students lack. That can't be the the primary way that most take.
Whether society or parental actions are the reason, I wonder what we are missing that limits our ability to imbue those entering adulthood with the necessary understanding and acceptance of those personal responsibilities.
Of course, the author had the freedom and resources to get the experience that many of his fellow students lack. That can't be the the primary way that most take.
36
To address Cate's comment above about being spoiled - there is a difference between being spoiled and being fortunate. I too worked during undergraduate and graduate school. I graduated with virtually no debt (my mother helped with my undergrad tuition at a state university and I paid for grad school) and soon after I started working full time (I was 26 years old at that time) I started saving money. I was raised by a single mother - we didn't have a lot, but I was never jealous of others - my mother had a solid middle class job with full benefits (health insurance, etc.) and she retired on her modest pension plus SS.
Now I am able to fully support my children and my wife and I have had this conversation with friends who all remember the part time jobs we had to help pay towards our education and a "luxury" like a car or a ski trip during school break. Most of the children of my peers nowadays don't need to work - but that does not mean they are spoiled. Spoiled is when a person takes things for granted and does not have the compassion and understanding to know and appreciate what other people who are less fortunate than them are going through. Spoiled is when parents raise their children in a manner that does not allow them to see and experience personal responsibility as so aptly described by the author. The author is fortunate to have had such financial backing from his parents and fortunate that he had the opportunity to learn to appreciate how fortunate he is.
Now I am able to fully support my children and my wife and I have had this conversation with friends who all remember the part time jobs we had to help pay towards our education and a "luxury" like a car or a ski trip during school break. Most of the children of my peers nowadays don't need to work - but that does not mean they are spoiled. Spoiled is when a person takes things for granted and does not have the compassion and understanding to know and appreciate what other people who are less fortunate than them are going through. Spoiled is when parents raise their children in a manner that does not allow them to see and experience personal responsibility as so aptly described by the author. The author is fortunate to have had such financial backing from his parents and fortunate that he had the opportunity to learn to appreciate how fortunate he is.
29
And the world is still flat!!
And women should stick to the kitchen and always please their husbands!!
Haha!!
I have a bridge to sell for American puritans!!!