We fear death because we would not exist if we did not.
Accepting that brings true peace.
4
Death is not what I fear, the process of death I’m terrified of. I’m considering having a large “DNR” tattooed on my chest.
26
A very interesting piece, one which will require re-reading. For me the most salient thought is the following: "Death also represents renewal, regeneration and continuity." However, I think of renewal and regeneration, as well as continuity, from the standpoint of society rather than the self. At a certain point the old needs to be swept away in order to make way for new growth and possibility, perhaps with culture and the means of transmitting a degree of continuity.
Karma? Kind of Hegelian ... for me, not much more comforting than the notion of heaven and hell really.
10
Thank you.
7
My only fear regarding death is how it will happen--whether it will be sudden and unexpected, violent, a painful struggle, or the idyllic vision of "passing away peacefully in one's sleep, surrounded by loved ones." The not-knowing is my only source of worry.
I was raised Catholic, but I have no belief in the conventional ideas of "Heaven" or "Hell." This will no doubt sound like New Age mumbo-jumbo to some, but my own spiritual experiences (which have occurred on their own, with no "assistance" from a guru, priest, monk, or shaman) have given me the strong sense that yes--life and death are two sides of the same coin. I believe that BOTH are states of consciousness--one no worse or better, or even more "real" than the other. It's all just part of a natural fluidity (the only, um, non-natural state of altered consciousness that ever presented me with something that seemed relevant was when I watched a plant in a friend's dorm room appear to grow and then regress back and grow again, over and over--I still couldn't tell you exactly what it meant, but it has stayed with me for over 35 years). I believe that the only things we can do to affect either state in a beneficial way are (a) showing as much compassion as possible in all things, and (b) learning to ignore the many useless distractions of daily life in favor of an inner, centered stillness with no reliance on dogma or preconceived ideas. And trusting the ebb and flow.
The universe itself is a loving presence.
34
I respect religion and those who are religious and who show malice towards no one. I do not accept as religious those who can not follow the Golden Rule, in any religion. And I am not afraid of or concerned about Hades, heaven or hell, or reincarnation. Those are untested and untestable concepts of little use. And if any are real, we will know soon enough. Until then, I will respect those who do no harm, especially in the name of religion (paraphrasing Bertrand Russell).
25
I so respect the Buddhist philosophy. I was first introduced to it when reading Living Buddha, Living Christ by Thich Nhat Hanh. A truly remarkable writing about the power of love and compassion. So many of us know that death is indeed a part of life. Yet, it is one thing to expect it, and quite another to be truly prepared for it. I was fortunate to have life experiences which mimic what Dadul Namgyal so eloquently is attempting to teach our western minds. The first is that of being a hospital RN and witnessing the aura of peace that seems so inevitable for so many on the thresh-hold of passing on to another stage in this life/death phenomenon. The other was being raised Catholic. Although I have left behind many of the Church's teachings, it is almost in my DNA that life will continue even after I breathe my last breath. Whether it is true or not is irrelevant to me. What does make a difference is the peace I experience, free from fear and angst.
27
Very beautiful advice and photography. Thank you.
11
I have many researched many Eastern and other contemplative philosophies on grief and surviving the tragic death of a child. There is not much out there. I would like to see some of this series ask questions about how we the living can understand and perhaps even begin to heal unbearable loss.
23
Relax, do the best you can for yourself and others, you will get another chance, as many as you need. While easy to say and hard to do, everyone is doing the best they can in a life where they don't understand all the rules.
14
As a one-time zen monk in Japan with Ban-roshi, an old-school Dharma lineage holder of Harada Daiun Sogaku, I say these comments miss the mark.
Speculating about death in dokusan would instantly receive a lightening whack with the keisaku and a dismissive bit of laughter, likely before the thought was voiced.
3
@Fourteen14
Could it be that Tibetan Buddhism is very different from your former practice? You might leave some space open to consider the possibility.
30
"...monthly interviews with religious scholars (and one atheist) on death..." By all means, speak to several religious people. But also don't limit yourself to one atheist; there is as great a variety of perspectives among atheists as there is among religious people (and there are as many scholars). And atheists have internalized the reality of real death, not a death that is a door to another imagined world. I think your reflections on the topic would deepen.
24
"This includes the possibility of being born into many forms of life." I agree. Being (re)born as another form of life, I'm inspired by my guru Me Llamo Llama - "Who am I, where am I, why am I". Eternal questions asked by all forms of life.
1
Timely.
And -- I have a lot of work to do!
4
You can’t have a discussion about death without having a discussion about the nature of time. All of this “before and after” stuff presupposes a strict linear interpretation of time. I would suggest that such a notion of time is an illusion caused by the ordering process of consciousness. Consciousness is the arrow of time for us. Physics says that the entire universe and all physical laws work just as well backwards as forwards. Perhaps worrying about before and after is just a product of the limitations of being human and thinking in a human way.
46
The Native Americans also have deep wisdom, but unfortunately, it is not deeply articulated theoretically, philosophically and logically as the Eastern Traditions. (Let’s bracket off China, Tibet, Japan, Korea and the South Eastern Asian traditions for a moment,) The Sanskrit traditions is ten times larger than the Greek and Latin put together. Currently, there are 30 million Sanskrit manuscripts available, despite what have lost or destroyed by foreign intrusions
7
Death is a cosmic separation ~~ a switch like, from the intangible Life source -- Soul, spirit and Mind to the Tangible/physical realms of Totality.
Sleep is the manifestation of the dualistic universe. A short term of the same phenomenon of Life and Death, Light and Dark, day and night, Intangible ~ Tangible, Yes and No, and the 01 Binary forces of Nature that fuels the very~Creation Process.
Creation is a cosmic snap between Past and Future.
3
@Edmond X Time
Death is a cosmic separation ~~ a switch like, from the intangible Life source -- Soul, spirit and Mind to the Tangible/physical realms of Totality.
Sleep is the manifestation of the dualistic universe. A short term of the same phenomenon of Life and Death, Light and Dark, day and night, Intangible ~ Tangible, Yes and No, and the 01 Binary forces of Nature that fuels the very~Creation Process.
Creation is but a cosmic snap between Past and Future.
I've spent a lot of years loving, crying, questioning, learning, dancing, isolating. engaging, experiencing, and accepting. I hope I get to take whatever I've learned into whatever future awaits me once my body dies.
8
@Cantaloupe
It’s like a child refuses to give up its toys. Group up from the a, b, c religion you have inherited.
2
I have had a deep Buddhist practice since 1996, and have come to the place where I am tired of having everything caught up in words. Words and reality are quite separate from each other. But here we are anyway. And as Ram Dass’ spirit friend Emmanuel told him, “death is like taking off a tight shoe.”
83
@Chuck Burton But how would he know?
False comfort, comfort perhaps but still since no one knows, it is false.
I find comfort in believing that since many mainstream religions (as a kid I was terrified at sitting through a Southern Baptist sermon where I was looking anxiously around the room to see where the Devil was about to appear) are so much hot air and blowhard preachers, and that the threat of eternal damnation (all from a loving God) was inescapable.
Toss that aside and walk among the stars, if we get to do that, and all I ask for my job is to be put in charge of sunsets and rises, along with a few billowing clouds to herd and wrangle.
17
@reid Nothing happens after you die. I know.
7
@Chuck Burton I get the analogy. Death allows the spirit to break free from its fleshly prison. Of course if you deny the possibility of soul or spirit, then no one will "get it". i'll go with Chuck. My gut tells me that his words probably match the reality in the absence of empirical corroboration. There must be something to this "afterlife" stuff. After all, it's been around for awhile.
1
Being dead, it's life I fear.
2
People assume that whatever happens in death happens to you automatically, whether reincarnation, oblivion, heaven, hell, or whatever. What if death is just as much of a struggle as life?
8
There is on old philosophical problem. You have an axe. One day you are chopping wood and the head of the axe breaks. So you replace it. Then later, the axe is left out in the rain and the handle rots. So you replace the handle.
Is the axe now the same axe as the original axe?
Apply this problem to ourselves. Our physical substance, what we call matter, is mostly immaterial, vast space separating points of energy which we don’t fully understand. It’s structure is forged in stars and supernova, and inside our bodies according to our DNA. It is constantly being replaced. The energy which fuels the electricity in our minds is constantly being used up and replaced by the body. So, if the substance of ourselves changes from moment to moment, are we the same people from moment to moment?
Obviously, some thing connects us. Binds us together. What is it, though? And does it end with death?
9
Memory isn’t it. Memory is illusory and self-created. There are people with severe amnesia who can still wholly be themselves when fully immersed in the moment.
2
"Everything that has a beginning has an ending. Make peace with that and all will be well." - Buddha
While being wheeled in for a major exploratory surgery, the only thought that came to mind was "I've lived a good life." That was 30 years ago and it has comforted me ever since, and has enriched these past 30 years which I view as bonus time.
27
Ironically, or appropriately, one of the best ever lines on the death perspective, comes from the Grateful Dead lyricist Robert Hunter, who passed away recently. Hunter was a volunteer for government experiments with LSD in the bay area in the 60's.
Rather than useful espionage or other clandestine benefits, Hunter apparently experienced what Aldous Huxley might describe as a chemical induced enlightenment - instant nirvana. Pairing up with Jerry Garcia and the Dead he became their spirtual/musical road-map of amazing lyrics,
creating a huge subculture still thriving and growing today.
Robert Hunter - "such a long long time to be gone, and a short time to be there..."
from "Box of Rain"
8
Smiling daffodils
From market to you
Sunning our days together
We watch them die
And smile
4
February 26, 2020
To know life and to know death is all that is the journey for truth and humility - no matter how many reincarnations it takes from albeit the Egyptian or the Bardo tales we have great wisdom guides and with indeed journalistic faith by our eternal guardian the New York Times now and always for reporting the conditions of mind and soul for peace in total Nirvana should one be true to all.......
2
Close to the mirror, fading eyes
flatter your image even though
you wear that radical disguise:
brown spots and wrinkles. Fingers stall
a moment as you use the comb,
then wrestle with those buttonholes
so full of malice since your bones
began to brittle. You reheat
some coffee, toast a corn meal scone,
eat half. Your hunger can’t compete
with time which masticates unseen.
You clear the table; no more feast-
ing on those marinating dreams
when days are thinning like your hair.
A broadcast of Brahms’ requiem
is mauled by static - forecasts slur
into oblivion – you have not
been out in days, you need fresh air,
look out the window - sun is up
slowly begins to liquidate
grayed snow. You rinse the coffeepot -
are glad you left your bed unmade
when breath turns leaden in your chest.
You take your pills, lie down and wait
and hope the dreadful heaviness
will lift. You wonder: why do you
cling to each moment, fear the rest
in that uncharted state you knew
before your birth? You almost smile -
were you afraid of being, too?
39
@Nicole Lieberman
This is wonderful. Thank you so much.
10
These types of articles bring a lot of thoughts.
If we knew where we were going and how we got there, should we strive to do more, help others more, or relax more and enjoy ourselves by eating good food, smelling the flowers and watching more sunsets? On the other hand, unless you've chosen to do some harm or screw other people, perhaps we should say it happened just exactly as it should have, with no regrets.
I find it interesting that everyone continues to worry about whether or not there will be a different life somewhere, somehow, after we die. If there is, almost certainly there will be no recollection of what we were before, since there is certainly none now.
Finally, there is the persistent idea that the eastern religions hold some deeper, more sacred, truths. I'm not sure where this myth came from. The Beatles traveled to India, I believe, looking for deeper meaning and truth. If you are a new age believer, all you need to do is mention eastern mysticism to get a rapt audience. All the while we have Native Americans (here in the USA) who have had deep thinkers and traditions which are generally ignored or thought of as superficial in understanding or 'quaint' little ideas.
8
@reid
The Native Americans also have deep wisdom, but unfortunately, it is not deeply articulated theoretically, philosophically and logically as the Eastern Traditions. (Let’s bracket off China, Tibet, Japan, Korea and the South Eastern traditions for a moment,) The Sanskrit traditions is ten times larger than the Greek and Latin put together. Currently, there are 30 million Sanskrit manuscripts available, despite what have lost or destroyed by foreign intrusions.
3
"To live is Christ, to die is gain," as St. Paul said. This requires REVEALED religion. By accepting the atonement, we don't just dissolve into the universe but experience everlasting life.
1
Thank you for sharing Geshe Nyamgyal’s teaching. It reminds me of a verse from The 37 Bodhisattva Practices by Tibetan monk Thokme Zangpo:
Long-associated companions will soon part.
Wealth and possessions gathered with effort will be left behind.
Consciousness, the guest, will leave the guest-house of the body.
Letting go of this life is the bodhisattva’s practice.
Perhaps thinking about our impermanence can help us focus more on developing our inner qualities like compassion which can benefit us beyond this life—and keep our attachment to transitory material things in perspective.
13
There is no need to fear death, since such is a useless and futile mental exercise. What you do need to be concerned about is the manner of your death.
We should all hope for a painless, peaceful, and quick exit. The thing to be truly feared and dreaded is a prolonged, painful, unceasingly tortuous path to your end.
Oblivion is waiting for all of us: just hope it occurs with celerity.
4
@Bob
I'm always fascinated by people who think of themselves as hard headed, rational minded realists, who assert with absolute certainty something that has no empirical grounding.
And when you point it out to them, they just change the subject, rather than actually confronting sunyata.
4
@Don Salmon
My comment feels a bit mean spirited; I didn't intend it that way but apologies if it comes across that way.
I am, perhaps it's better to say, mystified by this kind of faith. And the contradiction between this faith and genuine reason.
Knowing something as absolute certain, which I understand appears rational because it is consistent with what people who identify themselves as "rational" tend to believe, despite not having any of the so-called "empirical" evidence they claim to believe in.
Isn't that fascinating?
3
@Bob:
I agree that the thing to be feared is a prolonged tortuous path to the end - - - so, when I sense that I'm "slipping", I hope I'll be able to get myself to Dignitas, in Zurich, to "check myself out - - -"
7
Live harmlessly in thought, word and deed. Love thy neighbor as you would love yourself. This is the great destroyer of fear. Obey the Golden Rule. Fridge magnet sayings? Yes. Eternal Truths? Yes. To one who truly loves, Death has no power whatsoever.
11
Religion is a response to the fear of death. Without death there would be no religion.
7
What will happen after I die? I strongly suspect the same thing that happened right before I was born.
109
You assume that before you were born you were nothing because you don’t remember. I don’t remember what it was like to be an infant either, or a very small child. But you did not emerge fully formed out of nothingness. Your substance, whatever it is, existed in some form before you did, and it will continue to exist in some form after you are dead. What was your face before your parents were born?
8
@Ben Says you.
4
@Ben the same as my face after my death. I think you are assuming conclusions from the statement. what you were before birth is the same amount of nothing as after, and as while.
3
For me, it is not about the tangible things in my life. I don't know how to say goodbye to my children and family. I understand that I can set an example of aging and dying gracefully. As John Prine the great philosopher sings, "And I always will remember these words my daddy said. He said, 'Buddy, when you're dead, you're a dead pecker-head.'" Life for a short time, dead forever.
6
Though I don't follow any religion, I'll take Buddhism over Christianity any day. Christians are way too aggressive and controlling of other people.
Buddhists concentrate on being nice people and getting their own act together.
I like the round about, creative way, Namgyal talked about your karma(" virtuous actions") determining your post death fate. Fascinating concept. Some say the inevitability of karma is more than the average human can endure.
19
Wonderful piece! Thank you so much for this.
1
"We fear death because we love life"
I posit that death is feared because it is unknown. Being alive is a known experience noted and described ad infinitum. As the unknown is often feared, being dead, not so much...
4
Those unfamiliar with Tibetan Buddhism should know there is an alternative to the views expressed herein.
Atiyoga, the Perfection of Wisdom tradition (Dzogchen), asserts that the fundamental existential mistake leading to the fear of death finds its origin in the act of self-reflection and the reification of the locus of self-awareness. Significantly, Atiyoga asserts primordial knowledge informs prior to such an act.
Fear of death is an artifact of reification: the concretization of the coalescent object (the locus of self-awareness). Form is experienced as other than emptiness; duration obtains. The self-awareness of coalescence (Being, as Parmenides would have it) instantiates apodictic knowledge (clearly established or beyond dispute). Dzogchen avers such knowledge is “primordial”.
By virtue of its coalescence, the object of perception is subject to interpretation. Cultural differences determine the characterization of the transcendent singularity, the transcendent ‘One’. Reification establishes an artificial invariant.
For others, the reified object of perception presents as apophatic (unknowable) knowledge. The 'Veil of Isis', Mystery, and 'the Fall' are cultural evocations of the consequence of self-reflection and the reification of the perceived.
Dzogchen asserts knowledge of the transcendent One is primordial; acknowledgement of such intimate awareness, universal. Spirituality finds its genesis herein; it is antecedent to reification.
2
@R.H. Joseph
Yes, all that, except that emptiness - as all that arises - is not empty.
I'm curious to know George Yancy's opinion of Aldous Huxley's famous compendium, "The Perennial Philosophy," that lays out the similar responses to these universal questions in the Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Islamic and other religions. I found Huxley's book very revealing when first seeking answers myself.
I also wish to recommend the works of Jacques Levrat, a remarkable French Catholic priest who dedicated his life to understanding commonalities in Christian and Islamic meditation on universal questions, most notably in his book "Du Dialogue," and whom I knew later in Morocco (Levrat passed away in 2013).
Finally, on a lighter note, I like repeating the observation attributed to a California guru, that runs: "The principal cause of death, .... is birth." That summation is quick and quite right!
10
@C.L.S. Might he therefore jestingly have stated in one of his deeper moments that "death is the cause of rebirth"?
2
@C.L.S.
And the Upanishads and, Advaita Vedanta. Why do you fail to mention the Hindu Traditions, probably, the fountainhead of all mysticism
5
@Jay You're right. Huxley's book indeed includes the Upanishads and the Hindu Traditions. What do you think of that book, written I think in the late 1950s?
2
While much in this interview is good, I feel there is a central point is evaded -- more, I think, because of the interviewer than the interviewee.
Death is frightening because there is good reason to think it is extinction. (This is consonant with the Buddhist view that we fear it because we love life.) In fact, although some Buddhists have said some things about an afterlife, there is a strong sense in which such views are not very important in Theravada Buddhism and related branches. Buddhism is about trying to become one's best self, not for some later reward, but for its own value in the present.
By contrast, belief in an afterlife is supremely important to most Christians. In this sense they do not confront the problem of extinction but rather deny it.
11
I'm glad to see this thread because death is not looked at rationally enough by society.
Death and its implications are basic to every religion, even Buddhism. It's one of the main reasons we have religion: to give us something to look forward to after we die.
To religious leaders, it's the perfect con. The large majority of humans fears death and wants to avoid it. Religion has a solution: you still live after death; it can't be proven wrong; it gives people hope; it removes this sticky point (death) from spoiling all the fun.
All this talk about taking life as a gift, enjoying the simple, wondrous beauty of the world, loving others, etc. is great and everyone should practice this approach to life, but they are not what religion is about. Take afterlife out of the dogma and religion loses most of its appeal.
5
I became a Buddhist not out of fear of death, but because I was looking for a way to control my mind from moment to moment.
9
Living with Leukemia for the past decade, and doing some reading in Tibetan Buddhism, has made it easier for me to accept the fact that will not be alive in a few more years. I do what I can, but cannot change the inevitable.
The cards are marked, the dealer is crooked, and the deck is stacked, but it's the only game in town. Play to win.
34
Beautiful writing but I will go with Socrates and the "dreamless sleep." Actually my feeling about life/death is like the joke about the two elderly women complaining about the terrible food at the Catskills resort they visit. The food is awful, they suffer through the meals, but "the portions are too small."
8
@Eli
The dreamless sleep can be found in the Mandukya Upanishads and many more Vedantic Ulanishads.
3
Hindus have 3 principles on death which they live by:
Acceptance- Death is a fact. Unfortunately, there’s no escaping it. This also means that no human being can possibly love you forever- you won't be around! So instead of loving selfishly and looking for what we can get from someone else or circumstances, the Hindu philosophy is to give without expectation. Our time is so short, and love is so important, it doesn’t really matter if that person (or persons) even return it.
Preparation and Surrender- No one knows when we’ll die..it’s impossible. In fact, it could happen at any moment (hopefully not before you finish this article ;)). To a Hindu, it’s important to always be prepared for that moment by practicing the presence of the divine at all times. Instead of being overwhelmed by things going on in life, the Hindu chooses to recognize it’s impermanent and move on because it can’t be controlled. They surrender.
Service- Everyone is always running around thinking about their worldly duties, and many times they forget about those around them. But the Hindu way is to serve those that are not helped and see everyone and everything as nothing other than Self.
30
e.e.cummings observed, "dying is fine but death, o baby!" I like to ponder the question of where we were before we became conscious and, where we may go when consciousness stops. My hunch is we're in for an eternity of nonexistence, no awareness, no inhabiting other life forms, just an end to what we've been, full stop. Feels like sleep without dreams, forever. The trouble starts when you demand something else, invent a myth to support your desires and find ways to discount those who don't buy into your beliefs.
12
@Tribal Elder thank you for this. So many guesses about an afterlife posit a ego consciousness that is present and able to think about/experience said afterlife.
Just like the one who is typing this.
What if that's just not true? There wouldn't be a consciousness there to make note of anything.
1
Although this conversation made lot of sense, it failed to integrate the instinctual aspect of the fear of death and that seems so naive as to threaten the credibility of this man’s mans words.
5
TO DEATH
Death, death, death, death,
death, death, death…
Do you know why I’m saying
your name over and over?
I will tell you why I am saying
your name over and over, Death.
I am saying it so it will lose its meaning.
Do you know what, Death?
It already has, and if you don’t
believe me, read the poem I wrote to Life.
4
If you can hang with the Tiberian Book of the Dead long enough, there is much in it that can go a long way toward informing your beliefs about death and dying...
5
Om ah hung. May all beings benefit.
I like the old story of someone in a very dark cave that sees a snake and is very terrified all night. Once there is light again, the person sees that the snake was a piece of rope the whole time. The person only experienced fear because they had a wrong view regarding the existence of a snake, when there never really was a snake.
We fear death because we believe it is the loss of a fixed, independent, unchanging self. Buddhism teaches that through contemplation, meditation, and compassion, one realizes that this view of a self is wrong view, and our fear has no basis, quite like the person who was scared of a snake even though there never was a snake.
24
@Casey
This is taken from the 8th century Hindu Philosopher, Shankara in his Brahma Sutra Bhasya. Please read original source.
3
@Casey
A monk was walking home to the monastery one dark night, stepped on a frog and squished it.
He was mortified and could not sleep all night long. The next morning he went back to that frog to say a prayer, and found that it was a tomato.
Google the Perception Gap study.
4
If there is one comforting thought about death, it is that EVERYONE will experience it.
13
Without sounding pompous: to know death is to embrace life. That varies diametrically with western religious thought because they attempt to sooth the unknown and frightful with an alternative that is yet to be determined and very easy to exploit.
To know that we will all perish strikes me as the sine que non as to why all people should be respected and loved and why life, something none of us ever asked for, should be embraced to the fullest.
43
A tremendous amount of wisdom in a small space.
15
Not once has the uncovered Universe asked, “Where Do We Come From? What Are We? Where Are We Going?”
take a breath, and maybe another one. be still without complaints, wants or wishes congratulate yourself at sunset for success or failure and at sunrise you get another opportunity to take a breath and maybe another one
62
Excellent article, thank you.
3
"This includes the possibility of being born into many forms of life."
This will happen to all of us regardless of how we live our lives. For all eternity. So don't worry about judgment. We will all wind up being everyone and everything, an infinite number of times. That's all happening ... all the time.
In terms of death, it seems we have nothing to fear but fear itself. But that's true of life as well.
After all, isn't the purpose of life the acceptance of death?
That's the circle of life. Or the circle of death. They're necessarily one and the same.
37
@Blue Moon
A true monk does not die, nor are they born or reborn, they just continue to meditate. We are all like this.
https://siberiantimes.com/other/others/news/n0105-mummified-monk-is-not-dead-and-in-rare-meditative-state-says-expert/
2
@Nreb
And you know this because you remember what it was like?
And as far as the people who have quite different memories of what it was like...?
That is, the people with different memories who have had those memories validated? (see "Way of the White Clouds")
1
@Nreb going under doesn't cut off your consciousness it gives you amnesia of what happened. Plenty of people have both been awake at points under general as well as have been able to recall experiences at points in the future.
1
Religion has made death a fearful prospect by the constant harping on "sinners" going to Hell and the horror they will endure. (See Dante for specifics). The ancients had a better view. All go to Hades, which was not a place of punishment but simply another existence. Another point is the uncertainty associated with death ("what dreams may come") and therefore a consciousness of the end of our "existence' (I'll die on the operating table --- will you know it or not??) Again to Shakespeare ("Death, a necessary end, will come when it will come") and for myself it is only the manner which brings fear.
7
I "believe" in rebirth. It is a posture towards life that I purposefully adopt and commit to. It is, for me, a powerful tool to help me more clearly understand how my reality works (I can't help but experiment on myself and assess the results), rather than an assertion about reality to be defended.
I'm told by some that religion is about assuaging our fears, but belief in rebirth does no such thing. In fact, it makes me face reality and make hard choices, eyes wide open.
5
@TMJ
KARMA?!
A caterpillar nibbles leaves and never sips
The nectar into which, when winged, it dips.
Contentedly it crawls from bush to tree,
Spins a cocoon, does not foresee that
It will change into a butterfly and
Flutter in a honeysuckle sky.
However, transmigration less genteel
Awaits the caterpillar that becomes a meal.
7
@Nicole Lieberman Fantastic!
3
Facing my death?
I don't know whether to welcome it or not. I don't know whether to welcome it because my life has been a disappointment, something like having been born with and living with perpetual alzheimer's disease, always confused, dimly discerning patterns but unable to make sense, always thinking maybe I've forgotten something, always struggling to clarify my thoughts in writing, always feeling I missed out on something essential.
And I don't know whether to fear it, hang on to life because I don't know what's behind the door of darkness through, the door from which nobody ever returns (Omar Khayyam). I do know that all my life I never really pursued wealth or fame or power and that the only obsessions I can recall are when I fell in love and when I became curious about something, which is to say overall I would just like to know a lot better what's going on, to at least have some worthwhile understanding of something before I die.
I hang on to life because of fear of death and hope that at least something will be understood, become clear to me, but I welcome death because life is so much confusion and I can't make heads or tails of even minor things not to mention life itself. There seems an island in the middle of it, some understanding where you can rest between life and death, reconciled to both as easy as possible for a human but I haven't found it yet. A good life and death is I suppose rising from ground and up and slowly into clouds and through into space
16
@Daniel12 Thank you.
3
I don't fear death so much. It's going to happen no matter what I think about it. I do think more about how it's going to happen and my fears are stuck there.
9
my reply to a commenter who stated:
"just as we had no consciousness before we were born we will have no consciousness in death"
I don't believe that is true - where did you find this information?
some children distinctly remember their previous life before being born into this life on earth & throughout our lives we are presented with glimpses of a previous life -
from the parents we choose, and the many situations and people we interact with to learn from in this life =
Attachment casuses Suffering - LET GO
Life is but a dream - merrily, merrily row your boat gently down the Stream - Dream of Life
Serve others, be kind, love one another That is the true nature of Life & purpose you came back here for...
for the Benefit of All Beings.
Forget the Ego. Live in the present moment - no past, no future. no thinking ....no problems
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As I hit my mid 70's I'm trying to come to terms with the realization that I have no idea what is going on. I think religious concepts, language, and imagery is a nice way to wrap my ignorance but I still know what is under the wrapper. I've always thought religion could be an relentless search for truth, and the first step in that seems to be a terrifying letting go of assumptions and trusted illusions. However, death does not inspire fear. Both through a 50 year career in ministry and as the caregiver for elderly parents I've come to view death as a welcome friend, if the timing is right.
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“This points to the possibility of being at ease with and accepting the fact of constant change, while at the same time making the most sensible and selfless use of the present moment.”
This sounds all very nice, but we should not overlook the importance of the word “selfless.” Can we take it seriously? And if so, what is the Buddhist teaching concerning abortion?
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This interview helped calm my mind today. I was thinking about the Buddha Lands, a metaphorical exercise Buddhists engage in to describe their paradise upon reaching enlightenment. I follow the Tiantai Buddhist school, which holds that delusion is just as necessary as enlightenment and that the two conditions interpenetrate and subsume each other. It is rather different from most forms of Buddhism in that it recognizes the inherent equality of all things, much like life and death and positivity and negativity. If there were a motto, it might be, "It takes all types."
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I really like the attitude of Dadul as he essentially says as you sow so shall you reap... But, and it's a big but, Buddhism has the same flaw as all religions in that even as he talks about accepting reality as it is, he says:
"... we believe in the continuity of subtle mind and subtle energy into the next life, and the next after that, and so on without end. This subtle mind-energy is eternal; it knows no creation or destruction. For us ordinary beings, this way of transitioning into a new life happens not by choice but under the influence of our past virtuous and non-virtuous actions. This includes the possibility of being born into many forms of life."
In other words, he believes whatever it is that makes us us continues on after death. Unfortunately, that is not accepting the reality that when we die, just like any other living thing, we go out of existence, period...
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@Charles Krause — Just because subtle mind and subtle energy are flows that have no beginning or end does not mean that "Arizona Girl" won't go out of existence at the time of death of this gross mind and gross body. I suggest that it's not the subtle mind and subtle energy that makes us "us."
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@Charles Krause But what do you mean by “we” or “I” or “us”? That is the essential question. Is it the ever changing likes/dislikes of our conditioned mind? Buddhism isn’t so concerned with the transient “I” of I like peach ice cream, I hate vanilla ice cream. I like opera, I hate opera. But typically that is what most people are concerned with and how most people define themselves. This is the occupation of the “gross” mind which after this particular life does fall away and is extinguished. Buddhism (Vajrayana Buddhism) is much more concerned with the subtle mind and energies and the recognition that these are more our “true” selves.
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One faces death with equanimity.
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Reification rules us. Dissolve this clinging and the Nature of Mind is revealed: empty and alive! Abide in Awareness, without effort, and directly perceive how it is that you exist.
Easy to say but only achieved through difficulty.
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I love it. Thank you for share us this interview.
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Best thing I've read in NYT for a long, long, time. Thank you very much!
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Thank you.
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I started practicing Buddhism a few years ago at a time in my life when I was experiencing deep depression. My Buddhist practice quite literally saved my life. Why? Through Buddhist practice I have come to see how everything is impermanent and changing. Mindfulness about changing conditions allows one to fully experience the present without dwelling on the past and worrying about the future.
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The fear of death is simply the fear of the loss of (the sense of) The Ego Self. As infants we are made ultimately from the dust of the universe and are nothing but creatures with needs and the Ego Self develops to protect us as it can against the world outside our skin. We never actually develop the sense of being but a part of the whole universe. Even the psychological Ego construct is something most people aren’t aware of. We simply go about living as we can.
The fear of death is at bottom the fear of the loss of this construct that allows us to function as a little more than creatures. But the Ego is the way that the brain organizes the world for us. Unlike animals we don’t operate primarily by instinctual drives. Even the lowliest of us chooses one thing over another and that is the power of Ego. Death is the permanent, inevitable shutting of the electrical system of our brain cells. It is why Alzheimer’s which does this in slow motion while people still live is as terrifying to most people as death itself.
Just as we had no consciousness before we were born we will have no consciousness in death. The material of which we are made (bones, blood) breaks down and the universe “uses” us for something else but we, as Individual Egos, will no longer exist. It is the great peace or the great void depending on how you see yourself in this life. We affect tomorrow by the behavior we show today. Hence, the need for good; ”the evil that men do lives after them.”
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@B. Rothman
If the "Ego Self" is a construct, it is not something that has substantial existence.
If it has no substantial existence, it cannot be lost, because it cannot in truth be found.
When we realize there's nothing to lose to begin with, that is the beginning of the end of the fear of death.
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"We might tell them that an afterlife would be a continuation of themselves, and that their actions in this life, either good or bad, will bear fruit. So if they cultivate compassion and insight in this life by training in positive thinking and properly relating to others, then one would carry those qualities and their potential into the next."
It is helpful to remember that this is distinct from a concept of 'soul.' While karmic reactions and habitual tendencies may persist from cycle to cycle, Buddhists do not assume that a singular personality will survive. Some people claim to remember events from past lives. But that is rare and difficult to substantiate.
I personally picture it as more of a drop falling back to the great ocean of being and then other drops splashing back up again and again.
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For any reader interested in Vajrayana Buddhism, may I suggest the works of my teacher Chogyam Trungpa. “As in music, when we hear the crescendo building, suddenly if the music stops, we begin to hear the silence as part of the music.” All things must pass: may all being be released from suffering.
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So inspiring to read this dialogue on an essential aspect of existence unanimously shared by all!
Cause & effect governs all karma or circumstance no matter how unfathomable or unique to each of us. We've all had those momentary wonders or glimpses when we ask ourselves "how did I get here?" Based on karma our birth is never random, it follows that neither will be our passing from this life. Enlightened philosophy or faith should guide us deeper into this mystery with joyful realization to live more lovingly, happily and generously!
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A wonderful piece.
New thoughts, and better.
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A brilliant piece, thank you for this.
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Beautiful article. It reminds me of what I figured out in my philosophy classes long ago. Our mind is like a window unto the world. It allows us to see what is out there if we keep in clear and unobstructed, not foggy or dirty. It is most clear when we use logic, and becomes foggy when we do not.
We choose how we respond to what we see through the window. We can focus on the messiness of the world or the beauty to be seen, but it is hard to focus on everything that is there. What we focus on, for most of us, is a choice we make. It is that choice which brings the meaning of our life to us.
Windows can disappear, if we close the blinds or in other ways. If the house you grew up in is torn down or destroyed, that window you looked through as a child is gone, just like the mind when we die. A window can be rebuilt, but it is not the same window. If there is an afterlife, it will be a different window.
I do not fear the time when my window on the world is gone. Whatever is going to happen, or not, is beyond my power. It could be in the hands of some other power, but it is impossible for me to actually know that. But, whatever happens, it would be illogical to think that the window remains.
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The series is a great idea. Thank you.
I've been thinking a lot about an afterlife and have organized my thought into three columns: what I want to believe, what I can believe, and what I would have a very hard time believing. I won't bore you will the specifics, but I feel that we need to be careful about believing what we most want to--it's the easiest thing in the world.
Looking forward to the next installment!
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@anonymouse
The essence of this article is that we fear death because we cling to a fantasized image of ourselves, the people we love, and everything else that we conceive of as “I,” “me,” “mine.”
(From the article): "We fear death because we love life, but a little too much, and often look at just the preferred side of it. That is, we cling to a fantasized life, seeing it with colors brighter than it has.... We fear death also because we are attached to our comforts of wealth, family, friends, power, and other worldly pleasures. We see death as something that would separate us from the objects to which we cling."
And the solution?
“Deepen the insight into the ways things are connected and mutually affect one another, ,and integrate them accordingly into your life.”
Look right now.
What is it that is aware of all this?
Look closely and you’ll see there are no detectable boundaries?
Do you have any recollection of a beginning of this awareness?
If there is no beginning to it, then there is no end to it.
There is no birth nor death for it.
(From the Gita: Water cannot wet it, air cannot dry it, fire cannot burn it.
It is beyond space and time, beyond mind and measurement.
It is.
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@Don Salmon
the problem with the previous letter is that it seems to make "awareness" into a thing.
It is no thing. Nor is it "it."
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Namgyal says "This subtle mind-energy is eternal; it knows no creation or destruction." Second Law of Thermodynamics says that energy is never lost. Thus, Buddhism and Science agree.
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We also fear death simply because we will miss those we love. To speak about life and death without speaking directly about love is missing the point of our existence.
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@anonymouse
The essence of this article is that we fear death because we cling to a fantasized image of ourselves, the people we love, and everything else that we conceive of as “I,” “me,” “mine.”
(From the article): "We fear death because we love life, but a little too much, and often look at just the preferred side of it. That is, we cling to a fantasized life, seeing it with colors brighter than it has.... We fear death also because we are attached to our comforts of wealth, family, friends, power, and other worldly pleasures. We see death as something that would separate us from the objects to which we cling."
And the solution?
“Deepen the insight into the ways things are connected and mutually affect one another, ,and integrate them accordingly into your life.”
Look right now.
What is it that is aware of all this?
Look closely and you’ll see there are no detectable boundaries?
Do you have any recollection of a beginning of this awareness?
If there is no beginning to it, then there is no end to it.
There is no birth nor death for it.
(From the non-Buddhist text, the Bhagavad Gita): Water cannot wet it, air cannot dry it, fire cannot burn it.
It is beyond space and time, beyond mind and measurement.
It is.
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@Don Salmon Thank you for the thoughtful response. I'm going to cut and paste and save it -- words worth keeping. That being said, I do think the Buddhist Monk viewed love as an attachment, a worldly comfort. If you learned to love people who are hard to love, you view it less as a comfort but more as a purpose. Thanks again for the thoughtful dialogue.
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@anonymouse
Fascinating. It's so hard to convey these things in words - but I think you caught the deeper meaning.
The way we usually relate to people we "love" is - hard for most of us to acknowledge - as an attachment to something that makes "me" happy.
In your view of it as "purpose" - or perhaps, in a more affective way of saying it, as self-giving - it is no longer that crude sense of attachment but more like a self-existent love that can't help but giving because that is its nature.
And thanks to you for continuing the dialog.
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Excellent piece, thanks.
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Thank you for this interview.I wish we could teach Buddhist Wisdom to everyone. We would ( at least ) eliminate much of the suffering in America.
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This is the most important article of the day.
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Buddhists do not face death. They go in it as the conclusion of life.
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This dialogue is a treasure and I thank the NYT for it. I have always seen Buddhism is a practical and compassionate way to be in life which is its main emphasis. No gods to save us, only our own selves in touch with the rest of the universe to determine who we are and how we are being as we live our lives.
Yes, there is the subtle mind that continues, and seeing death as part of life is in many traditions. When the Buddha taught he held up a flower without a word and in that gesture he was attempting to show us that life is both beautiful and transitory though continuing, but to know the moment in that flower in this moment is all that we ever really know.
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@just Robert
Actually, to the best of my understanding, the best of all contemplative traditions similarly sees no Gods to save us (though acknowledges non-physical life, as does Buddhism and more recently, the best of science), and our own "selves" if we understand what "our," "own," and "selves" (or "Self") means.
The self is an enemy or friend of the Self.
Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 6
"Lord, let my will, not thine, be done."
Donald Trump, at least in spirit
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@Don Salmon Thank you for your comment. Hinduism at least to some considers the Buddha as an avatar. I have always felt that Hinduism and Buddhism are sister/brother practices with much in common.
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@just Robert
Thanks JR (anywhere near Asheville?)
I hope my comment about Trump came across. Geshe Namgyal beautifully conveys the roots of the fear of death - what Tibetan Buddhists often refer to as "self cherishing" or "self grasping."
I've often thought that Donald Trump may be one of our greatest living gurus, a veritable avatar of self-grasping. The guilelessness, spontaneity, sheer exhilaration and joy in which he steps over (or on) virtually everyone he comes in contact with for the sake of his (small "s') self is almost like Ravanna come alive for the modern age (Ravanna was Rama's nemesis in the Ramayana - now playing on Netflix, by the way, with somewhat cheesy acting but a beautifully filmed version).
I find as a psychologist, when I'm evaluating people with rather severe personality disorders (that is, poorly formed selves, people who are incapable of seeing needs apart from their own), that Trump is almost like an extra DSM guide to diagnosis.
Really, looking at my disdain or negative reactions to his manifestations is a way to see my own limitations. He is simply here to mirror to us our own self-grasping. Love Trump and you'll get over your fear of death!!
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