House Hunting in Berlin: A Kaleidoscope of Style for $3.2 Million

Feb 19, 2020 · 67 comments
Moodbeast (Raja Ampat)
Obviously will be an AirBnB.
Bonnie (Minneapolis)
"Death by Wallpaper." Someone ticked off the decorator.
J.Sutton (San Francisco)
Scary! This is enough to give me nightmares. I'd never get a good sleep in that garish home, not even for $3.2 million.
TheBackman (Berlin, Germany)
I live in Berlin and that is the ugliest wall treatment I've ever seen. Love the 10 person sauna and a one person tub! Why not just a big sponge for sponge baths.
Lois steinberg (Urbana, IL)
I bet the owners never cooked in this place.
Sonja (Berlin, Germany)
This is not how the average Berliner is living.
Sasha (CA)
Truly disturbing.
Rachael Eiermann (Los Cabos, Mexico)
The comments are to die for...
Millie Cappa (New Jersey USA)
Easily the most hideous home I’ve seen to date in the real estate section of the NYT...
Michel (Portland ,Oregon)
Someone is not mentally well!
Brooklynite (USA)
Fun to stay in for a weekend. But impossible to live in for even three days, though.
A.L. Hern (Los Angeles, CA)
There are far more words in the English language than in German — upwards of one-million — but I don’t know if there is a single word that can express more forcefully and succinctly what’s depicted in these photos than this simple description: HIDEOUS, and nothing less.
blue sky (richterswil)
i visit berlin quite often and love it - this kind of appartements doesn‘t suite berlin or the berliners at all. if berlin were so tacky i would not have been there a single day.
Jim McMahon (Los Angeles)
I believe, in realtor parlance, the home is very “taste specific.” Yikes!
post-meridian (San Francisco, CA)
Oh God! My nerves!
Matthew (NJ)
Ach du lieber!
Steve (Maryland)
Let me guess. It's for sale because the owner exploded.
J.Sutton (San Francisco)
@Steve You're right. And it's called spontaneous combustion. I think I detect some remains on the various wall coverings - they appear splattered.
MC (Iowa)
Oh, my... this decor is entirely too stress inducing for my tastes. A splash of the patterns here and there is one thing, but this is an overwhelming blast to the senses. It is like a strobe light that never shuts off. No thank you.
Potter (Chicago)
Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Joe (Tampa, Florida)
I dig it. totally groovy.
Josh Eisen (NYC)
Berlin is the best global metropolis bargain. Amazing culture, very low crime, parks and center of Europe. Would buy there in a heartbeat. Not this place though.
EASabo (NYC)
If I were forced to live here, I would almost certainly go completely, quietly, perhaps gratefully, insane.
EF (NYC)
This kind of place requires a very large bananas and blow budget.
Pb (USA)
What this place needs is a splash of white. You should follow this one up and see how much it sold for. And then see if they did a rehab.
DS (Montreal)
The problem with this place, at the price it is being offered, is that the buyer will be paying for the décor and the renovations which clearly are very personal to the owners. So either the buyer will have to love what the owners did to it or overpay for the space Who knows, there may well be a buyer in the artistic milieu in which this place is located who will love it -- all you need is one person.
Passion for Peaches (Left Coast)
I want to find something nice to say about this, so I send huge compliments and applause to the person who chose and planted up the gorgeous, oversized planters, and who did (it’s probably by the same person or company) the living (planted) wall. Also really like the parrot upholstery in the chairs. I would just place those in a calmer room. :-o
T SB (Ohio)
This house gives me seizures.
Linda (OK)
The look of all white walls in houses, the look that is so popular, gets boring. On the other hand, the photos of this apartment made my eyeballs hurt.
CS (Phoenixville, PA)
Wow! This place reminded me of a scene in a movie I saw as a kid in the mid 60s - The Ipcress File. In it, Michael Caine gets locked into a reconditioning chamber designed to shatter his psyche so the bad guys can rebuild it to suit their nefarious purposes. IPCRESS stands for "Induction of Psychoneuroses by Conditioned Reflex under Stress". Buyer beware, people!
WF (here and there ⁰)
Four wine refrigerators, that explains it.
Passion for Peaches (Left Coast)
@WF, bingo. It’s designed to be a party pad. This is not meant to be a primary residence.
Passion for Peaches (Left Coast)
@WF, also notice that there are huge speakers in the room with the wall-sized television, and that the room is furnished with not only several screening room chairs and a double chaise, but a big bed. Get my drift? What happens in Berlin stays in Berlin.
WF (here and there ⁰)
@Passion for Peaches Thanks for the hugely huge laugh!
Osita (Sea Cliff)
Now I have a headache ...
JC (CA)
Gut job.
Dali Dula (Upstate, NY)
This is certainly fun but I could never live in a place like this. Fine for a visit but would not be relaxing or cozy which is what I like my home to be.
Lee (New York)
To me this is art - I both leaned in and recoiled from these photos. It made me question everything I think about my own decorating style - do I actually like things? or am I just used to variations of basically one aesthetic? The reaction is guttural, as evident from prior comments. I love that the owners did whatever they wanted - how many of us would have the same moxy? After looking at the photos many times, I think I'd take this over a Pottery Barn catalog house any day.
Independent (Voter)
@Lee I agree with you. I am still reeling from the thought of it.
Passion for Peaches (Left Coast)
The 1970s are alive and well in Berlin. It’s positively shagadellic, bay-bay! I can imagine the parties. Who doesn’t dream of owning a 10-person, indoor hot tub? This would be migraine inducing for me, but I am impressed by how the designer managed to overspend on every single inch of the this very loud home. Including the ceilings! Expensive surfaces and fixtures are good for bragging rights, but not exactly tasteful.
Lisa (NYC)
Wow. Just...wow.
JaGuaR (Midwest)
Gaud(y) awful
Independent (Voter)
@JaGuaR Yep. I like the pink room though. I wouldn't want to live there but I like it. The rest of the room, nah.
Nancy (Chicago)
Just looking at the pictures made me nervous. What must it be like in person? Ughh.
Mickela (NYC)
@Nancy If you are really high or drunk it would be fantastic.
Linda Sperling (New York City)
Money doesn't by good taste. This is a train wreck. I would be nauseous living in this apartment. FEH!
CELIE (KingwoodTX)
This will be a tough sell....
Passion for Peaches (Left Coast)
@CELIE, I’m thinking Russian oligarchs...
Greenville Hauser (Manila)
Wrong type of tackiness for Russians.
Hal Kaufman (San Francisco)
Fitting, perhaps for the Trumpian aesthetic. On the other hand, it may be considered understated by followers of RuPaul. It’s just about the most grotesque decor I’ve seen anywhere in decades. What’s missing is moss growing out of the furniture, small lizards hanging from the ceilings by their suction pad toes, and perhaps a few bats - the airborne variety - in the obviously disturbed belfry of the designers.
Rachel Beard (Brooklyn)
That decor is practically seizure-inducing.
Osita (Sea Cliff)
Rachel Beard, hahahaha ....
Juin (San Francisco)
Nauseatingly trumpian. Why did they leave their "masterpiece" after only 2 years?
Jeffrey Waingrow (Sheffield, MA)
My head started to throb from just the pictures. One day in this place and I'd tell you anything you wanted to know.
Amy (Lancaster,PA)
@Jeffrey Waingrow I agree!! I dont mean to be rude/unkind but seriously this house is just too much!
H Silk (Tennessee)
This has got to be the ugliest high end home I've ever looked at. Can't imagine someone paying $2 million for this.
Keith (CT)
Add some ersatz gold trim and kitsch and it would make a perfect summer villa for emperor Trump.
Mary Ann (New York)
@Keith Buy spray-on gold paint, cover all the surfaces with this stuff, add a wall of mirrors to each room, raise the price 10 million dollars, THEN call Trump.
BA (NYC)
Absolutely hideous. Especially given that most people would not be able to live in the home without treatment for chronic migraine. And nobody told the kitchen designer that tile for a countertop is really disgusting. How does one keep all that grout clean?
Mickela (NYC)
@BA Don't cook or eat.
HYP (Austin, TX)
quite understated
Gary (San Francisco)
Unlivable.
scootter1956 (toronto)
oh, i got a headache. only redeeming feature was the white kitchen wall. was there no one there to tell them STOP!!!
Elle Smith (Montreal)
This is just ghastly ...
Gerry Power (Metro Philadelphia)
The pendant light fixture over the kitchen island and in one of the bathrooms appears to be IKEA PS 2014. A curious choice (but this apartment has many curious choices.)
Ed (Washington DC)
The Times here continues what seems to be a tradition of highlighting real estate so far out of the range of even moderately well-off people as to be laughable (and that doesn't even address the laughable decor of this particular apartment). The article does note, en passant, that Berlin is still relatively affordable for a major European capital, with average prices around 8% of the property featured . My son has lived in Berlin on several occasions, loves the place, and I've gone there often to see him and on my own. It remains an amazingly diverse, alive, and exciting place for people of modest means. You'd never know that from this article.
Randy Harris (Calgary AB)
My oh my. The decor is not everyone's taste and I trust that the seller will be offering discounts to cover the significant renovations that will be required.