It works to repeat the same thing over and over. It's a shame, it's a hoax, it's a witch hunt.
One female GOP member said, "There has been no evidence of wrong doing, repeatedly." Seriously??? No evidence from the Ambassadors? From others? Is she crazy? Oh yes. They all are.
The Democrats still say, "There are falsehoods. There are untruths." They are loath to say, over and over, he is lying. He was born a liar. He can't help but lie. Bernie tells it like it is.
The Democratic Representatives need to stand as a group and chant, "They are all lying. They are all lying" over and over until it sets in. In every ad, in every written piece, lead with "They are all lying."
This is not the time for political niceties. Upholding the Constitution, yes. But most Americans know about the Constitution what they see on TV. They have never read, nor will they read it nor do they understand or care about why it's tenets are important as they watch RAW and Real Housewives and drink their favorite brew to wash down their burgers. The Dems are expecting people to understand and care. They are being blind. They will lose. We will all lose and the beloved country as we who are Boomers have known it, with all its warts and faults, will be dead by the time this is over, if it isn't dead now.
14
The good part of this impeachment on radio and tv is that you get to hear the evidence against the President again and again and again. And you also get to hear the fact that the opposition has no evidence to exonerate the President — again and again and again.
Yup. You get to choose: FACTS vs an “OH, POOR ME, THOSE BAD DEMS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN OUT TO GET ME :..(((“. The latter delivered in high dudgeon or, conversely, whining over those mean Dems.
Leave it to the Reps to give the public a “show” every time. Only thing missing is the sad violin chorus.
We get that after the Senate “show trial” when we can all weep for our democratic republic betrayed by one party for a con man.
13
Most excellent.
7
Love it.
“… So hope away, push away, vote away y'all
Next month or next year,
This dude's gonna fall”
12
Brilliant!
4
The Dems they were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of oversight danced in their heads
The man in the White House just didn’t know better
He ranted unhinged in a six page long letter
132
If I could write as well as Bruni, that old lousy bum,
I wouldn't be stuck at home, sucking my thumb.
5
Beautifull Thanks! This man has done enough damage to so many people.
5
A nice poem of temporary value. I do not like poetry on political subjects, such as, for example, practiced by Vladimir Mayakovski before he becamed disillusioned with bolshevism.
Thank you Mr. Bruni for capturing the spirit of Christmas so eloquently. And let's all hope that soon we shall hear Trump say "And to all a (final) good night."
90
Brilliant!
6
When darkness descended in 2016
On the nation whose people were mostly not keen
To embrace the mad tyrant,
he gave us a fright
We feared what he’d do
And lord we were right
He’s much worse than bad, he’s really a horror
He making us feel
Like there’ll be no tomorrer
But we have Ms Nancy, the brave and the fair,
We have to believe the system she’ll repair.
So let us take heart and let us not screech
For the dark lord will fall, well at least get impeach
His senses do leave him, his minions in jail
His mental decline will cause him to fail
And the light will shine brighter on his deeds and his sin
And the next time we vote, we won’t let him back in.
20
And of course as he gathered himself to depart
He paused for a moment, there were treats left on a cart
In went the hamberders, drumsticks and fries
He washed them all down with a bucket of lies
"My, that was tasty but I've not quite got my fill."
"Dessert awaits me on my side of the hill."
12
Clement Moore and Henry Livingston are probably turning over in their graves, as they have for years, but only the more so when they see their poem representing the behavior of an amoral, criminal autocrat. And to all, a good night ....
1
On the Day of Impeachment
and all through The House,
not a Republican was recognizing
the simplest of facts.
11
Just thought you should know Frank, there is no money to be had writing poetry. Nice one, though!
3
Another beautiful piece from Mr Bruni. I can't do poetry, so here's some prose:
Demsocrats are all talk and no action. You don't agree? Explain then the enormous losses they suffered in the midterms of 2010 and 2014. (These elections were free from foreign interference I believe.) You think those weren't important? Then you know a lot less about US politics than I do, and I am a Canadian.
Thanks again for a brilliant piece, Mr Bruni.
Dear Frank
Excellent. Wonderful use of language!
But what an abysmal tale this tells of our democracy.
4
Frank, Your poem may be my best Christmas gift this year. Thank you so much.
10
And let us hope and pray that even his base comes to its senses and following election day 2020 Trump will be gone. And let me add that seeing fellow citizens in the street clamoring for Trump's impeachment left me feeling all is not lost.
8
Dems need to stress that Trump was trying to use TAX PAYER MONEY, NOT his own, to get dirt from a foreign government on a political opponent.
They need to ask: What would happen if President Obama had tried to condition congressional funding from a foreign government to get dirt on Mitt Romney and his family?
Hopefully, this will not turn into a Pyrrhic victory where they win the battle but lose the election war in 2020.
8
Brilliant!
4
Twitter Worthy
Dems need to repeat and drive home....over and over...that he violated the constitution, the highest law in the land.
And every time a GOPer says he did not violate a statute they need to say: The GOP continues to talk about statutes when what he did is far worse than violate a statute. He violated the constitution.
152
@pat
I'm just glad to see Democrats finally giving a rip about the constitution.
Thank you Frank! I read it out loud to myself.
4
Excellent! And a Merry Christmas to you, Mr. Bruni, and all the terrific journalists at the NYT who endeavor to shine a light on the truth — so crucial during these trying times for our democracy.
15
Thank you, Frank! I read it out loud to myself.
1
For their savior, Trump's three wise men are Mulvaney, Pompeo and Bolton.
5
@James Ricciardi Wiseguys maybe?
3
Picture John Malkovich calmly sitting in the SNL Christmas chair reading the poem from a beautifully illustrated book by the Colbert Late Show staff. I would buy the book in heartbeat, wrap it in brightly colored paper and use a grape Kool Aid packet as a gift tag. Then quick as a wink send it off to republican acquaintances.
9
How times have changed. The single most famous newspaper article was written to reassure 8 year old Virginia that indeed there is a Santa Claus. But the paradigm has shifted. Mr. Bruni goes in the exact opposite direction, telling us that the overweight jolly Santa, in his costume of red, is a fraud. That's great for half. But I believe Virginia was a Republican and she is now sadly sobbing.
Ah, democracy and truth will prevail as long as we have insightful minds like Frank Bruni's.
Last night I attended our local Impeachment Rally in bad raw weather, on the sidewalk in front of Steve Scalise's office, wondering if our relatively small numbers standing witness with signs and chants will make a difference.
Most Republicans are like the awful Scalise, showing no ability to think other than repeating trite party talking points in defense of an idiot. But we are right to stand out in the cold, and I know we will defeat Trumpism.
14
BRILLIANT!! Than you Mr. Bruni.
Christmas 2019. Let us rejoice in the gift of impeachment. It is a forever gift.
While Republicans rally around corruption, Democrats rally around our republic.
Republicans have already decided to acquit the president for his blatantly obvious crimes against our Constitution and national security. They believe the American people are too stupid to follow the facts. They will acquit the criminal but they cannot unring the criminal bell which hangs around his neck and which will forever toll loud and clear: Donald J. Trump Most Unfit and Criminal President in US History.
8
Brilliant, Frank! You have woven events and people into your poetry seamlessly- superb work! Simple and clear.
5
Bravo!
I wish I'd the talent to craft such fine verse,
I'd give it a try, but results would be worse.
Let's leave it to Bruni to bring us good cheer,
Bring on the impeachment! And Happy New Year!
13
Nicely crafted! Am buoyed by the articulate courage of the Democratic leaders. We have suffered demagogues before, and while the damage is ever lasting, the struggle to restore rational discourse is proof of the resilience of our great Democracy.
5
BRILLIANT - truly sorrowful that our democracy has been overshadowed by this darkness and Bruni’s piece needed to see the light of day
6
Gee. Clever. Just what we need.
3
It should be read into the House and Senate records, for posterity. An appropriate balance to Trump’s deranged 6 pages of attacks, insults, and lies.
7
Bravo, Sir. Although the truths that underlie these stanzas are all too true, it is nonetheless important to maintain levity during these trying times.
6
“And we couldn’t stop looking — not his fans, not his foes.
That was what he was after: the show of all shows.”
These lines, in a nutshell, capture Trump to a “T” (no pun intended).
Just think how it might be if we did stop looking and listening. He would be deprived of his most vital element, the oxygen he gasps for 24/7, otherwise known as attention.
So maybe, just maybe, we could do that, stop looking and listening. For my part I’m trying to employ an acronym to remind me to stop; TYBOT, Turn Your Back On Trump.
Good luck fellow citizens!
9
Merry Impeachment to you, too! Thanks for a few laughs in your truth put to verse.
8
Soviet union party faithful read "Pravda."
GOP party faithful list to "Fox News."
Two party propaganda news sources.
Cold War called stories in Pravda that painted roses pictures about Soviet Union "propaganda."
Fox News does not have state to fund it, consumer just write letters to advertiser and avoid merade of brands (best one can). Fox News runs on cash and demographic change eats into cash Fox News needs.
3
Oh, thank you!
Your summaries, however delivered, are truth.
7
I forgive you the few metric errors - thank you Frank. Merry Christmas to all, and to all (if such a thing is still possible in the tRump era) a good night.
7
Lovely. Thank you. I'm reminded of the Chaucerian parody poem about Congressional testimony from Haldeman and Erlichmann. It was printed in the New York Times, but I can't locate it. I do, however, remember these lines:
The Erlichman explain the word "covert."
He look like he eat babies for dessert.
Mr. Bruni, we salute you.
6
See the Amazing Trump-man:
a 13 year old mean-girl trapped in the body of a 73 year-old man!
Never before seen: the New Republican!
It’s barnum and bailey: The Greatest Show on Earth:
With old republican “values” shown arrayed in such dearth.
7
Whether removal or whether election
Trump's corruption will cause his ejection.
His bribe and extortion scheme on the Ukraine
Will one way or another be the demise of his reign.
Shed no tears for Donald J Trump
A heartless, immoral, insufferable grump.
10
Congrats on a great poem. Perfect for the day of impeachment!!
7
When verse is all we have left . . . sighhhh.
Frank, if you are looking for yet more deserving subject matter, McConnell and Graham await.
7
I laughed 'til I cried.
6
Bravo!
7
Brilliant and made my day! Opinion columnists like Mr. Bruni are the reason I keep subscribing to the NY Times.
9
Amen.
6
Your editorials are a joy to read, even when what you’re writing about is tragic and terrifying. Donald Trump is the lump of coal in America’s — no, make that the world’s Christmas stocking.
277
@Fransi weinstein Only a lump?
4
@EKB Fransi Weinstein thanks for acknowledging how ridiculous and terrifying the state of the USA and its President is the rest of the world. it is keeping us up at night too. We see our own politicians on the right using Trump and his spinners tactics. It is coming to our homes next. In the meantime our populations are buying into the old economics of the right...no social investment and balanced budgets despite how desperately we all need governments to invest in people and fix the capitalist model to create good and sustained employment.
Waving from Canada and sending good wishes.
19
This masterful writing is a much-needed antidote to the insipid, juvenile, pathetic letter Trump wrote to Pelosi whining about impeachment.
198
@NM Yes, I am placing this in my "saved for later" NY Times section. It is a keeper, indeed. Thanx, Frank!
16
what a joy!!!!
thank you, Bruni!!!
send in the clowns!!!!
6
@NM And to his picking a tweet fight with a 16 year old girl from Finland.
2
It beautifully rhymes,
describing the crimes;
of dishonest trump
as he sits on his rump,
and his sycophants too,
who need to turn blue
but insist upon red
like his tie and his head.
OH, how can it be
that dump's fantasy
needs a crown and throne
in the land of the free???
13
Ugh. Making fun of the president's physical appearance in this way, you are sinking just as low as he does, and normalizing this kind of schoolyard sneering.
Unfunny. Shame on you.
Making fun of appearance??!! The disabled reporter, Megan Kelly bleeding from her whatever, Rosie, Pelosi’s teeth, women he could not have sexually assaulted because they were not attractive enough? Geez ... that’s up there with Melania’s anti bullying campaign for sheer blindness to who this despicable man is.
15
Please, it’s bad enough when commentators write in verse, but this is just dumb and doesn’t advance the understanding of anything.
1
Hey NYT - Where is your coverage of the impeachment rallies that took place nationwide last night? WaPo has theirs on the front page. With photos and videos. That's a big fail on you.
4
Thank's Frank.
1
Bravo!
2
Bravo!!!
2
Did you have to post that photo of Trump? You are going to frighten the children.
11
Time to go back and take a look at Nostradomus.
1
Three thumbs up!
But "cycled through villains in a furious jiff?" Pleeze!
1
Frank, this is great! A little joy this time of year amid the nonsense is always welcome.
Don't forget about Rudolph The Red-Nosed Racketeer in your next ditty.
4
Well-done, Frank Bruni!
Impeachment of Narcissistic Don...Perhaps one of the best holiday gifts we could ask for!
3
Brilliant!!
2
BRILLIANT!
3
Inspired.
2
Trumpty Dumpty sat on his wall
Trumpty Dumpty had a great fall
All of his lawyers and all of his men
Couldn’t keep Trumpty out of the “Pen”.
13
Frank, simply put, your best.
5
Brilliant!!
Reminds me of similar parody that was written during the Watergate scandals.
It started out with "twas the night before Watergate....".
I don't remember who wrote it. It might have been on the Tonight show .
I used it for a project in my high school American history class.
What a hoot!
63
It's opinions like Frank’s in The New York Times
That reminds that prose isn’t always easy to find.
Yet I rejoiced without a single moment of appall
How you captured the spirit of the late Art Buchwald.
In my own toasts on the eve of a family affair
Have used “the night before” as bridge to declare.
The power of rhyme often did tickle toes
To those who would listen to my relentless prose.
T'was the night before merry, mayhem or mirth
Is a great way to start a critical verse.
So in the pursuit of New York Time’s brevity
I thank you Frank Bruni for your inspiration and levity.
5
Bravo, Frank! We'll all wait filled with suspense until the gavel slams down on today's hearing and the players retire for another day. His gall, thrashing, howls of dejection alongside the familiar smirk is all too evocative of Scrooge and other miscreants of past. Please consider our plea for a continued republic of dreams that a country can survive such a grifter and rectify this journey into the reefs and rocks of the journey with Donald to safer harbors.
2
Trump's letter responding to Pelosi has been described as, "angry and rambling." Now, it is one thing if Trump's response was an impromptu one given in front of cameras; it is quite another thing if a" savvy", practiced politician makes it in writing.
This is a classic sign of some sort of mental instability. Consider, "angry" might be understandable, but *also* "rambling"? Are Republican representatives smart enough to discern it, or will they merely look the other way in desperate denial?
2
This article might be funny ... if the reality of Trump's unprecedented assault on the Constitution & the rule of law were not such a serious danger to the very fabric of our democracy.
Trump is nothing more than two bit pseudo celebrity whose major claims to fame are multiple bankruptcies & a stint on a reality TV show. Woefully unprepared for the job of POTUS, Trump behaves as if running the country is just another reality TV program. He'd rather be entertaining than actually fulfill the awesome responsibilities of being POTUS.
Telling over 13,000 lies is just part of Trump being Trump. I will happily join you in laughing at him as soon as he has been dispatched to oblivion & seeks asylum in Russia to avoid prosecution for his multiple crimes.
2
As the NYT recently discovered when readers were asked to submit letters to the editor in verse form, tapping into a rich vein of poetic expression can lead to a mother lode of truth. (See the Shakespearean masterpiece - a riff on Macbeth - written by Mike Sapic for the NYT, for example.)
As Shakespeare knew, poetry can be just as incisive - if not more cutting and eloquent - than prose. Revealing rank deeds and rot in society requires any and all genres and forms of expression.
Pretty sure I've said this before, but Frank Bruni is a national treasure - and this piece leaves no doubt.
3
Brilliant, bravo and truly amazing Frank Bruni.
Your verse is inspiring abut a man who'd ruin me.
The nation stands divided and that's very sad.
That Trump gets impeached makes me so glad.
Though the Republicans will likely let him off the hook,
We all know for certain that he's a mean-spirited crook.
So let us all together at this dark hour not despair,
but fight for the Constitution and all that is fair.
6
This is an exercise of futile literary effect.
You should rather construct causality than make poetry about vulgarity ( it rhymes... )
English and Americans love public declamation.
In France we defend ourselves against the indulgence of a self listening mystique.
There was no prose in verse in English before the Canterbury tales of Chaucer (from the French " chausseur " -maker of pants ).
He got inspired by Le Roman de la Rose (octosyllabic -1230 ), the medieval French poem of Love . Guillaume de Lorris inspired himself by Ovid's Art of Love.
Even Shakespeare used the French syntax to create a poetic movement .There is a famous book about that .
@JPH Wow. THAT is funny stuff. We're more along the line of Humpty Trumpty on this thread. Please don't go caroling this year, if you're going to lecture everyone about the inaccurate indulgence of our self-listening mystique. It's way too cold to stand around as you sneer about the futile literary effect used in "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"! OK, that was sarcasm. I'll be good Santa! Sorry for the snarky attitude!
2
@deb There are no Christmas carols in France .
Nobody standing in the street in ridiculously fake 19 th century prudish attire singing to the fog .
And waiting for falling dimes .
It is a British tradition.
There are quality concerts and children and adults choirs though .
Our songs are not about "God " but more about earthly living creatures.
Oldest French Christmas song from 14/ 15 th century .
Entre le bœuf et l'âne gris
Dort, dort, dort le petit fils
Refrain :
Mille anges divins
Mille séraphins
Volent à l'entour
De ce grand Dieu d'amour
Entre les pastoureaux jolis
Dort, dort, dort le petit fils
Entre les roses et les lys
Dort, dort, dort le petit fils
Entre les deux bras de Marie
Dort, dort, dort le petit fils
Mr Bruni
That is funny and terrifying.
Ruth Bader Ginsberg was interviewed on BBC and when questioned about the Republicans response to a possible Impeachment her response was (paraphrasing)
The Senate is supposed to be impartial as are Judges, the moment a Judge decrees for their home team they should be dismissed. The Senators are supposed to be impartial not following company lines.
This was after the Republicans stated they were in step with the White House Legal Team.
Of course today the most victimized person in the world is again Mr Trump clearly stated in a 6 page letter to Ms Pelosi.
I have been watching the Inquiries and find the Republicans behaviors are a disgrace. The Democrats seem to be trying to prove their points clearly and logically.
I guess the Republicans have abandoned our Constitution.
Just an old white man's opinion.
10
This would be very amusing if it didn’t have so much bothersome reality in it.
2
Magnificent and nerve wracking at the same time.
4
Normally I love this column but I wish I had not read this. I don’t find much humor in this topic. I think he SHOULD be impeached but it’s still a stain on all Americans that this guy was ever elected. So many mistakes were made by both Dems & Republicans and we just watched it unfold and did nothing. Shame on all of us. We should put Country before Politics every single day, not just today.
Oh Happy Day! It's Christmas morning.The gift is under the tree. You don't always get all you want but we'll get something we need.
1
When I saw the title, I thought it was Gail Collins. How delightful to discover that the author is Frank Bruni. We're going to need a lot more of this if Trump "wins" again. This is the best corrective yet for our sad state of affairs.
First time in years I giggled and smiled as a read the news.
Then I awoke from my delusional snooze.
Seeing my country besieged.
I looked for the door with my keys.
Thank you, Mr. Bruni!
clearly insightful, and would be funny if the whole situation were not so utterly sad.
Mr. Bruni was inspired by Trump's evil ways
To write poetry describing these tragic days
I doubt it will inspire republican reflections
Since above all they covet wining elections
May his wit inspire more Democrats to vote
If not we’ll be saying that’s all she wrote
6
You're a gem, Mr. Bruni. Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night.
1
For some reason, the name Larry Eisenberg popped from somewhere in the back of my mind. I often wonder what he as well as my mother and father, all dead now would have thought.
1
Oh look,
The Democrats wish for xmass, is the election results of 2016 voided, the democratically elected president removed as well.
Why vote if the Democrats will work tirelessly to void the results of a free election.
@AutumnLeaf
Oh brother. I am a liberal Democrat, a follower of Jesus, member of a military family and a proud citizen of my secular republic. I respect my nation's founding and the strict separation of church/state that has protected us all from forced sectarian preference.
I don't get triggered when someone wishes me happy holidays because it's happy, and there are holidays! Your resentment is a choice.
Too funny: "Democrats wish for xmass". Every year, republicans whip up this nonsense, and it seems to find a willing ear in some. I really had no problem finding Christian religious stuff in Walmart or Amazon or people's house decorations or anywhere. NO ONE grabs anyone and yells "XMASS, SAY IT!" You really need to stop this uncharitable, divisive stuff.
Smearing entire swaths of your neighbors as 'wishing for evil' is completely anti-Christ. Read again about the Good Samaritan; the equivalent of an illegal immigrant in today's world.
“Want to keep Christ in Christmas? Feed the hungry, clothe the naked, forgive the guilty, welcome the unwanted, care for the ill, love your enemies, and do unto others as you would have done unto you.”
― Steve Maraboli
6
Oh my God.....you made my day!! Absolutely brilliant.
3
Only impeachment that will stick is impeachment for treason. GOP still feasting on Russian millions fed through NRA and McConnell. Yesterday's letter was a Stephen Miller gem designed to rally the poorly informed and fascist elements in the the GOP . Unless and until Rudy testifies or is indicted, the current impeachment articles will be used by GOP to get Trump reelected. Putin has succeeded in dividing the country and neutralizing any threats from US or NATO while crippling Ukraine in many ways.
"All roads lead to Putin" and you will never know it from current articles.
2
So perfectly written. Please have Randy Rainbow put it to music !!!
4
I was a Democrat in the Army on June 17 1972. My commander in chief's crew was entering my presidential candidate's campaign headquarters at the Watergate. They were trying to undermine an election without regard to Democrats serving the country. He covered up, fired the special prosecutor. He was impeached.
Who says there are no Democrats in the military now.
1
Wonderful, Frank!!! You have absolutely outdone yourself!
4
I love Frank Bruno’s impeachment poem. It couldn’t be more appropriate.
3
Trump in 2020. I am taking bets!
Impressive, and scary.
1
I support impeachment completely, but I'm having a hard time laughing today. ALL Republicans and too many Americans have been poisoned by the kool-aid, and having to impeach a president for obvious high crimes and misdemeanors that so many would just ignore breaks my heart. I am so sad for my country, I actually cry.
3
Well done Mr. Bruni, you of the golden quill!
4
Excellent! Though I was surprised that your command of rhythm and cadence not as strong as your command of language. For example, “Or else I will join poor Paul in the jail.” Really?
His fingers are really short and stubby.
1
Bravo. We are forced to watch a horror movie starring a B-rated (at best) TV personality. This was made inevitable when McCain chose Sarah Palin and his party decided winning was everything.
2
He made fun of her teeth
Denigrated her speech
Twas she that had the last word
...and it was impeach!
4
Depressing, but thank you for the rhyme: Hannity and insanity.
1
Twas the night before voting, the airwaves are bust,
The downfall of Trump is a teetering must,
Voters heroic thru polling travails,
Suppression, rigging, fraud and assails.
Cyberwar, fake video, memes and malware,
Vile hyperpartisan - no one cares.
Indictments abound - Guiliani, Barr and more,
Republicans degrade, smear, cheat galore.
Hurricane Melania razes Mar-a-Lago,
Trump shrieks helpless, "Whoa my dough"!
Gen Z - X - Millennials storm the polls,
Save our future, down with the trolls.
"Put country above party" true citizens sing,
Our children deserve joy in full swing.
Democracy, Constitution all prevail,
DJT and R's awaken in jail.
3
Terrific Mr. Bruni. Love it.
2
Well done, but whistling past the graveyard won’t get it done. Gallows humor indeed.
Donald Trump is a grump
With a mouth as foul as a garbage dump
He has trampled the Constitution
But there is a solution
It's not to impeach
That's too much of a reach
It's the 2020 election
Which will result in Donald's ejection
Beautifully done.
1
I read your column religiously, but I must say, this is one of your most brilliant.
2
I could not craft so I borrowed:
Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall
(Proverbs)
or to his last line:
Better to rule in hell
Than to serve in heaven
(Milton)
Well done, although you forgot Rudy the Red Nose attorney. Probably impossible to find a line to rhyme.
1
Cute but silly and misguided. You're part of the chorus of Trump is ruining democracy when it is the dems refusal to accept the 2016 election results, their continued assault on our institutions, the disappearance of honest journalism (i.e., an objective responsible MSM, not this constant blaring of anti-Trump dogma day in and day out by the Times for example).
The Mueller Report was not as expected...Democrats were sad and totally dejected....But good news was coming, it was all so clear.....And suddenly Dems were happy and full of good cheer...Something about Ukraine, which we don't understand...But impeachment is coming, isn't that grand?...Facts can be twisted until guilt seems certain...,Hopefully the Senate will bring down the curtain.
231
@Aaron Adams Did the Mueller report exonerate the President? The first line stated the Russians hacked our elections. Does this bother you?
45
@Aaron Adams -- It doesn't matter how much you spin, on top of it all, trump is guilty as sin.
85
@Aaron Adams What facts have been “ twisted” ?
Not only do I understand what happened as regards Trump and his dealings with Ukraine, we have a transcript and your hero has admitted the facts.
47
Frank, I have often admired your prose and your gift for the memorable phrase, but if I may judge from this sample, satirical verse is not your forte. When these lines aren't dully metronomic, they are so surfeited with extra syllables as to obscure the meter entirely. And rather than play a conversational voice off against a formal meter, they force the voice to conform to the meter. If you're intending to write more columns of this kind, you might have a look at Jonathan Swift's "Verses on the Death of Dr. Swift," a scathing political satire cast in rhymed tetrameters. It exemplifies the virtues of Swift's prose in combination with his skill as a writer of verse.
A masterpiece. One for this age and for the ages.
5
Great ideas for a Christmas card, adorned with long red tie, imprinted with hammer and sickle.
5
Thank you, Frank Bruni. A perfect column. May your own holidays be warm and happy so you can continue to be so wise and talented!
13
This is brilliant and will go down in history. Pundits will quote it at Christmas after the 2024 election of President Trump.
6
@patricia Seeing all those protests right across the US of A calling for POTUS's impeachment in 2019 somehow makes your cynical quip even less likely than its unreal 3rd term implications...
We can but hope, that as ever, America will finally do the right things - after exhausting all other nefarious options.
1
Awesome!! Clement Clarke Moore who was the attributed author of the poem would be proud of the updated version.
6
What an amazing, brilliant summary of these recent impeachment events, Frank Bruni! You are an incredible writer, whether in prose or verse, and I thank you for all of your columns that so thoroughly articulate the awful situation our country finds itself in. You certainly speak for me.
11
What is most alarming is how much more unhinged, more unstable, more erratic Trump is sounding.
Rather than the Dems rushing to an impeachment vote (worried they'll have to work through holiday break), they should have had Trump's sanity examined. A mentally ill President is just as dangerous as a corrupt one.
5
@Gus From his increasingly deranged utterings, it certainly seems time to invoke the 25th Amendment - the more perplexing question is - what does that say about the Republican Congress?
1
Merry Christmas, Mr. Bruni. You outdid yourself with this one!
20
The liar, bully, braggart, traitor, misogynist, thief
Somehow became the commander-in-chief.
Fake as he was, finally, some people saw through
And saw that more honor and love was what they should do.
So, goodbye to the sheen of greed's affectation
And hello, the hopeful, helpful, more perfect nation.
18
Of Trump I am tired.
But this is inspired.
28
I will gladly illustrate this book for you. Perhaps we can start a decency fund for those who have sold thier souls.
14
Excellent!
3
"...and I long for the day that he flies out of sight,
saying 'You dumped me, you fools,
but I know I was right.'"
12
Well done, Mr. Bruni!!!
4
Brilliant piece Frank !
The king of lies needs to be gone to make him a onetime President, this man is poluting to world with his low life gutter vocabulary and has no remorse.
The end will not be pleasant, his brain is a mess, and trump is already preparing for his 2024 run.
This lawless Country needs to be back to what it was.
Impeace this gutter snipe.
3
'Twas the eve of impeachment
And all through the House
The Republicans were desperately protecting the louse
The Democrats proclaimed the louse had been caught
But McConnell assured us it would all be for naught
So Trump gets his wish to be above the law
And that should stick in everyone's craw
But take heart as next November draws near
We'll celebrate Biden kicking Trump's rear
15
Pinning your presidential hopes on Joe Biden shows how pathetically weak your party has become!
1
Well done.
4
Brilliant, as usual, Frank.
4
Wow!
Cried with you, Frank.
2
Lame college exercise.
1
This poem reminded me of Larry Eisenberg who died this time last year. He used to frequently post witty limericks in the NYT comment section.
9
Good one!
4
Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through our House.
A creature was stirring,
Much worse than a mouse.
With a burger and remote,
Worked into a lather.
His brain was aTwitter,
With Fox News blather.
With furious plucking,
He unleashed a screed.
Round the nation it dashed,
For his base to read.
On Rudy, on Sean,
On Laura and Tucker.
Deliver your spin,
To each rube and sucker.
Honesty? Decency?
Surely you jest!
Winning is all!!!
Only fools will Be Best.
31
Very, very clever.
3
I love you, Frank!!
4
Frank, thank you!
2
Brilliant!
3
Happy Holidays to you, too...
Bravo, Mr. Bruni.
3
Oh come let us abhor him...
17
Dear Frank, that was brilliant! You are just the person to write new words to these updated GOP Christmas carols/songs-
“Once in Royal Donald’s City”
“While Brokers Watched Their Stocks by Night”
“Away in a Merger”
“Carol of the Swells”
“Bankers We Have Heard on High”
“Baby It’s Hot Outside”
-and of course Trump’s favorite “Vladimir is Coming to Town”
14
Please Santa Claus can you work some of your magic this holiday season, casting morals and ethics upon Leader Grinch and his gang of bad elves before they wipe out this fragile democracy, not to mention the roast beast?!?
4
Could a Pulitzer be in your Christmas Stocking next year? Congratulations Frank, you have outdone yourself.
4
"But that was obscured by the smoke that he blew"!
You got some good lines in there, Bruni!
3
Agreed, but lacked clarity as to which end of the burger stoked smoke machine did belch said vile fog.
‘A’ for effort nevertheless.
1
Thank you Mr. Bruni for the new classic poem. It made me smiled in this dark time.
3
Things always get a lot worse before it can get better. I'm afraid we haven't hit rock bottom yet.
2
Having fun?
One thing we know about politics is that worms turn. If you like this, you won't like what comes next.
1
Great minds. An abridged version of what we read at our impeachment eve rally tonight in South Orange, NJ:
“’Twas the night before Impeachment, when all through the House,
All the Democrats were stirring to get rid of that louse.
The diplomats testified to all that they saw,
Upholding our system, of due process of law.
Yovanovitch, Vindman, Taylor, and Kent
Told the world the truth about our president.
And how ‘bout that patriot, Fiona Hill?
With that beautiful accent, going in for the kill.
Trump tweeted; he tried to tamper with witnesses
Which only confirmed his blatant unfitnesses.
“I’m safe in the White House. I can still obstruct justice.
I’ll beat this impeachment, Pelosi can’t bust us.”
“So I’m not at all worried. I have no concerns…
Except for that matter of my tax returns."
14
❤️❤️❤️
Frank, you give us in the rest of the world hope that a once great republic can survive this.
Just one question, when will you take to the streets?
2
We sit at your feet, awed by your insight, wit and that elegant mind, housing an uncanny ability to distill the chaos and, somehow, in the depths of despair, hanging on by our fingertips - remind us that we can still smile. Somehow, this helps me to steal myself for a new day in hell.
3
Priceless!
1
Fabulous Thank you
Not so funny... mocking a sitting president no matter how much you disrespect him. What is worse, I feel mocked; not as lucky or highly educated as you, a privileged journalist writing a political opinion when food or education should be your topic.
1
@Connie Pelliccio Well, Connie, what was your opinion of the mocking of Obama and his family? The congressman who called Obama a liar?
1
@Connie Pelliccio,
The president is neither god nor king.
In a republic - in any true democracy - citizens are free to voice their opinions and protest in a way befitting their talents and the occasion.
Trump is the mocker-in-chief, with unsubtle, unfunny, and unsettling insults hurled daily at people far more respectful and honourable than him (see his latest swipes at Greta Thunberg - what adult male would do this to a teen girl?). It is entirely appropriate that those best able call out his - even mock - his cruelty.
And just because Mr. Bruni was a fine restaurant critic years ago doesn't mean his talents should be relegated or restricted to food, or any other topic. Op-ed columnists are paid to write about politics. Yeesh...
Brilliant, Genius, Witty ...... and beyond heartbreaking!!! BAH TRUMPBUG....
1
Incredible!
1
I think that I shall never see,
a man as foul as DJT.
8
You drew me in to suffer each letter.
Heaven knows, I think I feel better.
3
So its off to the Senate
Where Mitch will cry
I have the power
The power to deny
Deny the power
The power to the people to here
To here the truth of the lie
The lie of a perfect call
A call to fix the election to come
Fix this mess and hang hime now
For now is the time
The time to be Brave
Brave to be an American
The brave who believe in truth to power
The brave who believe in the Constitution
Loved your verse about the Trump curse!
2
Never has there been a president more deserving of derision,
Or, headed with light-speed and laser-focused precision,
To the bowels of a welcoming and newly purchased prison.
2
On November the Third, we voters await.
And with us rests the future, the outcome, our fate.
5
This is pure gold.
4
Reading this made me laugh ... and cry.
2
Wow, spectacular!! Very apt, perfect summary of the disaster that is this president and the GOP; funny and sad all at the same time. Great job!
2
Aim for the reputation. Truth unites. Trump divides. God loves you. Trump does not.
Well Done Mr. Bruin!
1
This is a witch hunt and the Dems will pay for it dearly come election day. Dems have a way of blaming others for abuses they themselves do first. Steele Dossier=Russia collusion, Hunter Biden=quid pro quo? This is a sham.
OK... now the pundits admit impeachment is just a joke. Are you sure this is the best strategy?
Great, but an opportunity missed in the last line. That should have been. “TrumpMess”.
Frightening but true
Sad days ahead for our country
Simply brilliant! Thank you so much!
1
One can only imagine the two words I use that rhyme with "witch hunt" to describe the Orange One and his (often assisted) rantings. One can also easily imagine Stephen Miller attending a Halloween party dressed as Adolf Eichmann, from whom he appears "separated at birth." Check out the photos for yourself.
2
Thank you, That was brilliant !!
So brilliant Frank Bruni, and so very very funny and sad.
Okay, Frank! You win the Opinion Column this week!
I needed this. Sometimes you just have to laugh at this comedy of human errors.
3
As the country before the wild administering does cry,
Still pause and look to the Christmas star in the sky.
Exclaim through the White darkness, all Americans might,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.”
Thanks for the smile,
The break from his corruption
I only wish it provided
A permanent disruption
Instead we must deal with
theatrics and mettle
Journalists, protestors
Seek truth but settle
On a government split
Good versus evil
Russian cyberwars
Creating such upheaval
But perhaps, just perhaps
From our midst will appear
A whistleblower hero
Who will make McConnell disappear
Mitch’s greed, his hypocrisy
That laugh, that treason
Putin and his oligarchs
No longer have a reason
To build that factory
Or pay him his ruples
Because, like him,
They have no scruples
2
If there’s any consolation to all this mess, Trump will carry his Impeachment like a lead ball and chain attached to his leg for the rest of his life. Nothing will free him from his psychological Elba.
3
Brilliant gallows humor. I'm going to sleep now, but wake me come November next, 'cause I gotta vote. And I can hardly wait.
2
Genius. Deserves the Pulitzer Prize.
As Juliana Jones said--"Keep writing in verse/If the new year will beckon and yell loud w/hope/Please wake up now voters and all of you VOTE!!!!"
2
Nice work Mr. Bruni', just in time for the holidays when we can have a nog and cry for our country.
1
Well done Frank! Well done.
2
Bravo!
2
Parody-ing while Rome burns. The piece is glib and indulgent. If Mr. Bruni would not read this aloud in a border detention center, he shouldn't write it.
"I’m the king of this hell."
An apt summary was never before written
To all his tribe who had been bitten.
2
Bravo!
Bravo!!!
Hannity / insanity
Perfect.
Marvelous! I woke up and actually smiled at what I found in the Times. An unusual experience these days. Thank you Frank!
2
Bravo.
1
Ah, Frank, you imp. Cute.
God bless you Mr Bruni ..
Good doggerel.
But Ross Douthat’s column, and Maureen Dowd’s of Sunday, paint the better 360-degree views.
This is not a pretty picture in our country who see ourselves as enlightened, as Christian. There is a level of humanity that has gone astray when those in need of basic human rights -- to food, to shelter, to work and receive a living wage -- become the enemy.
Competition fuels a false sense of right. "I paid for it," " I won it fair and square." I fought for it and won" are unacceptable reasons for controlling the resources that other people need to live.
3
very good, enjoyed it. It’s poignant, because it is accurate but also captures the absurdity and in some ways comical state we’re in. Our country is in an extremely serious state but we’re not; hard to put my finger in it.
2
I say Bravo! to the wordplay. Too bad it’s our reality you’re describing with such clever turns of phrase.
3
Could someone tell me the role of Chief Justice Roberts in this whole affair. When mcconnell and graham admit to not being impartial juror, although they will take an oath to be an impartial juror, what does Roberts have to say about that?
He’s got to do more than just twiddle his thumbs.
6
With apologies to EAP:
As I sit here simply thinking not of coffee that I'm drinking;
But of a Congress meekly going, toward an action deeply moving;
To further drive us toward an ending with parties warring and tempers flaring;
I hear the other body stirring, declaring fealty while demurring;
To a faux leader whose lies will lead us ever close to Putin's door;
Led by a turtle, carapace intact, his judgment booming from shore to shore;
Quoth the Senate--"Nevermore!"
3
Very imaginative and creative, Mr. Bruni.
You should teach Poetry writing over at SUNY.
As for my Friend Sean Hannity
He showed the height of Insanity,
When he said the Report of the General Inspector
He always did to Democrats was to Hector.
But then Mother Jones
Said the tap on the Phones
Did not exist, it was never born
In the article by David Corn.
When will this End,
When we can say the Other side
Is My Friend?
When as Abe Lincoln said
The Better Angels in our head,
Maybe with some Libation,
Can work to Re-Bind us together as a Nation?
1
Brilliant and sad. Now really am mad.
2
The ghost of Christmas present, Donald.
Thank you Frank, for this dose of holiday cheer.
1
This is brilliant! Thanks for this verse
We can all agree - he is such a curse.
America is strong. The constitution will hold
Citizens unite - citizens be bold!
On this Impeachment Day
Let’s Rejoice! Somehow, Someway.
1
Wow Frank, that was beautiful. And what a way to put a final word on this chapter at least. Thank you for your writing. And let's at least hope for a better outcome next year.
2
Mr. Bruni, you cleverly rhyme!
Though I doubt we’ll see justice this time.
While the hearings did rivet,
Still the Senate will pivot.
Letting Trump get away with his crime.
I knew on Election night it would be bad. But never, in my wildest dreams, did I imagine it would be this bad.
5
Yes, it would all be so funny (both ha-ha and strange) if it weren't so tragic. We must save our country from this Trump/ Republican horror.
1
Kudos Mr. Bruni!
I never miss you column, and this is a wonderful, perfect take on the Classic. Thank you so much for your very, very clever humor, and wordsmithery (a Trumpism, I’m sure). Even through the gritted teeth, your love for our country is evident. I will think of this over the next few hours, days and beyond, and hope that somehow, we were wrong, and he will be impeached (if not him, whom?!?!).
Happiest of Holidays to You and Yours.
1
Sad.
We enjoy the very best lives in the history of the world.
And we waste our short time on earth bellyaching.
Stop it.
Play fair. Work hard. Hug your children.
Trump's advice to the young lady who appeared on Time magazine's cover went something like this:
"You need to work on you anger management issues. Relax and go with a friend to the movies."
I laughed out loud when someone remarked that this advice should apply to Trump, after his scathing letter to Speaker Pelosi.
I don't know if Trump has a friend to accompany him to the cinema. Pence ... maybe?
3
I wonder if Mr Bruni would give permission to put this piece into the "Twitterverse" where Trump's followers might see it. It would not change their opinions but might raise some blood pressures into the 'red zone'.
1
Bravo Bravo Bravo Frank! So entertaining and clever. And so very very sad.....
1
Truly fabulous! This is far from lighthearted, in response to one reader. It is cynicism to the max...and a perfect reflection of the acts of republicans. Just behave as though this was a ordinary event and you can sleaze on by...
3
Stunning! Brilliant! I laughed and laughed, and we all sure need a laugh right now.
The House impeachment will live in the annals of history.
The Senate acquittal will live in the annals of infamy.
Bruni's verse will live in the annals of poetry.
2
I'm hearing Boris Karloff narrating as I read...
1
He spent a lifetime building a brand and it has taken less than three years for him to destroy it.
Forevermore, Trump = Impeachment.
Congratulations, Donald, you're impeached!
2
Well, Mr. Bruni, a poet you're not.
Still, I must say, I enjoyed it a lot.
2
So good
Frank Bruni is a dependable. Voice in these days of democracy grief
Thank you
1
This is why the voters gave Democrats a House majority.
All they want for Christmas is Trump impeached.
1
Lewis Carroll couldn't do better. And America is definitely in a political 'Alice in Wonderland.'
I first read Alice when I was 7. And reread it for years when I needed humorous fantasy.
I couldn't foresee how crazy and unreal our politics would ever become. 'Mad as a hatter' applies.
Can we wake up from this and get back to reality?
Some apt quotes:
“Curiouser and curiouser!”
"“Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”
“But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked. "Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "we're all mad here.
1
What is a country when principle is involved?
many thanks! brilliant. making copies for family asap
1
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I guess both.
1
“And I in my kerchief and Ma in her cap
Settled down to take a long winter’s nap.”
Oh wait, no. Not a nap! A nightmare!
1
Fabulous!
1
We may not be able to get the Senate to do their job, but perhaps with enough mockery, something will get him riled up enough to choke to death on his late night snack or raise his blood pressure enough to have a stroke.
1
This is great, Frank. I just cannot laugh anymore.
Merry Christmas to you!
1
A new classic Christmas tale. Thanks, Frank!
1
Good job, Frank. So it is possible to smile at something that hurts so much.
2
Well, move over, Clement Clarke Moore, we have an up-dated version of your famous poem that is sure to be a hit with Never-Trumpers, like me! Applause, applause, Mr. Bruni, you've done it again. Another masterpiece. On a more serious note, let's hope and pray (although I'm told the President doesn't like our prayers - I heard he wrote that he didn't like those prayers being offered up by Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, and I, for one, believe her sincerity) that this country will get the Christmas gift it so richly deserves - the impeachment and removal of Donald J. Trump from the Oval Office. I'm rather skeptical that it will happen, but hope springs eternal, or so they say. Merry Christmas, Frank Bruni - I will cherish this poem as part of history, though a dark political history it has been thus far.
6
Brilliant, witty and wise. I will print out and save for whomever is left after our poor country is decimated by those who do not or will not protect it.
Thanks to you, Frank. A Christmas poem for the ages.
5
Freud wondered why mankind need humor. Was a laugh a restrained scream? Was a grin a softened grimace? Was humor, that is, violence's substitute?
Fellini did a series on the history of clowns for Italian tv decades ago. He concluded that the white-faced, grinning clown was a parody of physical decay, a comic corpse. It scared off the scariest thing.
Bruni continues the tradition of whistling past the graveyard. It is as old as mankind's deepest fears and threat - the loss of all that is too good to lose but must be lost. Religion begins our search for answers to death and comedy, beginning with the Greek satyr plays, brings horror on stage. and helps us go on.
Somehow, we survive by laughing at the sabertooths and skeletons, fleas and furies. Comedy says "This is not fun? Ah, but it too shall pass." In many lands, Father Winter or St. Nick is thin, not fat, dressed in black, bringing cruelty as often as being generous. Comedy? It can seem Divine...
Thanks, Mr. Bruni. A Russian story comes to mind: "Why do you rabbis answer a question with another question", a non-believer asked. "So, how should I know?" was the reply.
2
After the House votes, Pelosi should reopen the hearings and press for judicial forced testimony from Bolton, Mulvaney, etc... The rationale is clear with the Sham Trial McConnell plans in the Senate. Democrats have nothing to lose by doing this once they Impeach Trump.
2
Bravo! How very clever.....'tis the season.
However, the truth brings sadness.
I pray we, as a nation strong, will be able to survive this.
Buon Natale.
4
That was well done. Still, I feel so profoundly sad.
12
Thank you Frank Bruni! Your poem brought a smile to my face on this impeachment day. Something we all needed.
9
Amazing, creative, thoughtful words. Will any of it make a difference? I keep wondering if John McCain were still alive, would he respond, "I like people who were not impeached," but he was too dignified to lower himself to that level. May God help us all get through this sad chapter of US history.
13
Just what we needed as this continues to astound anyone with the least bit of credibility. Thanks for the humor!
5
You are truly gifted, Frank! Thank you for this gem!
15
Brilliant. A sad day and so many sad truths expressed with such clarity and insight.
8
Brilliantly inspired. Would have added a copy of this to my Holiday cards, but, alas, the last ones were mailed yesterday. And he is trying to ruin the United States Postal Service, too. Wishing the PMG, Megan Brennan, a Happy Retirement.
5
Brilliant. I wish I was still capable of laughter. These days my grief runs too deep for laughter and I can't even find relief in tears, the horror of it all is just too much to take in.
11
This was SOOOO perfect! I'm hoping this will become a classic - maybe even a Christmas song!! Absolutely Brilliant.
35
Frank-you are so gifted and clever! Thank you for sharing. Our situation seems so dire - we laugh or we cry. It feels much better to laugh-it helps us believe we will get through these dark and troubling times.
22
So accurately and eloquently put. These are sad times for our democracy.
12
Excellent! And much needed during this time of pain!
17
Frank, I always look forward to reading your thoughts but this was outstanding ! I hope you write more poetry. I am sharing it with likeminded friends.
..
24
Frank, this is hilarious! A good laugh is what we need in these perilous times! Thanks!
21
I like the reindeer.
19
Fantastic! Really, really what I needed to see just now, so discouraged by it all, but your parody of the "Night Before Christmas quite brilliantly hits the mark. Thanks!
28
What a marvelous holiday gift from you to us! I will pass it on via email to so many exasperated Trump-weary folks I know.
39
I am going to try and print this out to send w/ my Xmas cards. Thanks for a laugh in these disturbing times.
“Once, after plowing through sixty or seventy volumes of bad verse, I described myself as a poetry-hater. The epithet was and is absurd. The truth is that I enjoy poetry as much as the next man — when the mood is on me. But what mood? The mood, in a few words, of intellectual and spiritual fatigue, the mood of revolt against the insoluble riddle of existence, the mood of disgust and despair.
Poetry, then, is a capital medicine. First its sweet music lulls, and then its artful presentation of the beautifully improbable soothes and gives surcease. It is an escape from life, like religion, like enthusiasm, like glimpsing a pretty girl. And to the mere sensuous joy in it, to the mere low delight in getting away from the world for a bit, there is added, if the poetry be good, something vastly better, something reaching out into the realm of the intelligent, to wit, appreciation of good workmanship.”
— From H. L. Mencken, “The Poet and His Art,” Prejudices, Third Series.
20
Impeachment decorated nicely in Christmas rhyme. What a delight for the Democratic spirit. Joy to the progressive world.
And this is the problem. This all hat and no cattle. Democratic self-indulgence in a partisan spectacle. The Senate will put an end to this faster than one can say "Merry Christmas". And nothing will have come of this (other than a substantial waste of tax dollars.)
Except that the Republican base is even more fired up and the Democrats still have no viable candidate.
7
@Wolf Bein Take your bah, humbug elsewhere please. The rest of us need some levity and lightness during this bleak midwinter. One must laugh and be merry every once in awhile or risk utterly succumbing to despair during this toxic reign of Trump the Terrible.
Nice verse. Thank you Frank. And God save our country.
28
Thank you! Cheers me up at this dismal juncture. Although impeachment seems clear, so sorry that the Repubs in the Senate are impervious to facts.
16
Thank you, Frank. This piece is priceless. Write more verse, please. You do it well. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to one of my favorite columnists. You always know what to say.
34
Sad and horrifying, but very well done! Thanks for a smile in the midst of our national nightmare.
36
Merry Chrisrmas to you, Frank Bruni. Fitting our daily horrors into that familiar cadence highlights the absurdity of our current situation. My version isn't poetry, it's my nightmare.
It feels weird to know that Senate Republicans are about to take the reins of the impeachment...sort of like being on a slow-motion ride on a sleigh that is headed downhill towards a dense line of Christmas trees. As we climb aboard people are talking about how lucky we all are. Many talk about how snug and warm they are under the blankets, how pretty everything is, and the richest passengers are pleased to have mugs of wonderful hot chocolate. No one seems to understand that we're all doomed. When someone suggests that we may be headed in the wrong direction, that we need a better driver, many become outraged that anyone would attack Santa, who keeps everyone warm, plied with gorgeous views and warm blankets...the driver silences the complainers. As the sleigh continues downhill some blankets fly off, but opposition has been silenced.
So here we go, into the trees. Brace! Brace!
12
Frank...You can make me laugh, but also cry at the situation we are in...The future is scary, and if we have to keep reading and wincing at the further exploits of HE, who thinks he has become the leader of the world, then we all are facing a very sorry future...I guess we have to keep our "sense of humor", and I DO appreciate yours, but the real world still faces us, and we know that we have a very serious situation facing us this coming November,,,If only that other 48% understood how they are being wrongly overwhelmed by the man they consider to be the Non Person of the Year...
6
Frank just channeled a favorite college professor of mine, who would end an outrageous real-life story with a squinty-eyed grin and the phrase, “You laugh to keep from cryin’!”
11
As a registered Democrat, after Trump is impeached tomorrow, I’m personally looking forward to having a blue, blue Christmas, without him.
36
Trump as Jesus. What a depressing thought but one he probably believes and worships.
2
I think it is fitting you have written such doggerel on the Eve of Impeachment, doggerel for this man who stoops so low and acts so poorly. We are living through times that make Mad Magazine seem serious and scholarly with an emperor who struts and stalks naked with great pride. I am glad that the House will vote to impeach him, giving him the scarlet "I" that will brand him forever as the villain that he is, even if the Republicans in the Senate do not have the courage and the ethics to convict him. It is still startling that so many Americans still support him even after so much proof of wrongdoing.
25
Great piece... an ode to a toad.
89
@DLC Great comment. You made me laugh as loud as the column did.
2
What's next race laws, oh I forgot we just got that one! Does anyone remember how fascism spread and the Nazis came into power?
9
BRAVO!
13
So bad, you should be embarrassed. But so hilarious. Thank you for the laugh.
11
Amazing, that this was as hard hitting as any opinion piece I have read. Bravo.
29
William Butler Yeats wrote this line from one of his poems to a friend, but it could have been written to the current Democrats in Congress:
Now all the truth is out,
Be secret and take defeat
From any brazen throat,
For how can you compete,
Being honor bred, with one
Who were it proved he lies
Were neither shamed in his own
Nor in his neighbors’ eyes;
49
Oh the brilliance, the insight, the wisdom and truth,
45 dashes hope and robs me of youth,
If I may just please thank you, Mr Bruni I plead,
Keep writing in verse,
It is just what we need,
The humor unravels the horror we see,
As each morning we rise with weak knobbed knees,
Barely able to stand the tweets and the smears,
And the lies degradations and bitter mad smears,
If the new year will beckon and yell loud with hope,
Please wake up now voters and all of you VOTE!
1349
@Juliana James So what before my wondering eyes should appear, but a Jullianna from Portland with words I can hear, yes let us vote let us come to a center, here's to a new year we will reinvent her, if the new year will beckon and yell loud with hope, and Merry whatever and to all a good night!
22
Very imaginative and creative, Mr. Bruni.
You should teach Poetry writing over at SUNY.
As for my Friend Sean Hannity
He showed the height of Insanity,
When he said of the Report of the General Inspector
His only use was to Democrats he did Hector.
But then Mother Jones
Said the tap on the Phones
Did not exist, it was never born
In the article by David Corn.
When will this End,
When we can say the Other Side
Is My Friend?
When as Abe Lincoln said
The Better Angels in our head,
Maybe with some Libation,
Can work to Re-Bind us together as a Nation?
20
@ JJ Brilliant doggerel thank you!
10
Very well done, Mr. Bruni. Unfortunately, for the country, every word is true.
29
People around him who work for him are hoping that his tenure will see so much economic gain that all of Trump's lies and wrong doing will be forgotten and forgiven. Time will tell if this happens and also will show if America has moral fabric left.
6
In the spirit of the season it would be nice if Democrats could find something nice to say about Mr. Trump, or if not at least fall temporarily silent. This endless leftist festival of derision tells us more about the Dems than they might like is to know.
4
Well deserved derision, You might have added. But since you didn’t, I will.
25
This is not the time for silence. It is the time for revolt.
39
@Ronald B. Duke
I would like to find something nice to say about Trump. But try as I might, I can find no grain of truth or goodness anywhere within him.
There may possibly be a trace of nobility in Trump; but you would have to drill and blast to uncover it.
20
This is not a time for this kind of article. All hangs in the balance.
2
@Anon - Doggerel has along history of significantly influencing public opinion. The penalties for writing political doggerel such as this included having one’s hand struck off and worse. This is one of the reasons behind the First Amendment.
The times are indeed serious; every weapon must be used, and this doggerel is timely and catchy. Therefore, please don’t denigrate it. Celebrate it.
Also, celebrate the fact once Trump’s Impeached today, he cannot ever be pardoned. He needn’t be convicted or removed. So sooner or later...his Christmas goose is cooked!
A+ Thanks! :-)
11
Simply brilliant.
15
As I read this tonight I was amused at first, then it got depressing.......because it's all too true.
22
To find verse in this curse, you need to look at the obverse. Trump’s letter to Pelosi is not in the spirit of Christmas but of Festivus.
11
Wonderful!
7
Thank you, Mr. Bruni, for my much-needed laugh of the day. Very clever!
9
BRILLIANT and thankful to ALL of good sense, humor, morals and vision. We shall overcome this dark hour.
9
I stare at the beautiful Christmas tree before a lovely pre-holiday this column brought me a smile, and a wish for our Republic’s future. No Grinch can dim that wish!
6
Absolutely masterful. Thank you!
11
I agree this is brilliant; but I still believe in Christmas, and America. We will overcome this freak.
Someday there will be a new Christmas Story, with Trump as the Ghost of Christmas Past, rattling his chains.
41
Beautifully phrased and extremely depressing!
14
Thank you. I feel speechless. You took to rhyme. I get it. Well done! As we weep through this madness.
11
You hit the nail on the head Mr. Bruni. Thank you.
7
WOW!
what a great column, and oh, so depressing
7
This gives him way too much attention...it's CHRISTMAS and who wants to keep being reminded of this guy. Let's try HARD to forget who he is for at least a few days.....so many good people to be remembered instead. (Like the journalists at The NY Times for instance.)
3
Dear Melania,
May your fondest Christmas Dream come true.
Be Best, Dear.
25
I was hoping you wouldn't actually rhyme. Oh Frank, it's such a gimmick and you're so much better than gimmicks. I got halfway through. I'll come back for the next opinion piece. Please don't do this again. Happy holidays.
1
winning....
Excellent, Frank. I just did a dramatic reading for the room. This is the rare NYT piece that must be read aloud with the correct cadence to be fully appreciated.
26
An earnest attempt at humor and it is appreciated. The trouble for me is that I feel so over-saturated at this time with everything Trump that rather than amusement, this piece feels redundant. The best gift from the Times for Christmas, would be a day without any Trump coverage. That being unlikely, I plan to engage in my own abstinence from Trump on Christmas.
4
Sorry, I just cannot bring myself to chuckle.
The state of our nation is no laughing matter.
6
Frank isn't trying to be funny. The sadness of our democracy's peril are loud and clear.
26
@leah
Frank is trying to be funny. That's why he chose parody.
Merriam-Webster defines parody as
"1: a literary or musical work in which the style of an author or work is closely imitated for comic effect or in ridicule"
Larry E must be shedding a tear from above,
Reading Frank's verse, and asking, "What happened to love?"
The grinches are many, no St. Nick to be found,
No gifts of joy and peace, only lies abound.
Where have we gone, what have we done
To have a Trump who is equal to none?
A Party of Lincoln is now without a soul,
Only greed and bigotry remain its goal.
But we can change this, and we know the way.
Let Santa bring us a new president next year...and a holy Christmas Day.
37
@Kathy Lollock
Larry was a noble spirit, and so is Bruni. When the heart is breaking, a little smile can save the day.
2
@drbobsolomon How right you are. After reading this marvelous piece from Frank, I actually felt hope for the future. There are certainly many, many of us - indeed, millions - who can make a difference come November 2020.
2
Your Christmas poem and the picture of Trump wearing a red and white hat just about sums it up: Those who believe in Trump also believe in Santa Claus.
7
Excellent! Comic relief in these gloomy times. I am still hoping for a Christmas miracle. It is heart-wrenching to think that morality is dead in Senate Republicans.
15
A formal request is hereby made for Bruni to remake The Charge Of The Light Brigade.
10
Dear music composer people. Write a score for this jingle. Better yet, turn it into an opera. But too long of one. That would be elitist. We wouldn't want to upset any Trump supporters. But at least, it would be in English. Come on Broadway producers, this is your cue!
13
One thing I have learned from the Idiopath-in-Chief is that "the downfall of a dictator is ridicule" is not true. I have done my darnedest, as have Mr. Bruni and countless other non-cultist Americans. But He Whose Name Shall Not be Said continues to foul the nest.
Let us leave Id's name unspoken, but not give up on protest, phone calls, e-mails, polite, tasteful graffiti, letters to the editor, and voting. But, please, no more ridicule. It just doesn't work.
2
@Chac
can I steal that?
"He Whose Name Shall Not be Said continues to foul the nest."
So accurate!
6
@c
Steal away!
3
He was funny and wise, it was good for my health
'Cause I laugh'd when I read it in spite of myself
A column by Frank and the words I've just read
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread
He spoke with great wit, giving comfort in his work
'Cause assaults of humour will help oust that big jerk
54
Frank Bruni , worth the annual price of a NYT subscription. And then some.
31
Well done.
Humor can hide a broken heart. I for one am broken hearted that our system of gov’t may actually fail. All checks and balances disregarded for power and greed. Money and raw ruthless power ruling the day. Civility and real values tossed to the dust pan of history. Christianity bastardized beyond recognition.
What continually saddens me since the 2016 election, is that my fellow Americans who continue to support Trump embrace this. Blinded by a con artist they simply don’t care as long as he keeps them entertained with his brand of incivility or money in their pockets. There are no winners in this. No one wins in a war. I don’t have to agree with a leaders policies or my fellow Americans politics. It’s called Democracy. But I won’t accept this as the new norm. Real leaders bring people together, don’t drive people a part despite the disagreements.
Long after Trump is gone, the damage will take years to clear or maybe never. Damage done. As we finally see the soul of America laid bare. It’s uglier than I ever wanted to believe. I will never feel the same about America again. Period. This chapter is simply too ugly. Yes, I am an independent. No party with a soulless country.
20
Rudolph the red nosed bagman
Had some very slimy Bros
And if we ever let them
We'll indict and then expose
All of the other convicts
Will laugh out when they call his name
They'll never let poor Rudolph
Join in any convict games
Rudolph the red nosed bagman
You'll go down in infamy!
64
"Twas brillig!" And very definitely quite frank.
But through it all so dark that it definitely stank.
It's the stench of the swamp with all it's mire.
As Republicans ignore what the law doth require.
It's the Grinch that is stealing a lot more than hope.
He's trussed up the Constitution in autocratic rope.
With Mitch's "Total Exoneration!" waving in his small hand
he chortled "Happy New Year! I'm above the law of the land."
And so it was written as Cicero ghost all bloody and gory
"Sic gloria transit Americana" thus passes America's glory.
It's so cute and clever just like Bruni
but we've been undone by a man so puny.
12
I liked yours, Frank. Here’s mine
Every Dem down in Demville liked Impeachment a lot.
But the trump who lived just South of Demville did not!
trump hated Impeachment ! The whole nasty season!
You don't have to ask why. You all know the reason.
It could be, perhaps, that his tie was too tight.
It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his brain was two sizes too small.
But, whatever the reason, his tie or his brain,
Hating democracy was his constant refrain.
97
@Steve Ell :
I was hoping someone would mention the Grinch, who Trump so resembles.
Thank you.
4
@Steve Ell Funny very funny, actually laughed out loud.
2
Don...go away...please.
3
very cute!
2
He’s a mean one
Donald Grinch
And he causes
me to flinch
Makes my skin crawl
Every inch
Last man on Earth
In a pinch?
I’d rather Die first
That’s a cinch.
21
I misread “howls” of dejection as “jowls” and them drifted off for a moment...and I think the Ghost of TrumpMas Future showed me a vision.
Nancy Pelosi was reading this Frank Bruno classic to her grandchildren in front of a roaring fire. Elves were feeding it with several-hundred-page reports, glancing around surreptitiously.
A bell rang as somebody named Clarence or Thomas opened a vault full of off-limits phone conversation transcripts that say next to the fireplace. I’m pretty sure there was also a choir led by Melania—at least it sounded like her accent—singing that old Flying Lizzards song, “Just give me money; that’s what I want...”
No more holiday limoncello for me.
6
oh fantastic, Frank Bruni. You are the best! Can't say enough how we appreciate your creativity, imagination, skilled writing, brilliant thinking! Humor is always the tool that cuts deepest. In your hands it works magic. Thank you.
13
We’ll impeach this Christmas season.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Nancy gave us two good reasons.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Tho’ the Senate acts with caution.
Fa la la, fa la la, fa la la.
We still know it was extortion.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
53
We're covered in mud, all this scurrilous slime
we've given up prose, and we've taken to rhyme.
Some 40% of us, dance by the pyre
Our democracy burns, they throw fuel on the fire.
We sometimes get weary, and rage at the sky
But then there's some humor, that helps us get by.
And we long for a holiday, peaceful and merry
Nostalgic for days when our leader was Barry.
70
I know you needed to make a rhyme, but calling the opposition "lice" does not improve our discourse.
1
Brilliant. Alas.
6
On the twelfth night of Christmas we had one overstuffed ego, two brave committee chairs, three parts of government well almost, four flushing Senators, five golden lies, six French scowls, seven maids who signed NTAs, eight disbarred lawyers, nine judges waiting, ten former
commandments, eleven accusations of fake news and twelve impeached historians all with fake news.
Thanks Frank. It was great. Harry
6
@Harry Schaffner
Only one question: were those "flushing Senators" flushing 10 times or 15 times?
7
Four noteworthy Wednesdays: Impeachment, Christmas, New Years Day and start of vacation in Oxford England. Good to get away from it all!
2
Love it! Now, could you please write a poem about Rupert Murdoch and all the harm he has caused to our country with his propagandist Fox News?
11
Brilliant!
6
Brilliant!
3
Thank you Mr Bruni.
A true Christmas nightmare.
1
Article 1 of the articles of impeachment alleged the the president committed “Abuse of Power” when he “corruptly solicited the Government of Ukraine to publicly announce investigations into—
(A) a politcal opponent, (former Vice President Joe R.Biden, Jr.; and
(B) a discredited theory promoted by Russia alleging that Ukraine—rather than Russia—interfered in the 2016 United States Presidential election.”
The House Intelligence Committee report (page 121) shows that Ambassador Volker told President Zelensky the State Department would schedule a White House meeting if he would make publicly announce a crackdown on corruption. Zelensky presented a draft announcement that said: “We intend to initiate and complete a transparent and unbiased investigation of all available facts and episodes which in turn will prevent the recurrence of this problem in the future.”
After discussing the draft with Rudy Giuliana, Volker asked Zelensky to insert the phrase “including Burisma and the 2016 election“ after “episodes.” The propose announcement did not mention Joe Biden or a discredited Russian theory. Zelensky agreed but never made the announcement.
The Senate is not going to remove the president from office because Volker asked Zelensky to insert six words into an announcement that was never made.
1
I woke up from this nightmare, awoke from his ruse.
Impeachment's the cure for this Siberian Stooge.
17
Wanted to enjoy this, but the Mr. Bruni needed an poetically inclined editor to help him keep the meter steady. Frequently, it isn't.
There’s always a Goldilocks critic out there.
5
Poetry that rhymes...but couldn't you have found a more palatable subject...instead of a weasel this abject? And given that he adores himself with such a commitment, what better way than to cure his ego via impeachment?
3
Great job, Frank! You found verse in the trumpcurse! You're a poet, do your feet show it? They're Longfellows. Re your " 'Twas the Eve of Impeachment" a couple of lines from the venerable Robert W. Service:
"Cheer up! don't get so glum
And sick of everything;
The worst is yet to come;
God help you till the Spring.
God shield you from the Fear;
Teach you to laugh, not moan.
Ha! ha! it sounds so queer —
Alone, alone, alone." 'The Telegraph Operator'
and 'The Cremation of Sam McGee' with a hat-tip to Senate Leader Mitch McConnell:
"and there sat Sam, looking cool and calm, in the heart of the furnace roar; And he wore a smile you could see a mile, and he said: "Please close that door.
It's fine in here, but I greatly fear you'll let in the cold and storm— Since I left Plumtree, down in Tennessee, it's the first time I've been warm."
1
I just want to know when the men in little white coats are going to take this lunatic away!
Today’s unhinged letter to Speaker Pelosi should seal the deal.
11
Disappointed and surprised that Mr Bruni treats this so lightly. He treated his food reviews with more respect, and thought fullness. Sad day for the grey lady this is not the same paper I grew up with.
The rabble still love him. . .
The deplorables swoon. . .
The GOP "trial" will be over by noon. . .
14
Brilliant.
1
Thanks I hate it
1
Mine has a better ending:
‘Twas the night before impeachment and all through the White House
The lawyers were stirring to absolve the Chief Louse.
The bribes were all rationed to Republican sheep
In hopes that their votes would prove loyalty deep.
When out on the lawn there arose a copter’s clatter,
The Louse sprang from his bed to shout newsy chatter
To reporters who waited for what to tell folks:
“No quid pro quo” and “Impeachment’s a hoax.”
So away to the window he flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and grabbed all his cash
When what to his wondering eyes did appear,
A ladder to escape from the vote that drew near.
The helicopter pilot in Russian said, “quick”!
Louse knew in a moment this would do the trick.
“To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Let’s dash away! Leave today! Flee from it all!”
So up to the housetop the chopper took flight,
Then straight to the airport in darkness of night.
The Louse’s eyes twinkled, his dimples were merry
For running away from Schiff, Pelosi, and Jerry.
On the Aeroflot plane he shouted, “Hurry let’s go
To Putin who’ll hide me safe in Moscow.”
But I heard him exclaim ere he flew out of sight,
Vlad’s dacha in Russia will be mine tonight.
21
Borrowing the words of Chris Farley from “Tommy Boy”:
That...... was...... AWESOME!
4
Bravo! A fine bit of doggerel!
Haiku for Frank:
New Year glimmers hope
Old dreams renew our Spirits
November draws near
11
It’s interesting that half or more responses are despondent and despairing. C’mon! Fight back. All Dem candidates are good and please don’t discourage or get discouraged if Warren or Sanders shine through. Believe in them and their efforts just like Reps are blindly faithful to their King knowing ours is a better choice for humanity however formidable or impossible their agenda maybe
4
Yes Virginia, there is a Grinch who wants to steal Impeachment.
Mitch and the rest of the GoP seem to want to ignore any pressure to honor their Oaths of office in order to ignore the huge loss of confidence in 45*†, to the confidence of this country and to it's rank and it's currency as a democracy.
Recalling McConnell should be the "First Gift of Impeachment."
The Second Gift of Impeachment should be voters going after ANY Senator who votes to NOT. CALL. ANY. WITNESSES. Lumps of coal to them all.
Dissolve the Senate if we must and create a Lemon Law if it fails to work again.
Besides that, this column is the fairest and the bestest in all the land...!
3
Excellent, Frank.
Only a couple of slight rhythm slips--it's hard to get every line on point when you have to include certain names and terms in the effort--and one lazy rhyme ("mangy reindeer").
And, I understand Clement Clarke Moore favors impeachment, but not necessarily removal.
1
Let's hope we make it through the night and tomorrow without the smirker in chief engineering a major distraction, like an unprepared student pressing the fire alarm bell a minute or two before the test starts.
2
Hopefully, all of the late night t,v. luminaries read your brilliantly funny, political satire tonight, Mr. Bruni. Better yet, may one of them book you to read it yourself!
4
Brilliant! Kudos,
even though seeing
his crimes in verse
makes it all worse.
6
Bravissimo, Mr. Bruni!
BTW,
If Trump's kakistocracy
Has truly destroyed our democracy,
They've all committed crime after crime
And must all do the time.
9
Excellent piece, put it in book with child like illustrations so the 40% of Americans who voted for TrumpMas can understand what has been going on in our country!
9
ah, the fantasies of desperate minds.
for those of us able to think outside the echo chamber, who value intellectual honesty, here are the facts:
no high crimes or misdeanors
thus, no grounds for impeachment
No quid pro quo, though perhaps Trump wanted something
No national security threat, nothing. yawn.
The Dems have had the intention to reject the last election, from day one. And they've declared their intention to impeach him, from day one. So, those outside groupthink circles can see the intellectual dishonesty and the futility of this all
It demeans rule of law, it demeans the constitution
"we don't like Trump", is no reason to destroy the democracy.
1
What's the word for when you're laughing and crying at the same time? Yeah, that word.
5
Bittersweet...?
3
For those of you who wish no levity about the situation, go read Trump's letter to the Speaker of the House. It's a real downer.
The man is incorrigible.
7
@MJM
I read the whole letter. Wow. 45's right in one thing - it's a document that'll go down in history.
Way, way, way down.
1
Tomorrow's task: print Frank' poem & enclose it in the Christmas cards I plan on sending to my many Dem friends, and to the 2 who proudly (and stupidly) wear those ridiculous red hats - and not of the Santa variety. Frank, you're no Robert Frost, but your rhyming shows promise. :)
4
Brilliant! This is wonderful.
1
Best part is they won't understand the polysyllabic words!
4
Well done, Mr. Bruni. Very well done.
5
The lack of sworn testimony from key Administration players, Mulvaney, Bolton, Pompeo, Giuliani or Pence tells you everything you need to know about the Ukraine bribery case.
No sworn testimony from key players in the Russia investigation like Don Jr., except from those now in prison or heading that way, like Manafort, Cohen, Flynn, Stone and Gates.
Everything else coming out of the White House can be categorized as meaningless misdirection, lies or both.
4
Simply SUPERB!
4
Now let us praise Frank,
Yes, let us thank Bruni,
Insightful as anyone,
At Harvard or SUNY.
Writing verse after verse,
About the creep Trump,
And never descending,
To rhyme him with "rump".
I think I'll fly off now,
to lie on a beach,
but bring Bruni's column,
while they move to impeach.
Kudos, Frank!
14
Brilliant. A new Christmas classic.
5
I love this!!! Right on the money!!!
4
Ouch. I'm not sure whether to applaud, laugh, or cry
1
Wow, Frank, a great one.
11
The only way you are going to win against him is to laugh him out of office.
1
As usual, Frank Bruni says what we're thinking. But this time in rhyme. Bravo!
3
Really brilliant, Mr. Bruni. Can one receive a Pulitzer for a single column, one so awfully sad and so funny, all in masterstroke. Frank Bruni for President in 2020!
11
This is fantastic
4
This isn't funny, Frank. This is about the survival of American democracy. This is about whether Trump will become an elected dictator.
Stop pretending this is a joke.
1
What fun! But, it's getting more difficult to laugh as we watch him and his cult destroy our country.
3
That about sums things up.
1
‘‘Twas the eve of Impeachment/
And all through the House/
Not a Republican was stirring,
All of them louse”
“The documents were collated by the aides with care
In hopes that American Justice would soon be there.
The Dems were all ready, subpoenas to be read.
With visions of Trump toppled dancing in their heads.”
TrumpMas indeed, replacing Christ.
But I am exhausted by the ego-show.
Everyday: “What outrageously obnoxious and heinous thing did Mr. T do today?”
His base adores him:O Come All Ye Faithful.
The worse he gets, the more strident they become.
Of course, a Demagogue would never repent, apologize or be ashamed.
Of course, he will scream and attack and ridicule every step of the way.
With the Senate’s acquittal, he will be emboldened.
He will only get worse.
And if his tribes in Wisconsin and Michigan come through for him — the next term will be terminal.
If this is the new normal — cheating, ridicule, contempt, ruthlessness — then what on Earth will 2024 be like?
Because either Party can play this Demagogue game.
If these are the new rules—heaven help us.
But I am just getting tired of seeing that fat face on my screen everyday. That belching, vociferous hole spewing hatred and bile.
Just go away, please.
Can someone please make him go away?
1
Well done sir.
1
There is a very serious problem with this song.
Fox News will not let you recite it on their Grinch of a network!
2
Thank you very much Frank
You can take this piece to the Bank.
I only hope is this: Trump get a visit from St Nick.
And it's not just coal that's Nick's pick.
No, Trump deserves the best we can offer.
That he ends up a pauper.
That the justice he deserves.
He's got a big nerve!
Just put him in a court jester hat and send him to play in the D.C. traffic in rush hour. Fair game.
1
Trump has been attacked in so many ways, from so many directions - and nothing sticks to wake up his base. His will go down as one of the strangest big time cults in history. We are living in a real life horror movie, with no happy ending. Too much damage has already been done.
807
@Paul Shindler, I have no idea how he will go down in history since it is uncertain whether America will ever go back to anything approaching normalcy again.
Who knows, he may go down as the man who founded a new nation, conceived in ..., and dedicated to the proposition that only his voters are created equal.
34
@Paul Shindler
Keep the faith.
Remember the other Teflon Don, John Gotti. His luck finally ran out and he ended up in jail and then dead.
There are 11 months till the election. Miracles can happen. We may discover someting unsavory enough so that even his dimwitted supporters can't accept.
42
@Butterfly:
I would not count on Trump's Base becoming disillusioned with him. But 90 million Voters did not vote in 2016, more than either Trump or Hillary received. We should be working on those Voters, to get them to vote as if the Nation's future depends on it. Well, it does.
Back in October, after Trump threw the Kurds under the Bus (or Tank), a Trump Voter asked me why all the Late Night Comics made fun of our President.
I asked "What other President even spoke of his "GREAT AND UNMATCHED WISDOM?"
I was told "not to compare President Trump with ANY other President!"
I have to agree.
Trump is UNLIKE any other President.
18
Pure brilliance! At times I laughed, but mostly I cried. I still have enough hope in the deep revulsion held by the American public for this cretin and his minions, that we will have a better outcome and will write much more jolly lyrics for Christmas 2020. Blessed Christmas ,Frank.
536
@Peter Faass me too
4
I hope John Roberts is watching the news, especially the clips showing Mitch McConnell telling the world that he is coordinating the Senate trial with the White House. But McConnell is supposed to be a jurist. Isn't this reason for Roberts to excuse him from jury duty?
16
As depressed as I've become at the mounting gloom I read and see everyday in The NY Times and TV news, every once in awhile I laugh at an op/ed that somehow manages to be simultaneously humorous and painful. There is no getting away from it when writing anything about Trump.
Frank , thank you for this. This ingenious jingle, a brilliant rumination on the night before impeachment , inspired by the lyrical cadence of Clement Moore, is not only brilliantly clever but also deadly serious. You skewer with deadly aim while delighting the reader with your talent for satire and rhyme. And above all, Truth. Bravo!
21
Part of Donald's danger, perhaps, is the capacity to make us laugh at his horror show...
I am reminded of Poe's Haunted Palace, where
"a hideous throng rush out forever
and laugh - but smile no more."
9
BRAVO!!!
Well done. There will never be anything written more witty or more apropos.
Merry Christmas Frank. May all your holiday wishes come true.
18
I think you just found your second career, Frank - poet laureate of the United States. Sheer brilliance. Well done!
9
Thank you Frank. The mix of outrage and humor hit the spot today. The minutes you spent writing this verse are paid back in blessings for your eternal peace.
24
As the world crumples under Trump, I have increasingly found myself watching the latest late-night comedy videos as I prepare for bed every night. Trump comedy is the only way many of us hold together.
Frank - I'd love to hear the author read this poem.
26
Perfect juxtaposition with the letter to Mme. Pelosi. Perhaps personal viewpoints really do not matter; perhaps objectivity, ever difficult to attain, demands impeachment, but not perhaps conviction, irregardless of the cost (which, it has been pointed out, is considerable). If one decides that the Russia meddling was a hoax, and that the Ukraine telephone calls had but two purposes; one, to shed light on the possibly corrupt Joseph Biden, and two, to attempt to shift whatever blame there was concerning the election from Russia to Ukraine, then one does get the sinking feeling that the impeachment effort is grandstanding by the Democratic party. The reason for that could very well be that what they have not gotten over about the 2016 election is that the creeping fear that the results in pivotal states were the result of tampering with the voting machines in such a manner as to record votes for H. Clinton for D.Trump is unmistakably there. For the most part, all of the apparent electioneering connected with the controversy of the impeachment hearings and potential vote appears to be quite boastful falsehoods. That is nothing new as regards candidates. However, since the intention is to get the President's job away from him, it might be as well to question the wisdom of that when one considers whether or not Pence would be truly reckless. One wonders if The President, should he become an incumbent, could be subjected to such an action by the House of Representatives again.
1
@Disinterested Party, was that intended to be coherent? Or were you trying to match Mr. Bruni’s dancing pen? In either case, you failed.
2
Fantastic piece, I'm reading it over and over. I can imagine great actors such as Meryl Streep and John Lithgow reciting and bringing to life this searing yet playful verse, either individually, or as a duo, taking turns with stanzas.
38
@Arthur Chertowsky,
Priceless idea! Given the views of Ms. Streep and Robert DeNiro (see interview in the NYT in which he refers to Trump's evil), they would no doubt take on the task with relish. I am not part of the Twittering class, but perhaps you - or another reader here - could send out the appeal?
1
Sadly awesome piece. I would gush that I love it, but it’s all too depressingly true.
45
Bravo. Thank you for providing at least some degree of levity during this less-than-festive holiday season. I suspect at some point in a previous life, Trump managed the inn and the stable was offered at a modest price. But he really got ticked off when the shepherds appeared.
16
Eloquent, Lovely, and Hilarious!
28
Great work. You've outdone yourself, Frank.
Have a wonderful Christmas - which means putting all this out of your mind for a while. (I'm lucky to be 18 time zones away.)
57
I love Frank’s column; his writing always excellent and thought-provoking. But in my mind, this is no time for lightheartedness. Trump, his enablers, and Putin (as well as other world authoritarians) are a clear threat and danger on a global scale and in nearly all ways. I worry about my children’s futures, and everyone’s children and grandchildren. What kind of world are we leaving behind for them? The deranged, insane Trump must be stopped, but I fear it is too late. The damage’s been done and Putin is cheering. Putin has been planning this attack for decades. And Trump has knowingly and willingly played right into Putin’s hands. God help us.
372
@Theresa I know what you're suggesting about lightheartedness. But Bruni's column is hardly that, especially the last two lines. Verse does not make this living hell frivolous.
38
@Theresa This is not lightheartedness. This is the duct tape that people are using to hold our hearts together while they are breaking into shards, so that we do not succumb to despair and so that we can keep on fighting.
95
@Theresa Sorry but Trump is providing enough gloom and doom. A little levity during this season is chicken soup for our souls. Well done, Bard Bruni!
12
Look, I dislike the man as much as anyone. But it is disingenuous to chastise him for posting tweets about Pelosi’s teeth when you devote a huge portion of your rhyming opus to making fun of his looks. Don’t stoop to his level.
3
@Passion for Peaches ... Obviously Trump started it.
Think of his comments about fellow Republican candidates in the previous presidential election ... male and female.
2
@Passion for Peaches
Mr. Bruni is not the holder of the most august office in the land - if Trump can dish it out, surely he can take it.
Oh, wait......
6
@Passion for Peaches
The difference is this is an opinion columnist poking fun at the buffoon.
The other is the PRESIDENT publicly ridiculing another elected official. I would expect our PRESIDENT to have a little more maturity and decorum. He is an embarrassment; a petulant man-child bully who has no self control or filter. How far we have fallen.
9
Frank. Very clever.Very witty. Too bad Trump will not get it.Not even a little bitty.
89
Who knew that anyone could rhyme the wreck which is Trump! Frank , this is a masterpiece-it will live on much longer than Trump’s pathetic letter.This clever writing is a great holiday gift -thank you!
56
Love it! Especially Barr as an elf & the reindeer!
24
@Christine Pitts :
If Barr were a reindeer the sleigh would have a very hard time gaining altitude.
1
It's clever, Frank, but I must say that I am past frivolity on this impeachment and what Trump/GOP do daily to our country. Perhaps pick a different theme?
3
Art Buchwald is smiling, wherever he is. Nice job.
66
@Mardi
AGREED !
I am channeling Art often here.. Merry Christmas to all.
5
@Mardi the nicest of compliments!
5
@Mardi
Well said. Less than 40 minutes agomI stopped on my way to the new online to read my old copy of Buchwald's "I Think I Do Not Remember" Almost woke up my wie with my laughter. Parody is a lifesaver.
Before going to bed most nights I search HBO, Netflix, and Showtime and watch stand up comics specials so I can laugh a little and stop thinking about the nightmare we are living with Trump and what is to come. It is in times of crisis that humor is so necessary, it gives our minds a reprieve. Thanks Frank, well done--- aside from it all being tragic and true.
37
Beautifully written! Saving this one for my office wall!
14
Thoughtful and beautifully written, @FrankBruni. I certainly hope a cleverly illustrated book is coming!
33
Fantastic. Very clever, creative. Kudos, Mr. Bruni.
Now if it were all just funny.
And not based on our national reality.
30
Laughter does help, but I just wish we didn't need that help.
hanks for an excellent chuckle.
13
Wonderful. Love the reindeer.
32
I'm saving this one. Larry Eisenberg would have loved it! Oh, the ghosts of Christmas past, when truth was truth and all who lied were turned on.
Frank Bruni, what a wit. Too bad all of this is sadly the life we're living now. Will you be writing poetic parodies if Trump gets reelected?
More importantly, will we still be able to read them?
813
@ChristineMcM
We will still be able to read them, but it will be underground and illegal.
8
@ChristineMcM
Thank you for thinking of Larry. Miss him much.
26
@ChristineMcM
What happened to Larry Eisenberg?
5
Good job!
Are you willing to take on "Jabberwocky"?
If so, I look forward to it. Maybe some time during the senate "trial"?
184
@de'laine ‘Twas brillig...What a great idea! I hope Frank seizes on your suggestion.
3
@de'laine
No need for Frank to do it -- everything that comes out of Trump's mouth is "Jabberwocky" on steroids!!!!
8
@de'laine Well, "toad" is the 6th word in Jabberwocky, so I think that's a good start!!!
"...history scarred him.."
But I'm 73, and I may not live to see that "history" because the Time of Delusion may exceed my earthly span.
The denial of ordinary reality (my cousin: "I read the transcript; he did nothing wrong!" Me: but he said a favor though, and Bidens. Cousin: no, he didn't; I read the transcript) explains how all those Germans didn't know about concentration camps.
133
Mr Dodgson makes a very salient point about living with fear should one be a member of a minority group. Yes, trump has made it clear that he applauds hostility. However this poem does not minimize the situation. I believe Mr Bruni has written the truth in verse form. It is funny and we deserve a chuckle now and then. Laughter lightens the moment not the years of trump's administration.
18
The first two lines are absolutely priceless!
22
@Martha Shelley
Actually, the entire piece is priceless. Mr. Bruni, you are a genius. Thank you.
1
Congratulations- great job. And woe is us!
22
Somehow, the last 2 lines seem to be missing!
(just kidding!)
But a quiet voice meantime he heard in his ear,
and Putin said "no, this is my kingdom here!"
244
Very well done.
14
Thank you...Fabulous.. A balm.
11
Maybe I'm in a foul mood today, but I see no humor in this column, as many readers did. Mr. Bruni is skillfully capturing a great tragedy of our time. I applaud his talent, as I grieve for our democracy.
128
Well done. I couldn't stop laughing.
6
Truly masterful. Thank you, Mr. Bruni.
11
We NYT readers appreciate all Frank has done to enlighten us about the horrors of this horrible man Trump and his minions. This poem is brilliant, but lots of us are actually grieving about the inevitable outcome of this impeachment process. There is so much misinformation out there, that anyone can pick anything about these narratives and “prove” their case. I am 68 years old and if Trump is re-elected, I will probably not live long enough to see America recover from the damage he has done. Trump likes everything to be about him, but this impeachment process actually is not about him: it’s about the next president and the one after that one. A sad day for this country indeed.
59
This priceless piece of doggerel will need a second round, I'm afraid. Today, Trump and Giuliani all but thumbed their noses at our system of government. How so? Because Rudy declared he will still looking for dirt on the Bidens in Ukraine, and Trump responded by egging him on to keep looking.
The meaning of this flippancy is unmistakable. At the very moment that Trump is facing the disgrace of impeachment, he is continuing to sanction the very activities that have brought about his indictment. In other words, he is taking the position that impeachment is of no consequence to his reckless and corrupt actions, and he plans to keep right on violating his oath of office and his duties of President.
That Republicans continue to absolve Trump's behavior, which threaten the very heart of our democracy, is beyond contempt. In my view, it is treasonous.
188
I sincerely hope that your brilliant poem isn't the start of an annual tradition.
15
Bravo bravo...poet extraordinaire!
11
The meter's a bit off, but I love it!
3
Hooray, Mr. Bruni
You summarized all.
Too bad it’s a poem
That won’t interest all.
For some folks can’t see
When their heads are in sand.
Bowing down to false idols
The worst in our land.
So on to impeachment,
‘Twill be voted down
By the Senate Republicans
All of them clowns.
Let’s pray for our country
It’s strong yet awhile.
Although not for long,
With a Leader so vile.
Keep on keeping on
Mr. Bruni, so wise.
You’re a beacon of truth
In a world full of lies.
320
@Kathryn Your rejoinder is every bit as good as Bruni's doggerel. Maybe the two of you could join together for a follow-up after Trump (gulp! horrors!) wins a second term.
10
Brilliant.
16
@Kathryn
Well done.
5
Just love it. BRAVO!
9
Brilliant, Frank Bruni. You captured the essence of the self-pitying leader, but there is nothing for us optimists.
Hark the Herald and NYTimes Sing.
This time Donald misses the Ring.
Removed. Erased. Canceled for Good.
Not Barr nor McConnell could stem the Tide.
Gone to Perdition and Nobody Cried.
11
It was a perfect rhyme. Perfect.
14
That was beautiful! I know it should be funny but it leaves me feeling down because of how awed I am by its brilliance and the incredible sadness in the truth of it.
31
As a public school teacher for 40 years (retired) I congratulate you. Well done! I am a faithful reader and want you to know how much I appreciate your work.
73
Well, that about says it all.
Where has it fled, the visionary gleam;
Where is it now, the Glory and the Dream?
23
Splendid! The Hannity/insanity rhyme might have been a tad too on the nose, but the whole piece was delightful and cathartic to read.
16
In the darkest and most deflating of times we need humor and good spirit like this to keep us going. Thank you for putting a lighter spin on our current tribulations.
22
Anyone spending Christmas with one's family should memorize and recite it when one sits down at the table. It is CHRISTMAS 2019 in a nutshell. Ii is perfect. Merry Christmas to all and to all a happy impeachment.
65
Well, in the spirit Mr. Bruni suggests, let's continue with treating this disaster of a presidency as nothing more than a bad episode of SNL. After all, what's the harm? I'll tell you. Columns like this one normalize his behavior. They tell us that things can't really be "that bad" if we're all having so many laughs.
So while we're yukking it up here, tell me what you think is so funny about this. I'm a native-born American citizen in my 60's. I've lived through the Civil Rights era and Watergate. I am a person of color. Before Trump, regardless of the political party in the White House, I never once felt fear. I was never once afraid. My family members were not afraid.
Oh, to be sure, we all heard the occasional slur. But this changed in 2017. It wasn't until after Trump was elected that for the first time in my life, I heard whites screaming at me to "go back to your own country" and "we don't want you here". Mind you, I was born in Chicago. I've never thought of any other nation as my home. But apparently the majority of whites (yes, who voted for Trump), apparently no longer believe families like mine have a place here. So fear is what differentiates this "administration" from all others.
We who are ethnic minorities understand that we may may be targeted at any time. Trump is just a political evil for some. And apparently nothing more than a sick joke to others. But he and his followers are an existential threat to families like mine. And none of us find it funny.
405
@Charles Dodgson I don't think Bruni was yucking it up. I think he put the collective desperation of many of us into verse. He certainly didn't normalize it; look at his word choices for Trump and his enablers--hardly humorous or complimentary.
153
@Charles Dodgson
Have you heard of dark humor?
This piece used poetry to convey terror, very effectively.
And, given the writer, do you really believe Bruni is making light?
92
@Charles Dodgson Your fears are very, very real, and I am sure that many of us who found humor in this column are as terrified as you are. I often find myself saying that if we lose our sense of humor, then we've really lost everything.
I will be attending a pro-impeachment rally tonight. Nothing funny about that.
106
A keeper. Fantastic.
Style and substance, a classic.
Keep 'em coming, Frank dear,
We need lots - and lots - of your cheer.
80
Priceless!!!!!!!!!
68
Haha...nice. Well done!
18
While the planet is destroyed and democracy dies it makes me ill to read a column with any lightness of Xmas parody. Sorry.
12
You should really write more of your columns in verse. This worked the whole way through - nice job!
19
very good, so well written but who is listening, who is reading, is this "nightmare" ever going to be over, are we destined to 4 more years of this hell and even worse a judicial system for the next generation stacked against most of us. Elections do have consequences. Election interference is real, the gaslighting and lies are real, the handshaking and smiles from Russia are real. If there was ever a time for America to really look at the office of the presidency is now. The man that occupies that office is deranged, ignorant, a liar and probably has dementia. Everyone in the White House, Congress and Washington knows who he is, yet the articles of impeachment will fail to remove this impaired, sick and dangerous man from office. As others have said, this is truly the
" Nightmare before Christmas"
47
Clever Frank, but I just can't laugh anymore. It is beyond ugly and crazy. It just grinds you down.
166
@Joe Morris Yes, it is not funny anymore, But, ridicule gets to tRump more than anything. We need to ridicule him - and his enablers - out of their positions of power. We need every tool in the box.
31
His fresh Hell gets old very quickly, no matter the novelty. It’s like “ professional “ Wrestling. The players may change, but it’s the same old rigged game and the classic taunts and tricks. It keeps the rubes entertained, and they never even realize their pockets are being picked, and their Children’s Future is Shot.
God Bless America.
62
@Phyliss Dalmatian - Seriously!
11
You had WAY too much fun writing this! But. It was really well done.
73
Thanks Frank - you've captured all of our thoughts, hopes and fears in this poem...
70
You covered it all. Such a poetic tragedy.
80
BRILLIANT! A nightmare before Christmas to be sure, but brilliantly written.
424
@J Smith
I suggest also the "Democracy" song of Leonard Cohen.
"Democracy is coming to the USA"
trigger a new democracy wave. Can the Times do a story on the "Democracy" song prediction?
Here are a few of the lines: (See YouTube versions)
"It's coming like the tidal flood
Beneath the lunar sway
Imperial, mysterious
In amorous array
Democracy is coming to the USA"
7
Truly the Nightmare Before Christmas.
174
Simple Bruni brilliance! Thank you, Frank.
72
@Bedfordcalled AMEN!
4