Your story reminds me of the courage and faith that one needs to survive cancer. You describe your daily battles with your demons so well. I can only believe that this experience made your daughter stronger.
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@Millie Wagner Thank you; I believe that it did.
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Beautiful. Your daughter is wise. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm a 14-year breast cancer survivor, and the ups and downs of diagnosis and debilitating treatment, of maintaining some sort of presence for family and of trying to hang onto life as I knew it, were all so draining. Yet good did come out of my experience, and I wish the same for you. And I wish you good health and much happiness moving forward as you become another of the millions of survivors inhabiting the planet.
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@Les Thank you — sending good wishes right back to you. <3
Good luck to you and thank you for a beautiful story. I am 11 years out but just stopped Aromotase Inhibitors. As someone whose cancer was found in October I always brace myself when the pink ribbons appear. Your story captures the renewal that can be involved and I hope you and your daughter have many more Halloween's to prep for.
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@Kim Rueben Thank you so much. Sending loads of hope and strength back to you. <3
One of the best stories I’ve read in the NYT and certainly uplifting. What a great writer to capture sickness and the joy of regeneration so succinctly.
Bravo and be restored to health!
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@Rob Miller Thank you so much for the generous words and good wishes! Much appreciated.
This is a wonderful story, but it is not correct to give the impression that the daughter had no one but her mother, which would certainly be terrifying in this situation. She seems to have a number of caring relatives.
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@KarenAnne Thank you. I'm afraid you misinterpreted the story, though; no one is stating or implying that our relatives do not care, in this situation or otherwise.
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I've been wrapped all day in the exquisite beauty of what it took to build this warm, safe nest.
I'm a breast cancer survivor who has struggled through chemo and the aftermath of treatments. Your words are a balm to my heart and soul like none that have come before. Thank you for such light.
Peace, love and abundant health to you and your daughter.
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@KGM Thank you so much; that really means a lot to me. Sending good wishes for health & strength back to you! <3
Thank you for this, such a beautiful story and intimate glimpse in to your life....the life cycle of renewal in nature.
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@Suzie Thank you for reading, and for the kind, thoughtful words.
Absolutely Beautiful!
Thank you for being such a great parent to your amazing daughter while coping with your fight against cancer.
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@RB Thank you so much!
Lovely, careful memoir. Thank you for sharing this affirming moment in you and your daughter's life.
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@Razzledays What a nice compliment. Thank you for reading!
I know you are going to have many more years with your daughter. You're raising her so well you won't be taken from her.
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@Julia Thank you; what a very kind thing to say.
We collected my shaved hair and put it in an envelope. I told my husband that if it did not grow back (8% of chemo patients lose their hair permanently), he would have to glue each hair back in place individually.
My hair grew back, but I've still got the envelope just in case.
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@soozzie I also saved a little piece of my hair, in a Ziploc bag... in case. Wishing you good health & strength!
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Thank you for this lovely story.its wonderfully written; vivid and authentic, full of love and hope.
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@Carol Thank you so much for the kind words. They are deeply appreciated.
How beautiful. Thank you
PS. I use the bits and pieces of crocheting project. The most colorful birds nest are in my area.
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@sjs Thank you. And what a lovely idea! I can picture it perfectly.
Thank you so much for this beautiful story. I brought tears to my eyes. Wising you great health and a long life with your darling daughter.
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@Jean That is so sweet of you; thank you!
Into year 3, year 5 is finally imaginable.
Thank you for sharing your story, and your daughter. I don't have any children and stories of others' forthright, generous, intelligently connected into nature, offspring give me hope for our world.
Blessings on you both.
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@maybemd Thank you so much. Sending blessings back to you, and wishing you good health and strength. <3
Poetic, courageous, and absolutely touching. OK ‘m not a seer but,
I see you and your daughter collaborating on a children’s book based on the beautiful telling of your journey coupled with her caring and creative response.
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@Susanna Thank you for the lovely compliment — and what a wonderful idea! Hmmm... any children's book editors out there watching?? ;-)
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Thank you so much for this beautiful piece. I love your daughter’s forthright certainty and way of seeing the world. Her suggestion strikes me an imaginative yet realistic, opening way of engaging the world— so hard to do when things are scary. I’m grateful for the wisdom of both of you. All the best to you both as your journeys continue.
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@Cameron Partridge Thank you for reading, and for the thoughtful words and good wishes. They are deeply appreciated.
Just beautiful. Thank you.
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Thank you for writing so beautifully of your journey. I had the same experience 2x (2002 and 2009) for early breast cancer. I am so very grateful to be strong and healthy today. My hair was also scattered in my garden as a gesture to the healing powers of nature. The thought of tossing my locks in the trash was unacceptable. While a nest did not appear, knowing that birds did take my hair to build a home gave me reassurance.
Healing thoughts to you and your daughter. Best wishes.
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I just wish to add my good wishes to the many you have already received. Thank you for sharing your story of love and struggle with us and for being a wonderful parent to your sweet daughter. That she knew at just 2 that birds would put your lost hair to good use is a testament to your skills as a mom and a person.
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Beautiful- thank you for capturing the cancer experience in such a succinct well- written and expressive piece. Survivorship is a different, enlightened and haunted place which often defies description. I am reminded of when my hair grew back in the spring following a winter of scorched earth platinum chemo- what a joy to shave again! I have never complained about this mundane task for 30 years since those times it vanished for 4 months.
All the best to you and your exceptional daughter.
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I too was diagnosed 20 years ago with triple negative invasive ductal carcinoma. I too knew the information on the internet. Your description of your treatment is all too familiar. But I’m responding to your beautiful article to inform
you, in case you don’t know, of the research my oncologist has been engaged in for the last 12 years in NYC on treating triple negative tumors. When I hear stories like ours I am reminded that she may we’ll have saved my life. Her name is Dr. Linda Vadat and she is currently at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. I wish you and your daughter many years of long and short walks together.
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You have given more in 8 years than many parents, grandparents, and great grandparents will ever give to their off-spring. Your daughter’s intelligence, creativity, imagination, and care for the vulnerable come through loud and clear. She is a gift to the world. I thank you and I wish you the best.
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A beautiful story but I couldn't help thinking about our terrible health insurance industry. Why should anyone suffering from debilitating illness need to go through mountains of paperwork and endless phone calls trying to get their medical care paid. All I can say is "Medicare for All."
I 'm glad you are doing well, Ms. Weed.
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@citizenk Thank you. I could not agree more — and I was one of the lucky ones, to have had good medical insurance when this happened, along with the ability to navigate a maddeningly broken healthcare system. My heart breaks for the many, many people who are not so lucky.
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What a beautiful read! While life offers no guaranteeds, it does have its fair share of magic.
You are a most excellent writer!
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Thank you so much for this! I too am a survivor of triple negative breast cancer (I'm guessing this is what you were diagnosed with) and your essay is a wonderful reminder of the unexpected gifts that appear as a result of walking the difficult path of treatment and recovery.
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@Piździ Thank you for reading! Wishing you continued good health and a long, happy life. <3
Absolutely lyrical and so touching. How comforting it must have felt to see your loss transformed into warmth and comfort for a small creature and into fuel for your daughter's hope and imagination. Thank you, and to your good health!
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@Marsha That's so kind of you — thank you for the lovely words and good wishes.
A miracle within a miracle. Thank you.
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@marielle Thank you for reading!
There is a charming book by Patricia MacLachlan called, “Arthur For the Very First Time” where a character also cuts bits of her hair for birds. Your daughter (and you) are a perfect age for it. It’s short and makes a nice read aloud. The author also wrote “Sarah Plain and Tall.”
I wish you and your daughter strength, love, and happiness.
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@Nancy Thank you so much for the kind words, and the book recommendation! I'll have to to look for that one.
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What a beautiful writer and thoughtful, attentive, loving mother. May you have many healthy years together.
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@BFG Thank you very much for reading, and for the kind words... that is my wish, too.
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Wow. I am crying now. Thank you, Laurie Weed, for a beautiful piece, and yes, do keep writing for this newspaper.
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@Laurie McAndish King Thank you so much; that means a lot to me. <3
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To find this gem of hope amidst this discouraging climate ... thank you, Laurie. Thank you for your courage and devotion to your daughter during such a difficult season. Wishing you and others struggling to find the endurance to keep fighting. Suck it, cancer!
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@Sydney Thank you so much for your kind words, and for all the support. I do hope that this story is helpful and hopeful for others, especially those living with cancer and its aftermath.
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Thank you! I am so touched by your words!
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@Ann That is so nice to hear; thank you for reading.
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Wonderful recycling! And a heart-warming story. Speaking as another cancer mom, I admire your ability to describe what it's like to tackle this elusive, cruel illness and stay sane.
http://www.thecriticalmom.blogspot.com
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@MK Thank you so much. Sending love and strength to you and your family.
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Congrats on such a beautiful well written piece and for raising such an incredible daughter!!! And congratulations for being NED! I was too diagnosed with triple negative back in 2016. The fear of recurrence gets easier to deal with as time goes by. Hang in there and hug that beautiful daughter of yours.
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@Gisela Higgins Thank you so much; that means a lot to me. I am deeply grateful for all the support, especially from other survivors. Sending love and strength to you, too.
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This was lovely to read and full of so many life lessons worth reflecting upon afterwards. I hope it was a comfort to you and your daughter knowing that your hair loss and your daughter’s extraordinarily imaginative and caring suggestion for how to use it, led to it indirectly being used to sustain new life in that nest. All my best wishes to both of you and please continue your writing in this newspaper.
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@Susan Thank you so much for reading, and for the kind words and good wishes.
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Luminous and deeply moving. Thank you.
I sincerely hope you continue to receive nothing but good news.
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@Mme. Flaneuse @Mme. Flaneuse What a lovely compliment; thank you so much.
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So beautifully written. Thank you for sharing this experience and I hope your treatment works and you are soon cancer-free!
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@Vern Thank you so much. I’ve finished active treatment and am thankfully doing well now.
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I'm amazed your daughter thought of using it for bird nesting material. I'm 10 times older, and I would not have thought of that. I would have thought of donating it to a place that makes wigs for woman undergoing cancer treatment.
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@Don Wiss It’s very typical of how she thinks, and how she interacts with the natural world. I learn from her every day.
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Beautiful, thank you for sharing.
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@Monty Brown Thank you!
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This piece is very well written and your experience is perfectly explained through your words. My thoughts go to the kids who are going through this... what about the children who are dealing with this exact situation but with much less experience and wisdom and maturity as you and other adults battling this beast? When looking for articles, there is no mention of pediatric cancer. Why do you think that is? Had the roles been reversed between your daughter and yourself, how would that change things for you?
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An absolutely wonderful story that moved me to tears. This is what life is all about. Thank you, Laurie Weed!
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@Jeffji Thank you, for everything. <3
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Beautifully written post. I’ve always admired the way you paint pictures with words.
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@Maryn Thank you! That means a lot to me. <3
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Dear Mrs. Weed,
Thank you for sharing this amazing story !
I cried while reading this beautiful piece, so moving and full of vibrancy, hopefulness, and courage. The great symbolism of how your hair was used in a bird nest that remained intact when spring had came, truly shows that nature has truly confirmed that you are a strong woman physically and emotionally to hold up your condition and while having a great sense of humor with your daughter despite the turmoil. Hope you are well and you are surely in my prayers, much love !
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@Jenn Thank you for reading, and for your lovely, thoughtful comment. It means a lot to me.
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An incredible story, beautifully told, by a mom with remarkable fortitude. Hopefully your prognosis will continue to improve, and if at all possible give you more peace of mind.
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@Garry Thank you so much for reading, and for the kind words. I’m NED now and my prognosis is much improved. Working on the peace-of-mind part...
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Your piece is truly wonderful and so very poignant in this age of so much uncertainty. I so hope you are feeling well today and that cancer is now not a daily word, though I suspect it's always there in the periphery. My mother was a survivor too, and I shaved her head as it came out in random clumps. I was 20 years old at the time. Had I been 7 like your daughter, I'd like to imagine she would have done what you and your precious girl accomplished with a practical, but oh-so poignant, gift of hope and purpose.
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@didaink Thank you so much for your kind words. I am very sorry you had to watch your own mother go through a similar experience; it’s a very hard thing at any age. I have no doubt she drew great strength from her love for you — it’s what mamas do.
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Thank you Ms. Reed for sharing these thoughts. Your daughter's kind-hearted wisdom linked to the rough and challenging rebuilding of your health sends a strong message of hope.
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@Jerre M. Thank you for reading, and for your sweet and thoughtful words. Deeply grateful to be here.
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