I am a brother in a family of five. My family consists of my mother, father, younger brother, and younger sister so, I am the eldest sibling. This means although I am not involved in every sibling confrontation, I am in a majority of them. Sometimes I get dragged into these situations and I am forced to either moderate the situation or pick a side in the situation. When this happens, the situation quickly turns to World War Three and my parents see the need to quickly place themselves in the conversation. This article shows a better way to go about conflicts for my parents so I will show my parents this article in hopes of a better change in my household.
It is inevitable that siblings will fight, especially at a younger age. My brother and I are two years apart and have always been close, but have also definitely gotten in many fights. When we were younger my parents would always force us to make up. If we didn't, there would be a consequence that would follow. However, if something was reoccurring they would hear us out and try to resolve the problem. When I was younger my brother would always annoy me by taking my belongings. I would smile at first and ask politely to have it back but the longer he dragged it on, the more frustrated I became. He would then play the victim and say he was "just joking" and that I was laughing all along. He gave me my belongings back at the last minute before my parents called us down to talk about it. My parents would always tell me to "chill out" and say that I was overreacting. We both needed to apologize and hug it out. I felt very annoyed afterward but I also didn't want another consequence to follow so I would drop it after a little period of time. Now that I am 15 and my brother is 17, we barely fight. We get along very well and tell each other everything. Whenever we get in a fight now, it usually lasts 5 minutes where we end up laughing or just forgetting about it in the end. Therefore, I would not want my parents to handle our fights any other way than they did because if they hadn't always made us makeup, I don't think we would've had as close of a relationship as we do now.
Being the middle child, it is easy to be both the victim and the initiator in sibling conflicts. Often with my older sister, who is four years older, it is about tasks at home or an opinion on a specific issue. Most often the conflict starts with, "could you please". It usually went something among the lines of saying no, not having good reasons for rejecting, calling each other mean or selfish, and not talking the rest of the day. My younger sister, who is only 2 years younger, and I fight at least once a day, ranging in severity from a silent disagreement to sleeping in another room for the week. And how could my dad, or my mom, be any help in these situations? Especially considering that they don't know the whole story. Then they end up picking sides for the wrong reasons, and no matter what, one sibling will end up satisfied and smug while the other angry and yelling "that's not fair". The job of a parent in these situation should just be about regulating the fight, making sure that it doesn't go too far or physical. If necessary, a parent should diffuse the situation by providing a distraction away from the fight.
My siblings and I, even though we're about 9 years apart still manage to fight. It’s just a natural thing that's going to happen. With time those are the things that you can go back and laugh at. Parents in my opinion don't need to be involved so heavily in every fight we have. Maybe a comment or two, but after that they should let the children work it out for themselves.
At times I feel like that's more easy. Usually when parents get involved with our arguments it only makes things worse. Then you're opening up the possibility of them getting mad themselves and getting you in even more trouble. In most cases probably making the fight worse because now your mad that they started this and you got in trouble for it.
Chances are if you just leave us to it we will eventually figure it out and realize how stupid the thing we are fighting over is.
Sibling conflicts are inevitable in a family; however, a parent’s approach to the matter varies among families. I’m the youngest of four sisters in my household. Usually, people would think I would get my way out of all the conflicts, but I actually do not. Rather than conversing with each other, my sisters and I are taught to listen to the older one in the situation. Ever since I was born, I was taught the beliefs of Confucianism because our household was based around a collectivist culture, and my opinion rarely gets conveyed at the dinner table. I fear that my parents will condemn me for disagreeing with my older sisters, so I tend to be mindful of the comments I make towards my sisters. Before parents can be sportscasters and intervene in sibling conflicts, the parents must emphasize sibling harmony—where the siblings work together as a team and not separated. No one should have to feel that their opinion will be overlooked by their parents because this notion will only deteriorate a child's confidence. Even though a parent’s involvement in a conflict may help resolve the situation, the situation does not get resolved in a way where both sides’ views are equally conveyed and understood.
My brother and I fight a lot. Think about any topic, and I can guarantee you we have at some point argued about it. It doesn’t even matter the importance of what we argue about, it could be as trivial as who gets the television remote. We are less than two years apart, him the older sibling, but he will hold onto those 19 months like it’s life or death. It’s a constant power struggle between us. We even argue about who started the argument! Unfortunately this is all my parents see. The times where we are together alone is often when we are the closest. My parents never get to see us act friendly to one another. They never get to see us do kind acts for one another. And most of all they never get to see us not arguing. So, I don’t blame them for assuming that every interaction will result in an argument. I wish they didn’t think this way because it makes us not even want to talk with one another. My dad was an only child, and that lack of what it feels like to have a sibling makes it difficult for him to understand where we are coming from. Usually, when we argue my annoyed parents just send us to our separate rooms so that they can have their peace. The issue is that we just get more angry in our rooms, and the underlying problem is left not dealt with. If my parents want to get involved with our argument, they should do so in a manner that solves the problem, and not creates more. We should be treated as equals, and not as children who don’t know better.
It’s a Sunday night. And, of course, my homework has piled up, because anything is better than math or history. I'm trying hard to concentrate and block out the other thoughts pushing their way to the front of my brain. I’m on edge, and the slightest thing will get under my skin.
The next thing I know, my obnoxious younger brother walks in yelling a song. That is the last straw. That insignificant, small little thing sends me over the edge. Of course, I must perform the obligatory big brother name calling, ridiculing, and put him in a head lock.
One of my parents enters the room, drawn like a moth to a flame by the crying and arguing. They blame one of us for the pointless ruckus - and the who gets blamed is almost always me. We both angrily skulk away - neither of us having gained anything from the argument.
If my parents were to use the “sports commentator technique,” I would have no patience for it. It would irritate me to hear them explaining how I feel. What do they know about my stress or perspectives? It would escalate the situation; and, in the heat of a feud, I would be unlikely to appreciate being the subject of a play-by-play narrated by my parents.
Alright so first off the problem with many families is the parent or child’s lack of proper problem solving skills. I’m not saying that makes them a bad parent or child it just means that they’re struggling in an area that can be easily dealt with. Most parents refuse to accept the fact that fighting between siblings is normal and they may try and force you to interact with your siblings and this is the wrong way to go about the situation. My mother does not handle conflict situations between my sister and I in a way that I would agree. Our family justice system is based off of age and what you’re expected to know and expected to do. The injustice aspect of this comes into play when my little sister does something wrong such as stealing my clothes and my initial reaction is to tell my mom although I already know what she’s going to say. “She’s your sister and that what family does” but on the other hand if I were to take her clothes I would get ridiculed. This way of problem solving causes a rift between siblings and makes the problem worse than it was to begin with.
Having a sister leaving to college and becoming the oldest child, has made me realize that no matter what you have to say your parents are always going to believe my younger siblings.To me I believe that my parents can deal with a conflict in a good and bad way. The reason I say this is because, I currently have a younger brother that is 14 and or most of the parts we get along pretty well. Me and him usually don't fight alot but when we do fight it tends to get a little crazy, I feel like we always end up arguing about having to share things or telling each other what to do. Every time my mom or dad heard us arguing about something the first thing that will come out of her mouth is “give me y'all's phone”. To me I think that my parents could do a better job at trying to fix the conflict by making us apologize to each other instead of going right to “ give me y’all’s phone”, because that always just makes it a beiger conflict between me and my brother. Sometimes I just wish my parents could see that we just need a moment to figure things out on our own instead of reacting and saying something that is going to make us even more mad.whenever I have my own kids I feel like I will let them figure it out on their own and if it gets out of hand then I will explain to them that they need to be respectful, understanding, and patient with each other.
My sister and I fighting?? What?? My sister and I fight quite often. Usually when we fight, it’s about something dumb like “I was on the couch first”, “I called shotgun first, and plus you got it earlier”, and many other things. The fights tend to start verbally and then end up with pushing. It is not helpful when my parents get involved because they end up disagreeing with each other and then the situation only gets worse.
I believe parents should try to let the kids work it out unless it gets out of control. This will lead to my sister and I hopefully getting along better because we will have to learn to compromise. As we grow older, I believe we have to learn how to handle things on our own without our parents getting involved.
Having a younger brother as well as an older one, we tend to share out moments of "brotherly love". While my older brother is gone and married, we don't tend to butt heads like me and my younger brother do. Because he is only two years younger, we seem to like and do the same activities, which causes competition, as well as conflict. I believe my parents don’t handle our conflict as well as they should though. Taking the role of a younger sibling, my brother loves to attempt to bother me or aggravate me. My parents understand that he is a pest, but yet are unable to inflict any punishment to stop him, which tempts him to keep doing it. I have repeatedly told my brother to not take anything from my room, much less be in my room, but yet he proceeds to walk right in with no disciplinary action from my parents. With the struggle of my parents to take action into their own hands, I am left with the opportunity to become my own decision maker and try to solve these problems with my brother by myself.
Well, first of all, I only have one older sister, and, in addition, she's older than me by 9 years, and I think it's a huge difference between ages. Apparently because we are both girls, it was easier for us to get used and deal with each other, however we didn't talk a lot and spend too much time together, so I guess we like didn't have a lot of reasons to start a fight. In my opinion, all problems were because of me, because you know, children are annoying and sometimes go crazy, so... but actually all of them didn't last too long, so our parents weren't really worrying or something about it. They also considered that they were only our own deals and we needed to solve them. But now, since she moved out and I grew up, everything became right and calm, and we are in a perfect relationships ever and I'm really glad.
Sometimes arguments will start off playful and my almost 12 year old brother can be a little soft sometimes when I say something back that might hurt his feelings. But instead of saying something back he has a very certain method of doing things in an argument he either picks something up and throws it at me or he runs at me and punches me then boom a second later he is running out of the room trying to find my Mom or Dad. But then this one time about 3 years ago changed are arguing a lot.
Part 2
I was pitching him a tennis ball in the backyard he struck out. He got very mad. Like really mad. He chucked the bat against the ground and I told him “to calm down it isn’t that big of a deal.” Well I don’t think he could have disagreed anymore. He obviously thought it was a big deal because he threw a baseball bat at me. It barely hit me but the fact that he threw a baseball bat at me got me riled up a little bit. This time he was not gonna get away he knew he had messed up this time. I sprinted after him as fast I could, him being around probably 50 pounds when I caught him he knew it was over for him. I picked him up threw him over my shoulder and I threw him across the yard and of course the only time my parents bothered to look outside was when I threw him. My parents came rushing outside asking my brother if he was okay I explained what happened and instead of taking care of it the normal way they did by saying “go to your room” they tried something new, something that was really effective for two brothers to make them think about what they have done.
Part 3
They sat up 2 lawn chairs at the corner of the street where all the neighbors and kids and everybody could see us and made us hold hands and talk it out. We weren’t allowed to stop holding hands until we came to an agreement.So my brother and I were obviously very embarrassed watching the neighborhood kids come up on there bikes laughing at us and though it was embarrassing it started to become very funny to my brother and I. We started to laugh and bond and forget about the argument. We worked out our differences very easily that day and since then we haven’t fought nearly as much. If a fight is about to start he will remind me or I will remind him “do we really want to go outside and hold hands again?” The fight usually stops there, defentiley as we have gotten older and started to “mature”.I don’t feel there is one specific way to parent your children and tell them how to stop arguing but I know in my family this concept worked and I feel it could be used well in other homes effectively.
Part 4
My brother and I get along most of the time but I would say we definitely have bad days even bad weeks sometimes. We usually fight over stupid things most of the time like “oh he stole my charger.” Or even I was sitting on this spot on the couch first.” Dumb things.
Part 1
I am 15 years old, and I have two brothers. One is 12 and the other is 17. I have a pretty good relationship with my brothers, but we do tend to fight. Our fights are usually physical or very loud. My parents deal with it pretty well when they decide to get involved which isn't that often. I think that parents should for the most part stay out of their children's conflicts and let them figure it out. I think it helps build self character by having to deal with problems on your own.
I am 15 years old, and I have a little brother who is 5 years younger than me. The relationship I have with my little brother is pretty much comprised of constant arguing for about 20 minutes; and then being the best of friends. At least until we find something else to fight about. When we fight it's mainly pointless bickering and then every now and then we might have a really big fight. Usually because my brother decides to cause trouble and I retaliate. When our parents decide to get involved they usually just yell at us and I get most of the blame because I'm the older one. My parents usually just take my phone away, and take away my brother's computer. In my opinion, this doesn't really solve the issue. Instead my brother gets mad at me for getting him in trouble and we end up staying mad at each other for awhile. I'm at the point where I don't even want to be around my brother because he is extremely disrespectful, and I don't want to get into another fight, resulting in the confiscation of my phone.
I am 17 years old, I have a twin brother and a little brother who is 14 years old. We don't tend to argue or fight about anything but when we do it normally gets bad. So bad to the point where our parents get involved, when that happens they send us to our rooms, take our phones, and turn off the wifi to our rooms. Once we have all calmed down we all go into the kitchen to talk things our and resolve the situation. Our parents never take side or choose who was wrong in the situation they just help come up with a way so that it doesn't happen again.
I'm 14 and my sister is a year and a half younger than me. We usually argue when I get really mad and only when I get really mad. Usually I just let her yell and hit me without doing anything back, yet my parents always make it seem like it's my fault too. How much should I let her continue to hurt me physically and emotionally until I fight back? They say it is my fault for "treating her bad" when we were younger. They hear about the cuts and scratches that she gives me but my sister doesn't care even after my parents talk to her about it. They say that it pains them that we don't love each other and that maybe it would help if I just let them handle it. THEY HANDLE NOTHING. They just get disappointed and tell us how we treat strangers better. It's to the point now where even when she wants to be around me or hug me, I flinch or feel a really heavy weight. I can't even stand the sound of her voice some days and I can't think straight. I don't know how to even express this to my parents anymore. They only ask me why I go to church. And they wonder why my poetry is so sad
@Montika
Having younger siblings is hard and having parents who pick sides or put everything on the older child is very nerve racking. It might be hard but try to get a better relationship with your sister. You are stuck with her for life weather you like her on not. Your guys relationship will get better as you guys grow up and mature well at least mine and my brothers did. Try to talk to your parents, maybe write them letter explaining how you feel about the whole situation so instead of talking to them so that they cant cut you off when your talking.
Throughout my life, I have struggled to find the correct way to fill the younger brother role. My older sister and I fought all the time, and looking back on it now, it was mostly due to unneeded stubbornness. Whether we had a casual argument or a full on physical brawl, my parents tended to punish us both. It was until the point when she began middle school, that my parents were mainly on my side. Then, everything was flipped. I would receive punishment and lectures like I was the only one in the wrong. There was one instance in which I had done absolutely nothing, but as I habitually took the blame, something in side just snapped. My anger came over me and I tried to do my best at reasoning with my mom and dad. This was the turning point. I was able to convince my parents that my older sister and I should be forced to work things out on our own, in order to build in a relationship standpoint. Thankfully with the allowance of cooperation by my parents and the countless fights that we have been forced to work through, we are able to get along as siblings to this day.
Growing up with 6 siblings and being the middle child, I'm very much use to fighting and arguing with my siblings. Many times we can't deal with the conflict because of the classic rule that "the oldest sibling is always right," so we turn to our parents to make the final verdict (unless the other sibling gets there first). For example, my little brother likes to hit me several times out of no where by hiding in a corner until I walk by him. When I get hit, the automatic, reflexive response is to hit him back and that's when the crying begins. He then plays the "she hit me," card and since he's younger than me then it is my fault for not being mature. My parents typically believe that the one that gets to them first is the one in the right because it must have hurt them the most, whether it be physically or emotionally. Maybe if my parents used these strategies there would be more respect among siblings in the household so that the "first to claim victim is the victim" rule is ruled out.
My sister and I are actually very close and we enjoy each other’s company most of the time. Once when we were little, we were having the occasional sibling argument and my parents thought it would be funny to use reverse psychology by yelling, “Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!” Their tactic worked because my sister and I immediately stopped our argument. We were onto another mission: to stop Mom and Dad from being so annoying. Forgetting about our previous differences, we joined as a team to get them to stop. In the end, their silly reaction made us realize how silly our argument was.
1
My sister and I used to fight all the time. She is just 19 months younger than me, so we are equal in almost everything. Our parents would always intervene and make us apologize to one another regardless who was right and who was wrong. They wouldn't let us stay mad at one another, and always forced us to tell the other that we forgave them. Instead of this approach, I wish they would have let us work it out on our own or have tried the sportscaster approach. When me and my sister hid our fight from our parents, we would forget about it and forgive each other within an hour, but when our parents intervened, we would hold grudges most of the day, if not longer. When I am a parent, I will allow my kids to try to work it out on their own, and if that fails, then I will try to "narrate like a sportscaster". Kids are smart, they are able to compromise and forgive each other on their own. When parents become involved in a fight between their kids, at least one child is going to be punished, which brings grudges and frustration toward the other sibling, which then makes it even harder to forgive them and move on.
yes, i have had conflicts with my siblings before. all of my siblings were close we rarely had problems but when we did we will exchange words and stop speaking to each other until we were over the situation. we never tried to get revenge back on the next person. our conflicts were never super big to the point were our parents had to step in and take matters into their own hands.
My sister and I have a very close bond. Being only two years apart and thinking the same way, really forges a life-long relationship. Yes, we have our ups and downs. We fight over clothes, shoes, and words that we have said to each other. We usually end up laughing or just giving each other some space. It usually works when we are home alone, but when our parents are with us they seem to think that they should interfere. At that point, my sister and I usually know how the small conflict end. My dad brings us out and asks us what the problem, which in reality is a good tactic, but he easily gets angered, so it usually ends up badly. My mom also asks us what is wrong but she doesn't listen to me or my sister. Both of my parents approach the problem as an annoyance and just want us to shut up. They never try to see what the underlying cause of the problem is and just send us off to our rooms. But in the end, my sister and I usually end up solving the conflict by ourselves. If my parents wanted to interfere, they should but in a responsible, unbiased, placate way. Make us feel like we are equal to them. Not children.
My parents are overall very good at resolving sibling conflicts, except for a few specific arguments where they always fall short. My siblings and I don't really fight that much, and I think it’s because my mom would use a similar tactic to the one described in the article. She wouldn’t raise her voice, and she would simply talk with us about what we were feeling.
As we have grown into teenagers, however, our arguments have shifted topics. Instead of “she took my toy,” it’s “can we implement socialized medicine effectively in America.” My parents have a hard time keeping us civil on such important issues when our beliefs differ so greatly. I believe it’s a lot to anyone to try and keep arguments like that civil, but if anyone could do it, it’s my mom. She does what she can to make sure each of our points are heard, and she calms us down when our voices get raised.
The method of conflict resolution the author describes is very effective, and I’m living proof. I’m not sure how well it holds up when you get into arguments that aren’t about personal conflicts, though, and those can’t be ignored. Everyone knows that kids today are more politically involved than they have been in the past, so more political arguments among siblings will naturally come with that. This “Sportscaster” method is effective, but I don’t think it’s a blanket, one-size-fits-all solution.
I can relate to this article very much because I have a sibling thats less than a year older than me, and by less than a year I mean eleven months and eighteen days. Our type of relation is actually pretty fascinating. My sister and I are Irish twins ( siblings born less than a year apart) ; as far back as I can remember there wasn’t really a time we didn’t fight. My sister and I are close in many ways but we also do our fair share of arguing as well.
My sister and I argue on the daily. it’s almost like we find a way to fight about everything. Even the silliest things like who gets to eat the last pancake, who gets to ride shotgun on the way to school, who has to get the dog back inside because he’s barking or even yelling at the other one threw the door of the bathroom because they are taking to long the list goes on and on, just ask my parents.
My Parents handle us fighting in many different ways, it really depends on their mood. When reading this article my parents sound more like the “ Instead Of “ section. Although the nicer way sounds very calming and soothing, to me it sounds more like a dream. I don't think I've ever met anyone who talk to their children like. I think this way of speaking to fighting in this manner is ineffective. I feel as though being stern is apart of the process.
How well did my parents deal with my siblings and i arguments? Not that well to be honest i come from a family of 8. I have 5 other siblings I am the second oldest. Let’s say me and my brother were fighting over a box of crayons and we were screaming and hitting each other. they would just take the crayons or toy from both of us and say if you can’t share then neither of you can have it. This strategy worked 25%/100% because we would just argue some more over who got the toy taken away. I actually have not gotten into an argument because I no longer speak to my siblings but my most recent argument was with my sister because she had my leggings and claimed that they were hers so i got really mad and slammed the door so loud that u could hear it from outside.my mother came into the room and took it from both of us and said now u can both wear jeans. I fight a lot with my siblings it's just mandatory i don't know why but to be complete fighting actually pulls us together.
Aidan Gosselin The Greene School
Hi, my name is Aidan and I am 14 years old and I have a 6 year old brother. Me and him will usually fight over dumb things and i know that they are not good reason to argue about. The things we argue over are things like who can get done with something first. Most of the time it has to do with video games.
When my mom heard us arguing my mom will do her best to stop us and i will listen to her because I do not want to get on her bad side, on the other hand, my little brother will do anything to continue the argument and them my mom will get frustrated with him allowing the argument to fully stop until the next one comes along. We do not argue often but when we do it does not last long.
When my mom it trying to split us up and have us forgive each other most of the time, and if it isn't right away eventually we will get over it. she says calm, but if it is on and off eventually she will start to get mad and will do anything to stop pus from arguing. The worst argument me and my brother have got in is when i was younger and he wanted to play with my toys, now i don't care but at the time it got me a little mad so i started to tell him that he can play with his toys and not mine.
@Aidan Gosselin i can relate to this, when me and my sister argued one time my mother also tried making us stop and i stopped because i didn't want my mom getting upset so i tried ignoring my sister but she continued trying to argue and pick a fight with me. me and my sister argument don't last that long we will just stop speaking and start to talk and joke once the conflict has died down with us
I have two sisters. Naturally, like every other family my siblings and I get into arguments a lot. Over the years it has become part of our daily routine. It goes like this; one of my sisters does something to make me or my other sister mad. We tell them to stop. They don't stop. Then we start arguing, my parents come to see what is going on, and we work it out and nobody holds a grudge. The reason this process is so short and works so well is because of the 15 years that my parents have spent figuring out what works, and what makes the situation worse. My parents seem to use the same strategies spoken about in this article. they appeal to both sides of the argument, causing both of us to realize that our argument is pretty dumb and then we end up apologizing. Like my friend JC Speight said, "I'll go one direction and she'll go the other."
My sister and I have a fairly decent sibling-ship. Yeah, we love each other and we stick together during the tough times. But, when my sister and I fight, terror is unleashed. Now, my parents are divorced, so over the years they have adapted their own way of "handling" the situation. My mother takes the route of a calm and collected reasoning. She remains calm (most times) and deals with the situation in a tranquil way. My father on the other hand, now that's a different story. My sister and I know well that if we fight around dad there's gonna be a problem. What will usually happen is my dad brings us both together resolves the conflict and makes us "hug it out". Hugging it out is easily one of the most uncomfortable situations two siblings have to be put in. Two already angry siblings being made to hug awkwardly for a torturing 5 minutes. And the craziest part is THAT IT WORKS. After the first 2 minutes we're already over the battle and quarreling and bickering will come to a stop. Then after the 5 minute is up i'll go one direction and she'll go the next, and just like that the altercation we had just minutes before seems to dissolve.
1
My sister and I have a fairly decent sibling-ship. Yeah, we love each other and we stick together during the tough times. But, when my sister and I fight, terror is unleashed. Now, my parents are divorced, so over the years they have adapted their own way of "handling" the situation. My mother takes the route of a calm and collected reasoning. She remains calm (most times) and deals with the situation in a tranquil way. My father on the other hand, now that's a different story. My sister and I know well that if we fight around dad there's gonna be a problem. What will usually happen is my dad brings us both together resolves the conflict and makes us "hug it out". Hugging it out is easily one of the most uncomfortable situations two siblings have to be put in. Two already angry siblings being made to hug awkwardly for a torturing 5 minutes. And the craziest part is THAT IT WORKS. After the first 2 minutes we're already over the battle and quarreling and bickering will come to a stop. Then after the 5 minute is up i'll go one direction and she'll go the next, and just like that the altercation we had just minutes before seems to dissolve.
Parents intervening in their kids problems is got to be hard to deal with, I wouldn't really know because I am a kid myself. But from my point of view my parents deal with me and my brother very well. In this article it talks about how parents “should” deal with their kids problems and how to talk to them. In my opinion there is no one way to deal with kids because all kids are different and the way that the parents deal with them is up to them. It's also how they see fit and what works with their kids.
If I was a parent then I think you would have to try new things with your kids and see what works best with them. For example, let's say I try what is said in the article and my kids respond poorly with me not helping im not going to keep trying till they get it. I would try getting involved with them and finding a solution to their problem. In the article they use throwing the cards on the ground so for me I might go in there and pick up the cards myself. If my kids see me cleaning their mess they will problem feel bad and what kid wants their parents cleaning their mess? I say this because I know from experience that this is a bad feeling and then i'll try to do it. I think this is a good way to bring my kids closer and if you keep cleaning up then they will stop. But if this does not work for you try something new, find a way to help them stop fighting be creative.