My theory of life is you can be crabby or kind.
It is easy to be crabby about everything and find fault
It is easy to be nasty
Or you can tell someone they have a nice smile, wave at a child and see their reaction, help someone in need
It is easy to do a kindness
I told a young lady on a subway that she had snazzy socks and she laughed
It stayed with me all day
Or you can avoid reality and listen to your music and bob your head like a bobble head oblivious to reality...check your phone in a manic compulsive manner...
It is easy to be kind and thoughtful
There will be people who react negatively to your kindness, ignore it, snarl at you...but that is their problem
Vietnam Vet
20
@Michael This is wonderful Michael and so true. I do find it is easy to be kind as well. Either one is like a muscle.
4
I read this week’s entries while having a drink on Bologna’s Piazza Maggiore. A few minutes later I was entering the nearby cathedral and right in front of me a young woman and her boyfriend (?) were being turned away since she was wearing a top which revealed her shoulders. They were visitors and the cathedral was closing soon. I had earlier purchased a shirt which had caught my eye so took it out of my shopping bag and offered it to the young lady. She was initially a bit embarrassed to accept it but put it on - it was way too big for her but it did the job - and was thrilled to be able to explore the church. Half an hour later she found me sitting on one of the pews and returned the shirt and we had a lovely conversation. Not exactly the same as the generosity of the book given to the little girl, but I like to think that the story reminded me that it doesn’t always take much to make someone’s day.
22
You are a quiet hero!
5
On our first deployment to the Philippines we drove from PA through the country to CA to fly to Clark Air Base. On the road at some point mid country one of our suitcases came loose from the roof of our station wagon and we were unaware until we stopped for gas along the way. We started driving back in hopes of finding it and a car going in the opposite direction kept honking at us, we turned around, they turned around, we kept passing each other until finally we met at a restaurant and they found our suitcase, full of diapers (no disposables in those days), baby clothes, etc. We would have gone broke trying to replace them. We bought them their dinner, a nice family who told us the suitcase opened and they stopped to gather all of the stuff that fell out. Talk about good Samaritans ... God love those dears hearts!
15
About ten years ago I was flying cross-country. I sat in a window seat, a boy (elevenish) next to me, his dad on the aisle, all three of us nose down in our books. At some point I asked what he was reading. He told me, and we chatted about children’s books; I asked if he had read the “Little House” books, which I had only discovered when my daughters were young, since I was one of two brothers. He said he had, since he had a sister, and liked them very much. His father glanced over proudly. We returned to our reading.
When it was lunch time they had airline meals and I brought out the lunch I had packed, eating neatly over paper towels on my tray table. But when I cracked my hard-boiled egg it turned out to be quite runny – not raw, but by no means hard. He noticed, of course, but was too polite to stare or say anything. After I had cleaned up – no damage done – I turned to him and asked if he had read “Ramona Quimby, Age 8,” in which Ramona cracks an egg against her head at lunch, as all the kids did, but it turns out to be raw. He laughed, said he had, and his father beamed at us, two travelers sharing a literary allusion on an airplane.
17
My eye doctor has a box in the waiting room thats full of books, books to take and a place to drop off books for others to read. In my rural area several people have built cute boxes next to the road , sort of looks like a decorated mailbox but its a free book drop off; Take one and you can leave one.
All over the country now their is access to free books but then I don't live in a huge city.
7
The Princess Bride....perfect movie for a couple who were meant to be together.
Sometimes things we think are lost -- like true love and sparkly earrings -- are found in wonderfully surprising ways.
In the midst of the daily national horror show we're living, these stories give us back our hope and our ability to see the good in life, and they renew our faith in human kindness.
Emily Dickinson wrote:
“Hope” is the thing with feathers –
That perches in the soul –
And sings the tune without the words –
And never stops – at all –
19
When I was working full-time, my appointment book was full of appointments, sometimes 3 or 4 a day, some made weeks in advance. I called it my "bible." About 10 years ago, I lost it and started planning how I would have to call my doctors and all my current customers. A bus driver called me, saying he had found the book, and that he would be on Hartsdale Ave. near the train station at 2:45 the next day. As he drove down the street, he stopped for a moment, I reached up to his window and he handed me the book.
24
Now, more than ever-a cliche for sure, but NOW more than ever, we need to find the good in our friends and neighbors and especially in strangers. We are being inundated with bad news, negative news, horrible news, but....there are a lot of really decent people out there, and this should be celebrated, especially now.
27
One story reminded me of the strange morning I left for work 45” early for no reason, & had a blowout on the freeway during rush hour. Miraculously I navigated instantly to the tiny break down lane, then proceeded to loosen the lug nuts of the shredded tire which were too tight to move. I walked to a emergency phone and called and waited. And waited. Then a classic BMW 2002 drove up behind me, and a young handsome fellow got out, He proclaimed he had seen me on the opposite side of the freeway and had done an errand, yet could not believe no one had helped me so he came back. While he quickly switched tires, a CHP officer drove up, saying he was checking I was safe. Soon both left, surprisingly I made it to work on time. The word serendipity played in my head that day.
21
Forklift drivers! When the top deck of the freeway collapsed in Oakland in the Loma Prieta earthquake and people were trapped on the lower deck with no way down, forklift drivers from nearby warehouses came and lifted them to street level.,
26
Yes! I remember! Only a strange coincidence prevented me from being on the Bay Bridge on my commute home to San Francisco that evening. One that I’ll never forget. EVERYBODY was kind that night.
11
An earring, The Princess Bride, and true love - Inconceivable!
23
I give away my books all the time. I write books so people will read, not pay for them. I hope this was a breakthrough. I hope you give away many more books.
TD Allman
7
Once, in my frequent absent minded state while running a business in LA, I had foolishly sat my wallet on the bumper of my truck.
Multiple miles later, I realized what I had done and attempted to backtrack my route in hopes of finding it. It was a card folio, so no cash, but also had insurance papers, licenses etc.
My search came up empty and I was dreading all the calls, the DMV trip etc, when my cell phone rang.
A gentleman found my business card and called me to tell me he had my wallet. When I went to meet him on Pacific Avenue in the Venice/Santa Monica area he told me that everything had fallen out and was scattered along the street for half a block or so.
I was so grateful and I can not tell you how much time and headache was saved by that kind man taking the time to gather things on behalf of my foolish absentmindedness.
28
The Metro Diary is a perfect antidote after the rest of it. Take it immediately after consuming 'the rest of it'.
29
We had a similar experience to Something Shiny. Our daughter and her family were visiting us at our winter home in Florida. Her husband went out to do some shopping and rode away with his wallet on the roof of the car. Next morning, his wife and my wife went out and drove the same route he had driven earlier. On their way back, his wife thought she spotted something at the side of the road and they stopped to check it out. Sure enough, there was the wallet in the roadway, tucked at the curb, all papers and cash untouched. What are the odds?
19
That forklift story... wonderful!
43
@Rodrian Roadeye It was my favorite!
1
After reading the rest of the news, I sure as Hell needed this reminder that this world is largely populated by intelligent, kind Humans..
54
The first story reminds me of the several times that I have been given, or myself given, objects that end up with more inherent value than just the value of the object, A used book, a copy of a favorite children's story that was not only a first edition, but also signed, casually given to me by a friend who frequents yard sales, " it was for a dollar and I remembered when you talked about it being out of print" or the straw sun hat that my elderly aunt admired on me that I freely gifted to her. After her death I found it in a hatbox with a note, "I love this hat, Make sure it gets back to Marie". Both brought me to happy tears.
44
The gift of books can be so powerful. I tutored a young lady for a few years when I was a student and young adult. I had given her many books during our time together. As an adult, she reached out to me and told she kept those books (among other things) as treasured items. I was a puddle after that conversation. I had no idea what I meant to her as a little girl and so glad that I could instill so much joy and great memories for her. Ever since then I tell people to never underestimate the impact they have with their acts of kindness.
36
So sweet of Ms Chilukuri to give that little girl that book. She'll treasure it for always and always and remember Ms Chilukuri's generosity for years. I can imagine the little girl telling all her friends the story of how she came by the book. And maybe, when she's all grown up, introducing it to her children and telling them the story of how she came by the book.
Ms Chilukuri has set an example for many people, including us.
42
@Derek Flint I was once on the subway and just spontaneously gave a just bought copy of ‘Black Robes White Justice’ to an African-American teen boy I felt could use it. I told him read this it’s important. That was it!
32
Oh the story of the lost earring! I know so well the pain, then disbelieving triumph, of finding something I originally thought was lost for good. It always makes me think of Naomi Shihab Nye's beautiful poem, "Yellow Glove."
20
Awkward Proposal like a mini O Henry.
27
Ok, but, no one warned me I was going to burst into tears at the end of the first letter. Giving the gift of books, and enthusiastic engagement with kids in real conversation, is so important. That young reader will remember that moment for a really long time.
78
@WWD. During a huge depression, I was out one day and an older very attractive woman had on a maroon velvet beret. For some reason, I told her how beautiful she looked with her beautiful hat. It was stunning. Rich silk velvet. Cared for. Now I’m that older woman, and that hat she gave me sits upfront where I dress everyday. I’m no longer depressed. I bless her everyday. And I donate all I can, books included, to struggling women, homeless or otherwise, and hope, just hope for them that things turn out well. Yes, I had tears for both that little girl and the heart felt gift of a book on the subway as well when I read that. Until I read this story, I felt guilty accepting the hat she insisted I take. Now I know.
92
@Ray
Dear Ray,
Thank you for sharing your painful experience with us so eloquently. The fact that you continue to give of yourself to struggling and homeless women suggests to me that both your burgundy velvet hat "benefactoress" and you are both kind of priestesses of kindness and good in this world. She must have recognized this instantly in your eyes, and that is why she immediately passed you the beautiful velvet hat. She was passing you a torch. And I am sure the world is that much better for your acts of kindness in it.
Sincerely,
Elissa S.
48
I appreciate the tire change/forklift story. There seems to be some mysterious connection between 2y/o and workers.
Many years ago, while in the car, my 2y/o grandson pushed the car key fob lock button, locking his mom outside the car. She called AAA and while waiting for help, entertained the boy by making faces and talking to him. He was getting restless and starting to fuss when the repairman arrived. The man hauled out his tools, and my grandson brightened up immediately and crowed, "man working!"
49
@cecelia
Rule #1. NEVER leave a child in the car even if it just "a minute" Hope you learned your lesson.
3
@Horatio Pelenur Sometimes scolding doesn't facilitate the lesson...often the lesson teaches itself.
But at least you feel better, right? I do (now) as well.
37
@Horatio Pelenur
How do you lift a child out of the car seat in the back without getting out of the car while the child is in it?
37
Ah, The Princess Bride, a touching movie accompanying a touching story. As you wish.
33
These stories bring to mind the spiritual principle of surrender which addicts and alcoholics learn to live by through a twelve step program. Here are stories of people who know how to surrender without having to hit bottom as an addict. God bless them.
20
I always love these stories. My impression of the accompanying drawings is that they always depict “white” people, usually suggested to me through the hairstyles. Some variety there would enrich this glimpse into the city.
69
Why wasn’t Metropolitan Diary in my (Long Island) edition that is delivered to my home? It’s always in section 1. Now I had to find it digitally!
8
It’s in the Metropolitan section which is delivered in NYC on Saturday or available to all on Sunday. That change is permanent, so I hope you don’t miss it!
8
These tales of generosity and good-heartedness are wonderful. Thank you!
43
I love the story about the impulsive gift of the Lemony Snickett book given on the subway. Reminds me of a beautiful shawl I once gave to a stranger on the bus. At work that day, I had complimented a co-worker on this lovely garment, and she astonished me by asking, “Would you like to have it?” So the shawl was folded neatly on my lap as I headed home in the bus that day when a woman near me pointed to it and said it was a really beautiful shawl. I couldn’t help myself — I immediately said “”Would you like to have it?” as I handed it to her. She looked as stunned by the offer as I had been, and I explained, “That’s exactly how I got the shawl! Obviously there’s somewhere it needs to be, and it has a plan for getting there!”
107
@CL
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants....only with a shawl.
12
Who needs a forklift? My two year old son was in stitches when the gas station attendant cleaned the windows! (He paid special attention to the rear passenger side.) Of course, then he gave him a snickers bar that was bigger than his head. Sigh.
I still take my car there to be serviced. How can you not patronize a business that made your child so happy?
94
@Judith
I remember sitting in the back seat of my parent's car being mesmerized by the attendant squeegeeing the windows. They were always so much quicker at it than my Dad and never missed a spot!
4
I hope this doesn't offend, but all the reports on the Sondheim Town Hall event last night (prices too rich for my blood, though, but it was a benefit) make this run through my head.
"Send in the Clown"
Isn't this bliss?
A green-card pair?
Who thought a spouse might be here
In my pied-à-terre?
Send in the clown.
It might be a clown.
(bridge)
I roamed the halls
Knocking on doors
Who knew if I had moved faster my name might be yours?
Each time I walked down the foyer, the guy was so near,
Why did I wait?
You were right here.
Isn't it weird
That all along
Seems the idea was all right, the timing all wrong.
You were the right clown.
I asked the right clown.
That's my sad song.
72
@Freddie
Fabulous, Freddie!! And very Sondheim-like.
Elissa
16
Thank you, Freddie.
No, it does not offend.
Now, thanks to you, I have Judy Collins’s version of “Send in the Clowns” going through my head, but with your new lyrics. Love it. :>)
Dean
20
@Freddie
Just right!
5
Moving Metropolitan Diary to the Sunday paper tastes like New Coke.
30
@Raised Eyebrows
Everything doesn’t have to be changed. Monday’s were great with Metropolitan Diary. Shame on you NYT.
@Raised Eyebrows Metropolitan Diary was in the Sunday paper for many years. It was a Sunday treat for me. I was very disappointed when it was changed to Monday -- the New Coke to me. Sunday feels like a much better day for it.
1
I look for forward to reading the MD on Mondays with my national print edition. The column didn't move to Sunday permanently, did it? Very unfortunate if it did. The column makes my day on Mondays. You could argue, "Oh, just read your online edition on Monday after work." It wouldn't be the same, everyone over 50 knows that. Thanks for reconsidering... Tp
36
Only the last story has the juice I expect from Metropolitan Diary. Writing these things is an art.
6
@Passion for Peaches
It’s not clear in what year that last story happened, but with cell phones and AAA, it’s hard for me to relate.
The first story, however, stays with me...
12
yl,
I’m Ivo’s wife. This happened summer 2017. We have Geico with free towing and road side assistance but my husband likes doing things himself. That’s how he was raised. He’d rather get all sweaty and dirty than “humiliate himself” by calling our insurance over something this “trivial”. He also told me he was certain that it would have taken twice as long for someone to come than him changing the tire. I’m pretty sure he would have called in after sitting defeated on the sidewalk for a while.
87
@yl, I was talking about the rhythm and spirit of the little piece. It’s a subtle thing, but that writer got it (in my opinion).
5
I wish I could have seen that forklift lifting up the car and the boy’s expression when it happened.
62
I loved each of the entries today. I had a rough day but reading them made me calm down and appreciate all the good/humorous things that can happen.
69
@elenifer
That’s just why I already started passing these along to others. We can all use stories like these. =)
4
What a lovely column! So many good people in your city and our country.
62
i love the forklift story. my two year old (now 30) would have talked about it for years.
62
@TV SPIELMAN and OPIE: I get the printed NYT on Sat and Sun but refuse to read MD on Sunday. I like to read it on line on Monday morning with my first cup of coffee to start off my week!! AND read the comments at the end of the day- another treat!
30
When an urge to strange generosity comes over you, give in. Do it. It feels very good, and the memory continues to feel good for a long time. A gift is a grand thing for the giver too.
128
@Mark Thomason
In my experience, having the urge to give, but then pulling back and not giving, leaves a feeling that lingers longer than the gift withheld. Not in a good way.
32
While I was browsing the NYT online I was surprised to come across MD on Sunday. I was dismayed when I saw there was no comments section though. I'm glad I looked again today because I love the comments as much as the diary entries.
This week I loved most of the stories. The one I was shocked by was the brazen woman writing of attempting a sham marriage. I am against people cheating the system and was quite surprised the author didn't think anything of revealing her attempts in such a widely read newspaper.
20
@Flo Cheating the system?? This system is not a moral imperative. You’re saying “follow the rules”. It’s not cheating. No one is hurt or money stolen.
26
@Flo The system itself is full of officially-sanctioned scams, ones that give the rich and powerful even more money and power, usually at the expense of those who have little of either. When people marry to stay in a country that has become their home, no one is being scammed.
16
@Janey
I meant against the law.
Really good selection this week, thanks.
16
Please move MD back to Monday's!!!!!!
27
"A Fortunate Event": I'm looking forward to reading a memoir by a woman in about 15 years explaining how the unexpected gift of a book from a stranger on a subway when she was a young girl started her on the road to reading and writing. Well done.
240
@Greater Metropolitan Area literacy is so important! There’s an amazing organization called 826CHI which actually got me writing from a young age.
27
@Greater Metropolitan Area
yes, yes, yes. And I wonder if I'll be reading it . . .
7
So much joy in these stories today!!
My son stopped crying as soon as he saw the forklift. He laughed all the way home. So did I.
Perfect end.
98
To: Siri Chilukuie (hope I spelled that correctly!),
The book, the girl, the brother and you.
Oh, how this (a cliche applies) warms my heart.
My personal library is about 10,000 books (yes, in a New York City apartment), not counting what’s on my Kindle.
I put myself right in your story, on the subway, in your mind and in the little girls mind. I have been you, inviting conversation in and I have been the curious little girl who has loved books since childhood.
I have found many books in odd places, but never ever - not once - has someone offered me a book from their own hand.
I hope that questioning girl keeps that book, as I know I would have, forever and ever and looks at it to remember who she was at that moment.
I also hope you frame this Metropolitan Diary, where your story went out into the vast world, and hold this memory close.
Lucky me, as a 7 day a week subscriber, I got to see it in the paper twice, Saturday and today!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
147
@Citygirl Aww, thank you for your kind words! I’m glad this story resonated with you.
35
A wise girlfriend calls what you experienced, an “automatic response” - an initial urge that, if not acted upon, can quickly be stifled by other impulses such as, in this case, acquisitiveness selfishness, and apathy. Your impulse was exactly right on so many levels - for her, for yourself, for the world. Bravo!
7
This column is the best. I really look forward to it each week.
83
I had just finished reading Charles Blow's compelling piece on America's "concentration camps", and I moved to reading these wonderful vignettes in the Diary. My feeling of despair for those incarcerated children has been uplifted, at least for the moment. Thanks for making my day...
68
Dear Siri Chilukuri,
Thank you for gifting your book to this little girl. I'm imagining the start of a life-long love of books.
111
@SashaD
I only lived in NYC for one year 2009-10 but my heart broke at the paucity of resources for children in the local libraries. My town of 12,000 in Colorado has a significantly better library than I found living in the UWS. My local library in NY was closed for renovations that year so I needed to go north ( very sad) or elsewhere. Although I have not lived there for a decade I still contribute to the NY public library system and I wish I could give them much much more.
27
@SashaD thank you! It was a spur of the moment decision. I was a voracious reader at her age and I hope she becomes one too!
46
Wonderful stories. I love this column!
49
Dear Siri Chilukuri,
Your Diary entry, leading off this week’s quintet of stories and recounting your impulsive and very kind gift of Lemony Snicket’s “A Bad Beginning” to the young girl you had just met on the subway, provided a very good beginning to my week. It exemplifies why I turn to the Metropolitan Diary before even looking at the Times headlines or the Morning Briefing. Nothing there would have put the smile on my face that reading your entry did, and I thank you for that.
I hope you will be the recipient of at least one random act of kindness this week and enjoy a very good one.
Take care,
Allen
142
@Allen J. Share Thank you Allen! I’m glad you liked my story.
15
The "green-card proposal" is kind of sad and kind of funny. I wonder if the author found another way (another clown?) to stay in the country.
63
@yl, I thought that piece landed with a thud.
But on the subject of greed-card marriages...40 years ago I lived in university housing that was a kind of a hippie cooperative. There were always several hangers-on who stayed there, without permission from the university and without paying for anything. Some of them were truly dodgy characters, while a few were more like stray cats — harmless and accepted, but more tolerated than adored. One of these moochers was a European guy (possibly German), who was in the US in a tourist visa. As his visa expiration date approached, he began to panic. He proposed marriage to every woman in the house. I don’t know whether he ever found a willing accomplice.
14
It's not a fraud if they ended up staying together.
13
@yl
So what we know about the clown was that he was willing to violate the law once, but not twice...
4
I'm a lifelong New Yorker yet I have never heard of a "Flagel". Can someone fill me in,please.
23
@Lazarus Long-flat bagel. Very hard to scoop because it has very little inside at all. Almost a cracker.
18
@Lazarus Long, think of an elongated bialy that is well done with not enough dough to call it a bagel.
Some diet conscious weirdo probably invented it.
A pancake with an attitude...
36
@Broz
New to me. Flagel is an antibiotic used for diverticulitis and other intestinal disorders.
40
I propose that the English language adopt the following phrase to express extreme surprise: “Well, scoop my flagel!”
172
I found out what a flagel is from google... but what is in the inside? How would you scoop it? Is it cut in half and filled like a sandwich? Or is there something filling the central hole? Help!
8
@Alyce A flagel is a very skinny bagel. Just the chewy crust with no soft inside like a bagel. You slice it in half length-wise and spread it with whatever you choose - cream cheese, butter, sandwich makings.
13
@Opie
OK, but if there's "no there there" inside a flagel, how is the thing scooped? And why?
11
That's the point the deli man was making. it is really all crust and very little that is soft.
14
Brava Siri C. on your "Fortunate [Unanticipated] Event!!" You may have sparked a life-long interest in reading, not to mention sparking creativity and opening up whole new worlds of possibility for this child (and "mentored" her brother as well) with your wonderful generosity. Well done, Ms. C!!
Elissa
84
@els Thanks Elissa! I really do believe that books are magical.
25
I look forward to reading Metropolitan Diary every Monday in my old-school, print copy that is delivered to my door step. It was bad enough when MD lost it's usual spot in the paper so one has to patiently go searching for it. But, today, it was nowhere to be found! Did I miss it somehow?
19
@YV Spielman there was a tiny announcement last week, MD now appears in the Metropolitan section of the Sunday Times. Boohoo, I loved having something to look forward to on Mondays.
30
@Opie
I missed the tiny announcement, so thank you for the clarification. I feel just as you do -- I too enjoyed knowing Metropolitan Diary would be there on *Mondays* to start the week!
18
@Opie Thank you! I'm with you; Mondays will now be much drearier.
13
I love all these, but the flat tire story is my favorite.
Because if we can't laugh, we'd cry, and we have enough tears in the world as it is. The little boy taught an important lesson about perspective that day, as did the forklift driver.
Thank you, Ivo.
131
I really enjoyed this week's entries because they seemed more like short stories, in that they all had a true ending. So many of the diaries are just that - diaries - written accounts of a snippet of life, not always tied up neatly with a bow at the end. The cynical part of me wonders whether perhaps some of these stories with the conclusive ending are contrived? The non-cynical part says who cares, just enjoy them, which I did!
23
@Shawnthedog's Mom Replying to myself to clarify - I enjoy the "snippets" of life, too, and don't need the tidy endings! They are all great. It was just that this week's were different. But I love Met Diary in all its forms.
18
Dear Shawnthedog's Mom,
I found myself with a number of questions after reading Jean Linda Balke’s entry about her “Awkward Proposal,” and wondering what the rest of the story was Did she find an alternative way to be able to remain in New York City? Did she have to move elsewhere in the country or perhaps leave the United States? If she found a way to remain here how did she accomplish this? Has she stayed in touch with her roommate at that time? Does she know whether he remained married to his Russian friend’s sister and/or the extent to which he was able to fulfill his dream? My hope is that both of them were able to find pathways to personal and professional happiness and success. But the questions linger in my mind.
This week’s group was like a little set of short stories. Stay well Shawnthedog’s Mom and have a good week.
Allen
21
I look forward to Metro Diary each Monday. It is a treasure for this rural Alabama reader. I also enjoy the comments. The Diary and comments highlight the good in humanity which is so needed. Thanks to all who share their experiences and memories. Much appreciated!
154
Dear Dorothy,
In these days of facile “blue state/red state” cliches and generalizations it is heartening to reflect on the “good in humanity” you refer to and the elements of our culture that do and can unite us.
Stay and be well.
Allen
58
@Dorothy Craven
Dear Dorothy,
Thank you for your comment. I like maps and geography, and I found Waterloo, Alabama, on the map. You're right when you said that you're a rural Alabama reader.
The Metropolitan Diary receives comments from all over the United States and from all over the world. Please comment again in the future. It's a wonderful way to look forward to each Monday.
Best wishes,
Dean from CT
19
"Something Shiny" by Laura Ratto sparked a memory for me.
My wife, a native New Yorker, was born in Manhattan. Even though she has traveled widely and has lived in Connecticut for many years, she still considers herself to be a New Yorker at heart. I, on the other hand, am a "non-native non-New Yorker." I was born and grew up in the Midwest, but I moved to Connecticut when I was young. Connecticut is home for me.
Both of us had been previously married and divorced. Two songs are appropriate here: We were "Young and Foolish" the first time, but it is better "The Second Time Around."
Soon after we were married in 1985, my wife mentioned, in an offhand matter-of-fact way, that she had never been to the top of the Empire State Building. "We’ll have to fix that," I told her.
One spring morning way back when, we took Metro-North from New Haven to Grand Central Terminal. We moseyed from Grand Central down Fifth Avenue to Washington Square Park, window shopping along the way. We ate paella at “Sevilla,” a Spanish Restaurant at 62 Charles Street. Then we walked back north on Sixth Avenue. We stopped at West 34th Street and UP-UP-UP WE WENT to the top of the Empire State Building. It was misty when we got to the top, but we could see Central Park and beyond to the north and the World Trade Towers and beyond to the south.
Then it was back to Grand Central where we caught Metro-North to return to New Haven. That was more than thirty years ago. It seems like yesterday.
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@Dean
Dean, What a nice, romantic story about you and your wife!! For me, it resonates with 3 seminal American movies that all actually or emotionally climax on that top observer deck of the Empire State building: King Kong of the 1930s (both original with Fay Wray and the wonderful, more recent Jack Black technicolor/Imax version); suave Cary Grant and magnificently outfitted Deborah Kerr meeting on an ocean liner in mid-1950s in An Affair to Remember, and the lovely, relatable couple in Sleepless in Seattle whose tentative romance is helped by a child with his computer.
Kong, of course, comes to love his doll-like lady with great protectiveness, so it is sad he must meet his demise clinging to the Empire State building; Grant and Kerr, whose meeting near the building's base is prevented by a fated (not fatal) accident, represent high romance at it best; and if we must live in an age governed by computers, well, having a computer guide us to that fateful love encounter atop the Empire State building is romantic enough for me!!
These movies are each 25-30 years apart, and they all speak to a sense of romanticism, a desire to explore and exceed known boundaries, yet of the loneliness that venturing forth engenders and of our great human (well, primate) yearning to connect that has cut a vast swath through all of American written literature and visual stories of the 20th century.
Thank you for calling forth such charming memories.
Elissa
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@Dean
This sparked a memory for me, too - the same situation (on the outs), the same movie (Princess Bride), lost silver earring, too. Different outcome: the theme of "true love " made me recognize we didn't have it. Got divorced. My ex's mom found the silver earring. Remarried and have true love - and the silver earrings 30 years later.
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@Els
I forgot to tell you last week that my high school also did My Fair Lady, which I didn’t have to prompt, because I finally got a singing part, but I know all the songs in that too! But my husband thinks I sing like a rusty screen door now.
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I sometimes look for common themes in the Metropolitan Diary. There it was, staring me in the face in the main title: "As We Approached My Stop, I Did Something I Hadn’t Anticipated."
Today’s common theme could be "unanticipated."
Number 1: In "A Fortunate Event," it was unanticipated that Siri Chilukuri would give her signed copy of "The Bad Beginning" to the young girl on the subway.
Number 2: It was unanticipated that Jean Linda Balke’s "Awkward Proposal" to her aspiring circus-clown roommate (who "had no girlfriend") would reveal that he was already married!
Number 3: It was unanticipated that Laura Ratto would find her lost silver shiny earring in the gutter.
Number 4: It was unanticipated that the counterman at Tal Bagels would remove the carby innards from the flagel.
Number 5: It was unanticipated that a warehouse worker would appear with a forklift to lift Ivo Rachev’s Honda Civic into the air.
Now I’m wondering: What unanticipated events will happen to me this week?
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@Dean, it was unanticipated that in addition to the stories, we'd see how they're brought together thematically. Now it feels obvious, now that you've said it, LOL.
The problem is now I'm going to hope for you to do this every week!
There tends to be at least one each week that's not sweetness and light. This week, the story about the "green card marriage" is somewhat troubling in that while funny, this brings to mind the people who claim there are sham marriages that have to be cracked down on - but one of the things to always cherish in the Diary is that it's not The Feel-Good Metropolitan Diary, but the 5-story tapestry keeps it all pretty real, though most often with wit.
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Dear Dean,
I always anticipate the appearance of the Metropolitan Diary for the pleasure I know each week’s stories will bring and the unanticipated glimpses into the lives of the diarists and their experiences living, working, and encountering fellow New Yorkers in and about the city. I look forward to reading the comments for the same reasons. The very welcome feature of the comments section is that it keeps growing throughout the week, making for additional unanticipated insights and surprises. It just occurred to me that on the old Mickey Mouse Club programs Wednesday was “Anything Can Happen Day.” With the Metropolitan Diary Monday is now a day “that is filled with surprises,” as are the
rest of the days of the week with regard to the comments that keep being posted.
Wishing you and all a week of good anticipated as well as unanticipated pleasures and surprises.
Allen
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@Allen J. Share
Hi Allen,
Just to let you know that around midnight on Sunday I actually replied to a comment of yours from last week's MD column about the charming Riverside Park avian neighbor.
Mine must have been the final response at number 59.
Since I do agree with you that "Anything can happen," particularly in our wonderful, dynamic, energy-infused city, and I am incurably romantic at heart, am certainly looking forward to a week of "unanticipated pleasures and surprises."
Best, Elissa
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