Bans on smoking and public drunkenness also disproportionately affect lower-income families. Doesn't mean they shouldn't be instituted.
For perspective, I went to Catholic school. The dress codes tried to dictate everything from hairstyle to facial hair to brand of clothing. It was hell to be cold all winter in a poorly-heated building because I didn't want to cough up money for the only permissible (school-branded) long-sleeved attire. Maybe yoga pants should be included in this school's parental dress code, but I don't see what's so controversial about a dress code that essentially says "wear real clothes, especially if you're an adult."
Presentable clothes are not the same thing as expensive clothes. Apparently, we as a country have an international reputation of wearing workout clothes and pajamas in inappropriate settings. If it's really an economic problem and not a cultural one, then we've got worse things to worry about than school dress codes.
44
Clothing, in general, is of very low quality at any price. Sometimes it doesn't matter if it is pajamas or dress pants, we all still look shabby. This has happened within the past 20-25 years as companies have learned how to increase thread count, while cutting the diameter of thread. You have to wear 2 or 3 layers to cover yourself.
16
In the indomitable words of Maya Angelou – “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better”. I applaud Superintendent Brown for challenging the parents to do better and set higher standards for themselves and their children. Her list can be found in any company’s employee manual under dress code. For the record, her list makes no mention of hair braids or hair extensions. As for the mother’s response, “My child’s education – anyone’s child’s education-should be more important than what someone has on”. The math doesn’t lie. Education plus low standards will always equal education with low standards. And the low standards will always command attention and detract from the education. Always.
54
What in heaven’s name is elitist and racist about asking people to get dressed before going out in public, and to be decent role models for their kids?
Ashton P Woods has extremely strange ideas if he fells that parents “likely can’t afford” to get dressed. Seriously? The principal isn’t asking people to wear designer clothes and a little Jackie Kennedy hat. She’s asking for people to get dressed. There’s a reason garments are called “streetwear” or “nightwear.” You think you or your child is going to get that job if your potential boss saw you in pajamas at Panera the day before?
I will admit that I often used to go out with wet hair because I hate using hairdryers. A visiting friend from Spain (in her early 20s) expressed such horror that I quickly repented.
54
This isn't just about policing a parrnt's dress and hair. This is about policing parents period. The principal is trying to re-engineer--re-rear the parents in hopes of having them aid her in engineering the children. Otherwise, just have have hats and overcoats that inappropriately parents can don when entering the building. The principal fufnt choose this option because she seeks to change the parents' thought process, decision making--even way of life--whivh is far afield of her charge.
15
This issue, namely that of inappropriately attired (however so defined) parents dropping off children at school has arisen in every other developed nation, including the UK, Canada, New Zealand and Australia. The question can then be asked, when reported as in this article: is every other incident of global 'pyjama-rage' associated with:
a. racial discrimination; or
b. over-zealous (?) principals trying to assert control over a challenging student body.
Maybe its a case of American Exceptionalism. I leave you to decide.
8
One day picking my son up from the public high school, one of his teachers exited the building wearing a low-cut blouse and basically falling out of it.
Until they force teachers to have a dress code, they should not force students to have a dress code, nor should they force parents to have a dress code. Let alone they should not search student lockers if they don't search teacher's belongings.
Did I mention the teacher I saw immodestly dressed was in her 50's?
5
I support this policy 100%. Good for her. Let's remember that teachers are underpaid and many of them use their person income to purchase supplies for the classroom. These teachers have also gone to great effort and expense to earn their credentials. At the very least, parents should show them the respect they deserve by dressing appropriately.
31
Dress and talk seriously if you want to be taken seriously.
57
Does this apply to Mrs Brown in that photo?
I need earplugs to look at that jacket.
11
If you see no difference between a colorful jacket and sexually revealing clothing and hair rollers, I want to know if you see a difference between a flat earth and a global one.
70
I love this!
Many of these parents shouldn't even be parents so other adults must guide them,
57
A person wouldn't show up to the White House, The Vatican, a job interview, a red carpet event in rollers or PJ's would they?? Sad but standards of presentation have eroded in society in the last several decades. Sadder still, the cluelessness, the blank stares, the lack self awareness as to why it is important. Good for Carlotta Outley Brown. I understand her motivation and purpose. But, on the other hand, the young man who's dreads were cut off, that's a different story - it reeks of animus.
27
@ Sa Ha
I would never want to take away some peoples’ pleasure at getting all gussied up. But I would rather garden, shovel, workout, walk the dog, anything that does not involve me putting stuff all over my face, fussing with my hair and use my brain power to come up with some suitable fashion choice for some event. Which doesn’t mean I can’t do it if I have to.
The idea that clothes, make up and hairdo stand for anything other than that a person spent the time on it is wrong.
My integrity or quality of person has absolutely nothing to do with how much time and money I invested in my hair.
13
@Morgan, "But I would rather garden, shovel, workout, walk the dog, anything that does not involve me putting stuff all over my face, fussing with my hair and use my brain power to come up with some suitable fashion choice for some event. Which doesn’t mean I can’t do it if I have to.". ..We agree. But PJs and houses shoes? Emergency sure, but habitually? And maybe a person may not have an awareness until someone kindly points it out.
12
I don’t know. People used to frown upon denim, then hoodies were poohed poohed. Now they are all the rage.
I live in the Canadian hood and pyjama bottoms are deliciously cutting edge. Flannel pyjama bottoms, for those fashionistas.
These days, though, I don’t think we can equate the well groomed or au courant fashionably dressed with any moral value. The esteemed First Lady did wear that ‘don’t care’ jacket on her visit to a child detention camp not so long ago.
11
@Morgan, "The esteemed First Lady did wear that ‘don’t care’ jacket on her visit to a child detention camp not so long ago."
For a woman with impeccable taste and style this was not a faux pas, no not at all - it was an insult. To her husband or the asylum seekers children. I don't know which.
22
Growing up, there was the occasional mother who showed up with curlers in her hair, but they were usually covered by a head scarf, and the moo moo covered by a coat.
We occasionally would see a father show up grubby coming right from work. We knew he was working and likely came in short notice.
Regardless of the attire, these parents generally showed respect to the school employees. Nowadays there seems to be no shame regardless of income level. Teachers glean a great deal about the importance parents place on their child’s education by the way they show up and engage. Saggy jammies gives a different impression than the folks I described above.
32
For anyone who says the school should be focusing on education and not concern themselves with external appearances, schools have taken on a tremendous responsibility to not only provide students with book education, physical education, mental support, protection from potential outside violence (and violence entering into schools) and not least teaching them self-respect and respect for others. I find that teachers are also increasingly filling in as substitute parents. For all they do I don't think it is too much to ask for parents (and students) to enter into schools dressed appropriately across the board and not have it be a racist issue. You wouldn't show up at work in pajamas nor like another commentator said would you under-dress to enter a house of worship. I believe there is an increasingly lack of respect for teaching institutions and teachers themselves. They are tasked with preparing students for a world that may or may not be what students are used to and when it comes time for them to leave school and make a life for themselves better they have a strong foundation because the world is not going to cater to them. And given the poor state of public education in the U.S. (and lack of funding) I think what the principal did is a step in the right direction.
32
I am mostly of African DNA but I abhor going any place that my people congregate for the reasons that Principal Brown state. I graduated from Houston schools & got away from there as soon as I could.
Certain elitist whites and the hoodlum elements in my ethnic group may push this as intolerance, I recognize it as something else, aimed at forcing me to accept hoodlum attitudes as my norm. I exit any group when this attire/attitude enter the group & I do not bother to look back.
I truly feel that my group have several anti-participation actions that deter our full acceptance by all other advanced/advancing cultures in every country. Former UK PM Tony Blair recently said that people coming into better established cultures from hellacious places had to do more or anti-immigrant forces would prevail to build walls to keep new immigrants out. That is a fact, feel about it as you may.
I have lived across the world, avid reader of world news 4-6 hours each day and only African diaspora reacts so discordant with host cultures. That coupled with overweight/bad health makes for a less than hospitable reception by host nations populations at large in every country. Brazil has a by and large black majority but few rank in the economy or govt with only acts approaching genocide being the norm of the day as police sweep the black favelas, culling the youth gangs.
I close with; make yourself welcome by your good appearance/attire or learn to always be unacceptable/unaccepted & LEFT OUT.
27
So many comments fighting to maintain the lowest standards possible. That, for those who strive for higher standards, is not freedom.
26
Clothing is a powerful form of visual communication. It broadcasts messages about the wearer from a distance and is often the very first piece of information people learn about each other. You usually see attire before you see details of facial expression or start to talk. It is critical that children learn how their clothing “speaks” to others and also learn to “read” what others are portraying. It is true that there can be racist and elitist interpretations and messsging but kids need to understand how different audiences will read them. Parents may need some education in this as well and they certainly need to model correct attire for their children. This is not a frivolous concern this is something absolutely central to human social interaction. It is so elemental that many are not even overtly aware of how clothing guides and informs their interactions.
21
I have been to 29 countries and generally speaking Americans all too frequently look like slobs.
71
I seem to be the minority here but I am totally against this. This should not be a focus of a school in any way. Work on improving the education of the students and leave the looks of parents out of it.
17
What a sad state of affairs, when an actual policy needs to be introduced, when this is just a question of civility and self respect. People need to teach their children that success is attainable through looking and feeling empowered. Life is not easy, so stop looking defeated and hopeless
27
What's wrong with bonnets? Martha Washington and all the other upper class ladies of the colonial era wore them, as did everyone in the Jane Austen novels...
12
I owned a child care center in a nice middle income neighborhood in Ohio. The problem our staff encountered...we had a mixed income family setting and many of the women who brought their non-school age children were young mothers "single never married with children". Many were on welfare and poor and quite a few dressed in clothes that looked like the Red Light District. IDK but after a while ...many of these women changed their dress outlook and ...it all turned out great....we had women who literally took pride in how they showed up to drop of their children and we made sure to ALWAYS GIVE THEM THE EQUAL RESPECT WE GAVE TO THEIR PRECIOUS OFFSPRING....Women are rising up.....and it is going to be amazing for all those young scientist and teachers...just commenting...
11
Principal Brown: "“We are preparing your child for a prosperous future.....”
What next? Luxury-car buying tips? Teaching the difference between charmeuse and shantung silk? Advanced gastronomy?
In fact, preparing children for a prosperous future may not prepare them well for a world that will most likely be more difficult, less prosperous that the one we have known (climate change and all that). Wrong focus, Ms. Brown.
11
I am 100% for this.
US Americans are probable in the low rankings on a world wide scale when it comes to being appropriately dressed.
35
What’s the problem? They’re not being told to wear designer jeans. It seems that a pair of appropriate fitting sweat pants would be considered acceptable. One can’t go to the thrift store and buy a $3 shirt that fits? I find that hard to believe. Maybe you can’t, so put a coat on and cover yourself. Don’t have a coat? Come on, already. Instead of the ill-fitted clothes you manage to buy, trade them for something that fits. It’s not that hard. Change out of your pajamas. It’s simple. Bigger fish to fry than getting dressed? Okay, now we’re talking mental illness.
33
'Ashton P. Woods, a community activist ... denounced the policy as ... a form of respectability politics. “Most of the parents likely cannot afford to comply with this dress code,”
- they are being asked to not wear pyjamas to the school drop-off. Does Mr Woods think these people don't have any other clothes?
43
Sure beats trying to educate kids. Meanwhile, looking at that picture of Ms. Brown is giving me a headache.
4
Racist and elitist? Puh-leez!
13
Worked for two years about 15 years ago on a school story in Juarez, Mexico in a community with no running water. The water truck came twice a week and residents filled up plastic barrels for all home use. The parents walking their kids to school on dusty streets wore clean neat clothes as did the kids. The girls long hair was clean and beautiful. Baths were taken in an aluminum tub in one of usually 2 room cinder block homes or one-room cardboard pallet shacks,. Clothes were washed by hand. I don’t know how these families did it day after day and hope by now they have running water and better housing. There are really not that many physical obstacles to being presentable in public here in America- but there’s a conversation to be had on why our standards have fallen.
75
It's a shame that adults need to be reminded not to leave their house in pajamas, etc. Showing up at school in these items shows lack of respect for the staff, and shows the child that the school building is not a special place of learning.
This has nothing to do with money, or lack of it. Simple black or tan pants can be purchased at Walmart for about $10, the same as a pair of pajamas or sweatpants.
One would think when you take your child to a new school to enroll them, that you would make a special effort to put on a good appearance out of respect and for this special occasion.
33
This is so clearly a self-hatred issue. POC should be free to rock their/our style whenever we want. I say their/our because I physically present as white, but am Latinx and recognize my privilege. First, clothing and hair are how people present themselves and sometimes a choice. Second, when I was in uncertain housing I wore used converse, long johns and thrift store dresses. Sure, I looked super cool but I was dressing that way because I had to choose between regular clothing and food. Do not reject people because they can't conform to middle class white norms. Now that I am a professional and can afford real clothes, do not ever tell me to take off my kicks or "do" my hair. Nah.
10
Both my parents were school teachers in New York. My wife taught in the Chicago school system. Most of their work locations were inner city and minority neighborhoods.
A common complaint from my parents and wife was the lack of communication with the parents or guardians for many of their students. For whatever reasons (work conflicts, child care difficulties, non-English speaking, etc.), some parents could not or would not meet with their children(s) teachers.
I don't think my parents or wife would care if a parent or guardian met with them wearing shabby clothes or curlers in their hair. The goal was to talk with them about the progress (of lack thereof) that a student was making and actions that the parent or guardian could take along with their teacher(s) to help their child succeed in school.
If a parent or guardian wants to meet with the teacher(s) of their children, it makes no sense to put artificial obstacles of no value, like an arbitrary dress code, in their way. If one wants to help their child accomplish more in their schooling, what should what he or she is wearing make any difference?
26
I doubt this is legal. It is a public school and these are legal adults. What if a friend or relative is picking up someone's child because of an emergency and they didn't know about the dress code? Should they have to explain themselves in an already difficult situation? What is sagging clothing? What if there is a medical reason for wearing sagging clothing (like a catheter bag or colonoscopy bag), should someone have to explain themselves in that situation as well? There are reasons why you keep comments to yourself about how others present themselves, that is part of being an adult and setting a good example for our children.
16
Pajamas? I’m sorry but asking someone to not wear pajamas to school has nothing to do with elitism. It has to do with good manners. Why would anyone wear pajamas in public? Part of being a good parent is teaching our children to be appropriate.
And by the way, when I was raising my sons, we were on a very limited budget. And I mean limited. I know what it's like to do without. But I always tried to look neat, clean and appropriate. We can always purchase used clothing and Good Will, etc.
58
The poor just do not have the money for clothing is the missing factor here. Kmart, Sears are pretty much out of business. They rarely have access or credit cards for online shopping and so the apparel desert is right along side of the food desert in most of their neighborhoods. Bring up old photos online of the 1950's and 1960's to see how much better we were all dressed back then. The disparity of wealth since and its huge consequences are readily apparent in old photos. There is an old photo of Ali in his senior year in high school in Kentucky surrounded by his fellow students. Pull it up online to see the dire changes in dress since then.
10
nonsense. we werent rich, but our parents took pride in making sure we were properly clothed, and fed. period. we didnt get the name brands all the time, but almost. of course brands back then, 70s, were not a thing, and using a perceived value to charge more...the brands had value in themselves. we got good quality shoes to last all year. good pants, good shirts, etc.
I know some broke folks, who make sure they dress cleanly and properly...so others do not see them as poor and slovenly. While I see people of means, dressing like slobs...like the slobs they are..careless and cluless.
its not just the well off blowing up online shopping...!
21
Yet they have money for separate pajamas, not just a t-shirt and shorts? C'mon.
8
@jaxcat
Of course back in the 50’s it was acceptable to beat your wife and kids, make black people sit in the back of the bus, and warehouse disabled kids in institutions and tell the neighbors they died at birth.
All while being well dressed.
13
When you consider that you can buy any article of clothing for less than ten dollars (thanks to Made in China), this is not about discrimination against lower income people. I support the principle.
The world continues to laugh at us.
32
I applaud the principal for having appropriate standards. But over informality is not confined to school. When I went to church on Easter, I saw a group of 5 young men, in their late teens I would imagine, and well dressed, entering the church. Two of them were carrying coffee cups. I have never seen this before. I guess they viewed church more as entertainment than worship.
16
It's sad that you have to develop and implement a policy on appropriate dress code to the parents of high school students. But that is what you have to do because it seems as adults who should know better do not. Making this about race is not helping. I'm black. My three black daughters attended and graduated from Madison High School. We're not overly religious. But, I had high standards and expectations for my girls. They were not allowed to dress inappropriately for school. I never visited the campus dressed inappropriately. That mother who went to enroll her daughter in school and was turned away because of how she was dressed would more than likely not have gone to church, the mall, a night club or anywhere else dressed like that. Her appearing at the school dressed that way, I suspect was because she did not highly value or recognize and respect the school and what it really represents. A learning institution which should be revered. I think the school was correct to turn her away. Parents should set the example for their children. This parent was not setting the right example for her daughter or other students by coming to the school dressed in a manner that suggested she did not care. Madison High School is not in a financially well-off area. When we lived in the area many years ago we observed many of the bad things that occur regularly in that type of environment. School should be a safe place where high standards and decency are the norm.
54
When we were stationed in France during the 1950, the military Daily Bulletin would send out constant reminders on what was considered correct wear on the economy. What was considered non starters in the 1950s are, in my opinion, are non starters in 2019. I don’t understand why it is so hard to take curlers out of one’s hair or put on a pair of jeans to go shopping. Just plain lazy.
23
I can’t help it, and pretty much have a live and let live composure about people’s clothing choices...but grown men with their pants slung below their tushies is an instant respect loser in my eyes. Parents who have no respect for how they look when they walk out the door are not passing on good examples for their children. Look in the mirror, please ,before you leave the house, front and back.
28
This is not about "power structures" or "the oppressed vs the oppressors". Not everything can be simplified in that way and no one is telling anyone to fly to Milan or Paris and redo their entire wardrobe. This is about how we present ourselves as a country and a culture. How we present ourselves to each other is important just as how we talk to each other is important. It's a way to convey tone and respect. No one is going to get hurt if we raise the bar for ourselves and others now and again. It might just make us raise our standards for other parts of our lives as well.
29
This is not racist in my opinion. Neither classist or discriminatory. It is a matter of self esteem and aspirations for your children. I have seen Blacks, Hispanics and Whites with very poor choices in their outfits. And also, I have seen Blacks, Hispanics and Whites appropriately dressed despite their socioeconomic status. What do you want for your children? Do you want them to be just like yourself? Do you want them to be a BETTER version of yourself? Do you want them to be the best possible? It is your choice, you are the role model.
34
The principal is trying to set an example for the parents through the children.
It’s that simple.
It costs NOTHING to to brush your hair, or even to wear a conservative outfit in your wardrobe .
Jeans and a T shirt are fine.
But walking out in your pajamas or revealing gym clothing let alone wet hair just isn’t a good example to set for your children.
This Principal is a smart, brave cookie.
35
I have mixed feelings about this.
I’d hate to give a hard time to a struggling mom or dad coming in on short notice, who has much bigger fish to fry than worrying about being seen in curlers or a T shirt.
On the other hand, I wouldn’t mind a takedown of the middle class, married stay at home moms ostentatiously going around everywhere in unwashed hair and spit up stained sweat suits because being a mommy is just. so. hard.
15
@Di
For Pete's sake, how long does it take to run a comb through your hair and throw on some clothes? We're not taking about getting dressed for the ball, we're talking about not going to your child's school looking like you just that minute rolled out of bed.
18
A couple of times I’ve been walking out of the gym or been up to my elbows in housework wearing grungy sweat pants, and have been called to pick up a sick kid. it happens. For something scheduled, that’s different.
17
"'Most of the parents likely cannot afford to comply with this dress code,' he tweeted." I'll bet these parents wouldn't go to dinner or a club in pajamas. As someone once told me, your actions are your priorities.
20
People of all races and classes and ages dress in ways that are inappropriate and slovenly. I never fail to be amazed. She looks great.
15
Some mornings it’s about rushing to avoid a “tardy” record. And the school has no legal authority to enforce such a request. Good publicity though .
9
Oh dear! All these years I've followed my late father's direction "For crying out loud, have some consideration for those who live around you and have to look at you !" This was counter cultural back in the 60's.
13
George Bush used the term soft bigotry. what this means is that you don't set down any rules because you're afraid of offending people and you let people wear what they want and graduate regardless of grades, etc. Then these children become adults and apply for a job at a private company with questionable skills and questionable outfits and then you nicely say that we're still interviewing and then give the job to someone who dresses business like and has skills. Did you do anybody any favors by not setting standards for professional dress among other standards? If the children think it's okay to dress and talk any way they want or learn from their parents it might hurt them in the future and a good hiring person won't ever give them the real reason they weren't hired.
31
Remember back in the ‘60s when women would go out in curlers? (I think there was even a commercial—“Curlers in your hair, shame on you.”) Anyway, my Italian professor said when she came over she was shocked that women would go out that way in public. I believe her exact words were “We would throw ourselves off the Tower of Pisa before we would do that.”
18
You want the pajama experience?
Go buy a set of scrubs. People wear them all the time, even if they never set foot near a hospital or clinic.
They're comfortable, but not inappropriate for quick visits to a school.
Black children calling black principals racist occurs all the time in LA city schools, if say, the principal favores a Latino student in a fight with a black one.
That black parents are doing it here is depressing.
The number one reason students perform poorly in school is, as any teacher knows, the home environment. These sloppily dressed parents prove it.
24
How sad that parents have to be asked to behave themselves appropriately. Ignoring the "racist" charge. To be expected. Too automatic a response whenever someone doesn't like something said.
10
I'm an old white gal. In about 1996, I drove my kids to elementary school one morning in a pink bathrobe tied at the wait, my hair disheveled. When I got out and opened the door to let the kids out, the principal greeted me with a grin and a slightly caustic remark. It was clear that my attire was inappropriate. It was equally clear that she accepted me as I was and was just glad my sons were on time. So it should be for all parents, everywhere.
25
sorry folks, even poor folks can afford jeans and a shirt. pajamas are for sleeping period.
26
I'm with her on banning pajamas and bedroom slippers.
34
As an African-American woman who is in her late 40s, I am disheartened by how many AA women choose to dress these days. I CAN'T stand seeing so many women chosing to wear their satin sleep caps in public to go about running errands and I can't stand the sagging pants look either. 30 years ago people, especially AAs put a lot of effort into how they look, right down to dry cleaning their jeans. Now, it's okay to just roll out of bed and into your day with no effort.
The principal's rules are right and yet so wrong. She's right in wanting to impress upon students that first impressions matter, and that starts with how you are dressed. However she's wrong to try and enforce this on parents, who aren't students.
Having been a teacher, she just added fuel to the fire when already dealing with difficult parents. Now, parents riled up will pass on extra poor behavior to their kids because they're ticked off over this.
And for those who bring up the whataboutism concerning white parents, I promise you they aren't subjected to the harsh judgements that a poorly dressed black woman, on her best day, would be.
36
I agree that a school is a semi-professional environment and it shouldn't be too much to ask to put on a pair of jeans, appropriate blouse and make your hair presentable if you are at the school to conduct business on behalf of your child.
15
I wonder how much more this principal makes as compared to the parents at this school. Does she have help at home? Does she work multiple jobs?
Many moms are barely hanging on to their sanity, working, raising children, trying to improve their lives. Who cares if they have a scarf on their heads.
If they are not baring their bodies, leave them alone.
17
All in! So sick of adults dressing like children or looking like hobos. Put on a pair of real pants. Real shoes, a clean shirt. Save the just rolled out of bed look for home.
48
This isn’t racist...
It may be classist but come on and show some pride in yourselves...
Why turn up to a school function in curlers?
If I were a kid, I’d be mortified if my mom showed up like that!
46
Am I the only one who’s never seen someone wear pajamas in public?
10
apparently so. it's a look. and not a good one
15
Sorry, no. Want to be taken seriously? Don’t wear PJs in public.
12
Come to Houston!!! You will see them EVERYWHERE. Believe me, you will be surprised...
8
When I went to grade school in the 60s, women were not allowed to wear pants on the school grounds.
14
I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand: Live and let live. On the other hand, I was brought up that dressing appropriately is not just respectful of yourself, but of those around you. I know that when I hear a speaker, I'm more likely to be interested in the one who--while not necessarily dressed 'fancy' or 'heavily made up'--has put some time and thought into their appearance. Even if it's a funky style much different from my own, it's clear they gave it thought. Someone in tennis shoes and shorts and a coffee stained t-shirt is unlikely to hold my attention. I mean, look at TED talks, most of those people are intelligent and competent and successful. Few are dressed "up" but all are dressed nicely. In short, I won't ever wear pajamas in public. And if I see someone who does, I might judge and then think, "Maybe she's a single mom with three kids, two of whom are sick and she's doing the best she can."
10
Good afternoon,
Appearance counts in many situations. I totally agree with Ms. Brown's comments and her new rule for parents to dress appropriately. Parents not only lead our children's path, but are also role models. Dressing inappropriately gives them the wrong message, that it is ok. How we present ourselves at school, work or at play, it is important to use professional judgement and good taste.
36
I don’t understand. Why are all these adults going into the school in the first place?
9
@JeezLouise
School conferences, etc.
1
Good for Principle, Carlotta Outley Brown !!!
Schools and Universities once had really nice dress codes to remind parents and students that Education was a Noble Endeavor.
Just for the record, Mrs. Brown, my former Principles dressed like Penguins.
16
Good for you Ms. Brown. It's about time that someone address the lowering standards of decorum. Being respectful of the time, place, and circumstances isn't a racial issue. It is a pillar of a functioning society.
48
Parents of all races and cultures should dress appropriately when going out anywhere. Children need to have role models and they are, in fact, very concerned about how they look. Why would any parent want to embarrass their children. And by the way I see an awful lot of white, wealthy parents run around with tight pants and shirts that reveal all aspects of their anatomy.
32
A black female principal asking her peers to have some pride. Why not? Perhaps set up a cloak room near the entrance so that anyone (white, black, Hispanic, or other) who isn't wearing appropriate clothes can *borrow* an artist's smock to cover see-through clothing.
11
This was touched on in the article, but just imagine if the principal of the Hewitt School in Manhattan (an affluent private school) sent a letter out forbidding parents from walking into the school in gym clothes or yoga pants. Just imagine...
30
Does anyone take people in yoga pants in public seriously. No. But, hey, wear what you want.
5
@Nate Ah, the rich. Don't they get sick of yoga pants. They well as soon as they find they have gained five pounds because the pants stretch.
5
You have money for a cell phone but not enough to buy something other than pajamas? Oh come on...when I was a poor student I slept naked so no money spent on pjs but enough to spend on pants and shirts.
22
Ms. Brown's attire in the accompanying photo looks pretty ridiculous to me.
6
@Kim There are so many problematic things with a dress code (and I teach in a giant public high school). Your comment about her clothes is totally inappropriate- policies are not supposed to be fashion police and your comment illustrates why almost every policy is problematic
30
@Kim I think she looks beautiful. I wish I could figure out what to wear that looks good.
7
What is racist is thinking you have to dress a certain way if you are a minority, even if it is going to work against you, if it doesn't conform to any societal norms. This school is right, though I think banning curlers and scarves is going a bit far.
11
"Ashton P. Woods, a community activist who is running for Houston City Council, denounced the policy as elitist and a form of respectability politics. 'Most of the parents likely cannot afford to comply with this dress code,' he tweeted." Can't afford to put on clothes instead of pajamas? Really? Good for the principal. I rarely agreed with George W. Bush, but he hit the nail on the head years ago when he talked about "the soft bigotry of low expectations."
82
What about yoga pants? There was a time, not too long ago, when skin tight pants would have been considered deeply inappropriate (well I guess they still bother some people, or at least one mom whose son goes to Notre Dame), especially at a school. But now that's all some (mostly white) suburban women wear.
Unless I missed something, this parent dress code seems to specifically target attire worn primarily by black women. Satin caps are a problem, but revealing yoga pants are not?
37
It's a shame that we have to remind parents to have a little self-respect and put their big boy/girl pants on before they go out in public.
Really? Showing up to your child's school wearing pajamas? There's no excuse.
30
@JL Cain
For a meeting or something scheduled, sure.
Please come right now and pick up your vomiting child...cut people some slack.
6
@Di
Sure, pick the unlikely exception and present it as as a valid counterargument.
Bad Debating 101
7
Maybe it's because I live in the north, but I don't understand what "satin caps and bonnets" are and why head coverings should be outlawed for parents. Are MAGA hats OK?
17
@Susan, satin caps and bonnets are worn to keep hairstyles from dust, disarray, or sweating out. They have replaced hair nets, and as such also are used to hold curlers in place. They are usually worn to bed, however. :)
3
As a non-white woman myself, I wonder if Ms. Outley Brown’s hair is natural, relaxed or a weave. Ultimately, it’s none of my business. And neither is it hers regarding what other women wear on their heads. The school policy is racist & sexist, at best. However, it conveniently disguises itself to look like progress when presented to non-minority audiences. I’d love to ask Ms. Outley Brown exactly how she explains all this to her students. But I doubt she’d hear me while wearing that ridiculously loud oversized blazer.
16
How in the world can anyone who wears that awful, garish jacket possibly pass judgment on what other people wear?
9
It is neither racist nor elitist. It is respectful. Obviously, the adults who do not understand have little to no respect for the school, for the students, and for themselves. Kudos to the district.
36
Revealing clothing is one thing, but if a parent wants to dress like a slob or like they just got out of bed in public....who is the school to say you can't come inside the public building paid for by the tax payers?
11
Encouraging parents to participate in the education their children are getting is an important issue. If this school can't create an environment where all parents are welcome, regardless of their clothing, this school is doing something (possibly many things) wrong. Yes: the parents are the kids' first teacher, fine, whatever. But you can't refuse admittance because an adult doesn't meet your standards of being properly dressed. Stigmatizing them (and their kids) because mom's wearing rollers is a huge waste of time. This is discrimination, plain and simple.
16
I think being a good role model for ones children is important whatever race, sex or religion one is. Appearing in public with dignity is part of it. In other countries such as the UK one rarely sees people in public dressed as though they "just rolled out of bed." It seems to be a particularly American cultural trait that is very casual.
23
The policy might need a little sensitivity tweaking (hair) but the basis is absolutely sound. Students ARE embarrassed when their parents or guardians show up dressed in pajamas, or worse, dirty sweatshirts with food stains or looking like streetwalkers. I sure hope this policy stands and is enforced, and I sure hope the “activist” running for council who called it elitist loses his race. The last thing Houston needs is more people in office who scream “racist” at anything they just don’t like.
19
People like to complain that it's "racism" when minorities struggle academically or financial. Yet, when attempts are made to actually teach them what it takes to succeed, that's also branded as racist.
Adults should be expected to act and behave like adults and to have some self dignity. No one is asking poor families to wear suits to school, but come on - why in the world should anyone of any race be allowed to wear pajamas into a place of education? Show some class.
32
Clothing should be banned for students and parents alike. This will lay bare any notion of elitism and respectability politics.
4
The principal is addressing a real problem. Showing up in yoga clothes is not the issue. It's when parents show up half naked or in clothing so suggestive it's embarrassing that is the problem. Never in amillion years would I show up at my kid's school in pajamas. Even if they worked a late shift, put on some clothes. This is self respect. Not a campaign against poor people or minorities. Stop bashing the principal for exercizing good judgement.
21
Instead of shaming and lecturing parents, this principal lost an opportunity to build community and gain trust by inviting parents to evening and after-school discussions about how they can support their kids-- including workshops on job searches, proper business dress, business English, GED classes, and computer literacy. Get local university profs to give one-off sessions on the impact of reading with your kids. Get for-profit tutoring companies to give tips and tricks for helping their kids with homework. Make the school a resource, not a bully. It's sheer intellectual laziness, and a refusal to teach.
8
I have done similar programs related to health literacy when I was a physician in a community clinic. Attendance was sparse. It’s nice to think that this is somehow a lack of education, but that’s soft bigotry. Everyone knows that you don’t wear pajamas to school. a lot of people don’t want to change. Think offering workshops will make a difference. I highly doubt it.
2
I commend the school administrator for standing up for the dignity of children. Also, I think every parent with real custody should be paying for school lunch. Custody of a child is not an absolute right. Raising a child is serious business and there are many conditions that must be met. Many people weren’t cut out to be parents and do not meet the legal requirements, like a stable home environment, appropriate nutrition etc.
4
25 years in the public schools in Montana both on and off a reservation - I totally get this. I don't want to have to look at someone's private parts just because I have to lead a Child Study Team meeting. Education is more than teaching, it is also setting examples. She isn't saying someone has to have a three piece suit, just that they need to "get dressed" and that's then defined. It's impossible to have standards without offending someone, but when parents run around half naked and drop their kids off at school all the other kids get to see it too. But in my experience some of the worst offenders were teachers.....
11
I think I might have trouble telling the difference between pajamas and regular clothes sometimes. And often pajamas are less revealing than other kinds of clothing, like leggings which seem to be considered appropriate just about everywhere.
I personally find excessive jewelry and/or makeup, like purple lipstick, objectionable, even "trashy," but would not want to outlaw Ms. Brown from wearing either.
7
I think, how parents dress should be viewed as part of etiquette and manners. It shouldn't be enforced by rule of law.
9
The way you are dressed and your posture in a setting tells people your intention. Slumped in a chair in a classroom- you are not alert or interested. Wearing track cloths or a coat and hat in the classroom - you are preparing to leave. "Studying" on your bed with the TV on, you are not fully conscious, not concentrating, but ready for a good snooze. Multitasking or dressed for rehearsal of life, then you are not fully present. Teachers and administrators may know you when you walk into the room even before you speak.
12
When I started kindergarten in my rural community, there was some mix-up with bus schedules. My mom and I waited, and waited, and waited. Finally, she got in the car and took me to school--which I think at that time in our lives involved my dad coming home from work because we only had one car. She was wearing curlers....she told the story over and over for years, laughing with mortification about dropping me off with her hair in rollers.
After all of that, I'm glad they didn't turn us away because of her hair!
8
Principal Brown covered all the bases:
"or any attire that is totally unacceptable for the school setting"
There has to be a way to discourage wearing revealing and disheveled attire to school without enumerating specific fashions that offend.
A less colorful principal might have declared that "no one can enter the building or be on the school premises wearing a jacket with more than four colors on their body for any reason in the building." It's too subjective.
6
This principal wants parents to be Vogue-ready when picking up and dropping off children. Kamala Harris jailed parents if their children missed too many days of school. Parents can't win.
I have a fashion suggestion since this principal wants to go there - how about she ditch that godawful jacket and improve her leave out game?
10
There should be five report cards: student, parents, teachers, school administration and politicians in control of funding. Each directly determines a student's success and our countries local-to-global competitiveness.
3
Watch the video link. If this Ms. Lewis isn’t an attorney, she’s missing a good career opportunity. I especially liked what she said about having her head covered, and certainly it could have been religious attire.
Most importantly, the school should be welcoming and show respect to parents no matter what they wear, and parents likewise to the teachers, so we present a united front and do not confuse the kids.
2
@Sherrod Shiveley,
"Most importantly, the school should be welcoming and show respect to parents no matter what they wear"
Not sure if "no matter what they wear" is a serious standard.
5
I am white. I have a Ph.D. Yet I often pick up my child from school wearing a t-shirt and no bra. I don't like bras. Never have. Sometimes, I pick her up after I have exercised, I am sweaty and look unkempt.
This school policy is troubling for all of us.
34
@N,
In New York you're not required even wear a t-shirt.
2
No, it’s not troubling for people who have self-respect.
9
@N As someone similarly white and middle class, I have the privilege not to have to worry about issues like this, regardless of how I dress.
FWIW, I also think there is a huge difference between attending a school function sloppily dressed and running inside the school briefly while sloppily dressed.
Finally, LOL at the irony of all of the pearl clutching and condescension by people crowing about "self-respect."
10
This is standard practice in all Hasidic schools all over New York and New Jersey for decades. I don’t understand what this is a news suddenly
3
@Joel: Largely because this is a public school, not designated specifically Hasidic.
4
I'm confused - wouldn't Hasidic schools *require* head coverings instead of forbidding them? Or am I confusing my Jewish sects?
1
Hadn't heard of "respectability politics" before, which turns out to have a Wikipedia entry. I don't get out much.
I'm still puzzling over all this -- am not a parent so no hurry. But I was impressed by the New Yorker profile of Darren Walker of the Ford Foundation (no relative of mine) at https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/01/04/what-money-can-buy-profiles-larissa-macfarquhar
He clearly had some revelations when growing up, which are relevant here, IMO.
I'm white and I'm all for banning white women from wearing leggings and wet yoga hair to their kids’ school also. Let's be fair all around.
34
"I sse London, I see France. LuLuLemon yoga pants."
5
Based on the letter, I'd be more concerned about the grammar, punctuation, and general writing proficiency of the high school's leadership than about other parents showing up in leggings and satin bonnets.
7
Fashion choices are not conditions of birth. Perhaps that's the lesson the principal is trying to teach.
10
Public schools have a legal obligation to educate students (details vary by state) and that requires interacting with parents. All the parents, not just the ones you approve of. If a parent is violating decency laws, go ahead and ask police to ticket them (or whatever they do for that). Beyond that, the school has no jurisdiction. The only other tool the school has here is persuasion. Make your case to parents and students, and get a dialogue going.
Perhaps more importantly, remember that some pretty evil people manage to make some pretty good impressions. Abusers, pedophiles, addicts, and even serial killers have at times managed to create an outward appearance of utmost decency while committing the most vile acts. And some great servants of humanity have at times worn rags and associated with beggars and thieves. If you must judge people, do it by their actions and hearts, not their appearance.
I see a lot of complaining in the comments about various attire they have seen. And while I personally agree that many of these examples are one I would put in the category of 'bad examples', I also remember that throughout history people have managed to be outraged by all kinds of things we now take for granted, such as skirts that reveal ankles, men with long hair, women wearing pants, zoot suits, people wearing white shoes after labor day. Fashion is relative and evolving, and in the scheme of all the problems we face today, it's just not that important.
28
@Gnut: Good point, "respectable" appearance hardly correlates with decent behavior. A case might be made for a school dress code, if you were very careful that it didn't put any hardship on poor kids. It might be worth prohibiting ostentatiously expensive and stylish clothes, to minimize snobbism. But the whole dress-code thing should be a low priority.
3
@Gnut Agreed-- it's all relative, and there are so many other things to worry about instead. Although, maybe there's some merit in old-fashioned dress. If we go back to giant hats, shirtwaists, and long skirts, then I can be era-appropriate and use my hatpin to stab manspreaders, upskirters, and cat callers.
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/hatpin-peril-terrorized-men-who-couldnt-handle-20th-century-woman-180951219/
6
It amazes me how many people fail to grasp the importance that signaling to each other has in society. Everybody makes judgements about the worth of others all the time based on whatever evidence is at hand, no matter how unrelated and/or flimsy that evidence may be. That is why it's important to use correct grammar, dress reasonably well according to whatever are the unwritten rules, use silverware correctly while eating, and so on. In none of those cases is being correct needed for others to understand the point that is being transmitted, or get one's food to one's mouth, or whatever. That's not the point. The point of doing it "right" is to signal others that we are serious, competent people whose views and opinions should be given weight, not slobs who can be ignored. Any parent who shows up to school in pajamas or whatever is broadcasting that they are a slob and aren't capable of adding much value to the proceeding. It's a form of self-destruction, and certainly something that a conscientious school administrator should be weaving into the educational process, especially when the parents aren't doing it themselves.
44
@John Binkley: Well, if it's "signalling", then hey "1st Amendment!" My guess is, students can probably handle seeing people as they are, especially in the range that's being discussed here. I can sort of see prohibiting gang colors, or threatening militaristic outfits, or overtly offensive words. But PJ's? The kids will get over it.
5
Not only is Ms. Brown a model for her students and parents, she is a magazine cover school teachers and administrators can emulate. Her attire in the photo is pure inspiration - a palette of basic black enhanced with color and statement jewelry. Unlike many school administrators here in California who show up in frumpy colorless cookie cutter clothes trying to look youthful, Ms. Brown has style - her own! In the photo her look is contemporary (without wearing what's "in"), professional and speaks of confidence and personality.
21
@Thegooodlife: Good point. She clearly has a wonderful sense of style, and maybe that's part of the problem here. Maybe people dressing carelessly just grates on her nerves more than it would on most people. Sort of like some people might want to outlaw humming out of tune. But the thing is, as the principle of a public school, she should just grit her teeth and smile anyway.
3
What a lot of the comments seem to be missing is that there are some parents who don't hold themselves to the standards that most of us would like to see upheld when visiting a child's school. Some of those parents just may not have those standards. Some, like those in rollers and pajamas, may have one of those night jobs at the hospital cleaning bedpans and needs to get to bed or lose valuable sleep needed to get back to work that night. Some don't care. But what they do have, as the case of the mother trying to enroll her child who was bullied in another school, is the desire to have their child schooled. It would be nice if they didn't wear certain clothes or had their hair coiffed. But if they don't, I'm on the side of the mom enrolling her child in a new school, and all the other parents doing their best to keep their kids in school.
23
In response to “ OnlyInAmerica “
I work at a hospital overnight.
Bedpans and more.
We are dressed in uniforms at all times during work.
No excuses for hospital or service industry workers.
8
Finally someone is bringing some sense to this issue. Good luck James Madison HS.
9
This is a way to cut down parent engagement at schools. I grew up with working class immigrant parents who I secretly felt ashamed of in my mostly white school....and I could tell my parents also felt out of place going to school events or meetings . My parents were often dressed in humble clothing when they dropped us off in the morning. I imagine this kind of policy would have alienated them even more.
24
@Downtown pedestrian: There is a big difference between humble clothing and someone just not caring about their attire.
A basic pair of jeans and shirt/blouse or even a parent's work uniform is always appropriate, especially if it is clean. If it is later in the day and a parent is a tad dirty or unkempt from their labors, then that shows honest work.
Instead, this women just wants to slide by, sloppily.
15
@Downtown pedestrian
There is a difference between "humble clothing" - which can be neat and modest - and showing up to your child's school in pajamas (seriously?) or some other inappropriate attire (and I include skintight Lululemons and wet yoga hair in that category.) You wouldn't (or shouldn't) go to church, the office or your mother-in-law's Thanksgiving dinner wearing clothes like that. Dressing like a slob signals to your kid a lack of respect for the institution.
19
Similarly I see parents putting pictures of a beer bottle or cocktail on FB and wonder what effect that has on their kids. Double standard? Don't complain if your kid ends up being a slob or an alcoholic.
10
Wearing pajamas in public is a sign of laziness no matter who does it. There's a reason that there is a long-standing stereotypic trope about elderly people wearing pajamas all day long. My grandmother didn't, and neither did any of her friends and associates. It's not that hard to be presentable in public, especially when meeting with school officials and prospective employers. And yoga pants in public are pretty sloppy, too; they're just tight sweat pants.
29
I wish my local grocery store could apply a dress standard! I am sick of seeing old white men in saggy sleeveless undershirts in the produce aisle. If a perent can't dress properly for school they can drop their kid off and not go on campus!
7
Thank you Ms. Carlotta Outley Brown!
12
Most high school or middle school kids think their parents are an embarrassment as a general principle. Lets not give them an actual reason.
219
@crf
Perhaps their embarrassment is justified.
17
The hair policy is a little sensitive. Curlers under scarves was a traditional northern British white working class 'look' in the 1960s and 70s and it often seemed as if they were only taken out for Saturday night! But no one then would have worn pyjamas outside the house and yet both schools (for parents - kids usually wear some form of uniform) and supermarkets in the UK have now had to bring in bans.
11
My daughters attended Calabasas High School in Southern California. One day I was on my way into the school when I saw a young woman get out of a BMW wearing a swimsuit and oversized slashed tank top revealing a lot of skin and her bra. I went into the main office to ask if there was a dress code and if it was enforced. An administrator assured me that there was a dress code but the school had stopped trying to enforce it because the parents, a) believed that censuring dress went against freedom of speech, and b) the parents dressed the same way!
23
Standards are decaying all around us.
Nobody seems to want to dress nicely anymore. I see people in stores dressed for cleaning the garage. I see men show up for a formal church wedding dressed in tennis shirts and khaki pants. I see jeans and sneakers worn to the ballet at the Kennedy Center. Yet it shouldn't be too hard to put on a clean pair of jeans and a sweatshirt to drop off a kid at school. I find myself perfectly capable of buttoning a nice trench coat over my babydoll nightgown when I have to make an emergency run for milk or a newspaper in the morning.
Look, it's pretty much impossible to legislate how the general public dresses. The Houston high school can go as far as saying no nightgowns, pajamas, slippers, robes or bathing suits can be worn on school grounds. The hair thing they have to leave alone. If people show up in curlers or other hair-grooming gear, it's really a matter of their tolerance for self humiliation.
Maybe publishing a few photos with faces blurred of parents looking ratty on school grounds will get through their denial and make them up their sartorial standards. But detailed dress codes and enforcement are just asking for a fight. Be grateful the parents are showing up and involved.
13
@Former NBS student: Right, it seems like the hair and head covering areas are when regulations can go really wrong. I'm wondering about the pajamas part. My guess is that they are talking about something a little more structured than what I think of as pajamas.
1
Why do so many people consider the public an extension of their bed/bathroom? People used to be embarrassed if they had to answer the door in pajamas - they threw on a robe. Forget dropping off kids at school in your pajamas - at the least, the parent wouldn't get out of the car and hope she or he didn't get into a car crash on the way home! Also overreaction is another thing that occurs too often - anything that requires adherence to a general norm is considered an affront to civil liberties. The principal sounds like a professional with a good point - and the argument about it's what's inside not what's on the outside is a fallacious argument. It is not superficial nor elitist to be presentable. Finally - if teachers started showing up in pajamas how many parents would be okay with that?
47
Erasmus, Shakespeare and Mark Twain have all acknowledged the maxim- "Clothes Make the Man." Anyone in the underclass who complains about discrimination should take note.
16
@Richard Katz Nathaniel Hawthorne wrote a fable on the theme: "Feathertop" A humorous witch dresses a scarecrow up fashionably and sends him downtown, where he gets quite a bit of respect while the magic lasts. It's quite a story. http://www.online-literature.com/hawthorne/135/
2
The hair part seems unreasonable. Everything else is fine. Go ahead and ban leggings too.
11
Wow. Instilling respect and a code of decency? How un-American.
31
For one, I support this educator. Perhaps the directives regarding hair went too far. But having seen parents show up to school wearing inappropriate shorts, too short dresses or holy jeans with shirts (tee or otherwise) with untethered breasts does not set a good example and can be contrary to maintaining discipline and a healthy learning atmosphere. And men wearing sagging pants is not something a youngster should aspire to. She's right to ask them to clean up their act. Personally speaking to egregious offenders may have been a better choice but in large schools, it's largely impractical.
17
I attended a junior high parent orientation that involved going over a long list of dress code infractions. No leggings worn as pants. No visible bra straps. No obviously dyed hair. No tank tops or camisoles. No short shorts. No athletic wear. My attention drifting, I noted that at least ninety percent of the other women in the auditorium were in flagrant violation. (The majority were white and upper-middle class, if it matters.) There was obvious absurdity in going over a student violation list that so precisely described the dress of a typical parent. Months later, I realized the dress code was not enforced for students after all. Why should it be, when the community standard is yoga pants, leggings, and tank tops with partly-revealed bras?
I've always put thought into how I dress and taken pleasure in judging clothes to the occasion. But even I have to admit the war on a lax standard of dress was lost long ago. Public clothing becomes ever more casual and intimate. In parts of the U.S. at least, it is almost eccentric to dress well. This cultural tendency won't be changed by targeting and shaming lower-income parents. And rigidity never helps. If I get called during a workout because my child is sick or in trouble, the school staff can just deal with me showing up on campus in leggings.
10
Good for her! I'm an African American woman and I was always taught that wearing curlers, scarves over curlers,satin bonnets etc was just plain trashy and inappropriate in public. My mother believed that just because we ( my divorced single mother, sister and I) had little money did not mean we had to carry ourselves in a low class way. She also taught us clothing should be ironed and worn with proper undergarments too!
People do judge a person by appearance...rightly or wrongly.
479
@Lim
One of the most insightful books I have read is The Confidence Course by Walter Anderson. The most valuable lesson in this book is in Challenge 21. This challenge asks we write Appearance, Language and Behavior on the left margin of a piece of paper and People, Information and Places on the right margin. At the bottom write Time. Below this Mr. Anderson noted "Picture yourself in a house with two doors, one marked 'out' and the other marked 'in.' The words on the left are what you send out; the words on the right are what you allow in."
A question I ask myself daily is, "Is my house in order?"
15
@Lim it's your choice. Don't impose your personal preferences on others.
A public school principal has no business imposing a dress code on anybody, beyond what the law requires.
22
@Lim While I think you're absolutely right and, I respect people who carry themselves in a respectful way, it is not a school principals job to enforce these behaviors.
I also think an engaged parent in curlers is better then a disengaged parent in a suit.
53
Hmmm, priests wear clothing that is conservative neat and tidy, but that did not prevent from acting immoral and being scandalous. As a teacher it is not my prerogative or position to tell parents how to dress, they are adults and do not need to be babysat and frankly I am adult enough to allow other adults to make their own decisions. If I want to teach students to think independently I have to let their parents do so with their own choices, including clothing.
173
You are a wonderful teacher!
11
@MH Exactly. The packaging is irrelevant. Give kids the space to be themselves, and give them a foundation to be strong, curious, independent and moral human beings.
16
@MH
"I am adult enough to allow others to make their own decisions."
But you dress well and appropriately to the educational context, which appearance communicates respect for and thoughtfulness toward all students and parents.
All students and parents who appreciate the context and purpose of education will dress accordingly, some with an innate understanding, some with an occasional reminder.
17
Applause to Ms. Outley Brown for willing to stand up and do what is right.
26
The hair issue and the clothing issue are 2 different matters.
I agree that focusing on hair can have racial implications. I'm white and I don't think that the ubiquitous sloppy pony tail and the ball cap look sported by white moms is very formal or professional either. I teach in a low income school. No one says a word about the mamas' hair. Our girls are of many races and we leave their hair alone as well. The boys as well.
Hair is personal. I grew up in the era where young men in Houston school were actually subjected to beatings behind the stadium with administrative complicity for wearing long hair. As I recall it took a Supreme Court case. Never again please.
Clothing is another matter. I taught in an alternative school wherein a mother-who was very inappropriate and had raised very problematic children, came to my classroom uninvited and sat down for the morning wearing transparent pajamas and no undergarments. She was white. Some lines need to be drawn. I would not assume that a T-shirt dress and a colorful head wrap were at all objectionable. And if you can wear a Texas Aggies ball cap and hop out of your car and run in you can also wear a curler bonnet.
188
@Consuelo Great examples. Let's make "common sense" common.
11
@Consuelo
it was just a big t shirt with nothing underneath...
3
@Consuelo Yes, as a school counselor I totally wear t-shirt dresses from J Crew and Old Navy. I work with kids for goodness sake! And my wet yoga hair means I am taking care of myself, like any school counselor should. My husband is a Controller and is sitting here in his running shorts working. Policing other adults is shameful.
8
This policy again discriminates against minorities. What is so threatening about dreadlocks? And why should any woman be challenged over what sits upon her head? A shower cap may be a bit much, but anything made of fabric or leather-like should be okay. Pajama bottoms seem too risque, but wasn't there a big fashion push for rich white women to wear pajamas as regular clothes only a year or two ago?
5
@Kathleen And it was tacky then too...money doesn't always buy class.
10
I wasn't saying pajamas were okay. I was trying to imply that if a rich, white mom came to the school in silk pajamas, I bet no one would throw her off campus. And if they did, there would be a lawyer in their faces the next day. Not talking appropriateness, commenting on different standards based on the color of your skin.
7
@Kathleen First they came for the Lululemons, and when that failed, they fell back on picking on poor moms of color.
4
If a parent of one of my students came to school to speak with me dressed in pajamas, or in an obvious state of undress, I'd take that as an insult. And I'd tell him or her so.
If I wouldn't think of teaching your children with rollers in my hair or slippers on my feet or bikini-size pieces on my nether regions, then please don't embarrass your kids by exhibiting bad taste -- wherever you go.
36
"Most of the parents likely cannot afford to comply with this dress code"
Are you serious? A decent outfit, head to toe, can be had for $10 off the sale rack at Old Navy and H&M. Sad excuses.
61
What is wrong here? Don't show up at your kid's school looking like you just rolled out of bed
40
Ms. Brown is attempting to reach not just her students, but their parents as well. She is working to create a 'better' self-image through role modeling. What appears not to have happened is to get any input from the parents themselves. Would it have been different if the parent club had written the letter with an endorsement from Ms. Brown? Is it wrong to place education as worthy of a standard above the 'just rolled out of bed look'? It is commendable to take a stand and want better for students. Perhaps next time she'll stop and think about the best way to create that improvement.
86
@Vanessa Then she should put her efforts into the children. Children have many role models, including their teachers. If this ban on rollers prevents a parent from coming in to speak with an administrator or educator, who loses out? The kid.
13
@Vanessa
Totally agree that it should have had parent input and participation. Some of the scruffy parents may work night jobs and have just grabbed some rest. That the parents show up at school is a plus.
15
If you drive your kids to school and idle at the curb as they walk in, dress or don't dress as you see fit.
If you are exit your vehicle and present yourself to your child's classmates, teachers, school administrators or office staff then present yourself in a manner that will communicate your seriousness about his or her education.
Right or wrong, your appearance and what you wear on your back, to a degree, will determine what others think of you and by extension, your child.
53
@Julian Fernandez: Yes, but that isn't what this is about. This is about not being allowed in the school unless you are dressed to the satisfaction of the person at the door, referring to rules of the school administrator. And not just about standards of decency and cleanliness, but regarding specific articles of clothing that are not allowed. So, you might not be allowed to go in and talk to your kid's teacher, although I suppose your kid would be allowed to come out and go home with you, if that was necessary.
5
I think most of this attire of parents may happen at time of signing in a student arriving late or signing out a student for early dismissal from the school day. If for a meeting, dress appropriately.
1
As a teacher, I know that many parents feel alienated from school. Some have had difficult experiences in school-- bad teachers, bullying without administrative intervention etc. In countless parent-teacher meetings, parents' lack of trust in the education system stymies possible strategies to help their children.
This racist and classist dress code will only serve to make parents feel more alienated from school. I do think that parents should support teachers by modeling respect for education-- checking homework, being skeptical of excuses etc. I also think schools should model respect for students' home lives by not belittling their parents dress. Ultimately, the parent- school divide will hurt students.
23
Racist? Hang on. Hairstyles and clothing choices are not conditions of birth, but fashion choices. Abusing the notion of racism does harm to genuine initiatives to halt racism.
34
I feel that this piece is presented to incite indignation against the school authorities. Do u for a minute believe that they would have not thought through this matter before sending the memo? The usual tropes about racism and people color are thrown about but it's nonsense. The principal is a black lady and she is trying to set a good example.
It's takes courage to swim against the tide, easier to go along. People like this Principal need more support and encouragement from the community. How hard is it for a parent to put on decent clothing while attending school events. This is not about individual liberty and all that. It's rewarding lazy and sloppy behavior.
286
@SB "Do u for a minute believe that they would have not thought through this matter before sending the memo? " Uh, yes. Because I have interacted with school officials before.
17
@SB
Thanks for your accurate and incisive criticism of the journalistic practices of the newspaper to which we subscribe. Courage to swim against the tide is indeed an important angle here, as in life generally. It's lucky you got it published and, yes, that means what you think it means. All the best, to you and Principal Brown.
14
This is a great policy change for everyone. It's gotten to the point in American at which the attitude of too many parents is, "I'm only going to the school." So school, everyone, and everything there are not important. It's become a bother. It should be a positive experience. Parents and guardians are those who set the first, and perhaps most lasting, examples. I hope that the majority of parents will embrace this positive change.
35
@Joseph Gatrell What about the parent who is taking the time to get their child to school before going to work? What if she would like to cover her hair so that by the time she gets her kids ready for school, drives them to school, runs up three flights of stairs to deliver homework forgotten in the car, meets with the teacher who is concerned about a child, looks for a lost lunch under the car seat, etc. she can get to work without too many flyaways, too much frizz, so that she doesn't lose out on a promotion because her hair is seen as "unprofessional" (according to an outdated, racist, biased view of "professionalism")?
What about the parent who wants to be engaged in her child's schooling, but can't afford to do laundry until Friday, so the clean outfit she has includes a pair of leggings? Would you prefer she showed up in those leggings (just like many well-off yoga-going mommies at many wealthy schools, by the way), ready to meet with teachers, participate in her child's club, volunteer for the school, etc. (all of which we KNOW improve student success) or should she stay at home in shame and tell her kid to walk home with the neighbor?
If parents set the first examples, teachers/schools often set the second. Shouldn't we want that example to include that we respect those who are different from us, that we do not penalize people based on the color of their skin, and that no one is too poor to learn?
14
@K, "penalize people based on the color of their skin" is a red herring. No one is penalizing them for the color of their skin. They're being asked to live up to standards that the school has every right to set.
9
The principal is absolutely correct. Parents who come to a child's school dressed in pajamas, or inappropriately, should be turned away. They fail to see what school is, i.e. a social institution. People don't go to houses of worship or to work shabbily dressed as if they were just waking up. And wearing pajamas is a reflection of what they think of education.
I agree there shouldn't be dress restrictions for children or parents, but there should be a level of decency and respect. And that's the problem the principal has to contend with. What exactly is meeting this definition of respectability and decorum.
82
Becoming employable starts at an early age.
86
I agree with the principal's choice. It is time parent take responsibility for their actions. Children take license from their parents from the words they say to the clothes they wear. This hardly out of line. FYI, its not that hard to look decent. Make an effort and stop asking schools and teacher to police your children. They are their to educate and set a positive example for your children. Parents should do the same.
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@R4L
As a teacher, I couldn't agree more.
2
This is properly the role of public shame and standards of polite society, not of laws or enforced codes. I don’t wear pajamas and curlers our of the house because I don’t want to be stigmatized — not because of some officious rule. As much as everyone decries the unfairness of social judgment, it is certainly a softer and fairer way to encourage some behaviors than hard codes.
16
Unfortunately, the more heterogeneous a society, the fewer social norms exist. That’s because we only feel shame from community members and others “like us.”
2
My sympathies go out to Ms. Brown. She has taken on a hard but necessary task. People are judged by their appearances. No amount of wishful thinking will change this.
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@Andrew M.: Well, as long as she's around, people are judged by their appearance. There are people who judge people by different standards.
She is in charge of a school, and a case could be made for having some sort of dress code for students and teachers, as long as it didn't put an extra burden on poorer kids. But she should have no authority over parents, beyond enforcing some minimal standards of decency. Kids can certainly handle seeing grownups being themselves -- again, with some minimal standards of decency, and possibly ruling out offensive tee-shirts... but she shouldn't take it upon herself to elevate the fashion sense of the whole community.
4
There is a long string of court rulings that prohibit schools from regulating students' clothing beyond safety and indecency / pronography issues.
If a school can not regulate what students wear, it would seem quite a stretch to regulate what parents wear.
More to the point, if the government wants to compel attendance at a particular location, it hardly seems permissible to insist on a particular mode of dress.
This is much like ordering people to go to court for jury duty and then dismissing them if they ask to see a search warrant before being searched. And then claiming that the defendant had a jury of his pears when those who believe that the government must obey the constitution are dismissed from the jury panel.
We have a right to expect the government, and its employees, to obey the law. Including the Constitution.
And government, and its employees have a duty to obey the law.
16
There are many schools that regulate whatever is deemed “gang wear.”
2
@CC
Have they been to court?
Seems easy enough to differentiate between " overly revealing" on the one hand (prohibit, although there will be arguments about how it's enforced), and "satin caps" on the other (no valid reason to prohibit). I suppose if your students had a very formal dress code, you might want the same for parents, but considering that a parent might get called in unexpectedly, rules should be minimized, if any.
7
There is a huge difference between what people "should do" and actually attempting to force adults to do or not do certain things. I am happy to look at people in leggings and sweats if it means my freedom to do as I see fit.
16
So, parents can't afford simple clothes (even from a thrift store), but can somehow afford children?
120
Many can’t. It costs a low income family like those served at this high school over $175,000 to raise one child. Multiply that times the number of children.
These people cannot afford to feed their children lunch.
Those thrift stores may have lots of options for you. In their area it is probably their main clothing store and the “nice” clothes sold long ago.
Should these people buy nice clothes for the principal to see or put dinner on the table?
18
@T.Burnett I guess they should give them back then.
6
It’s not that they can afford children, but they can’t afford condoms.
10
Self expression is important. So is dressing for success. I agree with the principal that adults are role models. I don’t think parents who come to school in pajamas or reveling clothing are about self expression. If so, what message are they trying to express? Clothing norms don’t exist? You can’t pigeon hole me based on what I wear? Children need to learn that social norms exist and that venturing too far away can carry consequences. I haven’t seen people dressing in pajamas in white, black, or hispanic churches. I don’t see pajamas in the workplace, blue or white collar.
Schools have the responsibility to educate, feed, and care for the children they serve. All the children at school. Although dressing appropriately is in the eye of the beholder, schools can and should make their expectations known, based on community and parent input. Come to school nude? No. See through clothing? No. Clothing with racist epithets? No. Why not? If it’s not completely open, where to draw the line?
50
How are children to learn expectations if not from parents snd schools?
That said Lots of parents work screwy hours and taking children to and from school is often done with only one or two hours of sleep.
I can understand driving a child to school while still in nightclothes if the parent doesn’t expect to get out of the car.
An appointment, however, should require proper dress.
62
ALL students should be in uniforms. It signifies their place as a member of a school community. It also signifies that they are not the peers of teachers and staff.
Now, reading this, I'm beginning to wonder, for adult attire, if the Mao suit was such a bad idea.
And I apply my wondering to myself and other adults of all races and socioeconomic groups.
7
Authoritarian societies enjoy having uniformed parents and children. Makes control do much easier.
10
@Elizabeth Mirant
I see you've taken an extreme example that in no way I would advocate and applied it here.
I stand by my statement that school children should be in uniforms. And what's wrong with "control" in the context of students being under authority?
3
@Jung and Easily Freudened
The question of uniforms for kids is complex--some situations like gangs and poverty necessitate uniforms. Of course, the school needs to make sure uniforms are affordable or it just provides another roadblock to education.
I hope you're being satirical about adults wearing uniforms. Surely the effort it would take to force everyone to wear the same uniforms vastly outweighs individual's effort to be less judgmental about other people's clothes. It would take a massive money and time wasting organization to outfit everyone in uniforms. Not being judgmental about other people's personal choice of dress doesn't cost a thing.
2
I don’t remember Martin Luther King showing up at the Lincoln Memorial or anywhere else in his pajamas. When did dressing appropriately become elitist? Good clothes can be found cheaply at Goodwill.
195
Did Martin Luther King want to quickly sign a form or drop off a book for a child at the Lincoln Memorial?
Your Goodwill likely has better options than one in a poor area, where the nice options are snapped up quickly.
16
Our high end nursing school changed the "anything goes" to a nursing uniform because of the poor choice of clothing students chose. A lot of whining in the beginning but they got over it. Parents should be an example that their children can make children proud. Parents also might think of the impression they're making when they want or need to advocate for their child.
79
I'm 100% in agreement with Principal Brown on this issue. How you present yourself in public sends a signal to your children and other parents and children. This doesn't call for fancy dress, just normal clothes. It's not too much to ask.
170
She's right, and it's not a class issue. Parents show up at schools in pyjamas in wealthy suburbs as often as they do in inner cities. Their kids are confused and hurt by it everywhere, although most kids care too much about their parents' feelings to mention how it affects them.
153
@india
Back in the late 50s and early 60s my mother used to drive us to our suburban schools wearing pajamas covered by a trench coat. I think she was making some sort of proto-feminist statement; she was an early riser and we were self-dressers, so this wasn't about urgency. Seriously. For our part we always hoped that a teacher would come out and ask her to come in to the school for an impromptu meeting or that the police would stop her for a safety check on the way home. Never happened, but we still chuckle about it.
13
I have been in a heated debate since the Notre Dame scandal broke, myself taking the stance that leggings are not inappropriate. In some cases (if private portions are covered by longer shirts) I think leggings can be more attractive than baggier pants on women that are overweight because they don't add to the bulk. My stance may be because I am a heterosexual female and seeing the curvature of women bodies doesn't attract my attention much. However, I get distracted by short skirts and necklines that expose cleavage and certainly if a man wears tight enough leggings to expose his bulge I'd take issue.
Re this particular story, we have 3 issues to debate (1 revealing dress, 2 informal dress and 3 cultural dress).
Restricting anyone from wearing revealing clothing to an institution that should command respect and may also be inhabited by a plethora of young people (schools but also places of worship, daycares, civic buildings, etc.) is judicious.
I also support the notion that the general population should just dress better while out in public. Remember the good old days when men wore top hats and suit coats? Now people go to the grocery store in their sweatpants. Come on now. But if people are hard and fast on this issue I will concede because it's more to do with my own thoughts on formalities, I don't believe informal dress actually causes anyone harm.
Finally, restricting the use of culturally specific pieces - like head scarves, is racist and should not be condoned.
28
@Conscientious Eater
I always go grocery shopping in a top hat.
30
@Conscientious Eater: Objectively, I think those top hats were always a mistake. How did they not notice the ridiculousness? But you're right, there's a lot to be said for a certain formality in public. I say this as one who has dressed pretty informally most of the time. But I can see the point to all that attention to detail etc.
1
@Conscientious Eater
Kinda funny.
" I get distracted by short skirts and necklines that expose cleavage and certainly if a man wears tight enough leggings to expose his bulge I'd take issue."
Men are not sexualized and women are in this culture of overt sexual exploitation. That is something to consider why is that?
I see men going on a date where the woman is dressed nicely and he looks like a slob.
As far as parenting goes, I know that setting an example is the first teaching exercise.
4
Did I miss the part where it states that the rules only apply to people of color? No ? Then it is not racist. Period. End of discussion.
228
@Jake - Try limiting headwear - including a yarmulke - in a school district - and then tell me that such a policy is not discriminatory and racist.
17
Give me a break! Asking parents to dress like adults (eg no pajamas) is not racist or elitist. I feel for this principal!
375
Good! As Barack Obama said, "Pull up your pants."
215
@vishmael
I thought that was Bill Cosby.
3
Didn’t Bill Cosby say that (too)?
1
School administrators need to learn that clothing and hair are very different things and don't fit under a general policy. As soon as hair is included in bans, the whole thing becomes subject to such criticism as to invalidate its original purpose.
I do feel strongly that people should not leave their home in pajamas unless they're going to the emergency room and they should dress appropriately for going to a place of learning.
The other wish I have is that parents would be banned from leaving their car idling when picking up their kids. It's wasteful and bad for the environment. That's a policy I'd really like to see happen.
72
@Suzanne Moniz: Right, the rules about hair and head coverings are where it seems to go wrong very quickly.
I wonder about the pajamas: I don't think I've seen anybody outdoors in pajamas in a long time. Maybe we aren't talking about what I think of as pajamas. I suppose a parent might get called in to school in an emergency, and just go in whatever they were wearing around the house.
5
@John Bergstrom
Pajamas means the printed fleece pull-on pants that are similar to sweatpants.
My children attended a Houston public school in a high-income neighborhood. I did a double-take when one mom wore these fleece pants to school.
She had been a staff member the year before, and was a PTO officer, as well as a certified teacher.
She was white.
4
Could we please extend these rules to airplanes and airports? I travel a lot, and I am appalled by my fellow travelers. Sunday, a very overweight gentleman in shorts took off his shoes and fell asleep with his bloated feet out in the aisle. There are ladies in curlers, short shorts, skin-tight leggings stretched thin, etc. People -- except for first-class -- these are tight quarters. Please be considerate of your fellow passengers and have a little dignity.
316
@Mary Rivka I wish I could like this a million times. I'm hardly a slave to fashion, but why did so many of us start showing-up to the airport looking like we just finished mucking-out the horse stall?
185
Amen, Mary. The Husband and I have actually been upgraded, by being very polite to the gate agents, and I suspect, being well dressed. People dressing like they're at a slumber party is distasteful and disrespectful, to everyone else. If that makes me a fussy old Lady, fine. But I'll be in First Class, enjoying the Trip.
Cheers.
68
@Mary Rivka I fly back and forth internationally often for work. When I'm chasing to get 5 hours of sleep on the red eye before heading into the office, I am dressing for comfort. Full stop. That is usually leggings, cozy socks, and a comfy sweater or sweatshirt. Your judgment isn't going to help me be as fully rested as possible, so frankly I'm not going to care. Society would be better off if we all just minded our own Ps and Qs.
59
Seriously, the notion that there is such a thing as appropriate clothing, and that wearing pajamas and hair curlers outside your own home is inappropriate, is elitist, classist, racist?
That is insulting to non-whites and working class people.
The school should be commended for respecting its clientele enough to uphold the minimal social standards required for success in the wider world, and teaching them to children. That is its role.
390
@AG
Um. No.
The school is there to educate students. This is a gross overreach.
18
Right on!
5
@Gwe
AG is right. Education should not be limited to Math and English.
14
"Satin caps and bonnets" means a shower cap.
Pajamas and a shower cap is not a way for any parent to go to into a school, except in an emergency.
288
@Talbot
What kind of emergency requires a parent to rush to school without even taking 2 minutes to take off a shower cap and change into proper street clothing?
29
@Talbot
I was wondering what was meant by that. It struck me as newsworthy that so many people in Houston were walking around dressed like Lord Byron.
I wonder why the author didn't simply say "shower caps."
26
@Talbot no, it doesn't mean shower cap - satin caps and bonnets (along with hair wraps) are widely used by african american women to protect their delicate hair follicles from being damaged during sleep and other activities where your head might rub against something. I agree, pajamas are not appropriate clothing for a school run. But your understanding of what a bonnet is is incorrect.
37
At Walmart I once saw an entire family of 5 in their pajamas. Slippers. As it was winter, coats atop the pjs provided a measure of dignity.
I wear a lot of REI and North Face clothing, actually not too far from adult pajamas. But there's a line. I think.
93
@Myrtle Markle,
appears for you that "the line" is between REI and North Face which are rather expensive attire and cheap KMart PJs that only poor people can afford.
your privilege is obvious in more ways than one.
18
@Myrtle Markle: "I wear a lot of REI and North Face clothing, actually not too far from adult pajamas."
Oh, about a $200 difference....
14
@JA "privilege..." wow, supercritical, when she's the one who drew attention to the similarity and is obviously aware of it... let's all cut each other some slack.
12
My son's senior year in 1999 was in turmoil when students started wearing pajamas and those fuzzy slippers to school. It was clearly a taunt for the administration---who ran and hid.
This was also the time when saggy pants became fashionable.
So, why do we still see this activity today?
36
Oh well, any standard can be branded as elitist. Perhaps that is why so few of them remain.
131
@Quiet Waiting
Now if we could get the schools in NYC to admit that enforcing basic discipline is not racist.
20
The biggest crime is Ms Brown's decision to accessorise that jacket with anything, much less those earrings AND necklaces. If we're going to be discerning about personal presentation, where is the grace, professional or timeless style and sense of proportion fitting for a school leader? Actually, frankly, I don't care, your jacket is fun but not when you implement that type of policy. Give me: 'I gotta get my kids out the door and to school with my hair rollers on' any day, all day, please, and thank you.
23
I was in the office of a high school principal in Texas when a teenager was waiting for her mother to bring her clothing to cover a low-cut tight mini-dress, which didn't meet the school's dress code. When her mother showed up, she was also wearing a low-cut tight mini-dress. It can't hurt to send a note out to parents about what is expected with apparel, but this situation made me realize it can be an uphill battle.
221
Because curlers really are elitist. Classy...
26
This is sexist and it appears Ms. Brown has forgotten who is supposed to be working for whom. It seems that showing disrespect for mothers is always in fashion.
12
@Fern
I'd bet that fathers in pajamas would also be expected to get dressed. What is disrespectful about expecting respect for a school's reasonable -- and moderate rules -- that create no great discomfort for anyone?
84
@Rea Tarr It is disrespectful for a school to humiliate parents in front of their children according to how those parents are dressed, independent of their conduct. It is disrespectful to turn away a mother who is there to enroll her child because the principal doesn't like her attire. It is disrespectful for a school administrator to behave as if parents are ragged serfs appearing before the queen. It is appropriate for schools to set dress standards for students. It is not appropriate for them to do so for parents.
16
@Fern
As I teacher, I don't see myself as working for you (as your first post suggested.) That is what is disrespectful. The dress code is written; there's nothing here that says the school's determination is to "humiliate parents in front of their children."
How can one aver that dress standards might be appropriate for students on the one hand, yet not be equally good for parents or the same students?
26
I support some of this. It’s troubling that adults have to be told not to show up at their kid’s school in pajamas or a shower cap. How long does it take to put on pants?
That said, I don’t see any problem with a head wrap or a scarf if they’re having a “bad hair day”
198
@RP Smith -- There is a big difference between an ethnic head wrap or scarf and pajamas, shower cap, and curlers.
121
@Mary Rivka Please excuse my hair covering terminology. I'm a non-religious, bald, white male.
12
@RP Smith A head wrap or scarf is not just for bad hair days. It's a way of styling and protecting curly hair, often black hair.
8
Fine. Keep wearing PJs to your children's school. See how that works out for them in the end. Its likely different in Houston, but in my area (where this is quite common) it's more of a class issue than a race issue. But I don't think that makes the practice ok.
133
Unfortunately, this situation falls in that awkward place of "it shouldn't matter, but it does". On one side you have the ideal and on the other the reality. A difficult choice.
21