Ms. Land, You probably helped enrich and prolong the life of the woman you served. Thank you for doing what you did.
32
Of course there's absolutely nothing wrong with honest work and getting your hands dirty. What what is really wrong is ,as a hardworking person on your knees you have to worry about if you can afford the hospital bill , put a roof over your head or food on the table and the richest country on Earth that just gave 1.6 billion dollar tax cut to its richest. And now are gunning for the rest of the safety social net, cutting food stamps reducing Medicare and Social Security. This is what I find Despicable and immoral.
73
When my older brother was young, our mother hired Elenora, a young African American woman to help clean our house. Both the woman and my mother would work together, making our home spic and span on a weekly basis. Occasionally the woman would baby sit for me as a child and help for large family get-togethers, setting the table, cleaning dishes after the meal, vacuum when it was over. She was lovely, cute, always friendly, worked very hard in moving furniture etc. After a number of years Elenora married, and then decided to go become a nurse, continuing to clean for our family while going through training, and even continued to clean our house on her off days when starting as a nurse. When my parents decided to get new dining room furniture, she and her husband purchased some of the old set; the china cabinet is now in my possession. A few months ago I had a note from her daughter, asking if I was part of the family that had helped her mother with a job when young, saying how much our family meant to her. In our exchange, I happened to mention the dining room furniture; she knew it well, saying it had been used for many family events over the years, and now was in her possession. To me it brought back many thoughts, as well as new emotion of how far that table had traveled from my grandparents house in Germany to our home in Missouri and sill in use today in the home of the daughter of the young woman who became an extension of our family so many years ago.
59
Mia's right. "Yay!"
18
What this article and the comments suggest to me is how differently women treat each other in business relationships than do men. With men it's a zero-sum game usually but with women such as we see here there is mutual benefit as the goal. We really should rule the world!
42
As I push 70, recently retired from a successful business, not in the cleaning industry, this article brings me back. As a young single woman with a pre-school child I worked as a self employed house cleaner. I was able to choose clients who were respectful and treated my kindly, as well as paid me well. One woman in particular was struggling in her own life. It seemed much more settled than mine, but as she served me lunch and talked about her life, I came to know her challenges. This helped to clarify for me the constancy of challenge.
It was honest work, and filled the edges of days when I was doing other things. It helped to pay the bills. Now I hire a recent immigrant to clean my house, her husband has quit his low paying job to join her burgeoning business. She cleans well and thoroughly, and often goes the extra step. I care about her and her family, and she about mine. She makes good money. I am proud to be in a position to hire her, not only for myself, but for her and her new American family also.
House cleaning is honest work, if we can allow it to be. Pay your housekeeper well. Treat her nicely. Respect and money. Do it. You will be surprised by what else comes.
356
Five years ago I find myself in over my head, having to care for both my elderly mother and a beloved brother with terminal cancer. I engaged two teams of women to clean my place and my brother's.
Their diligence, empathy and cheerfulness was a great balm to my very weary soul. I was well aware of how much they needed money and sought to give them holiday bonuses, extra jobs, lunch, etc. I remembered what it was like to be struggling financially, and as an older woman it was my joy to share what I now had.
I was so touched when I saw the two women I had engaged for my brother arrive for his wake, dressed in their finest outfits. In fact, I cried.
As for my cleaning team, they remain with me. I have comforted them through their losses as well. We greet each other at my door every two weeks with a round of hugs before they start their work.
After all, we have been through a lot together and have become family.
451
@TM okay, I'm crying.
43
I have similar memories, Ms. Land. I'll be 69 in four days and some of my memories of being an independent housekeeper are still in my thoughts today.
I had 3 children, one had already left home but the other two were just getting ready to enter middle school. I also had my Dad and Mom. My Dad was expected to die at any time and my Mom was severely handicapped. One night, after everyone else was in bed, he told me he wished he could die in Texas where he born. Then I did a really stupid thing the next day. I quit my two jobs, put a deposit on a U-haul and 3 weeks later we were on the road hauling my car behind in the biggest U-Haul truck I'd ever seen.
We arrived in a little town just a bit north of where he had lived as a child and young adult. I rented a small 3 bedroom apartment and began looking for jobs. That was Reagan time. Nobody was hiring, not even doctors or hospitals. I cleaned houses for memorable women. One had been a POW in WW2. One taught me how to clean everything with the cleaning products she made herself. I still use the recipes today. Another was a writer and she hired me to come clean her baseboards on Saturday mornings because I needed the money to buy Dad's medicine. Then there was the woman who made beautiful quilts and taught me about gardening as we'd quilt together on Wen. evening (no pay). The entire time I worked as a maid, on one client was never home. These women enriched my life. I loved them and still do.
329
I enjoyed reading this. I bet your book is going to be great. I wish I could hire someone like this to help me. I need help cleaning, but more of it is loneliness I need help with.
29
I feel a motion picture coming on...
Rights enquiries should be directed to her literary agent.
15
The folks for whom you worked, Stephanie, were far luckier to have you than were you to have them.
22
Yes, I would look forward to reading much more from Stephanie Land in the NY Times.
20
More of this author please.
More happy meals for her and Mia.
Even if they're not actually McDonald's "happy meals."
22
I don't understand the voice of the author. Are you the cleaner? If so, you will be awash in the future despite the struggles and $ for writers these days.
precious story!
4
Dear Stephanie,
You’re also a good writer.
14
A [New] Tree Grows In Brooklyn.
11
I don't understand why people aren't capable of cleaning their own houses. And if you are terminally ill, why would you care if your house is clean?
Ms. Land was not always so positive and upbeat.
https://nypost.com/2019/01/12/maids-tell-all-reveals-dirty-secrets-of-americas-middle-class/
She did however manage to get her degree and become a professional writer.
4
That story hits a little to close to home.
Love this essay.
1
We pay our maid and our nanny $20 an hour, overtime (for the nanny), disability / unemployment insurance and paid time off. Ethically, either you can afford to hire people with the wages and benefits they are entitled to, or you can’t hire them at all. The middle people who take cuts for minimal added benefit are parasites for the most part.
9
You remind me of my current cleaner, a smart, energetic immigrant who makes my day with her warm hug and enthusiasm and whose children I hope end up studying and working alongside mine. Of course, I hire her more than I need to, but of course I also appreciate someone half my age doing the chores I once did for others, too.
196
@kate I’ve had my cleaner for 30 years, she is now over 70! She has helped me keep on top of things since I brought my first son home from hospital. Now, 5 children & many many pets later, she comes in 2 mornings a week, has a cuppa,& we do a bit of light house work together while she fills me in on the latest gossip. As I say to my children, you can’t sack a 70 year old, and she needs the money for her next adventure/ holiday!
42
I am appalled that I live in the richest country there ever was, and people live like this. Worried about feeding their 3 year old. It's a crime. Ms. Land, there is enormous dignity in what you do, just as there is enormous dignity in all real work. I wish and Mia well, she certainly has a wonderful mother.
472
"I am appalled that I live in the richest country there ever was .."
That is not true. Case in point: due to oil wealth and thrift, Norway has zero taxpayer debt and a fully-funded SocSecurity program. The USA has neither.
IMHO, "criminal" are memes unconnected from reality, being tossed around as "facts" .. when they are really opinions, and nothing more.
19
This is a beautiful piece which gives me thanks for people to share their experiences, like Ms. Land, and the NYT. I am striving to make America a place where someone in this position can spend their life performing a service which is necessary, and how most others mentioned extremely helpful to others. Work like this should be supported by a system where people can do work which our society needs and be supported to live in a nice place, send their kids to good schools and not have to live hand to mouth.
Thank you for sharing.
126
None of us knows how much time we have to live, Stephanie Land, and your well-written story about your housecleaning for the elderly dying woman was a brilliant insight into life -- of a young single mother who was forced to take jobs of house-cleaning to pay her bills in this dystopian time. In old age, we aging women living alone face the need for helping hands, for young house cleaners or helpers driving us to markets, or doctors' appointments. We are in a different time continuum than you are with your little girl, as you take off-the-grid jobs to pay the rent, repair your car, supplement a small salary for a professional home cleaning job. You earned the $100 prize for cleaning a client's home, and YAY! you took your little daughter for a Happy Meal. we're all clapping for you, Stephanie, and wishing you good luck and joy!
95
Great story! Although I have “made it” in life financially I take time every today to think of my times like this to keep working even harder and to give back to others like they did for me. I hope you make it as a writer!
58
Nine dollars an hour is not a fair or sufficient wage for the work this writer describes. Most people who can afford household cleaning help can afford to pay appropriately for it, and they should do so.
I employ a woman to clean my house bi-weekly and pay her $30. an hour - her standard fee. She is hard-working, intelligent, honest and a pleasure to be around. She earns every penny and is worth every penny.
She improves my life, and I am blessed to have her help.
114
Beautiful essay. Thank you.
5
Ms. Land, thank you for sharing this piece with readers of The Times. The value of hard work and its impression on your daughter are priceless. Please know that it's okay to accept the money, since YOU ARE WORTH IT. Don't ever let anyone ever tell you that you aren't worth it. And, as you undoubtedly now know, you have it within you to be an entrepreneur. You go girl!!
9
a great story except for the unhappy ending . a happy meal? really?
3
The extra cash in her pocket helped her afford that $5 for a happy meal. You may find that a depressing ending to this story, but mom and child were obviously delighted.
22
I live in small town midwest and have a 2000 square foot house that gets cleaned 2 times a month. The woman that cleans gets $45 an hour. She works for two hours and does a fabulous job. She is not an illegal alien.
It is inconceivable to me that New Yorkers pay $9 an hour for domestic help. Unreal.
2
The writer is based in the Skagit Valley, Washington State, not New York. She also works for a cleaning agency. She may have been receiving $9/hr, but I bet the Agency is charging more than that!
15
@Lisbeth Paige , yup, I agree. Typically the markup on such things is 100% (according to an industry insider). So if she was being paid $9/hr, the agency was likely charging the client $18/hr or (very likely) more.
7
Given the headline, I was expecting something more philosophical. The lesson appears to be how to expand a cleaning business. Are people really so fascinated that someone would clean houses to make money. I did, but so long ago, we ran an ad in the newspaper.
4
Keep writing. I admire your industrious attitude! You are a blessing to all you clean for. They trust you. As do I of your writing compass.
7
I can guess that you are a good house cleaner, but I know for sure you are a terrific writer.
15
Often nurses do what others think of as lowly--wiping a dirty bottom after a bowel movement. But sick patients are grateful. When I worked in a hospital in Palm Springs, CA, where there were a lot of retired captains of business, one patient stated this: "I didn't turn into a decent human being until age 60. It took me that long." Wow.
8
NYTimes, take hint. In times of darkness we need more opinion pieces such as this, and not of politics, if we are to ever see the light again.
22
Brought tears! Why is it that only a few are fair and compassionate? Stephanie Land's writing moves you. What a brilliant person!
4
Twenty years after "Nickel and Dimed," things aren't any better. (And I wonder if Ms. Land worked for Merry Maids, too?) Can't wait to BUY (not just read) the book.
13
You are the bomb. The first skill my mother taught me was to clean. I haven't done it to make money yet. I have thought about it, and about working as a housekeeper, running things for people who don't have time. But I'm not ashamed of my skill. In fact, unlike so many people, male or female, I'm proud of the ability to keep order that so many find menial. It's good exercise, too! The best to you, Stephanie.
13
This is the exact type of job that undocumented immigrants definierly compete for (i.e. take away) with native Americans. Many unaware people justify a nearly full take over of such an occupation field as "... o.k. because Americans don't want them and are too lazy".
And here we have an author writing that not only did she desperately need it but found value in it.
I'm extremely liberal, but having done this work and jobs like it. I have friends, right now, in the depths of winte,r in a dead tourist town, doing this work and needing it. We both have had to compete against undocumented labor who can always undercut you and will work at any cost. I LOATHE when more wealthy/unaware readers write in to these columns and use the trope "Well....nobody wants that work anyway" as an excuse for illegal immigration.
7
When it’s busy tourist season, do you and your friends move onto “better” jobs? Or is it only when you absolutely have no other option do you take on these positions...
3
This column makes me think of the mothers and children trying to get asylum in the US and the undocumented owners who are, and always have, worked for Donald Trump, at Mar-a-Lago at present, and building his hotels for him in the past. It is so sad to know that, this column would not move our president one iota, even as he calls those of the kind he hires, rapists, murderers, and drug smugglers.
6
women helping women.
world needs more nurturers
not impostors or those who posture.
forget instagram this is real life instagrans and instamoms.
4
It is very, very important to use the fancy teacups while you still can.
180
Heartwarming and uplifting- fine writing and a great story. I look forward to the book!
10
Through all the noise and messiness in the world, quiet lives are beautifully being lived.
30
This is a beautiful essay, showing the core of our best intentions. A dying woman struggling to put her life in order, and keep her life in order. Another woman reaching out a helping hand when one is most needed.
But those hands were needed because a company that charges something like $25 and hour for cleaning, keeps 56% of the revenue for overhead and profit, and pays the person who gives 100% of the value less than half.
We have to rethink labor. Is the value of the Uber the ride or the app? You are not going to get anywhere unless the car shows up. The value of a maid service is the maid. No matter how well run, how carefully insured, how selective of products, that house will not clean itself.
This is lovely story of good people, who are memorable because they actually saw their "maid" as a person of value - more value than $9 and hour.
45
This is the fallacy of the “gig” economy. When you hire a cleaner, driver, or someone to care for your dog through an online service they are feeling more than half the fee and paying the person doing the work $8 to $10 an hour...well under the hourly rate it takes to live almost anywhere. Plus the person who does your work has absolutely no benefits of any kind. This is simply not sustainable.
29
I read this article as I did the previous one by Ms. Land, instantly captivated and awestruck by the simple everyday struggle to do hard work for little pay and observing others' lives and disappointments. I look forward to reading her book when it is available.
14
What a beautiful story. I only wish I could find someone such as yourself to help me through the "golden years". At 83, keeping up a house alone has not been either easy nor very successful.
May you enjoy the blessing you have earned by helping others.
25
Stephanie -
Did you ever get the chance to tell the dying woman that she taught you something valuable? I’m sure it would have meant a lot to her.
When did you have time to write? We’re you able to think while you cleaned?
Your writing is lovely. I want more!
23
Written with dignity and compassion. But all it does is to reinforce the 'work hard and you will succeed' myth that keeps the poor in their place.
13
@oxfordon. There is no myth to hard work and you will succeed. But, there is a success rate. Some people will succeed and some will fail. All will fail who never try.
I am more successful than I every thought possible. There is a secret sauce that is difficult to make. It's made from hard work, adapting the right priorities, always being low maintenance, but also knowing when to leverage change to your advantage. Then, toss in a pile of luck.
Ms. Land didn't just work hard, she negotiated for herself and built her own business. She also developed her writing skills.
No myth at all.
26
@oxfordon I think you are wrong in your appraisal unless you intended "succeed" to mean "survive".
Helping people come to the ends of their lives is holy work. It is what I do. I am a Hospice Chaplain and this work is incredibly inspirational and surprisingly life affirming. I am an Episcopalian but my faith is not all that important because we are taught to use the faith (or absence of faith) of the people we are blessed to help to help them to make sense out of what us an experience that comes to us all. The author of this essay has found the secret to living a life of purpose: reaching out to help our brothers and sisters to find hope, peace and finally resolution in the act of dying. Her story touches me deeply because of what she has learned and is teaching through her work and her words: that we exist because we were loved and our true purpose here is to love each other and to find the means to continuously MOVE in that direction. That this is not a philosophical exercise if the mind...but an intentional physical movement if the body to reach out in love to those who need us most and to love God’s creations with our hearts, souls and bodies every minute of every day. It is why we are alive.
And we need to get busy!
22
Stephanie's respect and warmth for her dying client made me think of a role she could be uniquely suited for that I heard about years ago - a doula for the dying...
17
I enjoyed this essay & I'll be interested to read more from this writer.
I'm surprised by the tone of the some of the comments, though: that society abandons the poor, etc--- it seems to me that although this lady worked very hard, there WAS help for her: food stamps, shelter, and compassion from employers.
15
Thank you for the beautiful writing and full perspective. I hope you will enjoy great success in your life and it sounds like you are well on your way. Such dignity and work ethic is a breath of fresh air to read about. May many of your meals be happy!
18
This is the exact type of job that undocumented immigrants definitely compete for (i.e. take away) with native Americans. Many unaware people justify a nearly full take over of such an occupational field as "... o.k. because Americans don't want them and are too lazy".
And here we have an author writing that not only did she desperately need it but found value in it.
I'm extremely liberal, I have done this work and jobs like it. I have friends, right now, in the depths of winter in a dead tourist town, doing this work and needing it. We both have had to compete against undocumented labor who can always undercut you and will work at any cost. I LOATHE when more wealthy/unaware readers write in to these columns and use the trope "Well....nobody wants that work anyway" as an excuse for illegal immigration.
10
@Ignatius J. Reilly
We all need to press our politicians to raise the minimum wage to $15.00 per hour. Those of us who do this heavy, dirty work need to unite together- American born and immigrants, for decent wages and Medicare for all.
Divided we fall.
10
Kitchen cleaning is extremely time consuming even if it's not that dirty to begin with. It's also back breaking. (I speak from long experience, and just finished cleaning my own oven and merely the outside of my refrigerator.)
You deserved at least that amount.
16
Maids in New York City make $100 for three hours of work. Where the rich people are, there's money to be made doing service work.
3
Yes but the cost of living in NYC is also higher. That money doesn’t go as far in places where a half gallon of milk is $6.
13
Your essay touched me deeply, I look forward to your book.
27
Loved your story, sad as it was (is?), as it reminds all of us we stand together in trying to solve the struggles of every day, and with the hope that tomorrow shall be better than today. And, it seems, you found kindred spirits, likely with your experience in living paycheck to paycheck...and an occasional "happy meal" for Mia. Just don't count on Trump, eager to render you invisible so he can go on cheating on us, and depriving thousands of their livelihood.
14
One hundred dollars is not much for cleaning out an apartment for a new tenant. I have done such work, and believe me it sometimes takes more than a couple of hours just to clean up a stove or a fridge in a rental unit. Cleaning is an undervalued occupation often performed by illegal immigrants. Sadly, they are way underpaid and this keeps wages low for everyone in this field! One reason, that although I'm liberal and an immigrant myself, I tend to agree with those who say that employers of illegals should be severely penalized.
16
YAY! To you and your daughter.
Congratulations on your book!!
9
A very poignant piece given the fact that the government shutdown has put many Federal employees and contractors without pay in this situation although temporary _ so we are led to believe.
4
Having survived three potentially fatal diseases dating back 20 years, I am keenly aware that in the most dire of circumstances, there are so many ways to bless others and allow yourself to be blessed by them even in the most unusual times or places. You've described a couple of such instances in your lovely recounting -- just be sure that once the crisis passes, you find ways to hold on that feeling you get when goodness and kindness is given or received. It's too easy to revert to our self absorption if we don't.
9
I don't know why, but everyone who's ever dealt with adversity has a far greater appreciation and love of life than those who haven't. I don't recommend misery - I really don't - yet I am grateful that I was able to survive that part of my life.
L'Chaim!
46
I learned that experiences are very important for writers when they describe their works vividly and profoundly. They cannot get those experiences just by studying at university. Communicating with the weak people including the elderly will be a big asset for writers.
6
You are not alone. You will be ok, you will do amazing things, such as raising a strong and resilient daughter. For you are strong and resilient. Smart and ambitious. Thank you for your story, so well told. I know you will have an amazing life.
39
I have finally found money in my budget to pay for a cleaner to come once a week. She’s a single mom with two girls, who told me that she cleans houses so they won’t have to. I’m grateful for her hard work and to be able to help her in some small way to keep that promise. Having worked cleaning rooms in a hotel one long-ago summer, I know why it’s so important to her.
Thanks to Ms Land for sharing her story.
50
In the 1970s, while working in New York as a copy editor (most of my meager salary went in for child care), I became very ill and went into the hospital for 3 weeks with peritonitis. When I came out, I no longer had a job and was weak as a noodle. I got myself and my two children back on our feet by working as what we then called a a "charlady." A friend, an unemployed artist, went in with me. It saved our lives, and probably our sanity as well. It was good honest manual labor, and if someone who hired us turned out to be not so nice, we just finished out the day, collected our pay and never went back. In those days, the going rate for the two of us was $10/hour.
25
@SFR--Wow. In 1970, between colleges, I worked at a resort in Utah cleaning rooms and washing dishes. I made 80¢/hour.
Fortunately my parents put me up so I could save it all for school. You do what you must to get by.
18
My mom is aged and she has a cleaner. First of all, cleaners deserve a decent wage since they spend time to arrive ad hoc etc. $9 per hour indicates to me that your agent was taking a big cut. And it is no surprise to me that the actual clients are generous. The service you do and the connection you make are worth so much more than simply the modest wage and the dust done away.
41
Clean a house, clean the World, cleanse a Soul.
You are fantastic. Congratulations on the Book, well done.
58
@Phyliss Dalmatian I'll be thinking about your comment for a long time.
That's deep.
Thank you.
Loved the story, too.
6
Like so much of the rest of the world, America is much harder on women than it is on men.
Stephanie Land is a talented writer. Although she has the grace to write about her experiences cleaning up after others, she really should never have had to be brought into that position.
Consider how many books she longed to write during those hours, and while she cared for her Mia.
Our publishing industry is profoundly broken, too.
30
@Maria Ashot I agree that this country is very hard on women, and I also think that she probably did long to write. But I am a little surprised that you think it is terrible that she worked as a cleaning lady. It is honest work, and it helps. In fact many women would never have the chance to write were it not for the women who clean houses. (The reliance of professional working women on the support of domestic workers is pretty well covered.)
Obviously, there is risk of abuse in working in a domestic situation - but if a cleaning person is paid a decent wage, and treated appropriately by a decent boss, why is that a terrible way for someone to make a living while getting launched? I didn't do it a lot - and most of my menial work before getting launched was in an office context, not a domestic context - but I did some pretty humble work before being the exalted professional wonder that I now pretend to be. There's no horror in that, is there?
29
Completely agree. In 30 years of hiring house cleaners I have mostly employed men. When a man cleans homes, he has a cleaning business. When self employed women clean homes - they’re “just” maids? It’s needed work, and if you have nice clients it’s emotionally and physically safe, can pay way better than minimum wage and there’s no boss. You can work mother’s hours, and listen to your favorite music or podcasts, too. Let’s have some respect for unglamorous but necessary work that beats deadens, poorly paid retail/service work.
27
This is what "gritz' really means. I was young when the Depression-era generation was still very much alive, and I knew few people who didn't have a similar story. Thanks, Ms Land, for teling this part of your life. I hope to read more as you succeed.
32
This is a beautiful and moving essay. Anybody who has struggled should be able to relate.
56
We are all in this together. We are happy if and when we understand this.
50
Thank you for a moving essay. Tried to hold in some tears as I read it. Reminds me that we can still have a meaningful impact on others in ways we cannot always anticipate with just the job description.
We often hold CEOs/doctors/engineers etc. in higher esteem, but forget that our society would crumble without people doing less glamorous jobs and that anybody who provides a service is no less important than the next person.
123
I hope it isn't lost on readers that this is the exact white working class job and perspective that got many people voting for Trump and rooting for a wall.
People (with families) that need these jobs in fields that have direct competition from illegal immigrants. Often written off as "jobs no American wants" , yet we see can lead to other things (college etc.) and put food on the table.
There are many people out there like Stephanie Land and you can understand their ire when they feel they are being overlooked.
32
@Ignatius J. Reilly
There are plenty of Americans who do want these jobs and there are plenty of us who do not cheat the system by hiring and underpaying illegals. I lived all of my working years in Seattle and from the time my oldest was six, was fortunate enough to be able to afford a cleaning lady. Even in the 1960s I was paying $10.00 an hour plus Social Security. By the time I retired and we we moved away in 2004 I was paying $25.00 an hour as were most of the people I knew. But I didn't know anyone who had a white person working for them as most domestic workers in that area were African Americans, Asians of Hispanics. I'm glad this woman found decent employers and got away from working for a "service" that underpaid her. But we don't need a wall to make sure the Stephanie Lands get the jobs they need and decent wages. We need penalties for those who cheat the system by paying cash under the table and not paying Social Security.
60
@Ignatius J. Reilly If we made it possible for "illegal immigrants" to enforce job rights, there would be no benefit to hiring them as compared to citizens or people who enter the country legally. What makes it possible for illegal immigrants to undercut those who are permitted to work are (1) dishonest and immoral people who hire them under the table at less than legitimate wages and benefits, and (2) a system that makes it impossible for them to enforce their rights without risking deportation. Get rid of either of those two factors, and there would be no disadvantage to permitted workers.
16
Excuse me. I’ve had cleaning people for 30 years. Until my recent cleaners, the four I’ve had were all white and most were college educated. And three of the four were men. I have to say that my current crew are my favorites. They are immigrants, but not illegal. I hire people who are reliable, honest and do a decent job. I do not care where they were born or what language they speak to each other.
9
My Mom was a domestic worker her entire life, she never earned more than $75 a week. But she was good and dependable, When the family she worked for purchased a new home beyond the reach of public transportation she regrettably gave them notice. She loved working for them but there was no way for her to get tere.
Not only did they buy her a brand new car, they paid for her driving lessons as none of us knew how to drive! She continued to work for them for many years until she was no longer able, but they kept in touch until my Mom passed.
There are good people in the world; sometimes we just have to remember to look past all the hatred and bigotry being spewed.
219
@Ann
My grandparents in Kentucky never paid their domestic help more than the prevailing wage, but bought the woman who worked for them for over 50 years a house and my Grandmother left her a substantial sum in her will.
67
I'll take Lucia Berlin's "A Manual For Cleaning Women" instead. Timeless writing
The writing voice here is too knowingly directed at an audience.
"Hey middle and upper class people who buy books and read the Times - can you believe that I'm smart enough to write, most likely white but had to scrub toilets?" and or "This is what it's like living hand to mouth with a kid."
I myself live this life and many, many of my otherwise educated friends do. Many with kids. Many artists have lived like this for a long time. It's not that jarring a scenario at all for me, It's just work people. It is obviously a commonplace story not being told by the emotional comments here.
Any book that has a "Description" in the title "Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother's Will to Survive" borders on self help level.
Still if it opens otherwise unknowing people;s eyes I'm o.k. with it all in all.
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Heaven forfend a writer consciously consider her audience! Also, Berlin's (wonderful) book is a short story collection. This is a memoir. There's room for both. Actually, even if they were the same genre there'd still be room for both.
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@Ignatius J. Reilly
I am always curious about commenters that adopt the name of famous people or fictional characters rather than use their own name or some character of their own creation.
So what's your reason Iggy?
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@Ignatius J. Reilly You reversed the lead:
" . . .if it opens otherwise unknowing people's eyes I'm OK with it all [as] any book that has a 'Description' in the title 'Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother's Will to Survive' borders on self help level."
Then, go right ahead and trash the author's work while dispensing free advice. Yes, I did give you a "Recommend."
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Imagine if we lived in a society that let people pursue their educational and professional goals without having to scrub toilets for a living. It wonderful to meet supportive and generous homeowners, but how many women fall below their potential because they are not so lucky?
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Ms. Land, I hope you've read "Broom of My Own" by Nancy Peacock, which is a memoir about her life as a maid while she became a writer. She has now published several novels. I really enjoyed your post. When I was in my early 20s, single with two small children, I made ends meet by putting up posters of rock groups coming to town, stapling them to telephone poles and watching for the police (the phone company didn't approve of my activity but it paid $25/week, which I sorely needed). I now have two published novels. I wish you the best.
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Trust me, Ms. Land, you were a Godsend to this woman, and the greatest gift she could have wished for.
She needed assistance -- and she needed a friend. You graciously provided both, and she sounds a most lovely person as well, with the give and take she shared.
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Ms. Land;
Your story and how expressed brought tears to my eyes and a moment of hope in a time of desperation.
Thank you.
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@Paul I'm with you Paul! Although I don't share your dire situation, the writing was lovely.
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@Paul
The desperation referred in my post was for the Country. We are indeed in desperate times akin to Germany in the early 1930's. Ms. Land's story made me feel the "next chapter, My Leader" isn't inevitable.
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I am approaching an age when I will eventually need help around the house and I have always looked at that eventual dependence with a degree of dread. After reading your essay I realize that providing a job and income to someone who needs it shouldn’t be viewed as a failing. Your experience from the other side of that equation made me recognize that what it really represents is mutually beneficial arrangement that can provide great benefit on both sides. Thank you for this, more than I can say.
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@WesternMass My cleaning lady was a blessing. She did the work I could no longer do, and provided me with company which, as a retired disabled homebody, I desperately needed. She was like a daughter to me. She has now gone on to bigger and better things, and I could not be more proud of her.
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You are a gift story teller. Thank you for this wonderful and very moving essay. I have just preordered your book from Amazon.
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you are marvelous!! will be ordering your book and i will keep looking for your byline... a beautiful and moving essay
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My friend's mother was a maid to a wealthy family in NYC a few decades ago. My friend remembers afternoon and early evenings spent in that kitchen doing her homework. The lady of the house admired my friend's work ethic and during high school/ college used her connections to help her get scholarships and internships. My friend today is a professor of medicine.
My mother taught me that all work. - which does not involve cheating, stealing, harming others -- is honorable. She worked as a accountant in SE Asia but after fleeing to the US as a refugee did secretarial work to support us as she continued to learn English.
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After an agonizing internal struggle, I have decided to hire someone to help me with my cleaning. Having been raised in a "pull your own weight" family, and having read 'Nickled and Dimed', it seems somehow wrong to ask someone else to clean up after me, even if I am paying them.
This makes me feel less like I am taking advantage of someone, if I am paying them a fair amount of money, and treating them like a human being. Thank you, Ms. Land, for sharing your story.
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@Woman, me too. I'm shortly going to be in over my head with work, and this makes me feel like maybe I'll be able to help someone who's helping me.
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Yes! This is just what I needed to counter the negativity of the daily news cycle.
Ordinary people helping people in small ways, day in and day out.
That is what makes life good. That is what makes society better.
Hope your book is a bestseller!
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“She couldn’t have known how much I needed the extra income...”
I’m an old lady. Don’t be too sure! You’d be surprised how many of us struggled when we were young. And how happy we are to extend a helping hand. Especially when we run across someonel like you.
What a great read! So glad you’ve made good progress from those helping hands.
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@TheraP. Yes, it takes a village to raise a child. And there are lots of young and old “children” trying to find their way. I have over the years created projects and hired people I encounter who need a helping hand. I volunteered at a homeless shelter in New York City for young people and ended up hiring one of them to become an administrative assistant. I paid off his debt with a 0% loan and funded his tuition. He graduated last month. I’ve got another young man struggling to survive coming over this afternoon to help me prepare to move in three weeks. There is so much dysfunction in our families today, alcohol, drugs, and mental illness, that some kids don’t get a chance. We have to step in where we can. It’s the right thing to do.
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Reading this, I can't help but think about the immigrant families detained at our southern border.
For many of them, their America stories might be as heartbreakingly beautiful as this, if given a chance.
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@Chrislav
Yes I agree, their kids should get the Happy Meal instead of her's.
Any of them should have this job that she desperately needed had tried so hard to get in a small town competitive economy where $9 an hour sounds pretty good. Heck they'll even do it for $7. It's how competition works- Marx called it a race to the bottom when there's enough desperation involved.
Her crime is she was born here with some adversity and their virtue is they will always be from more dire circumstances.
Happy Meals for Everyone!
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@Ignatius J. Reilly I think your posts show how you have missed the point. Working hard at what many consider to be menial work brings more self-esteem and joy, to the worker and to the one purchasing the service. The immigrants that I know want a better life for their children, and they work hard, at multiple jobs, to achieve that goal. These are the people who make America great...and it doesn't matter the color of their skin or the original country of their birth. How about we honor hard workers of all colors and nationalities, instead of adulating trust fund babies and hedge fund managers who get rich by moving other people's money around!!
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@Chrislav
Ummm.... many of them they would've this job INSTEAD of Stephanie Land.
They would have her job position, at a lower rate most likely. That is how competition in a field like this works.
How could you miss that point? She needed this job and many insist that undocumented immigrants should have it because people don't want it and or are lazy. it wasn't a dead end job, it helped her to college.
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Ms. Land, I am so moved by your story and your writing skills. Best of luck to you and your daughter.
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Ms. Land, thank you so much for sharing your gifts and talents with people who can read your article from all over the world.
I've had the same cleaning helper for 25 years and she is like family. With my disability, I cannot do some of the strenuous work I pay her to do, yet we have shared coffee and meals and I helped her fill out the papers to buy her first home. She is the hardest working woman I know, 2 homes a day, 5 days a week, 8-10 hrs daily. I cannot thank her enough for her work ethic.
I am sure everyone adores you.
God Bless you.
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@mainesummers Ms. Land, Please keep writing/ We need you to do so. God bless you. John
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The wonderful and competent deep staters that keep our democracy humming figured out it was cheaper to keep seniors like my wife and I in our own home and have provided us with wonderful help these last four years.
Thanks for this wonderful story. I hope the last few years has provided as much for those who helped us as they have for us.
We have always known that people who can get down on their knees and scrub toilets can be better teachers than the most accomplished university prof and sometimes they are a lot smarter.
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My thanks to all of you who responded in such beautiful ways to this article. I too am deeply moved by this story of generosity.
A Mathematician
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Your story is like a flower unfolding. How moving to read about your life, and much it instructs my own!
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Thank you so much for this essay, Ms. Land. It touched me deeply. I hope many, many Americans read your story and strongly consider your beautiful, humble, and inspiring perspective.
I wish the best for you and your daughter.
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In a short essay, you have shown that both the giver and the receiver are blessed -every act of kindness makes an impact, whether perceived or not. Beautifully written and inspiring. Thank you.
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Wonderfully written. You are a shining example for all. Good luck in any endeavor you choose as it is obvious that you will succeed.
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You are a gifted writer, Ms. Land. This is a wonderful essay which I thoroughly enjoyed. I hope you get to write a whole lot more in the future. Best of luck to you and Mia.
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Good work. Work is good. I get it. I just ordered your book. Congratulations.
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This beautifully written essay confirms my belief that it is not what you do, but how you do something, that gives meaning to your life.
One last thing...life without struggle ceases to have a meaning. My dad always said "welcome difficulties".
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You are an angel of mercy for the dying woman, and clearly for other clients, too.
As a Seattle native, I know that Skagit Valley is one of the most beautiful places in USA, with the largest tulip farms in America, the Cascade Mountains on one side and Puget Sound on the other.
You add to the beauty of that special place.
I have a feeling you will add beauty every place you ever live.
May you soon have a wonderful career as a writer! Do not give up.
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Let me commend you for your cleaning. That job doesn't have the glamour or cachet of writing - which you do well - but it is a valuable and valued service worthy of honor and respect.
Having a cleaning service frees me to enjoy my home without housekeeping 'got to's' on my mind. It gives me the pleasure of a home cleaned with great pride, and helping to support another. When I was injured the cleaning service was more than a luxury, it enabled me to stay at home.
There's no shame in any service. We depend on each other to make life livable and fun, to make life possible. The most menial task is worth of respect, honor and pride.
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I enjoyed reading this tremendously. Ms. Land, I wish both you and Mia all the best. You have a marvelous writing ability.
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The services you provided went far beyond housekeeping.
The money you made was more than you expected, but what you offered was invaluable.
You gave your employer the chance to present herself as a full person in her time of illness. You afforded her opportunities to be sociable, to be generous, to be a hostess, to see her younger self, to be heard.
The relationship that developed was worth more than either of you could have anticipated would ensue from a simple posting.
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@NM -- erudite daughter of the esteemed Cairene scholar, your comment is beautiful, heartfelt and inspiring. If only the president had a shred of your humanity America might truly be on the way back to being great again!
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A beautiful essay, Ms. Land. Please know you are much more than a person who cleans houses, you are caregiver serving your clients with compassion and dignity.
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@KB Indeed, she is! Her first book, a memoir, has received numerous excellent reviews.
https://www.publishersweekly.com/978-0-316-50511-6
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Ms. Land, before all the judgement rains down in here, let me be the first to commend you for not being afraid to dig in and provide necessary, if not glamorous, services to those who need help. Cleaning and other odd jobs for seniors have been saving my life for the last ten years. There's no making it on only Social Security. Perhaps that statement alone will serve to divert the judgement from your shoulders to mine. I'm old enough to not care what they think.
You sound like you might be on the way to owning a thriving business at some point, at which time you'll be considered a plucky entrepreneur. I have a friend who put her two kids through college with her small cleaning business, while working at our place of employment for the health benefits. She was pulling in 90k cleaning small offices and churches, and hired her kids to clean for her when they were home on breaks. Her high school-aged daughter worked part-time for her also. Keep the faith.
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Stephanie Land should be hired by NY Times as a writer. I was intensely drawn into her stories brilliantly expressed. It will be a pleasure to read her writing on NY Times.
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@hiker
Or the Seattle Times should hire her!
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@hiker
Yes, NY Times-- you need to be covering the Manual Labor beat, as well as Wall Street, really!
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Tears and prayers for you. Beautiful writing will look for your book. Those of us who have had to do this work know what its like. Here's hoping there are now more happy meals for Mia!
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I was very moved and heartened by your essay. Anyone who has ever struggled to pay the bills will be moved,too. Congratulations on your work ethic and your humility and courage. Congratulations on the simplicity and truth of your writing. I look forward to reading your book.
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Such dignity is expressed by this writer. Her feeling for her sick client and the pride in which she does her job is something that gives one hope that we will all be so lucky to have a person such as she when we are looking at our final days and may need help.
And such a humbling story.
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@Jean
For many creatives, physical labor is preferable to mental labor like office work -- doesn't burn up the cognitive engines. And it also gives you time to think freely -- "whistle while you work," so to speak.
Who wants to copy-edit legal briefs, anyway? Dull as stale donuts, IMHO.
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A relative edits "Modern Love" which frequently chokes me up, but i doubt if it will do a better job today.
I'm sure my wife and i will like the forthcoming book.
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