My Husband Was Killed in Niger. His Death Only Became Real to Me When I Saw His Coffin.

Years ago, I was on an international flight that had just landed at Kennedy and we were asked to remain in our seats while the casket of a soldier was unloaded from the cargo. Passengers watched in silence as the flag-draped casket was carried off of the plane, it was gut-wrenching. Thank you for sharing the heartbreaking experience of a military family that has had to endure this terrible ritual. I join the other commenters in wishing you and your sons peace.

Today I heard a young man Bryan's age complain about the traffic to his job in Malibu and the stunted view of his yuppie loft. I told him to stop whining and to think of the soldiers who sacrifice all for his plush living, indeed, for all Americans plush, fabulous lives. We are so spoiled. But nothing is really free. Your pain pays for our contentment. Thank you, and I am so sorry that our country can never really pay you back for your loss.

What a terrible loss. Praying for your family.

Best wishes to you and the boys, Mrs. Black. May you have many days of laughter agead of you.

America must stop sending talented young men and women into danger for the sake of its own imperialist mission. My deepest condolences. Bryan would have been incredibly proud of you

Poignant, powerful piece.

Wishing Ms. Black and her family peace and strength. This At War piece, like earlier ones, show why the United States should again have a military draft or even mandatory service. An all-volunteer military makes it too easy to ignore why Bryan Blacks are sent to places like Niger, Iraq, Afghanistan and elsewhere. It also makes it too easy to elect unfit, ignorant and corrupt leaders to send someone else's loved one into or out of a war zone.

Thank you for sharing. Thank you for permitting US to feel our own pain, release our own tears about unnecessary loss. Of a son, man, husband, father, fellow soldier in arms, friend, neighbor, and so much more, betrayed by a range of personally unaccountable policymakers. Your husband fought in the various THEREs while elected and selected policymakers choose not to engage in the necessary battles for wellbeing, in safe havens, for ALL. Being complacent, and for some even complicit, in NOT enabling an equitable, sustainable sharing of human and nonhuman resources which are critical for healthy human and societal development framed by values of menschlichkeit. In order to honor your husband’s violating death, making our own lives possible, in a divided nation, many other living Americans need to acknowledge their accountable roles. Again, thank you for sharing.

A few months ago while catching a plane in Atlanta, I noticed a group of people peering out the large windows. I made my way to the crowd, only to find a flag-draped casket coming from the plane, just as Michelle describes it here. Uniformed men stood at attention. The sun was just beginning to set. This moment made it all so real - what it actually looks like when our men and women are brought home like this. Although my brother is currently deployed overseas with the United States Air Force, it was a moment like the one in Atlanta that totally changed my perspective. Thank you, Michelle, for your raw and honest story.

Dear Mrs Black, Thank you for sharing this beautifully written story of the great man that is your husband. Your descriptions will help me better understand this situation when I see it on TV or read about it, which, in my opinion, is far too often. I don't know what to say to you other than thank you. I'm sorry for your loss and I wish you only the best for you, the boys, and your family. Thank you.

What a moving piece. Words cannot express the sacrifice that your family is making - for all of us - but your words at least can help us to scratch the surface. There are so many military families going through so much and i think the entire country needs to read more accounts like this from ambassadors like yourself. Thank you and please try to take solace and strength in the sentiment of a grateful citizenry.

Thank you for your bravery in sharing your story which helps highlight the human costs of wars and political policies which put lives on the lines but are all too often removed from public scrutiny and oversight. I hope you don't feel alone in your loss. America needs to know and understand what we ask of soldiers and their loved ones. You have served as all today.

I can only hope that this heartbreaking, wonderfully written column is widely read in the the public, the Pentagon, Congress and the White House. It is also infuriating when you read of the soldiers being betrayed by the those above them placing career advancement over safety and denying soldiers proper equipment. After years of inquiry over Benghazi, why did the Republican congress not hold a single hearing on the Niger scandal?

Dear Michele - thank you for sharing your heart in this article. May the peace of God that passess all understanding envelop you and your sons. Know that we honor your husband's sacrifice and that of you and your sons. God bless and keep you.

Michelle, we are friends of your in laws from church. Wow you can write, and Bryan would be proud. I was sobbing as I read this to Debbie. Love in your pain...

So many young Americans murdered around the world by old white men who never served playing Army Men.

Once upon a time the Navy was not very good at treating the families with Respect. U.S.S. Scorpion 1968. Please know that I read this walking with your boys. And thank you for noting the humor that appeared at the bottom of your grief. It is all so complicated when it is trauma. Your written expression is golden.

Of course Bryan's superiors were more concerned about their own careers than doing right by their soldiers. That's the way it's always been. That's how they got to be his superiors.

Your husband was a true American hero. His assignment was dangerous and he was in such an alien environment without the protections and reinforcements that other US soldiers have when facing danger. His motivation wasn't money, it was love of country, duty, and honor. My heart goes out to you and the families of others that have fallen in similar circumstances such as in Jordan. There are still many out there and I hope their superiors are taking adequate measures to protect them.

"Life as a U.S. soldier affords little time to take stock of all one has lost in service to country. Birthday parties and wedding anniversaries, a child’s first steps and the warmth of a spouse under a cool set of sheets," I remember writing upon hearing the news of these soldiers. What strikes me the most after reading about Staff Sgt. Bryan Black, is that despite those sacrifices lost to the annals of time, Mr. Black's mind wanders back to his fellow soldiers—even in the midst of searching for a less-stressful way of life for his family. It's one of the hallmark traits of a leader. Still, these stories always make me think of the path that led to them. Its become to easy to send Americans to war. There seems to be no pause—no reflection on the impact beyond a single American death in battle. The effect on families such as the one in this story. I pray that Mrs. Black and her children find a level of solace and that we, the American citizenry, remember that for them—the war never really stops.

From one Mom to another, Stay Strong! You have what it takes. It will be a new life without your husband, but you will carry him with you, as you guide your boys.

Dear Michelle, We don't know each other but I am deeply sorry for the loss you, your boys, and your in-laws have suffered. Thank you for sharing with us via this essay. You are talented, you are brave and your children are lucky to have you. Please know that many of us in this country recognize the sacrifices so many of you have made and we are sorry you have had to make them them. We hope a day will come when our military will be able to engage in keeping the peace and helping to build better tomorrows for everyone. Your sons have a great heritage in you and their father. Wishing all of you peace, more laughter, good memories and happy tomorrows!

Dear Michelle, First I want to tell you how sorry I am for the loss of your dear husband. You’re going to be ok, especially with your two beautiful sons as you continue to be a role model for. I also had a tragic loss, my son. While our circumstances are very different, what saved me was my art, which I began again after just dabbling in for many years. Your writing skills will be a lifesaver for you, so keep at it. Wishing you find peace in the New Year.

Thank you for courageously sharing how it feels to be part of a family that has sacrificed its heart for our country. May you and your family heal and live lives of love and purpose.

This is a beautiful piece of writing; thank you for sharing your husband with us, even if only for a moment. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Please know you and your family will be in my thoughts for many months to come. You—and your husband—will not be forgotten.

My heart is with you< Mrs. Black. I can't fully imagine your pain, but I honor it and the love that you and your family shared. The photographs of you all together are so beautiful--I am glad that those times were real, too. Bless you.

As the mother of a combat vet, I read your words with tears streaming down my face. You are a wonderful person, a wonderful Mom and a wonderful writer. Your husband would be so proud of you. Hugs to you and your boys.

Reading brought tears to my eyes. I’m a Veteran and know loss. She is a very strong woman. All props to her. Her husband will always be remembered.

Thank you for sharing your story. I felt each moment -- you made me laugh and cry. I got a sense of your husband even in this brief writing. I am so sorry for your loss, and I wish you and your boys time and space to heal -- heartbroken, but not broken, you will survive and continue your journey. Godspeed.

This is a heartbreaking story. I am so sorry for your loss. May you and your family know peace.

Dear Michelle, My husband died almost 20 years ago and at the time our 4 year old had just been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, before Autism was a Spectrum and before Aspergers was a part of that Spectrum. I read your piece in the paper today and when I read that your son Ezekiel, like my son Isaac, have Autism I wanted to write you. I want to tell you that, as everyone will tell you, it is not easy to raise kids alone but raising a kid with Autism alone is not easy either, but you will be okay and he will be okay. When I read about your ability to laugh I wanted to write to tell you that that is going to get you through. I am so sorry this happened to your family. I wish you the strength you need to get through the days ahead. Hold on to that ability to laugh.

My deepest condolences to and your family. May your love for them and their love for you guide and comfort all of you through these darkest hours.

I’m terribly sorry for your loss. Do keep writing. You have an exceptional ability to put readers in the moment with you - feeling and seeing. From everything you’ve described, your sons are fortunate to have you. They will need your strength and resilience - now and in years to come.

Everyone shouting about the resignation of Secretary Mattis as the end of the world should read this. You might not like Trump, but if he can bring our soldiers home and stop these insane pointless wars then he’ll have accomplished something. There are real consequences to the decades long NeoCon reign of terror in DC, and I am hoping that it is coming to an end.

This is a beautiful, elegiac piece. Hug those boys tight and keep writing.