Flying the Flags of Friendship

Beautiful. Love the end.

Beautiful reminder on the power of friendship.

" my mother was providing a master class in caring and friendship." made me cry. so beautiful. The power of female is friendship is immeasurable.

Beautiful - thank you so much for writing, and for sharing.

Elizabeth, this is a wonderful story, thank you for sharing it. I am going to share it and the great comments with several friends. It's made my rainy day sunny.

Thank you so much for publishing this beautiful piece. I love the line about answering a text with an emoji, knowing it is not enough.

Well, this was lovely. Thank you.

My youngest sister died of cancer 9 years ago tomorrow. As the family scarf-wearer, I inherited her collection. Now her daughter, 13, regularly reviews my stock to see what colors I ‘need’ (recently, she lit on blue as the thing I was missing). It’s lovely to know that I share my scarves not only with my sister & niece but with so many women who find comfort in them.

Wonderful piece. My sister Carol's scarves and jewelry are scattered around the country, worn by those who knew and loved her. It was a comfort to pass along some of her things to family and friends. I wear something of hers every single day.

After my father passed away when I was a child, my mother gave his sister some of his suits for her husband to wear. For my wedding, I received a quilted table runner made from the fabric, backed with pieces of tablecloths that my grandmother had. My aunt included a story of her family life and how she made the quilt, after keeping the suits for many years. My aunt is gone now too, so it's nice to have a piece of history from all of them.

My mother loved scarves and owned a lot of them. When she died, my sister and I took our favorites. The rest we arranged in a basket that we brought to her memorial service. Her friends and relatives enjoyed being able to pick out their favorite. It warmed my heart to know they’d be draping themselves in a memory of my mom.

I saved my mother’s and my sister’s scarves too. They were both beautiful confident women and I feel that wearing their scarves imparts a little of their aura along with happy memories. I miss them both terribly.

Lovely. Thank you. And a comfort to those cleaning out a loved one's things.

This is so beautiful. When my brother died unexpectedly almost 9 years ago, we did the same thing with his collection of Hawaiian shirts - dispersing them over generations so all who took one could have a token of John's adventurous and meaningful life. When I come across the picture of all of the recipients, smiling in a group photo while wearing their chosen shirt, it always makes me smile and remember that lovely moment amidst all the pain.

The Times doesn't offer emojis so I will have to write. At a neighbor-friend's estate sale I found a brightly colored, hand knitted ribbon shawl. It was so "her" and I bought it. A few years later I wore it to a gala arts event. As I walked across the room to greet another neighbor-friend she had a startled look. Her first words, "I like your shawl." led me to say, "It was Jane's." ,who was her dearest friend for more than fifty years. She laughed, "I know, I made it for her." and then the stories and laughter began. We adored Jane. I heart (insert emoji here) your story for many reasons, but especially because it reveals that I am not the only person who treasures and wears the scarf of someone dear.

Connecting with those we love, ritual and remembering are such a deep part of us. Your story reinforces those most basic of needs. Thank you for sharing this wonderful story (you too are a raconteur). As someone who has a big trunk of scarves...and has been known to take off those I dyed and hand made myself to hand to an admirer, whether friend or stranger...and who sat two Thanksgivings ago with my sister and sister-in-law and gave many away (while alive! And with smiles of delight and joy all around), it is wonderful to imagine someone doing for my scarves and me once gone what your mother did for Aunt Ginny and Aunt Ginny’s (BTW, the big plastic bin that sits under a bench at the foot of our bed is full again!). I will carry this story with me today with a smile and a sense of connection. Thank you.

There is no question about it. Connections to friends and family help us survive. Beautiful essay. Thank you.

Love this story and I love your writing too. This story has so much in such a little space..grief, friendship, generational differences, plain old simple personality differences, mother/daughter relationships and more. You can pack a sentence! :) My mother is 82 and she still speaks often with her friend from kindergarten.

I was once the recipient of such a gift: a pair of socks from the collection of a late writing friend. I wore them until they were filled with holes. Thank you for this lovely story.

What a lovely remembrance - the scarves and the story. Thank you.