My sympathies to Mr. Corbis's friends and family.
I'm of similar age and followed a similar professional path (though not as artistic). I am an independent technology consultant who's work I've let slow as I help my wife with our special needs children. (I'm an older dad.)
I'm OK financially. I have lived well beneath my means all my life and am now in a position where I can live off of my savings for the rest of my life.
33
Very sad the disregard for human life. I hope he rests peacefully and condolences to his family and friends.
21
I truly feel for Mr. Weglarz and his family (I'm also late-50s, in IT, not much saved since I'm the sole provider, etc.), and it's not hard to picture oneself in his shoes.
Every time I've thought of circumstances like this, I've come back to this: Someone would find me afterward, and it would scar them, perhaps permanently. As bad as life ever gets, I can't imagine taking others down with me.
When the leaders that we elect dole out our hard-earned taxes to their benefactors, and then try to tell us that there's not enough money to provide for the greater good of society, something truly immoral, bordering on evil, is happening.
Vote, people, VOTE!
187
sorry to hear this sordid story....a man who should have been in a teaching position with all his experience has to go this way...what is wrong america...you are destroyed..and blame yourselves
52
At age 56 I was given a choice to move or take a severance. I was in IT at one company for 25 years. I took the severance, paid off the mortgage, knowing full well that finding an IT job at that age would be about impossible. Age discrimination is rampant and so so easy to pull off. Mr. Corbis reminds me of many IT professionals I'd met over the years and they were almost all really good, honest people (I cannot say that for other non-IT people I've met in business).
Corporate IT was a great place to be up until maybe the Great Recession and the emergence of an all-consuming internet, lots of free apps, outsourcing, and offshoring. In the latter part of my career, I often sat at the executive table across from Accenture and IBM and others where we discussed which aspects of our IT organization could be outsourced, downsized or otherwise replaced.
What struck me in all of these negotiations and strategy sessions was how impersonal it became. Employees were no longer people, they were "resources"; raw materials to be purchased from the lowest bidder. We were buying a "service" with a "service level agreement"; and any collateral damage would be given a severance and a handshake on their way out the door.
167
I wonder if this story would have turned out differently if he had been able to cash the 275$ check late on that Friday afternoon.
56
@barney rubl
$275 isn't a lot. It wouldn't have gotten the poor man food for a month.
15
Read up on Kitty Genovese (there's also an excellent documentary about her.) It's not true that that many people heard and did nothing. And having lived in NYC for two decades, I can tell you the city is not heartless, not even close. Both of your claims are common misconceptions.
21
I hope Geoffrey finds peace in the Afterlife. I suffer from depression, too. He had lost his position and his income. It's unfortunate that his friends and family didn't help out more. But we are sadly a very materialistic society.
We should put up a website where 'the suicidal' can talk to others and even get material resources so that they can live from day to day -- I had gotten this idea when one of my friends, Jim D---, who had graduated from Columbia Univ. magna cum laude, put a shot gun under his chin and pulled the trigger.
33
I grew up in India, I’ve been here for decades and never left New York City for many reasons.
One of them is the frightening isolation I saw and perceived elsewhere. Now I know it was not jejune and is often the subject of many books and plays, see Asif Mandvi’s “Sakinas restaurant” if you can in the west village, it’s a stop you will enjoy and appreciate
There is a lack of moral equivalency which can be seen boldly in our administration and our Saudi and Israeli allies, and represents what is internally happening: America is for winners. Everyone else is discarded with pleasure.
I’m going to India for the first time in 10 years, and though rife with its own horrid administration and a cacophony of problems, there is progress and innovation and there is
Community. Here it’s limited.
India banned plastic in big cities. It also planted 100 million trees in a desperate attempt to stop the burning, and it did it in 24 hours. We pulled out of a simple Paris agreement and trump will stay president and keep the senate most likely. That’s America: a proxy for racism, dumb, white and religious.
VOTE. Get involved. Read Chomsky and krishnamurti, turn off American news.
114
Four years ago, I went to Europe for two weeks. When I got back, I got in a bad mood. This country has lost its humanity even in daily interactions. Even when you ask for help, neighbors, friends, and family, are too busy with their own problems. They don't want to be bothered. It's not the same thing going to a therapist who is a stranger. They are expensive, too. Elderly parents must go to a nursing home, either because they are not wanted, or because they can't be left alone. It used to be families had one car, one phone, one TV, one bathroom. Everyone had to share. Now, everybody has to have their own. We are a country of selfish individuals. If you can't get your own, you are a problem, mentally ill, and a failure. It used to be if you were a relative that had encountered life problems, you could stay with relatives. You could live with parents. This is still the case in Europe. This country is all about money. Public transportation is not available in most of the US. We cannot walk to work or shop anymore. Why? It's the car business, phone business, TV business, etc. It's all about selling products, including homes.
175
If he had decided to kill himself on a street in his Connecticut town, this would have been sorted out much more quickly. His decision to kill himself in Manhattan after he was unable to cash a small check was a final act of disrespect that added to the grief experienced by his family and friends. And he chose to park at a spot where children were likely to be playing — more disregard for people who had nothing to do with his personal misfortune.
3
I think “decided” may not be an appropriate word with suicidal people. Furthermore I think you have inadvertently portrayed his desperation very convincingly by reminding us that he did not have the mental leisure to think about the best place and time.
122
The cops need to own this. On the beat, walk the street, day after day, what do you notice? A driver sitting in their car? With engine off and windows rolled up? In August? For a week?
Justice should be blind. The police should look, and make connections. Yes, they’ve PAID to think!
37
@joshbarnes
What NYC officer actually walks the street? They are in their cars staring at their phones. I live on a precinct block in Manhattan.
51
Deeply depressing - what kind of society are we living in when ordinary people can not survive despite honest efforts to live a decent life.What a shame to all those famous billionaires the US is so proud of.
91
We were sold the pursuit of happiness. What we got is the struggle for survival. Can anyone in America tell the difference anymore?
98
A vital piece that's missing -- it's really important for family members to watch out for each other and offer monetary and moral support, open up your home as a place to live, etc. without any micro-management or ego. For how long? As long as it takes to get your sibling or son back on his feet.
Yes, there are sacrifices too numerous to list, and it's easier said than done, but believe me, it can be done . . . and with grace. I've grown up in the Indian sub-continent, where, to everyone's benefit, the familial fabric is woven very tightly (extending to uncles, aunts, and cousins as well). It adds great peace of mind too, to know that we are together in life's journey.
As the patriarch of our family, my grandfather would say to all his grandkids, "My darlings, there's great pleasure in giving."
Please consider calling a family member this week and digging deep to find out how things are going.
95
@Thinking About It
thanks very much for your nice write up...but sadly the Indian subcontinent is not far off when it comes to imitating the american way
14
Thank you, Michael Wilson and the NYT, for publishing this.
After working freelance as a software engineer for 30 years, 4 years ago I ran into very serious health issues. While the German health system has saved my life, I still need to get my head around, what to do, and how to age further without losing my dignity.
Back then I have decided to carry my "occupational disability insurance" always with me. And on the other hand, to do whatever I can, to contribute changing my society, Germany that is, for the better. I find both quite comforting.
Rest in peace Geoffrey Corbis.
48
On top of what others have mentioned, we all have the expectation of a longer lifespan.
If we are unemployable at 55, but are going to live to 95, we need to save up enough money to cover 40 years of retirement during the 30 years that we do professional work (let's say we finish graduate school at 25).
That does not compute!!
105
Certainly an extreme case of being irresponsible with money and what it can lead to. So many people even those with high incomes spend as if they are guaranteed to continue. Even more surprising given the guy was in the tech field - notorious for boom and bust cycles.
Some people just can't adapt. Americans will have to get use to lower standards of (material) living. The high incomes from WWII - 1980/90 were an economic and historic anomaly. For most of history most people have lived subsitance lives. The US is no longer the sole industrialized economy. Throw in the global labor glut and tech (robots & telecommuting) and living standards are headed down. On the good side even poor people in the US have indoor plumbing, electricity, mobile phones, TVs etc... and abundant cheap food.
18
What an irony that Mr. Weglarz, having been a longtime body double for Robin Williams, would also take his own life.
Rest in peace, Geoffrey. I hope your son and the rest of your family will keep the good memories of you alive.
5
He was not a body double. His long time friend was.
41
“His friend, Mr. Biagini, himself having found success as a longtime body double for Robin Williams, visited and marveled at how far his fast-talking fellow space geek had come.”
It was his friend, not him who was the body double.
19
This posting stayed in my head all day. First, I am truly sad for His son. He won’t ever recover from this tragedy.
I think mental shortage in 50s leads to falling out of the work place and after some time it’s tough to remember what the type of work one can do.
And when a divorce hits and unemployment while legal fees, child support and everything else hit for someone with these symptoms it must have been hard to get back on track.
Seems this may have happened to this kind hearted man.
What boggles my mind in our society is lack of support to give employment to get these people back on their feet. It’s almost 99.99% sure that something bad is going to happen if they don’t have a helping hand.
Let us learn from this story and the many others that NYT has been publishing in recent months and think about a solution rather than reading these tragic stories.
26
I thought the dark web had died with the Dread Scott Pirate. Since that could be misinformation I might have to get me some of that special medicine that works so well on us old losers
8
Maybe if people weren't looking at their phones while walking, someone might have noticed sooner.
81
That’s the tragedy of the world isn’t it: the mobile phone
17
This should not have happened. I suspect he was depressed after looking for so many jobs without success. If he had only set off by himself as a consultant developer, granted a step down but he could have paid his bills and stayed in his home, raised his son. There are so many enabling companies where he could have listed himself and got work.
Why not become an entrepreneur in the field he excelled in? why not join a small software startup as a mentor, managed an offshore developer group? The possibilities were and are endless if he had just abandoned looking for the same pay level and status he had when he worked last.
The sad part is that if he had even become an independent developer, he would probably have made as much money as he had before and even led a team of developers worldwide.
I know of several people over the age of 70, one in his eighties still working some because they have to, others to keep themselves occupied and the mind sharp. The 84 year old engineer has knowledge that have been forgotten after his generation but enormously valuable for a certain type of semiconductor design.
I wish Mr. Weglarz had recognized depression (I am assuming it but almost certain of it) and got medication or joined a support group. This is a sad accounting of a man's life.
20
@Gary Valan
read the piece...he had applied for 481 positions
31
Such a tragic story, something like this should have never happened, I am also a software engineer, in my 50's, I have been going thru ups and down with my career, still struggling to find a permanent job, company just reject you once you reach an age above 55. There are lot of older people in the technology field, who are struggling thru the same thing. I sincerely request the tech companies to hire and train these folks, so that they can again stand at their feet till complete retirement.
36
No one 55 is going to have an easy time finding any job. That's the sad commentary on the job market today. There is little value put on wisdom and accumulated life experience. No one is listening, everything has a short life span. My mother use to use the term "planned obsolescence" defines us in this country. We are busily passing by the valuable gift that we could put to great use.....wisdom. Too bad.
47
Watch the PBS link featured on the article, puts empathy and a human perspective to this man. Heartbreaking. My heart goes out to his family.
28
I just turned 48 and been seriously thinking about taking a "career break" next year (burnout) and maybe try something new when I reenter the workforce. Now the thought of going through with it absolutely horrifies me.
46
Heartbreaking story. Peace and love to all of you. Please don't give up on life. Where there is love, there is hope.
18
Condolences to his loved ones.
17
He was born in 1957. He was 61 years old or so. He was to get Social Security (reduced) benefits in about a year. He could have lived very comfortably with social security benefits in any Asian country like India or China. He could have very easily used his knowledge to coach software engineering to young people and made a very good and happy living, and returned to the U.S.A. to towns with lower cost of living. He would have left dozens of thankful young people who would have pitched in in his difficult days. One doesn't even need engineering skills. Just teaching spoken English is a big business in India. Unfortunately, when we are in distress we don't think level-headed.
44
@R Murty K
Your answer (except for the SS suggestion) is pure fantasy, India and the Philippines brim with young people who are IT and English proficient, but they can barely find work in their own county. In the Philippines the gifted ones end up working in call enters. Don't know about China
32
@R Murty K - I lived in SE Asia for several years, mainly the Philippines. Making money there is so much harder than the US and the pay is ridiculously low. The idea he could go there and "easily" make a good living teaching software engineering is just wrong. And it's not a good place to be near broke.
33
I wholeheartedly agree, he had very many options which he could not see. Such is the nature of not being in the best state of mind.
8
Sad story. In the U.S. if you're unemployed it is tough to afford mental health treatment, but that's often when you need it.
49
How can you just quit a good paying job just like that without a solid offer from somewhere else?
23
@KS Same way you throw a hamburger at a McDonald's employee -- impulsively. He didn't understand that the lateral move offered him after the merger was a gesture of thanks for many years of fine service.
29
IT companies are cruel to older people. They only want young, fast people. Is it any wonder what corporate greed and offshoring work is doing to hard working, talented people? IT companies need to retain such people as multi-talented assets. Friends, keep a look out for your colleagues and friends. Sorry to see a good man go. Rest in peace Geoffery.
41
For everytime you hear people rave about the spirit of New Yorkers in times of terror or disasters, this is the spirit I recall so much from my 11 years in New York. A city full of people focused on themselves, too busy to make eye contact, help strangers, or notice a decomposing body in a stationary car for a week. This story is depressing and also says a lot about the people who failed to act- from the police to the hundreds of bystanders, to a dead rat who confused a landlord. New York, New York...
35
I decided to stop full time employment at the age of 54. I have savings but living in them imply their dwindling. So I have turned to the web to make a living. I work from home, decide my own timings, take jobs that give me satisfaction and earn enough to cover expenses. The other good thing I did (by chance and not by design) is to marry early and have kids early on in my life. Now in my fifties, my kids have completed their masters education are completely self reliant and are capable of helping us if required.
19
Mazel Tov. And your point is.....?
71
Having now read this story a few times, I'm hoping the reporter does a follow-up story. There are so many curious circumstances, such as:
1. Why would he drive down to East 12th St from B&H? If he planned to commit suicide in his car on a busy NYC street, why not where he was in midtown?
2. "He was prone to morbid talk"? That seems like an odd comment.
3. For a single, senior executive to quit a job because he travel once per week was a "burden" seems odd, to say the least, even with a son nearby.
4. What was really behind the MacDonald's outburst? Or the divorce for that matter?
I don't for a moment doubt one's life can deteriorate quickly, but there are certainly some real oddities here.
28
Morbid talk is very common especially among depressed people. Example: every Christmas my mother would say something to the effect of “well, this may be my last Christmas tree.” It was a lament and a cry for help. After some years of this I finally said, “you know, one of these days you’re going to be right.”
I inherited that trait.
10
i travel for work a lot, it's exhausting...commuting from CT to TX each week? Don't judge.
50
A cry for help indeed. Too bad his sister brushed it off as “just” being morbid and don’t act then. To speak with him more. Get him skilled licensed mental health care or to clergy. When a person starts focusing on the morbid and especially on death/dying/afterlife sin etc its often enough a clue for those who will listen, that something is terribly wrong and burdensome for this Person and they should not be left A
13
Super sad what happened to Mr. Weglarz, this slide from a good life to a lost one. A very American story of today, as many commenters show with their own stories of entering economic and social and personal oblivion. A very dehumanizing capitalist system fostered/manipulated by the powerful rich starting with the "Nationalist" joker in the WH who still enjoys fooling his base creating misery for the rest. Make no mistake, change will come only if we vote the powers that be out of office and get more humane politics at the helm again: for health care, social safety nets and more job security and less age discrimination. Survival of the fittest is for the animal realm, not human society where we need solidarity with and for all.
45
Two parking tickets?
Would not surprise me.
5
My father involuntarily stopped working in his 40s due to chronic illness. My mother couldn’t find another job as a CFO at 50 when the company closed. They had a tiny nest egg which they used to flip a house, then used the profit as the down payment on a small commercial property. They have been living modestly off the rental income ever since.
Moral of the story: They came to terms that they’d never get hired again and took matters into their own hands. If you have a bit of money, invest it instead of fruitlessly job hunting for years.
If you don’t have a bit of money, you probably aren’t too proud to take whatever you can get. I know a few older college-educated women working as home health aides. They might be low income, but at least they have an income. And a purpose.
31
I would add, based on my own bad behaviour, save your money. Start now. Start small if you must but start. It’s really really important and it makes a very big difference. (If I convince *one* person reading this it may be the best thing I’ve ever done.)
59
Please consider “died by suicide” instead of “committed suicide.” The former is recommended given the stigma of the latter. Thank you.
58
It is unsurprising that New Yorkers took no notice of this man.
Recall the story of Kitty Genovese, about a young woman who was stalked and knifed to death in Queens, New York City over the course of half an hour. Some 37 people heard her screams and did nothing.
Heartless city, heartless country, heartless police. Heartless Congress, heartless president, heartless Supreme Court. These things happen in the degenerative stage of empire.
25
The Kitty Genovese urban myth of 37 bystanders to her violent death was debunked in a fantastic documentary ‘Kitty’ (has been on Netflix). I worked as a NYC*911 Paramedic for 20 years and witnessed countless acts of New Yorkers helping New Yorkers (and visitors to New York) in need. Your comparison is poor, and your generalization is wrong.
72
@Earthling
It's hard to see inside a car with darkened windows, so I don't think it's odd that passersby didn't notice.
17
@Nick M. Yes, it's true. It turned out the Kitty Genovese story was basically a myth.
1
Such a heartbreaking story. My condolences to Geoffrey's son, sister and brother. May Geoffrey rest in peace.
31
I am 62 and can relate to this. It's not about mental illness. It's about depression that comes with the fact that our society and make a buck at all costs does not have any need for humans after a certain age. Once we only have a decade or so of work left in us it is easier to just throw us out with the garbage. I have worked my way up to a leadership position as a physician, but now because of my age, no one would hire me for a similar or higher position, even though I have a tremendous amount of experience and no how. It's also a story of what happens when our life unravels at a certain age. Because you don't have enough time to start all over again. I'm not sure what the solution is, but has to come from both society and our views of ourself as we age.
75
@Peter I think you are on to something when you added that we also need to consider 'our views of ourselves as we age'.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg? We see many comments of people of a certain age, who basically say things like 'why bother?...no one wants to hire me...we are disposable... society considers us invisible..,.' Etc.
And while on one hand, yes, our society as a whole worships youth over age, one must wonder how much of older folk feeling unwanted is simply self-fulfilling. Have we not come across certain older people, both male and female, who seem to have magically overcome ageism in our society...who are seen as 'cool' by younger generations. who are revered...in the spotlight...often sought out for their opinions...or to give speeches...for their unique personal takes on fashion...on the arts, etc.?
We are not helping matters...not helping ourselves....so long as we internalize negative messages about ourselves, whether real or perceived.
'No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.'
14
Are we so busy making money by giving tickets that we don't tap on the window to make sure someone is alive. If I saw a car still there a second day I wouldn't hesitate to tap on the window to make sure they were okay.
14
Well, he didn't actually get any parking tickets. The article speculates the parking people assumed he was waiting in the car on an alternate parking day so they didn't ticket him. It's very common for the same people to be sitting in the same place waiting for alternate parking to be over.
12
Yes, thinking of exit plans is a scary part of life over 50. Seldom does a story make me glad for my low-income low-level existence, but this does.
19
That you read this and commented is that you don't have a low level existence. Thank you for engaging. Sending love your way.
15
With the ballooning deficit caused by the Republican's tax cut for the wealthy, they are coming for Medicare and Social Security. God help us if they have their way.
53
Wow, that hits close to home. When I was 56 and out of work for the first time in 30 years, I watched the movie, It's a Wonderful Life, made in 1946. When Uncle Billy looses the money and it looks like the bank would close, he said he'd have to get another job. Someone said to him, you'll never get another job, you're 56. My wife started laughing. It's been this way forever.
36
Why did she start laughing and what do you mean by it's been this way forever?
4
This is a powerful story. I can feel his isolation and his fear. I have felt those same feelings but I have muddled through helped by a great Canadian safety net that covers all my medical costs and a Canadian pension system that takes care of the basics. What a tragedy and what a sad ending for a decent guy in an extremely wealthy country that has lost it's soul.
126
My sister and were ordering lunch in a city in New Zealand then the waitress went to the next table where an elderly couple were undecided on what to order instead of saying I will come back the waitress was so rude to them. I called her over and in a very polite voice I asked to cancel our order. Why she demanded and I explained to her she would be old one day and I hope someone is as rude to you as you have just been. With that we got up and walked out. The realisation that aging is something that happens to all of us escapes so many and many of us have much to offer until we choose our day of retirement. Sadly now days so many think all the answers on on google.
87
I assure you this was an isolated incident. New Zealanders are a civil and tolerant people, but there are bad or rude or callous people even here. On your next visit it’s unlikely you will meet that sort again. (Please give us another chance.)
22
NY’s finest. Here is the point. You can’t count on the police.
28
It's easy to hide in plain sight.
21
@Another Sojourner, so true and ironic. It is so easy to be invisible hide your pain in the big crowded big city. That's why no one wants to leave New York.
7
Maybe NYT would dona good thing in this poor soul’s honor, and run an article or series of articles, maybe manually right around the Thanksgiving through New Years holidays, with tips for friends and families and colleagues or neighbors on what to do if you are worried someone is feeling suicidal, having suicidal thoughts, etc.
What are signs to look for, verbal, non verbal, actions, failures tomact. When and how to broach the subject with that person you’re concerned about, what can be done to keep the person safe, how to get the person into emergency care, how to block their access to the means they may decide to use or that they plan to use, who else can help, how to take care of self and stay safe as help suicidal person. What to do to recover and to prevent a relapse
26
Yeah, that's life (and death) in a soulless cosmopolis of 8 million people. America's founders wouldn't have been surprised at all. That's why so many of them emphasized rural life and agrarian virtues.
This guy obviously had some issues, I wouldn't have hired him either. But if he'd lived in a small community with a social anchor like a church or a mosque, he'd probably still be alive, and doing OK.
10
@rumplebuttskin
I don't know why you say he had issues, other than the episode of throwing a sandwich at someone, which wasn't good, but obviously he was getting pretty desperate at that point. A lot of us can relate. I have a good job and I hope to God I keep it, but I know there's no guarantees, and I watched my husband go through this a decade ago. He recovered, found another job, eventually retired, but it was incredibly traumatic. It has happened to SO many people. Possibly he wasn't the most stable individual, but how about a little compassion.
Geez.
59
@DW So judgemental how do you know what he had to offer unless you spoke with him. Coming to the states for a holiday in the very near future hope I don't trip up on the street in front of you.
4
@rumplebuttskin ...so it's not just that small communities (full of judgement, gossiping, stronger pressures to conform, etc.) are 'better', but that formalized religion would have also better ensured that others would have been more in touch with him...more caring.
Yeah, right. Religious folk have so much better 'values', and treat others with such respect and love and acceptance.
10
Why all the obsession over no one noticing him? It said in the article that his car had tinted windows. Sorry, but I don't go up to cars and check out what is going on inside them.
26
@Morgan
Why the "obsession" over no one noticing him? Wow, your comment speaks volumes. It's okay with you if a dead person sits in a parked car on your block for a week? You think that's normal?
The comments are almost as sad as the article!
10
@DW I think what Morgan is trying to get at is that... there seems to have been an overall 'indictment' of NYers as being so self-absorbed...so callous..as to not have noticed there was dead man sitting in the same position, in the same car, in the same parking spot, for 7 days.
So I think Morgan is saying that the 'blame' being placed on passerby and NYers as a whole, is misguided, because no one could have easily seen inside the car to begin with.
7
All you need to keep a parking spot in Manhattan in perpetuity without getting tickets is a lifelike mannequin and tinted windows?
No.
No one tried too hard for this man.
Sure, hearing a family member buying a vial of poison is just another hum-drum convo.
No one tried too hard all the way around.
19
@WorkingGuy
I really don't think you read the article! His family DID try. They weren't local. They stayed in touch, they kept trying to find him, when he went missing they tried repeatedly to get police assistance - what more would you have them do?
15
Ah, the banalities of living in a bureaucracy: NYPD not accepting a fax, only EMAIL. Ridiculous. And to think a man with his resume and calibre applied for 481 jobs and didn't get one- what hope is there for the rest of us losers if even someone like him could not get hired? Capitalism is a joke. I've always said unemployment for the little guy should never run out- for as long as one needs it it should be there. These CEO like Les Moonves get severance packages big enough for 5 lifetimes.
123
Lesson: if you’re in New York and have trouble, say you’re a resident and sort it out later.
16
Unfortunately, society has returned to the barbaric ritual of culling elders. We emotionally eat at their sense of worth, which destroys them.
I have no answers, but God save us as a country and eventually a species.
52
@Jon America is "Logan's Run," the 1976 science fiction film where everyone gets "exterminated" at thirty years of age.
7
Another Willy Loman "allowed to fall in his grave like an old dog." Life is a state of mind, but not all states of mind are life. Pity those who see no options, who like the elephant bound by a ribbon, by sheer failure of the will, fail to surmount their world to realize:
"The cloud-capp’d towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.”
16
Everyone is vulnerable of being laid off and the older we get the likelihood of the dreaded call from HR increases. Sadly many persons speak of the value experience brings, but the corporate world appears to be more in tune with being seen by the public as more socially progressive in the age of “social media” than to to be actual corporate stewards of their communities they claim to be, while the spend millions how much market themselves as such rather than keep their investment in their older employees who bring real value.
I am curious how many companies are now doing worse financially after laying off experienced workers?
A word of wisdom to those younger than 50, be conservative with your earnings, and most other aspects in life because there is always a rainy day.
44
This story reminds of the failure of the police to check on my nephew residing in the Bronx some years ago even after his suicide threats cause his therapist to alert the police. His therapist called the police after my nephew had sounded psychotic the day before and said he was going to the "angels"; his therapist told the police that my nephew - severely mentally ill and on regular medication - had not responded to telephone calls - which was unusual and asked them to check on him repeatedly. They failed to do so. His mother, my sister, herself disabled, took a bus to the Bronx from her Manhattan home in the morning. There was no answer at his door. The police came, broke in the door, and he was unconscious from an overdose of methadone. When I complained to police - they stalled on the investigation for nearly a year - at which time the office in charge of the investigation was promoted and passed the investigation to someone else . . . never heard . . . my nephew died a few days later . . .
14
Only in NYC can a person be dead for over a week in a car and no one notices. Isn’t it great how a city as progressive as the Big Apple is heartless in reality.
What is scary is that a person could be lying gravely ill in a parked car in the city and eventually die without a person ever questioning why a car has been parked in the same spot for a week.
9
Yes, all 9 Million of them!
I cannot imagine that thinking in such sweeping generalizations would serve anyone well, in real life outside of the internet comment boards.
9
When did compassion for our fellow man go out of fashion? I find it extremely depressing how many people are so quick to criticize people they don’t even know.
24
I know his family is distraught and devastated, and I'm truly sorry for your pain and the long wait to get the confirmation of what you already knew.
NY is usually very pro-active ... yet it is a city one can lose themselves in. I can see what Mr. Corbis chose it.
And ... if I were brave enough to even get near the 'dark web, -- which I am NOT -- ' I'd surely ove some of what he got.
Seriously. If one wishes to take control of their own health and destiny, and all else is foundering, a vial of something real and potent sounds like a godsend. Or at least the last modicum of dignity and control.
To all involved, I wish peace, healing and reconciliation.
14
What a tragedy. I agree with other commenters that this story perfectly illustrates the cold shoulder of the USA.
My deepest condolences to Geoffrey's family.
23
From a professional standpoint his cardinal sin, if you can call it that, was quitting in 2011 with no other job lined up. By then he should have read the tea leaves that older workers are just discarded, and 2011 was a bad time to look for jobs anyway. Perhaps if he hadn't quit, he could have hung in there. That said, even if he had stayed his only hope would have been not to get fired from his existing job, so he still would have experienced career stagnation and insecurity. I know because I used to work in technology and saw the opportunity set dwindle with industry consolidation. So I put myself through a career change.
21
@Marcy R. His divorce is only nentioned in passing, but I can see where a man is not too motivated to work extra hard (and travel every week) if he has to write a big support check every month, or if the support payment is automatically deducted before he even gets his net paycheck.
3
This article really saddened me, as Mr. Corbis was close in age to my own parents. My deepest condolences to his loved ones and friends. It also made me realize the importance of reaching out and maintaining social ties to our aging family members to our best abilities. My father, aged 67, lives in a different state than me and sadly lost his company a few years ago in his second divorce. We had never been that close, as I had been raised by my mother and stepfather, but after talking with him around the holidays last year and hearing the sadness in his voice, I now make a point to call or text a few times a week. Now is better than ever to cultivate and develop our relationship, even if delayed. We are finally getting to know each other and share our lives. I will also spend the holidays with him this year and very much look forward to it.
106
What a sad story. Thanks for writing and publishing it.
The title focuses on the very unfortunate failure of the police to find Mr. Weglarz for a week after he committed suicide. But the readers' reactions capture the even greater tragedy: the state of our society, in which our economic system, health care system and shredded social safety net leave hard-working citizens out to dry and die.
63
Mr. Weglarz was a good, decent man who lost Hope. I totally understand because I too recently lost Hope. To most it is just a word but for those of us, losing Hope is the beginning of the end. After a lifetime of trying very hard, it all ended being a waste of time, and a waste of a perfectly good human being. Rest in peace Mr. Larry Weglarz.
50
I hope you continue to hold onto Hope.
15
@heretoday - there are nonprofits that would truly want your help as a volunteer and where you would make a difference. Please don't lose hope. You are wanted and needed. Job rejections should not define us.
9
@heretoday
As a single parent raising 3 kids on my own I had many hopeless days in my life until I saw others around me who were less fortunate than I and held on to their every bit of hope and faith. Hang in there. Blessings.
10
It's really too bad somebody would commit suicide over money. But given that he was a spendthrift it's not surprising he had money problems. An expensive house in the suburbs instead of an affordable apartment? Eating out even at McDonald's when unemployed? $10 spent for one meal at McDonalds would buy a loaf of bread and a jar of peanutbutter.
What even more distrubing is the family beating up the police. The problem was the guy who committed suicide not the police. Wonder if the family is going to file a lawsuit?
9
@Reader In Wash, DC Your lack of empathy is disgusting.
74
@Reader In Wash,
Excuse me!!! Unless you are lucky enough to have a rent controlled unit, there is no such thing as an "affordable apartment" in metropolitan NYC area (or in San Francisco or Silicon Valley, for that matter). That includes the closer-in suburbs. And $10 would buy a VERY small jar of peanut butter and a small loaf of bread of the foam rubber type, which by many standards is inedible.
47
@Galway
I said it was too bad someone would committ suicide over money. But the guy's money problems are from his irresponsibility. He had a very good income it sounds like but instead of preparing for lean days lived high on the hog.
"He moved to New York City and worked at the software company Hyperion, designing performance management tools. He led a team at Hyperion that worked with universities, signing and managing Yale, Harvard, Brown and dozens of other schools as clients. He traveled the world.
He married and had a son, settling down in a large, 19th century house in Fairfield, Conn. "
2
Interesting that the child was the only one who knew right away there was something wrong. If we all maintained a child's intuitive natural wisdom as adults this man would probably be alive today.
19
@MS
I don't think it was his "intuitive natural wisdom" but his young olfactory receptors that haven't yet been damaged beyond repair from years of breathing in pollution.
8
A suggestion especially for older folks looking for work now. Try the US Postal Service. I have a friend who was hired in 2006 at age 69; he just retired at age 81. It is now taking some time for new non-career hires to be "converted" to career jobs, which have full benefits and union protections. At the moment it seems to be a better place to work than when some employees went"postal".
In my area USPS is advertising on Craigslist. In addition look at:
http://about.usps.com/careers/welcome.htm
35
Just did this. 2 openings in my part of the state. Apparently the word is out.
6
Our family had a similar experience with Brooklyn police when a family member was missing. Fortunately he was found alive in a hospital but police were not cooperative and made it very difficult insisting they couldnt file a report until we met them inside his apt which was very inconvenient and not immediately accessible. We should have found him within a couple days instead of more than a week.
16
many comments here about workers "aging out" in IT.
workers "age out" in many other industries as well. lost a job in may, am in my early 50's. have the degree, the certification.
can't get interviews. on the three occasions I have actually gotten interviews: interviewed with many people, three younger (early 30's late 20's maybe?) folks who would have been my immediate supervisors. those young people were enthusiastic about me joining their teams. instead, "we went with someone else. you're overqualified."
my unemployment benefits run out in 3 weeks. took a review course for an alternate professional license. taking that state test soon. will work for commissions in that field, have already applied to a few chain retail and grocer establishments to bring in some minimal cash. between legal fees from my divorce (my ex keeps dragging me back to court at least once a year) and now this long spate of unemployment--life savings is nearly gone. i have a young teenager to take care of and pay high expenses for. don't know how we will continue on.
this is the USA, today. tragic.
high sympathies for the family and for the gentleman who took his own life. we deserve better as older workers. i fear we won't see better.
117
@spot on apply for a government job on usaajobs
7
@spot on,
Just wait until the Republicans cut unemployment benefits, retraining expenses, Social Security and Medicare. The suicide rate among seniors will probably go up as their resources go down.
29
But AARP will continue to endorse republicans.
11
So the story here is that a dead man was ignored for a week, what about the bigger story that he was ignored for far longer in life - the story of millions the world over
41
This is a very sad story...but police officers face life and death risks every day that this kind of random mess should not be painted in any way as a failure of anyone but the victim and the horrid fact that he was unable to manage his mental health issues.
8
What is the point of this article? Why would anyone (other than his family) care about this guy?
2
That’s a very sad statement. Time you listened to some Simon & Garfunkel.
54
As one whose great grandfather died by suicide as a result of his career collapsing during the Great Depression, I care deeply about this man’s story. Even if my family hadn’t been directly affected by this situation, I would still view him with empathy. You know, like well adjusted human beings tend to do.
21
This rejection of older workers has been going on for years, and continues in this time of full employment. Regretting it and feeling sorry for them will not help, and those whose response is limited to these are kidding themselves, since they are not searching for workable answers to a problem they claim to be heartbreaking.
The obvious answer is some intelligent social engineering directed at this problem, vetted for its effects, workability, and unexpected side effects by a bunch of game designers. For most of us, implementing this answer involves voting for people who believe in intelligent social engineering and dislike interest groups.
Republicans believe in social engineering, but the goal of their engineering is to make the top investors richer and protect their fortunes from the masses, and they have been very intelligent and successful at it. Republicans who are continuing to do well in their old age feel no loyalty to those who arent.
So the answer involves electing a selected subset of Democrats, pushing them in a social engineering direction, and protecting them from the special interests who will warp the social engineering to their benefit or block it until they are paid off with a chunk of the action.
21
The first thought that occurred to me was that if the circumstances were the same but Mr Corbis was African American, i bet the police would have been called a bunch of times.
37
Blatant ageism has become an acceptable way of doing business in America. HR, recruiters, hiring managers--basically anyone with a say in who gets hired and who doesn't--freely toss around comments about an applicant being "too old," with "too much experience," and "graduated from college before I was born." When posting job ads that end with a list of criteria in which a company doesn't discriminate when hiring, many companies don't even include age. It's a matter for self-policing, apparently because no one but those affected notices or cares. If you have a say in hiring, next time you see a resume for a candidate that strikes you as "too old" (probably not to do the job but rather to participate in fun activities like Harry Potter Trivia Day), try substituting a phrase that will cause you anxiety, like "too black," "too female," "too fat," "too Jewish." See how discrimination feels, and realize all of us are going to slide into that group some day.
73
@GM What we have been withessing in the US since 1980 was a slow motion revolution. Bu not your ordinary revolution. Think of a bizarre re-enactement of the French revolution during which the privileges of the Nobilty and the Clergy were drastically enhanced rather than curtailed. With the still unbelievable "election" of 2016 this revolution has gone into overdrive. Except for a very small fortunate minority the rest of the populace can now only expect bondage, serfdom and disguised slavery. Many will die early by suicide or despair and attrition because of this.
11
This one story awoke a stream of personal accounts as wrenching as the description of Mr. Weglarz/Corbis's last days. Reading the stories in the comments reveals the brutal underside of this country's economy and the heartbreak of an uncaring cuture. All sympathy to the gentleman's family.
57
We need unions to protect older workers (and the younger too) and, yes, that means paying union dues.
We also need higher taxes. We could start, for instance, by not voting for politicians who campaign on "reducing your taxes". Eventually, that would mean "higher taxes" for all, i.e. less money for fancy phones, cable TV and other non-necessities.
The choice is ours most of the time, and we should all realize that we can't get something for nothing.
44
@Francoise Aline
Unions for software developers?
5
This is the way the majority wants it, including a majority of people who take religion seriously and the Bible literally. Many people who have survived to Medicare do not want government to incur the costs of providing similar care to others, because it might diminish the resources available for their own care.
Social Security and Medicare are thought of by many people as something they have a right to because they paid for it. Actually, most of the money they paid before they were eligible went right out to pay the benefits of the eligible previous generations.
If it hadnt, the pool of money that needed to be invested would be so vast that whoever controlled the investment policies would in effect control the economy. State retirement funds have a lot of influence on the economy; they need for the economy to be run so the investments they have made are profitable in the next few years. This dovetails with the interests of wealthy private investors, who like capital gains and high dividends, low wages, and low taxes. Henry Ford knew that low wages limit economic growth, but he was a communist and class traitor.
If these programs were funded out of general revenue, what was going on would be clear. It would be apparent that healthy younger people supported sicker and older people and expected the same when they got old or sick, in a moral compact. But the way they are funded leads people to misunderstand them and think they are individual property.
5
@sdavidc9 - You write: "Many people who have survived to Medicare do not want government to incur the costs of providing similar care to others, because it might diminish the resources available for their own care."
It's not true that "many people" on Medicare think this way. I don't believe any reasonably intelligent, sane person on Medicare, knowing how valuable it is, would deny medical care to anyone needing it. The older we get the more we want to protect younger generations -- not deprive them. I'd say that statement is clearly the projection of an adolescent POV onto senior citizens. (The rest of your comment is fine.)
11
This is heartbreaking for many reasons, and as many have pointed out, this country doesn't provide a safety net for its citizens.
One thing I noticed that no one has mentioned is that this man didn't ask his friends and family for help--or the article didn't mention it if he did. Maybe he was too proud, maybe he felt they weren't in a position to help, we don't know.
I was in a rather desperate situation myself a few years ago, and I was helped by friends in a number of ways. In fact, I would have been lost without them. I particularly treasure that year of my life because I learned how true my friends are and that I am not alone. That I do not define myself by my job or financial status made that understanding easier for me no doubt. My friends did not define me that way either.
25
@SRF. Great comment. From personal experience, I think part of the problem is that people like this who have been financially comfortable for most of their lives are used to friends and family coming to them for help. Not the other way around.
My husband has lent (and I use the term loosely since they are rarely repaid) money to different family/friends over the years. He is a I. T consultant in his 50's. But during protracted periods between jobs, which have become more protracted in the past 3-4 years, he never asks anyone for help. Part of it is that he thinks they are worse off than we are. Otherwise they would have paid him back, at least something. But a bigger part of it is pride. He likes being the one that people can turn to in a crisis, the strong, solid man that always takes care of the people he loves. He puts on a brave face for everyone else, while we struggle with his sadness and fear about the present and the future.
23
Sometimes having severe depression means that you feel unworthy of others’ help and you don’t want to be a “burden “ to them. A self-perpetuating spiral.
16
I don't know what to say - except - first sympathy to this gents family and second, a very well reported story.
I am also disheartened by some comments below injecting politics here.
This is a human tragedy and it definitely appears that a divorce destroyed this man's life. And it does not seem to be an uncommon phenomenon in our society.
And he refused to come to terms with changing job situation.
I am pushing 70 and had a successful "career" of 40 plus years in the oil patch. I got divorced that almost destroyed me financially.
Determined to get out of the hole - I knew I needed to work - and put up with a lot of hassles, moving around the world etc - even kowtowing to folks for whom I had no respect.
I think sometimes folks like this gentleman forget some of this stuff and make themselves too important to compromise.
Looking back, he should have moved to Dallas for Dell and he probably would still be with us.
15
I can't help feeling that the story gave more details than were necessary. It's a very sad story and one worth telling; however, I kept thinking about his 14-year-old son and how he would feel about all of these details being shared so publicly, the details about the body, the smell, the man's comments about the sons' friends' parents not sending money for snacks... I can imagine this man's son wishing the New York Times had not shared so much.
38
Very sad story. I know what it's like to be downsized and scared.
But I don't think it's fair to lay fault at the police for not finding the body. He parked in front of a playground, 15 car lengths away from his building's entrance.
No police force has time to check every single car on every block in a city, when they don't know if he was in a car in the first place.
I have empathy for the family's heartbreak. But ultimately, their brother's suicide did not include how to be found.
11
I (55 y/o) am and have never been out of work. So perhaps this is naïve/presumptuous but…. We must be vigilant about preparing ourselves for the worst, making sure we are continually learning, and always considering skills we could potentially parlay into other jobs/gigs.
I have a number of friends who’ve been out of work. I've asked ‘what about being an Uber driver? a dog-walker ?... housecleaner?....proof-reader, etc? I’m often met with ‘oh, I’m over-qualified (too good??) for that’ or ‘yeah, I’m not interested in doing that’.
Me, I will never have too much ‘pride’. I would do whatever it took to pay bills. Clean toilets. Be a pet sitter. Etc.
You have to stretch your mind. Professional house-sitting, proof-reading, giving new/small business owners – and who are not tech savvy - a basic private lesson in Social Media 101 (assuming you yourself are already savvy), setting up a webpage for someone using Wordpress, housecleaning work, dog walking, pet sitting, being a local tour guide (creating your own unique tour…use your imagination!). If you’re a good cook, or good at gardening, offer to cater small parties for friends/friends-of-friends… offer your skills in gardening to folks who want to create their own new garden. Offer handyman skills for an hourly rate. Be a baby sitter or a nanny. Offer to care for neighbors lawns and gardens. Invest in a snowblower and go around the neighborhood offering to shovel the neighbors’ driveways and sidewalks. Etc.
9
@Lisa
Perhaps your response, including the bragging and lecturing, would be more apt for a different news story.
45
@Lisa
I have a better solution, and I applied it to my son: when he started working, his Christmas present was a cash contribution to his IRA; I have been doing that for years and am still doing it. He is now in his late forties and he has enough money set aside to make sure that, whatever happens, he will always have enough to live on, without having to sell his house (he bought that with his own money).
Peace of mind, that's what money ought to be for.
15
I completely agree with Jules. Way to take a tragic story and use it to boast about how great you are.
27
The cops never noticed his body, but watch them arrest his sister the minute she starts to scatter his ashes in the city.
24
When I was in my 20's.. it seemed I was surrounded by 'psychiatrist'. There was a free clinic on every corner, churches all had counselors, and there were two 'residential treatment centers - in my small town. And then, someone decided that that was a bad thing. The homes were closed, churches were 'taboo', and all the free clinics became 'pay' clinics ran by some government agency. Now, this kinda story isn't 'unique'.. it's too common. Time we all take a serious look at putting government in charge of every aspect of our life. I read people commenting that this is somehow a cry for government healthcare - I find it quite the opposite. It's time we get back to people caring for people.. and stop relying on the government to do it.
3
This once again drives home the point that...people need to Get Their Heads Out of Their Glowing Devices! This is one of our biggest problems today.... no one is paying attention...no one is making eye contact...zombie pedestrians are getting hit by zombie drivers, both distracting themselves with their fones...
So many NYers exist in their own little worlds, totally oblivious to those around them.
I'm all for the 'See Something Say Something' campaigns, but in order for this to be effective 1) again, people need to be Paying Attention 2) people need to QUESTION things, i.e., why is there an unattended purse sitting on that bus seat?? 3) the MTA in particular, needs to improve their communication systems. They tell us to report when we see something, but yet, their emergency call boxes are out in the open on subway platforms, which are notoriously noisy. Have YOU ever tried to use one of those and then have a 'conversation' with the station attendant? It's impossible, due to overlapping announcements from arriving trains, departing trains, platform announcements, screeching trains etc. 4) The MTA also needs to better vet employees, better train them, manage them, and Empower them. I once reported a very suspicious activity I saw on a train. The guy in the booth could have cared LESS, and told me to go up to the street and call 911. But by then, the suspicious person (who had an open satchel containing a BUNDLE of batteries wrapped in tape!) was long gone.
8
Discrimination only gets worse when you retire. Don't believe the employment numbers the government puts out. They're as phony as toxic trump.
44
This story indicts America from every direction. A bankrupt safety net system and a blind, desensitized populace in New York City walking by a dead body for a week. Trump policies will make this horrid situation worse, or is it great again?
14
@Paul Shindler - Sorry, pal, but you're from New Hampshire. New Yorkers don't go peering into the darkened windows of parked cars -- especially if someone is sitting behind the wheel. Plus, Mr. Weglarz was parked in a neighborhood that isn't particularly car-conscious. (A lot of New Yorkers don't drive and only think about cars when crossing a street.) I lived in NYC for 30 years and know us to be a highly sensitized group of people that, believe it or not, do pay attention to our neighbors when it seems warranted. Since 9/11 we've become hyper-sensitized. We just don't go looking into car windows. Neither would you if you lived here.
12
Sorry
My father chose destitution rather than accept a job that was beneath him
That is a choice
7
Anti-discrimination laws to protect older workers are a joke; they never get enforced. Employers nowadays ride roughshod over employees with impunity.
Gee, somebody needs to invent unions. There's certainly nobody else looking out for us.
38
@Madeline Conant
That "invention" was brought about by three earlier generations in this country who were not distracted by TV and the internet. There were not as many college graduates back then but those generations sure seemed to be a lot smarter.
9
Another horrible end to a good man. The richest country in the world cannot be bothered to help or aid it's most vulnerable.
A sad, sad read. But, Geoffrey, you might not have imagined, but your ending could be the beginning of something better for others, if we can eventually get the Republicans out of the office across this country.
Rest in peace.
13
This man had about all the ingredients for being discriminated against in America's modern IT field -- over 60, white, and so it would be assumed he'd be less likely to accept a position as low paid as imposed on others, including recent immigrants with H-1 visas, by greedy IT companies. It's all perfectly legal discrimination, and without any so-called "activists" working against it. He won't be the last to see no way out and end his life.
15
The family expected help from the police department? That really naive. They don’t help people.
7
@jcs the lesson I always heard from my parents was: If you need help, find a firefighter or a paramedic. They'll actually help you. The police are not there to help you.
11
Sad story but at least he went as he desired. The police policy needs to be reviewed.
6
For all the NYC bashes here:
First and foremost, a New Yorker did, in fact, call the police after seeing the man a second time. What about the other days? Look, even though streets are crowded and busy, New Yorkers have a sense of respect for space. If someone wants to sit in his car, so be it. Only someone who saw the man repeatedly and did nothing might be culpable here, but any random person walking around wouldn’t suspect a tragedy, and certainly wouldn’t go looking for one. Enough with the bashing.
20
If commenters are bashing NYC, maybe it’s because New Yorkers in these comments sections always seem to be so eager to lecture and bash citizens of virtually every other US city.
6
So sad. My sympathies to the family.
7
This is eerily close to my experience in life. I won’t burden anyone with my sorrows but I will say as a man who has a college degree from a top college and is 56 years old, I am now completely reliant on my spouse as I now make 15.00 an hour.
66
I have been out of the workforce for 15 years while raising a family. At nearly 50, with outdated workplace skills, I am slowly realizing that my job prospects are quite dim. Even with my college degree and my years of multi-tasking and organizing as a stay-at-home parent I have been unable to get even one interview based upon my resume and cover letter alone. While I would like to leave my abusive husband I am afraid that I will be stuck with a minimum wage salary and erratic employment as I grow older. I too think, much like the subject of this article, that suicide is preferable to a miserable life with no prospects. I wasn’t aware that one could buy euthanasia drugs on the dark web, but will tuck this bit of information away for future reference. I’m still a few years off from seeing my kids into adulthood, but I do not want to burden them with the problems of my aging. Oh, and I will encourage them not to have kids and/or to move to a country in Europe with a better social safety net than ours currently has. So glad to have an opportunity to express what I expect will be a common sentiment as much of my generation ages. I will miss the beauty of this world but not the bleakness of human existence in our current iteration of the U. S.
49
@JW - Please talk to your family and friends or call for help. The years ahead may bring heartache but also joy. Please rethink this. I don't mean to over-react, but in your post you talk about suicide being preferable to life, and about a plan for how to do it, for "future reference." This article is incomplete, in that it leaves out the light of love that is in every life.
35
@tmalhabThank you for your words. I appreciate that you took the time to respond to my comment. Please understand that this is only a Plan B and years off, at any rate. My hope is that I will find work that pays enough that I can keep a roof over my head and afford insurance.
7
Some humans are still good and kind. Possibly most of them. Your kids would need you and would love for you to stick around. They care about you much more than you think and way more than your abusive life partner.
24
From the sound of it, Mr. Weglarz/Corbis was not mentally ill. He was despondent because he felt he had done his best, it wasn't good enough, and he couldn't figure out how to go on. Suicide is sometimes an extreme but understandable solution to what appears to be an intractable problem. What saddens me is that Mr. Weglarz didn't feel he could ask his siblings for help. His professional track record was good, he wasn't a slacker, and he had been successful. Six months on somebody's couch could have made all the difference, as he figured out how to pull his life together. I don't blame his sister and brother, I don't blame him, I don't blame anyone. But it is a shame. It's also a shame that his body sat in the car for a week before anybody saw it. Such is life on the anonymous streets of New York City.
18
@Round the Bend I don't think its just in the "anonymous" streets of NYC. This could happen anywhere and will more often as the Trump administration, the Republican controlled SCOTUS and Republicans in control continue to put Corporations first before people.
13
To the white, American men (and their spouses) in the same or a similar position as was Mr. Weglarz, I ask that you consider who you will vote for on this November 6th and again in 2020. You have basically two choices: a political party that believes in deregulation, weak labor protections, if any, and trickle-down economics and a party that doesn't, but can't hone a resonant message to save its life. I also ask that you consider voting for the latter party even though it may get on your nerves with its identity politics, infighting, and political-correctness-on-steroids approach to virtually everything. One party is more responsible for Mr. Weglarz's demise than is the other.
68
Democrats support only public sector labor unions. Unlike public sector workers, private sector workers like Mr. Weglarz, who form the bulk of America's labor force, have neither job security nor retirement security. Social security pays only a minuscule amount (430,000). If private sector workers have any savings that's going to be 'taxed away' to pay for public sector pensions. America has created a caste system among it's workers. Articles like these, about the plight of private sector workers, are rare in mainstream media. Republicans unlike Democrats, don't favor any unions. At least that levels the playing field.
6
@Rhonda
Oh brother. Neither party is responsible.
2
@Vasantha Ramnarayan
Democrats do support labor unions. Social Security is paid out of trust funds, not general revenues.
11
My condolences to his family. Very tragic that no one noticed a man sitting in his car for days. Good grief! Are we that distracted?!
Please let's be kind to each other, reach out to a neighbor. Better yet, know your neighbors, they don't have to be your best friend but do know their names and how they are.
Human connection is crucial to our health and the health of our nation.
10
This is so terribly sad, and frightening. I'm still youthful in my mid-40s, but have had a terrible time finding suitable employment at my level, and I am overqualified for pretty much anything else. (I swallowed my pride and even tried selling cars, but I quit when I watched my "supervisor" try to convince a young couple that they didn't need health insurance and could instead put that money towards a car payment.) I'm a veteran (I was an officer), and I can't tell you how many times I have seen interviewers' eyes gloss over when they learn about my service, no longer seeing me as a person but seeing some stupid movie and making assumptions about me on that basis (i.e., I must be conservative, strict, hierarchical, etc.). I was forced out of a couple high-paying positions by rival colleagues who successfully used misconceptions about veterans to spin false narratives about me. So here I am, doing anything and everything I can to find work. I fear social engagements where I have to talk about what I do. I fear one of these days my wife will leave me (thankfully she continues to believe in me and lifts me up when I despair). Some days I feel like I will never work again. Some days I wish I'd never left the military. And some days I can hear death trying to seduce me. But I know I have value and I won't give up. To all those who have shared their experiences here, please hang in there; you have value. Volunteer, network and do what you can to keep your skills sharp. Good luck.
148
Sound advice. Take care and remember you are valued.
17
@Aaron Try getting back on the federal payroll: USPS for Christmas jobs and the Census for 2020. Good luck.
http://about.usps.com/careers/welcome.htm
https://www.census.gov/about/census-careers/opportunities/location/regio...
17
"Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I couldn’t depend on a police department for help.”
That statement really struck me, as I have no doubt many Americans who aren't white were never raised to have that level of confidence in police. I know I sure was, but that trust has eroded significantly over the past several decades.
26
He was also a victim of age discrimination. It’s a tragedy.
25
I’m sure the police didn’t ignore him altogether: The windshield was probably plastered with parking tickets.
2
@CA Meyer you haven't read the article through
3
If you had read the article, you’d see that he didn’t get any parking tickets as vehicles with a driver present do not get ticketed.
10
@CA Meyer
No, The article says that since he was in his car, it looked like he was "just another idle driver" and received no tickets. This is probably worse than plastering his car with parking tickets since he had to have been seen by a ticket officer ... twice.
8
Disgusting. Reminds me of the horrible incident that happened to me in Hoboken in the late 80s. I was being harassed in outrageous, outlandish ways by my Landlord’s son. He placed dead mice in my apt, danced naked in my backyard, knocked on my door offering gifts of jewelry. The police thought it was funny and would do nothing. I abandoned the apartment. He died shortly afterwards falling off a park bench and hitting his head, drunk. Good job Hoboken cops.
16
They need to clean house at the Ninth Precinct on East Fifth Street. The laziest, rudest cops I have ever encountered. Their only goal is is to get rid of you asap with inane excuses as to why they can’t help. This place stinks from the top.
18
I new Geoff very well. We tended bar together at was then Ma Bells in Schubert Alley, and we became roomates for a couple of years. (Brief anecdote: Geoff taught me how to play backgammon. We sat in the old McHales one night swilling beer and smoking cigarettes while the damn guy beat me something like 34 games in a row. I kept thinking blind luck would enable at least 1 victory.) He overcame drinking problems and experienced a meteoric rise in the computer world. He was brilliantly intuitive with them at a time most people of our generation were, with respect to computers, dogs staring at TVs. He had no formal training, no college degree; he just understood them. He called me a few months ago, and I knew he was in trouble, certainly financially but, more tellingly, emotionally and psychologically. This is not the place for the details of his life, but I wish it had come to a happier end. RIP Geoffrey
124
Here's another one of George Carlin's famous sayings: "Never ever believe what the government tells you", in this case the police and their official statement regarding this man' death. Another thing, he was in the car , in the same position for week before anyone noticed? How sad. I thought New Yorkers these last the last 20 years had somehow improved themselves, had developed some sort of heart, some sort of compassion, compared to those who people when i lived there some 26 years ago. Seems it hasn't happened. I shouldn't expect miracles. I'm so glad i moved from that insensitive, uncaring, madhouse.
5
In the U.S., after your 40th birthday, you're dog meat ; living on borrowed time, as far as your career goes. Once you're unemployed and broke, you're as good as dead. We have a government that recently gave a massive and infinitely undeserved tax cut to their patrons, the wealthiest 1% or 2% of Americans. To everybody else, Congress threw a meatless bone. Right on cue, Mitch McConnell declared that for some reason, we were going to be running a big financial deficit (I wonder why...) and that Congress was going to have to "start looking at" all these "entitlements" as he puts it. Things like Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid.
In 1789, at what is now called La Place de la Concorde in Paris, the French People started "looking at" their criminally unresponsive government that had, for centuries, placed the wants of the greedy rich above the bare minimum needs of the masses of The People. When they looked at it, they found it severely and criminally wanting. Sort of like "our" government today. When one looks, one finds amazing parallels in history.
121
@Iman Onymous
Tax cuts to people who actually pay taxes. Oh the horror.
Sorry Iman Onymous other people's money does not belong to you or the government.
So why not just line up those who struggle after layoffs and kill us? After all we are essentially useless due to our age.
4
The First Truth of Human Life is Struggle & Pain. No one has ever come out of it alive. But everything is relative. Surely not all Americans walk by a dead man lumping over the wheel for hours & days and think that there is nothing unusual. Right now thousands of refugees from Central America are trying to flee abject poverty and gang violence by marching north. They hope to crash the American party. Nobody roll out the welcome mat for them. People are over exposed to watching waves of refugees on TV. So, nothing to see here. Cunning Trump is eager to play up the refugee invasion angle in front of his base before the Mid-Term election. The story of Geoffrey Weglarz is a reflection of the thickening of callousness in USA.
16
@Observer, Should we be rolling out the welcome mat for them? We have enough people here already in deep poverty, medical pain and suffering.
3
A key point in this article is whether the police officers involved ever told Mr. Corbis' friend and family members they needed to file their missing persons reports in Mr. Corbis' area of residency before they could proceed. If they did not then some reminders and re-training needs to happen. It's not just about the police: I see the same error in all sorts of places. What may be rote or commonly known to employees is NOT known to the customer.
Also, the officers need to work on their compassion. Believe me -- I'm in healthcare -- I know about "compassion fatigue" and how easy it is to become cynical about the people we serve but it really doesn't help anyone and in the worst cases, leads to malpractice (in my field) or complaints of negligence (in this article).
I was once in a busy downtown area and the elderly man several feet ahead of me seemed to have tripped and could not get up as I was walking away. I saw two paramedics standing and talking nearby and asked them to pls. check on the man. Since this was a rundown area, they probably assumed the man was drunk and seemed to not take my concern seriously. I remained around until they went over to check on him. Had they not done anything, I would have gone over to see the man myself and then reported them for negligence. I have worked with EMTs in the past and this is not how they are supposed to act.
17
The NYPD makes it so difficult to respect their institution as a whole, and exceedingly easy to dislike them as individuals.
13
Is this article consistent with the Recommendations for Reporting on Suicide, which were developed in collaboration with experts on suicide prevention, mental health, and journalism?
I worry a bit that this article presents suicide as the logical choice to make after a series of very crummy things happen in your life.
I think the dirty secret of media reporting on suicide is that _even if it made perfect sense for someone to kill themselves_, if you report this factually accurate story, people who are predisposed to self-harm are more likely to kill themselves.
This article mentions that the deceased exhibited warning signs (he told family that he had found a way to kill himself). The article doesn't mention that if someone tells you this, you can take some steps like -- not leaving the person alone; removing dangerous items; calling the national suicide prevention lifeline (as a concerned friend, not as the intended deceased); or taking the person to seek emergency medical treatment or treatment from a mental health professional. It sounds like the family didn't do that -- but the article doesn't necessarily mention that people should in general do that if they see that behavior.
8
@Michael: You can do those things to head off a brief wave of suicidality, but eventually the person will be released to his own recognizance. What then? When someone tries and tries and tries to find something to live for and cannot, heading off their suicide for a few days or weeks doesn't do much.
6
The McDonald's incident is key. We need a law such as in Europe where personal history can be deleted. Google refuses to do this here: we should hold them responsible for these lost lives.
24
@Samantha
How about people not be jerks and throw things at cashiers? How about unemployed people not eat out. Eating at home is much more economical.
8
The family has the full right to be upset at the police. I used to live in NY and found the police there to be extremely incompetent, LAZY, arrogant, bureaucratic, and CORRUPT. They spend more taxpayers' money on coverup than actually doing anything good for the community. Come to think of it, LAPD isn't all that better either. Police in general is a huge waste of taxpayers money. And they thrive on crimes, meaning they use crimes to scare people into submission. Time and again, the police all over the country have proved to be more of a burden and an asset to the communities that spend lots of money on them.
My heartfelt condolences go to the family of this poor man. The world is a rotten, cruel, and disgusting place, especially where money is everything in life. Human lives mean nothing if there's no price tag associate with the person. In many ways, Geoffrey has succeeded in freeing himself from this rotten world. It just that too many of us have not been able to see the world through Geoffrey's eyes, but instead would rather jump on the bandwagon that condemns his final action.
Rest in peace and in a better Geoffrey!
6
It's such a sad story. I'd like to send my condolences to Mr Weglarz's family & friends.
18
A feeling of indescribable sadness settled over me as I read this. It brought me back to the time in 2012 when my 60-year-old brother, also in IT, committed suicide after 5 years of unemployment. He despaired of ever getting another job and was deeply in debt. I know how painful it is to lose a sibling to suicide. I cannot imagine how much more painful it is when the sibling's body is not found for a week, despite attempts to have the police find him. My deepest condolences to Geoffrey's family.
83
@JenD, I too lost a 61 year old brother who was in IT.
Once a very successful programmer in SF. He died homeless and broke in the streets of San Rafael recently. This article also broke my heart. Sorry for your loss too.
25
@MS I am so sorry that you know how it feels. Condolences for your loss. I hope you have some good memories of your brother that can give you a little lift every now and then.
2
This story also resonated with me because I was the same age (49) as Mr. Weglarz when I too was dumped by the company I had worked for 30 years - AT&T, during fall 2008 of the Great Recession. It took me 17 months to finally and luckily find another position at half my pay. It's very easy to get depressed, seeing your 401K being drained, savings being drained and one month until unemployment insurance ends.
I too had to change my name, my hispanic sounding name got me a call here and there, but changing it to a more American sounding name opened the gate. In my case it was race discrimination. I found an entry-level job with my local county government and after 24 months was able to move into an IT position at a much higher salary, and after eight years, I have regained my salary.
I was lucky to be able to start again, even having to take a huge pay cut. But, it's easy to get down. It's harder to keep dusting yourself off.
Rest in peace, Geoffrey. And compassion to his family!
138
I'm pretty sure no dead person would sit in a car anywhere in an occupied town anywhere in Idaho and go undiscovered for a week as people walk by. There are advantages to be welcoming and unafraid of people you don't know. My heart goes out to his family, who must have suffered long before he took his final act.
11
We all need to look out for one another. If someone seems troubled taked the time to inquire about what's happening for them. It only takes a little time. Sometimes there are no clues to someone's suicidal ideation but there often are clues about emotional distress. Lives matter. This is such a sad story.
15
Our culture discards those who are not young, productive, healthy consumers. If you don't fit the category, you become an annoyance, invisible and without value. If you were in the privileged category, it's quite a shock the day you realize you've been expelled, and by then it's far too late for the newly woke to affect any real change to anything. The benefits for those in the privileged category favored by our capitalist overlords blind those in its grip, and the disposable nature of those expelled means they can march and vote all they want, the machine is impenetrable and pitiless.
45
This is incredibly unconscionable, how this once hard working 61 year old individual was treated, by his business and working peers, the police, adding insult to injury by refusing to do the real legwork with the information when they finally had it correctly, and our 'get tough' 'pull our own self up by your own bootstrap' disgrace of a money blinded society.
What kind of people have Americans become. Reading through some of the comments here is enough to give one a chill down the spine; the nerve of some of these people- blatantly blaming this man for his own self-inflicted death. Dear God. We truly have become a nation of self-centered, naval gazing snobs. Just what our Corporations and Big Brother CEO's envisioned.
58
Suicidality is not to be taken lightly. When suicidal ideations, or behaviors, are dismissed as “cries for help,” the chances of recurrence increase substantially, and so do the chances of success.
The problem of suicide is a symptom of a society which has been overrun by nihilism.
13
I was born during Apollo 4, four months old when the first photographs of Earth were taken that November. I too obsess over the missions, sometimes gazing catatonic at the photos of our deteriorating home... my own sort of overview effect. Though I am younger than Mr. Weglarz, I too find myself struggling through mid-life situations that seem increasingly hopeless. I constantly have to reevaluate the vision I have of my future just to get from day to day, week to week. I share his anxieties and ideations. For me, this story is more about economic despair than it is mental illness, as so many comments seem to quickly jump to.
We are all more alike in our similarities than our differences.
Your deaths were not in vain Mr. Weglarz, David Buckel, Bob Bergeron.
Ask for help. Don’t give up. Peace.
https://www.wsj.com/articles/why-deaths-of-despair-may-be-a-warning-sign...
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/20/opinion/david-buckel-fire-prospect-pa...
https://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/01/fashion/the-life-and-death-of-the-the...
18
Well said.
4
One commenter here says: "There seems to be an unspoken idea that if you don’t achieve a certain amount of success or run into problems in your life, you don’t deserve to live. "
That's about the gist of life in the USA under an aristocracy of sociopathic "leaders" and unfettered capitalism. If you're sick or depressed and not rich or employed, you deserve to die. If you aren't rich enough for college, you deserve to be uneducated. If housing isn't affordable for you, you deserve to be homeless. Health, housing, education, even the right to reproduce: all are now economic rights. Look around. It's not this way in other countries. We have become a nation full of people with stones for hearts. Trump's approval ratings have never been higher? God help us all.
Rest in peace Geoffrey. All compassion to his family.
2255
@ML We do not have "unfettered capitalism" in the United States. We have plenty of fetters in the form of laws, regulations, mandates, etc. at both the State & Federal levels.
This has nothing to do with Trump.
19
@Susan. Oh for God sake - give it a rest. Laws, regulations and mandates don't make health, education or housing affordable. Period.
123
@ML Amen to "We have become a nation full of people with stones for hearts"..to which I would add "with greed in their souls".
145
"“I’ve applied for 481 jobs,” he said on the show. “None of them have panned out. They think that anybody over a certain age is going to be used up.”"
Students who consider CS as a major need to understand that they choose a profession in which they will be very likely dismissed past 45 unless you move up to management.
One of my students, working as an intern at Apple and eagerly recruited by Apple, noted than none of the technical members in his team where older than 45.
A recent email from a laid off at 45, STEM female Ph.D,
"I think older higher pay people are often first to go. I have seen many layoffs and finally it hit me. And I will help XXX (name of her daughter) to select a profession that is less prone to such problem.
Take care and please don’t send any email to XXX (corporate email address) as I might not be there next Thursday.
----------
I advised my daughter to choose a profession that can not be outsourced and that is protected from immigration of competent individuals willing to work for less
She's an MD
32
@Gerhard The age cutoff for tech employment in the SF Bay Area lowers all the time. I think it's currently settled at 40 years of age for male software developers, and 35 for female.
10
@Gerhard While medicine is a relatively "safe" choice, I wouldn't say it's entirely protected from immigration/competition. For example, I know that some radiology departments have examined whether x-rays can be read from outside the US and the rise of telemedicine has both its pros and cons, business-wise.
My own personal ways to combat these are a) trying to be the best at what I do and b) having a side business that has nothing to do with medicine. For the latter, I lucked out in that I inherited my parents' business. However, they ran that business at the same time they were working full-time jobs in other "safe" fields. They always thought it was a good idea to have a back up.
8
People need to plan ahead. Be prepared to lose your career at 50. Be prepared to earn and exist on minimum wage as you adjust. It happened to both my parents but they had structured their lives to live independently. They had acquired some real estate and built a home, without a mortgage, just as they turned 50. After he was let go, my father tried his own business but gave up waiting for the phone to ring. Both took jobs working minimum wage for the next 30 years. When they passed around the age of 90, they had saved seven million. They owned a house, a garden and a boat, everything they wanted out of life. If they had stayed in the first house they bought, instead of chasing my father's career-as long as it lasted-they would have owned a house, a garden and a boat with a lot less stress and a lot more free time.
14
@Beaconps
I bet your parents remember the depression?
People need to live on less than they make and save for hard times. The guy in the article did not.
1
Many of the comments lament our fraying safety net here in the US that gets less helpful by the year, and I agree with them. But I have trouble imagining a safety net that allows someone to continue living in an opulent home they can no longer afford. Even a functional, fair, generous safety net would not have kept this man in his home.
At one point, he turned down a decent job he felt was beneath him, and he quit another due to the stresses of required travel. He made what now seem like mistakes, and he probably overestimated his competitiveness in the job market. This is a sad story. I am his exact age, but doing quite well, with no plans to quit my job.
22
@Lisa Olsen Often the less than ideal decisions people make can be influenced by depression. Depression can often wear a coat of chronic anger, helplessness and -- worst of all -- hopelessness that makes being alive for another day unbearable.
I saw all of these things in my own brother who took his own life. This kind of wisdom is very expensive.
14
@Lisa Olsen @Lisa Olsen Often the less than ideal decisions people make can be influenced by depression. Depression can often wear a coat of chronic anger, helplessness and -- worst of all -- hopelessness that makes being alive another day unbearable.
I saw all of these things in my own brother who took his own life. This kind of wisdom is very expensive.
3
@Lisa Olsen
It's very common for men not to take jobs they think are beneath them. It is seen in the auto industry all the time.
3
Can’t blamed it all on the cops. Were people in neighborhood sleep walking? When I lived in old “Little Italy” back in the day everybody was alert as what was going in the hood.
12
@Taher I cannot help but wonder if the tinted windows of the car may have had some bearing on the length of time before the discovery.
6
@AnitaSmith
very astute observation
1
This story is similar to the fictional one by John O'Hara titled Appointment in Samara. The novel is set in the 1930s and the main character's life unravels in short order after he throws a highball into the face of another man. He kills himself in a car at the end. The setting for O'Hara's story s a small town and the town becomes a character in the novel. The constant information and unforgiving nature of our connected world has made a small town out of a country - and not in an endearing way. So very sorry for this man's family and circumstances - This story was eerily reminiscent of the O'Hara book and was unnerving to me because I see so many parallels in our society to that of the 1930s - a time when the world was on the cusp of something truly malign.
41
very sad- to me this is a terrible non-action by the NYC police!!! This should have been handled in the proper manner!!! A very sad ending to a life that was in a terrible downfall!!!!
3
Capitalism works in the narrow sense of creating great wealth but it almost all flows to a handful of people so in the end it's actually worse than alternative systems.
12
Perhaps we need to define down "success" and provide affordable living conditions, health care, good benefits, for regular folk.
Perhaps "software" should not be the holy grail in our lives.
Perhaps we should not let corporations replace people with robots.
Oh, perhaps ... we could get some good people with heart in government and stop blaming victims for our misfortunes.
Perhaps ... we could get a brain and deal with toxic life and toxic earth before it's too late ...
20
I always ponder when I see a massive police response to a death or accident what would these officers otherwise be doing? NYPD obviously has the manpower to respond to these tragic events with dozens of officers. Could they not have responded with the same urgency to help the despondent Mr. Corbis?
9
As a New York City resident for thirty-something years, this does not seem strange to me. Tinted windows, who looks inside? A strange smell, that's every day. It is sad for the family, but nobody needs to blame themselves for this. Least of all the police.
29
The article mentions that the car windows were tinted. Why are tinted windows legal? --I should think that contributed to people not seeing a body in the car. Personally, I have almost been hit by cars backing up in parking lots when I thought they were empty. What purpose do tinted windows serve. I'd really like to know.
5
In South Florida, tinted vehicle windows are necessary when you don't have a garage.
I just had my car windows tinted. They won't tint the windshield because it's illegal. The side windows on the driver's side and passenger side have to have a lighter tint than the remaining three windows.
9
@susan celebrities like them too. We have quite a few of famous folks in NYC who don't want to be bothered. One extremely famous one lives in a townhouse adjacent to my mother's. apartment building. If people saw this Very Famous Person inside her car every time she went out (via the garage in her townhouse), the neighborhood would be constantly filled with paparazzi. I can understand why she wishes to shield herself.
8
@susan Some "bad" guys don't want people to be able to easily see what they are doing, e.g., having a weapon in their laps.
California law allows side windows to be tinted only if the material still allows some visibility:
https://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/codes_displaySection.xhtml?lawC...
One should not tint windows unless they can afford to pay tickets and have the tinting removed. People have "lost" cars because vehicles were towed due to unpaid citations.
1
This story really hits home with me, and from the comments, very many other people. I hope that one day the very real fear people in this country have about falling through the cracks and slowly losing everything gets transmitted into real political action. Not the kind we have today that uses scapegoats to redirect that fear, but actual forward movement that creates dignity and a safety net for our citizens.
34
This is a tragic story, but not only the lack of help with mental illness. That a human being could be dead for so long in plain view of so many people on a busy street in a city such as New York City, without anybody noticing or doing anything, speaks volumes about our culture these days. If we cannot even notice someone is dead, how can we care for them when they are alive? Tragic.
It reminds me of my grandmother who died alone but mercifully in her sleep in her own bed in her own house, in a small village. The next morning the neighbours noticed the shades were still drawn, which they found unusual. After an hour they had all gathered, and when nobody answered they decided to go inside (everyone has keys to everybody's homes it seems like) together with the local family doctor. She was still warm when they found her, and by the afternoon family had rushed to the town.
I know it cannot be like that in a big city, but if everyone would look up from their phones from time to time, and not prioritise their own lives above all others all the time, these sort of tragic incidents would probably occur less frequently.
Even if you cannot prevent a death, you can prevent someone living and dying without dignity.
22
@David
In fairness, some people are looking at their phones precisely to stay in touch with or check the well-being of family members.
5
This is one of the best-written stories I have read in a long time. Factual, non-hysterical, informative, caring. Kudos to the author. You made me care!
35
My husband was dismissed at 57 when his company was purchased. He looked for work for 5 years (never even getting a call back) until finally declaring himself retired. If not for my work, our savings and being debt free, he could have found himself in that same spot. I'm grateful that he was healthy and had strong enough self esteem to withstand the blows to his ego after a stellar career. It could happen to anyone.
215
Please folks I am noticing a common
pattern in comments. Do not tie your self-worth and identity to your job. Period. You are much much more than that. Free your mind and the rest will follow as the song goes. Once you are able to do this you’ll find happiness and freedom like never before. Also you need to take a very strict review of how you are living- your expenses, etc. what you pay for housing etc. into account because what you pay for where you live will dominate how you live. We moved from a bigger place to a tiny place and am happier than ever before. I also joined a church on the prodding of family and my social calendar has filled up like never before. There is hope but you do need to do things differently if you really want to be happy.
80
What do you do when there is no room to “downsize”? This is what Boomers don’t get. Everyone in the house works, is educated, pulls long hours, works hard - and it’s still a tiny place, a junk car, rice and beans, a long commute, particleboard furniture, one paycheck from disaster. The rent, health insurance, and student loans eat your paycheck. And that whole, “just be a plumber” schtick is nonsense. Without a degree you’re at Walmart, working flex hours, eating once a day and you can’t see the doctor or the dentist.
40
@IJN
Very well put. Happiness doesn't put food on the plate nor medicine in the body.
3
@IJN I’m a Generation Xer not a Boomer. Yes-you bring up excellent points. So then you do your best to plan, you find the most reasonably place to live since that is a monthly expense and generally the most expensive monthly expense-and then if that still doesn’t work, you have to move. And don’t just move anywhere- do your research. www.city-data.com and their “Forum” section is a great place to start. Good luck and believe me, I know where you are coming from because I used to be in those same shoes.
4
There is nothing quite as unsettling than when someone we love decides to end their own life, but even worse, when they try hard to prepare us by leaving small but very cryptic hints of their intent. As Mr. Wegland did with his sister.
But, there is something else that strikes me about this individual's despair, and many others' who increasingly find themselves in similar economic straights, that I don't think anyone has cared to bring up.
This 61 year old man had worked his entire life. He'd contributed all those working years into the various required payroll deductions for his social security, medicare and then he suddenly, by mere slight of his older age and seemingly overnight, became, mysteriously 'unemployable'. I think we all know how that kind of rampant age discrimination is contributing to so much of our American dystopia. But why are we not allowing those who have lawfully contributed those taxes, to access their own money, in times of a true financial emergency. This is an incredibly sad testament to how deeply troubled we are as a nation when we allow our older, long contributing workers to be simply kicked to the side of the road.
Suicide should not, should never be a reason to a way out, for a 50 or older worker who is so spiritually disillusioned with his inability to find work and be productive again. We have to do better by our fellow citizens. We have to.
158
@RLC Suicide is the retirement plan for a lot of people. There is no safety net for the most vulnerable in this country. No job security, pensions, health insurance...you have to retire with millions which most people are not in the position to do. Go USA :(
37
I am in my 60's and have a job that is about as secure as it can get (and a pension for when I do go). Am I feeling all safe and secure, all warm and fuzzy? No I do not. I worry about the future, I worry what would happen if I lose my job. And I worry about getting another job.
30
All too easily could have been my story.
At Xerox I was learning and implementing new technologies all the time and received a number of awards and commendations for my work. Then got dumped at 55 into an ageist market where hundreds of applications all over North America yielded only sporadic work until an inheritance and pre-sale renovation in a rising real estate market enabled me to retire in an inexpensive town.
In software the great temptation is to keep your head down delivering solutions in the now well proven naivety that your employer will value your contribution. Software developers tend to geekdom at the cost of neglecting to nurture a network.
To any aspiring software developer my advice is that you need to have a plan that will allow you to retire comfortably at 35 as that's the age where the risk of being discarded into an ageist employment market steepens.
53
@GeorgeNotBush - Re your last paragraph: You make turning 35 in software development sound as risky an occupation as acting is for 35-year-old women. Can this be true? I've read that surgical skills decline at 40, and a physicist who hasn't made his name by 26 probably never will. Maybe the retirement age should be lowered rather than raised, so that the majority of us can rest securely in our mediocrity. There's more to life than making money, provided the necessities are taken care of. No doubt Mr. Weglarz, who sounds like a nice man, made a few mistakes in his 60 years, as we all do or will. Sadly, his story is an example of how our society is becoming a cesspool where you either sink or swim and one's life becomes an endurance contest. Maybe we should forget about "Be Best" for a moment and, like this article, pay respect to those who also swan.
3
I am very sorry for the passing of Mr. Weglarz and for the anguish of his friends and family. Mental illness is a serious issue in our country. NYC has a population of 8.6 million and the police can’t possibly reach everyone. Mental health treatment is expensive and those who need it most don’t have it. In our income and individual-driven status society where identity and your job are linked to your perceived happiness, deaths like these are more likely. He was in a spiral downward, yet he presented everything as being fine. This is a hallmark of mental illness. For those of us reading this story I ask you to look out for your family, friends,and your community. They may present a bright light on the outside but be in complete darkness in actuality. Their actions speak louder than their words so be observant and do everything you can to help. It could happen to anyone-rich poor and everything in between. Any background. A community church where people really look out for one another is invaluable and provides critical support in times like this. There are places of support available one just needs to look for them. With all the technology we have people are lonelier than ever before. It starts with us. We are that community of support and we need to rely on one another.
14
To all of my fellow creative and independent souls who chose meaning over security and walk over the bottomless maw every day -- I give you my respect. In turn, value yourself and your quest. Don't let the world turn you against yourself.
20
@Ananda You comment is appreciated. I was an activist all my career and have little financially to show for it. My brother valued money above all else and is a rotten soul who feels he is superior because of his money. Now at the end of my life I have stage 4 cancer and do not hear a word from him--he is "too busy."
5
The thing is, there was likely no support for this same man in the many news stories published after the MacDonald's incident. It is amazing how your perceptions of someone change when you understand the battles they are fighting. To me this is a lesson that we need to do better in recognizing signs of human distress and intervening before someone reaches a breaking point.
56
Even when things are going well, and even if you are middle class and have some support systems, it takes a lot of perseverance to keep the machinery of a modern life working in good order. When things go wrong it is frightening to see how easily life deteriorates, despite noble attempts to soldier through. And this is the U.S., so we don't have the safety net we should have.
Decades ago, a friend remarked that he made his bed every morning because if he did not, he feared that all the other pieces of order in his life would unravel. This was in the days before the avalanche of email and texts added to the daily juggling of bills, inquiries and responsibilities that keep us on the run.
Thank you for writing such a respectful article in a way that NY Times readers can relate to. For me, it offers another bridge to empathy for all people of all circumstances in need of assistance.
57
The role of the Internet in this man’s downward spiral cannot be overstated. Whereas once a brush with the law was for most a short-term private unpleasantness (and perhaps needed corrective), now it is life sentence albatross that cannot be escaped. In panicked desperation, his man shed his very identity in a futile attempt to escape the Eye of Sauron that is Google. We have become a mean and unforgiving people living in a dystopian surveillance society. Peace to you, Geoffrey. I could have walked your path, and may yet still.
129
@Johnny You are so right about the influence of the internet in this man's life. A family member had an arrest several years ago. She has been unable to find a job since graduating from college over 2 years ago. Google her name, and pages and pages of stories about the incident, which happened in her early 20s, come up. She is young enough -- with a since-clean record -- that she will be eligible to apply for record expungement in a couple years, but that story will live on for many more years on the internet. Frankly, I am hoping she changes her name.
14
@Johnny
"and may yet still"...a chilling end to your statement. Please, do not walk that same path. Many of us out here care a great deal about you.
3
@Johnny well said.
2
The global economy, 2 cases
1. A software designer ended his life in his parked car in the East Village. "I’ve applied for 481 jobs. None of them have panned out. They think that anybody over a certain age is going to be used up.”
2. “The Information Technology Industry Council, a trade group based in Washington that represents dozens of hardware, software and service firms, filed a motion Thursday in federal court in support of the Optional Practical Training program.”
“After student visas run out, international students are eligible to pursue work related to their degrees for a 12-month OPT period. That also allows them to remain in the country as they enter the lottery for an H-1B visa or pursue other avenues to keep working.”
SF Chronicle 10/18
31
@Woof
Yup. Contrary to opinions about the caravan of refugees heading north, this is exactly where the real damage of immigration happens.
Local building contractors drive down to the WaWa to hire undocumented day laborers. The tech. industry shovels lobbying money down Pennsylvania ave.
12
This story is heartbreaking--I am sad for this family. It's so wrong that a person with experience and talent should find it this hard to find employment.
But I know many versions of this story--men over 50 who have held great jobs, but then there was a merger, a sale, or some other corporate change that left them out. Now, they can't get back in. I have multiple friends who, since 2008, have been unemployed more than employed. Their employment options have not been very good: temp jobs, lower wage or commission-only, jobs far below their skills and talents. Some have taken jobs in other states and rarely see their wives and kids. In every case, their wives, adult children, and their retirement savings have been their safety nets. It stinks to be tapping your retirement savings and being a burden to your family when you're under 60.
And now the GOP will be trying, after the midterms, to plunder Social Security and Medicare to pay for their tax cut gift to billionaires, so we'll have even less safety net.
This situation is so wrong, and so unnecessary. As a society, we need to invest in our people--educate our young people well, and find a way to employ people like Mr. weglarz.
84
I once was so sick of a junker, I parked it where it fell, W. 15th, off 5th. It had a raft of unpaid tickets. That whole week, in a No-Parking zone, no tickets, no boot, nada.
6
I'm a
friend of Geoffrey’ s who was quite aware of his struggles. To lay the blame on age discrimination for employment ( which obviously there is) as the highlighted reason for his suicide is missing the far greater points
Of his numerous struggles he had in his life
One in particular that I won't name here would probably kept his demise at bay. To use his death to denigrate this country and capitalism
Is wrong.
10
it would be helpful to know at leasr the nature of that struggle to put the other aspects in perspective. Is it related to anger management and did his family know of the struggle you mention?
4
@Bill Sorry for the loss of your friend. Without any other details, it is evident that he never recovered from his job loss and had no safety net, and saw no other options. If you can't share your thoughts based on your personal relationship with him, we can't draw any other conclusion than this country fails the most vulnerable. Unless you share what you "know" you're not adding to the conversation and just taking pot shots at a well written article about a story that's becoming all too familiar.
25
I'm Geoff's sister and would love to know what you are referring to?
21
“Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I couldn’t depend on a police department for help.” This is the reality for most Americans. It's disgusting how our system discards the most vulnerable. And yet, I wonder, given his lauded status as a high-income earner living in CT, just how much empathy he and his family had for low-income Americans, victims of police brutality, etc. When I look at my 30-something peers in tech, they are on top of the world with not a lick of understanding that they owe their vast wealth less to the meritocracy and more to systemic inequalities. Looking at the plight of older workers, and it seems that if you fast forward 30 years this will be their lot as well, but in the meanwhile, they'll keep arguing against a better social safety net. When this man applied for 481 jobs and didn't get one, he was responding to the injustice of not getting that to which he felt entitled. Did he feel -all- working Americans are entitled to a living wage for a full day's work? I'm reminded of Peggy Seeger's beautiful ballad "Nobody knew that she was there" but I guess we've reached a sufficiently dystopian place as a society where the disenfranchised working class stories now stretch to encompass white collar workers.
17
A sad story. The safety net with which we think we can surround ourselves is fragile indeed. In Mr. Weglarz's case, it was very, very thin.
Condolences to the family. This must be an awful time for them.
13
Surely someone passing by his car noticed something was awry . A man sitting in his car for days and no one thought to call the police ? How sad that we as human beings adopt the attitude of no involvement and walk right past . Sadder yet that the despair and pain Mr. Weglarz felt was so insurmountable , to prompt him to take his life . Our society is very hard on the aging . Experience means nothing when competing for a job with the younger worker and only serves to erode a person's self worth when passed over because of age . Depression truly is a deep dark pit and those close
feel powerless to help a loved one . A death by suicide whether it be by actively taking one's life or simply giving up and neglecting their health is something that will haunt those left behind . I know .
13
The windows were tinted. But even so....
2
@sm I walk my dogs a lot every day, and I never, ever look into a parked car's windows.
7
This is indeed a sad outcome, particularly not being found.
However, as with most stories I've read regarding the people trampled by the economy, he in fact made a series of unwise decisions with his career. It's not as if an economic or social anvil fell on his head, in the form of his never having had a good job or suffering a major illness. He walked away from a good paying job at the bottom of the Great Recession.
Companies not hiring older and more experienced workers on the presumption they will be unsatisfied with the salary or will have outdated skills is a problem. This fellow's tragic path should not be taken as a general metaphor for it.
10
@HKGuy: It's tough to pick yourself up and sell yourself and your abilities to strangers when you're deeply depressed, isn't it?
I find it mesmerizing that most of Trump voters are men in their 50s, that are voting for a guy and a party that want to get rid of any form of universal healthcare and is bent on getting rid off any vestiges of social welfare. How that does make sense?
87
What happened here to Geoffrey is parallel to my distraught daughter in 2010 whose body was found badly decomposed in the back seat of her car.
Grace Ophelia, 27, went missing in August during a heatwave - in Florida. She was not found until September 14th. I had told the authorities to look for her car and when the missing persons report was broadcast on the news someone called the police saying they'd seen the car on a busy street in an open air parking lot for weeks.
Yes, it smelled. But people thought it was the fish truck next to her car. She was lying on her side like she was taking a nap. Not covered up.
I have no doubt that persons walking past her car with its clear windows caught a glimpse of her but kept going... Hazmat had to remove her.
Yes, she was mentall ill. Not suicidal. She was dejected as a new budget minded manager at the psych clinic she regularly attended switched her case worker and put her on a fast track for closing her case. Not one clinician I spoke with recommended this for a diagnosis of schizophrenia with negative symptoms. Grace Ophelia was finally opening up and coping with the late onset of her illness.
The long drive she took along the gulfside was her last.
Colatoral effect within our family continues.
My heart goes out to this family. I share the sorrow deeply.
131
@Mary Setterholm I am so sorry for your loss.
10
@Mary Setterholm,
I am so very sorry for your loss.
Trying to cope with mental illness is devastating for family members, not to mention the afflicted person.
It is barbaric to live in a society that provides almost nothing for the mentally ill.
Thank you for sharing your story - if enough people speak out, perhaps there will be some possibility for change.
12
@Mary Setterholm
Deep sympathies on this shattering loss of your daughter.
9
Sounds like the typical self-satisfied unhelpfulness of the NYPD.
I live near the UN,where there are often large contingents of police for one reason or another, closed streets and detours. The cops spend a lot of time talking to each other about where they're going to move when they retire (in their 40s -- VIrgin Islands and Florida are popular retirement spots, based on conversations I've oveheard). On a more mundane level, they spend a lot of time talking about where they are going for their next coffee break. But ask them a simple question -- like why the street is closed, or where the bus has been rerouted to -- you get a blank stare or maybe a self-important "hey, we're fighting the war on terror here." Maybe that's what those cops down in the East Village were doing -- "fighting the war on terror" (not to mention calculating how they could juice up their pensions with "war on terror overtime").
40
This is horrible.
This is real.
Lives can change in an instant, or gradually.
It can happen to anyone. It happened to me.
Reach out, please.
42
To Mr. Weglarz's family and friends, my deepest sympathy for your loss. From reading this article, he seems to have been a wonderful person. May he rest in peace.
16
Superb article. And I just wanted to say that this story has elicited some of the most interesting and insightful comments I've ever read online with NYT. Thank you to all those who've shared.
83
About 20 years ago I was fired from my job and publicly humiliated by my former employer who was pre-emptively trying to head off a sexual harassment lawsuit. I started thinking of ways to kill myself. At the same time I was fired I saw a story on the news about a woman in a similar situation who had been fired as a school superintendent and was being trashed by the all-male board of education. She seemed feisty and determined and I was rooting for her. I thought she could win. About a week later she killed herself in her car in her garage. Maybe strangely to some people, this made me angry on her behalf and determined in her memory. I pulled through and stopped thinking about killing myself. But I never stopped thinking of her.
It's true that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but it's also true that it's hard to see that from the depths of despair. I am sorry Mr. Weglarz did not have a beacon, like I did with the school superintendent, to help him see through his despair.
161
Employers around the country took advantage of the Great Recession to purge their payrolls of expensive older workers: "the Discarded."
With experience now a disqualifying liability in the job market, the Discarded are too old to hire but too young to officially retire. And whether they're among the destitute long-term unemployed, or are eking out a precarious existence in a McJob or the "gig economy," the official labor statistics conveniently ignore the Discarded. As do elected officials, who presumably don't want to offend donors that consider age discrimination an essential part of their tireless quest to "unlock shareholder value."
The media also do their part in ignoring the Discarded. Except in cases like this, which are so egregious and sensational that editors believe they will draw the eyeballs to the ads that surround it and generate the revenue that creates their own shareholder value.
Even if they don't rot in a parked car for a week after their suicide, the Discarded clearly represent a serious and inexcusable failure of American capitalism. No wonder our elected officials and their donors prefer to ignore them and (privately) hope they'll just quietly disappear as Mr. Weglarz did.
But the rest of us should open our eyes to the Discarded, and demand that our elected officials do the same. Because even those of us who are currently employed are far too likely to join the ranks of the Discarded when we reach the age of 50, or in some industries 40 or 35.
117
I read this story three times. I'm an older worker, and haven't yet experienced the age discrimination that many of these comments mention. I often wonder why 55+ people who get laid off will try to find another job exactly like the one they lost. Seems like an exercise in frustration. Plan ahead, be resilient, change direction, get a roommate, move someplace cheaper, start a business... try any of the thousands of different options available. Your former career and title are the least important aspects of your life. Look to the future, not the past.
21
@Sonny
You say you "haven't yet experienced the age discrimination" and may I assume you haven't yet been let go for one reason (or excuse) or another, then you do not have the experience to comment along the lines you do. One day your life goes on as normal and the next it changes completely. Now you are back on square one, but not 20 years old. It's not as easy as you think.
40
As Geoff's sister we thought the same way but obviously that is easier said then done.. When once you were a highly sought after individual....
11
There is a lot of concerning topics here that I had, have, or will be going through in the next few months. My downfall was medical. Thanks for this story encouraging readers to share ... and reminding me of people willing to help.
17
To me, this appeared to be an individual's tragic, improbable story, but with comments it takes the form of a national scandal and disgrace on multiple planes. With two weeks prior to mid-term elections, I'd like to hear any one of our leaders, regardless of party, address this degrading situation, so simply displayed by one gentleman's struggle and demise. I believe most would fail to answer in clear terms.
30
Once your over 50 you can't just quit your job without another one already lined up. Even then it's no guarantee that you won't be let go. Too bad nobody in his family could help him.
24
We as his family helped him in many ways emotionally and financially Geoff didn't quit his job he was tossed aside he was brilliant... If you read the article in its entirety you should have seen a clip that he participated in on PBS if you haven't please do so... And please don't judge my family is completely unfair!
19
I think the quality of an article is how long it sticks with you. This one will be weighing on me for awhile.
65
No pensions (my depression era parents retired with a modicum of security)
Republican obsession with killing ACA
McConnell ‘s targeting of Medicare and social security to offset recent tax windfalls for fat cats
Discrimination against anyone not young and white and male
Welcome to the mythical land of opportunity. For a few
Condolences to the family
So sad
51
@r mackinnon
Like George Carlin said, "They call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it."
30
Very sad story. I wonder if things could have turned out differently for him if people still called each other on the phone and talked instead of texting. It's chilling that his friend texted him and he texted back apparently as he was in the process of killing himself. We'll never know if the outcome could have been different if they had actually spoken and maybe the friend could have picked up on his despair, or Weglarz could have picked up on his friend's sincere concern.
31
@Fern I was wondering that, too. I'm single and live alone, and there are so many times that I need to hear a friendly voice. But no one will pick up the phone any more. No one takes the time to talk to one another and really listen. It really is sad.
15
As one of Geoff's sister's sadly text has become the easiest mode of communication guy but I assure you had he called any of us we would have answered and my sister Pam the sibling closest to my brother called him over and over again to the point she feared his phone would die and we would never find him.
14
I am very sorry for Mr. Weglarz and his loved ones. His story does reflect the reality of ageism in employment in this country and also the long-standing effects of the Great Recession.
However, I think the fact that his body remained in his parked car for a week without being noticed says more about contemporary urban living than it does about the NY police.
17
Good point about contemporary urban living. Especially seen in current over gentrified New York City, where the number of tourists and b
gig economy disruptors like Uber and Air B&B create a city that is more transient than residential. Hence less neighborly. How else could so many people walk by a parked car witha dead guy in it, for an entire week, and not notice. This is far more disturbing than the old days of jaded residents.
12
I once tried to turn off the lights in a parked car on my block at night. When i opened the door someone leaped from the backseat. in the case of this sad story the windows were tinted. i assime the front wasnt so someone saw the person after 2 days and called. i dont know if people saw and ignored this poor soul ...there is a lotbof blame to go around.
2
A tragedy for the family, to be certain.
However, I believe the police department is being painted in an unfair light here. Mr. Corbis was an adult who wanted to disappear, in this case by committing suicide.
Neither of those things are illegal, nor should they be in a free society.
As the phrase "protect and serve" is thrown around, it is important to consider that, perhaps, the police department was indeed serving Mr. Corbis, by protecting his privacy.
My condolences to the family, and my hope that Mr. Corbis found peace.
7
I'm one of Geoff's sister's and yes he did want to die but set up many safe guards ask so we could find him they all failed mostly the police department. We are a family of strong values and the police most definitely let is down but mostly Geoff. My sister Pam and brother Larry begged and pleaded for help locating our brother only to be told we don't look for people who aren't NY resident's. This is N.Y. City for God's sake how can thid be their policy?
8
@Terri However, you can be sure when the missing person is one of the highly-valued, high-spending tourists, especially younger ones, they go all out to find them.
I am very sorry for your loss.
1
It's hard to lose your place among your peers. But I believe that it's best to accept your new reality, not fight against it.
This can mean accepting jobs you never thought you'd have to do, menial jobs with uneducated co-workers and mean managers, low pay and bad benefits. The first time I had to mop a floor, I was mortified. But by the second time, I was kind of into it. Why shouldn't a previously fortunate person ever have to lower themselves? It's not the end of the world, or doesn't have to be. The journey changes and it's a chance to see life from a new perspective and most of all, to learn. Message from a tee shirt -" Don't look back. You're not going there."
56
Glad you've made peace with a lower paying job and lower status, but that isnt a solution to our current employment climate and ramoant ageism. When companies eschew older, skilled workers for younger ones willing to work more hours for lower pay, it isnt just the individual who suffers. His or, in recent years, her family suffers. Children see their futures and possibilities diminish. And for what? For some dude to work his low-bees to death with promises of great work experience, while taking in obscene profits? The only way to combat ageism is for our world to acknowledge it and change it. Doubtful in the "I've got mine" Trump era.
40
@TS Of course you are right about ageism. I am only offering a spiritual alternative to suicide.
6
@DesertFlowerLV So your solution is to cheerfully accept downward mobility as the normal, and perhaps inevitable, career trajectory for skilled and educated workers after corporate executives deem them too expensive to satisfy the quarterly demands of their Wall Street masters?
I'm very glad you are so cheery and optimistic as you work your "menial jobs with uneducated co-workers and mean managers, low pay and bad benefits." But I doubt many others would accept that, particularly if they played by the rules and enjoyed a decent standard of living before plunder capitalism tossed them in the dumpster. Like me, they would wonder whether that's really the best America, once the "land of opportunity" can now offer.
I'm also certain your comment would bring great joy to the aging and ailing Koch Brothers. For they seem intent on paying their Republican servants to create a kind of feudalism in which they and other oligarch plutocrats have all the nation's wealth, and rule as entitled nobility over 300 million impoverished serfs. If those serfs could all be as happy, optimistic, and accepting of their ordained place as you appear to be, the Kochs' America would be a utopia indeed.
43
Recently, I accidentally left my purse, with cash and cards, at a major chain restaurant. Later that afternoon, when I was 300 miles away, I realized my error, and tried to call the restaurant. My bad luck, their phone was out of order. I called the local police and asked if an officer who was in the area could simply drive by and notify the restaurant that their phone had gone out, and could they please call me. No possible way, the police receptionist told me, the police don't help people with personal problems, even if it only takes 5 minutes, and they wouldn't make an exception for me.
So much for the friendly officer on the corner, there to help you if you need help.
85
What did he use? Where did he get it? If anyone out there can offer an educated guess, that might be helpful to many desperate suffering people. Our veterinarians offer compassionate care to our pets, but doctors risk losing their licenses or even their liberty if they do the same for us. It seems guns are the new health insurance and social safety net, but not everyone is comfortable with that level of violence. Trump's America is a brutal place and humanity is losing the mid-terms in early voting.
24
@Charlie Clarke If people in despair who are potential voters kill themselves, Trump wins. McConnell wins. No sense making it easier to reach that outcome.
1
"Protect ans Serve" sounds good, but it's really meaningless. The police have so many self-serving rules and regulations, ones that protect THEM, not us, that the "Serve" part never enters the equation. In reality, they "Serve" their bosses and unions, not citizens. Beware.
9
It scares me how much I can relate to this. I am fortunate in that I have some options provided I live an extraordinarily meager lifestyle while I avoid social media so I don't have to compare my lot to friends and family living a normal life. In addition to being humbled and embarrassed by my summer job-level earnings, I also have no professional gravitas left. It is an incredible social experiment to see how people look at you differently when you no longer have a title of import. But the worst part is realizing that there is no hope or optimism for a better future with increased growth, ever again.
76
@Paul in NJ
Don't you think we need some sort of "Proud to be Frugal" movement? I'm sure you have cheap-living tips that would benefit society, now that employees seem to be regarded as unwanted expenses. Hold your head high, you're in the vanguard.
8
This is a very tragic story. Headlines are
about a booming economy and low
unemployment-plent of jobs. However,
this person with vast experience in well
known companies couldn't find one. In
desperation he ended his life. It makes no
sense.nWe hear of race discrimination, religious
prejudice, but age discrimination is worse.
Sad!
14
@s.khan: Why must age discrimination be worse than discrimination on the basis of religion, race, or other characteristics? Can't they all be terrible? Shouldn't we fight them all?
2
Story well done. Thank you.
6
This is sad on many levels. First, my best wishes for his family as they deal with his loss. Secondly, I don't think that you can just blame the police for not finding him. He had already committed suicide so it is just a matter of tardiness. But why didn't anyone in the family question his purchase of poisin? This is not normal. Also, it sounds like he was on a downward spiral for a while and didn't seem to get any help along the way. He might have been able to divert this conclusion. I don't really know what the answer is but it is very hard to get help when you need it but you need to try. There is help out there. Call a help line, go to a hospital, say you are in trouble, leave your ego at the door and get some help.
9
@Sally L.: They did talk with him about it. What can one do? He had the right to kill himself, and he did so. His family (as is shown by both the article and his sister's comments here in the comment section) loved him very much. But love doesn't necessarily keep someone alive in the face of huge obstacles. It's too easy to second-guess, isn't it?
5
I live in the EV and it says a lot about policing in the in the neighborhood. A week. C'mon...
8
Many comments here focus on the discrimination we old people face in the working world. Old, of course, begins at 40-something. How unfair all of this is.
I am reminded by this of the hundreds of comments in The Times reacting to recent political stories. Of the comments bemoaning the old people who continue to run for seats; comments complaining that it's time for the old people to go away and let the vibrant, with-it young bloods take over. Comments telling us that we're past it.
Just sayin'.
48
@Rea Tarr I don't think comparing the workforce to politics is fair. Bernie Sanders' supporters, who are progressive and typically younger, see no issue with his age. It's the antiquated baby boomer mindset is what most want out of politics.
20
@Marianne
The comments I refer to are, typically, against people (in politics) who are in their 70's, 80's and, even, 90's. Not baby boomers.
And why would age discrimination be acceptable in the world of politics and not in the work arena? No comparison? Nonsense!
3
Many of the current crop of old people I'm government are enacting laws and policies that create a climate of age discrimination as well as environmental and social degradation. When laws and policies favor those at the top who are unaffected by wage and age discrimination, the laws and policies do not have the future or the youth in mind. In fact,the youth are only there to work to death with long hours, high demands, low pay,and no protection. The aged lawmakers tell these things help business, but they only help businesses where those unaffected by retirement age and diminished labor laws. And,in our current politics, what does younger actually mean? Electing someone who is perhaps the same age as the folks in their 40s and 50s who can't provide the way their older siblings now in their 60s and 70s once could. moving the old Boomers out of power for the late Boomers and Gen X could perhaps change things.
5
Why did he stay in NYC? Living in Round Rock is pretty nice. My expectation is a senior development manager for Dell, particularly single, can live pretty well there. Jobs are plenty in TX and a Dell resume credit carries weight there. I realize NYC is the only place for many commenters. When your life changes, then you have to make significant changes to your life. My guess is he always wanted what he had. Maybe he wanted to stay near his son. Making the decision to check out obviously failed that criterion.
8
His son. I don't blame him one bit for not wanting to move away from him.
2
He had a child in NY—and was sharing custody.
1
This is yet another story of a seasoned software engineer who can't find work. From a technical perspective, Mr. Corbis could probably have whipped the pants off any of his juniors in the software industry. But these companies just won't hire these guys...for any price.
For some reason the software industry prefers foreign talent and talent with less than a few years experience. I'm in a similar professional position as Mr. Corbis was, and the only reason I can see for this is they prefer people who are more controllable. It doesn't seem to be a matter of cost, because most of these people will accept a pay cut before becoming unemployable.
Mr. Corbis undoubtedly knew the ropes, and was probably viewed by potential employers as someone they could not easily push around. In my experience as a temporary worker, the foreign talent around me have been in mortal fear of the boss...and for that reason they are mightily abused. The bosses like that.
116
Software prefers younger and foreign talent because they can work them for longer hours and less pay. Not to mention that many of the foreign workers are Chinese of Indian, the two countriea where much software work is subcontracted. Whem contactor and sub are speaking thw same language, there is less of a margin for error and bigger savings in time and money. Purely profit seeking on the part of the top earners in a company. It really is as simple as that
13
My condolences to Geoffrey's family, especially his son. I hope he--and all the family-- find peace with a situation that IMO ultimately could not have stopped. I'm not sure that there is suicide prevention, but rather suicide postponement.
This article resonates with me, and I am sure many others. I have suffered from depression and anxiety since my 20's. In my 50's I was diagnosed with very painful physical ailments. I was forced, i.e., bullied, out of my job and my career at age 59. I simply could not take the stressors imposed upon me any longer.
I have very few family members and friends. All are at a distance, and keep themselves that way. My attempts to reach out have met with very limited success. I've had a great deal of mental health treatment, again with limited relief. Believe me, I have tried, and tried again. I have a little dog, and she keeps me going. Finally, I believe Geoffrey's last kindness after he made his decision was to end his life in public, and not in his home. Perhaps he thought this would be less traumatic for whoever found him. A very sad, and all too common set of circumstances. RIP Geoffrey. May angels sing thee to thy rest.
95
@Audrey I'm so sorry, Audrey, for your struggle, and I appreciate your honesty and compassion. Give that little dog an extra scratch behind the ears for me.
19
@Charlie Clarke--Thank you. And my dog will get that scratch behind her ears
2
@Audrey It is sobering how many people this article resonated with, including me. I have relatives who were bullied out of their jobs and it still makes me angry to think of it. I am glad that you have your dog and, clearly, your mental faculties and wisdom. Peace.
13
My deepest sympathy to the young son, sister and brother of Mr. Weglarz/Corbis. Suicide is the last option when people feel that they can no longer cope with the pain, suffering and indignity of this life. In a country with no real safety net, where everyone is judged by their work or lack thereof, it is understandable that he felt such despair. The NYPD did a dis-service to the family, but they could not prevent his death. The neighbors walking by that car for a week- heartbreaking. So many people living by a thread. "There but the grace of God, go I" - for those whose judgement seems both self righteous and harsh, there are many souls who cannot handle rejection from work, home, family and life. May he rest in peace.
21
Another excellent article/story/profile from "The Times" which records the decline and fall of American society.
As reflected by other Comments, this story is very commonplace in our present era and society. The way Mr. Weglarz went is the way that most of us Baby Boomers are likely to go. I, and most of my colleagues and peers were thrown out during the great telecom/tech meltdown. We never made a comeback. A good many of my friends, colleagues and peers have already pre-deceased me.
This story illustrates that the Police are the enemy of the American People. They do not serve and they do not protect. They only mindlessly make their rounds wasting the taxpayers money and collecting salary, benefits, retirement, etc. The entire American system is bogus and a sham and a scam.
We are a throw-away culture and society and that includes our lives. Technology, high-tech, has also advanced that process. Along with poisons, high tech is going to kill us all. Oracle is one of the worst and most evil high tech conglomerates.
The best part about the article is that it does inform us as to where/how we can obtain this euthanasia poison. For those of us looking for a way out, it is a good option. Except for the bad taste, which our minds can block out while swallowing, the poison sounds like an efficient, effective way to take oneself out.
18
A lot of valid comments to this story.
I remember a Robert Frost poem that deals with this subject and it ends with something like, "Provide, Provide, or someone else will and you may not like it"
6
Very tragic story.
On that note, the mis-steps by the police department have my head shaking. I also find it hard to believe that, when they tracked the phone call initially, they just went to the building that was nearest. In the age of cell phones, they need to look around the street and in the vehicles. Imagine if somebody was being kidnapped and phoned for help?
14
I can see how this story, tragic as it may be, is entirely possible, although incredibly unlikely. Many things had to occur, or not occur, for the ability to "hide in plain sight", without even meaning (or wanting) to. I feel very bad for his family. I, too, lost everything I owned (beginning in early 2015) in about 18 months. Since one of these things was my business, which I had co-founded in 1991 with a $10,000 loan (2 of us bootstrapped it), I was not eligible for unemployment insurance (by law, a business owner cannot receive unemployment), even though I had paid in tens of thousands of dollars to the State of New York for well over two decades without interruption. I am overqualified for almost any job even remotely related to my skill level. Last but not least, the first apartment I rented when I moved to New York City in 1988 was (you guessed it) located on East 12th Street, less than one block from where Mr. Weglarz was found. Again, you have my sympathies.
41
To Mr. Weglarz family -- I am so sorry. I have a lot of suicide and suicide attempts in my family including a beloved younger brother. Please focus on all the good things you remember and all the good things he did in his life. It helps.
34
Anyone living in NYC knows that a body could easily sit in a car for week without anyone looking inside it and _especially_ when the windows are tinted. The article goes on and on about that one point but no one is going to look inside a car in NYC unless one has a reason to.
61
In American corporations are important, people are not.
81
The EEOC needs to get serious with these new tech start-ups. They have NO right to get away with constantly violating the laws. If something is not done about illegal age discrimination in Tech, there are going to be many more stories like this. But they will be weekly, until they are common.
32
So sad. What in the world was he thinking to leave a job with no other position waiting for him? In addition to a tight job market, age discrimination is all too real.
19
Missing persons is the lowest priority of any police department. They don't really care and people usually show up without any effort on their part. If the missing person is most probably dead, there is no urgency to find them. Teenagers run away and become homeless prostitutes and/or drug addicts. It's just another day in the big city. Solve your own problems.
7
the economy and the safety net -- an american story
30
Ageism should be the next metoo.
211
@heinrich zwahlen - yes! for some strange reason, younger people do not believe they will ever be older - acting as though advanced age is somehow a sign of a flawed character.
Yet, we are all on the same conveyor belt, going the same rate of speed - in a random, accidental order. Yes, I may be older than you, it does not mean I am slow, or stupid, or technologically incompetent, or have not had valuable experiences. I am holding my breath to make employment last between now and actual retirement vs forced.
11
@heinrich zahlen And remember women have a lot less saved because they are paid a lot less than men.
7
Those who didn't know Mr. Weglarz/Corbis will at least know that this kind of story can be expected to become more frequent as the suicide rate climbs and people are left without any means of continuing their lives when they send out 481 applications (as in the story) for work without result. Would he have lived longer if he had kept his last job with frequent trips to Texas? Perhaps not - it might have driven him to the same plan. I myself went through the same calculation about 30 years ago and decided the old saying still goes - "work to live, not live to work". Time marches on in the wonderful world of high pay and desperate poverty, side by side.
38
As long as our safety net is going to be dismantled further, would it be too much to ask that people not be thrown away so soon in their lives by prospective employers? Or failing that, maybe some kind of orderly, respectful system be instituted for helping elderly people (say, 60 or above as in this case) to move on to the "next level"?
22
Very sad story in every way.
Though I live in a much smaller town, I always observe any vehicle that parks near my house, and ask drivers who idle or linger whether they need help. Sometimes I get down on myself for being a nosy neighbor. But a story like this reaffirms my instincts.
17
@Kathy sounds like you are a caring person, to me!
5
Well written, but depressing. Reminds me of the story a few months ago about the guy that died alone in his apartment.
Sadly, people do not save. If he had just put aside a little every year, he would have been OK.
5
@Sparky Jones: You have absolutely no idea whether he did or whether he could have done so. I know that, in the face of tragedy, people seek to distance themselves by pointing out how it could not happen to them. But it is unseemly to make this sort of assumption about another person's life, implying that his bad situation was his own fault. You don't know, and you should not guess.
13
What makes people think he was ever rich? He might have lived in a lower middle class part of Fairfield (New Milford, Danbury). If he had lived in Darien or Westport, it would say so. Most of the expensive homes in CT are Tudor and not Victorian. Victorian homes are built upward because of small land plots. Tudor homes spread out. Or that's my understanding of things. Victorian means three stories of small rooms. Tudors usually have a vast hall on the first floor. Anyhow, I think this guy fell from the middle class. He probably leveraged himself while married. I do not think he was living in a mansion on Round Hill Road and sending his kids to Choate. His suicide is still sad, but it's not some fable about the fragility of class in America. He probably was never more than middle class.
4
Some people are spinning this sad story with anti-police, anti-big tech sentiments. I don't see it that way. This man needed to change much more than his name to SAVE himself from himself. Those traits that led him to treat another human being at McDonalds like an animal no doubt played a role in quitting a promising job over a percieved slight of: "at best, a lateral transfer" ... in 2007, no less! we all have our inner deamons - anger, arrogance, narcissism, impulsiveness, etc. The police will not preotect you from them. The workplace is not required to accommodate nor tolerate them. The tragedy is that he got into that car with poison, not that he couldn't be found easily after that.
70
@ky True
A man can certainly slip into the depths when he can't care for his family anymore and loses his dignity....that can also be a dangerous man.
I've never been there, by the grace if god, but it can happen to anyone.
He seemed like a good man, this story will haunt me.
31
A sad story. Meanwhile, the current generation of software designers are lost, seeking, and in need of, ethics:
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/21/opinion/who-will-teach-silicon-valley...
I'm sure Mr. Weglarz could have helped.
20
What a sad, sad story.
And shame on NYPD for being so obsessive about rules that they missed the point about law and order and, especially protect and serve. My G-d, it’s bad enough that they didn’t respond immediately, especially since the public is as often told that the report must be made to the municipality where a crime or death took place (in this case NYC); but the fact that NYPD insisted on receiving a fellow police department’s report and request for assistance by email only, and actually received but then rejected the faxed request is an outrage.
A call for help is a call for help, regardless of whether it is by voice, text, fax, hand written note, typed letter, sign language, gesture, email, or scrawled in blood. And when someone is in danger, whether from self or others, every minute counts. Whoever rejected this family’s call for help, and even more
so the first request from their police department, should be reprimanded.
And for the hundredth time, the NYTimes should publish the contact information for local and national suicide prevention and crisis hotlines as a pro-forma part of all articles that include reference to suicide, let alone those, like this one, that focus on it. Doing so really could save lives of those at risk and inform family, friends, and neighbors what to do if they believe someone is suicidal — for example, if they reveal to you that they have purchased poison or other deadly thing.
18
I am semi retired and work as a contractor in aerospace occasionally. I have sat through numerous meetings during which the company shills blathered on about how we are a "team" working as a "family" and how we should have undying loyalty to a organization that will toss anyone out the door if it meets their needs. To many companies loyalty is a one way street. I give thanks every day that my livelihood is not dependent on these self centered, uncaring jerks. I love watching the look on their faces when I announce that I have had enough of their corporate hypocrisy and leave for another protracted vacation.
People need to understand that their bosses and the company they work for don't care if you live or die.
284
@Paulie They do care if you die if you have company paid life insurance!
4
@Paulie
Well, given that for our president loyalty is also a one way street, I don't think I'd be looking for any change any time soon.
4
@Paulie
Beautifully said. Don't go to the light. Don't drink the kool aide. Business, management, capitalism, hypocrisy. The new old is over 50. Now in my 70's I can still remember hearing my parents admonishment to respect my elders.
In today's society, experience magically disappears at age 50, put a fork in them, they are done. Under 30, "brilliant" is the new capitalism. Funny, when these under 30's hit 40, they likely will have become the new definition of old/not energetic enough, useless. Stick a fork in them. Capitalism, hypocrisy: the unsettling drivers of our "great" society that is on the edge of the rails.
8
I can only imagine the grief of those who knew and loved this man, grief and frustration at how their reports were handled. It often takes a tale of wrong turns and missed opportunities to illustrate how easy it is to fall through the cracks in a system designed to spring into action when a crime is reported, but moves in a much more aimless and sluggish fashion when a case of self-harm is reported. It also illustrates why we should not dismiss the importance of having a circle of friends and/or family who are on the ground locally and can spring into action when your welfare is in question.
On a separate note, how we value ourselves and how we are valued in corporate America are two wildly divergent assessments. Ageism is just one facet of how dismissive companies are of what you bring to the table. If you are middle-aged or beyond, many will view you as being on the downward slope of your career. You may think you are at the peak and have lots of options, but they see us through a different lens. I would implore you to assess your life very carefully before leaving a job in a huff because you think you are worth more. Especially in case of a merger or acquisition like in this story. Your value will not be the same after a merger and in the inevitable churn that happens, you may get churned right out the door. Mr. Weglarz chose to leave himself, for a job that turned out to be a poor match for him. What a fateful choice it was.
16
I wish some of these un-employed "old" IT guys were near me to fix my always cranky Windows computers! These guys were into computers from day one; they know everything---or where to find the answers. They could work out their home, make house calls, advertise for free on Craig's List, earn tax-free cash, and make a lot of people happy---especially themselves.
21
I recall years ago driving by a man lying on the sidewalk near LaGuardia Airport in Queens, obviously in distress. As I began to look for help, I noticed a police car arrived on the scene , so I continued driving past. Months later, I read a newspaper story relating to the incident I had witnessed. It turns out the man was a retired military guy who had fallen dead from a heart attack on that street and could not be saved. The key point of story, however, was that in spite of having full ID on him, his family was never notified of his death and months later, as he was about to be placed in a pauper's grave on Hart Island, someone finally got around to notifying his family. Note this was MONTHS later. The bureaucracy and anonymity of life in the Big City will always take a toll.
37
I wa fired at the age of 52 as a result off my mishandling of a boss who was a malignant narcissist. At the time I was also dealing with my mother in the end stages of Alzheimer’s. I am a lawyer who had good references, but was 52 and had been fired. Unlike others I had saved a nest egg. I lived off the income, only $22,000 a year until I hit 66. I was eligible for food stamps, but never applied because I felt it was wrong when I had a nest egg. My social security payments were diminished because I had failed to contribute for 14 years.
Medical insurance premiums were $1,200 a month, so I had no insurance, relying on my excellent health. Then when I was 61 a doctor’s malpractice resulted in a severely damage nerve in my pelvis. As a result, I experienced hideous pain controllable onl by opioids. I can’t sit and became semi-bed ridden. There is light at the end of th tunnel, medically speaking, but this requires the implant of a device in my back and pelvis. The device costs $60,000 ! Thank God for Medicare.
Why did I relate this sob story? People have a natural tendency to think that bad things only happen to other people. Someone 30 years old reading this thinks “She probably deserved to be fired and “I go to good doctors, my life won’t be ruined by a grossly negligent doctor.” WRONG.
Because people think that they are immune from misfortune, they don’t save. No matter what you do, you could save 10% of your gross income to savings beginning from your first pay check.
266
@Bathsheba Robie There are lots of us who understand what you went through and realise we are just one step away from disaster.
14
@Bathsheba Robie: That brings us to what we Baby Boomers & the Greatest Generation were told. Do your best, raise you kids, as many as you can have, your country needs them. Don’t bother saving, we your government will do it for you. When you retire your SS checks will be there, your Medicare will be there. The Boomers were the last to believe it, & the first to have it fail. Mostly because Congress has been embezzling from those Trust Funds since their beginnings. Over $3Trillion now & counting. What did they do with it? Whatever their lords & masters (filthy rich) told them to. The Greatest Generation sneaked through. Only a handful left now. But, Boomers believed, SS checks have not grown over the years as promised. DC blames us for taking out too much, when actually we put in enough for both our parents & ourselves, IF congress hadn’t stolen it (embezzling IS stealing you know).
11
@Bathsheba Robie
"People have a natural tendency to think that bad things only happen to other people."
That is exactly what you did, when you chose to rely on your 'excellent health."rather than purchase health insurance.
"Because people think that they are immune from misfortune, they don’t save. No matter what you do, you could save 10% of your gross income to savings beginning from your first pay check. "
How is it that you walked around without health insurance,
"relying on your excellent health", and ended up needing
a $60,000 device, but don't see the risk that you took because Medicare is going to pick up the tab?
You had written that you lived on $22,000 a year. so that device would have eaten up a little under three years' worth of income had you needed it prior to becoming eligible for Medicare.
I'm trying to figure out how it is that you are lecturing others. have written that "people have a natural tendency to believe that bad things happen to others." and "believe that they are immune from misfortune". when that is exactly what you did.
5
Sad! R.I.P. Mr. Weglarz! I'm not questioning his state of mind, however he could have gotten a job at Home Depot, Whole Foods,
( not Apple ), Trader Joe's or somewhere for a few years until his SS kicked in and had a meager but healthy existence somewhere.
He evidently was smart, attractive and had multiple skill sets. Unfortunately he was on this collision course and maybe it was a matter of time. Oh by the way, I've been to the 2nd Fl of B&H several times to sell equipment. They were a saving grace at times!
I hope his son is going to be ok and wish him the best of luck!
19
@Max de Winter
I agree that Mr Weglarz might have accepted the facts of his financial situation, downsized and gotten a retail or domestic job. An unemployed friend of mine in his 60s recently moved from NYC to Iowa, buying a house there for $130,000. Many other musician friends have moved to rural areas to reduce their expenses to affordable levels. Accepting reality and downsizing would set an example for Weglarz' sons on how to deal with adversity.
Mr. Weglarz' suicide is profoundly selfish and disrespectful to his sons. It's likely they will never recover and be scarred for life. I hope the family can help the sons with the unconditional love and support that their father should have provided.
9
@misternl Mr. Welgarz' death will affect his family and son profoundly but there's no need to make it sound like they "will never recover" and "be scarred for life." In fact, the default for the majority of people -- no manner the challenge -- is they will overcome them and go on to live meaningful, happy, and productive lives. I'm not being a Pollyanna here: this is based on research and certainly comports with my experience taking care of chronically and seriously ill people. For example, people who become quadraplegic are not necessarily resigned to a life of depression and struggle.
I hope the family will seek out resources directed at familial survivors of suicide and counselling if they need it. There are some groups out there specifically for children.
Also why people commit suicide is very complex so please do not accuse him or being selfish or disrespectful to his son. In some cases people -- rightly or wrongly -- believe they are relieving their families of a burden. You and I also don't know anything about his relationship to his son.
@misternl: Wow. Calling someone who was in severe pain "selfish." You don't know how insurmountable his problems seemed or were. (Remember, he had to stay where he was because of shared custody.) I think it is you who should be ashamed.
From a Single mother of two daughters, whos husband walked out- I had my grain of Faith in God to help me survive thru an unfortunate experience. You have to have your Faith to go thru Life. Thru it all; Powerful human emotions, extreme life situations and an intense cold world. Not everyone finds help or a hand of support when in most need. Everyone has a gap of vulnerability where, alone, one can not fulfill. I pray for Mr. Weglarz family. Silent desperation should be the loudest of voices, crying out for help. I hope we are able to hear.
16
This is capitalism raising its ugly head in the center of all capitalism - the NYC.
Now check a few things out.
The protector of people in a capitalist society - the NYPD - failed.
The media and the search engine - search results after the publicized encounter in McDonalds - exacerbated the downfall. (They certainly didn’t help.)
An acquisition started it all.
A travel a week for corporate requirements contributed.
The man was broke, and likely died hungry. So much for a safety net, for a Senior Director, for crying out loud.
All life in capitalism is vulnerable. Left to market forces, and with increasing life spans, chances are that tragic suicides will only increase. Likely, by a lot.
47
@Vsh Saxena Suicides in the U.S. are up 30% over the last 10 years or so.
9
@Vsh Saxena not perfect, but you should check out Venezuela, where they abhor capitalism!
4
Certainly this is a sad story. The consensus among commenters appears to be that this man was a victim of circumstance, or else of American society as presently constituted. I tend to disagree. Most of his problems were of his own making. It's quite true that older workers have a hard time finding jobs, but in many cases they are simply aiming too high, expecting to have jobs and incomes that match those they had in their thirties, forties, and early fifties. The world doesn't work that way for most of us, however. Had this man been a better planner and goal-setter in terms of his own life, and had he behaved more circumspectly, he could've managed quite well. He was an educated white middle-class male -- a tremendous life advantage that he basically frittered away. I'm sorry, but my sympathy is muted.
9
@Jon Harrison Regardless of the "poor decisions" that anyone makes or how responsible they may appear to be for their problems, the response should not be "oh well, do better next time". We only see the externals of an individual's life and without knowing those pieces that may not be visible even to that individual, the harshness of judgment should be eased.
40
@Jon Harrison Easy to blame the victim.
13
@Antoine
victim of what? That's what we're questioning. It's easy to blame the world for one's own mistakes.
2
What Mr. Wilson has presented here is the final chapter of a discarded man's life, and blaming the Police for taking a week to find a death that has been years in the making is missing the point.
Whether as a consequence of divorce, unemployment, child separation, or any combination of the three -- the prospects for recovery for men like Mr. Corbis / Weglarz are not promising. What stories like this reveal is that at its core, American society is brutal, selfish, and harsh.
Mr. Corbis had lost literally everything -- including his name; with his options seemingly exhausted, it seems that proof of any hope was extinguished when his last check could not be cashed.
How is it that any individual with so much promise and who played by the rules could fall so far, so fast? It can happen because divorce is about entitlement, not reality; child custody is about money, not time; and employment is about cost and relevance, not skill and experience.
Mr. Weglarz adopted another name to reinvent his life after the good one he had was lost. The tragedy of 'Mr. Corbis' is modern-day cautionary tale of how close any person can come to the breach.
Rest in peace.
192
I completely understand how and why he made this decision. For decades he existed happily and then suddenly, he believed he was nothing. He disappeared, except for the body. Professionally and financially wiped off the board at this stage in life is difficult. It sounds trite, but perhaps a little cabin and some dogs as companions are a recipe for a long life, or at least one that does not end so tragically.
42
Great comment. Especially the part about the cabin and the dogs. :)
7
@MSW Unless the loneliness and isolation of a rural cabin trigger an even deeper despair. And a person with such a hair-trigger temper that he is arrested for having a hissy fit over a fast-food order is not an ideal dog owner.
11
This story is what the United States of today is like. Total self focus and no sense of community with strangers. How many symptoms do we have to see to understand how far we have moved away from being a civilized society?
55
What a sad demise. People simply live ONLY for themselves, have no compassion for others or can help others to prevent such incidents. Middle class dilema is they simply have no way out with a second plan or source to depend on during rainy days.
5
I once worked for a company that had a big push to "institutionalize" its larger accounts, basically making sure its top performers couldn't walk away with the business.
My boss at the time told me he would pretend to go along with that push, but that he would never give up the relationships with the big customers because that was the only leverage he had to keep his job as he got older.
Wise man.
He worked until he decided to retire and managed a good buyout.
So, for those of you who are younger, take the sad story in this article to heart. It happens more often than you know.
65
This country is hard on people. We think of ourselves as a good and generous society, but our public policy reflects this less and less.
We valorize winning here, but the reality is that not everybody can win. And life here has so many pitfalls and risks, and instead of maintaining the social safety net, we try and further reward winners and punish losers.
Is this the country we think we live in? Is this the country we want? We are the richest country in the history of the world, and we can do better. I just don't know if we will.
56
@George Peng you hit the nail on the head.
1
Why wasn't he noticed sooner? Look around. Most people wander the sidewalks with eyes glued to their phones, hoodies on tight, ear buds in....The cops are busy trying to manage all forms of human behavior. This person wasn't behaving. He was dead...eventually found and cremated.
8
forgot to mention he had a loaded glock in his waistband when he threw that bag of food at the mcdonald's employee. Guy was a potential danger to others. glad no one else was hurt in the end.
7
@sue
Big rush to judgement.
4
Words fail me....scary! That could be me.
13
Though a tragic suicide and failure by the NYPD and the city to find him. He did voluntarily leave two jobs, that I'm sure were well paying. One was a lateral move and another required travel, both may not be a dream job come true but it was solid employment. He left because he felt he deserved more or over estimate his market value, at middle-age you can have an ego especially in the IT industry.
7
I can't imagine being desperate and needing to rely on the NYPD. What a horrible experience that must be. I once saw an elderly man collapse on the street in the East Village and noticed an NYPD car half a block away. I ran to the car and explained what I had seen. There were two cops in the car and the one in the passenger seat responded: "Yeah, we're just going to drop our sandwiches and run right over there!" and they both laughed uproariously. Basically their attitude is, if the mayor won't let us brutalize minorities we won't do our job at all.
18
Two words: universal income.
17
@Brian A. Kirkland Two more words: GOP
Heartbreaking. This is the reality in the U.S., despite all the blather about "optimism" and "land of opportunity" -- especially if you're over 50. God only knows how many more people like this are out there.
53
They say that someone who talks rationally - almost matter of factly - about killing them self, AND makes actual concrete plans, is the one most likely to follow through on it. Telling your family that you bought a vial of poison and keep it with you for the 'right time' sounds pretty concrete to me.
Add to that someone going through prolonged personal or financial difficulties, and it's kind of surprising to me that his family didn't do more to help.
I suppose in the end if someone is determined to it, there's only so much people close to them can do.
5
Common to many of the Times picks is job loss at 50. It's not just IT. I did at 49 (9/11!) and at my 25th wedding anniversary. With great luck, in three years and temporary employment in between, I found a good job at half the income. My spouse made up the difference. What will happen to today's generation when both spouses are working? See Mari's comment.
9
As I have learned the hard way, don't quit your job until you have another one locked in.
16
@Suzanne Wheat
And don't get fired, either. Right?
24
My sympathies to the Weglarz family. This was hard and sad. I am sure many of us care.
I found myself struggling too, with America in general..decline.
12
My heart goes out to his family--and to his memory. The two standouts of this story are the crushing insanity of competent, talented older people who can't get hired and are drowning financially which should not happen. Ever. And the incompetence of the police. At this point, from my perspective, the police in this country only do two things: assault and/or murder people of color (and then lie about it) or are just plain incompetent. This should have NEVER gone down this way. Shame on the NYPD. Shame on them.
16
Quite a story of a callous, dehumanized society. One wonders what forces a human being to see suicide as the only way out. One can blame the unique attitudes of New Yorkers, particularly those in the five boroughs who live a daily and extenuating rat race for 30 plus years, and then die. But that would be an incomplete explanation. It is our economic system.
I moved from the city many years ago and I have never regretted it. I too succumbed to the illusion of success, thinking that a high-paying job would define me as a human being. It wasn't until I saw friends face the reality of chronic unemployment, mental health issues, despair and loneliness, and take extreme actions, just as Mr. Corbin did, that I opted to leave that corrupting environment. As I waited for a flight to Texas I heard a group of young men, newly hired college graduates, celebrating their good fortune at being hired by the various Wall Street firms. I wondered how many ended up the same way Mr. Corbin.
Unfortunately, the same attitudes are taking hold in Texas. Time to move.
11
Yes, this is tragic. And so is attempting to suppress voters, takeaway health care for preexisting conditions, separating thousands of children from their parents at the border, removing the rights of LGBT people, disrespecting a woman's right to make decisions about her own body, removing regulations on air quality,
and hundreds of other things that this government thinks of as "getting things done." VOTE VOTE VOTE
42
@ne ne na
This happened in a completely Democratic run city.
6
@Froat
Your point is? What city are you speaking of?
1
I'm 52, work in IT and was laid off 3 1/2 years ago. I received 8 months severance (after working for the company for 18 years) and during that time applied for over 300 jobs. I received 11 phone interviews, 4 in-person interviews, and 0 offers.
A few months after my severance ran out my original company hired me back as a contractor - for less money. For those who don't know how contract jobs work, the benefits are worse, there are no paid holidays and no paid vacation. In addition to that, to limit their legal liability, the company maxes out the contracts at 18 months. So work for 18 months, then a 3 month unpaid 'cooling off' period, then they can bring you back for another 18 months. I'm into my second 18 month stint, for which the contract firm decided to lower my hourly pay rate by 15% despite excellent job ratings and glowing reviews from clients.
So you might not blame me if I say that I'm not too crazy about capitalism at this point. And except for the other poor saps in my position who've been brainwashed into believing that it's their own fault, I'm not alone.
632
Save every cent you can while you can.
13
@Mikeweb Let's call it, "Late Stage Capitalism." True, capitalism created more wealth for more people than any other system in history. Now, however, that system is working to concentrate that wealth in the hands of the very few.
46
M, that is truly exploitative of your employer though I assume it is "legal" according to current law.
It should be against the law to hire a person back for same duties -- at lower pay and no benefits.
24
Admittedly I was quite naive about ageism in the workplace. I do work with several employees who are nearing retirement and our office has brought in mostly young people however several are seasoned professionals.
I have a cousin in NY who lost his job at a Midtown ad/marketing agency last year. At 53 he is having a tough time getting employment in his field at a comparable level experience and salary. In speaking he revealed he is part of a support network of professionals with similar age and experience. The number one takeaway of our chats is that ageism is real despite all the crowing about the economy.
I make sure to stay in frequent contact with my cousin in part to keep his spirits up because reading this story is a harsh reminder of how desperation and depression can easily and rapidly materialize.
116
[[Traffic officers looking for violators on street-cleaning days — on East 12th Street, those days were Tuesday and Friday — routinely ignore vehicles when the driver is sitting inside. Mr. Weglarz’s vehicle received no tickets on the Tuesday or Friday when it was parked illegally, suggesting an officer might have seen him and assumed he was just another idle driver.]]
That makes no sense. If the idea is to clear the street, then you go knock on the window and ask the driver to move along. The job of a traffic officer isn't to look the other way, it is to generate revenue by ticketing offenders. And generally speaking, these officers aren't hired because of their critical thinking ability or for their compassion. They enjoy wielding the power of their ticket book.
19
@Third.coast It does make one think one should just go sit in your car during street cleaning so you won't have to move it around...
3
Many comments mentioned our healthcare system and help for one's mental health. I have known several people with mental health issues from mild depression to thoughts of suicide. People do not volunteer to seek help, as a friend or relative you must intervene and take them to a clinic etc. Also you need to check on them in person and by phone.
21
@Wendy
Why should we be labeled mentally ill when we openly speak of our planned suicide? What law is there that would allow a friend, relative -- or volunteer -- to drag us off to a clinic?
Shoo!
4
Very sad ending to a man who lived a meaningful and purposeful life. Mr. Weglarz’s story, however, is not unique. There are so many talented (particularly older) people who have been cast aside by our callous cut-throat society. In America today, we are all disposable. And any of us (with the exception of the uber-rich) could find ourselves in the exact same dire situation. My heart goes out to Mr. Weglarz’s loved ones as they continue to grieve their deep and profound loss.
84
One thing that comes to mind is the importance of unions. My friend was laid off from IBM in his fifties after more than 20 years. He now works for NYC Department of Information Technology. He is a Civil Servant and is a member of a union that protects him from random firing or other job loss. His pay is close to his former salary at IBM.
Highly qualified tech workers need to fight for unionized workplaces so that they can maintain their jobs and dignity throughout their lives.
382
Tech “advances”—the lifespan of the “in” coding language is ten years at best, and most of that can be taught in 3-year trade schools in third-world countries for export; viz., H1B visas. One is “old” by one’s mid-30s. Planned obsolescence for profit—the endless upgrade cycle + younger computer serfs who know the latest computer language.
13
@Diana
Of course, the republicans--and their masters, the Kochs et al--are doing everything they possibly can to destroy unions.
12
@Diana
I am a member of a state union. God bless the union!
10
A perfect storm. Lack of a social welfare safety net to catch older workers combined with an adequate personal social network, especially for late middle aged men who so often define their social value as wage earners and providers.
In 1995, I had a friend who was in almost the exact predicament that Mr. Corbis found himself, and he too committed suicide. I was 37 at the time (now 60) with a great paying job/career, but I saw myself in my now dead friend. Meaning, I could see myself years into the future facing the same situation at the mercy of my own unemployability being a late career, late middle aged man, and seeing the world as no longer having a use or place for me in it. In 1997, I left my career voluntarily and charted a totally new course, a complete reinvention, as a result of my friends suicide, so that I could avoid my friends fate in the future. It was very hard to voluntarily leave a great career and pay, but when I read this story, as painful a reminder that it is, I did not let my friend's death count for nothing.
172
I am so sorry to read about this story this morning. I knew Geoffrey, if only briefly, a while back. After he lost his job he was trying to start his own video company and he shot some video of me (cooking videos). He came to my house. I spent the day with him working on the videos. I didnt keep in touch with him after that, and it is very sad that his life ended so prematurely.
699
Seems no one sees that the most tragic and frightening issue of all is that Mr Corbis/Weglarz was suffering from depression and that although it sounds perhaps like Mr Biagini’s outreach was kind and well intended, it wasn’t nearly enough.
Certainly when Mr Corbis told his sister about having obtained poison on the dark web, alarm bells ought to be going off especially if one knows a person who is already suffering some sort of loss - a job, a relationship, a death - not a healthy combination to add poison to these emotions.
Unfortunately there’s no guarantee of saving anyone and his family may have tried but for two siblings (of seven) referenced in the piece, it’s difficult to do a lot from out of state for someone suffering so much. Example: the biggest police department in the country has procedures for responding to out of state inquiries, it’s not a nationwide information service. NYPD is already taking care of about ten million people.
What’s essential, vital, are better and more accessible services at every level for mental health - starting in elementary school with simple mindfulness. Kids that learn how to cope young do better when they’re older. Families/friends need to know better how to support struggling loved ones. They don’t have to fix them, just make them feel heard/valued. It saves lives, offers hope.
A job doesn’t do that - it only pays a bill. Not until the underlying problems are fixed will a job or career flourish. So sorry for Mr Corbis.
15
@Colleen
A job “only pays a bill”?
In our society, most adults will not get fed if they do not somehow find a path to generate the money to pay for food. That’s not “just a bill.“
Yes, access to mental health supports is important. Even more important is access to food. Not to mention shelter.
See Maslow‘s hierarchy of needs.
21
In the U.S., the first question asked upon meeting is what does one do, and the answer is supposed to be a paid job that defines you, especially for white men who have the most opportunities. Even freelancers are at the mercy of the corporation. Artists who want to make a living at their art need to market themselves.
8
Dear ms. Lindeman & mr. Weglarz,
I am so sorry for the loss of your brother.
I have also lost my brother to suicide. There is a compassionate group of people, Survivors of Suicide, who can listen & offer support. They helped me keep going.
heartfelt condolences
1180
@Lee
I too lost my only brother to suicide. He was in his 50s also, worked in IT and was struggling with family and financial issues. He hinted at suicide once but I figured it was just some off-hand remark that people make when they are going through difficult times. How wrong I was. The guilt and sorrow I feel about that will haunt me until the end of my days on this earth.
38
A tale of how very thin (or non-existent) is the safety-net in the USA. This story resonated with me because I am practically the same age as Mr. Weglarz, was as rapt as he at the Apollo missions, and went on to a career in IT. When I was 50, I too was dumped by the company I had worked for for years - IBM. Luckily, I found another excellent job in IT with a bank in the UK - through a friend's network. There appeared to be little age-discrimination there - just a respect for good experience. As a joint EU (Irish)/US citizen, I was lucky to be able to start again, in a country where there is a real safety-net, and where getting sick does not mean bankruptcy. There is no way I will move back to the USA, the so-called 'country of opportunity', now that I am in my 60s.
2462
@Mari
I agree wholeheartedly, and can only wish I had dual residency. I would move to the UK in a heartbeat. I forgot to mention in my post I am a couple of years older than Mr. Weglarz (I was born in 1954). From age 12 through 14, I was a member of my local Astronomical Society. I was enraptured by all the space missions: Mercury, Gemini and Apollo. Regardless, back to your point: It is shameful that the United States has no safety net for people of this era, even if you have retirement funds (I had many), savings, etc. I have not had health insurance for over 3 years now, when I really need it the most. I am at my wits end.
54
@Mari In this country, you are "aged out", if you're 60, especially in anything technology-related.
32
@Mari the thng is: in the US you pay far less taxes than in Europe and you get less social protection.
38
This hit a little too close to home for me. I'm also 61. Live in Fairfield. In the IT business. Became unemployed the first time around 2014. Extremely hard to find new work. Unemployed again now and trying to strike out on my own. Businesses overall and IT in particular, don't employ a lot of folks our age, and the ones that are still working have been in the same job for years and are waiting for retirement. But trying to get a new job in IT in your late 50s/early 60s, forget about it. I guess we are the disposable commodity in a throw-away society in an industry that wants lots of young (and inexpensive) resources. I'm fortunate in that I saved enough along the way that we'll be ok, but I'm the exception. Mr. Corbis' story is a haunting tale of the times we live in.
1813
Grubs: I’m right there with you brother. Take care and G–d bless.
31
@Grubs Hey there, use your IT knowledge and get a Security certification like CISSP. Study the online tests and see where your strengths lie. Once I got my cert I've never been out of work. Started a great new job 3 years ago at age 62. Good luck!
33
@Grubs God speed Grubs. I'm 62 in high tech and luckily I've not been discarded yet. I agree with everything you wrote. Companies don't value experience, only money they have to spend.
25
This is so tragic, a person able to work and can't find work due to his age. And, he decides to end his life after countless rejections, no money and the shame of not working, of not being valued in the U.S. as an older worker. My husband is going through the same thing. He is an unemployed mechanical engineer, and the company he worked for closed its doors almost 3 years ago. He has applied to numerous jobs and heard nothing, and I am pretty sure it is his age. So, he works on the house, applies for jobs, rides his bike and tries to be positive in a country that ignores the older worker.
2011
@Mallory
He had two good jobs at Oracle and Dell that he walked away from.
21
@Mallory I am so sorry, Mallory. I think the country ignores workers of any age, to be quite honest. Anyone that is beneath a certain tax bracket, certainly. I am a soon to be 30 year old millenial that was forced to take unpaid internships since she was 18. to try to build some sort of resume, because all "starting positions" would require at least two years experience. It's a sham, and it's hard, it's demoralizing, it's grim.
44
@Mallory
The mental health concern of this man was in part a big factor. Mental health issues need to be addressed in a more friendly and less scary atmosphere. Speaking from experience, too often the family caregivers are the ones carrying this burden. Usually Alone!
Perhaps, studies need to be done to calculate the stress level that may cause or trigger a mental health crisis in a person. Certainly, his unemployed status was a main factor in his suicide but not the only factor. I have lived and known close family members who have tried to commit suicide due to their mental health. Resources to help families or individuals facing this kind of crisis are much needed. Family caregivers need to share in some of the funds being donated to scientific studies or programs in order to address the real social and economic aspects of the illness.
17
At 55, I lost my job of 33 years when I couldn’t pass my medical for a commercial drivers license. The regulations and enforcement by specialized doctors is now a large part of the drivers shortage the Times has reported on.
So here I am, reading this knowingly. I’m 56 now, and watching my savings fall. The despair is enormous. I thank god I was able to get my children into adulthood.
My COBRA runs out soon. Then what? I’m a disabled poor person with no medical at a time he needs it the most.
Please come to grips with the fact this country needs a form of socialized medicine. Thank God my parents were Canadian so I don’t have to die by my own hand. I can move to a civilized society that cares about its wage slaves when they get ill.
2841
Do you have family or friends you can talk to? Do you want to talk to me? I hear your message and I hate that you're going through this.
78
@bdmike I am so sorry. I hope you have investigated eligibility for social security disability and Medicaid. If those aren't a fit for you there is individual insurance on the exchange; if you are living off your savings or you income is limited you will be eligible for subsidies and it should be affordable. Best of luck to you.
39
@bdmike
I am in a very similar situation except I am a teacher. I was forced out of my position and am unable to find another. The applications are electronic and ask for number of years of experience... I have more than twenty. It seems that my experience is undervalued. Nine times out of ten the districts do not even respond.
I sold my house to pay off my student loans from my Masters degree, and I have moved in with my elderly mother. My family’s assistance has proven to be invaluable. COBRA is $400 a month which is difficult to pay with my two jobs (substitute teaching and retail) so as of yesterday I have applied for Medicaid.
It is disheartening at best...as well as humiliating.
88
Where is your now-standard footer? "If you are having thoughts of suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (TALK) ..."
37
@Michael Storch
I often have the notion of calling their number just to hear what they say. What could they possibly say?
4
People who kill themselves normalize it for others. I understand being desperate. I understand wanting to die. I even understand a young person taking that step because young people are fairly witless. But I can't understand someone with a child taking this route.
9
@Mary
In the suicidal mind, you are potentially doing your loved ones a favor.
11
@Mary The American psychiatrist, Karl Menninger, believed that three wishes could contribute to a suicidal act. It's referred to as the three wishes of the suicide: the wish to kill; the wish to be killed; and the wish to die. It is uncanny how often we see this dynamic played out on the nightly news police blotter.
2
Sad story. Incredible work by the reporter.
40
“It’s supposed to be ‘Protect and Serve,’” Ms. Lindemann said. “Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I couldn’t depend on a police department for help.”
I don't understand why Ms. Lindemann finds that so hard to believe. The cops don't care anything about someone who they can't shoot. An already-dead person presents no interest to them whatsoever.
21
I don't understand where his son was during all this.
5
@Mimi
The son is just 18 years old
3
@Margaret Brown - All the more reason for why he would be worried about his father, don't you think? I'm saying there may be more to why this man was so despondent and suicidal than not being able to find employment at an older age.
My heart breaks for Mr Welgarz and his family.
14
My first husband kidnapped the children for five days. I told the police, gave them the license number, yadayadayada. When the judge issued a bench warrant and he finally brought them back, it turned out that all week they had been going in and out of a business five doors down from the police station. I wasn't surprised. When I reported that he had threatened to kill me a few months earlier, the police said, "We can't do anything until something happens," like I'm dead, for example. In Greece, where I lived for a long time, police come by and have a chat if someone threatens another person, and after three threats, they get serious. Our definition of police work is too narrow, making life boring for the police and risky for communities.
264
After divorce, men even successful men are left devastated, without a wife, without their children and without money or assets and in most cases no future. Almost nobody cares to change both attitudes and the system. Men are left to kill themselves slowly or quickly.
32
@Asher All humans go through transitions, loss, and change. But men are in an especially vulnerable category and "can't go on?" Add this to the list of woes for this poor, disadvantaged group.
7
Typically, it’s the former wife whose living standard dips, unless she has been the breadwinner or has a high-paying job.
18
@Asher Not ALL men. My ex split everything evenly, and he almost immediately married his girlfriend. You sound seriously depressed. Please seek help. There are support groups out there for divorced men.
9
Looks as if the divorce was a decisive factor.
5
I still know older (over 50) professionals who can't find a job with Trump's "lowest unemployment since...(fill in the blank)". Something is not right with the employment narrative we are seeing.
323
@BillFNYC It happened under Obama too. Try not to make this sad story political.
9
Very sad story. I'm sorry for Mr. Weglarz and his family. Suicide is a devastating legacy for a family. I hope he found the peace he deserved.
12
This is solid reporting about a complicated and multi-layered matter.
It's also a reminder that when dealing with a large bureaucracy you better be on the ground and very persistent--and go look yourself.
21
The sad reality is that the lives of men in this society does not really matter. The sad fact is that men are not valued or respected. After a divorce I was left without a wife, without the hope ever of establishing another family, without my children, without almost any assets, and with years of financial liability hanging over my head like the Sword of Damocles. And in enduring threat and demands, humiliation, near poverty and loneliness, I have thought about being dead every single day. In the last twenty five years I cannot say I have even one happy memory to remember.
26
Asher, I just wanted to say that you are not alone. I wish you happiness and peace of mind my friend. May you obtain everything you need. I will keep you in my mind and in my prayers. Please take care
3
@Asher I am very sorry to hear this. Is there any way you can reestablish a relationship with your children?
@Asher All I can offer is a "please hang in there". I hope your children can offer you some happy moments to come.
1
This is a very sad story and it treads on so many issues: success and wealth, family, divorces, loss of wealth, depression, destitution and then suicide. The cycle for this man whom seemed to be outgoing and smart led to an untimely death. It's a lesson to all that life can come crashing down and depression can be very real and devastating. Sometimes the only way out is death - or so the suicidal mind would process it. His livelihood gone, no money, a broken family - and the saddest part is that he had a good friend, a brother and sister who cared, but he couldn't reach out - at least not enough. The world is a harsh place. We need to be kinder to people and to also listen carefully to our loved ones.
59
@LM
Before I can accept that life "came crashing down" on him, I want to know what his divorce decree stated insofar as child support and maintenance payments were concerned.
My suspicion is that it wasn't his life that came crashing down on him; it was the family law code of New York State, and possibly the devastating demands of his ex-wife.
What a heartbreaking story. But unfortunately one that is all too real. Sounds like the police couldn’t really be bothered, at best, they did the bare minimum. My heart goes out to his son and family.
13
Having lived near the 9th Precinct, within its jurisdiction, for close to 30 years I can relate to the family's frustration. I went in once to talk about phone harassment and they dismissed me so quickly and condescendingly I was dumbfounded. That they did little to help the family initially is of no surprise to me. Were the windows tinted maybe? Sad story of course, and unfortunate in so many ways. He made a choice - and friends and family have to live with that choice. The added elements of end of August, sitting in a car, the smell, etc. are added context and make a compelling article. Yet suicide happens every day, and it seems his family did have an inkling of some kind. Although i have siblings and friends that can exhibit 'dark humour' i am not sure i would dismiss the phrase 'I bought a bottle of poison'. No disrespect to the sister intended...elements of this story are just odd, and sad.
41
@Melanie A.
Not unsual at all for families who care for mentally ill loved ones. I have a sister whose favorite phrase is "I will kill myself." She says it all the times. Believe me, one time she was in a hospital when she said that she would kill herself, and she was discharged. I went to pick her up from the private hospital. She almost killed me and my dad on the way home.
When in fact she swallowed a bottle of her medication, noone believed her. I had to call an ambulance after talking to her boyfriend. It was for real this time. Had she gone to sleep that day as encouraged by my parents, she would not be alive today. The public needs to learn about drama related to people living with mental illness, not labels.
362
@Melanie A.
As a mental healthcare provider, it is infuriating at how little families can do to get people help. I had a floridly psychotic patient and I had him convinced to go get help getting the microchip in his brain removed. It took a long time to build up the trust to get him to agree.
The police team came to evaluate him. He knew them and they knew him. They said to me, you know he’s a drug user right? I said, “Yeah, a lot of mentally ill people use drugs.” I don’t actually remember if she rolled her eyes at me or not, but that is the impression i have of that memory. :)
He refused to tell them he was homicidal or suicidal, so they left him. I was so pissed, I called a few people, but of course legally each state is different and there was nothing I could do.
Someday I hope I can help create new, more helpful, laws. Until then, I hope your sister is safe.
3
@Melanie A.
I have a family member who for the last 16 years has talked about suicide--sometimes saying goodbyes, sometimes creating the circumstances to take action, etc. The first 5-10 times everybody sprang into action. After that, not so much.
Most of us in my family are tired of being put through the emotional wringer. Recently the family member threatened suicide again and I didn't bite. Then the family member disappeared for a couple days and I thought...oh my god, maybe it was for real this time. But, no. The person showed up again, business as usual.
I don't know the context of Mr. Corbis' life, but it is possible for a person to threaten suicide and not be taken seriously for a variety of legit reasons.
1
When will we learn that a public mental health system would benefit all of society in a myriad of ways?
A public mental health system - open doors, easily accessible, affordable - would help to reduce stigma and address mole hills before they became insurmountable mountains resolved by suicide.
My condolences to this family.
25
Add a safety net as well.
5
@Kelly
Such a goal will never be accomplished without the public 's real efforts for such change. The keep-my-distance attitudes or the hatreds need to be faced and discussed publicly. Right now, the patients or caregivers seem to carry most of the burdens of changing societal attitudes. The professionals talk about such change but little has changed in the 40 plus years. At 15 years old, I had to accompany my mom to hospitals and other appointments when a younger sister became mentally ill and hospitalized in Queens, NY.
Thanks Michael Wilson for this well written sad story ,It bought me back to the tales of so many New York City stories of lost souls of Manhattan in the time of Charles Dickens or later on the New Yorker's magazine Joseph Mitchell .
I of course can identify with the strange paradox of being lonely in a city of 9 millions people scripted by old age often as I push my ill wife around , I do notice that many people turn their faces as if seeing their own lives in that wheelchair as those that go overboard to help us.
Truly though we have friends and family ,we are both in that odd circumstance of not being noticed at home or even contacted once a week by anyone to ascertain if we are OK .
That is New York ,we are always on our own till we speak loud for help.
33
@Carlyle T.
I guess, I want to point out that a lot of people turn away their faces because they don't want to stare, and it's human nature to be curious about someone in a wheel chair.
3
@Camille
Yes it's 50/50 .
Many smile as we do look the sight , I can tell you a true story a man came up to my wife and asked if she" had the Steven Hawking disease" this city of my birth is very up front.
1
"They did not realize he was parked in front of a playground next to the address, 15 car lengths from that building’s entrance."
The officers couldn't have walked around a little bit and found this man? I wish I could find this surprising. The Cincinnati officers, that didn't bother getting out of their car or searching more than one lot, while a young man pleaded for help and eventually suffocated to death, instead complained that the students drove nicer cars than they did. When did this country become so cynical, so cold and uncaring? It's heartbreaking.
159
When were we NOT cynical, cold and uncaring?
1
I’m not too surprised no-one saw him in his car. If you walk past a line of parked cars and look inside, it’s hard to see much with the glass reflections and the increase in tinted windows. If you don’t think of looking, you’d never see anyone, especially someone motionless. Try it yourself. Add to that the number of people head down in devices. It’s not lack of care so much as the way we walk and the type of windows in cars. And even if was spotted, people sleep or work in in cars much more nowadays.
34
It is a hard story to read and does point out the difficulties of getting a job as we age. We get stuck in our vision of what we should be. Not everyone will be a high roller all their life. That is OK.
Flexibility can help. Right now there are literally millions of jobs in industries that did not exist 20 years ago. In home senior care is one of the fastest growing. My wife's company, founded 20 years ago at age 49 employs over 200 people 25% of whom are over 65 and 50% over 50. They come from all walks of life, including engineers and teachers, and love what they do with their clients.
When I used to interview professionals for jobs, one of my favorite questions was "If there were no constraints, what would you really like to do?" Often they were stunned; they had never considered that. The second act can be very fulfilling.
57
Yes, but my understanding is that most people who work in in-home senior care earn just the minimum wage or not much above it. This wouldn’t give one enough to keep paying a mortgage...
45
@Bruce Bender Your line "not everyone can be a high roller all their life" is so true. In fact, most of us aren't high rollers for any portion of our lives. What makes these situations so tragic is that the man had many good - every great - years, but it is hard to be tossed aside. Loss is what gets people, and then depression. He had a lot more success than many people, but depression makes all of that impossible to see.
16
@Bruce Bender
Oh my yes, I can just see a former high end tech worker with a house (& mortgage?) in CT taking job caring for the elderly in their homes in Mass. The pay and benefits are so good - for the owners of the company.
47
I too had to reinvent myself in 2009 at the age of 57 after losing my small business. Tough stuff.
140
You know those pesky regulations the new right wing judicial appointees and Trump appointees are removing? Mr. Welgarz's legion will grow. The Mr. Welgarzs of this country will be more vulnerable; less unemployment benefits, no healthcare, no mental health benefits and no recourse. When this "great" economy tanks, there is going to be untold suffering, especially in the 50-65 age range.
375
@H. G. Unfortunately, I have to agree with you. My biggest fear is a debt crisis in the US, engineered by those who want to "starve the beast" as an excuse to curtail Social Security and Medicare.
This man likely had 32 or 33 years paid into Social Security at a high wage. He had it better than most.
29
@H. G. I think if you are remotely headed for this age range - you need to research visa and work possibilities in other countries, consider family members you might combine households with, be thinking about businesses that do well in a recession, have some cash on hand, etc. You cannot count on finding another job in a recession if you are in this age bracket. Do not be blindsided. Winter is coming.
10
In a country where it's extremely difficult for older people to find employment, or even keep what they have, there are those mean-spirited politicians who want to raise the retirement age for Social Security.
At the age of 74, I'm lucky to have benefited from some early investments, Social Security, a small inheritance, help from a valuable, generaous friend, a fantastically productive wife, and the decision we made to live where our modest income enables us to live without struggling, in Mexico.
That rare combination of perks to me is indeed due to luck, one that most people cannot count on. What a sick place is the United States, that cannot even insure that its aging population can continue to live a decent life.
496
@Jerry Engelbach
I have just one small quibble with your comment: It is not that the United States CAN'T ensure that its aging population can continue to live a decent life.
It is that the United States, now completely dominated by oligarchs and corporations, WON'T ensure that its aging population can continue to live a decent life.
The U.S. has become a place where, if you are not wealthy, you are not worthy.
38
The main themes of this story are compelling:
An older worker deemed redundant by society and struggling without a safety net; a critical city agency unable to adapt to a need or provide basic customer service; and the tragic outcome literally being under the noses of passersby for a week.
But I am wondering what the missing pieces are. I am curious if mental health care is also worth mentioning. Reading between the lines, Mr. Weglarz seems to have worn through his personal relationships. Early in his career he pursued high-pressure, high-yield careers and had a large home in an expensive area. He responded violently to adversity in his life and when the police came to question him about the fast food incident, he greeted them with a gun tucked in his waistband. He ended his life through suicide. Was his continued unemployment due mainly to his age, or did he display unsettling personality traits during interviews? Was mental health treatment ever on his radar? Would he have been able to access it? Would it have helped? Sadly, we can't know.
230
@LE Richardson
"Was his continued unemployment due mainly to his age, or did he display unsettling personality traits during interviews?"
I'm left wondering the same. My father was also in Mr. Weglarz's position - once he lost his high-paying banking job at around 50 years of age, he bounced around at jobs that weren't a good fit for years before landing a government job which paid half of his former salary. My dad was irritable and depressed during those years, but he never lashed out on anyone in public as Mr. Weglarz did to the McDonald's worker. The lashing out incident makes me a bit less sympathetic to his plight - perhaps he had a sense of entitlement. That's not to say my father didn't.
The key stressor was my parents bit off more then they could chew in terms of a fancy McMansion which they eventually had to sell, although fortunately for them they did not take a loss and eventually were able to retire comfortably and with dignity. Sounds like Mr. Weglarz was in the same position in terms of an expensive home in an expensive area.
What did I take away from seeing my parents get knocked down a rung? My spouse and I live below our means and save dilligently - I will NEVER be house-poor. We both work in tech and know that we'll probably be kicked to the curb when we're in our 50's. I've taken my career in a direction where I can slide right into independent consulting when I inevitably need to go that route.
My sympathies go to Mr. Weglarz's son.
31
@LE Richardson This depressed & desperate man who lived through hundreds of job application rejections lives in a society which is also known for its lack of mental health care & treatment. That he carried a gun is hardly relevant in a society in which there is a "constitutional right" for the everyday citizen to buy an AR-15, whether mentally ill or not. There is nothing to suggest in this column that he was a "violent" man & posting such an unvalidated accusation does further harm to the memory of a man overwhelmed by the injustices of the corporate world within which he worked. As for your remark about his personal friends, one of the hallmarks of depression is to withdraw & to isolate. The shame of losing workmates & colleagues alone would have become grievous for him
It seems to me your conspiratorial questions are a good example of the social brutality Mr. Corbis was feeling in his final days.
22
Another person who wants to work, thrown into the trash heap by our capitalist society.
The US is a disgrace compared to Scandinavia, for example. We need a guaranteed minimum income, not keep shoveling money at the 1%.
658
@kat We need a federal job guarantee, not a basic minimum income scheme. People need a purpose, and there's plenty of work to be done in this world. The federal government, as the sole creator of currency, will always have the ability to employ people. Just think about it: when did we ever not go to war because we couldn't afford it? The answer is never. Expanded, improved Medicare for All, tuition-free college, a federal job guarantee -- all of these can be provided by our federal government because it is not dollar-constrained. It has at its disposal the vast human and natural resources of this country: let's make the government work for the 99 percent. Look up MMT (Modern Monetary Theory).
31
@kat
We need a lower population is what we need.
1
@Carla
"Look up MMT (Modern Monetary Theory)."
That was done in NYTimes several years ago.
Most called it "Communism." How'd that turn out?
I know several guys like the story's subject. Some started their own businesses. Others are doing Uber/Lyft. Some both. like the semi-famous actor at Trader Joe's.
It is, what it is.
I understand what he went through. I’m the same age as him and have experienced the same thing to an extent. This is another reason we should have a national healthcare system, maybe if he could have seen a doctor and been given treatment, he would be alive today. There seems to be an unspoken idea that if you don’t achieve a certain amount of success or run into problems in your life, you don’t deserve to live. That’s why we have no social safety net. Another thing I have found out is that your social security is based on your last five years of income, for many people like myself, having been an ironworker for forty years, those are going to be the worse. This man was much more successful than I have been and I’m sure that it made it much more difficult. The despair which was his daily life just became unbearable. People say that you lack courage if you commit suicide, I disagree with that, it takes a lot of courage to do something that goes against your instinct to live. I read all the time about the low unemployment rate, but since people like him and me and many others are not counted, you have to question the accuracy of those numbers. I think I will use him as an inspiration to start a Meetup group for older unemployed or underemployed people in my community to support each other, because what really kills you isn’t the situation, as much as the loneliness that comes with it.
719
@Timothy Phillips Your social security is based on the 35 years worked at your highest salary. The Social Security website will show you what you could receive depending on the age you choose to start drawing it.
54
@Bob Walters It's actually rather more complex than that, with add these, divide by that, then take x% of this and multiply by something else. Just like doing taxes! It's also based NOT on actual income but on the maximum amount subject to Social Security payments.
3
@Timothy Phillips Thank you for your message. I wish I could join a group like the one you described, and I wish you all the best.
13
I see this as a sad story of ageism in our youth-obsessed society. Hollywood actors get surgical procedures to make their faces ageless. When my brother was laid off a friend told him to buy a good toupee. When I was pushed out the door at 57 I started my own business and didn’t bother searching for work. The tattooed hipster I was working for couldn’t tolerate working with such an old man any longer. I’m not sure where it ends, just make sure you save a lot of money and be strong. I don’t think suicide is the answer. This gentleman left behind one very hurt son.
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And don't leave a job before finding a new one
51
America has the harshest, most uncaring and soul debilitating culture of any developed nation. There is no commonwealth. You're on your own when there is less and less to go around. Children, the aged and the infirm are all routinely cast aside. The health care system is a culling mechanism for waste people. Good luck won't do you any good when the odds are stacked against you this badly. Hello Donald.
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@Angstrom Unit You're correct. About half of this country lacks a genuine community spirit that isn't mired in money and racial superiority. The individualism that contributed to this country's success is now destroying it.
34
@Angstrom Unit
And the sad part is that there is plenty to go around. It's just that the 1%ers keep getting more than their fair share.
I am utterly amazed at what life in the United States of America has become. Now that the president has declared himself a Nationalist - and we know what adjective goes with that - we are teetering on the edge of an unrecognizable country. 2 more weeks. !!
VOTE!! Our lives DO depend on it.
11
Sometimes NYPD is so much like the Keystone Kops one is left wondering how they function.
Common sense and fundamental goodwill often seem to be short supply with management at NYPD, which seems to explain why they routinely employ Kafkaesque bureaucratic nonsense to avoid doing their job.
67
@Bill New York's finest, indeed. Dead people in the city don't count if they're not from NY. Don't fax us? Email? The NYPD should be embarrassed, and the precincts involved disciplined for criminal neglect.
19
@Bill
True. What was that statistic that Bloomberg used years back? If the NYPD was a standing army, it would be something like the 5th largest army in the world?
Also, it didn't occur to the officers who initially searched (or the dispatcher who sent them) based on the cell phone location that because they were given a nearest street address based on the signal triangulation that doesn't necessarily mean the cell phone is **inside that exact address**. Seriously, this is the kind of stuff you learn by watching actual police dramas on television.
Thinking truly is a lost art.
8
Such a sad tale and one that is oft told. Any industry that writes off people of a certain ought to be looked at long and hard. Discrimination pure and simple. My heart aches for this man and I don't even know him. My thoughts are with his family who must have been going mad not knowing where he was.
78
if the car was parked on alt.side parking then why didn't dept of sanitation take note when they did street cleaning...twice. Anyway, sad story and there are a million of them in The Naked City.
31
@ricci "Traffic officers who write parking tickets most likely passed by him at least twice, on days that his car was parked illegally. Officers looking for violators on street-cleaning days — on East 12th Street, those days were Tuesday and Friday — routinely ignore vehicles when the driver is sitting inside. Mr. Weglarz’s vehicle received no tickets on the Tuesday or Friday when it was parked illegally, suggesting an officer might have seen him and assumed he was just another idle driver."
1
I know but the sanitation guys in the truck usually honk to wake the driver to just move the car so they can clean the street - these crews work the same shift on the same streets all the time -if they honked on Tues and he didn't move after cursing, they would remember that car on Fri - that's when one disembarks the truck and taps on window ...I have watched this routine from my time-share park bench so...
This story says a lot about what it means to live in the richest country on earth.
812
@SpyvsSpy Yes..and I would put "rich" in quotes.
14
There is blantant age discrimination in software engineering. Men usually age out in their 50’s. For women, it is even earlier. Women age out in their 40’s.
290
@JAB
In education as well. Schools want young school teachers. Universities want young inexperienced professors. But mostly, universities only want to hire part time or temporary faculty. Then they hire lots of young administrators without any experience in positions that require good judgement. Their excuse: young faculty and administration relate better to the students. Really?
8
the US is the place where I felt the loneliest, even at a young age, I could go days without talking or meeting anybody. No wonder there are episodes of desperation like this or like crazy people going on a rampage and killing dozens.
Sad story. Sorry for the kid.
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@p. filippi Amen. We don't have an underlying rule of hospitality, which softens life elsewhere, almost everywhere in the world.
19
I remember coming back from my first trip to Europe many years ago having the strong impression that in Europe, human beings still matter. Here, it often felt and feels like money and celebrity are all that matters.
215
@p. filippi My wife's half of my family thinks it's crazy that I strike up conversations with strangers. I think their the crazy ones.
12
This brought tears to my eyes. Even in a hardened city like New York, how could so many have walked by the car and not seen someone inside? I am saddened and also scared. As an older person (late 50s) who has been self-employed and now is seeking employment, it is almost impossible to find anything. I'm in the true sandwich generation, caring for my elderly parents, one of whom is on hospice, and at the other end of the spectrum helping my teen with college applications. What is to be with us as we age? Most of us want to be productive, yet nobody wants to give us a chance. RIP Mr. Weglarz/Corbis.
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@Mensa
Ditto my friend
7
@Mensa
"Even in a hardened city like New York, how could so many have walked by the car and not seen someone inside?"
I don't think it was the lack of empathy of New Yorkers that caused this. I once received terrible, traumatic news as I was having lunch in New York, whiling away time before an evening flight. With no hotel room to run and grieve in, I broke down in silent tears at the restaurant counter where I was sitting. It took me a several minutes to collect myself but I will never forget the wonderful young woman sitting next to me who, she was leaving, gave me a big warm hug as and told me she hoped everything would be OK.
I don't know if she was an angel, but she was a New Yorker.
8
@Mensa
His car windows were tinted-that’s why no one noticed. That block is lively with kids and their caregivers going to the playground .
My sympathies to Mr Weglarz ‘s family
6
Three years ago, at age 57, my husband and I had to choose whether to follow his longtime employer in its move to a different state or stay in our home state and find new work. We decided to move so he could continue in his job. My husband was worried about his prospects if he had to seek new work at 57. This story drives it home; heartbreaking.
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@Kathryn What about your job? Was it easy to find another after the relocation?
5
So sad that he did not reach out to his siblings to tide him over and that he took poison in a parked car in Manhattan instead. Seems like this poor guy got publicity for all the wrong reasons (a fruitless job search) instead of the accolades he sought in life. I hope that his ex-wife and son will remember the good days and to find peace despite this sorry and notorious end.
19
@Mulberrysoots
But he did reach out when he told his sister about the poison. She should have got on the first plane to go to him.
3
@Mulberryshoots
People in this county seem because of it's stigmata of helplessness have been trained not to ask for money from friends or family ,it is a dark place that no one in need really chooses to even think about.
That same embarrassment is found in people knowing that someone can use their financial help not being at ease in
approaching that potential kindness.
6
Poor guy. Hard to have self-worth when the world keeps rejecting you and even more difficult to shed the stench of failure one feels emanates from them at every turn......especially when people you know are living what appear to be full lives. The advice given includes donate time and effort to a charity or just take any job....but a high powered executive like Mr. Corbis most likely can't believe he is living his full potential in a role like that....so he keeps trying. Awful. Imagine how low he must have been to take this final step. So sad.
43
That is sad that he just died of natural causes
@Felicity Huh? The sentence immediately following the mention of "natural causes" contradicts that presumption.
"The police later released the man’s name, Geoffrey Corbis, 61, of Bridgeport, Conn., and said he appeared to have died of natural causes about two days before he was found there.
None of those initial findings would prove true.
Not the cause of death. Not his name. And not the length of time the dead man’s body spent in that car."
8
@Felicity I'm not sure you read the entire article. Although the police initially said he died of natural causes, he actually swallowed poison. This was a suicide.
6
@Felicity - he killed himself
6
It's unfortunate that we are currently experiencing a society that does not value experience, creativity, and innovation. Instead, it's all about money and profits and employees over 50 are expensive. Most people think is the young who have ideas. Rarely. They do not have any experience and most don't even know what they want or can do. And then SS keeps increasing the retirement age to avoid paying benefits that workers paid through their lives. SS also have loopholes that started with Reagan to decrease payments.
Another issue this article illustrates is what I like about NYC: residents respect the privacy and personal space of others. But that culture can have its negative side. That is the reason why his body did not bring up anybody's attention for so long. It's unfortunate that many have to suffer this way out of a frustration that leads to anger and despair. That is why he threw that sandwich at the food employee.
This sad story is the result of a culture that increasingly expects ultimate success and perfection from everyone.
103
Tech industry is very unforgiving to older and experienced workers. HR departments exist solely to give management a legally justified way of firing or laying off older workforce with no implications and not to monitor the health and well being of the work force. With no pensions and health care, exhausting savings is very easy when coupled with unforeseen life events such as Divorces, market crashes and recessions.
Every time I read such events, I always feel whether folks doing well, feel how fortunate they are. Not just hard work but it requires one to have luck on their side to support family, children's education, build savings and simultaneously not be affected by health, recession, job loss during the crucial parts of their life to be able to retire. So don't ever think it is someone's fault that they did not do well, but be thankful that we are doing all right.
RIP Corbis.
160
So sad.
4
Everybody that plays mega millions or Powerball should read this story.
Money doesn't bring happiness.
You hear about plenty of these rich types ending this way but you don't hear about too many blind people committing suicide.
3
@Paul
In the story it explained that he struggled financially which contributed to his depression.
45
@mwells-Thank you for your reply. People who do not win the big lottery or are not from rich homes are much less likely to do this if they run into financial trouble.
That is my point.
1
We have moved into a throw-away society. Everything became disposable, including people. There is no reason to believe this man could not have offered value to an employer in his field. Why because he is older that its assumed he has lost his edge, or has not kept up with the technology. This will happen to everyone, everyone out there.
We see already in our disposable society the damage this has done to our environment, now trying to reverse the course with companies dropping the use of straws, plastic bags, etc. Let's rethink the need to hire "young", especially when/if the young are not interested in the 9-to-5. Such a sad story of a man, just trying to be relevant.
203
You can’t underestimate the impact of the McDonalds incident. Our society is brutally unforgiving, and the web documented his mistake forever. Changing his name was an act of futility - all his work experience was in his old name. A sad, and very cautionary tale.
392
I am shocked at how, in this instant and viral world, a non thinking reaction by a stressed out person can make the news cycle even frequently replayed in the ‘nightly news’ cycle, becoming entertainment fodder for the masses, a few of these stories carried by the nyt....I’m not speaking of serious acts, but rudeness that becomes headlines before the perpetrator perhaps has an opportunity to apologize or appropriately redress the situation with a cooler head or manner. I’m not supporting throwing food through a drive thru or know the entire story but it seems familiar in its unforgiving escalation that could not be backed down. There is little difference between Entertainment Tonight and blurry news stories displaying people more like making reactive mistakes, not committing crimes, with life altering consequences and humiliation as the object.
26
I appreciate this story as a vital reminder that we must all do our part to push back against the “throwaway” culture that seems to be our society’s default setting these days.
My condolences to this man’s siblings, friends and son.
However, as I read this, I can’t help but notice the irony of how nonchalantly the author tells the story of the abuse this man inflicted upon another struggling member of the workforce: the woman at the drive-thru that was attacked.
I don’t think I’m making too far a leap to assume that she too may have been feeling down on her luck, pregnant and working a low-rung job, likely without any more prospects than the man who assaulted her. The fact that this man, who was at the time actively seeking a break and some empathy and support, was so unable to offer any himself is emblematic of this me-me-me and me-first society we live in. I hate to say it but it almost sounds like this is a perverse example of white, male privilege run amok. Of course, one probably needs to take into account the possibility of mental illness as well. Nevertheless, I hope this also serves as a cautionary tale to remind us that none of us have the right to transfer our anger or pain into anyone else, especially not to someone perceived as weaker or even more disposable than we might feel at the time.
22
"the web documented his mistake forever."
THIS. Should be an editor's pick. We are all vulnerable to this issue in the digital age.
20
For the employers out there that wouldn’t even consider the Geoffrey Weglarz’s of this country:
We hired a 60 year old that applied for an internship position - an army veteran who had been through multiple wartime deployments. When I was told we were hiring him I didn’t think much about it - or him other than why did he apply for this to begin with? Now I understand.
Three years later he has created for himself a position where he is creating value and has endeared himself to the millennials who chose to give him a chance. His pay has increased substantially as a result of his value creation. A win-win for sure.
Don’t hire older workers for sympathy - hire them for their maturity, experience and willingness to subordinate their own ego to team success. Next time a millennial who has underperformed shows me that entitlement that comes with some of today’s youth, I will show them the door and find a seasoned replacement who appreciates what they have.
Perhaps Mr. Weglarz’s story will save a few similar and deserving souls from his fate.
1407
Thank you Andrew. I, too, am 60, a veteran, and feel as if I have been left to linger on until I pass away. I am thankful that I have my retention benefit from the military but that does nothing to provide the dignity gained from meaningful work. Thank you again for laying out a positive story of what aging veterans can bring to the workforce. BRAVO ZULU....
55
A potential feature story right here. NYT, give it a shot!
45
Older workers tend to cost more in terms of corporate health insurance costs, especially when they haven’t been able to pay to have their basic healthcare needs met. Bottom line is everything, you know, for the stock holders (but seems more for the financial business voices that blather about quarterly profits being below their estimates. Overall, not an impressive country where top leadership is interpreted as inherited wealth/reality “stardom.”
9
My heart breaks for this man and his family. Such a sad story. As a society, we must begin to look out for our fellow man! In such a fast paced world so few stop to help another human being and we as a society are going to really suffer from that. Take a moment out of your day today and smile at someone and hold the door and just do something small. It does make a difference.
RIP Geoff Weglarz
118
This was a devastating and painful piece to read. I live in the East Village, and on Eleventh Street, in the Ninth District too. Sadly too seemingly was the perceived need to change is name due to, among other things, a damaged online reputation.
33
Although not exactly the same setting, this reminds me of the death by murder of Kitty Genovese about fifty years ago, a case which is brought in the classroom about the by stander effect. Not the same, but factually similar.
6
@javiergo -
Do a little research. What you think you know about the Genovese case is wrong.
30
How could this happen in a city where you have to move your car for "street cleaning" at least twice or week, OR be towed?
32
@matty if you read the whole story it says. The traffic officer saw the person in the car and thought they were alive. The windows also had a heavy tint to them.
19
I am so sorry to read of this loss. My heart to you all.
27
This is such a poignant, heartbreaking story. So often it feels as if we are navigating through this gig called "life" alone, afraid and untethered. I hope he has finally found comfort and restful peace.
239
So heartbreaking.
I can't know or guess at what demons this man had been battling but I do know that despite their qualifications, people over 60 generally get passed over for jobs in their fields. They don't even get interviews. Most companies would deny this, and it's illegal, but that's just how it is.
635
@CP I am 62. I've heard this from everyone in my age group who has had to look for a job. It took my brother two years to find a retail job when he was about my age! I hope I get to keep working until I'm ready, but many colleagues have been downsized as more work goes elsewhere.
5
Mr. Welgarz’s sad decline is emblematic for those over 50 in corporate America today. We are disposable and unemployable due to our age. No one will hire us, or interview us or even respond. We haven’t saved enough to make it to social security and medicare before we lose everything we saved over the prior 30 years. Rest In Peace.
909
This could be the same story of my good friend from high school who took his life two years ago after mounting debt and career setbacks pushed him to take "advantage" of some life insurance policies to secure his family's lifestyle. And, there but for the grace of god (in whom I have no faith or belief), I stumbled through a series of setbacks and hundreds of job applications before accepting I would never have the salary of my 40s and embraced doing something I enjoyed for far less. I've never been happier, but it really could have gone either way. Dump Trump and the GOP and let's invest in saving lives.
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@Deirdre
Please don't pursue that line of reasoning as an identity for yourself or for others. We are not disposable dependents. We are creative and resourceful thinkers -- every one of us. You may have lost touch with that side of yourself or never met that side, but it's there. And it's capable of so much more than the sad perspective you've described.
9
A sad testament to the indifference of our capitalist culture to the economic plight of people.
577
@William Stuber
I thought an economy was supposed to serve people. Looks like it's the other way around.
132
@William Stuber
Sadly, many non-capitalist cultures perform the same way. Try getting a job over 55-60 in some European countries. Capitalism isn't the problem. Human beings are the problem.
57
@Dave
I am at a loss to name a "non-capitalist" country in Europe. Perhaps you mean a social democracy with a mixed economy? In which case, even if a 55-60 year old man could not find a job, he would not be without a "safety net" to save him from financial desperation.
10
A lesson of wanting and having it all, then lose it all under circumstances . A life full of promises is gone .
Just hope his son turned out to be a responsible citizen, picked up his father`s legacy and learned to live a good life where having it all bears no meaning but have a life worthwhile full of kindness.
47
@B.Sharp His son is 17/18 now. I do not get your comment about him. He is a teenager who lost his father at a young age to suicide. I hope he has had support to deal with that .
42
How very sad. We all make our way alone through this world but I am learning how vital it is that we have others in our lives to reinforce how we are here to help each other and care for each other right to the end.
333
@T. Kelly Williamson
So very very true. If we don’t have family we had better make our own community, or have a ton of money. Even, then such resources may feel hollow. Your comment strikes me as the primary theme, not the police. Odd that the author didn’t seem to see it that way. At least, that was my read.
44
@william phillips
I agree that the primary, universal lesson of this story is more about what is valuable in life, how ephemeral material goods are, how family and friends are much more important than houses, cars, even works of art and other "collectibles." What makes the story even more poignant is the fact that it does not seem Mr Weglarz failed to understand this lesson. Rather, he was simply a blameless victim of an unfeeling corporate society. Long gone are the days when one could feel a part of the institution she or he works for. I work in academe, and even in the ivory tower it's dog eat dog. Sigh.
13
@rft
Huge story line for the day when it was both families and the work related institutions that created a glide path with dignity for our twilight years. Will the euthanasia pill stand in for earned pensions that came from corporations or unions? Ultimately, it’s about how to make capitalism work for us rather the other way around. The irony is that capitalism,as is, will force us toward an aggressive form of socialism. Wealth is being concentrated among the few while the many are being abandoned. Regarding academia, no surprise that with so much inflated egotism that cold hearts prevailed.
1