I think none of us realize how much our quiet, alone time has been compromised by technology. Intuition is heard in the quiet time. Before the 90s it was much easier to be still and think and listen -- and then act on that "knowing" what felt right. And, we were more forgiving in terms of thinking if a shift is needed, that's fine. It seems like technology is much more demanding and condemning voices are given too much space and personal authority. Consequently, we are often swimming in very murky waters.
58
Although we may think intuition leaves us as we age, maybe it's just that we can't believe that intuition is telling us to stay put. When we are younger intuition can move us into change and looking for something better, and that is a good thing. But at some point, in spite of all the necessary changes of the past, I think we realize we are not going to find perfect, especially in marriage. We're used to that high of intuition buoying us into change and the next step, so if it tells us not to change, it doesn't feel like intuition at all. In fact it might feel like settling, but maybe it's just settling down.
25
When I was younger, not unlike the author, I had clear marbles of thoughts that would clearly present themselves. In addition, if I said something, I had an story sense of inner commitment and I would stand by what I said. Over the years, and especially after the end of a decade-long relationship, I find that many people neither have such clear thoughts nor are able to stand by their commitments in ways that I had been doing. In the end, that makes knowing unknowable. Even if I am constant, based in part on my clear thoughts, there are variables all around that interfere with the outcome. In the meantime, maybe less clear thoughts and flaking out (a little) aren't the big sins I have thought they were!
6
Intuition, for me, is tied into the creative process. All artists rely on instinctual noting and grasping ideas and concepts as they come to you. This can be an image, words,sound--a physical gesture. Those bright moments of aha weave into other moments of aha, or wake up dull moments when you didn't think you were actually aha-ing. I do not think our intuition ages. In fact, it's a practice--use it or lose it. Or rather, trust it and find it. Integrate it.
11
The truth is that we can't follow our intuition all the time, if intuition is defined, as it is here, as just a sudden, emotional gut feeling. My "intuition" might tell me any number of things on any given day, but I have no intention of uprooting my life for a feeling. I think you should listen to your intuition over time, not in a fleeting moment. That's just emotion at that point, and it might be good to recognize "I am feeling very emotional about this right now, and that could be for many different reasons that I can't quite parse out right now, so I need to recognize the emotion and express it, but I don't need to change my life because of it." This is something that is not easy to do, and I'm no expert at it. But honestly I think that no longer trusting your intuition is realizing that, actually, you have a lot to lose and that you're no longer a single young person who can just make sudden decision on a whim.
10
In my experience it's the busy-ness that gets in the way of insight (or intuition, if you prefer). In order to have insights we need to allow for quiet and space in our minds, our hearts and in our bodies. Yes, reason certainly has its place too, especially for big life decisions such as whether or not to separate from your partner. But ultimately there is a place beyond reason where you know and feel that something is the right thing at that time. To the rational skeptics I suggest to listen to insight, then apply reason - very honestly - and see what happens.
10
Intuition is a non-existent mirage. If intuition was a human trait to count on there would be no addiction, and no jails, and no unwanted pregnancies, and on and on...
3
I think intuition is basically pattern recognition. From the time we are very small, babies even, we see indicators - a facial expression, a body posture, a gesture, etc. that over time we recognize as either a safe sign or a threat/danger sign. So a child will pick up, with almost preternatural ability, the tiny warning signs that spell trouble - the lift of an eyebrow, a hunched shoulder. The problem is that we are so conditioned to "behave", to not think ill of others, to be nice, that we consciously make excuses for the warning signs we can clearly see. We say to ourselves "where did that come from? He didn't do anything. How could I think that? How awful of me!" And so, down the garden path we go. It's absolutely possible to detach from this conditioning. Any time your gut goes "uh-oh", run it through your conscious brain and ask "what made me think that? Was it a facial expression? A remark? A gesture? What might be behind it?" You recognized a pattern, learned when you were very young, in an instant. Now honor it, and analyze it. It is rational to analyze what might seem irrational. You'll be surprised at how much intuition you really have. And how it saves you, too.
13
Important decisions are best made by using a combination of our skills and the perspectives of our friends and peers. If you lose your intuition, lean on your friends. That said, personal finance issues are only rational.
I have almost always regretted not following my intuition in various situations and have been taught to lend it great authority because it is usually right. I have walked into a room and sensed uneasy that there was something negative going on. I have learned later that the two other people in the room were in a difficult struggle with each other.
I had an experience of meeting my psychotherapist for his first hour of his day and met him in his waiting room. He invited me to ascend the stairs to the consultation room. I invited him to precede me. We were in this mini struggle and finally I went ahead of him. I couldn't say why I didn't want to go first but just knew I didn't. Several years later, he was involved in a lawsuit with a patient regarding a sexual relationship between the two. In court he admitted he had had sexual relations with many patients. My intuition in that seemingly innocent interaction several years ago was spot on when I sensed an unsafe situation of not keeping him in my visual field that I could not verbalize at the time.
In these two situations and many others I do not experience a particular emotion (ie mad, sad, bad, glad) other than ''a gut feeling" which I cannot identify as an emotion with a name. I experience the intuitive sensation as information for which I have no evidence at the time, but through experience know that eventually it will all fall together.
19
Intuitive thinking Is not simply emotional: it is just as rational, logical, as conscious thinking – the only difference is that the process is unconscious, and only the result, or will, is brought to the surface. In daily life, we all do many things intuitively, but even a habitual action needs to be rationally willed at some level.
A problem may occur, however, when one is facing an important decision. One should consider whether one’s gut feeling is best for the long run, rather than just for the more immediate future. I learned this the hard way. I had already become adept at questioning my unconscious and receiving intuitive answers. Very late one evening, my intuition told me to keep eating the chocolate cookies, though my palate indicated I had reached the maximum amount of sugar that was healthful. I kept eating them while saying out loud, “This is crazy!” and checking my intuition, which kept giving me the green light. I later discovered that eating so many of them had had me become pre-diabetic I have since discovered a technique for checking whether or not a surprising intuition is valid even for the long run.
4
thank you for writing this!
4
Both anger and not having enough hours in the week decidedly do not foster intuition. Each clouds unconscious emotional processing of the self's bigger picture. Long drives seems to be what breaks intuition inertia for me, perhaps because it soothes the "flight" response and opens up a sudden clarity.
7
Security specialist and author Gavin de Becker says intuition is information we actually have available to us somewhere in the mind, but it hasn't bubbled to the surface yet. Intuition is often vital to survive life-or-death situations, as he writes in his book The Gift of Fear, which I highly recommend, especially for women. De Becker maintains there is a certain amount of societal pressure to ignore intuition and a tendency to think of it as some woo woo mystical sixth sense, when in fact it's simply our fight-or-flight brains being tamped down by a desire to appear polite and, ironically, to avoid conflict. While not every instance in which we use intuition is obviously so knife edge, honing your intuition is useful, and practicing it in more mundane settings may just save your life one day.
20
Each person is different. For me, getting back to intuition requires first getting back to quiet. Such as a weekend camping. Only when the outer world stops shouting and I get quiet can I hear the small voice within. It's always there, it's just that I can't always hear it.
8
You are exactly right! Your real "intuition" is that small voice. The other part, the "do I, don't I" is a process, just a recycled bit of conversation that feeds on itself when is has the right "content," it has no purpose that I've found other than to produce anxiety. When we turn attention away from that process, true intuition is revealed.
4
You are changing, that's all. Intuition will surface again, when you least expect it. Immerse yourself in beauty as much as you can, and give the conceptualizing a break.
8
As a therapist, I think this article will help a lot of people. The idea that life has become more complex, and that having children has now made things more quantum (loved that analogy) is right on. Plus the idea that there is a continental shift from building to maintaining is a great point. May Judi's book expand on these themes and help many.
9
Many may disagree but the Truth is the "the gut instinct" has nothing at all to do with the Intuitive Mind (IM).
That, IM, has its origin at a much higher plane of existence and it takes quite some time to become aware of it and even more so to be able to evaluate and act from the Intuitive Mind.
The gut instinct is but the animal instinct in man, sees everything through the prism of that hunter-gatherer primeval awareness that was in use during the of the Mesolithic period some 10,000 years ago. That aggressive killer instinct "going for the jugular" is still very visible in business and especially in our politics today.
But that is and will be the wrong side of history, does not correspond to our deeply seated understanding of who we are and our future path on the evolutionary curve. We may deny it, we may muddle it up; yet it remains part of our dwindling past, not of our secret knowledge of the direction we ARE going.
4
Loved the personal viewpoints but the reliance on this type of social science (students in an experiments looking at images and dots) is concerning. We now live in an era where a skeptical eye is taken to much of such evidence (even that in the natural sciences) -- and to extrapolate a 40-something mother to a college kids study results is just the beginning of what might be the wrong to use (and trust) such data. At any rate, the point about stakes changing is the best -- something I hadn't put a finger on and the author efficiently and clearly detailed. Thanks.
9
I really enjoyed this article, I wish it was longer and expanded more on the topics listed. It seemed to end abruptly.
9
Thanks very much for your piece, Judi. I found it affirming and empowering to me, a man in his late 50’s. I often feel conflicted, almost a mental torture over sometimes simple matters. Thinking too much! Ah, life was and is so much simplier and straightforward when uncomplicated.
4
This era is dominated by the belief that all truth is determined by scientific studies. If Science can explain intuition, then, intuition is a viable factor. Otherwise not. Perhaps if one stops believing in scientific studies, one will stop blocking out the very unscientific fact of intuition.
11
I have a few thoughts about this from personal experience. First of all, I don't think the author's intuition is off at training camp; I think it's forever reduced in its power by both higher life-stakes and the complexity of lived experience. In my mid-50s, I can only rarely make the kind of quick gut decisions the author describes from her 20s, which are exactly the kind I made back then, and which I still look back on with fondness. I don't anticipate getting that ability back. I've seen too much by this time to ever believe again that my guts know the right thing to do instantaneously.
I also think it's easy to look back on any gut decision and justify it as correct, thereby justifying gut decisions in general. Things really do have a way of working out, to get all trite about it. The decision to become a stay-at-home parent works out on some level, in some ways. And because we never did the other thing, we can't know how much better or worse that other thing would have worked out. Yes, there are some unmitigated disasters in our lives, but most things, like decisions with long-term effects like being a stay-at-home parent, have positives and negatives that we justify in our minds. And then we adjust them later on as needs arise — it was ok to be a stay-at-home parent for five or so years, then financial or personal changes required a change.
27
July 21, 2018
Exactly what we need to think about and make our world happier regardless of the difficult choices but we move on and learn as herewith.
1
Thanks for writing about questions striving to restore intuition. I’ve wondered too if it’s possibly age-related. While I don’t think of intuition as mystical or magical, I always appreciated its ability to affirm or confirm what my rational side was thinking.
For over 12 years, from my early 50s to my early 60s, I took care of first one, then two, parents with dementia. In addition to great anxiety and constant trade offs over many steps along the way, it was physically grueling - first cross-country, then seeing my mom daily (moving her nearby after my dad died). Intuition seldom played a part. Choice seldom played a part. I made decisions based on the best information I had at any given moment.
It’s been almost two years since my mom died. I am still working to rebuild my inner self, intuition and more. I am a better human for having chosen family, despite the loss of savings and career options late in the game. I would not choose differently. But after more than a decade of sustained demands and disappointments, I am far better at treasuring moments of joy and friendship and family and my own personal time. These are real and all that matter.
As wise commenters note, perhaps life experience replaces intuition. I am not sure and look forward to exploring the question more.
22
This reminds of calling it how you see it. Making important life decisions shouldn't be made hastily. When your gut tells you something it's not about guessing or hoping you are right. Relationships bind us to reality. I appreciate the open book effect sharing your tough choices. Being middle-aged is different as like you say we are guided by past, present, and future.
5
Love this beautiful story!
3
Uh....I'm confused. The title of this article indicates that it is about how to get your intuition back. Am I missing something here? Because this is theories and research, not a how-to, or even how the author got hers back.
25
excellent reflection, thank you.
5
From the beginning you were totally in tune with your gut instinct. Your intuition was telling you that you were conflicted. The message was dont take action until you sort this out.
Then after not listening to yourself, you agrevate this contrived inadeqecy by accusing one of your power centers of letting you down. A vicious cycle gains momentum.
Your instinct provides messages obtained by other routes than the usual 5 (eyes, ears, etc).its not a yes or no swami. If it was i’d win the lottery every week
Instinct is a powerful tool. I suggest not to try to keep it in confines of career affirmation. Let it lose and see what it tells you
6
You have played a role for many years. But you weren't always wife/mother. Now you can't hear the voice that was you. You can either 1. play the role or 2. reject it and try to allow yourself to discover who you are now after all these years of putting everyone else first. In your crisis, you asked your father what to do. Then your husband. I'm willing to bet that your husband and children want you to go on being "you," as in your role, the only person they've known you to be. Maybe you do, too.
Intuition, as you describe it, sounds like "making decisions without needing approval that are clear and work out well." Our ability to be decisive is strongly affected by our subconscious ideas and emotions. Denial is terribly useful. It allows one to go on playing a role even when in emotional pain (pain or trauma that can last for years). When you deny yourself your feelings (sadness or anger over the loss of a parent, betrayal from a divorce or being fired), you kick-the-can down the road if you don't or can't express them. Those pent-up, buried feelings are going to come out one way or another, either toward other people or they will gnaw at you from the inside, causing you to be ungrounded and indecisive.
Take space. Be alone for a time. A month, maybe longer. Engage in foolish pleasure, i.e. do something creative or fun that makes you "forget yourself." And listen. Your quiet inner voice just may pipe up. You may just be scared because you have no idea what it might say.
25
The part about rumination that anxious and depressed people do damaging their intuition is very revealing. Thanks for the insight!
16
Can anyone tell me how intuition can help me pick the winning lottery numbers? If it works I'll give you half. Maybe.
4
They needed a study to figure this out?
Dr. Pearson said. “With our work, we have shown strong evidence that unconscious feelings and emotions can combine with conscious feelings, and we can use it to make better decisions.”
2
I wish people would stop using the phrase "gut instinct." Trump likes it. Fact is, intuition results from years of experience, the validating effect of which resides in depth of feeling related to one's sense of self, not in good vs. back digestive responses.
And one's self is not "unconscious"! It shows in feeling that is mindful of what experience has taught you.
One is better able to prevent losing the efficacy of intuition the more that one stays attuned to their deeply life-based sense of self efficacy, which IS usually NON-conscious (just like all skills are, until they're "called for"). Need for reliability of preference (feeling that one way is better than another) evinces our non-conscious reservoir of experience that feels relevant, and the right feeling is there for you (you hope).
Lost that? MINDFULNESS is the key. YOU know how to be mindful! Just do it.
7
In my 30s I started drinking my way away from my intuition (though of course the booze fooled me into thinking the opposite.)
When I got sober at 44, all of a sudden the intuition was back, better than ever.
Incidentally, I think it's worth talking about fact-checkable intuition, reality-testable. As we know, there's too much junk "intuition" around.
4
People often become more careful and reflective as they get older so that can be a deficit to intuition but I don't think that's the real challenge many people in mid-life are facing.
It's somewhat understated, Gen-X may not have been born with the internet but we sure did implement it early in our lives and have changed as a generation as the technology has around us. We're a unique group in that we can remember and sometimes pine for a time without the complication of technology and yet be as integrated into tech as any Gen-Y, Z'er.
And what countless studies have shown is that the dopamine feedback loop we get from how we use tech, and the isolating powers of 'social media' and the incessant 6 hour news cycles all have exponentially increased the amount of depression we face in society.
So Gen-X is poised in a unique place. We're growing more cautious as we are submerged in the depressing effects of this tech blanket we live in. Yet, we have the innate insight of a people that can psychosomatically recall feeling fundamentally more free and as or more importantly, we remember our parents and their parents lives as being that way as well.
I think if we put our minds to it, Gen-X can bring about the most meaningful change possible to society but it starts by getting clear with our own true nature. Meditation is probably the most useful tool available to us in that regard. Public service and volunteering is another. It's not too late to get back to the garden.
12
I don't think this article does what it purports. It seems it's more about decision making. After years of being married, hitting the divorce ejector seat switch is more of an informed decision. I also don't buy the ending. We talked things out etc and we lived happily ever after. Toooooo tidy.
8
@Mediamercenary Exactly! Toooo tidy.
4
The same happened to me. I made the best decisions when I was younger. I followed my intuition because I had nothing to lose. I did not listen nor sought out advice from others. As I got older. I began to try to be more careful, to do the right thing, to make informed choices. I started to listen to the advice of others. That's when I started to make mistakes and decisions I regretted. Now, I'm back to taking risks and follow my own advice. I hope it works again so I can be successful again. I keep remembering the words of a song in Disney's "Alice in Wonderland": "I give myself very good advice, but I never follow it." Best wishes, Ms. Ketteler. When you cry about a decision you've made or your stomach hurts, that means you made the wrong decision.
9
My intuition is that divorce is still a distinct possibility in this author's future. Ah, but enjoy it while it lasts.
13
That is so funny! I thought the same thing as well. Successful women need their husbands to work too. Women didn’t leave the kitchen so men could pretend to go there. Everyone must strive for their best and be equal! And no amount of psychology can fix that. But, the 40s are incredibly hard and humbling. Also, she forgot to mention the thing we all do get: wisdom. It’s wisdom that makes us realize there are very few “right and wrong” answers. I think it plays a role in all this, but I don’t know the degree. Stumbling along myself.
24
I can fully relate to the author’s view. I have and am still experiencing loss of intuition which I used to have until about 15 years ago. With the advent of technology I began going against my intuition.
This column gives me lot of hope to try to get my intuition back
Thank you
1
I loved the narrative you shared here and the examination led with it. I thought it was relatable, helpful, and good fodder for thought.
6
Intuition is one way of knowing, and it's direct. Reason is the other way of knowing. It's reflective, indirect, and time intensive. I hold to the belief that our intuition was strongest when we were in the state of nature, i.e. before civilization, and that the more civilized we've become the more we've chiseled away our intuitive faculty.
Psychedelics, especially mushrooms, are effective remedies, and to a milder extent, THC.
Joseph in Missoula
4
As the author of "A Practical Guide to Awareness", which is a brief but deep dive of 5 steps to discover your self again or for the first time, I recommend that relying on the outside world is the first problem. Most people today do not make space in their day for just being ----which allows us to reside in ourselves as ourselves. Instead of responding or reacting.
Many people over-schedule their day without first looking at what the opportunities are for space in which to rest, daydream, play or be in nature. Yes, depression exists more now than ever -which does limit our ability to "trust"our instincts or intuition. It is a result of not practicing self care. When we ignore our own needs and put everyone else first, especially as a parent, we can succomb to depression and other loss of happiness, spontaneity and pursuits that bring joy. But, self care, presence, making space in your day are all a practice requiring daily effort that results in heightened intuition and presence. Being present in the moment is really the key to solving the lack of intuition and everything else that is connected. GO outside, take a deep breath and look up at the sky. Breathe. Then if it the situation warrants tell someone how you feel.
29
I subscribe to the concept that our brains are incessantly processing information and our consciousness mind is reading and observing those processes. Intuition is a direct reading of our actual thinking. When we turn our conscious mind to direct our direct thinking ("subconscious"), we are also likely to "over-think a problem". It's why sleeping on a decision or exercising is a good way to process a choice. We don't let our conscious mind get in the way of actually thinking!
2
Hmm. Mine just got better and better. At least, that's my intuitive perception of it.
2
From the purgatory of loneliness into the hell of togetherness.
Thomas Bernhard
11
Intuition varies greatly among people, as it is based on temperament and other characteristics. Kinesthetic people take in massive amounts of sensory data, which bypasses cognitive thought. As a musician and an athlete, I have relied on intuitive knowing all my life. This doesn't mean that I can't/don't rely on syllogisms, which sometimes are even more important. We are meant to rely on a combination of both kinds of knowing--that is the best case scenario.
4
Intuition spans a spectrum doesn't it? At the one end you have snap judgements and "knowing in one's gut" and "shooting from the hip" like our favorite buffoon does. At the other end you have educated hunches backed up by years of experience that you can't really articulate, not yet, and maybe never.
I'm all for the later, but people are lazy, and find it much easier to forgo research and just conclude immediately. That's why we're in this mess. People want the truth to be simple, but in this world, it's always in the middle of polar opposites.
For instance, the right portrays the immigrants a rapists, drug dealers, and people gaming the system. The left portrays them as honest people fleeing hardship, threats and oppression. However if you were in the truthful middle, you would admit both sides are right and strive to find out what the real proportions are. The polarized ends have no such interest.
9
Intuition is a complex beast. Trump voters are mostly following their intuition, illustrating how unreliable it can be!....
I've been practicing vipassana meditation for about 10 years - vipassana roughly translates to "clear thinking", and I think in the end, clear thinking, after the brain has quieted down, is about the best we can hope for.
9
I’ve been practicing meditation since the 70s, it doesn’t make me better qualified to judge a politician, only my own thoughts. I understand why people voted for Trump. The alternative was Hilary!
Take India. It’s corrupt. It’s politicians useless. And yet, millions meditate. Your point?
1
@Peter Fox
Yes, making the political connection about Trump was low lying fruit this week for NY Times readers. Regardless, my point was that intuition cannot be trusted.
All that I stated about meditation is that it can help to clarify ones owns thoughts....I wasn't connecting it to intuition or choosing a political leader. I think I was pretty clear about that.
Also, statistically, I'm not so sure that even if the "millions who meditate" in India were making better political choices that it would make any difference when the population is over a population.
2
@Peter Fox Actually, Hillary got a million (?) more votes than Trump. Awful as Hillary was, we knew she was far better than the Donald.
Intuition is like a muscle – it needs to be regularly exercised. If you save it for the big weighty decisions, it’s a bit like walking into the gym and trying to benchpress 200 pounds without having spent six months working up to that. You’ve got to nurture and cultivate it through small, even fun, decisions that you make every day, learning to trust the voice so that when you really need it, It comes through clearly. Silence, quiet contemplative time in nature, can settle the voices in our head long enough for that true inner voice to be heard.
49
Like musical or any other aptitude, intuition comes in stages of degrees. People with great, unfailing intuition are psychics.
2
When I was nearing my fifties a business proposal dropped in my lap. I could purchase the company I worked for for 17 years. I had left for a year due to bereavement. It was a toxic company, yet the price seemed great. Bank executives loved me and my business plan (I was the company's art director and made managerial decisions). There were red flags screaming at me. Yet, I thought if I could make it through this hurtle I can do this. One red flag was to drop a co-worker who would be a partner. I listened to my gut instinct and told him I had to do this alone. He understood. Then came the discoveries of liens that could not be ignored. That was a literal kick in the gut when a VP called me and told me of the liens. Long story short, I walked away from the deal.
After that, I created my own information research company calling it Spazhouse, Intuitive Research. I use intuition when helping clients who require information for their projects. I use intuition on their projects because sometimes my clients are not asking the right questions or they are too close to their topic.
I use intuition in mediation as I am also a small claims mediator. I am mindful of the disputing parties emotional state during mediation.
Never under estimate the feeling of there is something is off here. That comes from our hunter gathering ancestors.
We all have intuition. Some are more aware of it than others.
25
As I enter my forties, the difference in deciding is that now the stakes feel real. Before, I was playing poker with pennies, or at least that’s how it felt. Now, there’s real money on the table, often literally, and with the added stakes of spouse and children, other people whose lives will be affected by my decisions.
I simply have to consider things more carefully these days. Going all in with play money was easy, but we’re at the big table now.
33
I've always thought of intuitive thinking as something different, the kind of leap of logic that helped me solve problems in my career as a research scientist. The "Aha!" moment when you put things together or come up with a solution from a completely different direction. I tended to be pretty good at this type of intuitive thinking, which I always considered more like pattern-matching than some kind of "gut feeling." Ironically although I was very intuitive with my work I did not tend to make snap decisions about things like choosing a house etc.
2
I have always thought of intuition as incomplete thoughts, when we have no words to analyze our situation. In the place of words, we imagine the situations presented and try to sense the feelings that we would expect to feel. If one situation feels more comfortable (probably meaning more familiar), that feeling is the intuitive result. However, as we get older, we learn more words and more analytical techniques, so we don’t need to rely on intuition as often. To me, that is not a loss. There will always be unknowns in every major decision, so some intuitive thinking will always be necessary. However, if one learns to trust one’s analytical skills, those skills will replace the need for intuition.
7
I have strong intuitive feelings at times. However, when it comes to a huge decision, like whether to separate from your husband, I think dithering is normal. I dithered for months, perhaps years, before suddenly telling my husband I wanted out of the marriage. When I finally said the words they came out suddenly and without forethought: the time had come.
14
There are forces greater than ourselves that lead us to being in the right place at the right time. I am grateful that some higher power brought me to this article. As I read through Ms. Ketteler's story, I felt like I was reading about myself. I am appreciative of the research she shared. Like Ms. Ketteler, I am working within new frameworks that are currently impacting my ability to trust what I once thought was my reliable gut. Another lesson in learning to be patient with myself and go with the flow, the answers will come.
14
Two fine paths, by my experience, for strengthening, improving, enhancing, growing, elevating, etc. so-called intuition are:
Be alone and inward. Encounter at length a work of art (by which I mean also books and scientific explanations, explorations).
For aloneness, surroundings matter. One can be alone in a small simple room, in the woods, at a sidewalk cafe table, in a huge fancy room, or standing awhile unmoving in a Walmart watching, listening. But this list moves from situations more conducive to inwardness to those less so.
Inside, have a conversation, which can get very heated, become agons, between intuition and its other, usually called reason or rationality or nitpicking intellect.
Works of art can do much for such conversations.
11
Only art can successfully evince human contradictions since human behavior can always resist science on a whim. But don't forget about studying history. There was always someone before us who had more important decisions to make under greater stress. And those who *don't* study history remain children all their lives, like a Roman senator said, I think.
3
@Mr. Samsa Even better than contemplating somebody else's work of art, be creative your own self. You will find that you will be making quick little decisions all the time. When you get stuck, go do something else for a little while, and the solution will come to you out of the blue, i.e. intuitively. The key is, do something creative!
2
First world problems are still problems. Respect your mind and your feelings. Been there done that
6
I remember when I was very depressed in an abusive relationship that I was completely unable to make choices and decisions (because my abuser had somehow convinced me that I was too stupid to be able to do so). Any intuition I may have had seems to have vanished with my sanity. When I was eventually able to get out of that relationship, my trust in my own decision-making and, interestingly, my intuition, returned. Actually, now that I think about it, maybe my intuition was there all along...I just didn't trust it during that awful and highly stressful period of time.
36
So what's your answer/prognosis for a 61 year old whose intuition has been 100% WRONG ever since he can remember all the way back to his earliest childhood?
9
@rob blake Always do the opposite?
9
@rob Blake Hope that in the next life you are born a woman. We are notorious for having superior intuitions. Male biology leads them to think in straight lines. Female biology is open to stimuli on a variety of fronts.
1
@rob blake Much of the information in your brain is non-verbal and so cannot be processed by conscious thought. After all language is a recent invention of evolution. It is the advantage of intuition is that it takes this extra information into account.
So if your intuition turns out to be wrong every time then some basic information in your brain must be wrong. The only way to find out is to sit down, analyze your mistakes and look for common patterns. Be aware that there may be some early trauma involved.
My intuition bothers me about the phrase "gone for good." If something is gone, departed permanently, is that ipso facto good? Why assume so? Most people who use the phrase do not seem to deem the departure (of whatever) as a clear decisive "good." Why not say "gone for better or worse" instead? Or "gone with unknown consequences" and so on.
Also, my intuition is suspicious about TED talks. These seem secular versions of the many religious pep talks and seem more about fatuous glee, fake high, puffed-up self-satisfaction, and of course selling, than about a thorough grabbling, wrestling with the matter, an agon ...
It's been said that the best intuition works as a counter, an antagonist, to your usual boring, shallow self.
3
In 1983, as an undergraduate, I was subjected to the same experiment that the Australians did. Nothing new here.
Never underestimate the power of your hormones. Menopause (or peri-menopause if you think you are too young for that) is just as likely to mess up your intuition as anxiety, depression or any other significant change or imbalance in your life. Just another one of those nice things about aging that no one warns us about beforehand.
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@Susan Absolutely, except that those hormones start screwing you up in adolescence, not menopause.
1
@Susan i agree about the effects of menopause. I would add that, in my younger days, having my period similarly affected the volume of my intuition, rendering decision making almost impossible.
@Susan
Well, I would argue the opposite. I'm 66 . I've been very intuitive all of my life. I think of my youth as basically flying by the seat of my pants with nary a parachute in tow. I parented my children with a preponderance of intuition. This can be painful when one is very aware that something is wrong and will get worse before it gets better . They are all in their 30's now; stable, usefully employed with good spouses . But when they were younger I relied very much upon intuition about when to intervene and investigate and prohibit and when to just back off and wait.
I am also intuitive about friendships which, we tend to find out, become much more complex with age. And then there are the spouses , ex spouses, lovers....best to listen to the small inner voice, the prickling of the scalp, the stomach pains or back ache that won't go away...or , if you are lucky, the happy leap of the heart and smile that won't quit. I think that too many things are blamed on menopause-though I have not loved it at all. But the death of intuition is not a usual consequence.
The best training in the world for context shifting is the three-day course called the Landmark Forum.
2
I always thought that intuition was something that accompanies us throughout our lives and grows as we grow. But this partial quote: "... the difference between the observable world, which follows certain laws of physics, and the quantum world, which is nothing like the observable world. You can have the best intuition when you’re out among the electrons. But shrink yourself down inside an electron and your intuition ceases to be relevant, because the context has changed." is WAY over my head!
9
@Fran I believe "the quantum world" is over the head of the author, too. What she said in that paragraph made no sense to me as well. I'm not a scientist, but I have a layman's understanding of quantum mechanics, and her statement – "You can have the best intuition when you’re out among the electrons. But shrink yourself down inside an electron and your intuition ceases to be relevant" – is just silly. At least as it relates to quantum physics.
2
Agree with others that taking those leaps of intuition as you age have greater risks...easy to try a new industry at 25 or move across the country at 30 when you're single and no kids.
I'm now in my 50's and find that intuition is still there, but in different ways. Prime example is that I travel to England for vacation every few years. Three years ago was "time to go again" but for some reason I just couldn't get into planning a trip. I decided instead to visit my dad (far out of state) and take a road trip to our family alma mater. I rarely visit family except for Christmas, so this was out of the the norm.
A few days before I was fly down my brother called - our father had been diagnosed with a brain tumor with maybe 6 weeks left. I jumped on the plane and then used the money that would have paid for England to visit him several more times before he passed.
Similar situation when I wanted to move to Brooklyn that same summer. Found an apartment I loved, but that small, still voice said "No...not yet." Good thing I listened because I would have had to move while he was dying and my time was far better spent with him.
I'm grateful to have paid attention to these gut inklings and try to listen for them even more.
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Thank you, Judi.
One idea that is running through my mind is that we are all basically in sales. We have to persuade and be persuaded.
Once, I came across the NY license plate: I LV 2 SELL.
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Selling can be fun and it can be very frustrating.
So, I wonder if it might be a good idea to assume we are all in sales, and then we can work to enjoy it more and more.
Whatever we do, in live, involves selling. Get used to it...
6
@Harry Pearle Not me. My intuition tells me to avoid buying.
1
Our brain functions nearly at the speed of light but out conscious mind operates at a crawl. Think for example of a computer when you're typing it's happening at a relatively slow speed in front of you on the page. Mean while the computer is processing vast amounts of information and programming in the background to make that all happen but you don't see it. Alternatively, think of a spreadsheet with hundreds of formulas in each box making calculations buy all you see is the final result.
Intuition is the cumulative output of all we know, all our experiences, all our knowledge, our values, emotions, and the context (framework) to arrive at a decision reduced down to a simple comprehendable result that we refer to as intuition.
One way to improve our intuition is to give more thought to our framework before we initiate our intuition.
8
When we are younger we tend to be more daring. What happened when you took a leap before was that that leap worked out. some luck some work etc. If you hadn't something else would have worked out. Anxiety about getting it right leads to procrastination. But know this. There is no right or wrong when it comes to decisions. The path that comes when we decide is simply chosen and tended too and hence it become a path. Love is attention and vice versa.
17
When my boss was away, his assistant and I did not play. We had a heavy volume of incoming phone calls, and on occasion some needed to be addressed by my supervisor. The phone would ring and I would answer 'Mr. X, you just had a call from the CEO of Narnia and...', it used to throw him off course, and he would ask how did I know it was him. I never thought twice about this, and as the years have gone by, my intuition has just become sharper.
A highly intuitive friend, short of a genius in logic and problem-solving, is going to particularly enjoy this essay by Ms. Judi Ketteler. One might call it an animal instinct that is more developed in some of us, but it is not uncommon that when we are in the throes of making a decision, a choice, our mind has already made up our mind for us.
The French have a saying that our Heart has its reasons that Reason finds incomprehensible. Glad that the author and her husband remained together, and that they did not grow closer and closer apart.
11
My last big bold intuitive decision was to uproot myself from a comfortable life in Minneapolis and move to a small ranch in New Mexico so I could be one with nature and have horses. It was a great decision. However as I approach age 70 bold decisions have major consequences.
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".....bubbles of clear and immediate truth." The author speaks of intuition and decision-making in terms of the Right one and Wrong one.
But in most cases it's neither -- it's just what is, with all the attendant results and/or consequences. There's always a road not taken, with potential outcomes that remain unknown.
35
Mine is still working for the little things, "You're not frustrated; you just need a break." or "Maybe it's not the best time to talk about that with him." or "Just walk to the gym."
But for the big things, like "You hate this job. Get out!". I can't do it anymore. Too afraid of no health insurance, no 401K, FSA....it's like my inner reasonable person has the reins.
87
Sounds like your intuition is telling you to hold on to your job. Unfortunately it doesn't always say what we'd prefer to hear.
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@Jo
No, my intuition keeps yelling, "You only live once! People die! Do what you love."
I crush it.
1
@RW
Please don't crush that voice! But do find either another job with that security -- or perhaps start another freelance career while you're still working -- and then quit that job..think of it as your Day Job -- and believe!
1
Lifelong exposure to and assault by the forces of sexism, big and small, is what did my powers of intuition in.
Trusting intuition can be a confusing, bad idea when this act of faith and self-trust is performed within a system that’s rigged against you.
Trusting my intuition, in the end, only brought me further from a stable center, closer to the margins, where society is happy to have me quietly reside. Sexism also took my voice (when everything you say is too “angry,” too “feminist,” wrong tone, wrong audience, etc. after a while you might shut up), leaving me only the imposed voice of self-doubt that is the enemy of intuition.
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@Stephanie Rosenfeld I often find intuition failing me when I'm stressed, but for me that just means waiting longer. My intuition consist of knowing the value of a thought, and I use that tool by generating new notions until I get one better than the best one yet, and keep that up until I get one good enough for the problem at hand (which has itself been defined and assigned a value by the same process). So people troubles can just slow that down, or change the value rankings so you have to start over, but that doesn't mean your intuition is weaker, just that it's carrying more weight.
1
Clinically stated. “Humans use twenty percent of the brain’s potential”, “Intuition” derives from the other eighty percent, along with an incredible reality.
11
Good article. When I think of the times I've made major decisions (marriage, divorce, grad school, major moves), I recognize that my gut instinct is not significantly correlated with positive/negative outcomes. My decision-making processes included input from others, research, and weight of the pros and cons as well as instinct.
The thing that these decisions had in common was that, at the time, they seemed to be the best option. It's comforting to remember that in my moments of crying on bathroom floors.
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Also at midlife, I'm finding that the best guide for decisions is to never decide to do anything "for love." You will end up sad and broke. If your choice doesn't make rational sense and isn't clearly pragmatic, it's the wrong one. Relying on emotions for any decision is simply wrong. Decide with your head, never your heart.
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Aw, that's sad. I recently made an emotional decision that was not rational nor pragmatic, but was right for me. I knew it would be a big regret if I didn't give it a shot. Of course, if it hadn't worked out, I might have a different attitude. Regardless of which road you take, you just never know how things will turn out. But it's nice to think we can have control if we only make the 'right' decisions.
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@Nancy "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
2
WE often tend to do what our gut feelings lead us to do -- and then get the {left} brain working to come up with a reason that will pass for logic.
Some times we cannot access our feelings, until after we've made a decision which seems completely and totally wrong after the fact. So it may help to really imagine yourself having made a tough decision:h it's done, now how do you feel?
Oh course a lot of good longtime decisions do not feel "good" in the short term - breaking up ( I am thinking "for good reason" ) relationships tends to be in that category. And when you add children, their reactions have equal weight.
2
Read the book "Focusing" by Eugene Gendlin.
6
In our younger years, life's generous time horizon affords wide(er) choices. Relationships, career moves, education, living/lifestyle options -- the palette is broad.
Then, life happens. Each roll of the dice, each major life decision, counts for more as our time on the planet decreases. I think it's natural to deliberate more about a career lurch, a relationship change, a geographical move.
I'm not saying stasis sets in. No way. But I think major life decisions in middle age require more thought and less of a blase spirit.
Life decisions and financial investments -- both require a thorough interior reckoning regarding' one's risk tolerance. And this changes as one moves from youth to middle age, and beyond.
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@fast marty
I love your phrase “generous time horizons”! Thank you for putting it so beautifully.
4
Intuition usually is accompanied by a sense of positive feeling
Hope happiness without real regard to complex thought
-the serotonin pathways-when acted upon is often
Impulsive.
When used in the framework of work related decisions-
We often feel quite pleased about our gut feelings-
But they should be carefully re-examined before taking
Serious decisions-
That’s what makes modern medicine more accurate in diagnosis-
But abit less fun.
2
It takes a lot of privilege to live in “A world where opportunity seemed boundless”. Most people around the world live in a reality where there IS something at stake, possibly life and death, with every step they take from childhood on. They put one foot in front of the other and can’t afford to agonize over every decision and whether they’ve lost their intuition.
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@Rebecca
Sort of yes -- but I don;t think agonizing over feelings about your primary relationships is really a problem f privilege - it seems pretty universal. Some in a bind may actually know at a gut level what they want, but think such a move can be disastrous to their survival financially - or literally - and it may be so. Or they can be stuck - again thinking of relationships - in a destructive personal situation yet have lost their own ability to identify their own needs - their own likes - over the years to such a degree that if a miracle happened which removed all financial or fear based barriers to change - they couldn't move - because they have convinced themselves to ignore all that they once felt.
So even where opportunities are not boundless, people are people. Having been poor once, I find it insulting to imply that the struggle to survive meant our emotional lives were less complex.
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As we get older, we amass data and likely find linear analysis is the easiest, but maybe not the best way, to exploit that data. We have no idea of how real AI would work. Somehow the amassing of data will mean an all powerful intelligence. Maybe not. Infinite data may mean no real intellectual leaps, simply faster calculation of concepts we already understand. Aging in some form is the wear and tear of our experiences on our cells. We lose a step and excitement. Intuition may be one of the highest forms of consciousness. Our debris from life may clog up the paths that limits our selves to have that kind of mental excitement. If you do not exercise intuition, do you lose it?
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From a Jungian perspective, intuition is a kind of perception via the unconscious, contrasting with conscious perception like observing a breeze moving leaves on a tree. A sense comes to us from our depths as a sudden awareness. For me, I experience intuition most often around human behavior, but it could be any perceptual awareness that comes to me. Intuition is not a judgment; it’s a form of perception.
The writer is actually talking about the feeling function, which is the capacity to make value judgments in the body separate from thinking and reason. In our thinking culture which puts reason and logic on a pedestal, the capacity to make and rely on the feeling function is generally devalued and tends to become retarded even among naturally feeling type people. Our individual capacity to judge what is right for us can become severely compromised, to the point that we find ourselves looking to others to tell us what matters to us.
This is a serious problem in a world where we’re subjected constantly to external claims about what we should value and accept as right. We may become like leaves in the wind, without individual integrity. The writer’s challenging marriage situation illustrates a psychological dilemma of our age. For example, how can we trust our political and religious leaders when we can’t trust our individual capacities to make value judgments?
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Some might consider this as perceiving the difference between “self” and “Self” — the first being ego based and the second soul based. We develop patterns of thinking to avoid having to trust Self in the moment.
4
The important thing about "intuition" is to know when NOT to rely on it. Read Daniel Kahneman's classic "Thinking, Fast and Slow". Kahneman, Nobel Prize winner for Economics 2004, and his late colleague Amos Tversky, founded the field of Behavioral Economics, and showed that intuitive thinking, which they call System 1, is unreliable for decisions that require deliberation and a gathering of facts.
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@PMN, I've found that when I've followed intuition for the big stuff - job, moving cross-country, etc. - it was first sparked by an intuitive "hit", then I followed up with plenty of research, facts and deliberation.
I think some people think intuition means getting an inspired thought and throwing caution to the wind - but I find it's not that.
My latest example of this is when I moved from one part of NYC to another. Intuition sparked me to look at a neighborhood I knew but was not super familiar with although there was definitely something drawing me there. Did lots of research, worked with a broker, talked to people, walked the area all times of day and evening, and only then did I jump. Turns out to be the perfect place and neighborhood. So glad I listened to my gut since I originally was focused on other areas.
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@KC
I agree with you entirely: you did the right thing by relying on BOTH intuition (Tversky and Kahneman's System 1) and deliberate analysis (System 2) - which is exactly what they recommend. I'm pretty sure that if your research had turned up negative info, you'd have reconsidered your initial attraction.What they advise against is relying on either one alone. An example of the misguided exclusive use of System 2 was Robert McNamara's conduct of the Vietnam war, where any information that could not be "quantified" was ignored in favor of meaningless numbers like body count.
1
@PMN I was raised to rely entirely on intuition. I was told "you're smart, it will naturally come to you, don't overthink it." It didn't start being true until I stopped believing it and started making an effort to think about thinking.
1
Indecision is also a byproduct of greater humility, and if we don’t develop greater humility with age, we are bound to end up something like Trump. Humility is the necessary predicate to wisdom.
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Exactly right, @TWB! Well said!
Thank you, Judi. Cogent and prescient.
2
Try Daniel Kahneman’s book: “Thinking, Fast and Slow”. Daniel Kahneman, winner of the Nobel Prize in Economics, explains the two systems that drive the way we think: the fast, intuitive, and the more deliberate cognitive.
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I’m surprised the author of this study—a psychologist—distinguished study participants as “healthy” or “depressed.” There’s a lot of missing details there; an absence of depression doesn’t necessarily connote good or vibrant health.
“Depressed” versus “non-depressed” might have been better, less loaded descriptors.
“Healthy people were able to quickly distinguish the related words, even without knowing why,” said Carina Remmers, the lead author and a clinical psychologist at the Free University of Berlin. “Depressed people had difficulties doing this, and trusting their decisions.
10
Sometimes you're right, sometimes you're wrong. We make some good decisions and some bad ones. No one's intuition is infallible. That's why love at first sight has only a 50-50 (or so) chance of bringing long-term happiness. Personally, I'm wary of relying solely on intuitive decisions.
And there's no reason to think that not trusting your gut is a bad thing. Why would you think your gut is more trustworthy than your brain?
We're not perfect. None of us. Not one. Intuition is just part of a decision-making armature that helps us do the right thing as often as we can.
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@Binne
Also who gets to decide whether the decision is good or bad?
3
Oh my. If I found myself sobbing on the bathroom floor as my husband browned taco meat, I would think something was wrong with my medication. How does your family feel about this level of "outing" of your relationship? One might be excused for thinking "drama queen."
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@Kay Tee
Such a cold, hurtful comment. When you suppress emotions and intuition too often you deaden yourself. The author hid her despair in the bathroom, she was not forcing anyone to listen to her personal drama. She understood the absurdity of her situation, she sought advice from other perspectives, even her diseased father. She eventually talked things out with her partner. This open hearted approach is positive. Your judgemental approach is destructive.
8
If you're interested in learning more about the nature of intuition, I highly recommend Robert Wright's excellent book, "Why Buddhism Is True."
6
Analysis or "thinking" is logical and linear. Depressed and anxious people "go in circles" as they ruminate, because they can't process the bigger picture, only all the little details. Intuition is a rational function (see Jung) which is non-linear, big picture, pattern recognition, incorporating aspects of real world demands, emotions, values, past experience, future possibilities, instinct, etc. Usually it's good to have thinking process intuition, but if depressed, anxious, confused, it can be hard for thinking not to get stuck.
Not speaking literally, although it might be true, think of it as being open to having your more holistic right brain talking to your left brain. Some people are very left brain dominant, so don't have much access to the pattern recognitions, others just "get" things a lot, but have a hard time explaining, others can smoothly do both.
9
Very cogent article. I think Trauma and nonlocus of control events play a role here.
Wise intuition with its openness to doubt also needs further exploration.
Current events, triggered memories, chronic stress, outside systems that are either broken or failing can interfere with one’s instinct.
Lack of a sounding board or stable sounding board makes a difference as well.
One can have a gift for this ie medical professionals who sense diagnosis and the phrase gut instinct now so relevant with our learning that most neurotransmitters are located in our gut.
Some wisdom traditions in indegeious cultures taught skills and techniques with those who would be trained to help community. Artists and holy ones. And sometimes wise is not intelligence but sound thinking and compassion make it so.
10
Running an intuition or gut feeling past someone else always helps. Our minds are not above presenting ideas to us that need improvement.
15
Love this analysis. In line with the depression and anxiety factors, I wonder how much the shifting national and global political outlook messes with the familiar context that enabled our intuitive thinking until recently. The world looks very different than it did two years ago; perhaps more importantly, it feels very different, and not in a reassuring way (for many of us). If we can’t trust that the world is the way we thought it was for so long, how can we trust the intuitive system that worked in that world?
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Ask any thrid year medical student and they will tell you that indeision and self questioning is a VERY big part of depression, especially in the early stages. I'm wondering why it took the author so long to pick up on that, or the researchers? That's been known for well over 50 years, even though our understanding of depression has evolved.
This article is thought provoking, but written from a mystical viewpoint that there is some sort of fate or magical power to the decisions our brain makes called intuition, and that it is reinforced by her selection of examples that seem to always get it right.
I would ask the readers to think of the many other cases where intuition has failed, with expensive and disastrous results.
I fear the faith in and value of intution as promoted by the author belongs more in movies and works of fiction than in having a feeling of what to choose as something that can be relied upon. Life gives no clues. There is no ESP or psychic guidance.
54
Reid, this sounds like its coming from someone who’s made a lot of poor decisions with a high level of risk aversion. Perhaps your intuition isn’t that good? However, there are numerous studies that show that intuition is a valuable part of being a successful creator, senior manager, and entrepreneur.
5
@JF Let me reassure you that the comments made were based on decades of experience, along with being tasked with being 'the devil's advocate' for a large organization who has a lot to loose if the decisions are not made with an eye on risk.
My comment was to temper the enthusiasm for being reckless and following a pipe dream. or random thought.
Some people can be living in the 60s footloose and fancy free. There are others that those unknowns and inability to turn back time if a major mistake is made due to 'intuition' or poor decision making processes. If it's your life and you are single, not too much hide lost in the fall. When loving relationships and worse yet, children, are involved, there is little room to follow whims.
2
@reid Absolutely agree. Being tuned into personal preferences, experiencing clarity of thought, feeling the thrill of agency are all lovely states of mind. I have experienced insights similar to those the writer describes. Sometimes it all works out great. Sometimes I ignore them and things work out great then too. Some of my "intuitions" have led to relationships that are best described as "A supposedly fun thing I'll never do again," to quote David Foster Wallace.
5
The first three examples you gave relied on information picked up in your environment, plus your feelings. This pair of contexts - one objective, the other subjective - when joined close to the surface of your awareness, developed into a new point of view, a different place to stand and view things within the pair of contexts.
In the relationship struggle, your context pair are your feelings for yourself, plus your feelings for your husband. Both contexts are subjective. They are already joined as a whole that's close to the surface of your awareness - your relationship. The context pair is of long-standing, with braided strands. Your crisis was an expression of not knowing enough. In reaching out to your memory of your dad, you stepped out of your two sets of feelings, into the experience history of someone you trusted, to get the objective element you'd been needing to develop a new point of view, and intuition kicked in as you needed it to.
I love that you wrote about this. Thank you.
11
Perhaps there’s another factor. At twenty we haven’t had all that much experience, so instinct is all we’ve got to go on. But by midlife we’ve learned a great deal, enough to know life is complicated and instinct is not so reliable. The author listed a handful of decisions when instinct worked out, but I’ll bet there were many others when instinct led to the wrong choice.
180
Intuition should improve as one accumulates life experience.
1
@John Ranta
The reason children are so enthusiastic about engaging in the life their parents put in front of them is that they don't know anything else.
The older you get, the more you know that everything you do is also a decision not to do everything else.
I find it useful to cultivate what the Buddhists call "beginner's mind": a balance of enthusiasm and humility.
Daniel Kahneman's book "Thinking fast and slow" was the biggest boost to my intuition. Or rather I should say my ability to trust my intuition. Everyone has intuition, but when depressed, anxious, or as the article author describes in an unfamiliar context, we turn it off.
The biggest thing I got out of the book was an understanding of what situations call for rational thought and which call for trusting intuition. By not trying to trust my intuition in situations where it was untrustable (cognitive biases), I became much more trusting of my intuition in situations where it was valid and useful.
One example of how understanding cognitive biases helps intuition is the cognitive bias towards getting more for less effort. Bad intuition has a tendency to steer towards lower effort. My intuition to watch TV when I should be doing work does not serve me. One of the signals that I can trust my intuition is when it points me toward expending effort and doing hard things. And by following that intuition, it becomes more intuitive to do hard good things.
2
Wow! This is exactly what I was discussing the other day. This article maps my current struggle
I also used to be able to make decisions regarding life so easily. Now I seem stuck and can’t find my way- my intuition
Thanks for sharing
10
In an article in Psychology Today, the author says, "We think of intuition as a magical phenomenon—but hunches are formed out of our past experiences and knowledge."
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/intuition
13
Your intuition tells you that you can’t trust your intuition.
31
Intuition does not work except in very narrow circumstances where the intuitor is a subject matter expert and then it is backed up by decades of experience.
Where intuition does rear its ugly head is a psychological tool to avoid doing the scut work or because we are terrified of a big decision. In the latter case you would probably be served just as well by flipping a coin.
15
And where the intuitor is a person of relative wealth and privilege. A decision gone wrong can be mighty expensive in a myriad of ways. Best to have some solid resources behind you before doing or undoing whatever it is.
When women become wives and mothers, they often learn to put others first. And this is often necessary when dealing with small children. But in the process of raising them and facilitating family life, it's easy to forget your feelings and desires. So intuition goes out the window. If you are not used to knowing what you want, how do you know how to get it?
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Speaking as someone who is in the late stages of a divorce, the decision to split up a long marriage -- especially when you have young kids -- isn't well suited to a single flash of intuition. But intuition was nevertheless important in my decision to seek a divorce. I experienced years and years of intermittent moments of thinking "This feels deeply wrong on a gut level" that culminated, over time, in the realization that I would never truly feel safe or loved or be able to reach several important life goals unless my marriage ended. Ultimately it made sense to listen to the long-term pattern of cues my intuition was providing, even though no single flash of intuition made the decision for me.
129
@OCPA Spot on; as an attorney trained argue every side of a topic, I was wracked with indecision as I felt my marriage ending - a picture of a trip to France would make me question how I could possibly imagine ending it; then merely walking through the door at the end of the day, feeling a weight of "I don't wanna do this" at each step, would argue the opposite. "What does it all mean", my Socratic-trained brain would try to assess. In the end, with help from a great therapist, I worked to cut through the "chaff" of word-based thought and find my gut reactions - what was my immediate reaction, before my forebrain could kick in, to various events? It was from that that I was able to realize that yes, however difficult, the decision to end the marriage was the correct one.
9
Thanks for this, it's very helpful as I transition from working to retirement!
4
Perhaps defining what is meant by intuition would be useful. I see that the author made certain choices in her life that were simply that: choices. Intuition is this squishy awareness not of the real measured world that needs cultivation and practice to have any affect. It is a function of our brain that is minimized and misunderstood- as it cannot be measured, quantified. No doubt intuitives, seers and others have a finely honed sense of intuition
4
Why say you imagined your father speaking to you? Perhaps he did. Someone said no one is truly dead until no one remembers him. And the Bible speaks of that still small voice within. Imagination? I think not. There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy: a voice said to me. <wink>
21
Ms. Ketteler's article would be more informative if it defined what she means by intuition. Is it knowledge without knowing how that knowledge was acquired or is it just acting on feelings rather than thoughts or something else? The problem with "intuition" is that you tend to trust it when it is validated by future events which is not unlike the person who consults a seer and concludes from events that she can predict the future.
I suggest the book, "How do we know: An introduction to epistemology" by James Dew.
8
"study subjects" - rather "participants".
The question is, when you decided to marry your husband was that a decision reached through your intuition? Sounds like it might have been.
If so, and you were now considering ending that, maybe relying on intuition is not so good after all?
19
I think we always know what we want to do. And in my experience, as I have gotten older, I am more willing to home in on that instinct without conflicting "shoulds and woulds".
In the past I would have avoided my instincts about what i wanted to fit in with social norms and as I get older I can do what I want.
23
I find it interesting, but not surprising, that both flashes of inspiration the author mentions came to her while she was exercising - walking to class and running. I imagine this is related to the degradation of intuition when stressed or anxious. During exercise, feelings of well-being increase and so it seems logical (at least to me) that gut feelings during these periods are better trusted or more accurately reflective of our conscious and subconscious desires and wants. Well darn....I think I’ve just convinced myself I should start jogging again at 53.
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Sit down and think rationally about jogging again at 53. You got this far and your joints are presumably strong and pain-free. Maybe a treadmill to avoid the hard pounding, maybe a bike or elliptical. Your intuition tells you that you can increase your moments of gut feelings with intense exercise. Now rational thought, developed through years of expertise, should take over and build a list of options with advantages and disadvantages of each. Keep those endorphins running without the pain.
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@Irene G...Great post and insight. While working out may not be a panacea. I do agree that I am usually less conflicted after a workout....I guess I will be dusting off my gym membership too.
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Intuition is a prediction of the future. It’s almost like throwing dice: if the outcome is good a few times (like you were correct that your husband can quit his job and be a stay-at-home dad and things will work out), you start to trust your decisions as examples of “good intuition.”
But life is far too complicated to make accurate predictions about careers or relationships, and as we age, there is a regression to the norm.
Naturally, the failures start to add up.
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Nice and inspiring article.
As far as I have experienced, intuition has different faces as long as you progress in life. Decisions that you make when you are younger are based on a sort of intuition by determination, whereas when you get older, intuition is more a backpack of experiences that you are charging, not necessarily a burden, that helps you make the right decsisions, which in any case you have to manage once you have made your choice. Does it make sense?
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