Lovely homage to your mom and her legacy. beautifully written
2
This is truly a beautiful piece of writing and I enjoyed it, but my thoughts go differently. I am a mother. We lived in Canada for over 10 years. I loved Thanksgiving, loved decorating the table with beautiful autumn leaves, loved cooking the turkey and sharing it with family and friends... but... if my son did not like the turkey, did not like the long process of preparing all the side dishes, I would not want him to do that for the "remembrance of me" (though I am still alive for now). I would rather try to pick those moments that he truly enjoyed, to address more our connection, not the tradition. Another article in NYT just today - an author driving home with her dad for an hour and not saying much. Is it not sad? Is it not sad that we are next to our children - cooking, driving them, eating - but not saying much? Somebody else here commented that she would be very grateful to read such piece of writing about her thanksgiving. Hmmm... it is a beautiful piece, yes, full of gratitude, but to me - no, I would not be truly happy, I think, to read that from my son. I would doubt that I did the right thing with all the cooking and not much talking. I think. I certainly compliment the author for a beautifully written piece, but just want to share my thoughts as a mother. Thank you.
I understand your preference for verbal sharing--but is not also cooking side by side in silence a form of communion? (Even silence broken by the television!) ;+)
I read this when it was first published and now I've come back, to read it again. A beautiful essay, about a beautiful mom, by a beautiful son.
1
What a wonderful essay on your Mom and the Thanksgiving turkey. A joy to read and cry over. Blessings to you and yours!
I️ tearfully enjoyed your essay; it’s never about the turkey but the memories it brings forth.
1
Such truth, if I had read the comments before the essay I would have doubted all those readers’ and their tears. Now I find myself with equal tears and a runny nose too. However, like his mom, I do love the follow-up turkey sandwiches!
2
Thank you for writing this, it made my day.
2
Wow, what a beautifully written and evocative piece! Thank you, Mr. Morris, you are doing your Mother proud!
2
Delightful! As the only single granddaughter, I was called upon, year after year, to help my aging grandma make the Thanksgiving meal. I spent the night before, and was up by her bidding at five a.m. She was four-and-a-half feet tall and could barely lift a pot. Many's the time I was elbow-deep up a bird butt and tutted for not doing it properly. Nor did I know how to mash potatoes, in her opinion. And yes, there had to be brown sugar in the carrots or else. I sigh -- she's gone now, but I wouldn't mind one more 5 a.m. wake-up call. And I sure learned how to cook a delicious bird.
12
Mr. Morris, you are my favorite writer. I always go right to anything you’ve done.
Thank you.
8
This lovely essay brought me to tears, so much love and tradition. Thank you.
12
Oh, I love this. Thank you, Wesley Morris.
6
Such a beautiful story
4
And I am her son. I love this.
7
I'm glad I am not the only one that got in their feelings while reading this. The hardest part about this time of year is the memories of lost loved ones. I also feel remarkably fortunate to have so many fond memories of those same people that I can sit and think about. I come from a family of cookers, and so many lines had me nodding my head in consent. Thank you, Mr. Morris.
15
Oh, man, crying by the last paragraph. My mom passed away three weeks ago. She, with the help of my grandmother, did this every Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter (albeit with ham then, of course). I'll never again wake up to the fragrance of butter, onion, and celery sauteeing. I'll be doing the cooking forever more.
This is part of the best of The New York Times and why I'll always be a subscriber. Beautiful writing, Mr. Morris, and wonderful memories. Thank you.
28
Your mother would love this! Thank you for sharing her with us and Happy Thanksgiving!
11
I was so excited to see the headline on this story, about his mother putting her foot in it. Dora Charles, a lifelong Savannah resident and author of A REAL SOUTHERN COOK (Houghton) used that phrase when describing what she aims for with her cooking for a film made about her by Southern Foodways. Almost no one had ever heard that line before. His bio says Mr. Morris grew up in Philadelphia but there it is, the highest possible compliment to a black cook giving it her all - and now it's in the New York Times. Bravo!
12
Thank you, this brought back memories of my Thanksgiving pasts. My mother too always cooked a Thanksgiving turkey, usually perfectly, along with the many sides. Sweet memories, never to be repeated. This year my only [at this point] guest will be my vegan, gluten-free brother. With one exception, he'll be able to eat all the dishes, but I must have dressing...I think all the food, preparation, the turkey and/or dressing are really just expressions of love. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.
8
The bird remains the centerpiece no matter how much angst goes into getting it to the table. I believe in cooking two birds -- the first (and foremost) is the old tried-and-true, slathered with butter and then hit with salt and pepper inside and out, and stuffed with celery, onions, sage, and croutons that have a slurry of butter and broth stirred in. The second is whatever-the-hell hits my fancy from my cookbook collection, or a magazine's bold boast of this year's "best ever", or an on-line recipe touting nirvana. Carry on, Wesley, because you acknowledge another truth -- the action is on the oft-served other protein and the array of sides. Happy Turkey Day!
5
It's never too late to start a new tradition and replace cruelty with kindness by choosing an animal-friendly feast.
5
What a wonderfully written piece. I'm misty eyed at work. This reminds me of many of my family members who are no longer here. We had the best holiday gatherings. I miss them. *reaches for the Kleenex and goes to the bathroom for a silent cry*
10
My family has never killed a turkey and eaten its flesh for Thanksgiving because we believe that it's wrong to kill sentient beings. And it's certainly not a compassionate form of gratitude.
4
Thank you, Mr. Morris, for such a beautiful piece!! Happy Thanksgiving!!
11
What a wonderful story about tradition and family. It's what makes the Times distinctive in this age of digital. Wesley is truly one of the great writers in the Times.
5
Thank you for sharing your story. My mom is gone now; nothing will ever replace the smell of onions, celery and butter (for the stuffing) when I woke up on Thanksgiving morning. Like your mom, my mom was up at 4 AM while the rest of us were asleep (and yes, she had worked the day before and had been up late doing prep work) and as a child I had no idea how much work was involved. But she was in her element, as we hosted 25+ people for Thanksgiving. I would give anything to wake up Thursday and smell stuffing fixings.
12
My family is thankful every Thanksgiving because no animals were slaughtered for us to eat. It's a tradition we observe every other day, too.
9
You might not kill animals but you do kill joy. I cannot believe this is your response to this writer's tender memories of his mother and the holiday. I loved every single word of his piece and am really angry that you felt it necessary to post your comment. This whole feature is about becoming an American. I don't think everyone has to eat meat and I've loved descriptions of roasted cauliflower with gravy, a Hindu family's response to the feast. I just think you should respect your fellow human beings as much as you respect animals.
48
This story is not about turkey.
10
Traditions help bind us together as family, but so does creating new ones that reflect our values and the people we are now. Turkey used to be on the table in my family, but now my mom lovingly prepares a vegan centerpiece (plus the best part--those innumerable side dishes that Mr. Morris mentions) because she knows that staring at the body of a bird who suffered and was killed just for a meal would leave her youngest feeling empty on this holiday of gratitude. For that, I will ever be thankful.
9
This brought back to me so many memories of MY mother and Christmas - since I am Canadian, we don't celebrate Thanksgiving at this time of year (although we also have turkey at Thanksgiving in October). My mom also woke up ridiculously early to stuff the turkey and get him in the oven so he would be cooked by the time company arrived to eat. You just nailed the entire process! Thanks for the memories.
8
Thank you for this essay. I love turkey and have a husband who fusses like your mom did. I am sure my son or daughter will continue the tradition long after he dies. The writing is outstanding!!!
10
Thanks a lot. I can't stop crying.
10
The Thanksgiving tradition of being with family is lovely, and I celebrate every year with my family over a vegan Thanksgiving meal. Not having a turkey doesn't take away from having a delicious meal or enjoying togetherness. What it does take away is the immense cruelty involved with raising and killing a turkey. I am thankful for my family, and I am thankful that no animal will have to be slaughtered on my account.
7
That's one mighty fine column to grace the NY Times. A toast to the author's mother!
28
The paragraph where you explained putting her foot into it, but not the turkey, which needed the full arm.... made me smile. The ending? Made me hopeful for the future. It is an interesting journey- how we end up doing things we thought only our parents were supposed to do, right? But they're not here anymore...
9
Good son. Happy Thanksgiving!
16
Wonderful memory about the centerpiece of Thanksgiving.
7
Thanks, Wesley. My season of being mushy and grateful is underway, and you have given me a great beginning with this story. I, too, hope that my son will have memories like yours, even though my culinary expertise is not always so praiseworthy. My love for my son and his amazing wife [and now the grandson they have blessed me with] is boundless. They are the treasure of my life, just as I am sure that you were your mother's treasure. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.
12
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story. The tears it brought to my eyes truly caught me by surprise.
14
Wesley,
Your Mother is my Mother. Your story is my story. This shared piece on your precious memories has made me appreciate my Mother even more. It comes at a time when I had the nerve to let the thought of skipping Thanksgiving dwell in my mind. I realize how blessed I am to share another Thanksgiving with my Mother. I will be in the kitchen, her bona fide sous chef. Thank you.
23
Wow. What a wonderful tribute.
Thank you for sharing some of who your Mom was in a beautifully written piece.
29
I can only hope that my sons remember me and our holiday as eloquently as this on Thanksgiving after I'm gone.
Beautiful writing, thank you- and Happy Thanksgiving.
40