Thank you for this tender, inspiring piece about courage and love. Years ago, my daughter lived on daily medications that subtly changed her ability to focus but kept her free from experiencing another lengthy, life-threatening status seizure. It was always the shoe ready to drop. We lived with anxiety about another one happening. and I felt tightly wound and anxious much of the time. She remained seizure free, however, and one day right after her 8th birthday my husband pulled into the driveway from their field trip to the hospital for one of her twice yearly EEG's, and announced to me with tears on his cheeks, "We start tapering off her meds today." Our big fear was that, in tapering off, another seizure would threaten her life. We watched, waited, loved her. We made a decision to send her for a month-long session at a Quaker summer camp for girls in Vermont. Leaving her there the next summer was the hardest thing I've ever done. The Green Mountains were so huge, and she was so tiny. I believed they would swallow her up. But the leap of faith we took in sending her to camp is one of the best parenting decisions we ever made. She and I managed to separate from each other for that month, and by the time she was 14, she was a regular at her summer camp and was off and running in her life. Years later when she was married on an organic farm not far from where she went to camp, I was conscious of and deeply grateful for the courage that mothers are often able to access.
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Ah such a refreshing story about overcoming fear and living life to its fullest. Thank you for the reminder.
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As the mother of a child with epilepsy, I hear you and commend you. I wish for you many wonderful nights in nature with your precious children!
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Anything but fear-less, at least you are courageously working to liberate yourself and to set a good example for your children.
Where is their father?
Where is their father?
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Where is the father??
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And if the other parent (whom may or may not be male and may or may not be present) were male, would you ask, "where is their mother?"
Please park yourself with your question and ponder it a while, thank you.
Please park yourself with your question and ponder it a while, thank you.
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I enjoyed reading this very much. A young adult novel set in the outdoors and written as poetically as this piece will be well received.
My wife and I were both big on the outdoors before we had our two children. We gave up the climbing long ago, but even hiking has become an ordeal, not because of the fear, but because our children are city slickers who prefer Pokemon Go to the real thing. If we can have books inspiring children to love being in nature, that would help. But first we'll need a book inspiring children...to read books. Yikes, what did we do wrong?!?
My wife and I were both big on the outdoors before we had our two children. We gave up the climbing long ago, but even hiking has become an ordeal, not because of the fear, but because our children are city slickers who prefer Pokemon Go to the real thing. If we can have books inspiring children to love being in nature, that would help. But first we'll need a book inspiring children...to read books. Yikes, what did we do wrong?!?
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I was the child with epilepsy who's mother spent all of her time focusing on what I couldn't do because I might have a seizure. I resented her for making me miss things like youth camping trips because I might have a seizure. Life is meant to be lived. Kids need adventures so they can learn about the world and how to thrive in it.
Keep taking your kids on adventures. When they grow up and tell stories about their childhood let those stories reflect all of the fun crazy things they got to do with their mom. This is especially important for your son with epilepsy. He needs to know that his disease can be managed and that he is perfectly capable of living a full life so that he can thrive as an adult.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Keep taking your kids on adventures. When they grow up and tell stories about their childhood let those stories reflect all of the fun crazy things they got to do with their mom. This is especially important for your son with epilepsy. He needs to know that his disease can be managed and that he is perfectly capable of living a full life so that he can thrive as an adult.
Thank you for sharing your story.
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scary ! - but children love to be scared.
risky ! - but children need to take risks to learn.
bug bites - I can do without those.
risky ! - but children need to take risks to learn.
bug bites - I can do without those.
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Well put. The best thing a parent can do to build the citizen in a child is to take that child hiking, camping, and boating. If the country were led by really smart people, every family would have those possibilities.
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Well done, Rebecca. You have given your boys a gift they can enjoy and open and re-open all their lives. As a lifelong outdoor bum and retired teacher of adventure, I give you a standing ovation. You have also given that gift back to yourself.
Your comment about safety being in your hands is spot-on, and a fact that too many would-be outdoorsy people (especially parents) miss. Safety is not in the gear, it's in the head of the person using it.
Terrific piece. Been here, done this. Thank you.
Your comment about safety being in your hands is spot-on, and a fact that too many would-be outdoorsy people (especially parents) miss. Safety is not in the gear, it's in the head of the person using it.
Terrific piece. Been here, done this. Thank you.
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Thanks for this. I'm also the mom of a kid with epilepsy and I know how that fear can create a bunker mentality. My daughter is 11 now and I've found that sometimes the fear wins and sometimes it doesn't. One thing that helps is when my daughter is clear what she wants, I can get behind that in a way that I can't always do just when I think something would be good. So we get on airplanes and ride roller coaster and sometimes I feel ill in a way that doesn't have to do with the curves and the drops. But I try to not let that be the only things that controls our choices. I know that feeling of when , "fear slips away." I love those moments of grace and the courage to act on them!
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Thank you for these magical words. I read them as I lay beside my sleeping 2-month old miracle baby. At 34 years old and ending my maternity leave soon, I am in a constant state of question and muddled with new fears. My mother's partner of 20 years passed of a sudden heart attack this past Sunday. My baby will never meet him and truly, mortality looms. Despite our shifting aging selves, her youthfulness deserves and needs the adventure. She is ripe for it. Thank you for this example.
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Congratulations to you and your beautiful baby!
Beautifully told, Rebecca. Lovely writing, and you're a wonderful mom. What lucky boys!
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It’s not about a camping trip; that doesn’t prove anything, one way or another, except maybe to you. Every day, in many ways, your boys see you and *know* that you’re fearless. It’s about all the stories they could tell about you that wouldn’t even seem like stories, or stories worthy of note, to you, but they are to them.
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Ed, I think going camping with her kids was about regaining her fearlessness in life, not just about the outdoors.
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