I've been to many islands in this archipelago and they can be so magical! My husband, a plant ecologist, asked me to marry him while we hiked down into the volcano of Haleakala. We continue to visit them and travel off the beaten track and to other archipelagos in the world. My advice? Skip the tourist track!
3
"A Kilauea situation has happened in Jed's Pampers..."
Speaking as a mother and a writer: best line ever.
Speaking as a mother and a writer: best line ever.
4
Please,please...more articles like this! The number one source of income in the state is tourism but what the tourism bureau won't tell potential tourists include some of the following. The entire West Side of Kauai is drenched in chemical, poisonous pesticides which the state won't regulate and tourist drive though at there peril on the way to Kokee State Park. Driving the five miles through Kapaa (there is only one major highway on Kauai and it does not circumnavigate the island) can take upward on 2 hours. Great if you are trying to catch a plane to return to wherever. The governor will not release money to improve the highways on the neighbor islands as he is determinedt to build a useless skytrain on Oahu. So plan to do a little "go-cart" driving to avoid the innumerable potholes every 10 feet. It is one of the most expensive tourist destinations in the world. So bring your cash, your gas mask, car seat cushions and enjoy.
3
A cut above the norm for NYT travel articles on Hawaii, but definitely an "inside the bubble," elitist piece. People who feel entitled to be grumpy about a trip to a place that is on many working Americans' bucket lists need to check their privilege.
That said, the warm ponds are best avoided becuase they do teem with bacteria including MRSA. Many who "bathe" there and live without modern plumbing have it. Even if night tides flush the ponds, doubtful, later arrivals no doubt relished the experience of swimming in water that soaked a toddler's diaper...check your privilege and your spawn's germs, dude!
That said, the warm ponds are best avoided becuase they do teem with bacteria including MRSA. Many who "bathe" there and live without modern plumbing have it. Even if night tides flush the ponds, doubtful, later arrivals no doubt relished the experience of swimming in water that soaked a toddler's diaper...check your privilege and your spawn's germs, dude!
9
Poke is not a "sashimi salad."
12
What an offensive article. For this former New Yorker who has lived in Hawaii for 12 years, the author totally missed all of the wonderful things about the people and culture that make this a very special place. Visitors need to get out of the tourist traps and experience the real Hawaii. What a shame that the NY Times chose to publish this cranky and untrue piece.
21
This article is a great example of why journalists make better travel writers than "travel writers". An enjoyable, funny and realistic read!
4
We adore Honolulu, so much of EVERYTHING, best people watching place ever!
The entire island of Oahu contains everything you need or want to see or do.
Ranches to the north, culture of a big city university town, beaches to the east to die for..........and,the wonderful history of Pearl Harbor area................the people and the different cultures make it a true melting pot...........
The entire island of Oahu contains everything you need or want to see or do.
Ranches to the north, culture of a big city university town, beaches to the east to die for..........and,the wonderful history of Pearl Harbor area................the people and the different cultures make it a true melting pot...........
2
totally understand he was being oh so cleverly satirical in order to show the real and beautiful Hawaii. yet the arrogance of the writing i find extremely off putting. there were ways to write this that weren't,well, so arrogant, so 'look at me and how cleverly i can mock touristic nonsense while still enjoying said nonsense. i am too cool for school. please bask in my ability to suss out the real Hawaii.' ugh. much better to have had a Hawaiian write about Hawaii. Perhaps the author could stick to mocking things closer to home; perhaps hipsters in his hometown? or men who have their wives sit in the car with the baby while they party on?
16
I winter in Maui. I have a wonderful condo in Kaanapali. I would kill myself before I would go to Honolulu, it has the recent worst traffic in the U.S. Luau? A total rip off, fake to the core. Rows and rows of China made souvenirs shops. Every fast food restaurant known to man. You can see the U.S.S. Arizona on your laptop.
Go to Kauai, even for a day and you will find perfect quiet and the beauty of Manele Bay, Kauai is beyond beautiful. Drive the south road out of Lahaina and see the surfers on the north shore. Eat amazingly fresh fish, lay on a quiet beach, enjoy the beauty of the flora, which is the most amazing that I have see anywhere in the world. And, the weather is amazing, 80 every day, 68 every night. No bugs. You are in the U.S.A. American health care. Lovely people. The list goes on.
Go to Kauai, even for a day and you will find perfect quiet and the beauty of Manele Bay, Kauai is beyond beautiful. Drive the south road out of Lahaina and see the surfers on the north shore. Eat amazingly fresh fish, lay on a quiet beach, enjoy the beauty of the flora, which is the most amazing that I have see anywhere in the world. And, the weather is amazing, 80 every day, 68 every night. No bugs. You are in the U.S.A. American health care. Lovely people. The list goes on.
7
Perhaps the author should have done a little more homework before writing the offensive lines: "...Hawaiian men with painted faces do a grunting spear-dance and stick their tongues out tikistyle. To my wife, this smacks uncomfortably of minstrelsy, which, yes, it does." The Maori men who have such face tattoos and who perform traditional Haka, which include fearsome Pukana (facial expressions which include wide-open eyes and sticking their tongues way out of their mouths), probably don't consider themselves minstrels, but important cultural conduits to anyone who wants to look further than their own disaffected and world-weary noses.
Also, part of the compact of living in Hawaii is accepting that all kinds of people--including the sorts who would book a "cheesy" luau or wear tacky aloha garb over their hot pink skin--will come to our shores. In fact, some of us actually believe that all of these people *deserve* to enjoy the natural beauty they have traveled so far and paid so much to see. Their joy reminds us that we islanders have access to this level of beauty and joy every single day.
Also, part of the compact of living in Hawaii is accepting that all kinds of people--including the sorts who would book a "cheesy" luau or wear tacky aloha garb over their hot pink skin--will come to our shores. In fact, some of us actually believe that all of these people *deserve* to enjoy the natural beauty they have traveled so far and paid so much to see. Their joy reminds us that we islanders have access to this level of beauty and joy every single day.
30
Exactly. It's people presenting their own culture as the choose. Why does it have to pass muster with some other culture. So s e n s e t i v e.
2
Maori culture has nothing to do with Hawaii (outside of shared Polynesian ancestry), so passing off the Maori war dances as part of a Hawaiian luau is about as culturally accurate as a show at Epcot.
5
it is very common for lu'au to depict dances from all over the islands: tahitian, samoan, maori, hawaiian...as the voyagers of the hokule'a have shown, we are all connected. and who says they are passing it off as hawaiian culture? in my experience, that is not the case. just bc this author assumed it does not make it so. he makes a lot of assumptions in this article...
3
Who are you wells ,and what else have you written? You captured the highs and low of Hawaii and made me laugh out loud.!! thank you
4
I lived in Hawaii for five years. The Aloha spirit is real, so is the sense of Ohana. But you won't find it at tourist luaus, with costumed dancers. And you won't find it among the high-rise hotels of Waikiki, or at national chains like Baskin Robbins.
11
Alright all of you gripy and literal masses! Read it again. The guy had a great time and thought it was beautiful and magical. This was meant to be funny and it is funny. I just returned home from the big island myself. I stood on one of the most beautiful beaches and valley I have ever seen. Wild horses came up to greet me. I drove through a lot of cold lava to get there and it does look a lot like a huge brownie...really.
10
You got duped by either your travel agent, your own ignorance, or your own snarky approach to life. Should have visited Maui -- you wasted your time on Oahu. Big Island is always worth seeing, as you finally discovered in the lava field. Maui is incredibly beautiful, if you are willing to put aside your preconceived notion of Hawaii and open your eyes. So is Kauai, another island you skipped. We lived on Maui for 6+ years in the early '80s, and happily retired here last year, after almost 30 years on the Mainland. Here for good. And it's really, really good.
6
The one good thing about this sarcastic article is that it will discourage others with his attitude from coming to Hawaii. We don't want his kind here. The comment that really annoyed me was calling a luau hula show "a minstrelsy" show! How insulting to the native Hawaiian culture and how insensitive to the love of beauty, nature, and kindness that imbues all of the music and dancing. Hawaiians are very proud of their old culture. The writer and his wife obviously feel that the only worthwhile, and actual, culture is Western. So please stay far away and tell your friends to never visit. We want to keep the kindness, generosity, beauty, of Hawaii free from them. All they do is leave garbage and dirty diapers while treating local people with disdain. And by the way, Polynesians sailed in wooden canoes with vegetal material sails for hundreds of years between the South Pacific and Hawaii without using western metal or technology. They still do. Their navigational techniques are far more sophisticated than that developed only a few centuries ago in the western world. I could go on and on.
13
Thank you Wills Tower! This is a pretty accurate representation of my adoptive home (45 years since leaving the mid-west). I was delighted that you were able to drill down through the banal crust (Waikiki, etc.) and discover some of the truly beautiful things about Hawaii and Aloha.
3
Well written. I like that.
4
Luckily we only spent a few hours on Oahu, before flying to Molikai'i . As someone in line at the airport said as we were checking in our bags - no one goes to Molokai'i, but if you want to experience the real Hawaii, not the tourist version you definitely should. There's only one place to stay, and every Friday night the locals come from all over the island to sing and play music, as they have been doing for years. No grass skirts - those are Polynesian, not Hawaiian, and by the way, the word luau doesn't mean "feast" , but the leaf the food is served on.
We spent a week on a small boat adventure cruise and visited 4 of the islands. It was one of the most amazing weeks of my life- snorkeling with reef fish, green sea turtles, and at night with giant Manta rays, and the whales! Spending hours watching whales right off our boat, including the morning a cow and her calf, and an escort male hung out just off the stern. Our naturalist lowered a microphone into the water one night, delighting all of us with whale songs. After our cruise ended at Kona on the Big Island, we rented a car and worked our way around the island- hiking in Volcanoes National Park, and staying in a lovely little hotel in Hilo where the morning coffee was excellent, and the papayas and banana bread were free, along with the loan of an umbrella, & maps. At night the coqui frogs serenaded us to sleep. A
We spent a week on a small boat adventure cruise and visited 4 of the islands. It was one of the most amazing weeks of my life- snorkeling with reef fish, green sea turtles, and at night with giant Manta rays, and the whales! Spending hours watching whales right off our boat, including the morning a cow and her calf, and an escort male hung out just off the stern. Our naturalist lowered a microphone into the water one night, delighting all of us with whale songs. After our cruise ended at Kona on the Big Island, we rented a car and worked our way around the island- hiking in Volcanoes National Park, and staying in a lovely little hotel in Hilo where the morning coffee was excellent, and the papayas and banana bread were free, along with the loan of an umbrella, & maps. At night the coqui frogs serenaded us to sleep. A
8
What fantastic, vivid writing! Thanks for this escape.
1
I definitely know a few spots on Kauai where I could be right now and forget about the news
5
I loved this unusual take on a travel article and thought that the readers who were upset that he was bashing Hawaii missed the point. He described the paradise in the beginning through the lens of a jaded tourist, but he slowly discovered the free, non-touristy places and became enchanted. His yearning to stay with the lava when he had to be torn away and leave paradise (and return to the dreadful political news of the country) was poignant.
6
Loved the writer's entertaining and original perspective. Best I've read. Love the pics. This makes me want to go visit HA again.
5
Wells Tower? Was he from Chicago?
2
nice photos! well done:)
Having been to four major islands spread over 13 visits people always ask whether I have a favorite, to which I answer "it's like asking who's your favorite child". (Although The Big Island is a bit more golden.) It's easy for me to love The Hawaiian Hilton in Waikiki (that view!) as much as it is to walk along the uneven pahoepahoe to gaze at lava flow on the B.I.; it's easy for me to cry in the Kahili room at the Bishop Museum as it is listening to Hawaii 78 while driving to the Hamakua coast, or Hana, or Ke'e Beach. I still have a profound memory of young Japanese parents with their diapered child sitting in a floaty chair at Kahalu'u Beach, all smiling as gentle waves lifted the chair up and down--said child must be over 21 now but the memory remains.
2
I think this artical is great read. I appreciate the sarcasm, because it's true and authentic unlike much of what has been built in Hawaii solely to please tourist. The author sees the belly of the beast, unlike many visisters. I was born and raised on the big island and can personally tell you that growing up here was amazing, the experiences are magical. Likewise the emotional implosion caused by the realization that your home is perceived as a fantasy world is pretty devastating. Honestly if you think this artical is off touch with reality, stay at your hotel and don't leave for any other reason then your the flight home.
6
Thank for this laugh out loud funny, well written article. Indeed a welcome respite from the news.
4
Wow! There are so many (non-touristy) things to do in Hawaii. The author missed the boat. I went to Oahu and Maui years ago and would love to go back to visit the other less inhabited islands. I thought about moving there recently but ultimately decided against it. It's a hard place to live but it's also a very spiritual land. I'd like to spend at least a month there when I return - 5 to 7 days isn't enough.
1
I have never read anything by Wells Tower before but I am a fan now. A tip of the hat to all involved in getting such a smart and funny piece published. A welcome relief from the mournful drumbeat of national news.
2
Folks, this is satire. Brilliantly done with no disrespect to anyone. Having spent many vacations in Hawaii, having studied Hawaiian history, having experienced both the ridiculous and the sublime, I have learned how to treasure both and gravitate towards the sublime. Mahalo for the laughs.
4
I read this article while vacationing in Hawaii. I was just in Wakiki, and I just finished getting dunked by a 3 ft. wave at Kaanapali beach in Maui. I have been to the islands 4 times. What I will say is this: They are the best way to escape the the trials and tribulations of the world, bar none. Especially in the Trump era. Never mind that Kim Jung-on is working feverishly to target the islands with nuclear missiles. Never mind the rest of the US is falling to pieces as the clown in Washington fumbles making America great again. Hawaii never slipped from being great. It is ono. I will keep returning for its spirit and beauty.
4
Though clearly the product of a professional writer, this article offers little of the sense of the place that good travel writing should give readers. But I don't blame Mr. Tower for that, as his family trip to some of the most tourist-infested parts of Hawaii gave him little idea of what Hawaii is about.
Many tourists spend their vacation solely within the "ghetto" of Waikiki or in Maui's Kaanapali, which has all the crowds but none of the peculiar colorful charm that makes Waikiki genuinely worth a visit. They may have enjoyed a fun-and-sun family vacation, but they experienced almost none of Hawaii.
If this article has piqued the interest of Hawaii-skeptic readers like Mr. Tower, I have a radical suggestion for a first trip. Take ten days. Spend the first week on Molokai, and the rest in Waikiki before heading home. The order of this itinerary is critical!
Molokai comes closest to the "real Hawaii," as it existed before the red dirt sprouted asphalt and high-rise condos. Molokai has no resorts, no nightlife, and no "royal" luaus. Exploring the island reveals a largely unspoiled rural tropical back-country, whose small population has the highest proportion of native Hawaiians. They prefer to keep their island undeveloped. After a week of relaxation and disconnection, you'll be ready for the culture shock of Waikiki.
I actually took that trip (my seventh visit to Hawaii) with a friend who had never been to Hawaii. It had the intended effect on him.
Many tourists spend their vacation solely within the "ghetto" of Waikiki or in Maui's Kaanapali, which has all the crowds but none of the peculiar colorful charm that makes Waikiki genuinely worth a visit. They may have enjoyed a fun-and-sun family vacation, but they experienced almost none of Hawaii.
If this article has piqued the interest of Hawaii-skeptic readers like Mr. Tower, I have a radical suggestion for a first trip. Take ten days. Spend the first week on Molokai, and the rest in Waikiki before heading home. The order of this itinerary is critical!
Molokai comes closest to the "real Hawaii," as it existed before the red dirt sprouted asphalt and high-rise condos. Molokai has no resorts, no nightlife, and no "royal" luaus. Exploring the island reveals a largely unspoiled rural tropical back-country, whose small population has the highest proportion of native Hawaiians. They prefer to keep their island undeveloped. After a week of relaxation and disconnection, you'll be ready for the culture shock of Waikiki.
I actually took that trip (my seventh visit to Hawaii) with a friend who had never been to Hawaii. It had the intended effect on him.
3
It seems that most commentators were fooled by ironic curmudgeon persona the author puts on. I thought this was a very entertaining read, and through all the sardonic comments, it's clear the author does, in the end, appreciate the majesty of Hawaii.
1
You seem like the kind of tourist we shake our heads at in Hawaii. No matter your intent you didn't leave your mainland behind and you chose the most touristy pursuits.
1
Snobbish and cynical. Not be corrected by the AirBnB owner bout his real name as a sign of friendliness? What about the owner never gave a hood about whether this grumpy writer got his name right or not? Having good wifi is evil in Hawaii? Give me a break!
1
Having visited Hawaii 8 years in a row now -- there's no place I'd rather be.
However I'd rather be almost anywhere else rather than Waikiki or many parts of Maui. There's just way too many people who are enthralled by insipid sites and expensive bland food.
I think the one of the best part of Hawaii are it's people. There's a casualness that feels a world away from NY or any other city. Sure real estate and cost of living is expensive, but I've never seen more concentration of plastic tarps and pickup trucks. What's not to love about an affordable plate lunch with fresh local fish and savory pork. What's not to love about playing a round of golf at the local course in t-shirts and ripped shorts. What's not to love about people and culture comprised of dozens of different origins (Polynesian, British, Chinese, Japanese, etc). A trip to Hawaii without hearing some Pidgin and eating some Spam is an incomplete one.
If this doesn't sound like fun, the there is always Aulani the Disney resort on Oahu. To each there own I guess.
However I'd rather be almost anywhere else rather than Waikiki or many parts of Maui. There's just way too many people who are enthralled by insipid sites and expensive bland food.
I think the one of the best part of Hawaii are it's people. There's a casualness that feels a world away from NY or any other city. Sure real estate and cost of living is expensive, but I've never seen more concentration of plastic tarps and pickup trucks. What's not to love about an affordable plate lunch with fresh local fish and savory pork. What's not to love about playing a round of golf at the local course in t-shirts and ripped shorts. What's not to love about people and culture comprised of dozens of different origins (Polynesian, British, Chinese, Japanese, etc). A trip to Hawaii without hearing some Pidgin and eating some Spam is an incomplete one.
If this doesn't sound like fun, the there is always Aulani the Disney resort on Oahu. To each there own I guess.
Absolutely fantastic writing. Thanks.
I lived in Hawaii for ten years. Mr. Tower didn't get it right. ALl the overpriced stuff on Waikiki? with a little research he would havelearned the price drops 30% as soon as you move off Waikiki into McCully or other districts.
Travelling with small kids? been there done that. If he was having problems with the kid, don't blame it on Hawaii. You can fly 5,000 miles to see an exotic destination with a two-year-old and all they want to do is play in the sandbox. If inexpensive was the goal, he should have left the kid behind, or gone to Florida. There's nice kid-friendly beaches here too!
$87 dinner? shoulda bought a plate lunch in Manoa for $8 each. "Onolicious"
next time, get a guidebook and study up. I think he wrote a guide on how *not* to travel with kids.
On a weekloing vacation, nobody really gets unwound until Wednesday anyway.
Travelling with small kids? been there done that. If he was having problems with the kid, don't blame it on Hawaii. You can fly 5,000 miles to see an exotic destination with a two-year-old and all they want to do is play in the sandbox. If inexpensive was the goal, he should have left the kid behind, or gone to Florida. There's nice kid-friendly beaches here too!
$87 dinner? shoulda bought a plate lunch in Manoa for $8 each. "Onolicious"
next time, get a guidebook and study up. I think he wrote a guide on how *not* to travel with kids.
On a weekloing vacation, nobody really gets unwound until Wednesday anyway.
3
I understand that the writer in this story is male and therefore wants to see and observe as much as he can for his "work". However, what personally frustrated me the most about this piece was the incredibly retro situation at the end, where of course the woman in the couple stayed behind to care for the baby, trapped in a car for hours, while the male, without seemingly any negotiation, got to enjoy an amazing adventure - this is sexist, infuriating and altogether so overplayed it makes me seethe. It took me from vaguely annoyed with this article to throughly detesting it.
3
As a long-time resident (and writer), I liked this piece. A little mystified as to some of the hostile comments--I think Mr. Wells' "edge" is more self-deprecating than critical of Hawaii itself. Much of what Wells observed is true--and given only five days to explore on a first-time visit, he did a commendable job of leaving the resort. Not many visitors make it to Hilo on a first trip or make the effort to experience the warm ponds. When the light hits things just right, Hawaii can be the postcard picture of itself.
Of course that light is mixed, and Hawaii is dealing with some of the same (and some different) social problems as the Mainland. We get all the same bad news (though sometimes the Mainland gets a little good news from us). Here, the postcolonial resentments are palpable. Hawaii is stolen land, and it never lets you forget that. But there remains an awe and a sense of connection to the ʻāina, the land: Many here, whether Native Hawaiian or just locals, understand that we live in a unique (if difficult) place. And if you are listening, there is tangible pride in the resurgence of Polynesian culture, which is finding itself again (literally--a replica of an ancient Hawaiian voyaging canoe is at this moment on its way home after circumnavigating the globe). And yeah, the coconuts are ‘ono. Come back soon, Mr. Wells, and I'll give you some insider info on where to find raw beauty, adventure and maybe--if you're lucky--pick up a case of rat-lung. Shoots!
Of course that light is mixed, and Hawaii is dealing with some of the same (and some different) social problems as the Mainland. We get all the same bad news (though sometimes the Mainland gets a little good news from us). Here, the postcolonial resentments are palpable. Hawaii is stolen land, and it never lets you forget that. But there remains an awe and a sense of connection to the ʻāina, the land: Many here, whether Native Hawaiian or just locals, understand that we live in a unique (if difficult) place. And if you are listening, there is tangible pride in the resurgence of Polynesian culture, which is finding itself again (literally--a replica of an ancient Hawaiian voyaging canoe is at this moment on its way home after circumnavigating the globe). And yeah, the coconuts are ‘ono. Come back soon, Mr. Wells, and I'll give you some insider info on where to find raw beauty, adventure and maybe--if you're lucky--pick up a case of rat-lung. Shoots!
2
Hawaii is an absolutely beautiful place, stolen from the Hawaiian people and their Queen at gunpoint on January 17, 1893 by the US. The ruler of Hawaii, Queen Liliʻuokalani was imprisoned for years in her bedroom at the Iolani Palace. It is one of the most horrific acts of imperialism in US history. Don't take my word for it, visit the simple and elegant wood structure that is the Iolani Palace in Waikiki. The guides (live or audio) will tell you the whole story. Bring Kleenex. It is a very sad tale which you likely won't forget. The author of this article says, "so we resolve to take in our ration of history with a trudge around the Makiki neighborhood". The Iolani Palace would have provided a much more nutritional ration of history. On one of the walls is a letter from the Queen, begging the world to come to the assistance of her country. If Tibet should be returned to Tibetans, then Hawaii should be returned to native Hawaiians. Exactly what is the difference?
The Queen was also an accomplished musician and composer. She wrote the song Aloha Oe and many other classic Hawaiian songs. She was also an expert quilter. Well worth a visit to the palace.
The Queen was also an accomplished musician and composer. She wrote the song Aloha Oe and many other classic Hawaiian songs. She was also an expert quilter. Well worth a visit to the palace.
6
This makes me want to vacation in Volcanoes National Park NOW! Beautiful images. I haven't been to the Big Island in over 30 years..and I live on Maui. I love it when visitors come and remind me of how lucky I am. Thank you Mr. Tower for the reminder!
desperate bid to escape the news? my goodness what a first world wussy response to a temporary political set back. give the trip expense money to a political party, volunteer, fight back. don't become a snowflake.
This article features wonderful language and terrific storytelling. A real break from news / reality for the reader just as the author sought in Hawaii. Thank you for sharing this story!
Somewhere, David Foster Wallace is smiling...as am I.
1
Never been to Hawaii, it must be incredible! Serenity can be found even in a red state on a daily basis, but you must choose to find it.
1
Yikes I can't believe how negatively readers perceived this article. I found the author to be craftily revealing his own need to let go of his urban armor and gradually allow the majestic beauty of Hawaii to sink in. Don't readers see metaphor and projection in this artful self-satire? I loved his humble journey.
1
I get it. You really like big words, and you liked Hawaii in spite of your elitism. Ho hum.
3
These photos are gorgeous. I first saw Dina Litovsky's photos in the Times feature on the NYC debutante ball. She captured the weirdness of the event, without making fun of it. Each photo told a story, had gorgeous color and life, and was beautifully composed. Her photography has a badass quality. I love the shots here. She gives a unique perspective on areas that have been photographed to death. A real talent.
As someone who has visited the Hawaiian islands three times, Oahu and Maui, I advise one not to make the mistake of doing mostly"touristy" activities. It's a paradise made for self-exploration, discovery and relaxation. If you plan to visit Oahu, don't stay in Honolulu or Waikiki Beach - too crowded, too much traffic, an over built waterfront, and tourist traps everywhere. Instead, stay on the western side of the island, and meet the friendly locals. There you will find uncrowded beaches and moderately priced and delicious cuisine of the island. Go to the North Shore and eat the delicious fried miniature bananas sold along the roadside.
And as for Maui, absolute paradise. Explore every inch of the island - from the rain forest in the mountains to desert like conditions during the close of the trip to Hanna and the pristine ocean water everywhere.
Trust me - the toxic environment of Washington politics and the mainland all fade away. It's always hard to leave Hawaii!
And as for Maui, absolute paradise. Explore every inch of the island - from the rain forest in the mountains to desert like conditions during the close of the trip to Hanna and the pristine ocean water everywhere.
Trust me - the toxic environment of Washington politics and the mainland all fade away. It's always hard to leave Hawaii!
2
Absolutely great writing...wonderful piece!!
Shockingly clueless piece. This is a 21st century view of the islands? I'm speechless.
1
When you do leave the Honolulu tourist bubble, and get out into the beautiful wild areas, always be aware of your surroundings, and realize that... if not careful, could meet tragedy, natural or man-made...
http://www.civilbeat.org/projects/dying-for-vacation/?mc_cid=2b0a8f520e&...
http://www.hawaiinewsnow.com/story/34942016/ca-couple-robbed-at-gunpoint...
http://www.civilbeat.org/projects/dying-for-vacation/?mc_cid=2b0a8f520e&...
http://www.hawaiinewsnow.com/story/34942016/ca-couple-robbed-at-gunpoint...
Some of the best travel writing I've ever read! Debunking the whole paradise veneer of Hawaii - while letting glimpses of its appeal to shine through.
Excellent writing on Hawaii, Wells Tower. Thank you. Great language, great observations of both yourself and the special islands around you. I know Hawaii--for the greater half of three years I spent time there with with my resident mom as she reached age 104+, leaving us this January. Yes, the local people are truly nice, and yes, the land shows itself as it was on origin and is now, overcoming all intrusions.
Great article.
First trip for me was 1969. Honolulu (Waikiki) was a much more lay back place then.
Subsequent trips convinced us the Oahu should be just a jumping off point.
Kauai became the island of choice but even that is losing its "innocence".
So time for a change.
The Cook Islands especially Aitutaki will be our next Pacific paradise.
First trip for me was 1969. Honolulu (Waikiki) was a much more lay back place then.
Subsequent trips convinced us the Oahu should be just a jumping off point.
Kauai became the island of choice but even that is losing its "innocence".
So time for a change.
The Cook Islands especially Aitutaki will be our next Pacific paradise.
Thank God you didn't go anywhere near any of the best places on Big Island, AKA the best place on earth! I will not share any of these places here - please keep reporting on these mundane and lame locations that are of absolutely no interest to anyone who loves Big Island.
2
Apparently this guy did little or no research on Hawaii before he booked. Waikiki isn't Hawaii. And 4 days on the Big Island is about half of the minimum time to take in the island. As for the coconut boy - not everyone is like that. Just like anywhere else there are always people who look for suckers. Glad he was dispelled of a need to move here.
1
Uh, did you perhaps get on the wrong plane and end up in NJ? That's about as close as you came to describing the real Hawaii. The real place? Watching the crystal clear skies at night. Feeling the power of the ocean swell and trade winds on a deserted stretch of a windswept north shore. Breathing air that has passed for thousands of miles over open ocean. Watching clouds silently dance in a volcano crater the size of Manhattan. Having fresh papaya and Hawaii grown coffee at a local farmers market. Watching whales breach 100 yards from the beach. I've lived here for years and never got close to a luau, but have seen on Hawaii some of the best live theater outside of Broadway and London's West End. I've seen some of the most amazing athletes in the world challenge it's biggest wave at Peahi. You penned the story about the Hawaii you set out to write. Sadly, if you had looked just a tad deeper, you might have discovered a modicum of Aloha.
2
In Maui, go up in the hill on the way to the telescopes, and roll down the hill on a skate board to the bottom, near the ocean. Another activity I highly recommend in Maui is scuba diving or snorkel to see the beautiful fish and refresh yourself, and clear your mind. You may want to rent a car and go the east side of the island, where there are historical things to see. I won't spoil your surprise. Just go there. You'll love it.
Aloha. As somehow who calls Big Island home. I hate this article. Please stop reducing our entire culture down to your personal commodity, this is a review about about a tourist destination, but we are so much more than that. Not once in this article is anything about rich Hawaiian culture or politics mentioned. The author obviously did not do their research. We aren't just a place to visit for your convenience, and calling us apolitical because we surf and referring to Hawaii as "America" only shows how little the author understands about movements such as the Hawaiian sovereignty movement and the Hawaiian cultural renaissance. Expecting us to be invested in American culture and politics is a very clear sign of ignorance pertaining to the literal illegal occupation of our island nation. Big Island is not for those who do not fully and completely respect true Hawaiian way of life and culture. We really do not need our island to be advertised like this as we already have had our economy and islands prostituted by tourism and really need people who truly care about the well being of the community to come here and give rather than take. We suffer from so many other issues many like poverty, domestic abuse, poor education, ecological degradation, and native disenfranchisement that are scarcely mention. Do me a favor and read up on Hawaii and come back and write me a real article. There is so much more to this place than your opinion.
5
I live here. After 40 years of vacations in Hawaii from a high pressure life in LA, we moved here to be close to grandkids. We live downtown with sirens and homeless, and even vog. It's not so different from the Mainland, except...
People are nice. They drive mostly thoughtfully. Family is the big value. Hawaii is a very small, rural place even in the big city. It is Democratic, thank God.
And I can go 15 minutes in any direction and be in paradise. It is green and clean, even when its messy. Come back. Go to Maui. Try all the islands. Each is different. It's OK to go tourist. You can also just go anywhere and drive around and discover very real things like a lava heiau behind a YMCA or a taro field behind a housing development. It was a kingdom and is a different place. The Hawaiian culture undergirds the life here. You need to know a few words to be at home and function. Most of all it is pono. Great word. Great concept.
Your trip barely scratched the surface. E komo mai.
People are nice. They drive mostly thoughtfully. Family is the big value. Hawaii is a very small, rural place even in the big city. It is Democratic, thank God.
And I can go 15 minutes in any direction and be in paradise. It is green and clean, even when its messy. Come back. Go to Maui. Try all the islands. Each is different. It's OK to go tourist. You can also just go anywhere and drive around and discover very real things like a lava heiau behind a YMCA or a taro field behind a housing development. It was a kingdom and is a different place. The Hawaiian culture undergirds the life here. You need to know a few words to be at home and function. Most of all it is pono. Great word. Great concept.
Your trip barely scratched the surface. E komo mai.
2
Ha! Spot on, and fantastically entertaining. The author's nuance and humor captured the nuance and humor of our state well, worts and beauty marks and all. We always are sure to read the occasional Times pieces about travel to Hawaii, and they're okay, but never this accurate. Or hilarious. This one definitely takes the cake, er, haupia pie. You may be ready for Hawaii life, after all. First step is seeing it for what it is. :)
1
Thought this was well written, funny and entertaining! "Tectonic incontinence" is a great description!
Cure, indeed. Hawaii can leave you awash in a sense of well-being. Have been to all the islands over many trips. Forged from the Ring of Fire, each island stuns in a majestic, dramatic rise from the sea.
Admittedly, I'm less familiar with the popular spots. Hawaii is down time for us. We rent a house somewhere relatively quiet, walk in the morning, watch the whales, spend afternoons bobbing in the ocean, cocktail at 5, barbecue fresh fish, read after dark, bed by 10. Heaven.
Admittedly, I'm less familiar with the popular spots. Hawaii is down time for us. We rent a house somewhere relatively quiet, walk in the morning, watch the whales, spend afternoons bobbing in the ocean, cocktail at 5, barbecue fresh fish, read after dark, bed by 10. Heaven.
1
Chief's Luau? What were you thinking? And on the Big Island, you couldn't go to Don's Grill? In Hilo? For crying out loud.
About half a mile from where you were trekking to Pele. The lava flow as you call her, is an outdoor indoor market/culture center/live music place called Uncle Roberts. Owned by one of the oldest Hawaiian family's that side of the island. It's also one of the places of the Hawaiian Sovereignty movement. Hawaii was stolen by the Americans. People were massacred and the language was forbidden. The rich culture was outlawed. It was practiced in secret like most cultures that are taken over. Now it has a wonderful resurgence. And sovereignty is still something some of the Hawaiians are working and fighting for. When visiting Hawaii, it's also good to really know and learn some history and cherish the rich culture, filled with Aloha and import. Hawaii is a magical place. For many reasons.
1
I fully enjoyed reading this piece. It is beautifully subtle, and I appreciate the humor. Thank you!
Where I found sublime beauty and unsurpassed driving politesse, Wells Tower and ensemble found tainted cultural misappropriation (Chief's Luau) and soggy diapers. Did we go to different states? Was mine a welcome respite from a recent death in the family (my father's) and breakup (my daughter's), and Mr. Tower's a search for the Ugly American and those who would exploit his gag-inducing taste? I could have sworn we went to some of the same places. But where Wells was sold out of Pearl Harbor tickets, we got in--free of charge (TIP: make sure to arrive early. You have an infant. This should be easy). Moments like these make me mindful of the old saying, "this is why we lost." The nauseating contempt. The never-ending search for villainy, greed and inauthenticity. For me Oahu (we did not have time to venture further) was marked by boundless joy. Coming home to this exploitation of personal anhedonia masked as creative non-fiction, short form, makes me long for traffic jams on H1.
1
I grew up on Oahu. We disliked tourists and rarely went to Waikiki. Fortunately, our favorite 'town' surf spots were on either end of Waikiki, so we never had to penetrate the forbidden zone. Then, I was working on the Mainland for a long time, and began seeing things from a tourists point of view ("We've got ten days, Martha! We are going to see everything we can see and have a good time and that's an order!"). So, when I went to visit my brother on the Big Island I bought a 'Moon' travel-guide, check-listed all the spots that interested me and had a blast. I even impressed my brother, who was still in 'Look-da-crazy-tourist' mode from our childhood. Of course, he's now in Paris with his family, and they're breaking facebook with their photos.
Good, humorous writing. A lot of comments lament the good old days before industrial scale tourism. They would be horrified by Thailand or Bali. All you need to do is go swimming in the lovely Hawaiian Pacific and all is well. Of course, having some disposable income don't hurt. Aloha.
1
Thanks for the article, vacationing in Kauai, enjoying the spectacular beauty and wilderness of the Garden Island, our vacation preference for 25 years. Sadly, still connected to the news and can't seem to pull away from the daily treachery of Trump and his band of sycophants. As an American I am embarrassed, disgusted and appalled by this charlatan whose unrelenting self interests disparage and undermine our fundamental values. I keep thinking , give him enough rope....
Nicely done, Wells Tower. An outstanding piece of of journalism. First-rate writing. I wanted to read more.
I think some are being overly harsh towards the author (or failed to read beyond luau king). Hilarious writing, sounds like you have a happy kid. I can't wait to go there myself in two weeks for the first time, especially after Alaskan winter!
As the author of this article learned, when you travel on a nature-centered vacation, it is always wise to carry with you at all times a stick in order to poke at things.
Best-written travel piece I've read in the Times in years. You can keep all those tedious scenic elegies and what to do in 24 hours; give me a good laugh instead.
1
You missed it Mr. Tower. For those of us who are fortunate enough to live in this beautiful, soul fulfilling place we remain grateful. Every day I am grateful for the beautiful people in Hawaii who love and care with all their hearts. I am grateful for the exquisite turquoise water, the lavish mountains, the breathtaking views, the people who love and cherish the outdoors. I am grateful for those who are Hawaiian who proudly teach us Kama'aina about the history of this amazing place through song, story and hula. Tourism is a two edged sword. Many of our residents live off tourism but, it is killing us as well. It may be best for all of us if you choose another vacation spot next time. Aloha
2
Seems like an awful lot of people are missing their funny bones. I have been to Hawaii a number of times - mostly off the beaten path - but I still loved this feature. Wells has a wonderful sense of humour, clearly enjoys the off-beat and doesn't take himself too seriously. Write some more!
Aloha and congratulations for coming to our corner of Hawaii. Our Puna area is not known as a tourist spot, usually visitors will go to Kona side. We're aware of all the same news you get on the Mainland, but Nature plays a strong role here. So we will worry about whether lava will take our town of Pahoa, or whether local produce contains rat lung worm. Yet we will also exalt when an Apapane flies by our house for the first time, and when the Humpback whales arrive. Nature helps us put life in perspective. Next time, don't visit us because you need to escape - visit us because a part of you needs to be here. And park your wife at Uncle Roberts while you go visit the lava next door.
I already read this article. It was called "Shipping Out" by David Foster Wallace. Clearly Wells Tower read it also....
This writer is hilarious.
Why, oh why, did he take a toddler on a trip like this? We learn of diaper eruptions and early morning awakenings and his wife missing the volcano. The child would be as pleased with a Jersey beach and will have no meaningful memory of this trip, but the author missed a second honeymoon.
The hot swimming pond has flesh eating bacteria in it and anyone with an open sore is in Serious Life and Death Danger. The Lava Poking is a $500.00 Fine, If Caught, by the Park Rangers. As People have died, getting too close to the Lava. Aa Parts of the Lava viewing area, the size of a football field, have broken off into the Ocean. It is a wonder you and your family are still alive !
Having visited all the islands in 1968, and then concentrated on Kauai and Oahu since then, the writers of this article missed the real Hawaii -- the people-- and the historic as well as beautiful nature. Also, there are plenty of places with reasonable prices, including hotels and restaurants, even in Honolulu. We'll be glad to take you on a tour! Get rid of the electroinics, go to the Bishop Museum, skip the tourist luau and visit the funky parts of the north shore of Oahu with art and genuine food, go to the north shore of Kauai and gaze at the glories and the small towns and, again, the real parts of one of our most beautiful states. The children can also enjoy the real Hawaii. We have encountered many of them in Hanalei on Kauai.
1
Sorta relaxes and just tells the story late here, when he and the fam reach the Big Island. Until then this piece is tough sledding. It's like he took the package tour to complain about it. Agree with the people who think his wife should leave him.
1
I went to a Conservation Biology meeting in Hilo a while ago which occurred (serendipitously) at the same time as the Merrie Monarch festival, a giant hula competition where I got to see so many forms of hula and performance groups. It was amazing! As was the rest of my trip: I slept in a treehouse in Hana while a storm blew the tops of the trees around me; camped on a beautiful state beach in Kauai; hiked the Kalalau trail, eating wild guava all the way; hiked from the very top of Waimea Canyon all the way down to the town of Waimea; sat on a cliff and watched lava explode into the ocean; slept in an A-frame cabin in Volcanoes National Park. It was an epic trip with no giant hotels, man-made sea parks or buffets, and I came home with the best souvenirs: those in my heart.
2
My comment is neither cute nor clever. Just earnest. I fell in love with Hawaii. The colorful schools of fish while snorkeling. The coffee plantations. The fragrant air and lush vegetation. The astonishing topography, such as trekking across a volcano crater that resembles another planet and thirty minutes later hiking in a rain forest. Pink sand beaches. Black sand beaches. A mango-banana-coconut smoothie bought front a roadside stand that was bliss for the tastebuds. Acai bowls in the morning. I could go on and on and on. Sipping a Mai-tai while gazing upon breathtaking sunsets. That state truly is paradise on Earth.
1
You poor thing! I hope you'll be able to recover from your trip. No doubt the deprivation was severe.
Seriously you should get out more Not all of the sights look like restaurant food!
Seriously you should get out more Not all of the sights look like restaurant food!
1
I'm not sure what I expected from this article but it definitely was not what the author wrote. I have lived on the Big Island for nearly two years and visited a few times in the past. Every place has its problems. I have lived in the Midwest, East Coast and the Western United States. I have traveled many other places in the United States and in Europe and Australia. I lived in London for several months. More places than many and less than some. Every place had its pluses and minuses. I was fortunate to be able to consider many places for retirement and chose this place. I have no regrets. This writer has missed out on too many wonders, both the people and the sites. This is a very simplistic view. Sadly it reminds me of the story of the blind men and the elephant. Still I write this with much Aloha.
3
My partner and I just returned from a fabulous ten day trip to the Big Island. My first time.
The author should have left his negative attitude on the mainland. What a dark cloud ! He could learn a lot from his young son.
The author should have left his negative attitude on the mainland. What a dark cloud ! He could learn a lot from his young son.
You should have let your wife go see the lava, and you be stuck with the kid. It's probably the story of her life, and she'll be mad at you for it 20 years from now, or less.
54
I dont understand this "touristy" approach to one of the most serene and beautiful places on the planet. But thats fine if it keeps people away....more paradise for me.
65
The problem here is that Mr.Tower did not go to the best island: Maui. He hints this might be his only trip to paradise. My experience as an author who visited for 27 years before moving here is that most visitors I meet among the 2.5 million who come to this beautiful island mostly include travelers who return again and again. A trip to Oahu isn't what Hawaii is all about. Mr. Tower apparently didn't take the opportunity to learn about the rich Hawaiian culture nor its amazing history. He apparently did not go to Iolani Palace where kings and queens had the telephone or electricity before the White House nor learn about our fascinating history. Here he would have found real aloha (and no it is not just a tourist slogan, it is real and genuine. Somehow he also appeared to miss sampling Pacific Cuisine which was virtually invented on Maui. He apparently dod not sample much Hawaiian music (we have a four time Grammy winner) nor say anything about the beauty of hula who no less a figure than Mark Twain was impressed with a century ago. It is also likely that he never took a pleasant sunset catamaran sail or experienced the joys of whales breaching off of Kaanapali Beach before their epic trip back home to Alaska. Maui is truly a magical place as I have noted in my own extensive writings.
Well what did you expect when you stay in a heavily populated tourist infested resort with wall to wall mega hotels.
There is a reason we go to quiet and peaceful Kauai, and it isn't just for the chickens, although they are fun. Nothing like sitting on your balcony and feeding the gorgeous wild birds by hand while sipping real coffee and listening to the silence.
There is a reason we go to quiet and peaceful Kauai, and it isn't just for the chickens, although they are fun. Nothing like sitting on your balcony and feeding the gorgeous wild birds by hand while sipping real coffee and listening to the silence.
53
Shush! Let the hoards go to Waikiki and take tour buses. Keep Kauai a secret.
1
Yes, townside Oahu and west Maui have wall to wall hotels, but Kauai isn't perfect either. Have you been stuck in traffic in Kapaa-Wailua? Tried to find parking at Haena and Ke'e Beach? The chickens are NOT fun, they wake you up at 3 am (Unless you are at the Pale Ke Kua or Ritz Carlton in Princeville),so rise and shine! Quiet and peaceful? it depends. Been to Black Pot Beach on a Sunday? Enjoy before the tech billionaires buy the whole place up. Then there will be one or two beaches on each side where you can park because of all the private estates. Yes the Robinson, Wilcox, and Rice families owned all the land after the great Mahele, but I remember being able to hike around parts of Kauai in the 70s where you can not go now. Some locals are leaving Kauai (and Oahu and Maui) to move to places like Puna on the Big Island where the writer described the baths. It cheaper. It's the last option for many before they bail and move to Las Vegas. Last time I went to Hilo I did not see wall to wall mega hotels. In fact, there are few hotels. Lots of coqui frogs and mosquitos though, among the orchids. Each of the beautiful accessible Hawaiian Islands, has its good, bad. silly, scary and sublime. Each of us is allowed our favorite, but it doesn't mean its the best. The author's take on it all was hilarious, and in many cases "spot on". My husband and I were laughing as I read it aloud.
You fed the wild chickens? Doh! You are not supposed to feed the wild chickens.
This is entirely enjoyable reading and, to the best of my recollection, a pretty accurate reflection of Oahu - admittedly the only Hawaiian island I've visited. More to the point, more than a fluffy travelogue stuffed with the hyperbolic familiar, this piece actually encouraged me to move Hawaii higher up my re-visit list. A guide book is what I go to for conventional advice on what to see and do but this article presented something more powerful as an incentive to travel: the hope of experiencing, like the author, the perverse enchantment of an unexpected seduction.
22
I think Mr. Wells needs to revisit Hawaii and allow himself enough time to see more of the islands. Undoubtedly, he will look back on his first trip and realize he missed a lot. If he does return, and makes an effort to learn about Hawaiian history, culture, music, and art, he may be tempted to write another article, but I'd rather he didn't.
69
Well, the airline miles meant I had a low-cost ticket for us to Honolulu. First time I rented a car, and second time I rode the Circle Island city bus, to Malaekahana State Recreation Area, on the northeast side of Oahu (leeward or windward I don't know). I put up the small tent I had in my backpack (and later bought a new tent at Costco on I think Kamehameha Hwy.) Not only was the lodging inexpensive but it was a very relaxing area. We hiked to Laie and visited a small supermarket.
13
I also enjoyed my recent stay at Mālaekahana State Recreation Area - after initially being surprised by all the stray cats and the lack of a visible ranger or station. It's pretty informal and seemingly loosely regulated. You have to pay online and print your receipt to place on your dashboard. I actually camped there two nights when I was between Oahu rental leases. I brought my dog. I was worried I might get complaints about him, but there were only a few other people there, and I think they appreciated my dog keeping the cats at bay. I think dogs might not technically be allowed, though. It was a great base for exploring the North Shore. Be sure to go to the actual State Recreation Area, though, and not the private and crowded "Malaekahana Beach Campground". Or I suppose if you want more security and more people around, go there. But it's more expensive.
A thoroughly entertaining trip review!
18
I loved Mr. Tower's take and writing about Hawaii, and my love of Hawaii (now just a memory from a month spent there 21 years ago, with a 4 month old and a 4 year old) goes without saying. I, too, grew up thinking that Hawaii was tall white buildings lining Waikiki Beach, and had no interest in going. But when friends moved there, we thought, what the heck, let's go. It is one of the few places we have been in the world that we said we would love to return to (lots of other great locales on each continent, but with so much to explore, why go anywhere twice?) We did not do the tourist traps of which Mr. Tower did; we found all sorts of gorgeous places on three wonderful islands: Kauai, Maui and the Big Island. And though our trips were different, Tower's humor and perspective were a joy to read.
24
You are the Skip Bayless of travel journalism.
9
Ha!
As a resident of Hawaii for more than 35 years, I would like to comment on one item. The writer seems to say that local people trash the environment. That has not been my experience recently. I was at Waimea Bay, when the surf was large. Chinese tourists were leaving their trash behind them on the beach. I was horrified that these tourists would be so disrespectful. I picked up the trash they left behind before I left the beach.
52
Oh, come on. Why do you think there are so many green bottles littering the beach? It's not the tourists.
I spent 6 weeks in China and saw people drop their wrappers, trash etc. on the sidewalk. China is not a squeaky clean place; however, it is a fascinating place with some very warm, kind, hospitable people. The Great Wall is beautiful; The Forbidden City is a fascinating place with a beautiful museum nearby. Shanghai is big and noisy, like NYC. Nantong is an old mercantile center with a small interesting museum; I stayed there and loved it: a river runs through it. After visiting Europe several times, Morocco once, China remains the most exotic and most interesting place ever visited; and the food is pretty good, too. China needs to enforce strong environmental regs; if it does not, the air in Beijing and Shanghai will not be breathable. And, sad to say, their agricultural fields are being polluted with upstream industrial toxins. They still rely on local environmental enforcement which is undone by the old traditional graft.
Thank you.
I live on Oahu. We have news of our own. There's homelessness, there's the crumbling university that I work for, there are sky-high real estate prices that none but the rich can afford, there's domestic violence, racism, crime (albeit less gun-related violence). And yes, there's a lot of beauty, too. But please spare us the "getting away from the news" by coming to our state, even if the Tourist Bureau tells you that's what you should do. As for finding "coconut palaver" too much to bear, try visiting that other Trump Tower, not the one in Waikiki but in Manhattan. aloha, sms
43
Agree completely.
I have been to the Islands a total of 8 times, and never once went to a Luau. Mr. Tower couldn't wait though and was dismayed at the results. I guess when the NYT wants an article on Hawaii in today's day and age, what do you do besides write something original that will generate response and primal reactions?
I can imagine that travelling with a 2 year old can generate such snarky, condescending, and obviously preloaded hipster talk; when one realizes that his life which was once so adventurous and brave (like eating street food and sleeping on a dead rat) will soon be relegated to luaus and tourist traps...and
soccer games, PTA meetings, playdates and the like.
This piece is a requiem of sorts. Welcome to the Club, Wells.
I can imagine that travelling with a 2 year old can generate such snarky, condescending, and obviously preloaded hipster talk; when one realizes that his life which was once so adventurous and brave (like eating street food and sleeping on a dead rat) will soon be relegated to luaus and tourist traps...and
soccer games, PTA meetings, playdates and the like.
This piece is a requiem of sorts. Welcome to the Club, Wells.
30
Thank you for supplying the review I might have written, so I don't have to. "snarky, condescending, and obviously preloaded hipster talk" indeed. We have made three trips to the islands: a month long, three weeks long, a month long. We never went to a luau either. We didn't go primed to do tourist things and sneer sourly about it. We reveled in this glorious place. We camped and hiked, snorkeled and birded. We got fresh produce at little roadside farmers' markets and got to know people. We didn't ever get to see fresh lava, though, and it makes me angry that this man did get to.
1
Unfortunately the author must have skipped over the daily news concerning the rapidly accelerating climate change in order to be able to justify such a trip. How about enjoying a more local adventure next time to forget the news? It's time to accept that we can not keep living such carbon intensive lives no mater how much we feel we "deserve" them. We are stealing life and health from those who are most affected by climate change now, and also from the people of the future.
14
What a fun article to read!
Clearly the irritated readers who took offense could use a lovely Hawaii vacation themselves.
The message that came through loud and clear was that despite himself, the author couldn't help but be seduced by the place.
Aloha.
Clearly the irritated readers who took offense could use a lovely Hawaii vacation themselves.
The message that came through loud and clear was that despite himself, the author couldn't help but be seduced by the place.
Aloha.
49
I suspect that these readers live in a rather dull, literal and unimaginative place.
1
Having stood overlooking the Waipio Valley while drinking a fresh ground cup of kona coffee and hiked down the steepest road in the United States to the beautiful black sand beach at the bottom. I've also had the incredible fortune of hiking to see land being created. I've also had the luxury of hiking the Napali coast after marrying the man of my dreams at Tunnels beach last year at the age of 50. It saddened and unexpectedly angered me reading this article. I live in a suburb of Orlando. One of the top tourist destinations in the world. My advice is. 1 . Don't travel with small children to a place that offers adventure that isn't compatible with them. It isn't fair to them or you. 2. Stay off the beaten path. Tourist areas are ok for a day, but not for your entire stay. Hawaii and its people are incredible. Please please do not let this article dissuade you from visiting this magical place.
47
I wouldn't worry about the vast majority of visitors to any of Hawai'i's islands.They won't be dissuaded by this kind of account, and they'll feel the same exhilaration, peace, beauty and joy that you and I and so many others have. And congratulations on your marriage in one of the most beautiful places on earth.
24
Especially stay off the beaten path. I visited Kauai and the Big Island many years ago with a book called "Hidden Hawaii" as my guide. Don't know if it is still in print, but it helped make memories for a lifetime -- like a heavenly beach with great snorkeling on the Kona coast that was deserted because getting to it required a mile or two of pounding on a lava road. Sorry, Hertz!
I watched the sunset from a beach on Maui and it was so spectacular, I thought it might be a movie. Hawaii is a beautiful place; gorgeous flowers grow like weeds; the surf is incredible. However, cruise ships dump sewage out at sea; the water is not safe if you have any open cuts.
Much of how you experience a place is determined by how you frame the experience and the choices you make. Sounds like the author, who had always thought of Hawaii "as a meretricious luxury product whose visitors bring happiness with them in the form of money" was determined that his experiences bear out his preconceived notions. Why else book into the tourist traps?
Hawaii has so much to offer -- invest the time to do proper research, the effort to go beyond the well worn tourist trodden paths, and the spirit to reach out to locals (all free resources), and you will find there is so much more to Hawaii than "mindless" splendor.
What a waste.
Hawaii has so much to offer -- invest the time to do proper research, the effort to go beyond the well worn tourist trodden paths, and the spirit to reach out to locals (all free resources), and you will find there is so much more to Hawaii than "mindless" splendor.
What a waste.
54
Thank you! I agree, he seemed bored ... how about when you first see Lanikai beach, those emotions ?!!! ...there is so much more to Hawaii
14
You can tell he didn't do any planning because he didn't get into the Pearl Harbor memorial. That's like skipping the Forum and then proceeding to write an article about how boring Rome is.
1
what one sees is what one gets, i suppose.
that said, mr tower is a most witty and talented writer.
that said, mr tower is a most witty and talented writer.
24
Really? I did not get witty or talented at all. I got whiny and bored. I am also tired of writers injecting their youngsters into essays: trust me it is only interesting when it is your kid.
1
I feel sorry for this man, with his need to inflict his obnoxiousness and narrow-mindedness on others. I also pity him for his obliviousness to what makes Hawaii, even with its grit and problems, endlessly interesting. Mr Towers apparently writes "fiction and nonfiction". Let me Lois Ann Yamanaka and Lawrence Fuchs to him.
29
The comments were as interesting to read as Wells Tower's piece. The diversity of experience when coming to Hawaii is well reflected in both, although some comments indicated an absent sense of humor. I've lived for over a decade about 10 miles from that hot pond the author wrote about and almost the same distance from the lava flow; both are jewels where we always take mainlander guests. After living in Western rural towns, the remote Sierras, DC, and the S.F. Bay Area; I have found nothing that compares to the happiness, peace and quiet I've found here in Puna.
25
So, what you're really saying is that you've become a Punatic. haha.
Wow, what a dreary travelogue for such a lovely place.
You can be gloomy in a tropical paradise, and happy in a slum.
I guess it shows that no matter where you go there you are.
You can be gloomy in a tropical paradise, and happy in a slum.
I guess it shows that no matter where you go there you are.
54
I have been to Oahu and loved it. I also loved this piece. Very funny. Thanks.
13
The article's headline was enticing, but it was all downhill from there. Cliched and superficial, it shows only an occasional glimpse of the natural majesty of Hawaii and the true aloha spirit. The author sounds like the kind of tourist I try to avoid when traveling, but I am glad his son managed to have a good time despite his partypooping parents.
46
Long ago while visiting Kauai I came in from surfing the break at Poipu just before sunset to overhear a tourist complaining to a local guy just relaxing on the beach.
The local's mellow response to him, "Hey bro, if you don't like it here you're free to go home." It wasn't delivered as an insult or an affront, just an observation about reality.
A guy I met in Jamaica explained it in a similar manner. "Too many Americans take their troubles with them. Leave those at home. We don't need them here."
The local's mellow response to him, "Hey bro, if you don't like it here you're free to go home." It wasn't delivered as an insult or an affront, just an observation about reality.
A guy I met in Jamaica explained it in a similar manner. "Too many Americans take their troubles with them. Leave those at home. We don't need them here."
42
Very insulting article that disrespects the local indigenous people and their culture. He would have had a much better time if he had not been so sarcastic which prevented him from seeing the beauty.
I work within Hawaii Volcanoes Park and two things:
1. You should never pole lava with a stick. It's incredibly disrespectful. Whether you believe in the Volcano goddess Pele or not, you should always consider cultural taboo when visiting a new place.
2. As someone who is originally from NJ...I very much appreciated the description of pahoehoe lava as "challah braids". That is a meeting of two cultures I can stand behind!
As a parting note, I recommend that Mr Tower stay longer on the Big Island than 3 days next time. Once you take the time to find yourself in "island time" not rushing here or there, that is when you will figure out what is so magical about this place. Yup, next time be sure to hang out at the lava, staring away, for as long as you feel the need.
1. You should never pole lava with a stick. It's incredibly disrespectful. Whether you believe in the Volcano goddess Pele or not, you should always consider cultural taboo when visiting a new place.
2. As someone who is originally from NJ...I very much appreciated the description of pahoehoe lava as "challah braids". That is a meeting of two cultures I can stand behind!
As a parting note, I recommend that Mr Tower stay longer on the Big Island than 3 days next time. Once you take the time to find yourself in "island time" not rushing here or there, that is when you will figure out what is so magical about this place. Yup, next time be sure to hang out at the lava, staring away, for as long as you feel the need.
36
On Dina Litovsky's striking photograph - brava! Beautifully done!
14
agree... just that one picture of "tourists at Waikiki Beach" does not appear to be Waikiki Beach...I live in Honolulu and drive by this beach often.
Are those women really tourists? It's an odd choice of photo if tourists are the point.
Went to Hawaii during the spring some years ago. The weather was wonderful. Visited Pearl Harbor etc, went to the Iolani Palace and the Aloha Tower. Got around almost all of Oahu. It was expensive, but I thought the whole experience was great. My hotel room was above a terrace and the little band played Hawaiian music for most of the evening. I thought, oh no, I'll never get to sleep. Instead, the music lulled me to sleep. I'd like to go back.
8
I come to Hawai'i when I can because my arthritis and dry skin vanish within minutes of deplaning. I can play two rounds of golf a day and back home in LA, I have to wait a day after one round before I hit a bucket. It's fascinating to me why this happens, but I just imagine it's a combination of the temp, barometric pressure, humidity and trade winds. As soon as I land in LA, I pay a heavy price for so much fun, but oh the memories! It's enchanting.
7
David - I think you are correct about your assessment of conditions which causes your arthritic symptoms to vanish when you are in Hawaii. I had similar results when I was there a few years ago. I never felt an ounce of discomfort. People used to relocate to Phoenix for the same reasons 30-40 years ago.
6
I've had the same experience! It was unbelievable - within minutes of stepping out of the airport, the ungodly headache I'd been dealing with for a solid month dissipated and my joints felt better than they have in years! My doctor suspects the barometric pressure, as Oahu and San Diego apparently have the most consistent high barometric pressure in the country. The impact was so great that I'm considering spending long stretches of the year there.
Why would you stay in the USA to escape the news? Besides the fact that Hawaii IS part of the USA, the best way to escape is to turn off all your devices and go enjoy nature.
15
I vote this the Best Comment of All.
Are you sure you went to Hawaii? Doesn't sound like the place I went to.
Next time , try Kihei, Maui.
Next time , try Kihei, Maui.
7
...and Malaki, where Father Damien established his leper refuge. Don't the garden island, Kuaii.
2
Er, *Molokai and *Kauai
1
Kihei is a nightmare of prison like tourist buildings, many stores and hotter than temperatures on the other side of the island.
My God...you book a trip to the very worst, most urban, spot in a bucolic chain of islands, then write hundreds of words griping about it? Go to Kauai, and stop your complaining.
32
I'm pleased to see that many seem to feel the way I do, which is that this article is very overwrought and quite frustrating for anyone who has ever spent more than five days in Hawaii. It sounds like he intentionally set up the worst experience for himself and decided to do a faux-wry commentary on it. You cannot go to Sea Life Park and expect paradise. That's like going to Hard Rock Cafe in Paris and complaining about French food. Utter nonsense and very disappointing, as Hawaii truly is a beautiful escape from the noise and ugliness that's so common these days.
29
Well, none of this is surprising. Snarky, over-written, but amusing in spots. I was born and raised here (on the Big Island), spent much of my life on the mainland, then returned. So I have the local perspective leavened by years living in Buffalo. Yes, Buffalo.
Two points: the area of "petrochemical tanks . . . ." is about a quarter mile long. Not surprisingly, it's at the wharf -- you know, the place where the fuel, and containers arrive. Carlsmith Park is absolutely not "in the middle of all that." It's nearly 2 miles beyond it. Got Google Earth on your computer? Fire it up and point it at Hilo, and you'll see what I'm talking about. Wharf and industrial area: 19 degrees 43.75' N, 155 deg 3.2' W. Carlsmith: 19 deg 44' N, 155 deg 02' W.
Second, it may be that talk of coconut water as IV fluid during WW2 is false, but I assure you that when an Australian MD was training me in bush medicine in Madang, Papua New Guinea, he told me that he had used it, in emergencies of course. Medical personnel on Bougainville Island told me the same thing. Did I see it being done? No, everybody had regular IV materials. But I feel confident that those dozen or so medical professionals weren't lying to me.
Two points: the area of "petrochemical tanks . . . ." is about a quarter mile long. Not surprisingly, it's at the wharf -- you know, the place where the fuel, and containers arrive. Carlsmith Park is absolutely not "in the middle of all that." It's nearly 2 miles beyond it. Got Google Earth on your computer? Fire it up and point it at Hilo, and you'll see what I'm talking about. Wharf and industrial area: 19 degrees 43.75' N, 155 deg 3.2' W. Carlsmith: 19 deg 44' N, 155 deg 02' W.
Second, it may be that talk of coconut water as IV fluid during WW2 is false, but I assure you that when an Australian MD was training me in bush medicine in Madang, Papua New Guinea, he told me that he had used it, in emergencies of course. Medical personnel on Bougainville Island told me the same thing. Did I see it being done? No, everybody had regular IV materials. But I feel confident that those dozen or so medical professionals weren't lying to me.
22
Today I read that global CO2 levels have reached the tipping point and it is critical we stop emitting carbon. So please, take this Hawaii fantasy and put it away. For God's sake.
5
Was on the big island for the first time 4 weeks ago with my 25 years son. It was the best holidays of my life probably. We made a plan: he will leave the corporate world and I will sell my house, buy a self-sustainable farm and live on the island.
We agreed to execute this plan in the next 18 months.
This is what the big island did.
We agreed to execute this plan in the next 18 months.
This is what the big island did.
23
Take me with you! The Big Island is magic.
The first time I went to Hawaii I felt incredibly agoraphobic about the remoteness of the place. Last summer I went back with my family and absolutely loved the remoteness. I'm guessing it has something to do with the election. Now I'm ready to move there.
10
I went to Hawaii in the 1980's for 3 weeks, and it is still, in my mind, the most beautiful place, with the friendliest people I ever met.
18
Visiting Hawaii may not be like living there, but you get out what you put in there; leave your critical mind behind... and allow its magic to shine.
8
I'm glad you enjoyed your island holiday and found some of the magic in the 'aina here. However I had to roll my eyes several times while reading this. Hawai'i like any other place on earth is about what you make of it. To most coming here to visit it is an idealized tropical paradise of swaying palms, beautiful mountains, and wind cooled beaches, filled with "aloha". And Hawai'i is all of those things, but it is also a place where over a million of your fellow american citizens, work, toil, thrive or survive, I'm glad that you enjoyed your island escape to paradise, but I find this article like so many other travel writings about Hawai'i caricatures the people of these isles and removes the complex realities of our lives. We are just as horrified by the travel ban, perhaps more so, we are the only non white majority state in the nation, and have a long and complex history of immigration. Many here still remember the internment camps of WWII. We worry about what the cuts in funding will do to our social services, our ability to educate our keiki; we wonder how to integrate the continuing increases in tourism and foreign interests into a small and fragile economic and ecological system that can sustain our citizens and help right historic wrongs done to the Kanaka Maoli. In short yes this is the tropical paradise of your vacation, and it is our tropical paradise too, but while you are here to "escape the real world" we are living in that world every day on these islands.
51
I really love this response. I felt the same way reading it. I live on BI and it's different over here than Oahu, but overall these kinds of travel pieces do a disservices to the people who live here. It isn't an honest or accurate way of communicating about our space.
The best writing about the Big Island remains the writings by Mark Twain after he visited Hawaii! Funny and insightful! They deserve to be better know, as they are some of the finest items he ever wrote.
14
Thanks for the wonderful suggestion Jean. Off to the library first thing tomorrow.
5
The Hawaiian Islands are lovely, and each unique. Snorkel and scuba paradise.
One caution: for people with asthma, the Big Island is a challenge. Don't spend whole vacation there, and expect the air conditioners I. Rooms to be even more concentrated with the ultra fine volcanic dust every where on island. My husband, watching my asthma flare badly, looked up the number of pulmonary specialists on that island. It was six times the normal per capita number! so if you go, purchase through Amazon one of those Asian dust masks. Many of those come with removable heap filter inserts. As critical for asthma patients on Big Island as those masks are in the polluted cities of Asia (where the diesel fumes, etc, such a problem!)
One caution: for people with asthma, the Big Island is a challenge. Don't spend whole vacation there, and expect the air conditioners I. Rooms to be even more concentrated with the ultra fine volcanic dust every where on island. My husband, watching my asthma flare badly, looked up the number of pulmonary specialists on that island. It was six times the normal per capita number! so if you go, purchase through Amazon one of those Asian dust masks. Many of those come with removable heap filter inserts. As critical for asthma patients on Big Island as those masks are in the polluted cities of Asia (where the diesel fumes, etc, such a problem!)
7
Typo! Should have been" Hepa" filter. (The joys of spelling " corrections on electronic devices!)
3
But I like your typo of "heap filter inserts"! I imagined little mask-inserts that collected a heap of dust which could then be discarded in the trash. My vacuum cleaner has a Hepa Filter, but "heap filter" certainly has its own mysterious charm.
3
Well, then. This essay really reminded me that everyone takes away different things from their travels. It had a cynical tone - which I guess you could describe as "hipster" - but it was also somewhat superficial. I'm biased, having been born and raised in Hawaii, so I would be hard-pressed to be totally objective. Hawaii definitely has its pros and cons, but I got the feeling that Tower did not enjoy his visit, which I understand. Hawaii is not for everyone, but for those of us who love Hawaii and the people, being in Hawaii is so much more than "a desperate bid to escape the news."
15
Unless hipster means nothing, this is not hipster. I think world-weary would be preferable to cynical.
I thought it was pretty funny.
11
I thought it was funny too. I live in Puna, just down the road from "Hot Ponds," and the descriptive writing was on par. The description of the coconut salesman was hilarious. I would agree with fellow commenters that the author did not spend enough time here. But that is the reality when one is on assignment. I am impressed with what he did glean in the short time he was here, however. I also would agree that there are many layers to Hawaii and this author only shared one layer, that superficial one that most tourists encounter. The Hawaii I know is far more of a transcendental experience. But you have to spend the time and make an effort to discover that experience, beyond the initial discomfort of mattresses and dead cars as lawn ornaments. You're not going to find the guide to a transcendental Hawaiian experience in "Big Island Revealed." It takes weeks, months and years to reach the depths of profoundness here in this archipelago. A lot of people don't have the time or interest. And that's ok... the Kona side of the island has plenty of hotels and franchises of familiar restaurants to make those people feel right at home. Best wishes, and ALOHA
In Hawaii, we are taught to respect our 'Aina - would never go for a cheap laugh at the expense of others. This author has no 'ha. So "sad."
I could spend another two weeks on the big island alone. Your article's reflection about the first part of your stays is upsetting. Your pre-vacation planning was not thorough enough. Even the briefest of internet searching would have pointed out the pitfalls of your chosen vacation plan. The many things to see, do, and immerse oneself in on the big island far out strip any time spent on the other islands. Hiking in the eucalypti groves, zip lining north of Hilo, and night time kayaking with stingrays south of Kona are just a few of the amazing Big Island adventures. The Big Island is awesome.
11
Laughably the author missed the whole point of Hawaii. I have been 4 times and there is never a point where my soul does not feel immediately at ease and at home. Hawaii caresses you in its nature, rawness, humidity, it's super chill people who do not suffer fools. If you just do nothing and let Hawaii wash over you , then you have gotten the place. Love Hawaii . Seeing Pipeline firing was one of the most awe inspiring things I have ever seen - like a kid with a new toy. Valley of the Temples on Oahu - the Buddhist temple . I could go on and on . Just the best place ever.
34
I had a roommate who was born and raised in Hawaii She used the term Paradise. Being a 20 something Californian- I wasn't impressed until....I went with her as my guide. Our stay was short but looking out from our hotel balcony; seeing a beautiful moon above and a majestic ocean below and the silhouette of lush trees; I changed my mind; a feast for the eyes, ears, nostrils. Many decades later- I can still take myself to that mental place- of discovering Paradise.
16
Lucky you!
However, French Polynesia is more the old " authentic" Polynesia, especially once away from island of Tahiti. And my favorite place in Polynesia: Easter Island.
However, French Polynesia is more the old " authentic" Polynesia, especially once away from island of Tahiti. And my favorite place in Polynesia: Easter Island.
7
May I make a suggestion Mr. Tower? Next time, venture east... to France. Lose yourself in a beautiful, calming village with its incomparable earthbound delights to stir all the senses. If you're lucky, there will be some captivating Roman antiquities nearby to wander about, also serving as a stark reminder that the Time of Trump is less than ephemeral. Bon Voyage!
2
Thanks for the tips. If I ever make it to Hawaii, I am definitely going to grab a stick before starting the hike up to the lava.
4
This is not a place of only 'Happy people'. We are beings of immense capacity that love and feel, care and respect, laugh and cry for the world we live in and with, down to the sorrows of seeing our islands desecrated and mocked as a place of only content simpletons servicing visitors of all sorts. Yet, here we know well that this land of aloha raised a fair minded, just and dignified president. and is filled wi th so much more than meets the eyes of passing strangers.
74
Somehow I never caught the Hawaii Bug. The travel time is measured in days not hour,s and the cost ... somehow too much for too little. I am sure it is beautiful and I do include Volcano Park and a real rain forest on my bucket list. Tourist things are best ignored.
I did however escape. For two glorious weeks in Feb. we were in St. Martin. During that time I did not pick up a paper (Miami Herald available daily). I did not watch news and tried my best to ignore it on those occasions when it was on in a store or at a bar (fortunately sports most of the time). My cell phone was in the safe (checked nightly to make sure the house was still there).
It was bliss and it took willpower, but it can be done.
Went to restaurants, lounged on the sad, took a swim, chatted with people, and simply enjoyed my two week insular world.
All went back to abnormal when we got home but at least I had my chance.
I did however escape. For two glorious weeks in Feb. we were in St. Martin. During that time I did not pick up a paper (Miami Herald available daily). I did not watch news and tried my best to ignore it on those occasions when it was on in a store or at a bar (fortunately sports most of the time). My cell phone was in the safe (checked nightly to make sure the house was still there).
It was bliss and it took willpower, but it can be done.
Went to restaurants, lounged on the sad, took a swim, chatted with people, and simply enjoyed my two week insular world.
All went back to abnormal when we got home but at least I had my chance.
7
Excellent writing about a subject dear to my heart, my adopted home and people. I cannot disagree with one word of this travelogue except to say that it is more a personal essay than a traveler's guide.
If you have never been to Hawaii and wish to avoid the tourist traps, take heed. But do venture farther afield than the writer; Maui and Kaua'i are the two most beautiful islands in the archipelago, and should not be missed by anyone who enjoys beaches and jungle splendor.
If you have never been to Hawaii and wish to avoid the tourist traps, take heed. But do venture farther afield than the writer; Maui and Kaua'i are the two most beautiful islands in the archipelago, and should not be missed by anyone who enjoys beaches and jungle splendor.
15
Just to share a contrasting experience of Oahu, we spent a week there exactly a year ago. The goal was for our sixteen-year-old son to take surfing lessons, which he did in spades for the entire week. We stayed in Haleiwa, and found it low-key and absolutely charming. The tourists rolled in for a couple of hours at midday, and were gone by dinner time; most restaurants closed relatively early. We made a couple of visits into Honolulu, which were fun as a contrast, but our time on the North Shore was perfect. Our son still says he felt happier there than anywhere he'd ever been, and can't wait to go back.
14
As a 45 year resident of Honolulu I am appalled at the writer' animosity toward what he encountered in Hawaii. It is as thought he took some pride in dissing what Hawaii has to offer. As a cheapskate, it is no wonder he had trouble finding Paradise. Some look at the world and say, "What mess", Tower should try to look at the world and say, "How beautiful"!
29
Interesting perspective from the true tourist standpoint. Coming from a tourist town like Las Vegas, you see the cheapness and gaudiness and cringe at it when you are young and then when you are old you embrace it as its culture and don't want them to tear it down or take it away. Parts of Hawaii are the same and must be appreciated and celebrated just the same. It is one man's paradise and memory from when he was younger. Perfection is in the eye of the beholder. Thanks for the article. I love the beauty of the Big Island being there for the first time this year and having lunch at the Hawaiian Style Café in Waimea while on a work trip.
4
Suggest you check out Kauai and stay out of tourist traps wherever you go. Enjoy the natural beauty and the beaches.
11
Or take a day trip from Maui over to Molokai and visit the former leper colony!
3
I've been all over the USA and Hawaiians are the friendliest americans. It's just that simple, and that's the best reason to go. Everything else is a plus. There are tourist traps, so what. They look exactly like the ones in California and Florida. Unless you've never left home, and can't figure out how to avoid them — don't worry about them. Don't go diving while drunk. They have sea monsters in the water. Honolulu's Chinatown is great for a Saturday night pub crawl or dinner. Wakiki is too crowded, go just down the road to Diamond Head Beach instead, or better still circle Oahu on the bus. There you're up to speed. Book the ticket.
11
The author, the photographer and the caption writer seemed to have had different trips...The pics of Waikiki don't really look like Waikiki. One of them is captioned "relaxing" while the brown skin guy in dreadlocks is clearly working. The Lava flow pyrotechnics were taken from a boat that the author never mentions. And the "tourists" on Waikiki look like more like photoshoot models, than tourists. It makes one wonder, who paid for this trip, because it's comes across as slick marketing, dressed to seem like a casual real family account of travel to Hawaii.
3
So they went "to escape the news."
Excuse me but you didn't escape the news Wells Tower. Another run of cynicism and negativity. Can't any body be upbeat at least for a few minutes? Or does that mean dumb or corny? It was like Trump and his cabinet accompanied you.
You did do a nice job though at the end when writing about the volcano. Really nice.
Excuse me but you didn't escape the news Wells Tower. Another run of cynicism and negativity. Can't any body be upbeat at least for a few minutes? Or does that mean dumb or corny? It was like Trump and his cabinet accompanied you.
You did do a nice job though at the end when writing about the volcano. Really nice.
3
So funny. I like that you went to the Chief's Lu'au to experience that end of Hawaiian/Polynesian vacation experience, but had the smarts to find the poke. After my first visit over 40 years ago, no other place seemed quite right; I returned with one suitcase and a bicycle, and have had the privilege to live here ever since. Hawaii has many layers - hopefully you will return and experience more of the indigenous culture, especially it's music - which may be quite an effective news buffer.
8
Funny, I did the same thing 38 years ago. Left Berkeley and never looked back. My wife and I are fortunate to have had great careers, we have a nice house in the middle of Oahu and have made great friends. Visitors who have been here before and want a different perspective of our islands might want to check out the Norwegian Cruise Line voyage that takes a week and stops a Kahului, Hilo, Kona, and Nawiliwili. For me, the second biggest Big Island thrill is to go out of Kailua-Kona for the night scuba dive with the Mantas. (First biggest thrill is crossing the Ironman finish line on Alii Dr.)
4
Fun article. Thanks. Love the Big Island. If you hit the lava flows at the right time it is amazing.
1
The Big Island is most friendly when people embrace sense of place and cheer humility and kindness.
Please drive carefully when visiting. Mahalo.
Please drive carefully when visiting. Mahalo.
11
Wonderful article! It gave me several good laughs, and also reignited my desire to visit Hawaii again. It's a magical place, as even someone determined not to like it discovers!
4
El Rado: Were you in Hawaii for work and didn't really want to be there in the first place, not into into the ocean and beach and couldn't wait to get back to the mainland?
1
I can't remember the last time I enjoyed reading something as much as this. Great from start to finish.
6
We did not read the same article. Mean-spirited and ill-informed.
1
I escaped the news by getting shingles. Too sick to read. Although I enjoyed hearing nothing about Trump for four or five days, I'd really rather be in Hawaii.
12
Are you searching for paradise, or peace? Unless you succeed in discovering peace with yourself, your search for paradise is doomed before it starts. Disparaging America's Eden does not diminish the promise of Eden; what it does is shine the light on the internal conflicts that are tearing at the closed borders of your soul.
16
If you're staying on O'ahu, get out of Waikiki and drive around the coast for starters. Take your time. When you stop for lunch or at a shop, ask local folks for suggestions about places to go. We are usually friendly and happy to help out. As for the Big Island of Hawai'i itself, again it's best to drive around and talk to local people. By the way, the photo with the caption "Tourists on Waikiki Beach" is not a photo of Waikiki Beach at all. It looks like it could be the Kalama side of Kailua Beach. Not sure, but it's definitely not Waikiki!!!
8
Very entertaining and illuminating. In a few days we are heading to the island of Maui, our fourth trip to the islands, the first to that one. We have avoided Oahu for the reasons the good author provides. It's really quite predictable but unfortunate that extraordinary places become caricatures of themselves over time.
Kauai is the least touristy with a lot of wonderful outdoor activities. We love the Big Island for the hikes, snorkeling and, for the most part, lack of touristy shtick. One of our favorite memories (and this shows exactly how twisted we are) is the street sign in a residential area just before the speed bumps. The sign says "Slow Humps". Alrighty then - good advice.
Bottom line for us - we can't stay away. The sun, the weather, the smell and feel of the air, the views, the water and the fish in it, the laid back culture - they keep us Pacific Northwest folks coming back - especially during our grey winters.
Kauai is the least touristy with a lot of wonderful outdoor activities. We love the Big Island for the hikes, snorkeling and, for the most part, lack of touristy shtick. One of our favorite memories (and this shows exactly how twisted we are) is the street sign in a residential area just before the speed bumps. The sign says "Slow Humps". Alrighty then - good advice.
Bottom line for us - we can't stay away. The sun, the weather, the smell and feel of the air, the views, the water and the fish in it, the laid back culture - they keep us Pacific Northwest folks coming back - especially during our grey winters.
9
As a longtime resident of Kaua`i now marooned in Los Angeles and planning a move to Eugene...Aloha nui loa and see you when we get there!
O'ahu, the gathering place, Is the best island to visit if you only have a few days. There is something for everyone here---from tourist-filled and convenient Waikiki (where the beach is still beautiful even when crowded) to beaches along the windward and leeward coasts where you can have all the sand you want to yourself. There is plenty here for history buffs--Arizona Memorial (make a free reservation online ahead of time), Bishop Museum, 'Iolani Palace (where Queen Lili'uokalani was imprisoned for a year after the conquest), National Memorial Cemetary at Punchbowl where many members of the 442nd are buried, walks through Chinatown. There are many beautiful hikes--both easy and difficult--some with stunning views. There is entertainment ranging from the Honolulu Symphony to the Polynesian Cultural Center and many local shows in between. You can rent a car or get a 4-day bus pass for $20. You can shop at Nordstroms or at the swap meet. And you will find a lot of really nice people and great food wherever you go.
7
Enjoy Maui! Go to Twin Falls, enjoy the juice, the hike in, and some swim! Then keep going around toward Hana, and on the way make stops for more fruit, juice, swim! ALOHA!
4
I assume the barrage of umbrage at the beginning of the comments was written by humorless Hawaiian jingoists or those with a vested interest in the tourist industry. I have been both a tourist in and a resident of Hawaii, and Tower's report--written with wit and panache--is a reasonable approximation of the average tourist experience. I could write a much more scathing article about living in Hawaii: the brutal Oahu traffic, the exorbitant cost of living, the hordes of snap-happy tourists, the overwhelming military presence, and the ugliness of much of the built environment, just for a start. On the other hand, I could also write about some of the best experiences of my life, such as hiking the Na Pali coast and snorkeling on the Big Island. Hawaii, in other words, is a complex place which, like so many tourist meccas, combines great natural beauty with the worst of American urban planning and chintz.
31
I splurged and took a Hawaiian vacation after the election. The timing was right to get away from the political news and enjoy absolute paradise. I even managed to leave my post-election eye tic there. It was money well-spent. Mahalo.
8
Chief's Luau is east of Waikiki. I have lived in Hawaii since 1981 when I got stationed here with the USAF. This has been home ever since. My first apartment was in Waikiki, where I learned to surf (while in the service). Many of those I served with couldn't wait to leave The Rock. This South Jersey girl couldn't imagine living anywhere else. Waikiki does not call me or most residents and locals. Volcano National Park and Haupuna Bay on opposite sides of Hawaii Island are my favorite places. Most of us on Oahu are working stiffs with little time or money for Waikiki high-end designer shopping or fine or nearly fine dining. Why eat at Cheesecake Factory when you have one at home? Eat local! We prefer hibachis on the beaches we share with friends and families that are closer to our homes. Our diversity speaks to our Democrat tendencies and our aloha for the Obama Ohana.
10
I loved this article. The writer described a Hawaii that I have never really experienced. His article is a great guide of how not to travel.
I am a "Katonk" who was fortunate to marry a woman who grew up in Hilo. When we visit Hilo it takes her just minutes to speak perfect pidgin and to "talk story" with the locals. Unlike the writer, my visits to Hawaii have always been relaxing and relatively inexpensive. For everyone I would recommend eating at "plate lunch" places - tasty and inexpensive food that cannot be found anywhere else
I am a "Katonk" who was fortunate to marry a woman who grew up in Hilo. When we visit Hilo it takes her just minutes to speak perfect pidgin and to "talk story" with the locals. Unlike the writer, my visits to Hawaii have always been relaxing and relatively inexpensive. For everyone I would recommend eating at "plate lunch" places - tasty and inexpensive food that cannot be found anywhere else
9
Did you get a look at that dude's feet?
A thoroughly unfortunate article in missing pretty much everything about Hawai'i. Being a native, the article borders offensive in mocking the essence of the islands and the lovely people that adds to the physical beauty, mostly missed by rude, unconcerned, disrespectful visitors, even down to transplants. Hawai'i is a place formed by those with deep love and respect to a very real Hawai'i culture, not the superficial modern day commercialization of some Disneyesque la-la land in the middle of the pacific advertised through package deals, overpriced land hogging resorts and shallow Hawaiian clothing and leis. Just the photos within the article illustrates how little understanding and appreciation visitors exhibit of the islands. It is a deep love and respect for the land and each other that's more often than not missing in what's written about the islands, and definitely not something to be grasped via a 3-5 days zipping visit, no matter how 'undiscovered' guidebooks or others tell you. Hawai'i is not a romatic in the contemporary reality show sense, it is a place full of real spirit, culture and innate aloha spirit that most people fail to recognize. it's never been just a smile, the service and tips. The care, respect and responsibility real locals pass onto each other and our land is what's largely missed by outsiders. We would respectfully prefer visitors and transplants spend some thoughtful moments reflecting on their influence upon places we visit, no matter where.
53
So beautifully said, BB.
10
Mahalo nui loa, BB.
10
BB, Maika'i! couldn't have said it better myself.
Reading this article the only truly "Aloha" connection this writer experienced was his getting to meet Madame Pele and to feel her Mana! But other than that another unprepared tourist just looking for fun & sun and finding a "Kitchy" tourist luau's not one in our community a Luau from the heart of Hawaii. Ki'i not Tiki's not a bar thing, but was a religious icon, So for our people very much real. So to have yet another review go on about misrepresenting a "Ha'a" as a Tiki War chant/dance in a Sarong( there Samoan and it's a Lavalava). Getting Tapped in Touristy Waikiki, getting Hawked most likely from a Mainland transplant, Niu. and eating "POKE" not PokÉ! I am always truly amazed at the lack of research people do before traveling to a new destination? Why don't people when they travel do some culture research on accepted customs and practices. I do when I go abroad I research a destination so I don't look like this writer: Ignorant, disrespectful and truly out of touch or truly just insensitive to another peoples culture and lifestyle. Like the saying goes..."This isn't Kansas anymore Dorothy" if one respects & learns the first tenant to understand the "Spirit of Aloha" & learns that it's not just idle words but a way of Life. For us in Hawai'i that were born into it, it's in our Iwi/bones and how we govern the way we live & treat others. If you look in the wrong places you'll usually not find the things you seek.
Reading this article the only truly "Aloha" connection this writer experienced was his getting to meet Madame Pele and to feel her Mana! But other than that another unprepared tourist just looking for fun & sun and finding a "Kitchy" tourist luau's not one in our community a Luau from the heart of Hawaii. Ki'i not Tiki's not a bar thing, but was a religious icon, So for our people very much real. So to have yet another review go on about misrepresenting a "Ha'a" as a Tiki War chant/dance in a Sarong( there Samoan and it's a Lavalava). Getting Tapped in Touristy Waikiki, getting Hawked most likely from a Mainland transplant, Niu. and eating "POKE" not PokÉ! I am always truly amazed at the lack of research people do before traveling to a new destination? Why don't people when they travel do some culture research on accepted customs and practices. I do when I go abroad I research a destination so I don't look like this writer: Ignorant, disrespectful and truly out of touch or truly just insensitive to another peoples culture and lifestyle. Like the saying goes..."This isn't Kansas anymore Dorothy" if one respects & learns the first tenant to understand the "Spirit of Aloha" & learns that it's not just idle words but a way of Life. For us in Hawai'i that were born into it, it's in our Iwi/bones and how we govern the way we live & treat others. If you look in the wrong places you'll usually not find the things you seek.
6
He brought way too much baggage on his trip. Did he think he was going to Disney World? That sounds like more his style. His little son had the right idea. Sit in the sand, look at the sky, revel in the water. That plus the uncommon friendliness of the people and the excellence of real Hawaiian food (not the tourist luau) makes it the vacation of dreams.
17
Always nice to live somewhere that other US nationals consider a kind of third-tier colony. Don't trip over your leis on the flight back to the 'real world'.
7
Right after Nov. 8 my husband and I retreated to the North Coast of California, with an extended meander east on Hwy 128 to Calistoga and St. Helena. Didn't listen to or watch any news. Talked with winemakers. Tasted too. Ate meals prepared with food that had been harvested that morning. Walked on beaches with sand as black as any on the Big Island. We have been to Hawaii many times, loving it more each time. There are other "Hawaii"s awaiting us all. Great article, fantastic wit, brilliant writing. Thanks.
3
While I understand the attempt at Updike-overwroughtness, I would say that one thing I appreciate most about being a grownup - I'm responsible for my own happiness. I have no one else to blame. This writer should take that lesson to heart.
Two specific points:
Bringing your toddler into a pond with a cut on his body, when the warning sign says that there's danger of bacterial infection, is just awful. Don't do that. Children are raised by adults for a reason.
Making fun of the coconut-selling man for wanting to keep the extra $10 is really low. I'm sure he'd love to be able to take a 5 day vacation like you just did and can't. He was hoping for a gesture of generosity from you - only the people reading this article understood that none would be forthcoming. Not only did you skip the opportunity to be generous to someone who has less than you have, you made fun of him to boot. Not cool.
Two specific points:
Bringing your toddler into a pond with a cut on his body, when the warning sign says that there's danger of bacterial infection, is just awful. Don't do that. Children are raised by adults for a reason.
Making fun of the coconut-selling man for wanting to keep the extra $10 is really low. I'm sure he'd love to be able to take a 5 day vacation like you just did and can't. He was hoping for a gesture of generosity from you - only the people reading this article understood that none would be forthcoming. Not only did you skip the opportunity to be generous to someone who has less than you have, you made fun of him to boot. Not cool.
67
Indeed. Also, I live on the BI and probably know the specific man selling coconuts on that day (it's a very small community in Puna) and some random dickhead Harvard educated tourist writer for the NYT's probably doesn't have the first clue how that man ended up there. Puna is a very intense and interesting place... it's a place of refuge for a lot of people with mental health issues, drug addiction, and horrible upbringings. It's somewhat of a safe place for people who literally couldn't survive anywhere else in America because our country is so F*messed up that - sometimes a man needs a place to survive... maybe selling coconuts. I'm a very liberally minded person, but don't go into someone else's space and judge them... when you have no idea what you're talking about. Nice story brah. Go back to the East coast and figure out why you're not happy there.
2
Pro Tip: Avoid the tourist traps! After many many trips to Oahu, Maui, TBI, I can say the best (BEST!) food/drinks are in the local, low key, AFFORDABLE places. Get a Poke bowl, and relax!!
5
The best vacation I had was in Hawaii. My family and I spent 5 days in paradise away from the tourist scene. I loved the beaches, temples, mountains and scuba diving; but most of all the rich history and the diversity our 50th state has. I can't wait to go back!
Aloha!
Aloha!
5
You know you have met someone truly cynical when they claim to be untouched by Hawaii's many charms. Neve have visited Oahu but the other islands are bits of paradise on Earth and that is no hype. Hawaii is primitive nature and spiritual beauty for those that possess the eyes to behold.
11
What a wonderful testament to the power of toddlers to make the whole world look new and amazing, even to jaded adults. Small children can be wonderful vacation companions almost anywhere if you avoid restaurants and other indoor spaces and spend as much time as possible anywhere in the great outdoors, especially on the water!
3
All desirable tropical destinations have been degraded by tourism. As a Canadian, I much prefer an Americanized Pacific ex-paradise over pretty much anything else save perhaps New Zealand. So many tropical places are violent, corrupt or otherwise degraded by man.
For a feeling of what Hawaii may have been like 50 years ago, I would suggest visiting Kauai, Molokai or Lanai before Larry Ellison, Mark Zuckerberg and others destroy what's left.
For a feeling of what Hawaii may have been like 50 years ago, I would suggest visiting Kauai, Molokai or Lanai before Larry Ellison, Mark Zuckerberg and others destroy what's left.
10
First of all, either that's some sort of optical illusion, or that's one huge sea turtle. Secondly, HI just like most other "destinations" offers a tourist "experience" at a price you can't afford that you could and should avoid at all costs. In HI, they even have a name for those of us that do them: Haole meaning "to be bilked". Third, the Aloha spirit could exist, but pretty much doesn't because of all the Haoles. Lastly, as the author knows, if you view the world through the lens of your toddler, lots of things can be beautiful, even in HI, even when surrounded by the petrochemical tanks and tire dealerships.
3
There are large turtles (leatherbacks, 6 feet from tip to tip), but they do 't look like this on, which is probably 2 feet or so. Tricks of telephoto lens!
After second look at photo: that may be a leatherback turtle, they can weigh 1,000. You can volunteer for an Earthwatch project helping to save the endangered species.
About 10 years ago, my family I had the pleasure of visiting Kauai for a week and it was the epitome of the perfect vacation. At that time, it was widely known as the least commercialized island of the chain. Driving through the Tree Tunnel, the snorkeling on Poipu Beach, ATV tours up Mt. Waialeale, and the local food (including the shaved ice) just could not be matched by any other vacation destination.
To make it more extraordinary, the people and the scenery made the trip everything I could have imagined and then some. I could literally feel time stop while I absorbed the surroundings. I am still stunned by the magnificence I had the opportunity to see in person.
To make it more extraordinary, the people and the scenery made the trip everything I could have imagined and then some. I could literally feel time stop while I absorbed the surroundings. I am still stunned by the magnificence I had the opportunity to see in person.
6
The article fails to mention the overcrowded traffic situation. H1 is like a parking lot and moves as quickly as a turtle and finding parking spaces is that much harder.
3
I went to Oahu and Big Island on a life-changing 9-day trip one year ago. Hawaii is truly enchanting. I don't feel the enchantment coming through in this article. If I had a few thousand words to write about the Big Island, I certainly would not find space to mention how cool the roadkill of invasive animals are, or how Americans can unite around poking lava with a stick. When you poke lava with a stick, you are disrespecting Hawaiian culture, and you're breaking the law. I would have mentioned the stunning Hapu'u ferns, the scenic hike through Kilaeua Iki, the mezmorizing plant life. A walk through the lava tube nearby is kid-friendly as well. And on Oahu, there are so many beautiful corners to explore. Try a visit to the Waikalua Sugar Mill farmers market after a morning hike to Kaena Point with scenic views and swim in the tide pools after watching the monk seals.
15
Yes, the many hiking places are extraordinary! And you can zip line through jungle areas that were filmed for Jurassic Park. Stunning scenery.
5
The last time I went to Kauai, I sprained my knee, three people drowned in eight days, and the traffic was terrible. Plenty of problems for everyone!
2
Not since "A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again" have I enjoyed a travel story so much. Thanks Wells Tower - you knocked this out of the park.
7
On the contrary - rather awful.
When visiting Hawaii, we were so impressed with the genuine hospitality of every "local" we encountered. I think because the weather is near perfect much of the time coupled with the Eden-like scenery, how can anyone NOT be friendly, warm, engaging and happy to share their island with visitors. No one ever called us tourists - we were welcomed and treated as visitors to their home.
We never missed reading the news or seeing what the politicians were up to. Didn't want to know, could not care less. Every fiber of our being was on vacation, especially our souls. We felt so invigorated while we were there. I can still recall the smell of those sweet and beautiful flowers that surrounded our hotel. The harsh reminder of "back to reality and life" kicked in the moment the plane touched the runway at O'Hare.
5
My spouse and I recently returned from a blissful, two-week hiatus from political-outrage-land, our third trip to Hawaii (yes, it is possible to be a frugal person and travel here) and first to the Big Island. What blessed relief. I didn't hear one #45-inspired remark, pro or con, from the well-heeled tourists/retirees-who-live-here, nor from the generations-long residents at the bowling alley or the county parks. I felt safe (volcanoes, rip-tides, and spine-snapping surf notwithstanding). I thought about #45 being a blip in a long arc of time. I nurtured the hope that this blip is not the last thing that occurs in that arc.
4
I enjoyed this article. Not a description of the best Hawaii offers, but not too far from many people's experience. Unless you plan carefully and work very hard setting up your trip, it is hard to avoid the tourist lures. I thoroughly enjoyed the writing and the honesty. No matter how much one's romantic image of the islands is eroded by crowds and commercialized culture, the islands' incredible beauty and the friendliness of the people shine through.
30
There is a reason why the tourist lure, well, lure tourists. They are incredibly fun.
I had no inclination to go to Hawaii until a sister moved there. I love the place.
I had no inclination to go to Hawaii until a sister moved there. I love the place.
5
The writing in this piece was as a delightful vacation as I suspect the trip was. Thank you for writing this, and writing it so deliciously.
20
Brilliant writing! Thanks for the escape.
10
This article was a Hawaiian-like respite from the usual travel-log palaver, as Mr. Tower might write. I laughed repeatedly while reading this. A writer reflective enough to see the humor of "disgorging" in the Philippines, and sufficiently astute to relate an unfortunate "eruption" by his son, back in the car, with the spectacle of Kilauea despite the distractions of rain and spousal hostility, and to bring the reader along for the experiences, is a writer worth reading and re-reading. Ignore the killjoy few; negatives exist here just as at Ahalanui Pond. Fear not. Read anyway. You know Hawaii is great, of course, Polynesian and American, too, without need for cloying (Thank you, again, Wells) superlatives. Writing like this is like the Suprette's shoyu poke; not to be missed. ...Both make me want to go to Hawaii.
94
Mahalo for putting this ironic travelogue in perspective...some are getting so upset by even the mention of negatives in Hawaii...I guess it does speak to their love and respect for this special place, but it does have both sides of most coins...and in the end, you can tell the author was smitten by the magic, as are most.
2
This does not at all resemble a place I've been too over a dozen times, sometimes for months at a at time. This isn't about Hawaii, the most isolated chain of islands in the world, a place that even many seasoned off-the beaten track travelers consider one of the most beautiful, this about Hawaii as Disneyland.
18
As one who has visited Hawaii about 40 times since doing Peace Corps training there in 1968 I can laugh heartily at the author's description of the tacky side of Hawaii which is most certainly there, but I am so glad that he also stumbled on a bit of what makes it a place we keep going back to for the magic.
We don't go to luaus or Waikiki but do lots of snorkeling (including many encounters with sea turtles and rays and an amazing variety of fish and coral); we hike on trails with few tourists seeing native plants and forest birds; we enjoy the balmy climate (and the contrast between wet side and dry side of the Big Island); we stroll around Kapiolani Park as the local kids practice soccer and extended families have barbecue parties with a view of Diamond Head and the ocean; we buy food at a non-touristy Honolulu deli and enjoy it sitting on an oceanside balcony watching the sunset; we stay in a lovely rehabbed cottage run by a welcoming and helpful couple that is just a stone's throw from the Hilo famers' market. Yes the awful crowds are there but when you know what to look for in a dream vacation Hawaii can provide it.
We don't go to luaus or Waikiki but do lots of snorkeling (including many encounters with sea turtles and rays and an amazing variety of fish and coral); we hike on trails with few tourists seeing native plants and forest birds; we enjoy the balmy climate (and the contrast between wet side and dry side of the Big Island); we stroll around Kapiolani Park as the local kids practice soccer and extended families have barbecue parties with a view of Diamond Head and the ocean; we buy food at a non-touristy Honolulu deli and enjoy it sitting on an oceanside balcony watching the sunset; we stay in a lovely rehabbed cottage run by a welcoming and helpful couple that is just a stone's throw from the Hilo famers' market. Yes the awful crowds are there but when you know what to look for in a dream vacation Hawaii can provide it.
12
Last year my wife and I went to the Big Island to celebrate the end of her cancer treatment. When there, we hiked and swam and simply enjoyed the unparalleled natural beauty. We love Hawaii for its outdoor lifestyle.
We learned a long time ago that the stuff you don't have to pay for is the best parts of life. It concerns me that more and more people are stuck indoors in an invented world. Our souls are shrivelling in front of our screens.
Getting outside is necessary for all of us. To be able to do that in Hawaii is a gift, but it can be done anywhere with great effect. I travel the world all year and have discovered that there are few places where going outside to enjoy the natural world, does not both humble and elevate us at the same time.
We learned a long time ago that the stuff you don't have to pay for is the best parts of life. It concerns me that more and more people are stuck indoors in an invented world. Our souls are shrivelling in front of our screens.
Getting outside is necessary for all of us. To be able to do that in Hawaii is a gift, but it can be done anywhere with great effect. I travel the world all year and have discovered that there are few places where going outside to enjoy the natural world, does not both humble and elevate us at the same time.
33
Phil from Canada - thank you for the reminder to get out and about, and best wishes to your wife...
5
I was really enjoying the tongue in cheek descriptions until you got to the part where you skirted the law and partook in the illegal economy.
This is why America is going down. It decries that jobs and manufacturing are going away, yet promotes to buy at the big box store, while travelling to and staying at places that only take away from the local economy.
Shame.
This is why America is going down. It decries that jobs and manufacturing are going away, yet promotes to buy at the big box store, while travelling to and staying at places that only take away from the local economy.
Shame.
2
Please explain what illegal economy the author "partook" of. I went back to reread after your comment, but could not find anything illegal.
3
@moonlight lady
Really, if you don't see it or notice it, the that is part of the problem as well ... yes ?
I will give you a hint. Staying somewhere that is unregulated and breaking bylaws. ( not supporting via taxation the local economy, government, roads, security, schools. hospitals and so on and so forth ... )
Get the idea ?
Really, if you don't see it or notice it, the that is part of the problem as well ... yes ?
I will give you a hint. Staying somewhere that is unregulated and breaking bylaws. ( not supporting via taxation the local economy, government, roads, security, schools. hospitals and so on and so forth ... )
Get the idea ?
Terrific article, written with wit and insight. It captures the many highs (and few lows) of visiting Hawaii, and of traveling anywhere with a young child. The many scolding comments below are even more depressing than the news the author (in what I assume was a literary device of sorts) was purporting to escape. Thanks for the great read.
18
What a delightful article! Thank you for writing this!
10
Really who cares if this is a spot on take on Hawaii? It's undoubtedly a spot on take on the writer's vacation. The writing is fun and good and I enjoyed the piece.
10
I see a lot of negative comments on going to luau or that we all should avoid Hawaii as we are destroying one of the world's wonders.
People go to luau for the experience. Was it good? For some yes. It's their money and time.
Visitors go to Hawaii to see and experience the beauty of one of the world's wonder. Stop blaming the visitors, most of them do not trash the place.
People go to luau for the experience. Was it good? For some yes. It's their money and time.
Visitors go to Hawaii to see and experience the beauty of one of the world's wonder. Stop blaming the visitors, most of them do not trash the place.
6
As a local from Hawai'i, I admit that the tourist destinations are pricey in Hawai'i, but stepping out of the confines of Waikiki will quickly give you another view of my island- one that can be both nice and cheap (in comparison). If Mr. Towers wanted a more authentic experience of Hawai’i, he should have gone to the local joints. Places like ‘Helena’s Hawaiian Food’ would have been a cheaper and more delicious alternative to the bland food they churn out at luaus. People in Hawai’i love their food, so go to local joints and talk to the locals there. I seriously cringed when I read that Mr. Towers went to the Chief's Luau. Will you be entertained? Maybe. Enchanted? Eh, nope.
The magic of Hawai’i is not only in the lovely scenery but also the beautiful souls of the inhabitants there. Visiting my home from Washington D.C. re-energizes me every single time.
The magic of Hawai’i is not only in the lovely scenery but also the beautiful souls of the inhabitants there. Visiting my home from Washington D.C. re-energizes me every single time.
121
Last time I went to Hawaii, I specifically avoided luaus. They are Mormon owned and essentially function as Mormon fundraisers. Unless that's changed, I don't need the schlock or to fund the Mormon Church.
1
Sorry, but this is the worst article on Hawai'i that I have ever read. In fact, it's one of the worse travel articles I've ever read. Perhaps the author should confine his travels to North Carolina: he doesn't deserve a visit to the islands.
80
The author would be happier if he stayed in NC . He is apparently unable to comprehend the 'aloha' message. No mention of , or appreciation of the Hawaiian music which could have caressed his impressions into a fond memory.
27
I read once that life is really made of moments, not years. Who can recall any decade with specificity ? But we all have peak moments that will live with us forever. Last year with my family, on a moonless, clear, night at Hawaii National Park, looking down at the glowing, orange caldera, and looking up at more stars than I ever thought could possibly exist. It quite literally took my breath away, and put me in my place.
9
Yeah - do what he recommends and stay the heck away from Hawaii!
That way those of us who love it won't have to deal with you. ;)
That way those of us who love it won't have to deal with you. ;)
48
We too had a trip planned the day after the election - it was supposed to be a relaxing week after my wife spent hours coordinating voting in a local precinct. She arrived home late election night to me stunned in the Lazyboy and daughter laying in the fetal position on the couch, the election over and done, the country done with it. Fast forward on Maui - this truly became a getaway from politics. We funned and sunned, ran and drove, totally enjoyed ourselves overhearing no political conversations for 8 days apart from our own occasional groans of disbelief and concerns for our future and that of the country. Our previous trips had been to Hawaii island (2001 and 2010), the big island where we had friends who moved there in 1995. We did experience a luau once, when they were $80 - we passed on paying since I am a vegetarian but there were no guards or gates so we ate anyway, along with the high paying crowd. To those who criticize the author's experience, know that with a 19 month old it's hard to do what you would prefer to do in an exotic locale - while keeping them happy. I laughed out loud a few times while reading this - and of course, since we got back to California, the news has become even worse - so thank you for your writing and for the opportunity to think back about our times in the islands.
8
This is the best thing I have read in weeks. Bravo, WT. I feel bad those who consumed this as a travelogue. It is really another brilliant story along the lines of those published in Everything Ravaged, Everything Burned. The vividness provides the reader a chance to escape without the need to fly to Hawaii. It nicely captured the joy and disappointment that accompany a family trip.
To those who enjoy good writing, ignore the criticisms of logistics and travel planning that you will read throughout the comment section.
To those who enjoy good writing, ignore the criticisms of logistics and travel planning that you will read throughout the comment section.
16
On 9/11 I was camping within Volcanoes Nat'l Park. There was an immediate flying ban that I was unaware of. I was not yet aware of the events.
Suddenly the surroundings became completely silent, without the many tour helicopters hovering noisily overhead or a sightseeing airplane in the sky.
I'll never forget the complete, still quiet that encompassed the entire area.
Suddenly the surroundings became completely silent, without the many tour helicopters hovering noisily overhead or a sightseeing airplane in the sky.
I'll never forget the complete, still quiet that encompassed the entire area.
13
My husband and I visited the islands a few years back. The only two things that interested me at all in Honolulu were Pearl Harbor and the Ilikai Hotel where Jack Lord stood on the roof in the opening scenes of the original "Hawaii Five-O" series.
The Pearl Harbor visitor center was packed and the tour to the U.S.S. Arizona we booked in advance was filled up . . . but there was complete silence once we stepped aboard the memorial. Visitors from all over the world were on this tour. Just seeing the oil slicks and air bubbles still coming from the Arizona was moving beyond words. It truly is sacred ground and was treated as such by everyone present. I had absolutely no interest in anything else in Honolulu.
However, the island of Maui is a different story. If a person is interested in the beautiful array of what nature has to offer, i.e., waterfalls, floral, fauna, the colors and smells of the flowers, the birds and an overall zen-like atmosphere filled with beautiful and relaxing landscapes - this is the place to chill and enjoy for a few days or weeks. This magnificent island is the real diamond of the Hawaiian Islands. There is very little commercialization, if at all, compared to "the big" island.
9
Perhaps you are one of the legions of mainlanders who think that "the Big Island" is the island with Honolulu on it. It's not. that's Oahu (and Oahu, if you get out of the city, does have plenty of beautiful, quiet places).
Maui is far more commercially developed, per mile, than “the Big Island” written about here. And the Big Island has all if not more of the Zen & natural things you describe, albeit spread out over a larger distance. Both Islands have roughly the same population, but one is 6x larger…
Maui is indeed magnificent; my favorite of the bunch. But living there for many years I came to understand that "her beauty is also her curse”, as the developers and 2nd & 3rd homeowners just keep coming, the paid-for politicians just keep rolling over, and the place gets “paved over and brightly lit” at a more intense clip than the other “neighbor” islands.
Maui is far more commercially developed, per mile, than “the Big Island” written about here. And the Big Island has all if not more of the Zen & natural things you describe, albeit spread out over a larger distance. Both Islands have roughly the same population, but one is 6x larger…
Maui is indeed magnificent; my favorite of the bunch. But living there for many years I came to understand that "her beauty is also her curse”, as the developers and 2nd & 3rd homeowners just keep coming, the paid-for politicians just keep rolling over, and the place gets “paved over and brightly lit” at a more intense clip than the other “neighbor” islands.
9
David B - you are absolutely correct. I always get "the big island" mixed up with Hawaii and Oahu. Obviously, geography was never my strong suit in school. Thank you for your correction and for pointing out the differences. I think every American should visit Pearl Harbor, if possible. Other than NYC, it's the only other place on American soil that was attacked. And Maui (at least I got that one correct) is like a mini paradise. If someone wanted only relaxation and beauty and none of the "tourist trap" stuff, Maui is the place to see. Thank you again for your corrections.
4
Thank you, David B
2
NYTMagazineMath: Take David Foster Wallace. Add Karl Ove Knausgaard. Now subtract all wit, beauty, insight and genuinely inventive prose. The cynicism that remains? Multiply by a factor of 10.
19
Going to Waikiki is like planning your New York City trip around the M&M store in Times Square. Congratulations on the Big Island and Hilo Side; at least you saw some of what makes this place special but next time head up to Waipio and stop for fresh poke along the way. I'm not going to tell you where
12
I spent 10 years in Hawaii, working and raising my children. This essay is, I'm afraid, mostly spot on. The tragedy of Hawaii is that it persists in propping up tourism as it's number one source of income. Because of that fact, the islands remain a dichotomy: The fake one, a tropical Disneyland designed to entice tourists with a vision of Hawaii that never was. And the real Hawaii, wallowing in poverty. Saddest of all is that the local citizenry seems to care very little for preserving the natural wonders of its islands. Driving beyond the tourist areas reveals garbage on the side of the roads and an outdated crumbling infrastructure. Corruption in government is rampant, overdevelopment threatens the natural treasures, and obeisance to foreign economic interests trumps all. And little of this is apparent to the tourists who stay, on average, for six days. Who could blame them? Paradise lost.
63
Did you ever want to live in Hawaii in the first place? There are a number of people who have to be there for work, often military, who do not like the beaches, the water, island life and have island fever and can't wait to get of there and back to the mainland . It's not for everyone.
5
"The tragedy of Hawaii is that it persists in propping up tourism as it's number one source of income."
What else would you suggest? An even bigger military presence? More industrialization?
What else would you suggest? An even bigger military presence? More industrialization?
3
Its funny that after living there for 10 years you blame the "local citizenry" for rubbish. I guess you never counted yourself as one, which says a lot about why the problem you describe exists.
2
It sounds like visiting the Southwest, where I care not about the First People's Fry Bread Booths and Ancient Graffiti, but like the work of nature without humans. I hated Carnivals as a kid and still do not enjoy them- especially on vacation.
The problem with tourism is being a tourist. Even if you are not Sheeple from the tour bus, they congregate around things you would like to see. I now know why the locals in Europe avoid certain attractions and areas during the peak tourist season.
I would have love to seen Hawaii before it was ruined with tourists. It was without a doubt glorious, but I have no stomach for the hucksters, crying babies, parking lots and brigades of tourists. I still remember my first trip to the Grand Canyon where the entire South Rim was overrun with tourists-- many of which were kids who obviously did not want to be there, or the drunken Frenchman screaming at the rocks far below that cared not that he even had set foot in the Park.
Edward Abbey had it right:
“No more cars in national parks. Let the people walk. Or ride horses, bicycles, mules, wild pigs--anything--but keep the automobiles and the motorcycles and all their motorized relatives out. We have agreed not to drive our automobiles into cathedrals, concert halls, art museums, legislative assemblies, private bedrooms and the other sanctums of our culture; we should treat our national parks with the same deference, for they, too, are holy places.”
― Desert Solitaire
The problem with tourism is being a tourist. Even if you are not Sheeple from the tour bus, they congregate around things you would like to see. I now know why the locals in Europe avoid certain attractions and areas during the peak tourist season.
I would have love to seen Hawaii before it was ruined with tourists. It was without a doubt glorious, but I have no stomach for the hucksters, crying babies, parking lots and brigades of tourists. I still remember my first trip to the Grand Canyon where the entire South Rim was overrun with tourists-- many of which were kids who obviously did not want to be there, or the drunken Frenchman screaming at the rocks far below that cared not that he even had set foot in the Park.
Edward Abbey had it right:
“No more cars in national parks. Let the people walk. Or ride horses, bicycles, mules, wild pigs--anything--but keep the automobiles and the motorcycles and all their motorized relatives out. We have agreed not to drive our automobiles into cathedrals, concert halls, art museums, legislative assemblies, private bedrooms and the other sanctums of our culture; we should treat our national parks with the same deference, for they, too, are holy places.”
― Desert Solitaire
102
You don't see yourself as part of the brigade of tourists?
4
I recommend Molokai.
Abbey had it even more right when he left his camp after the road surveyors passed through and pulled up all their elevation stakes and tore down all their orange surveyor's tape in his own form of protest. Laughed out loud.
The problem with our parks is TMP. The South Rim is now almost a hellish place over run – Disneyland like. I will not return.
But let them all go there, and enjoy the limitless other places they are not, because of the lack of paved roads and air conditioned rooms and cafes and ice cream shops. You can find many places where you will not see another soul all day.
The problem with our parks is TMP. The South Rim is now almost a hellish place over run – Disneyland like. I will not return.
But let them all go there, and enjoy the limitless other places they are not, because of the lack of paved roads and air conditioned rooms and cafes and ice cream shops. You can find many places where you will not see another soul all day.
1
Having been to Hawaii many times since the age of 14, I would say everyone should stay away. It's the absolute worst place on earth, go to Disneyland instead. Or Atlantic City. Or Las Vegas. A water park would be money better spent. Resorts in the Caribbean have everything Hawaii claims to and then some— casinos! Hawaii means overpriced everything and rain! Humidity! Fake culture dolled out at dining experiences. Not worth the time or money. All the talk about Aloha spirit and paradise is just tourism rhetoric. Take my word for it. Believe me, there is no worse place than the islands. Stay away. Stay far, far away.
44
The happiest day of my life was without doubt the day I left Hawaii.
2
Casinos? None in this article talks about who has the best casino. You've been to Hawaii too many times, time to stay away.
2
Wow, you really couldn't be more wrong with your comment. If your idea of a vacation is drinking Mai Tai's at the resort pool, and finding your tiny space of beach to lay on all day, then go right ahead and head to Cancun or the Caribbean. But if you want to explore, and see some of the most beautiful scenery in the world, explore the vastly different islands of Hawaii. If you judge your perception of Hawaii on Waikiki, then you have clearly done yourself a huge disservice in your "many" trips to Hawaii. I just returned from 2 weeks on Oahu, Maui, and Kauai, and found it to be some of the beautiful landscapes in the world. If you are an adventurer that enjoys hitting the road and exploring natural wonders, hiking, snorkeling, amazing food, and amazing people, then the Hawaiian islands are the place for you. If I wanted to sit on my behind and have someone feed me watered down beverages (which is fine if thats your thing) before going to see the resort "evening show" and gambling at a crappy casino, I could easily go on a cruise to the Caribbean (or partake in an even tastier beverage on my couch). But I enjoy actually putting some research into my trip, getting off the beaten path, and exploring the amazing scenery, and interacting with the people that have called the islands their home for generations. Not trying to sound condescending, but we clearly have very different priorities on our vacations...
4
In my entire life, I have never wanted to go to Hawaii....until I read this essay. Now, it's on my 'to-do' list. Thanks, Mr. Towers!
6
In the mid 1960s I spent an 6-week summer school term (high school) at a boarding school in the mountains of Kauai...math and Hawaiian history and language in the morning then a bus to the beach for an afternoon of surfing. The school had a deal with the Kauai Surf Hotel to use their beach and surf boards. Climed Waialeale and wandered around Waimea Canyon some. I did not do any of the tourist stuff mentioned in this article...I was in a different Hawaii.
8
Boy did you miss the point! You're supposed to research in advance, find the nice beaches without the tourists, dine at the hole-in-the-wall restaurants without the tourists, hike without the tourists, catch the sunrises and sunsets without the tourists, et cetera. The bed and breakfast folks helped us find the non-touristy beauty. I will admit to a memorable lunch on Kauai interrupted by a gang of feral chickens, resulting in a screaming daughter on a picnic table (alas, before digital cameras)... We love Hawaii...I wish we could go more often.
No wonder Americans are considered ugly when we travel.
No wonder Americans are considered ugly when we travel.
70
I would contend that Concerned Reader maybe missed the point too?
4
Thank you for this touching tribute to David Foster Wallace's "A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again."
I've never been to Hawaii or on a cruise, and I thank you for your honest, introspective reportage.
I've never been to Hawaii or on a cruise, and I thank you for your honest, introspective reportage.
7
Why the gratuitous "in a bid to escape the news"? Can the NYT not even publish a travel article without sideswiping Trump? Does anyone else find this tedious?
13
No.
15
Whoa, someone seems a bit sensitive. I totally know what the writer meant about the news, regardless of political affiliation -- Syria, North Korea, daily U.S. shooting deaths, immigrants unnecessarily targeted, unprecedented investigations into our elections, proposed radical budget cuts to human services -- what sane person wouldn't want a restorative reprieve?
I love visiting Hawaii and was briefly transported back to those island charms -- thank you writer Wells!
I love visiting Hawaii and was briefly transported back to those island charms -- thank you writer Wells!
4
Let's see, North Korea firing four missiles into the Sea of Japan; North Korea testing potential ICBM engines; a populist candidate defeated in the Netherlands; a terror attack at the airport in Paris; Iraqi forces capturing more of Mosul; a friendly shooting incident in Afghanistan; a teacher abducting a teenager in the U.S; refugees strafed by a helicopter while in a boat near Yemen; Turkey a major NATO power at odds with Europe -- news worth escaping I guess.
1
I agree that Jed's judgment is on point. It seems like he alone in your group truly appreciated the charm and allure of the islands.
11
What!? You drove out to Kahuku but didn't try the Rainbow Shave Ice? That is a serious mistake! Hey, if you don't like to be a tourist in Hawaii, why you do only touristy stuff, eh brah? Put on a snorkel and chill a little; body surf Bellows and have some down time!
23
Well(s), you missed the Honolulu Academy of the Arts and the Bishop Museum. Both are spectacular and offer a chance for everyone (even writers) to learn about where they are. Next time take some curiosity lessons from your child
23
Seeing that picture here of zillions of white tourists hanging out within close range of each other I see "Ugly America" once again destroying one of God's Gifts.
9
so negative. i see people (how do you know they are americans . what makes they 'ugly' ?) with their friends and families getting out of their own small orbits and experiencing the wonders of the natural world. Travel broadens horizons and is. indeed, a road to peace. (I am curious how many Trump voters are big travelers.)
(PS - walking is a passive recreation and does not destroy lava fields.)
(PS - walking is a passive recreation and does not destroy lava fields.)
1
It is a strange look at Hawaii for sure; the type of sniping complaining travelogue that reveals much more about the writerand his poor choice of itineraries sabotaged further by a baby in diapers. I guess in a beautiful island chain full of choices these were the ones that you could make to ensure a five-days of irony.
We on the other hand traveled to Hawaii and suffered through election night on Maui at a beachfront condo. When we got the news of Hillary's defeat we still had hours to go before we could go to sleep. My daughter in law cried and no amount of Vodka and tonic on the terrace could console her.
Yet the next morning she donned her snorkel and went with my wife to look for turtles. My son and 3 year old grandson sat with me on the beach building castles, watching the sparkling ocean slip in and rearrange the sand and flood our moats. By night time we were all ready to sleep, though our conversations included what is now transpiring in Congress; this whole discussion of how the Russians had hijacked our election. There was nothing prescient about our insights, it was already being discussed in the news.
My only other trip was a five-day solo one to visit friends who live in Honolulu. Mr. Tower would have been well advised to do some research before going. In a neighborhood not far from Obama Towers was a little restaurant where Bill and Hillary sat at a table which now bears a plaque. They could have avoided heating the poke in a hot rental car. Etc. Etc.
We on the other hand traveled to Hawaii and suffered through election night on Maui at a beachfront condo. When we got the news of Hillary's defeat we still had hours to go before we could go to sleep. My daughter in law cried and no amount of Vodka and tonic on the terrace could console her.
Yet the next morning she donned her snorkel and went with my wife to look for turtles. My son and 3 year old grandson sat with me on the beach building castles, watching the sparkling ocean slip in and rearrange the sand and flood our moats. By night time we were all ready to sleep, though our conversations included what is now transpiring in Congress; this whole discussion of how the Russians had hijacked our election. There was nothing prescient about our insights, it was already being discussed in the news.
My only other trip was a five-day solo one to visit friends who live in Honolulu. Mr. Tower would have been well advised to do some research before going. In a neighborhood not far from Obama Towers was a little restaurant where Bill and Hillary sat at a table which now bears a plaque. They could have avoided heating the poke in a hot rental car. Etc. Etc.
31
Most commenters didn't read the whole piece. We're booked to do almost the same trip as the author (although two weeks instead of five days, and most of our time will be on the Big Island, and also no baby) and can't wait. We like to travel much as the author does, and we'll skip the luau, thanks, but can't wait for the lava and turtles and poke and history and stars and Hawaiian hospitality and break from the Real World.
13
IF you go to Maui, don't drive the road to Hanai (tourist trap) but drive the other side of the island as the road is now paved, the views are spectacular, chickens run across the road and the trip is an adventure. I also thought the lavender farm worth the visit as the view of the island is incredible. On Kauai, there is a Hindu temple that is also interesting but sort of off the beaten path. Hope you enjoy your stay.
2
In Hawaii; I love the Sun, the warm ocean, authentic empathy of people, American--but still away from American politics. I love running in the shade and swimming in the Sun. Don't mind either the rainbows on the hills or the tourists in Waikiki. My skin and bones feel warm and the soul feels rich. The corals are still alive and the beaches better than mexico or the east or west coast of US. I hope the writer revisits when the children are a bit older and can get more sleep to connect with the nature. I for one, cannot live without Hawaii !
94
You realize you could have turned off your TV...right?
And they have TVs in Hawaii....right?
And they have TVs in Hawaii....right?
4
I love Hawaii too. And used to live there. I went back last year and saw that, unfortunately the coral reef at Hanama Bay on Oahu is now just about dead.
4
Hawaii is definitely not "away from American politics." Plenty of government corruption here, but also a now famous attorney general and federal judge here. Something to do with a travel ban. Also, many here consider the islands under U.S. military occupation. It might be far from the mainland, but it's not far from American politics.
Well done Mr Tower. Although I don't quite understand the less then supportive comments of your your travel log especially with sentences like "And for many of us, it is a magical evening. The magic has to do with the moon, the thud and rustle of the surf."
I think their cure requires a bit more listening to the "thud and rustle of the surf" with a couple of Mai Tia's thrown in to fix what ails them. Aloha.
I think their cure requires a bit more listening to the "thud and rustle of the surf" with a couple of Mai Tia's thrown in to fix what ails them. Aloha.
5
A 1 1/2 year-old boy is trying to "seduce" a 7-year-old girl? Wow, imposed sexism starts early and starts with parents.
The smug tone prevented me from finishing this. When I started, I already was thinking, "How nice to be able to travel to Hawaii to get away from it all."
The smug tone prevented me from finishing this. When I started, I already was thinking, "How nice to be able to travel to Hawaii to get away from it all."
78
With regards to the luau experience... "Hawaiian men [an assumption of the the author] with painted faces do a grunting spear-dance and stick their tongues out tikistyle." Sounds like they visited the Polynesian Cultural Center and witnessed a Maori dance.
19
My wife and I have been fortunate to have taken in Hawaii twice, once on a structured cruise, and once on our own staying only on the Big Island. All of the islands are beautiful and unique, but having no itinerary and exploring on your own is the right way to go. Definitely go to the top of Mauna Kea and see the stars. Unbelievable!
6
Thank you Wells and the New York Times for publishing this horribly misleading article on Hawaii...hopefully you have diverted other negative would-be Hawaiian tourists so they rest of us can better enjoy what truly is a paradise to our family.
138
Yes, I didn't think of that: an article like this will discourage more tourists like Wells from crowding the islands.
1
Yes, agree! Dreadful place, Hawaii. Full of pleasant people, delicious food, unique wanders, amazing history and rainbow washed vistas. Truly awful. So much better to visit Pence's exciting and glamorous Indiana, and experience the famous Hoosier hospitality. As long as you don't want rainbow cupcakes.
5
What a downer! Absolutely nothing the writer complains about has ever happened to me in Hawaii in numerous hours and days I have spent on three islands. Perhaps that is because I have chosen beauty and geologic wonder to behold.
39
I went to both ahu and The Big Island back in December. The way the writer makes both places feel is exactly how they are. You feel a little detached from the mainland news, and it's good in a way. You can relax. Oahu is very tourist-y. the Big Island is very very laid back, off the beaten path, quiet. The black sand beach is nice, the volcano magnificent, the lava rocks in the first picture near the airport at Kona really impress. The Big island is like another planet...A great trip indeed
11
Oahu**
We felt the same way about Hawaii that the author did. We've been to many places around the world - but always avoided Hawaii, thinking it would be a bunch of big resorts on the beach. HOWEVER, we changed our minds (like the author) when we (like the author) were looking for an escape from "the news." We spent a week on the Big Island and LOVED IT. We were amazed by how "rural" it was and how beautiful. We also got to see the eruption in Kilauea and it was amazing, a once-in-a-lifetime experience (for us). However, as senior citizens, we didn't feel prepared for the 4 mile bike ride to see the lava flow into the sea...maybe next time. Thanks for the great article.
16
When I was 8, my school report on Hawaii made me dream of getting there. Two trips so far (with kids) in my 40s and 50s, didn't deflate the fantasy images I held. Don't just stop at Oahu and BIG Island. Hop an inexpensive flight to Molokai and Kauai. Book accommodations on the go with any of the online sites, meet the people and walk as many of the beautiful trails as possible. Watch how both the professional staff people and residents just don't sweat the small stuff. Jump waist deep into countless quiet ocean coves and see colorful fish everywhere -- right off the dock, no less a dive boat. Get shave ice whenever and where ever you get too warm. Find out from a local what home/restaurant or foodtruck has the best area food.
If you can still stay snarky, it's you, it's not Hawaii.
Oh, and make sure you take home lots of Hawaiian slack key and song downloads -- it will really help you decompress once you get back to real life.
If you can still stay snarky, it's you, it's not Hawaii.
Oh, and make sure you take home lots of Hawaiian slack key and song downloads -- it will really help you decompress once you get back to real life.
8
Born and raised in Honolulu, and now living in DC, I read this piece eagerly for depictions of my youth and an an escape from my current life. While Tower manages to pick up on some of the nuances of Hawaii (oh, I miss the supermarket poke!), I couldn't help but to feel that he was trying a bit too hard to present himself as curmudgeon/hipster/comedian, which overshadowed his insights about Hawaii.
157
You might want to try a hammock in your backyard, very relaxing!
2
Your writing is priceless, sweet as cotton candy, and as inviting as the bulbous lava begging for the stick. Thank You!!
13
Hawai'i first captured our hearts in 1945 when my dad was headed to Guam in preparation for the invasion of Japan. He made subsequent trips while en route to Korea and Viet Nam. As a family we made our first trip in 2004 and we were hooked. We have made yearly trips since then, even after dad passed away in 2011. We don't frequent the usual tourist spots, with the exception of visiting the USS Arizona Memorial and the Punchbowl Cemetery. We will find some place to snorkel then chill out with a couple of beers and people watch. I would recommend the first time visitor read Twain's tale of visiting Hawai'i and "From Here to Eternity" to map out a journey of the islands. Hawai'i is very much a state of mind.
11
We had a great trip to Hawaii in February. A week on "the Big Island." Beautiful and a great escape!
7
Pardise is a state of mind. Relax, breath deeply and enjoy the natural beauty. It also helps to turn off your phone and leave the kids at home.
4
Snarky and ill-informed, but that top photo is incredible.
16
For complete relaxation and beauty visit Hana in Maui.
3
This is one of the funniest and most accurate essays about Hawai'i that I have ever read. Spent six years there as a graduate student and Wells Tower hits the nail on the rusty head.
14
Like Mr. Towers, Hawaii did not tempt my husband. In 1975, as a teenager from the mainland, I spend a summer working and playing on Oahu, living the dream. I knew that my outdoorsman husband--a backpacker, avid student of history (especially WWII), nature and geology, disdainer of spending precious time off sitting on a beach--would love the islands. It took over 35 years for him to relent. Of our December, 2016 trip, it was the nighttime outing to the Visitor's Center in Volcanoes National Park that was absolute highlight of the trip. Kilauea did not disappoint, exploding red molten rock into the blackness, beautifully, sublimely, putting us in our place.
5
My daughter and son-in-law want to move to Hawaii in 2018, and wish my wife and I to retire and move with them. They think it is paradise based on yearly vacations, and I see it as leaving the USA and trying to retire on a fixed income in a pricy spot. Of course being urban New Yorkers my wife and do not crave the surf and turf--if we want water we would open a hydrant.
At least this article is realistic and not a promo.
At least this article is realistic and not a promo.
11
Don't let them do it. It's an awful place to move to. Hideously expensive and they will forever be resented as outsiders. The happiest day of my life was the day I left. I wouldn't go back there if you gave me a million dollars.
4
I thought about retiring there for many years. You must check before making any decisions. It's not that easy.
No place is paradise because as the saying goes, "wherever you go, there you are". Whatever "issues" they have (and we all have them!) will follow them there. The other saying is "home is where the heart is". The best place to be is where you have friends and loved ones (and a good job too).
3
It looks like standards at the Times have really come down. I can't believe you published this overwritten trash. It looks like the writer intentionally set up the worst kind of tourist experience and then out attacked Hawaii itself as if the place was responsible. He got what he deserves. Publishing this garbage is a disservice to Times readers capable of having a much better experience in the islands.
194
Much better then that we read only of the $4000 'budget' 3-day junket to the Galapagos or the $350 tasting meal in Napa, or the best time to visit the Hamptons and pay only $1000/night for accommodations 'only blocks from the throngs of beautiful people?'
Yes, sometimes I, nay we, the readers of the Old Grey Lady, do appreciate reading about places that the rest of us go with our family of four, tacky or beautiful and scenic. And oh by the way - better that the NYTimes directs all of its readers and friends to those same few places that you enjoy and enjoy for their quiet, peacefulness, and because they're not prime destinations? Me thinks not.
Yes, sometimes I, nay we, the readers of the Old Grey Lady, do appreciate reading about places that the rest of us go with our family of four, tacky or beautiful and scenic. And oh by the way - better that the NYTimes directs all of its readers and friends to those same few places that you enjoy and enjoy for their quiet, peacefulness, and because they're not prime destinations? Me thinks not.
5
Indeed, straight from the Paul Theroux School of hating-where-you're-going. So sad.
What a beautiful, cheeky, and accurate description of Hawaii! This was a pleasure to read, and barely a mention of D.C.! Thanks for the temporary refuge!
30
Seeing where the lava has creeped over time; how it has changed the landscape over and over completely devoid of human influence or control certainly puts a few things in perspective.
19
Sadly, you have missed everything that is wonderful about visiting Hawaii. I, too, assumed Hawaii to be a "cultural protectorate of the airport" for many years, but found immediately upon going for the first time that there was almost no truth to my narrow assumptions. Yes, Waikiki is the DMZ of cultural heritage. But judging Hawaii by Waikiki Beach is like judging Los Angeles by Disneyland. If you want to find authenticity in Hawaii, don't start by buying tickets for the ride.
100
Before heading out, I highly recommend reading the fascinating history "Captive Paradise," by James Haley:
https://www.amazon.com/Captive-Paradise-James-L-Haley/dp/1250070392/ref=...
https://www.amazon.com/Captive-Paradise-James-L-Haley/dp/1250070392/ref=...
4
As much as I like being off the beaten path, it is sometimes wonderful to spend time at a very nice hotel in a nice location. This can only be spoiled by the company of someone who thinks they are too cool for all of it. Let the author sleep with dead rats in New Zealand, I would only be too happy to take his place on the shores of Hawaii.
87
With all due respect, New Zealand is still one of the most beautiful, clean and pristine places on this Earth. You should get out of Austin more often.
With all due respect, if you want to experience Hawai'i stay away from the resorts and tourist traps as much as humanly possible. Turn your phone off or into airplane mode (yes you'll be reaching for the camera), get into slow mode and go local. Great people, great places, great food await you if you just explore off the beaten path.
I love the big island it has a bit of everything and is a cultural and natural gem. It's changing faster than I'd like to see, but isn't everywhere? If you like lush green and variable weather the Hilo side is for you. Kona side is usually sunnier but can be Voggie at times, more touristy too. A rental car and sense of adventure and the entire island can open new worlds to you. If your lucky, Pele will provide you with a volcanic experience you won't forget...
Go if you can, at least once in your life.
I love the big island it has a bit of everything and is a cultural and natural gem. It's changing faster than I'd like to see, but isn't everywhere? If you like lush green and variable weather the Hilo side is for you. Kona side is usually sunnier but can be Voggie at times, more touristy too. A rental car and sense of adventure and the entire island can open new worlds to you. If your lucky, Pele will provide you with a volcanic experience you won't forget...
Go if you can, at least once in your life.
124
Agreed.
3
I've lived in Hawaii for over 20 years and can tell you without fear of contradiction that there is no "culture" anywhere on the seven islands. As far as I can tell "aloha" left the islands sometime in the 50's and now has devolved to a myth that we tell the tourists to get them over here so that we can suck every last dime from the wallets. And Hawaiians are some of the angriest people I've ever met - and this from a guy who was born and raised in Cleveland Ohio. And why are they angry? Because to merely exist in Hawaii requires an income that only one near-minimum wage job will not supply. The result is that most "locals" have at least two jobs, one of which usually involves dressing up in "native" costumes to entertain the tourists who they view as the culprits responsible for their skyrocketing cost of living .
If you want a vacation with a rich cultural experience my advice to you is: go to Provence.
If you want a vacation with a rich cultural experience my advice to you is: go to Provence.
4
Coincidentally, I will leave Keauhou on Hawaii this Tuesday, ending a 3-week visit during which I lived with friends and spent most of my time landscaping, doing a variety of house repairs, and playing tennis. What's not to like about that? ... especially since it is a respite from life in that bastion of political and social conservatism, Winchester, VA ... and Hawaii is probably the most "Democrat state" in the "Union."
Mr. Tower was not here long enough to see that there are two cultures on Hawaii, some combination of native Hawaiians and the so-called working class, on the one hand, and we Haoles on the other ... and, truthfully, the interaction between the two groups is, at best, a little less than cordial. There is, of course, a large, mostly Asian subpopulation that bridges those two cultures.
On this trip -- and I've made more than two dozen out here -- I heard, "why would 'they' vote that down? ... don't they know that the more homes and golf courses we have, the more jobs there will be? But, of course, and that's just what "they" need, more jobs serving the needs of us Haoles.
I recall, as a youngster, going to Cherokee, NC and having my photograph taken standing next to a Cherokee native dressed as a chief ... all for the cost of a "tip" of 50 cents. I assume Mr. Tower and his family paid $150 per or more for his luau. See the lava up close? ... fly over the volcano in a helicopter? ... whatever ... everything out here is $200 a crack.