"In a city as diverse as New York" yet the cover photo shows no diversity
6
Lol. 8 women and 3 guys? Not in any place I've gone to in NYC. It's usually 10 guys and 2 girls and one is with her boyfriend.
2
One 40 year old man - who's gay.
More than a third of older Americans are single - and want to date more. How about an article about dating in your 40s, 50s, 60s?
More than a third of older Americans are single - and want to date more. How about an article about dating in your 40s, 50s, 60s?
14
A shallow piece on shallow people. Welcome to 2016.
5
I can understand being from outside an urban area if your desire is to move in order to have a better quality of life.
I refuse to believe I have to move to the other side of town to meet single women. I also refuse to believe that it's all that simple.
Friends of friends are an untapped resource. I would work that first before overhauling your life (and sanity)
I refuse to believe I have to move to the other side of town to meet single women. I also refuse to believe that it's all that simple.
Friends of friends are an untapped resource. I would work that first before overhauling your life (and sanity)
5
... a luxury rental on the waterfront in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, which suits her perfectly. "It’s full of people who are like-minded: creative, well-traveled, educated, curious," ...
It's tough when you're in non-luxury living after-all. Better to have an entire building filled with 30 year olds retiring from finance or parent-subsidized millennials. Certainly not mixed with low-income types, anything pre-war or people who don't like their day job but still have to work it.
It's tough when you're in non-luxury living after-all. Better to have an entire building filled with 30 year olds retiring from finance or parent-subsidized millennials. Certainly not mixed with low-income types, anything pre-war or people who don't like their day job but still have to work it.
9
So "Geographically Desirable" of any NYC sitcom from Seinfeld to Friends to SATC is alive and well. Who Knew!
2
Most of the women featured in this article deserve to be single. Tehy are so shallow and snotty , I hope they stay in NYC.
8
"Equal or better"
Well, that is aspirational goal, but let's examine what that really means.
Would a microbiology researcher with a PhD fit the intellectual bill or does it have to come with a successful (ie high 6+ figure) practice in law or medecine? And that's just looking at selection based on education. Would you be good enough for his own grab bag of criteria? I could follow other angles to fill out the illustration but I think you've taken the point.
The goal doesn't sound very "Modern", nor much different from the traditional prerequisites to the MRS degree, or even centuries old aristocratic striving. Remember that your potential partner may be looking at you in the same way yet with another notion of what "equal" means. That leaves a very slim margin matching criteria, not to mention he has seen that striving before and sees yours from miles away. I'm not even talking about down the road when he gets bored with you and looks at younger women (or vice versa).
Best of luck with your search.
Well, that is aspirational goal, but let's examine what that really means.
Would a microbiology researcher with a PhD fit the intellectual bill or does it have to come with a successful (ie high 6+ figure) practice in law or medecine? And that's just looking at selection based on education. Would you be good enough for his own grab bag of criteria? I could follow other angles to fill out the illustration but I think you've taken the point.
The goal doesn't sound very "Modern", nor much different from the traditional prerequisites to the MRS degree, or even centuries old aristocratic striving. Remember that your potential partner may be looking at you in the same way yet with another notion of what "equal" means. That leaves a very slim margin matching criteria, not to mention he has seen that striving before and sees yours from miles away. I'm not even talking about down the road when he gets bored with you and looks at younger women (or vice versa).
Best of luck with your search.
4
with odds of 3 men to 8 women, this should be titled where to be single and MALE in NY
9
I annoyed at my husband a little while ago, but I must say after reading this article and remembering 15 years of dating in Manhattan, I'm reminded to thank my lucky stars that those days are over.
8
Wow!! With the exception of two black people, one Asian, one Latina, a dark-haired Jewish guy, another guy who might be Indian, and one or two women who look like they could be Middle Eastern, everyone else in this handful of pictures is WHITE!
How DARE you New York Times? This just makes me sick to my stomach. I am cancelling my subscription right now.
How DARE you New York Times? This just makes me sick to my stomach. I am cancelling my subscription right now.
20
"Dating" is understood to be a euphemism, right?
14
I've lived in NYC most of my [well over 55 year] life and have been reading the Times on an almost-daily basis since the mid-1950's. My friends are young and old. I simply don't recognize a single person in this, or any other, article the Times purports to be about New Yorkers. As is more often the case than not, the Times presents us as rich, white, privileged and nothing else. THIS IS NOT ME!
Perhaps I should be reading another newspaper.
Perhaps I should be reading another newspaper.
27
NK you are also not a 20 or 30 something.. its okay, me either.
Not everything is about you or me. but they are most definitely New Yorkers, strivers who come from all over to make it here and not just complain or mooch off the system (and we collect their taxes, so thank you). and subsidize all that affordable housing via market rents.
This is a set of New York, not al of it. get over it.
Not everything is about you or me. but they are most definitely New Yorkers, strivers who come from all over to make it here and not just complain or mooch off the system (and we collect their taxes, so thank you). and subsidize all that affordable housing via market rents.
This is a set of New York, not al of it. get over it.
2
In fairness to the New York Times, you must concede that they recently wrote an extensive piece on the chopped cheese sandwich, which is hardly elitist fare.
8
I immediately noticed that there were 8 women and 3 guys in the photo. This is the reality in the NYC singles scene. I think women are more likely to be successful and ambitious enough to move here--the stats in the article show there are more single women than men in Manhattan. The successful guys have their pick of women and are not single for long. Sorry, ladies, the competition is too stiff.
5
"I immediately noticed that there were 8 women and 3 guys in the photo. This is the reality in the NYC singles scene."
The only places in Seattle where you'll find more women than men are yoga classes and the Wildrose (and I'm not certain about the yoga classes.)
"The successful guys have their pick of women and are not single for long."
Successful guys (i.e. guys who make a lot of money) pretty much always have their pick of women, just as attractive women can be very choosy with men.
The only places in Seattle where you'll find more women than men are yoga classes and the Wildrose (and I'm not certain about the yoga classes.)
"The successful guys have their pick of women and are not single for long."
Successful guys (i.e. guys who make a lot of money) pretty much always have their pick of women, just as attractive women can be very choosy with men.
3
The following is snarky. Something about this article made my skin crawl, and I'm trying to figure out exactly why. I don't think I captured all of it, but I got part of it.
I'm very happy that the demographic described is finally dating again. What a relief. I was worried we wouldn't have enough breeding in the next few years.
Weighing in as a bohemian (if I dare use that term now-a-days) I don't recognize anything in this article. MBAs with ironed straight, dyed blond hair, and/or teeth-too-white living in fabulous luxury waterfront developments built by rapacious developers encouraged by a tiny Bostonian mayor.
Dating? We don't date.
I'm very happy that the demographic described is finally dating again. What a relief. I was worried we wouldn't have enough breeding in the next few years.
Weighing in as a bohemian (if I dare use that term now-a-days) I don't recognize anything in this article. MBAs with ironed straight, dyed blond hair, and/or teeth-too-white living in fabulous luxury waterfront developments built by rapacious developers encouraged by a tiny Bostonian mayor.
Dating? We don't date.
23
I file this under "Where to go when you want to extended adolescence." Not being critical since I've been in that stage, too. Only to say that ain't, overall, where your life is meant to go.
14
This article felt like a spin off of 'Sex and he City'?
Has Brooklyn lost its diversity? Is there no ethnic and economic melange left?
While being single can be a challenge anywhere, the age old question of "how to find your better half", my guess is that it''s not as stressful when you have money.
I appreciated the highest recommended reader comment so far which hinted that the article forgot that there are single people looking to date who are older than 30 somethings.
Has Brooklyn lost its diversity? Is there no ethnic and economic melange left?
While being single can be a challenge anywhere, the age old question of "how to find your better half", my guess is that it''s not as stressful when you have money.
I appreciated the highest recommended reader comment so far which hinted that the article forgot that there are single people looking to date who are older than 30 somethings.
11
So, this guy who moved to the lower east side doesn't want to date anyone in Queens, Brooklyn or the upper Eastside for that matter, he wants to keep it local, making excuses. Well then, you must have never been or desire to be in love. In college back in the late 1970's,
i lived in Riverdale, dated a woman who went to school at Fordham University, who lived in the middle of Queens, fell in love and spent over 3 hours round trip to take her home, often not getting home myself till 2 or 3 A.M. Love is not neat and tidy, being able to schedule your time like some world leader. Suck it up pal.
i lived in Riverdale, dated a woman who went to school at Fordham University, who lived in the middle of Queens, fell in love and spent over 3 hours round trip to take her home, often not getting home myself till 2 or 3 A.M. Love is not neat and tidy, being able to schedule your time like some world leader. Suck it up pal.
27
I'm looking at that photo and thinking "Please stay in Manhattan."
19
There are many single people who are older than 20s, 30s, or 40s in ALL the boros, not just Manhattan, who have exciting interestings, do important work, paid and unpaid. These people are never mentioned or considered in this article. Feh.
21
“It’s full of people who are like-minded: creative, well-traveled, educated, curious...”
Translation: “It’s full of people who are exactly like me, so I never have to leave my confirmation bias bubble...”
Translation: “It’s full of people who are exactly like me, so I never have to leave my confirmation bias bubble...”
59
And we wonder why we're so politically polarized and people can't fathom how anyone could think X or support Y...living in a echo chamber.
3
"Where to Be Single in New York?"
Everywhere.
This is a city of loners, always has been, always will be.
For everyone else, the suburbs calls you, please answer.
Everywhere.
This is a city of loners, always has been, always will be.
For everyone else, the suburbs calls you, please answer.
21
Seeing the title, I thought maybe this would be about finding neighborhoods which do not revolve around couples or families, where single people can feel at home and be able to have the services they need.
Instead, it's just about dating. Do the writers not realize that there are un- partnered people who are content with their singleness and who do not make all their decisions, including housing, based on finding that elusive mate?
Instead, it's just about dating. Do the writers not realize that there are un- partnered people who are content with their singleness and who do not make all their decisions, including housing, based on finding that elusive mate?
49
Hear hear, PM! This is exactly what the article *should* have been about.
5
the horror..the horror
19
Look closely and you'll see that the photograph was obviously staged!
Wouldn't be surprised if a modeling agency and some clothes designers weren't involved as well!
Smiling, smug, pretentious, lily-white, and happy-go-lucky as the other half (and more) will suffer under the newly elected Donald. Perhaps that's what they are celebrating, looking forward to inheriting Daddy's fortune which will be even larger thanks to new tax breaks coming!
Wouldn't be surprised if a modeling agency and some clothes designers weren't involved as well!
Smiling, smug, pretentious, lily-white, and happy-go-lucky as the other half (and more) will suffer under the newly elected Donald. Perhaps that's what they are celebrating, looking forward to inheriting Daddy's fortune which will be even larger thanks to new tax breaks coming!
35
i feel sorry for these young adults and what seems like a lot of pressure, despite the City being a far more safe place to go out than when I was young. It seems that there are so many neighborhoods along with online and app based dating that it is harder to meet someone compared to grungy NY of the mid to late 1970's. Back then, you met someone through work, friends, family, and handful of fairly safe hangouts, a party or even the neighborhood laundromat (although you had to be careful because you didn't want to make it uncomfortable to go to a convenient laundromat if things did not work out.). My advice is to chill out and not be so methodical about finding romance.
16
This article shows evidence of how NYC has gone wrong. It used to be even the rich were interesting. Now NYC has become a city just like all the others in the country with predominantly superficial individuals only interested in money instead of culture. And this includes the art scene. I miss bohemian NYC where you could walk along many individual creative characters everywhere. Remember the term "yuppie"? Probably not because now that kind of lifestyle is the norm that even artists follow.
45
Yes. I'm surely going to Crown Heights to find myself a partner. Oh yes indeed. Seems this writer's take on "single" means 20's and 30's. Not teens? Not middle age? Best thing about the borough's is that the same drink costs five dollars there instead of 12 dollars in Manhattan. I had met someone who lived in Westchester, a 40 minute ride from NYC. Someone in the article mentioned bringing in their circle of friends - well, that did not go well. Seems that on the weekends this date of mine wanted to be in Westchester, shop locally, drive around and stay home all day on Sunday. I say keep shopping for people in your own space, it's honest and what people really want (in my opinion of course)
3
I wish I could be one of the cool kids, the cooool keeeds....
12
Thank you to the NYT for a wonderful article on dating in NYC. It was a pleasure to open up about my experience and I hope some single NYers can find some tips here or have faith that dating isn't all that bad in NYC! It can be a lot of fun and there are so many incredible and interesting people out there! Wishing all the best to everyone on their search for their own Mr. Big.
3
This is exactly the reason I've avoided living in New York at all costs...
--Well-educated, attractive, happily-single young male
--Well-educated, attractive, happily-single young male
3
Thank you Tara!
As a 55yo divorced dad living in beautiful bucolic CT am a bit ashamed to say I can not get a date with the other women in my age range and within a reasonable distance. I am educated, in shape, healthy, open-minded and emotionally and fiscally stable. I want to move to NYC and have a LTR and live my retirement in a vibrant place and then bequeath that tiny studio to my sons... It ain't easy
As a 55yo divorced dad living in beautiful bucolic CT am a bit ashamed to say I can not get a date with the other women in my age range and within a reasonable distance. I am educated, in shape, healthy, open-minded and emotionally and fiscally stable. I want to move to NYC and have a LTR and live my retirement in a vibrant place and then bequeath that tiny studio to my sons... It ain't easy
2
Interesting picture that was chosen. So in a city of 8 million people, all the singles in NYC are white?
33
...so much for getting beyond the color of one;s skin...
2
Natasha the singer didn't look very white to me.
1
I can not imagine that a New Yorker wrote this.
42
Pretentious NY. Grrr
33
I've lived in NYC and now live near NYC and I have the same feeling with these ridiculous NYT "culture" articles.
17
Not all of us in NY are like this. It is a bit sickening but it takes all types. NY has become an image of the rich, blondes, polished hair and suits, all providing the real estate companies lots of $. Kind of looks like the Trumps.
I live and deal with a different NY. Cultured, middle class, blue collar, educated, not so educated, some low middle class. What do they all have in common? They are not plastic, they are real and diverse. That's my NY!
I live and deal with a different NY. Cultured, middle class, blue collar, educated, not so educated, some low middle class. What do they all have in common? They are not plastic, they are real and diverse. That's my NY!
46
DP, you are right. (I grew up in the Bronx.) But, there are a lot of plastic and pretentious people in NYC, especially in Manhattan and hipster neighborhoods in Brooklyn. Unfortunately, I have encountered those people. But, I love the real and authentic people of NYC.
2
Where to be single if you're young, white, have disposable income and discretionary time. And apparently there are no single Lesbians of any age or ethnicity who might like a social life. Nice reporting, Paper of Record!
48
You can't possibly have every demographic outlined. That would take a small book.
7
I am a 147 year old handicapped transgender anarchist performance artist. Why isn't this article about me?
8
You;d be more interesting than the people covered :)
3
From the photos, this article should be titled, "Where to be White and Single"...when will the NYT FINALLY be more inclusive?
34
What "color" are you. Color Me Human !
And rich, you forgot rich.
4
Why are all the people in this picture white? You disappoint me, NYT.
23
Perhaps because so many whites of a certain income and educational level anywhere in USA turn out to be walking moon beams empty of anything solid, diverse, with a bit of honest grunge mixed in. IN other words, inane and so predictable.
2
I lived in NYC for 14 years. IMO, it's is a hard place to be single. People may be interested in you for a while, but they just disappear when someone newer and shinier comes along. Ghosting happens a lot. I think NYC is ideal (especially Manhattan) for men and women who want a problem-free surface type of relationship. When problems arise, the typical young Manhattanite just moves on. Neighborhoods matter only in terms of convenience. And sometimes it's a status thing too. I think that woman who moved to Woodlawn has the right idea. She's more likely to meet decent, down to earth people in the Bronx. Manhattan is filled with a lot of individuals who think very highly of themselves, expect you to listen to their life story/aspirations/goals and don't give much in return.
I realize this happens in other places of the country as well. It's just really concentrated in NYC. I also realize people actually do have real relationships in New York, it's just extra challenging because there are some many things competing for peoples' time and attention - regardless of where they live.
I realize this happens in other places of the country as well. It's just really concentrated in NYC. I also realize people actually do have real relationships in New York, it's just extra challenging because there are some many things competing for peoples' time and attention - regardless of where they live.
50
The wealthy, privileged people in this photo are exactly why I'll never live in Manhattan or Williamsburg. This kind of entitlement really grosses me out.
47
Sorry you feel that way about the article! But I will let you know that I am not wealthy or privileged - I come from very humble beginnings - moved to NYC and worked my tail off and saved for 10 years to be in business school full-time. Williamsburg is full of - as I said in the article - hardworking, creative & passionate, well-traveled, educated, intellectually curious people. I hope you'll reconsider your view on us. :)
8
How silly you are! Even hardworking people with a little financial success and comfort are allowed to try to be happy. Try to realize that all of life is not about being a social justice warrior fighting for today's trendy issue.
3
Wow! Maybe you are too thin-skinned for NYC ! Grossed Out! Really?
1
And not one mention of gay women.... Your focus is on young, straight, white heterosexuals with a token mention about a gay male dentist. Really?
15
The grievance on display in this comments section is unfathomable! Over a picture of patrons at a rooftop bar. When did the social justice movement in America become so bitter, sneering, and entitled?
26
No, quite fathomable! Five pix, and only shows persons of color. And only token mention of one gay man at the end, and no mention of gay women. News flash: NYC has a higher percentage of people of color, and of GLBT people, than most other cities, and much more than most suburbs/rural areas. NYT is lazy and just not doing their job here....
8
Thank you, Michael!
4
A few years before they helped Hillary lose the election.
6
Wow. According to the NY Times, the only people whose dating lives are worth writing about are white people in their 20s and early 30s (ok, 40's if you count the dentist profiled). Get with the times, Times! New York is far more diverse in age and ethnicity than this writer is willing to acknowledge. Write about the New York that we actually live in, include the dating experiences of people of ALL ages, ethnicities and gender identities, and you'll have an article that is more respectful of its readers, and more accurate. Much more interesting, too, I'll bet.
52
By looking at your photos, it appears as though 97% of NYC daters are white, but the Census states the city is about 44% whit, 25% Black, and 28% Hispanic. I am wondering what percent of New Yorkers are blonde; Your photos MIGHT be over representing that too.
49
Yes, white people in NY are disproportionately Italian, Greek, other nationalities that less likely to be blonde...
13
I think all the blondes in that photo are bleached
2
Yeah, those folks in the luxury rentals, they're the greatest! Suitable, for instance, to hang with those whose mom buys them a house.
47
Hi Bill - I can assure you that it took a lot of handwork and saving for 10 years to live where I live. I came from very humble beginnings - everything I have in my life has come from the hard work I have put in. I see you are from Wisconsin, I was just there in Madison for the Nebraska / Badger game... Wisconsin has a very special place in my heart as my mum is from there! Tara
2
These are Trustafarians. Their parents subsidize their rent...absolutely insufferable.
1
"mum"? Or you're British?
Informative article. Any one have answers for one like me, who resides in South Brooklyn, female, and is 60 yrs of age? Talk about finding dating extra difficult!
24
People in New York actually make expensive real estate decisions to buy and sell their properties so they can find better places to party?
Wow!
Wow!
39
@ Paul: No that's not the case. NYTimes and its articles cater to the 1%. or say the 10%. Notice it's less of a journo piece and more a of a Real Estate article. (and rightly under Real Estate section)
17
not all of us. this article is insanely elitist and naval gazing.
40
The Brooklyn photo certainly makes me want to move to NYC, but then I remembered I'm
A- in my mid 40"s
B- not THAT cool
C- have a great career right where I live and that's pretty important
So farewell absurdly attractive random single new Yorkers it was fun while it lasted.
A- in my mid 40"s
B- not THAT cool
C- have a great career right where I live and that's pretty important
So farewell absurdly attractive random single new Yorkers it was fun while it lasted.
26
I have single friends so I was hoping that there would be some insights I could pass on to them. This actually makes me sad for them. Finding someone is hard enough without having this added restriction of not dating someone from another borough. Take a chance! Date that person who lives an hour away. You might be pleasantly surprised!
11
For several years, I went out with someone who lives deep in Staten Island; I experienced the law of diminishing returns firsthand.
That said, I wholeheartedly agree with the commenters who suggest you not limit your dating pool to only "A-listers"; no matter where you are, you need to take chances if you want to be truly happy.
That said, I wholeheartedly agree with the commenters who suggest you not limit your dating pool to only "A-listers"; no matter where you are, you need to take chances if you want to be truly happy.
6
Perhaps, for a change, one day you will cater to those of us who are over 55 years of age with articles about where we can go to meet dating potentials other than an assistant living facility. Sometimes I get the feeling that the NY Times thinks we only read the obituary page.
92
Yes, that is why i posted a comment about where people 60 and up go to find a suitable date and perhaps a partner? Maybe a blog/ site should be started.
We are vibrant people too, and diverse.
We are vibrant people too, and diverse.
18
Correct you are, DP. It seems all lifestyle related columns and articles in the Times caters to a narrow demographic, as if they are the only ones who can get out and enjoy life. But I do not expect anything to change since it seems like the editors embrace what they consider to be the young, hip readers. What the editors don't realize, the young and hip, if they do read any news, is getting their news from social media. In the meantime, us subscribers bypass a lot of the Style and Arts sections due to its irrelevancy. Memo to Editors: we over 55 have money and health to get out there too. How about throwing us a bone now and then?
16
I think there are some sites and apps, but many people that age still are using their 1990's flip phone.
3
This article should be called "where to be single and rich in New York."
67
and white!
10
and white.
8
Or, "Where to be Single, Rich & White" in NY
2
Does the NY Times realize that this article only has one person of color in all these photos? Surely this isn't what New York looks like. Intentional or not, this reinforces the perception of the Times as white, elitist, and out of touch.
62
Wrong, see photo number 3.
5
Not true. Look again. It is your perception because that's what you and the readers who agree with you want to believe. Calm down.
2
Wow! ALL the folks in your photo are white and most are blonde. Geez, my NYC is a VERY diverse place. NYT! Time to get sensitive to your surroundings. You definitely need to get out more ( as evidenced by your knob- headed crowning of HRC as one example).
29
My born and bred manhattanite daughter would NEVER be comfortable with THAT lot. And she is single in NYC. Why don't you find more of a cross section?
32