That happened to me many years ago, way before cellphones, on Lexington Ave near Bloomingdales. A skinny little kid, younger than 13, came out of nowhere and groped under my skirt while looking up and grinning at me. In a flash, he disappeared in the crowd as I stood there in shock. Am not violent, but I would have loved to beat him senseless.
12
i got rid of my cellphone. by the time you have it out and get focused, the opportunity to have more harm come to you [never mind figuring out where to send the shots that may have come out to help you] is magnified.
i walk with a cane. perhaps you should, too. the opportunity to help yourself is immediate. you might also stop at your local precinct and ask them to show you how to use it as a baton.
i walk with a cane. perhaps you should, too. the opportunity to help yourself is immediate. you might also stop at your local precinct and ask them to show you how to use it as a baton.
6
yeah, yeah, I get it, the author is attempting to assuage her own feelings about this incident with a little humor, but this isn't actually a funny story. Ms. Wadler, a 13 year old boy was able to make you feel violated and you essentially could do nothing about it, and won't be able to do anything about it the next time it occurs. Let's let that sink in for a minute.
Do you really think whipping out your cell phone faster the next time is going to help? What are you going to do with his picture? He'd consider it a badge of honor if it was ever posted to the internet. Maybe prosecution? particularly of a juvenile? Now that really is a humorous thought.
I agree with the previous poster who suggested a stick to beat their faces in next time. And take up self defense--not one of those "self defense for women" classes that are basically pablum to make people feel better about themselves. But a method that actually teaches you how to wound and injure people. This is the only deterrent. Not your cell phone. Do a little more research if you dont believe me.
Do you really think whipping out your cell phone faster the next time is going to help? What are you going to do with his picture? He'd consider it a badge of honor if it was ever posted to the internet. Maybe prosecution? particularly of a juvenile? Now that really is a humorous thought.
I agree with the previous poster who suggested a stick to beat their faces in next time. And take up self defense--not one of those "self defense for women" classes that are basically pablum to make people feel better about themselves. But a method that actually teaches you how to wound and injure people. This is the only deterrent. Not your cell phone. Do a little more research if you dont believe me.
15
This is the most gratifying and capturing piece I've read lately! You know your audience! I related to everything you said. Although the dangling creep would have, instead, been begging John McClane, he would have met the same fate. Too, my daughter, just last week, had to show me the same camera feature & procedure as I "missed my shot"! Just THANK YOU - in more ways than one.
6
Haha. Try giving a good punch upside the head. I would never have had time to take a snap.
5
How about very simply teaching every girl by the time she leaves fifth grade basic self-defense and making girls and women not easy targets as we have been forever and continue to be. There would definitely be "a think twice" change in predators attitudes, do you agree?
14
Why not teach boys this is not acceptable?
25
why not do both?
16
The BEST information I've gotten this week! Thank you!
4
I found it! I found the little camera icon! Thank you thank you!
13
It feels like this is a very sensitive issue. In Vietnam where I live, things are quite different. In populated areas there aren't many people who are bold enough to commit such deeds. however it is not recommended to take out your phone in the public in any occasion whatsoever due to the risk of getting pick-pocketed. In some occasions, street children ask for the time and when innocent tourists take out their phone to check the time, they snatch the phone straight out of the tourist's hands only to sell it to second and shops. On the other hand, if by any chance one does get the opportunity to take a picture of the person who violated him/her it is not uncommon for that person to come back to take care of the picture before one can post the image on social media. Although it is good to take matters into your own hands, sometimes it better to leave it in the hands of the police for safety.
5
Joyce,
Don't stop with posting their pictures, which will probably only enhance their street rep; do the one thing that might really ruin their day - email the picture to the police; file a criminal complaint and vigorously prosecute the little creeps. if enough women do this and the NYT publicizes their crimes, rather than lamenting over the mass prosecution of misguided juveniles, they might think twice before assaulting women for thrills. Nothing like a night in jail with some real criminals for company to make one ponder the error of their ways
Don't stop with posting their pictures, which will probably only enhance their street rep; do the one thing that might really ruin their day - email the picture to the police; file a criminal complaint and vigorously prosecute the little creeps. if enough women do this and the NYT publicizes their crimes, rather than lamenting over the mass prosecution of misguided juveniles, they might think twice before assaulting women for thrills. Nothing like a night in jail with some real criminals for company to make one ponder the error of their ways
18
I have yet to meet the policeman who would care.
7
NYPD are already laughing at this suggestion, tho I agree with you in theory.
7
Always use a "selfie stick".
Then you can beat them about the head with it.
Then you can beat them about the head with it.
29
Best line I've read in a long time! " America is a country of quick-draw artists, with apps instead of guns." LOVE IT!
4
Ironically and unfortunately the author references the movie High Plains Drifter where her romanticized hero, Clint Eastwood, actually rapes a woman, in a semi-secluded, semi-public barn, with a bystander watching, in perverse pleasure. Justice for the rape is out of sight, and woman deemed hysterical. The author of the column should have at least watched the movie before placing a rapist into a hero role. Such lack of attention to detail makes this column into a moral no man's land.
9
Gee, thanks for mansplaining the Clint Eastwood reference. Now I feel so much better informed about what goes on in the mind of someone who has just been groped.
12
Indeed
1
Part of the reason for some passers-by's seemingly "quick draw" is that they were already walking phone in hand! :-)
4
Please think thru the consequences before you start snapping away. Creeps generally don't like to have evidence collected against them when they've just committed a crime, which is what you would be doing, and they know it. They may well come back and try to take your phone. And not politely. Please be careful, and mindful of the consequences.
3
She's a grown woman; she can decide if it's safe enough to take a picture.
I really would encourage victims of crime to take pictures if they feel they can do so safely.
I was groped as a teenager by a man who later went on to murder two young women (oh, he raped them too). Bonus points! This was back in the day when responsible parents largely didn't permit teens to have cell phones; I didn't have one, but so wish I had to help the police identify the offender. It can be worth it to report an offense, even if it's 'only' a misdemeanor.
I really would encourage victims of crime to take pictures if they feel they can do so safely.
I was groped as a teenager by a man who later went on to murder two young women (oh, he raped them too). Bonus points! This was back in the day when responsible parents largely didn't permit teens to have cell phones; I didn't have one, but so wish I had to help the police identify the offender. It can be worth it to report an offense, even if it's 'only' a misdemeanor.
16
Joyce - so horrible this happened to you. If it helps even a teeny bit think of this: there is a very good chance those creeps will try it again, since they will feel comfortable after they got away with it. And even though the next person might not get a picture then there's - sadly - likely to be another chance after that. Or someone watching might take a picture.
6
Difficult to respond intelligently to what happened to you, because the first feeling is pure anger that these thugs got away with this, which makes them more brazen, and willing to do anything, no matter the hurt and despair inflicted.
Are there no cameras on the High Line?
If there are, then you need to contact the security service company in charge, before the disk(s) record over.
If there are no cameras, then perhaps you need to contact your local police department, and your local council-person, to get cameras installed every 50 yards, with instant access permitted by all police precincts, high resolution video.
This stuff is used everywhere these days, and relatively inexpensive, and I'll bet there are several NYC corporations, and businesses, who would love to have their name on an adoption sign under each camera, willing to pay the initial cost, and maintenance thereafter.
Stay safe, and be alert, always.
Are there no cameras on the High Line?
If there are, then you need to contact the security service company in charge, before the disk(s) record over.
If there are no cameras, then perhaps you need to contact your local police department, and your local council-person, to get cameras installed every 50 yards, with instant access permitted by all police precincts, high resolution video.
This stuff is used everywhere these days, and relatively inexpensive, and I'll bet there are several NYC corporations, and businesses, who would love to have their name on an adoption sign under each camera, willing to pay the initial cost, and maintenance thereafter.
Stay safe, and be alert, always.
40
There are live web cams on the Highline. You can stand at certain places and watch yourself on your phone...why you would, I have no idea, but there you go.
5
On my Samsung Galaxy S6, I have the camera icon on the lower left and the phone icon on the lower right but I still have to swipe and click on the icon to bring up my camera. I can't just click on the icon from the lock screen.
3
If this were someplace other than NYC, you might well have been able to get a concealed carry permit and do more than take a picture of the creep who assaulted you.
The problem with bringing up your smart phone camera with a sweat finger is the reason why nobody would want to depend on a so-called smart gun for self protection since it would probably not work when you needed it. If "smart guns" are so good, why are our Dear Leader's Secret Service goons not using them?
The problem with bringing up your smart phone camera with a sweat finger is the reason why nobody would want to depend on a so-called smart gun for self protection since it would probably not work when you needed it. If "smart guns" are so good, why are our Dear Leader's Secret Service goons not using them?
2
Three teenage boys, maybe ages 13 or 14, certainly need strong correction for this shameful misconduct, but perhaps you may want to consider other punishments than shooting them. If you shoot all three of them, and if you are any kind of shot, at least one will be dead.
As for the brave men and women who protect our current President, you do realize that all Presidents, past and future, regardless of party affiliation, need these Secret Service heroes to save their lives from the various criminals who want to shoot them dead. Perhaps you may want to think of another term for them than "goons."
New York City does have concealed carry permits, but they are not given out like popcorn to any fool who feels the need to carry a gun to shoot obnoxious half-grown boys.
As for the brave men and women who protect our current President, you do realize that all Presidents, past and future, regardless of party affiliation, need these Secret Service heroes to save their lives from the various criminals who want to shoot them dead. Perhaps you may want to think of another term for them than "goons."
New York City does have concealed carry permits, but they are not given out like popcorn to any fool who feels the need to carry a gun to shoot obnoxious half-grown boys.
48
Are you serious with this?
You aren't aware that there are many correctional methods with varying degrees of severity between "take his picture" and "shoot him with a previously hidden gun."
Taking his picture is incredibly stupid advice, for anyone who hasn't been living in a sheltered little bubble their whole lives. I can already see it becoming a trend to get your picture posted on the internet for doing this--the "obnoxious boys," as you choose to call them, will turn it into a game for points.
You aren't aware that there are many correctional methods with varying degrees of severity between "take his picture" and "shoot him with a previously hidden gun."
Taking his picture is incredibly stupid advice, for anyone who hasn't been living in a sheltered little bubble their whole lives. I can already see it becoming a trend to get your picture posted on the internet for doing this--the "obnoxious boys," as you choose to call them, will turn it into a game for points.
3
Sorry this happened...but I have never seen a need to lock a phone. Why?
I have nothing "secret," no pass codes, I don't even know how to "find my phone."
So glad I do not live in NYC any more...
I have nothing "secret," no pass codes, I don't even know how to "find my phone."
So glad I do not live in NYC any more...
3
You lock a phone so that you don't constantly butt dial people... And yes, you can butt dial with a an iPhone. My brother-in-law butt dials everyone, all the time. I've never heard anything remotely worth listening to, unfortunately.
8
Lock your phone so it won't be useful to someone who steals it.
6
My patients have my phone number and text me as needed. For HIPAA reasons, I have to keep it locked.
5
Sort of related, perhaps phones should be programmed to automatically take a selfie and email it to your account whenever someone screws up the passcode more than twice, so you have a picture of the presumed thief...
24
4
This a old idea,in case you don't know
http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/want-know-who-is-trying-unlock-phone-catch-...
http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/want-know-who-is-trying-unlock-phone-catch-...
1
Similar story: Found six non-resident teens swimming in our pool. Already chased four out a month ago. By the time I returned from my unit with a wireless extension, they were skedaddling over fences. I spoke with police dispatch as I pursued but lost signal when out-of-range from my base station. Running to the front, I found two of their bikes locked to a tree, and was going to remain but the police rolled to our property's back. When I returned the bikes were gone. A neighbor PI told me I should have deflated the tires.
9
Ewwww, Joyce! I'm no faster at the phone than you are (or were) and have to go look at it right now. What a bummer.
8
You are new to me, and I am now a fan, but I do feel conflicted about laughing and nodding my head (my reading glasses have also revealed many of my phone's features I had not noticed, and my teenagers are my live-in help desk) at a piece with such an offensive incident as its origin. I guess I'm most attracted to the shared realization that my imagined "ninja persona" is likely not going to emerge at the moment I need it, and I am reminded to be immensely grateful that an opportunity for such theatrics has not presented itself . . . and I sincerely hope you never need it again, even though I know you are ready now.
7
(Not the other Kat who posted from Much(?))
I'm sorry this happened to you, Joyce. Something similar happened to me decades ago, and I still get angry and feel violated if I happen to think about it.
I'm going to practice using my phone camera, thanks to this article. Photos and video are so useful, and it never occurred to me to become fast on the draw.
p.s. You can do better than Clint Eastwood of any age.
I'm sorry this happened to you, Joyce. Something similar happened to me decades ago, and I still get angry and feel violated if I happen to think about it.
I'm going to practice using my phone camera, thanks to this article. Photos and video are so useful, and it never occurred to me to become fast on the draw.
p.s. You can do better than Clint Eastwood of any age.
10
Even for the tech-savvy, the phone standalone is a very poor tool, creates at least as much risk as it mitigates. For starters, the phone keeps one hand tied. Add to that, it forces the defender's attention to a very narrow line of view, while blocking all others and also her peripheral vision. If the aggressors are spread 360, the phone actually makes their job easier. Finally, because it's so public in-your-face, it increases the danger of provoking aggressive action from perpetrators, who otherwise might have slunk away.
The point being, Ms. Wadler needs to wake-up and stop the self-deprecating humor. At least in this case, it's fully undeserved. What she needs to do instead, is to launch into making female-friendly body cams that are both cheap and easy to disguise, plus fashion-savvy to boot.
Phones would still be needed but tucked-away, always ready to act, firing instructions over bluetooth to the bodycam, tweeting, instagraming, and optionally calling police, all continuously, silently. All one has to do is whisper help to Siri who'll know instantly who it is, or even nudge the phone in a unique pre-programmed way.
There will be growing problems of course, especially if Siri learns to ignore, which she will eventually.
At any rate, one of you can turn these fears into a fashion-savvy idea, make millions, be a hero (heroine?) to countless women. But until then, this is good advice for many...especially for those without guns.
Have a nice day.
The point being, Ms. Wadler needs to wake-up and stop the self-deprecating humor. At least in this case, it's fully undeserved. What she needs to do instead, is to launch into making female-friendly body cams that are both cheap and easy to disguise, plus fashion-savvy to boot.
Phones would still be needed but tucked-away, always ready to act, firing instructions over bluetooth to the bodycam, tweeting, instagraming, and optionally calling police, all continuously, silently. All one has to do is whisper help to Siri who'll know instantly who it is, or even nudge the phone in a unique pre-programmed way.
There will be growing problems of course, especially if Siri learns to ignore, which she will eventually.
At any rate, one of you can turn these fears into a fashion-savvy idea, make millions, be a hero (heroine?) to countless women. But until then, this is good advice for many...especially for those without guns.
Have a nice day.
5
is there a place where such photos can be posted online to out these guys?
13
Quick solution: DIY web-page, with time-date-address-crime attached. In time, it will get views.
2
http://www.ihollaback.org/
This website has been around for awhile, and I believe it is broken down by city.
This website has been around for awhile, and I believe it is broken down by city.
2
Sorry to hear about your terrible experience, but thank you for the public service of informing me and other hated-by-tech people about the phone icon. I never noticed it before either. Now I too am armed for battle!
27
And, of course, if you encounter poor-rude service, you can pull your smartphone out and start recording.
You'd be amazed, how nice most people get, when they know they're being recorded.
You'd be amazed, how nice most people get, when they know they're being recorded.
3
Baffling why this incident would be the inspiration for a creepy humor piece.
3
Because it's useful information and sharing the outrage helps. So does dancing on the head of reality.
17
wow. snarky! I found it interesting and useful not creepy at all and also not baffling. The creeps were in the story not the writer.
10
Everyone deals with trauma in different ways. I applaud this authors ability to use humor as a way to cope with a terribly traumatic event .
11
Thanks, Caity! Never knew that; got any more tips?
5
On some Androids, you can quickly shake the phone to bring up the camera immediately. It's a great feature.
12
those are to motorolas that do that shake to open the camera.
on google nexus phones, just press the power button twice and it instantly launches the phone in one second flat.
on google nexus phones, just press the power button twice and it instantly launches the phone in one second flat.
1
So sorry you were the victim of this creep Joyce. It is still worth filing a police report and giving a description. Someone needs to stop this early or it is likely to escalate to something much worse.
31
Could also post photos, with date-time-address tagged on. Or to local social-media site.
Because in public, there is no expectation of privacy. So, no threat of litigation by the little creeps, posting the photos.
Because in public, there is no expectation of privacy. So, no threat of litigation by the little creeps, posting the photos.
1
iOS 10 acts a little differently and faster. From the locked screen swipe right. Voila! There is the camera
2