Whoa = quite a revelation at the end. it is unfortunate you cannot speak to them to fill in the blanks but it sounds like you had a fantastic mentor when you were 18 and that is all that matters.
4
What about your father's father, the despised(?) "butcher?" Did he die knowing how ashamed his son was of him? He apparently passed on some very beneficial genes, fulfilling his true biological role. That is pretty much all that can be said of my own father, but his genes have made me able to seek and benefit from surrogates as needed.
3
What a good piece!!
Thank you.
And, Happy Father's Day!
Thank you.
And, Happy Father's Day!
8
I am a mother. I was also a "father"...my 36-yr old daughter and 40 yr-old son remember me on both holidays. Their father, while recognized as a genetic contributor, did not know how to parent...and was buried in his 6-packs, poker games and faux life-style maintenance. I can see my children through the eyes of two parents.
This column, while well written, is not unique in our society. We have in the past, and sadly, to a degree still, expect our "men" to be stoic -- don't cry, don't show weakness, be a MAN. And in this culture, the humans within that gender are crippled with expectations that don't allow for their full emotional expression. Would that those shackles could be thrown away and allow the full range of human emotion to be expected from all of us. To those who were denied emotional expression from their fathers, look deeper to how these men shaped you...and what demons they might have had to conquer in order to survive. They are people too, with strengths and weaknesses, as are we all. And whether invited or not, shaped who you (we) are today, along with our own choices about which paths to take.
This column, while well written, is not unique in our society. We have in the past, and sadly, to a degree still, expect our "men" to be stoic -- don't cry, don't show weakness, be a MAN. And in this culture, the humans within that gender are crippled with expectations that don't allow for their full emotional expression. Would that those shackles could be thrown away and allow the full range of human emotion to be expected from all of us. To those who were denied emotional expression from their fathers, look deeper to how these men shaped you...and what demons they might have had to conquer in order to survive. They are people too, with strengths and weaknesses, as are we all. And whether invited or not, shaped who you (we) are today, along with our own choices about which paths to take.
9
A nice story, that ends so well. I know why the editorial staff at The Times would deem this a worthy of publication.
However, I am like so many that have had an experience of the mixed-emotional variety, in which things worked out the way they worked out and maybe not with a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, or a marketing plan that gets every inner-city and suburban kid craving the next, newest 300 pair of sneakers, that my father and most other fathers probably couldn't afford. But my dad would have bought them for me anyway so I wouldn't feel secondary. Only years later did I realize that feeling of worth and value could never be been generated from the outside in, but must emanate from the inside out. The ideals I learned from my father were family, love, loyalty but fairness and forgiveness.
It was nice that Mr. Knight found a smart, powerful man as surrogate. It certainly is fortunate that he was a fast runner, or he may not have had one at all. If he couldn't run, would Mr. Bowerman have kept him on the team?
The New York Times is becoming as hard to stomach as Nike.
However, I am like so many that have had an experience of the mixed-emotional variety, in which things worked out the way they worked out and maybe not with a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, or a marketing plan that gets every inner-city and suburban kid craving the next, newest 300 pair of sneakers, that my father and most other fathers probably couldn't afford. But my dad would have bought them for me anyway so I wouldn't feel secondary. Only years later did I realize that feeling of worth and value could never be been generated from the outside in, but must emanate from the inside out. The ideals I learned from my father were family, love, loyalty but fairness and forgiveness.
It was nice that Mr. Knight found a smart, powerful man as surrogate. It certainly is fortunate that he was a fast runner, or he may not have had one at all. If he couldn't run, would Mr. Bowerman have kept him on the team?
The New York Times is becoming as hard to stomach as Nike.
14
Not sure of your age, but in the 80s Nike shoes were completely reasonably priced. 15 bucks 25 bucks max and they came in white canvas or white leather with the blue swish. More to the point, Nike didnt create the inner city craze for sneakers that happened in the 90s and onward. You seem to want to blame Nike for making shoes that people wanted. I am not a fan of corporations but it was 100% teenage consumers who made the Nike craze happen. Distortion field.
10
I don't see unconditional love in this story of Mr. Knight's fill-in father.
Instead, it's the tired old trope of the gruff coach with the heart of gold. The problem with this story line is these father-figure coaches are selective about who they choose as surrogate sons. You don't get on their radar if you are not a jock.
This story would have more universal meaning if, instead of being an athlete, Mr. Knight had been a diffident and bookish humanities major. Had Coach taken him under his wing, it would have been an example of unconditional love, since Mr. Knight wouldn't have advanced the Coach's professional interests in any way.
At a time when the bonds that hold our families and society together seem to be fraying, a happy-ending story about two overachieving multimillionaires is hardly inspirational.
Instead, it's the tired old trope of the gruff coach with the heart of gold. The problem with this story line is these father-figure coaches are selective about who they choose as surrogate sons. You don't get on their radar if you are not a jock.
This story would have more universal meaning if, instead of being an athlete, Mr. Knight had been a diffident and bookish humanities major. Had Coach taken him under his wing, it would have been an example of unconditional love, since Mr. Knight wouldn't have advanced the Coach's professional interests in any way.
At a time when the bonds that hold our families and society together seem to be fraying, a happy-ending story about two overachieving multimillionaires is hardly inspirational.
26
Thanks. Phil, thanks.
1
What's in a brand? Phil Knight knows a lot about one in particular. And of within, there are too-many versions to count. Indeed, some are utilitarian and work well in most any moment, while others show up only on special occasions or are seldom seen. At the least, all do one thing for which they were intended: make it possible for you to get somewhere but, otherwise on your own. Some come at a high cost or don't deliver; others succumb to wear-and-tear too easily. A perfect fit? Worth keeping? Not always, and where often a lot is expected of them. Hold on to those who do and expect the need for repairs, now and then. None last forever. It's that way with fathers . . .
1
I tend to think about the fathers working for $1/day making nike shoes in beyond the swosh on youtube..
where is their fathersday
where is their fathersday
24
I had hoped last year's Angel Soft Father's Day would put an end to this nonsense. Last year, Angel Soft celebrated women who were fathers.
But I can see by this essay, that the nonsense continues.
Every year, on Mother's Day, we read about mothers. Just mothers.
Every year, on Father's Day, we ready about....
Women who are fathers, men who play the secondary role of fathers, grandfathers who must step up to the plate, uncles who are fathers to their nephews, fathers who are missing, fathers who are in jail, surrogate fathers, gay fathers, priests who became fathers. Yes, those have all been stories in the recent past, while mothers day is still about... just mothers.
And now we have "the Fill-in Father" -- an essay whose first paragraph begins with the death of the father and the death of the son. Oh, what joy.
Hey, how about, next year, you continue this tradition of devaluing father hood by "qualifying it" and write about fathers from another planet, or fatherhood in other species.
God forbid you write about... about... about... JUST FATHERS!
But I can see by this essay, that the nonsense continues.
Every year, on Mother's Day, we read about mothers. Just mothers.
Every year, on Father's Day, we ready about....
Women who are fathers, men who play the secondary role of fathers, grandfathers who must step up to the plate, uncles who are fathers to their nephews, fathers who are missing, fathers who are in jail, surrogate fathers, gay fathers, priests who became fathers. Yes, those have all been stories in the recent past, while mothers day is still about... just mothers.
And now we have "the Fill-in Father" -- an essay whose first paragraph begins with the death of the father and the death of the son. Oh, what joy.
Hey, how about, next year, you continue this tradition of devaluing father hood by "qualifying it" and write about fathers from another planet, or fatherhood in other species.
God forbid you write about... about... about... JUST FATHERS!
9
That is such a beautiful piece of writing. It’s comforting to hear other challenging father-son stories. Especially those that turn out more than okay in the end.
I can only recall about 5 brief interactions with my own father in the first 15 years of my life, then there were none after my parents divorced and he moved out. He died four years later in 1980 from what happens to too many men who lose control of their alcohol consumption and also own a gun.
It’s also good to know, since I was not aware, that it’s as many as one in three American children that experience the void of a fatherless life. When the problem is that big, it’s helpful to have a reason to look outward more.
I can only recall about 5 brief interactions with my own father in the first 15 years of my life, then there were none after my parents divorced and he moved out. He died four years later in 1980 from what happens to too many men who lose control of their alcohol consumption and also own a gun.
It’s also good to know, since I was not aware, that it’s as many as one in three American children that experience the void of a fatherless life. When the problem is that big, it’s helpful to have a reason to look outward more.
17
Beautifully written, a tribute to fathers and sons everywhere!!!
10
Clearly, Father's Day takes a back seat to Mother's Day. (Is there such a thing as Father's Day brunch? I hope not.) While moms and dads share some responsibilities, there are differences. Our mother woke us, feed us, and nurtured us. Our father emphasized the importance of work.
As we mature, those of us fortunate to have had loving fathers realize we have been given one of life's great gifts. Over the years my dad fixed every bicycle in our neighborhood. He never made a big deal about it, but when we moved him we found stacks of thank you notes.
Happy Father's Day to all those wonderful dads!
As we mature, those of us fortunate to have had loving fathers realize we have been given one of life's great gifts. Over the years my dad fixed every bicycle in our neighborhood. He never made a big deal about it, but when we moved him we found stacks of thank you notes.
Happy Father's Day to all those wonderful dads!
18
Both holidays are over hyped, and commercialized to the hilt.
They probably cause as much pain as delight, for all of the sons/ daughters and mothers/fathers whose relationships were sour, or fraught with dissonance never overcome.
This account is touching; and it is remarkable for a man to have two paternal figures who cared. A loving father is a gift to sons and daughters; loving gestures from a father who is not loving at all times can still sustain s sense of value.
They probably cause as much pain as delight, for all of the sons/ daughters and mothers/fathers whose relationships were sour, or fraught with dissonance never overcome.
This account is touching; and it is remarkable for a man to have two paternal figures who cared. A loving father is a gift to sons and daughters; loving gestures from a father who is not loving at all times can still sustain s sense of value.
5
My father was an engineer. He designed a warning device that would alert a school bus that a train was coming. He also designed the guidance system for the Space Shuttle. But he was also an alcoholic. My mother was a happy person who died too young. I think of her every day. My father was the drunk at the end of the bar. His sadness was that his father was very ill, and he and his brothers had to care for their father. One night he fell asleep and his father passed away. My father was James White and he carried the burden of his father's death to the end of his life. I will be thinking of him today. Rest in peace.
17
My father died when I was a young boy and I was very lucky to have a surrogate father who lived across the street. My Uncle Joe. A man of great character who lived what he believed. When I was about five he sat down with my mother and expressed his concern that she would be too soft on me. He expressly asked her permission to have the freedom to (as I always say) kick my ass when I needed it. He undoubtedly phrased this differently. A gentle but strong man: I was so lucky to have him. RIP Uncle Joe. And happy Father's Day.
27
Nike? Yuck. Phil Knight is Steve Jobs in waffle soles. Nobody really needs to dwell long on that brand of self-aggrandizing hucksterism, do they?
9
"He believed in runners"? "Constitutional inability to quit"? Is Mr. Knight capable of writing anything but Nike ad copy? Any insight or heartwarming buzz this corporate promotion might have offered is ruined by the author's humblebragging self-regard.
10
While my "Poppa Was a Rolling Stone" his father and my mother's oldest and youngest brother were my surrogate fathers. They were my positive role model teachers. But my sperm donor dad taught me what kind of man and father I did not want to be. I think about my late grandfather and late two uncles on Father's Day. And I revel in being a father and grandfather. But I am as indifferent to my living biological father as he was to me.
24
A beautiful story with a marvelous twist at the end.
You are blessed Mr Knight, blessed to have had two great fathers.
You are blessed Mr Knight, blessed to have had two great fathers.
12
As young men, we all step (or fall) into fatherhood, totally unprepared for the job. We bring with us only what we have experienced as sons, children of our fathers, if we were lucky enough to have had one. As our children grow, so do we. They grow in body and spirit as we do in experience. Some of us are, or become, capable of expression of our love, while others, unfortunately, are not or just cannot do so. But as sons we were, fathers we will be. Hopefully, for the sake of our children, we are able to express the true feelings we hoped our fathers would have shared with us.
11
Go Ducks!
An elegant piece that teaches that we are not, at final tally, sole agents of our fortunes. We may want to believe that we are, but forces beyond ourselves shape and guide us. In a world gone haywire around masculinity and purity, this essay confirms that patience, diligence, commitment, reticence have their place and should be supremely valued over self and ideology.
An elegant piece that teaches that we are not, at final tally, sole agents of our fortunes. We may want to believe that we are, but forces beyond ourselves shape and guide us. In a world gone haywire around masculinity and purity, this essay confirms that patience, diligence, commitment, reticence have their place and should be supremely valued over self and ideology.
3
Where is the part about you father being a wealthy newspaper publisher whose money and connections fueled your success? Too bad those things didn't come with a "good job kid."
11
I've had such a long life full of dissatisfaction with my parents, especially my father. My horror stories intruded on me, gradually softening. Thankfully, I can remember moments that remind me that I loved him, as well as hated him. He knew many wise sayings that have come back to me profitably. Perhaps not his wisest was the story of the teenager with the incredibly stupid father who finds, when he is in his twenties, that his father has learned a lot.
7
Statistically speaking, how many of our actions or decisions actually merit "unconditional approval"?
1
Awesome piece...thank you
13
Mr. Knight, your piece begins with a ritualistic trashing of your father and concludes with a paean to your success.
My father was present. He was humble. He was a man who put others, and certainly his family, ahead of himself. He worked in a tedious, road-wearying sales job that forced him to be away from his cherished wife and home just enough to be grating for him. He served his country, sustaining a lifetime injury in WWII; and he returned to be the go-to layman in each church we knew, over 50 years and across two states. He left no estate, and my dear Mom drew her support from the kindness of her grateful children. Her dementia, no question about it, grew more assertive as her mind pined for her friend and lover after my Dad succumbed to cancer, never having seen the Red Sox win a World Series.
I am grateful for that model. I will never have the billions that you have. And while I am truly grateful for the Nike shoes you created with your surrogate father, I am more grateful for the life my father created for me. It was one of humility, of seeing the blessings found in serving others, and of gratitude. My Dad was, without question, the man who modeled the dedication to my family that has been sorely tested through economic hardship, cancer, and a host of villains thrust in my path.
I hope you have a son who will so recognize you. That is our greatest reward.
We need to hear about more fathers like my Dad. Not just the flawed fathers. Which one are you?
My father was present. He was humble. He was a man who put others, and certainly his family, ahead of himself. He worked in a tedious, road-wearying sales job that forced him to be away from his cherished wife and home just enough to be grating for him. He served his country, sustaining a lifetime injury in WWII; and he returned to be the go-to layman in each church we knew, over 50 years and across two states. He left no estate, and my dear Mom drew her support from the kindness of her grateful children. Her dementia, no question about it, grew more assertive as her mind pined for her friend and lover after my Dad succumbed to cancer, never having seen the Red Sox win a World Series.
I am grateful for that model. I will never have the billions that you have. And while I am truly grateful for the Nike shoes you created with your surrogate father, I am more grateful for the life my father created for me. It was one of humility, of seeing the blessings found in serving others, and of gratitude. My Dad was, without question, the man who modeled the dedication to my family that has been sorely tested through economic hardship, cancer, and a host of villains thrust in my path.
I hope you have a son who will so recognize you. That is our greatest reward.
We need to hear about more fathers like my Dad. Not just the flawed fathers. Which one are you?
59
I subsequently learned of the tragic death of your son and want you to know that my question was not an insinuation but a question to all of us. I am no saint. I do wish we could hear more positive stories about fathers.
11
@Stuart: Actually, it would be nicer to hear about more fathers like your dad in a context that did not feel the need to question someone else's tribute to his dad. It's not a competition.
13
But he didn't have one, so he couldn't write about that, could he? I think that a story about finding peace from a place of wishing your dad had been more loving is a lovely story. I had the sane a found it comforting. I get what you're saying though, and encourage you to write a piece about your dad.
2
"Hooded gunmen"...like it was a neighborhood breakin? It was Radical Islam terror in 1972. Can't say the word now...and apparently whitewashing it from the past.
13
Actually the P.L.O. was not then, and is not now, an Islamist organization. In fact much of the top leadership in ISIL are Baathist's officers from Saddam Hussein's army which was secular and not Islamist. The world and especially the middle east is much more complex than can be explained by slogans or labels. Perhaps you read up a little bit before commenting.
14
Radical Islam terror? Not at all. The group that staged the attack was called Black September, a secular, nationalist group. As far as religious identification goes many in the group were Palestinian Christians.
24
It was 1972. They were Palestinian terrorists. Whole different subject there. And of course you can say "Radical Islam terror" if you want, you can say it 'til the cows come home. If you want to flatter the bloody jihadists who insist they represent all of Islam by giving them a title they crave, one that makes them sound like they're leaders of an entire religion (even though the vast majority of those practicing that religion are repulsed by what they do, as we Christians are repulsed by the actions of Dylan Roof and his ilk) then go ahead. No one will stop you.
22
If I've learned anything in 60 years, it is don't place too much stock in surrogates.
My father, too, was stingy with praise, set too high standards, gave unwelcome advice on every subject.
When my mother remarried, I chose her husband as my surrogate father. He was erudite on all subjects: football, Shakespeare, politics, opera, and seemingly everything else.
As we grew older, I also realized that he was miserly with money and feelings, treated my mother badly, and was self-absorbed.
And I was eventually realized that my real dad, to my dismay, was proven right on almost every subject in which he loudly pontificated. Oh, if only he were here today so I could tell him: you know, you were right.
My father, too, was stingy with praise, set too high standards, gave unwelcome advice on every subject.
When my mother remarried, I chose her husband as my surrogate father. He was erudite on all subjects: football, Shakespeare, politics, opera, and seemingly everything else.
As we grew older, I also realized that he was miserly with money and feelings, treated my mother badly, and was self-absorbed.
And I was eventually realized that my real dad, to my dismay, was proven right on almost every subject in which he loudly pontificated. Oh, if only he were here today so I could tell him: you know, you were right.
40
Thanks for your reminiscences Mr. Knight. And from an Oregon alumnus and Beaverton resident, thanks for what you have done for our school, our state and our city. I get a sense you are a pretty good dad too.
6
"Tommie Smith and John Carlos"
I have a question for Mr. Knight, who is perhaps the greatest living track expert, about the amazingly record-setting U.S. track team of the 1968 Olympics, such as Smith and Carlos in the 200m. It now seems highly relevant, what with the Russian track team being disqualified from the 2016 Olympics for a history of performance-enhancing drugs:
Just how juiced were the American runners in 1968?
I'd always assumed it was simply the thin atmosphere that led to all those world records set by American in 1968, such as John Carlos's 19.92 at South Lake Tahoe during the U.S. Olympic Trials and Tommie Smith's 19.83 at Mexico City in the Olympics.
But I recently discovered that the U.S. Olympic track team doctor, the late H. Kay Dooley, was an outspoken advocate of steroids.
In 1965 Dooley had conducted an experiment of giving steroids to high school football players. They worked.
I have a question for Mr. Knight, who is perhaps the greatest living track expert, about the amazingly record-setting U.S. track team of the 1968 Olympics, such as Smith and Carlos in the 200m. It now seems highly relevant, what with the Russian track team being disqualified from the 2016 Olympics for a history of performance-enhancing drugs:
Just how juiced were the American runners in 1968?
I'd always assumed it was simply the thin atmosphere that led to all those world records set by American in 1968, such as John Carlos's 19.92 at South Lake Tahoe during the U.S. Olympic Trials and Tommie Smith's 19.83 at Mexico City in the Olympics.
But I recently discovered that the U.S. Olympic track team doctor, the late H. Kay Dooley, was an outspoken advocate of steroids.
In 1965 Dooley had conducted an experiment of giving steroids to high school football players. They worked.
10
I am glad Mr. Knight has a happy father's day story. But, really, this is Phil Knight and for some of us all his stories elicit the same response. Go Ducks!!!
5
Everyone who didn't go west was not a coward. Lots of people stayed in place and made contributions to this country. People who died going west were not weak. Maybe they got sick or hurt and in the days before good sanitation and medical care and wonder drugs they didn't make it. I am not impressed by a saying that has no compassion.
50
There were great risks in trekking as immigrants to the Oregon Territory. Ironically, for a shoe designer such as Bowerman, walking was one of them. Eighteen hundred miles of it, with only the old and the infirm riding in the wagons. Referring to those who stayed in the East (or earlier, in Europe) as "cowards" is harsh. Perhaps, "prudent" would make some feel validated. From my perspective, Oregon was worth the walk.
6
It doesn't say that only cowards stayed behind. It says that only brave people went.
This is the most elementary sort of logic.
"If A [took the trail], then B [brave]" does not in any way mean, "If not A [if didn't take the trail] then not B [not brave]." For the logic impaired, compare the saying, "if it has chocolate in it, it must be good." That does not imply that dishes without chocolate can never be good. Only that some of them can be bad.
This is the most elementary sort of logic.
"If A [took the trail], then B [brave]" does not in any way mean, "If not A [if didn't take the trail] then not B [not brave]." For the logic impaired, compare the saying, "if it has chocolate in it, it must be good." That does not imply that dishes without chocolate can never be good. Only that some of them can be bad.
13
I'm with Lynn here. A child needs a fathers love, not his judgment about who deserves to be loved and who doesn't. A good father knows this.
8
My father, too, had an impossible time praising his children. He may brag about them in company of other dads but could never say "I love you" or "I am proud of you" or "You have done well" to my face. And hence, I too, went looking for surrogates. Unfortunately, I never built a bond so strong and enduring and productive. Mr Knight, you have been a very lucky lad.
25
The last sentence, the little moan of "Oh..." -- my breath caught, my eyes grew wet. You're a wonderful writer.
27
We are contradictions, Phil, and you invite us into yours openly, intriguingly. A good hand upon your life, and the long healing of inherited shame, enable this gift of yourself to the world. Thank you.
I would have let my attention rest on your story awhile and moved on, but I kept thinking of this puzzling, rupturing phrase: "a tightfisted nature." So I read it all again. "My father, though kind and good..." How many can say that? "Nor did he ever bestow his unconditional approval." How many do?
Who is this father who loves you hiddenly, speaking of you, to you, sixty years after the fact? He's in character in that furtive, distant appearance. But here he is not: Phil, this shame-wracked butcher's son loved you enough to ask another man to carry the baton he himself had bungled. For once, for you, his humble love conquered his shame and fear.
"And regardless of biology or circumstance, many of us, maybe most of us, simply need more than the one dad allotted to us by a tightfisted nature." Your story teaches me that all but the last four words of that sentence are true. You have been abundantly loved. Is nature tightfisted? Your story has shown me myself and everyone I know: we simply need more than nature has to give.
I would have let my attention rest on your story awhile and moved on, but I kept thinking of this puzzling, rupturing phrase: "a tightfisted nature." So I read it all again. "My father, though kind and good..." How many can say that? "Nor did he ever bestow his unconditional approval." How many do?
Who is this father who loves you hiddenly, speaking of you, to you, sixty years after the fact? He's in character in that furtive, distant appearance. But here he is not: Phil, this shame-wracked butcher's son loved you enough to ask another man to carry the baton he himself had bungled. For once, for you, his humble love conquered his shame and fear.
"And regardless of biology or circumstance, many of us, maybe most of us, simply need more than the one dad allotted to us by a tightfisted nature." Your story teaches me that all but the last four words of that sentence are true. You have been abundantly loved. Is nature tightfisted? Your story has shown me myself and everyone I know: we simply need more than nature has to give.
32
Gary, I am not sure the writer -- who is trying not to speak ill of the dead -- would totally agree with your version of his father.
Nice stuff. I was lucky enough to help out the Bowerman's for a summer during college the same year Without Limits was being filmed. I would ride my bike out to his house to help him with his prized cows. Then for lunch Barbara would have me sit out back of their house looking down at the river. It was amazing to suddenly realize that the famous Pre Sport Illustrated photo was taken off the back of their back porch.
14