See this movie on as big a screen as possible so you can appreciate and evaluate the special effects for yourself. Mr. Proyas has proven he knows how to make movies, and I think some shots looked fantastic. But it won’t be any better on a smaller screen. If you can get past the hysterical white wash, the typical Hollywood appropriation of history, the lame script and the ponderous music, you might get a laugh the same way your parents (or maybe you) did when Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton were Egyptians. It’s the same ol’ movie…
Um, Elizabeth Taylor played CLEOPATRA in 1962's spectacular....but though Cleopatra was the Queen of Egypt, she was a Ptolemy and hence, Greek and therefore, European in ancestry. Richard Burton played Mark Antony, who was a Roman and hence, European.
1
Delightfully lengthy way to say "it's so bad, it's good." Fun review!
1
Great review, and I'm with you 100%.
Yes, it's pretty terrible, but I prefer innocent schlock like "Egypt," '80s Cannon (e.g., "Masters of the Universe") and vintage Harryhausen to decadent Marvel schlock.
Its greatest sin was running 20-30 minutes too long.
Yes, it's pretty terrible, but I prefer innocent schlock like "Egypt," '80s Cannon (e.g., "Masters of the Universe") and vintage Harryhausen to decadent Marvel schlock.
Its greatest sin was running 20-30 minutes too long.
2
Haven't seen the movie and from this review I don't know if I should.
The review starts out expressing that the movie should not have been made and calls it a demented entertainment an embarrassment of kitsch and then later on in the review the reviewer states he liked it and states it has moments of beauty.
I have never seen a review where the review presents such strong reasons not to see the film and then gives reasons he liked it.
Should I go to see the movie or go see a different one or maybe just stay home and read a book.
The review starts out expressing that the movie should not have been made and calls it a demented entertainment an embarrassment of kitsch and then later on in the review the reviewer states he liked it and states it has moments of beauty.
I have never seen a review where the review presents such strong reasons not to see the film and then gives reasons he liked it.
Should I go to see the movie or go see a different one or maybe just stay home and read a book.
4
A little more attention could have been given to the casting, which is worse than just 'dubiously Eurocentric.'
Did you notice, Ms. Dargis, that while nearly all the towering gods are played by white actors, the cowering masses are played by brown actors?
Did you notice, Ms. Dargis, that while nearly all the towering gods are played by white actors, the cowering masses are played by brown actors?
6
John, didn't you know we have photographs to prove the Egyptian gods really were white? I mean *white*. Using European actors in the movie is the best the producers could do.
3
Agreed. This is a borderline screwball classic. They just didn't commit to pure cornball throughout. Lots of delicious eye candy. Far more interesting and entertaining then most big budget bombs of similar ilk.Numerous God awful monsters, numerous god awful silly love stories, lots of dumb dialogue and dumbish action. Entertaining throughout for wrong reasons and good reasons.
3
Extraordinary review! I don't believe I have ever laughed out loud while reading any movie review (and I try to read them all in the NYT), and I know I have never read one out loud to my family. Thank you!
1
This is why I love Manohla: "...more honest than an art-film exploitation item like “The Revenant.” "
So perfectly on point!
So perfectly on point!
5
But is it better than 'Jupiter Ascending' (which, I should add, I liked)?
1
Best review of yours I've read, Ms. Dargis! Kudos on "...a smoky monster that from one angle looks like a fanged doughnut and from another an alarmingly enraged anus...." Inspired!
7
It seems the same, again and again:
When Americans (US only) touch classics, be it Homer, Walhalla, Caesar, China, or Egypt, the outcome is a sad mish-mash of US-"Messiah"-wishes as they appeared in Super-, Spider-, whateverman (and for politically correctness: -woman) - with enormous body-buider-packs, small brains, and a lot of humanity to be "saved" by them. Alas - they always do the opposite: Dumb-down an already dumb public, and do gross harm to real facts and knowledge about the respective Gods, heroes, and humankind alike.
It's the kind of things that has, unfortunately, guided more Presidents than just Reagan (and I called it "thing" - not 'think'), and one that explains quite a bit of recent US foreign policies - which might have come from the same scriptwriters as those films.
The USA need a full-scale re-doing of their Education, their Entertainment, their Media, their Radio-, TV, and Film productions, and a totally new set of politicians. One Bernie alone can't repair the damage.
When Americans (US only) touch classics, be it Homer, Walhalla, Caesar, China, or Egypt, the outcome is a sad mish-mash of US-"Messiah"-wishes as they appeared in Super-, Spider-, whateverman (and for politically correctness: -woman) - with enormous body-buider-packs, small brains, and a lot of humanity to be "saved" by them. Alas - they always do the opposite: Dumb-down an already dumb public, and do gross harm to real facts and knowledge about the respective Gods, heroes, and humankind alike.
It's the kind of things that has, unfortunately, guided more Presidents than just Reagan (and I called it "thing" - not 'think'), and one that explains quite a bit of recent US foreign policies - which might have come from the same scriptwriters as those films.
The USA need a full-scale re-doing of their Education, their Entertainment, their Media, their Radio-, TV, and Film productions, and a totally new set of politicians. One Bernie alone can't repair the damage.
9
Where are you from? Rhetorical question. Hollywood pumps out movies like this for one reason and one reason only - to make money. They pour over numbers, history, international markets, etc. etc. and make a purely financial decision to Green Light.
Your critique of this movie would be like critiquing a McDonalds hamburger with the same rational.
Your critique of this movie would be like critiquing a McDonalds hamburger with the same rational.
3
J.: I would have understood you quicker with "pore" instead of dripping blood ("pour").
@Jo Boost: If you read books, you can do infinitely better than every similar movie with a book called "The Incomplete Enchanter" (or variant titles in later editions) by L. Sprague de Camp and Fletcher Pratt.
Gerard Butler starred with Emily Mortimer in a nice film called Dear Frankie - I loved him at first sight and still do.
I don't see anything wrong with him taking less than ideal rolls as at some point, you gotta pay the bills.