Thank you for the personal suggestion; as soon as the latest snow has melted completely, I will follow your instructions and report on the resulting sleep-study results, care of the Judge. I really was wondering about how to spend the rest of the weekend.
6
Judge John Hodgman should run for President!
This whole series is hilarious!
This whole series is hilarious!
4
It is fine if you do not prefer to let your pets sleep in your bed...or if you believe that people who do are involved with "imitation infants." Simply stated, you should advise the young woman that she should negotiate with her boyfriend concerning the status of the puppy in the bed. As you well know, many people allow their dogs to sleep in their bed, or at least, spend time on the human bed during the day. I have not read of any epidemic of disease, illness, or maladies associated with filth among the thousands of people who allow their dogs this privilege. Therefore, I think the implicit assumption of your last sentence/suggestion is faulty and without merit. PS...I sometimes sleep with my Bernese Mountain dog, but he usually prefers his own snazzy accommodations.
3
"but sleeping with dogs is . . . gross. I suggest you spend an afternoon rolling around at a dog run and then tramp home barefoot through the city streets, do not shower, go to bed in the nude and see how well you sleep then." it would be good if you made sense. sleeping with a dog who's been engaged in all those activities is not equivalent to engaging in them yourself and then going to sleep. tat makes no sense as a comparison,
3
You're right, but it's as close as it comes to engage in them yourself. Be my guest. Sleep with a dog whose done all of these things. Just don't do it in a hotel room where someone sane might next sleep.
1
I have been both ways, but the older I get and the less I sleep, the more I do not want dirt on my sheets. Maybe city dogs stay neat and tidy, but my dog runs through the woods and mud puddles; he digs holes; he catches little critters. No way is he permitted on my bed!
4
Not all city dogs "spend an afternoon rolling around at a dog run and then tramp home barefoot through the city streets." Hodgman wasn't the right person to reply to Emma's quandary. Emma, if you're reading this, i suggest that you adopt a second dog. The two pups will keep each other company and snuggle in their own bed nicely. Also, acquire some Pawz for each furry baby. You won't need to visit a dog park anymore because your puppy will have a permanent playmate.
1
To avoid the grossness, do not allow doggie under the covers or to put her head on the same pillow you use. That's how we solve the problem of sleeping in doggie dirt. A worse problem would be the crying and whining that goes on for hours if she is not allowed in the bed. BTW, she was a rescue when she was 3 and had already formed sleeping habits.
2
Another, probably preferable, way to solve the problem is to have goldfish whose poop is confineable.
2
An ex-girlfriend once asked me why I let my cats sleep in the bed. I told her because "they" live here. She never asked again.
6
A good friend of mine lost her life partner not long ago. Understandably lonely and depressed, she trained her poodle to sleep with her. This took a while, as he had been carefully trained NOT to come up on the bed. Being able to have a warm body to cuddle on lonely nights has been my friend's salvation.
And BTW, I don't even like dogs and will never have one, so my observation is not colored by "doggy love" feelings. It's just crystal clear to me that my friend is a happier, more optimistic person for having her canine companion with her on cold, dark nights.
And BTW, I don't even like dogs and will never have one, so my observation is not colored by "doggy love" feelings. It's just crystal clear to me that my friend is a happier, more optimistic person for having her canine companion with her on cold, dark nights.
18
A snoring dog is life's greatest white-noise machine. Brush your dog, wipe their paws if necessary and let them snuggle in next to you. It's better than Ambien.
26
I'm one of those people who bought a special set of steps for my dogs when they got too old to hop up on the bed. I lie down with dogs but not only do I not wake up with fleas -- I almost never get sick. I adhere to the dog-kissing theory of immunity. Just as I believe kids should play in dirt, I think people should sleep with their dogs. They're not like cats, by the way. They don't want to be on top of your head. They prefer to stretch out at the foot of the bed, where they can guard the cave.
27
My pets have never slept with me. However, neither dog complained as they sleep either in their always open crate or in front of the fireplace the living room floor where they are undisturbed. Both the crate and the fireplace location have LL Bean orthopedic dog beds (the fireplace one is a couch type). And when they were puppies (one was adopted at eight months; the other at a year), there was another animal sleeping in the same room (either cat or dog) so they were not alone.
The cats had a small LL Bean orthopedic dog bed on the open box shaped portion on top of their scratching post/cat tree. No one could bother them and the view out the window and through the room was impressive.
My mattress, although perfectly fine for me, would not be as comfy as what they have. And I don't have to share the space with a non-human mammal which I like.
Plus when I travel the dog does not sleep in my bed which makes the lodging staff very happy. She gets bathed and brushed before I go away and there have been times that part of the dog fee was waived because she wasn't shedding noticeably (and even though she is a short-haired Lurcher, she does shed), she did no damage to the place, and it was obvious that she was never on the furniture. Lots easier to bring her along on trips.
So the advice may be correct, but I think that it did not have to be served as snarky as it was. With the right bedding environment and materials, there are advantages for the dog too. Everyone wins!
The cats had a small LL Bean orthopedic dog bed on the open box shaped portion on top of their scratching post/cat tree. No one could bother them and the view out the window and through the room was impressive.
My mattress, although perfectly fine for me, would not be as comfy as what they have. And I don't have to share the space with a non-human mammal which I like.
Plus when I travel the dog does not sleep in my bed which makes the lodging staff very happy. She gets bathed and brushed before I go away and there have been times that part of the dog fee was waived because she wasn't shedding noticeably (and even though she is a short-haired Lurcher, she does shed), she did no damage to the place, and it was obvious that she was never on the furniture. Lots easier to bring her along on trips.
So the advice may be correct, but I think that it did not have to be served as snarky as it was. With the right bedding environment and materials, there are advantages for the dog too. Everyone wins!
7
Thank you, Mr. Bean.
6
Your response was absolutely spot on.
6
We sleep in bed with two pugs. They snore, they smell, they shed, and their paws are dirty.
Couldn't sleep without them.
Couldn't sleep without them.
23
Plus, they fart.
1
I say kick the boyfriend out if he is so unable to enjoy true love. Dogs and bables and cats all in the bed, lets go!
15
I'm with the Judge. Change your sheets and get the puppy a nice bed. Shouldn't the puppy be in a crate?
8
Thank you John. The only reason this will never happen to me is that the dog won't be in my house to begin with. I have recently found myself single again, after the half century mark, and dogs are tied with cigarettes for the status of top dating dealbreakers. I have never been a dog person and it is way too late in my life to start. I have had cats but even they did not get to sleep with me.
10
How in the world do you keep your cats from your bed? I thought the cats decided where they sleep. at least they do in our house.
3
Dogs, no; cats, yes.
And when the dog suddenly develops a fear of thunder (as well as snow sliding off the roof, which she must perceive as the same thing) and uses that as an excuse to break the rule, get right up (never mine it is 3:00 a.m.) and order one of those snug dog wraps. They work like a charm. She returns to her crate.
And when the dog suddenly develops a fear of thunder (as well as snow sliding off the roof, which she must perceive as the same thing) and uses that as an excuse to break the rule, get right up (never mine it is 3:00 a.m.) and order one of those snug dog wraps. They work like a charm. She returns to her crate.
2
I love dogs and cats but having them in the bed is a disruption to good nights sleep.
8
I agree. No dogs in bed...with me.
6
Judge Hodgman, I wish you had responded sooner. In the time since the question was asked my resolve crumbled and I allowed the dog to sleep in the bed with us.
Surprisingly she actually isn't overly disruptive and can be very cozy. Now we just need to convince the cat to sleep somewhere else.
Surprisingly she actually isn't overly disruptive and can be very cozy. Now we just need to convince the cat to sleep somewhere else.
31
Yes, you will be crucified. But you are absolutely on target.
17
Haha... Great response! I'm on the side of the boyfriend, too. Not least of all because his argument is based on facts, not beliefs. She "believes" that the dog is a welcome presence. But his sleep is actually being disrupted. Sorry, but facts trump feelings. If you can't sleep well, it will affect everything else in your life, including your feelings. She should not be surprised if this disagreement cools their relations overall and maybe even leads to a break-up. And if somehow they don't break up but get married one day, and want kids, she should also think long and hard about bringing an actual infant in bed with them. Those can be quite disruptive of sleep as well, and cause even deeper rifts in a relationship.
24
There are more than a few women who insisted on 'co-sleeping', not just with an infant, but with older children too, who seem shocked when their marriages fail, as they were quite certain that their husbands thought this was a wonderful idea too.
16