Oh, yes, a mental health day (sick in bed to be not sick in head) is a beautiful thing.
1
This article has absolutely nothing to offer. It is written poorly, there isn't one single original observation. If I want to hear about nothing, I'll watch Seinfeld, who will at least make me laugh.
2
I have always liked to just stare blankly out the window from time to time. Since childhood this has been restful and productive, but it seems to make the talkers of our world nervous. I live with a talker and a TV watcher, and it seems that sitting and staring in silence is nerve-wracking, for him. Interesting the different ways people have of soothing themselves.
1
I take a day off from "regular" life every week. It's called the Sabbath.
2
If you're a caregiver-at-home to a disabled loved one, no breaks for you! And forget about having your loved ones bring you things. Yes, you can bring a home health aide in, but that coverage is only supposed to be for your loved one and not you, and on top of that, you have to supervise the aide, whether you're feeling up to it or not.
1
I couldn't take a partially-sick day as the writer recommends, though I always carve out time for myself. But my memories of the sick days I have taken are of that moment when I wake up--usually mid-after noon, the house bathed in a pleasant light and I realize that I am no longer miserably sick. I do enjoy these hours, as I try to eat a little, maybe read something, but mostly marvel at the human body....
It's a nice idea and I agree with the idea of not spreading germs to co-workers - that was at least part of the reason I recently and unusually took a day off when I felt bad but could well have gone in - but I also work on a small team and on many days, if I'm off that means somebody else works harder. So if I really want days off to muse I take vacation. That way, when you get really sick, people aren't tired out from your not-so-sick days and will help without resentment.
If you are not really sick and want to spend time in bed relaxing and recuperating, take a vacation day! Otherwise Ms Heti, what you describe and justify is dishonest.
There are numerous people with illness, chronic or otherwise, who struggle to work, often in pain and discomfort and many will eventually lose their jobs due to real illness and the inabaility to work or function.
Sick in bed means being sick in bed.
There are numerous people with illness, chronic or otherwise, who struggle to work, often in pain and discomfort and many will eventually lose their jobs due to real illness and the inabaility to work or function.
Sick in bed means being sick in bed.
1
Take some quiet time if you like.
But walk your poor dog. He didn't sign on for this.
But walk your poor dog. He didn't sign on for this.
15
The dog was fine—he played in the yard. No animals were harmed in the creation of this article...
1
So it's wonderful to stay home and take a sick day when you are not sick. Not so great for the people on your project team who are doing their work and your work while you sit at home and look for a life changing epiphany.
5
One reason European culture is different is that they ran the Puritans/Calvinists out of town. Guess where the wound up?
So our cultures diverged dramatically.
So our cultures diverged dramatically.
16
When I started work in my career in 1975 many business and corporations allowed the accumulation of sick days. My employer at the time allowed 180 days. Most had been working long periods of time for the same employer. Most saved these days for surgeries that may be needed or a prolonged illness. Now we are supposed to declare bankruptcy for lack of sick day coverage and all the deductibles and co-pays that used to be covered by insurance policies.
We used to openly talk about taking a sick day stating I needed a mental health day. We all did that from time to time. It was needed and much like your spending time at home sick in bed. It is a different world now. All the money we pay to cover insurance costs and no longer being able to accumulate sick days, where has all this money and benefits gone? To the upper echelon of the already too moneyed in America. We are all losers for this brave new world of exploitation and being bullied about by employers and government. Just the time when we need more sick time in bed and more vacation days I find they have been stripped bare as a bone and good for the flu or a slight back strain. Near useless for a serious injury or illness. Good luck to all the misbegotten of what was formerly known as the middle class. I look about and can't find it any where.
We used to openly talk about taking a sick day stating I needed a mental health day. We all did that from time to time. It was needed and much like your spending time at home sick in bed. It is a different world now. All the money we pay to cover insurance costs and no longer being able to accumulate sick days, where has all this money and benefits gone? To the upper echelon of the already too moneyed in America. We are all losers for this brave new world of exploitation and being bullied about by employers and government. Just the time when we need more sick time in bed and more vacation days I find they have been stripped bare as a bone and good for the flu or a slight back strain. Near useless for a serious injury or illness. Good luck to all the misbegotten of what was formerly known as the middle class. I look about and can't find it any where.
22
Sunday used to be considered a day of rest. A good idea, no?
8
I can really relate. Especially about all our activity coming to naught. Being busy is largely about keeping ourselves distracted....and then you die.
Thanks for the reminder.
Thanks for the reminder.
6
I get my best ideas in the liminal period between asleep and awake. Yesterday I wrote a brief script in my head that I will use with my after school program drama club kids. If I'd popped up out of bed instead of lazing around, I would have been thinking that I need more dental floss.
7
jzzy55, I long for those dear good old days when the period between asleep and awake was all mine. You're absolutely right that it can provide the clearest new thought on things of importance that otherwise would be overlooked.
1
Our culture of working all the time needs to change. We are all paying the price for the relentless pace of life with little paid vacation time and scarce paid sick time. If we all enjoyed more of a balance between our work lives and home lives, we might not feel such a desperate need for a break from it all in the form of a sick day.
11
I'm all for taking days to retreat from the world. To me, that is what weekends and vacations are for. I would very much like our country to offer as much time off as in most European nations, starting with parental leave. But we have created this system and appear too miserly to change it.
If you are truly sick, keep your germs at home. If you need a mental retreat, plan your weekends and vacations to do nothing. Forget the parties from time-to-time and retreat.
If you are truly sick, keep your germs at home. If you need a mental retreat, plan your weekends and vacations to do nothing. Forget the parties from time-to-time and retreat.
11
Why parental leave? My co-worker took "parental leave" to have a baby, while the rest of us took up the slack. I thought our boss was going to have a stroke for 3 months before, as well as during the leave itself.
There are only 4 people in our office. The rest of us suffered.
I needed a month off after her return.
There are only 4 people in our office. The rest of us suffered.
I needed a month off after her return.
5
Doesn't anyone else think this article is completely nihilistic? Didn't some monks used to sleep in their coffins?
1
This article is arguing for the opposite of nihilism.
6
What this writer describes as "sick in bed", for time to do thinking, to write a novella, to read, to not doing anything, is what anyone would have called "retirement" or "unemployed". That's when you would truly have too much time on your hand.
Yes, Americans in general work much more than Europeans or Canadians or Australians, but they are nowhere near where developing countries like India or China are like. This is a globalized marketplace. For many decades we've been chanting workers' rights in those countries, it's coming to reality by having Americans blue-collared (and now increasingly white-collared) jobs offshored to those lower cost countries. And now, Americans are not simply competing with peers locally for jobs but with those in China and India and Eastern Europe who are willing to work for pittance just to keep their jobs. Is there any wonder why wages stagnate in US?
Is there time to be "sick" (but not too sick)? So, to answer the writer's question, on why we can't just play sick, for a change, the real question for most Americans is, can you afford to lose your job today, and retire or be unemployed. If the answer is no, then no, you can't be taking sick days to read books at home, or do retrospection if you're gay or straight, or write a novella, or go shopping (maybe online, in case you're seen not be in bed).
Yes, Americans in general work much more than Europeans or Canadians or Australians, but they are nowhere near where developing countries like India or China are like. This is a globalized marketplace. For many decades we've been chanting workers' rights in those countries, it's coming to reality by having Americans blue-collared (and now increasingly white-collared) jobs offshored to those lower cost countries. And now, Americans are not simply competing with peers locally for jobs but with those in China and India and Eastern Europe who are willing to work for pittance just to keep their jobs. Is there any wonder why wages stagnate in US?
Is there time to be "sick" (but not too sick)? So, to answer the writer's question, on why we can't just play sick, for a change, the real question for most Americans is, can you afford to lose your job today, and retire or be unemployed. If the answer is no, then no, you can't be taking sick days to read books at home, or do retrospection if you're gay or straight, or write a novella, or go shopping (maybe online, in case you're seen not be in bed).
4
Everyone needs a mental health day as I call them. You wake up, don't feel great or maybe you do. You've been kicking a** at work or maybe you are cruising. Its a sunny warm day, or not.
You have some "me" time coming.
Be unproductive, get bothersome stuff done.
Take lots of breaks and just think.
Go to bed early.
You will have a better day tomorrow. It lasts.
You have some "me" time coming.
Be unproductive, get bothersome stuff done.
Take lots of breaks and just think.
Go to bed early.
You will have a better day tomorrow. It lasts.
5
Do you think there might be something wrong with how we live when we look forward to being sick, when a wave of happiness sweeps over us because we are suffering from some malady that allows us finally to stop for a day?
33
This is going to sound awful, but I loved the Christmas that I spent in my isolation room at the hospital when I was undergoing a bone marrow transplant. No obligatory travel, no family drama, no exhausting shopping or cooking, no round the clock socializing with relatives. Just me, my beloved, a beautiful fake Christmas tree and peace and quiet. Bald, vomiting, but enjoying the peace and quiet.
13
Last year, a leak required us to have our entire kitchen floor ripped up and the joists replaced beginning the week before Christmas.
No tree, cooking, or hosting. I was so relieved. My friends were jealous.
And hats off to you for finding a positive spot in the midst of your very real suffering! I hope this Christmas found you fully recovered.
No tree, cooking, or hosting. I was so relieved. My friends were jealous.
And hats off to you for finding a positive spot in the midst of your very real suffering! I hope this Christmas found you fully recovered.
1
I know. I caught a cold from my boyfriend. He has been sleeping in our other bedroom but when when you share a place it is almost pointless. I caught th e same thing over the weekend. I have had 3 days off already but decided to stay home today. I am not dying but it is freezing and I don't feel like suffering through my walk to work to feel worse. I have more sick time than vacation or personal so I am taking it.
1
"Why is it so hard to stop doing, to just rest? Can we value our unproductivity — not in terms of how productive it will make us later on, and not even for how it will help us with our life choices or novella-writing but simply for its own sake?"
Shabbat shalom.
Shabbat shalom.
10
If one can lose the guilt associated with taking sick days (and I always advocating taking at least two if you are calling in sick), you can really enjoy that time, doing nothing and just seeing what comes up. As an RN who can have some REALLY bad days dealing with sick people's REALLY WORST DAY EVER scenarios, sometimes I just cannot go back for day # 2 of the same thing. It can all be just too much to handle. It is self-protective, and, I would dare say, imperative for some of us to just say "no" every now and then. And if your nose if running and you are sneezing and carrying around a box of tissues, who wants you around anyway?
9
I wish someone had stayed home when they were sick...then maybe I wouldn't spent the past TWO weeks sick in bed. (And I did get a flu shot.) Ugh.
13
If we're going to advocate for sick days, then how about advocating for those who don't have access to paid time off?
It's more people than you think, and not just in the service industry. Both my husband (attorney contracted by staffing firm to large company) and cousin (works at a cleaning company office) have zero paid days off. And in my cousin's case, taking a day off - unpaid or otherwise - could result in her termination.
It's more people than you think, and not just in the service industry. Both my husband (attorney contracted by staffing firm to large company) and cousin (works at a cleaning company office) have zero paid days off. And in my cousin's case, taking a day off - unpaid or otherwise - could result in her termination.
11
Over my career I've gradually added the freedom of being able to work from home, "remotely", and still complete my professional job in technology. The concept of a sick day has faded however.
Firstly, companies no longer separate sick days from vacation days. You now get a collective PTO (paid time off), perhaps 15 days a year, and can use it as you'd like. For me I would never sacrifice a coveted vacation day for a day at home sick. Previously sick time was an honor-system. You used them sparingly out of respect, but if you were really sick you used them. Now you work even when sick.
As someone that works from home, being sick is no longer much of a deterrent to my job. At most I shuffle the days I'm at home, and thus I don't have to worry about getting coworkers sick, coughing and sneezing loudly, or feeling miserable in an office. I can sit at home feeling semi-miserable, sip some tea, cough all I want, and work on at my desk on my laptop. Short of vomiting flu, I can still work. Most sicknesses are not incapacitating for an adult.
This endless work mindset is a bit self-imposed for most of us, as I think most of my coworkers would not object to taking a full-valid sick day. "Feel better soon!", and I'm forgotten about already. But obviously they still send emails and expect general responsiveness at some point. Turning off the mobile device and not opening the laptop at all would be considered odd and deliberate in this day of remote capability.
Firstly, companies no longer separate sick days from vacation days. You now get a collective PTO (paid time off), perhaps 15 days a year, and can use it as you'd like. For me I would never sacrifice a coveted vacation day for a day at home sick. Previously sick time was an honor-system. You used them sparingly out of respect, but if you were really sick you used them. Now you work even when sick.
As someone that works from home, being sick is no longer much of a deterrent to my job. At most I shuffle the days I'm at home, and thus I don't have to worry about getting coworkers sick, coughing and sneezing loudly, or feeling miserable in an office. I can sit at home feeling semi-miserable, sip some tea, cough all I want, and work on at my desk on my laptop. Short of vomiting flu, I can still work. Most sicknesses are not incapacitating for an adult.
This endless work mindset is a bit self-imposed for most of us, as I think most of my coworkers would not object to taking a full-valid sick day. "Feel better soon!", and I'm forgotten about already. But obviously they still send emails and expect general responsiveness at some point. Turning off the mobile device and not opening the laptop at all would be considered odd and deliberate in this day of remote capability.
2
When I worked in the UK, I received two paid months off work to recover from a fairly routine operation, after a prescribed two-week stay in the hospital (I went home after five days, feeling perfectly well), and daily physical therapy sessions. None of this cost me a penny (and, as a comparatively low wage earner, my taxes were less).
Meanwhile, my sister back in the States underwent the same operation at almost the same time as I. It cost her life savings, and she was expected to return to work after just two (unpaid) days off.
The biggest mistake I ever made in my life was returning to the States, where I was once again made to work a minimum 12 hours a day, with unpaid overtime and no sick leave. I now work from home, which I find is the only sane and healthy way to make a living in this country.
Meanwhile, my sister back in the States underwent the same operation at almost the same time as I. It cost her life savings, and she was expected to return to work after just two (unpaid) days off.
The biggest mistake I ever made in my life was returning to the States, where I was once again made to work a minimum 12 hours a day, with unpaid overtime and no sick leave. I now work from home, which I find is the only sane and healthy way to make a living in this country.
22
I am exactly where you hope everyone gets - letting go of everything for a little while. We have a teenager at home, a new puppy, just said goodbye to a houseful of overstayed holiday guests and I have a new job. But, I am unable to do any of this right now because I am sick. It needed to happen. I needed to crawl under the covers and take a break from this crazy relentlessness our house handles right now. The quietness, unmoving of the body, inability to follow a to-do list are all needed right now. I am going to enjoy this!
9
Yes, there is something to be said for letting go of adult responsibilities for a time, letting others take care of us while we dream our fever dreams. But - the dog unwalked? Sorry, this is not like the email unread -- this is like the baby wearing the dirty diaper all day long. Some obligations are ethical, not merely issues of productivity. These obligations must be tended to regardless of our longing for release from ordinary responsibility.
17
Ever since I first read Stevenson's "The Land of Counterpane" I have been a firm believer in sick-in-bed! Go for it.
Agree with Jen - if you're a working parent with kids in school, it's even more important to get slightly sick from time to time!
1
Sage advice; all true. A wonderfully funny piece of writing. Makes me want to vacate my cubicle and head for home this minute.
By all means, take a sick day if you're too ill to work or to avoid sharing your illness from co-workers if you can't work from home. However, that day off spent lying in bed, contemplating your navel, just because? That's spelled w-e-e-k-e-n-d or v-a-c-a-t-i-o-n. Don't abuse sick day policies.
4
I don't know where to begin, but it is very hard to find much beyond criticism for this piece of writing.
I should probably begin with the positive: I think this was a decent idea and people could benefit from some serious consideration about this point.
Unfortunately, the delivery fell flat to say the very least.
First of all, it is difficult to get through this in its entirety because of the writing's serious lack of complexity. I nodded off before getting halfway through. Short, choppy sentences dominate the article ["Some people are not allowed to take sick days. They should not play sick."] and they feel like they were written to be spoon-fed as a lesson for Kindergartners.
At the end Teacher tells us to do as she says, but not as she does in more oversimplified kiddy-speak: "I am writing. I am working. I am following none of my own advice. I will realize nothing about my sexuality today." This conclusion leads to the ultimate eye-roll.
I should probably begin with the positive: I think this was a decent idea and people could benefit from some serious consideration about this point.
Unfortunately, the delivery fell flat to say the very least.
First of all, it is difficult to get through this in its entirety because of the writing's serious lack of complexity. I nodded off before getting halfway through. Short, choppy sentences dominate the article ["Some people are not allowed to take sick days. They should not play sick."] and they feel like they were written to be spoon-fed as a lesson for Kindergartners.
At the end Teacher tells us to do as she says, but not as she does in more oversimplified kiddy-speak: "I am writing. I am working. I am following none of my own advice. I will realize nothing about my sexuality today." This conclusion leads to the ultimate eye-roll.
3
Fantastic article! Could not agree more with this sentiment.
Yes, well, if you're lucky enough to have sick days you are usually discouraged from taking them. If the allotment isn't enough you're afraid to take them just in case the next illness is worse. However, you are admired for coming in while sick even if you spread it to everyone else around you. Only in America are we so cheap with sick time and vacation time. All the better to burn you out, fire you, and let you rot.
91
I had a chance to reflect as I recovered from shoulder surgery. This lead to buying a used travel trailer and now I am planing next summer's adventures. Without that time to think and reflect, this probably would never have come to pass. Now, if only winter would go away.
9
A sick day is a way of shutting out the rest of the world and focusing on taking care of ourselves. It's no wonder that some of our best ideas (especially about ourselves) come to us while we are in this state.
27
That's called (early) retirement. Maybe you should try that sometime, and you don't even "pretend" to be sick or be accountable to anyone. You have all the time on hand. Just make sure you don't come back and complain that you have too much idle time on hand and nothing else to do.
1
tiddle:
No--it's called filling up your mental, emotional and physical tank for one day (one day!) now and then, so you can live to work again. Not everyone who needs an occasional day off to replenish their reserves is ready to retire.
No--it's called filling up your mental, emotional and physical tank for one day (one day!) now and then, so you can live to work again. Not everyone who needs an occasional day off to replenish their reserves is ready to retire.
Don't forget Proust in bed.
7
4:00 PM and have not walked the dog?! Please walk the dog!
33
Let's please assume the dog was outside long enough to relieve herself. The dog will survive without a walk :)
4
Yes. Occupy sick. Completely.
5
I am a hospital emergency physician. In 20 years of working, I have taken three days off for acute injuries and when my mother had a massive stroke. I am the regular recipent of tea room diatribes from staff that run out of sick leave. My response is usually not sympathetic; I stop their grumble midstride by telling them I have 2000 hours of sick leave left to use. My residents are predisposed to calling in sick on days that bookend their free weekend or a stretch of days rostered off work.
The department’s secretary leaves early on a Friday or puts in a no-show. I regularly get a last minute phone call from residents who call in sick, which means that the doctors who are present are required to work an extra shift. Some get sent home from a day shift and are asked to return for ER night duty that cannot be filled in otherwise. It is common knowlege that a substantial proportion of sick leave in my clinical area is used for recreational purposes-I have even seen sick staff having a nice day out when they were supposed to be in bed and resting.
In some consultations, patients who are clearly well enough to go to work ask for a certificate to allow them time off work, which I routinely decline, to their chagrin. Sick leave is intended to be a privilege that benefits the unwell worker’s recovery but has a high level of associated abuse.
The department’s secretary leaves early on a Friday or puts in a no-show. I regularly get a last minute phone call from residents who call in sick, which means that the doctors who are present are required to work an extra shift. Some get sent home from a day shift and are asked to return for ER night duty that cannot be filled in otherwise. It is common knowlege that a substantial proportion of sick leave in my clinical area is used for recreational purposes-I have even seen sick staff having a nice day out when they were supposed to be in bed and resting.
In some consultations, patients who are clearly well enough to go to work ask for a certificate to allow them time off work, which I routinely decline, to their chagrin. Sick leave is intended to be a privilege that benefits the unwell worker’s recovery but has a high level of associated abuse.
33
this attitude is a big part of the problem. so what if the world slowed down?
2
Australia must be very different from America. I am a nurse in a family practice medical office, and what I see is people who are pretty sick (with the influenza for example) not daring to take time off for fear of getting fired, or getting fired despite having a note from a doctor. The lesser paying positions are quite harsh here, a lot of them. Even with serious life-threatening illnesses, many employers will can them if they don't return within 2-3 months...
7
You are exactly what she was talking about!
2
Ms Heti, taking leisurely days off work when one is capable of fronting up within spreading bugs to colleagues (and patients in health care) is not to be encouraged. Emergency services and the economy don't run themselves.
Those at work having to take up the slack for no-shows could be rewarded for higher work intensity. To restrain healthy workers taking "rest and relax days" off on sick leave, consider paying absentees at 75% and redistribute the other 25% to workers who shoulder the extra workload.
I am all for sick leave when it is taken for legitimate reasons. Otherwise it tends to cost others by having to fund replacements for no-shows or do their work.
Those at work having to take up the slack for no-shows could be rewarded for higher work intensity. To restrain healthy workers taking "rest and relax days" off on sick leave, consider paying absentees at 75% and redistribute the other 25% to workers who shoulder the extra workload.
I am all for sick leave when it is taken for legitimate reasons. Otherwise it tends to cost others by having to fund replacements for no-shows or do their work.
7
Please. People taking excessive sick days is hardly some horrible social problem we should discourage by punishing people for being sick. If you reduce people's pay when they are sick, they will simply come to work, which is actually what most people do when sick anyway. Most employers have a hard time getting people to stay at home, rather than come to work and risk getting everyone else sick. Americans don't even take their full vacations when they are entitled to them. You are inventing a problem.
5
Funny and well written!
1
You left Winston Churchill off your list!
MS
MS
3
Why make the Dog suffer?
33
This is all very well, but as a parent of a child you are no allowed to get sick; parents do not get sick, even when they are sick--we have to write our novellas standing up, wheezing, getting the little one dressed and bathed and fed.
17
Just get into bed with the baby, toys, snacks, books and all
1
Very true, and amen to that.
"If you have children, you probably have to not be sick, to tend to your children. I don’t know anything about this."
As a working mom of two with that rare and wonderful job benefit of both sick leave and vacation leave, I can attest that it feels deliciously indulgent to have your partner drop the kids off at school or daycare, and spend the day sick in bed. In fact, it's probably even more wonderful for parents of young children, because we so rarely spend the day in bed doing nothing.
That said, try to take care not to fall ill simultaneously with your kids. Mom + dad + toddler all sick with a stomach bug = misery.
As a working mom of two with that rare and wonderful job benefit of both sick leave and vacation leave, I can attest that it feels deliciously indulgent to have your partner drop the kids off at school or daycare, and spend the day sick in bed. In fact, it's probably even more wonderful for parents of young children, because we so rarely spend the day in bed doing nothing.
That said, try to take care not to fall ill simultaneously with your kids. Mom + dad + toddler all sick with a stomach bug = misery.
25
Jen,
My children are 20 and 18 now, but I still vividly remember when they were about 5 and 2 and came down with the stomach flu (lots of vomiting), followed by their father, and then followed by me. When I felt it coming on, I quickly did as much as I could (cleaned the kitchen, etc.) before it hit. This is one of the more unpleasant "mom" memories I have.
My children are 20 and 18 now, but I still vividly remember when they were about 5 and 2 and came down with the stomach flu (lots of vomiting), followed by their father, and then followed by me. When I felt it coming on, I quickly did as much as I could (cleaned the kitchen, etc.) before it hit. This is one of the more unpleasant "mom" memories I have.
2
Yes! One of the hidden benefits of being a working mom (provided you have sick leave, which, by the way, everyone deserves) is that you can take real sick days when you are ill. The children still go to daycare, you stay home on the couch for a nap. Bliss.
3
I am also a firm believer in taking sick days. In some working environments, taking sick days are discouraged (or not even offered). So people come to work ill, coughing and sneezing all over the place, getting their coworkers sick (because cubicle walls are never high enough to keep out a roving virus). This leads to loss of productivity and often lower morale. The company I work for tends to be on the strict side of enforcing sick days - like getting written warnings for taking sick time too frequently and requiring doctor's notes after so many days off. As if going to the doctor for a cold is at all efficacious (What can a doctor really do for you? Antibiotics don't kill viruses, dontcha know?....not to mention spreading your bug to others in the clinic). Luckily, my current manager has been very forgiving of my two recent colds and a bout of bronchitis. Meanwhile, others with stricter managers are coming in sick and spreading their sickness around.
19
I honestly don't understand what is new about this advice. I gave work-place talks 25 years ago and said all the same things Ms. Heti is suggesting. The bankers and corporate employees laughed nervously when I encouraged everyone to "take a mental health day." Right, they said. Trying to get anyone to breath, loosen their belts and ties, created anxiety, even when it made sense to them. We educate our children for achievement, competition and financial success. When they hear, too late, that they should pay attention to other needs, they become fearful of losing out. I completely agree with the author that our instincts, creativity and satisfactions come from a source of "being" rather than "doing. But it is not happening. It won't until we raise and educate kids in all the beauty of the arts and nature and connection that help make them a whole real person for adulthood.
32
I think we all feel this way, but the advice to rest when sick is ignored. When you live in a culture where people with pointless, yet lucrative jobs that provide sick leave make it a point of pride to never use them it is hard for many people to pay attention to their actual health needs.
1
Well having a refuge is very important. Montaigne the philosopher talked of his "Back Shop" as being a place where he could become introspective and write some of his best philosophy.
A bed is a good place to be introspective but you can do that on a long airplane trip. Personally being sick is something that has never happened to me - from grade school, high school, college and work. I am 74 and continue to work but being introspective is important. It is like reviewing what is going on around you and for me - it is thinking about where I am going on my next "vacation". South India - Kerala is my next trip and wow what a culture and food!
Enjoy life to the fullest, you only go around once.
A bed is a good place to be introspective but you can do that on a long airplane trip. Personally being sick is something that has never happened to me - from grade school, high school, college and work. I am 74 and continue to work but being introspective is important. It is like reviewing what is going on around you and for me - it is thinking about where I am going on my next "vacation". South India - Kerala is my next trip and wow what a culture and food!
Enjoy life to the fullest, you only go around once.
8
"Why is it so hard to stop doing, to just rest?" I don't know about the rest of the world, but I was brought up to believe that stopping doing and just resting equated to practicing one of the Seven Deadly Sins: SLOTH. So throughout my working life — including my long stint as a freelancer — I pushed myself and worked unless extremely ill. Now I'm retired. And I have heart disease. And my cardiologist wants me to at least try to lift dat load and lug dat bale and get out and walk regardless of the weather. But you know what? I've discovered that a little sloth makes me feel better. And weather? Phooey! The "fresh air" of the city is not all it's cracked up to be. Reading a book — or the daily NYT — is good for my brain. And bad ol' sloth in the form of just plain staring at the ceiling restoreth my soul, to misquote the 23rd Psalm.
46
Sandy: rest up. Stay in bed all you want.
1
Sick leave is to help get well but more importantly it serves to limit other people's exposure to your germs, so use it if you ARE sick. Lay in bed on vacation if you want to, but have the grace to take vacation in order to indulge yourself in fake-sick.
"Some people are not allowed to take sick days. They should not play sick." What do you suggest they do? Employees of a local, large, non-profit and non-union health clinic must now use 2 vacation days before they can tap sick leave. Supervisors are probably clipping your column right now to wave in the face of complainers. At least you acknowledge that you are playing sick, with the option to follow your own advice or not. Way to mess things up for everyone else.
"Some people are not allowed to take sick days. They should not play sick." What do you suggest they do? Employees of a local, large, non-profit and non-union health clinic must now use 2 vacation days before they can tap sick leave. Supervisors are probably clipping your column right now to wave in the face of complainers. At least you acknowledge that you are playing sick, with the option to follow your own advice or not. Way to mess things up for everyone else.
19
Yes, and yes.
I am taking the day off... and I am not even sick!
I am taking the day off... and I am not even sick!
12
Okay . . . but walk the dog . . . and feel better.
43