The Death of the Party

Its not so much that millennials don't socialize but the way they socialize has changed. Restaurants, in my opinion, have absorbed the role the house did for hosting events. Its much easier to reserve a table for 10 and let everyone order (and pay for) their own food than it is to clean your home, make a menu, buy alcohol, find extra seating etc.

We recently hosted a large (backyard) party and let me stress, throwing these things is not a cheap endeavor.

One can cook for 8-10 people for the same price two can eat out. Where better to party than at you own dining room table......and they never ask you to leave for the next reservation......

My 2nd-floor unit in a Berkeley duplex is tiny. The house has a pretty little backyard that would be great for small summer get-togethers, but I have to be mindful of my neighbors in the ground floor unit. They put their fussy toddler to bed every evening at 8pm, and even a relaxed night outside is sure to wake her up. The fact that it's so hard for young professional families to buy a house in the Bay Area is another issue altogether.

Most of my friends live in San Francisco, where they partition living rooms into bedrooms to make rent. Hardly anyone earns enough to have a halfway spacious apartment, and those who do get tired of being the go-to host for gatherings. Not to mention that if I want to come back to the East Bay after midnight, BART trains aren't running and it costs $50 to uber across the bay bridge.

I live in LA and people still have parties here! This was always one of the nice things about moving from NYC. This past weekend, I went to an outdoor movie screening/potluck in someone's back yard. There were people of all ages there, mingling and enjoying a balmy evening. Not at all fancy, but festive and DIY. LA is rapidly (and sadly) turning into an overpriced, vertical city. Homes with yards might one day be a thing of the past, or just for the very wealthy. I think us Angelenos are wistfully enjoying true "house" parties while we still can.
That said, we all are guilty of spending too much time in our own online worlds, so to get out of the house, hold a cocktail in your hand and talk to people face-to-face has turned into a treat, not the norm.

Hopefully there will be backlash when everyone wises up. The loss of revelry is a very sad thing.

But nice to hear that it's not just my own unpopularity. I guess I've been living in the past--you hit 50 and wonder why you are not at parties --this is very hard on a party girl.

My son complains bitterly about the last minute cop outs via text. That is all-too common and true -- and is very upsetting when something has been extensively planned. So no one plans anything.

Once again we have a piece pointing out how "special" the millennial generation is for doing what all of us less interesting generations have been doing for years. No one has house parties anymore because they are expensive, messy, a lot of work, and in this age of long work hours and friends that are spread out all over the place, no one has a near-by ready made list of friends to fill their house.

Newsflash: The millennial generation goes through the same stages of adult change as the rest of us. True, but not particularly worthy of a story.

Our twenty-something kids, nieces and nephews throw wonderful parties, just not in the inaffordable cities chosen for this article. Your journalist needed to visit Denver, Philadelphia, suburban Boston and other "second tier places" where they *wisely* chose to begin their creative, more affordable adult lives.

All the complaints about pricing should be a sign that inflation has run away from wages. Simply put if 2 working people (whom are by most measures far more productive than a generation prior) do not earn enough money to buy a home, then clearly they wont be throwing parties in them either.

Even the darling child tech industry is behind. 15 yrs ago a programmer("engineer" in todays terms) could buy a house on 2-3 yrs salary, that is more like 4-5 now.

stop the government from printing so much money and maybe a return to a backed currency. The middle and lower class has been gutted by losing the inflation vs wages game.

Just came from a b-day party for a 90th. Have an invite to a 3 year-old b-day party.

People I know don't even give dinner parties anymore... and those can be very very simple!!

I noticed this a couple of years ago - I don't know if its the time period, or if its just me and the way my life has gone these past few years... but even back in 2012 the parties were way more common and exciting than today. There were far more venues to go out back then, and different people at every party.

Now the parties are rare, boring, and no one talks to each other.

I read the piece noting the frequent use of the word "house" to modify "party" is this a retronym like acoustic base.

Tired of not seeing our friends on a regular basis, my husband and I started a dinner party series that happens once every three weeks.

We provide all of the food. We have one cocktail that we serve during cocktail hour. Everyone else helps out by bringing one bottle of wine per two guests in their party. The dates for each party are emailed in advance, and people sign up via doodle.

It costs about $100 per party, and we have had a blast. Much cheaper than a night out, and only one couple has canceled on us since we started.

I believe the frequency of the get together takes the pressure off of everyone trying to make it for one specific party, so attendance is high. Conversation is always lively, and the atmosphere is very casual.

The bonus is that we do not require knowing the guests of our guests, so we have made many connections, and have made some great new friends!

This kind of nostalgia for the glory days of New York social life is nothing new. Did anyone see Whit Stillman's "Metropolitan", perchance?

"Hey, does anybody have any ideas for a stupid trend piece for this week's style section?"

"Oh, my friend's old roommate's frat brother's ex girlfriend said something on facebook about how it seems like nobody in their 20s throws parties anymore."

"That sounds great! Can you get a quote from your high school football coach's son's friend's coworker, and maybe get in touch with that girl your boyfriend's sister met at that concert?"

"Yes! Perfect! Don't forget to include absurd and infuriating details like the high cost of microbrewed beer that attempt to explain this phenomenon we just made up."

"Would it be stronger if we managed to work in a non sequitur reference to The Paris Review?"

"Yes! Yes! Yes ohmygod yes!"

Young artists are turning to large community events for their socializing. Just check out Fresh Ground Pepper, Catch, or any of the other numerous companies that throw regular celebrations in Brooklyn/Manhattan. They provide places for people to show and experiment with their new work, meet other artists, drink cheap n' delicious booze, and dance the night away. Partying at its finest, and for a good cause.

Because Americans aren't larger than life anymore. They have been beaten down to the point they were attacked for the cars they drove. Told all the progress they've made in last 50 years, meant nothing.

Progressive American and all of its rules, is lame... No fun.

I'd never thought about the lack of parties in this respect, but they may be onto something here. Indeed, my friends in NYC are also very much spread out, and even the party's being in a 'cool' neighborhood doesn't guarantee your friends are going to want to make the trek out to your little party.

Couple that with how technology has changed things, and people can more easily flake or text you that, for whatever reason, they can no longer make it and...there you go.

I guess more than anything, it helps if you already are known for having 'nice' parties, a good mix of friends (for good conversation and mingling), and that the people you invite are themselves, stand-up, loyal type friends (who are less likely to arbitrarily bail on your party).

I refuse to have parties after witnessing the way in which my peers conduct themselves at other people's parties. From drinking to the point of not being able to stand, spilling drinks, not knowing when to leave, and generally just leaving an utter and complete mess to clean up the next day, it's simply not worth the time and effort. I'll have a few close friends over for dinner or movie night, but that's it. I live in an area where all the rental apartments have wall-to-wall carpet (awful) and I know that stains are inevitable and cleanup next to impossible. The only people I know who have house parties do not have nice homes and furniture and clearly never clean so they don't care if drinks are spilled and dirt tracked all over. Interestingly, while in graduate school, I had a number of parties and my peers behaved better then than my current ones, who are all in their early thirties. Go figure.

Of course millennials aren't entertaining much--they're too busy running off to festivals! Not to mention concerts, bars, restaurants, and street fairs. In between working ridiculously long hours. Anyone who thinks millennials do not socialize much--at home or otherwise--obviously hasn't met the crowd I know.

It should go without saying that just because one isn't bowling, doesn't mean that you're sitting at home alone!

One thing that you don't mention here that was great about parties back in the day was that they were often not composed only of "friends" who knew each other. Friends of friends, acquaintances of aquaintenances, total strangers with some unknown connection to somebody or other ... Parties offered unique opportunities to meet people outside your comfort zone, be spontaneous (with the aid of a little inhibition-loosening substance) for a few hours in a "safe," familiar environment - somebody's home. The loss of that is the saddest and most problematic part of the demise of parties, in my opinion. (I say that as someone who was/is extremely shy and socially phobic, and only attended a very few parties as a college student, never in high school. If the one friend I had at any given time hadn't taken me along to a party and given me a little nudge into the social mix I'd hardly have met anyone or experienced anything "fun" and "spontaneous." One should encounter something other than the food, brand of bourbon, type of cracker and well-known faces at a true "party.")