A good sense of humor about himself/herself and the environment he shares is worth mentioning. Also, a decent knowledge of his/her teams' life outside of work helps him manage his emotional expectations and self control.
5
At its best, EI supports skills that make for better human interaction. It isn't the "One Minute Manager" kind of manipulation (and the best antidote to that is "the 59 Second Employee").
3
A lot of people with the positive qualities mentioned here end up as nurses or CNAs working in hospitals and nursing homes cleaning up urine, crap, vomit and other bodily fluids and excretions for a pittance and the Steve Job's of the world to mention one clever tyrant, albeit a generally good tyrant who brought wealth and neat products to many without bloodshed, end up starting and running Apple, the worlds richest company (at one stage anyway) with a firing in between. That comeback was amazing, you did a lot in a short time California dude.
Having said that is it certain who are the better leaders, unassuming nurses and CNAs or Steve Jobs? Bob Dylan once told us don't follow leaders...
Having said that is it certain who are the better leaders, unassuming nurses and CNAs or Steve Jobs? Bob Dylan once told us don't follow leaders...
12
I would be wary of generalizing from Steve Jobs. There's a lot to learn from him and the circumstances of his life, but they were pretty singular, not plural. Note too that emotional intelligence is one dimension of leadership, not a replacement for the others. This is not an either-or thing.
4
The section on empathy should include mention of being empathetic to one's OWN feelings and situation as well as others. Women in particular are often very empathetic towards everyone but themselves.
22
Feh
leadership is results
employees are resource, ie tools, we take care of our tools, keep them sharp and well maintained and lubricated (socially lubricated in this case)
I don't go to work for therapy or friendship, i go to work to make money and maybe do something i can feel good about, but most jobs have no intrinsic satisfaction work is a four letter word ending in K and properly so, most jobs stink and most coworkers are a bother
the circle for 'affect' around leadership is very small, and managers who do touchy-feely are doing so in very small circles
my experience, limited, in management, is that workers want honesty in communications, lead time regarding catastrophe, courtesy in assignments, advocacy in disputes, assistance in resource requests/ claims
and competitive/ comparative salaries and other compensations
sign me curmudgeon
when i left my job my lead programmer cried,
I was overbearing and domineering and my employees said they had candor and honesty from me
i criticized my programmer's interpersonal skills, and explained that he could not work as a team member and needed to be a boss, two of them, they both went elsewhere where they could be bosses
sounds pretty good by me as a manager
managers also should do career development, show clear career pathways, and protect employees from poaching or mission creep
leadership is results
employees are resource, ie tools, we take care of our tools, keep them sharp and well maintained and lubricated (socially lubricated in this case)
I don't go to work for therapy or friendship, i go to work to make money and maybe do something i can feel good about, but most jobs have no intrinsic satisfaction work is a four letter word ending in K and properly so, most jobs stink and most coworkers are a bother
the circle for 'affect' around leadership is very small, and managers who do touchy-feely are doing so in very small circles
my experience, limited, in management, is that workers want honesty in communications, lead time regarding catastrophe, courtesy in assignments, advocacy in disputes, assistance in resource requests/ claims
and competitive/ comparative salaries and other compensations
sign me curmudgeon
when i left my job my lead programmer cried,
I was overbearing and domineering and my employees said they had candor and honesty from me
i criticized my programmer's interpersonal skills, and explained that he could not work as a team member and needed to be a boss, two of them, they both went elsewhere where they could be bosses
sounds pretty good by me as a manager
managers also should do career development, show clear career pathways, and protect employees from poaching or mission creep
4
I assist those desiring to work together for a common purpose. This is often called collaboration which is one of several strategies for working together. In my view, collaboration requires partners to "enhance each others capacity to achieve a common purpose," and collaborative leaders "facilitate mutual enhancement among those working together for a common purpose." When people value the enhancement of others as the basis for their relationship, they want their partners to be the best that they can be. Evidently, high "emotional intelligence" is an important characteristic of collaborative abilities and leadership. Perhaps this is just another way of saying that maturity, humility, respect, generosity, decency, and common courtesy are essential for working together in the best ways possible.
4
Never had any of these qualities in a boss, except for one boss for a few short years.
And yet, as every worker can tell you, incompetent venal bosses who routinely throw their employees under the boss expect loyalty, as if that is not a two way street.
I once worked my way up to a management position and the one thing that every boss should know is that if you do not treat your employees well, they will find a way to get their revenge. You may not know they are doing it and you will never catch them at it, but they will get their pound of flesh in the end.
And yet, as every worker can tell you, incompetent venal bosses who routinely throw their employees under the boss expect loyalty, as if that is not a two way street.
I once worked my way up to a management position and the one thing that every boss should know is that if you do not treat your employees well, they will find a way to get their revenge. You may not know they are doing it and you will never catch them at it, but they will get their pound of flesh in the end.
19
A book I'd like to suggest is Toxic CoWorkers by Dr. Alan A. Cavaiola of Monmouth University.
7
I have invented a new quality of intelligence and developed a test to assess a person's capacity to display this quality in real-life contexts. It is fully evidence-based, according to my reading of the evidence. I call it the "Market Hype Intelligence Quotient" or MHIQ. It accounts for an ungodly large portion of the variance in leader effectiveness, after statistically partialling out the effect of what most people think of as "intelligence" (e.g., characteristics of persons evaluated by the Wechsler tests) AND after removing the effect of Emotional Intelligence.
I am sure this surprises you but yes, it is true: the effectiveness of leaders is MORE a reflection of their capacity to separate hype from reality than any other quality or characteristic.
I would note that predictive validity of the MHIQ is established in studies that show it is very strongly negatively correlated with belief in the reality of Emotional Intelligence (as measured by EI or EQ tests).
I am not arguing that people do not differ in their capacity to perceive emotions, understand emotions, manage emotions, and employ those perceptions and associated understandings in the context of social interaction, nor am I downplaying the importance of those capacities. I am not arguing at all. In fact, I don't even care because my EQ is impressively low. If you want to believe Goleman's reading of the evidence, fine. Means nothing to me.
I am sure this surprises you but yes, it is true: the effectiveness of leaders is MORE a reflection of their capacity to separate hype from reality than any other quality or characteristic.
I would note that predictive validity of the MHIQ is established in studies that show it is very strongly negatively correlated with belief in the reality of Emotional Intelligence (as measured by EI or EQ tests).
I am not arguing that people do not differ in their capacity to perceive emotions, understand emotions, manage emotions, and employ those perceptions and associated understandings in the context of social interaction, nor am I downplaying the importance of those capacities. I am not arguing at all. In fact, I don't even care because my EQ is impressively low. If you want to believe Goleman's reading of the evidence, fine. Means nothing to me.
3
The articles misses a key benchmark - being aware of how your choices impact others around you. I had a boss who swore he had a high level of emotional intelligence. His leadership team had constant conflict, but he swore it was always other people who were the problem, and was always firing people without a second thought. The board of directors started to see a pattern, and after hiring a consultant to work with the leadership team, they realized the team had trust issues, and he was the main cause. They hired another consultant to work with my boss, and he soon realized he had a problem, he was very unaware of how his choices and comments negatively impacted the leadership team and the organization. He had poor self-awareness, or mindfulness. Soon thereafter, he was in a political battle for power with a subordinate, they started to bump heads all the time. These two folks were the worst offenders in the organization when it cam to emotional intelligence, but they used their executive authority to bully and fire people regularly. In the end, it was them that got fired, the two top executive of the organization were gone within months of each other.
10
You left out the most important qualities of a leader:
1. Takes responsibility for his mistakes. Does not view subordinates as fall guys who will be thrown under the proverbial bus.
2. Does not take credit, whether in the form of praise, promotions, or compensation, for others' good ideas or productivity.
3. Praises in public; reprimands or disciplines in private. Does not humiliate his subordinates.
It may be argued, I suppose, that these specifics are contained in your more general recommendations. Which brings us to another:
4. Is specific. Does not talk in buzzwords, cant phrases, cliches, or jargon. Does not set vague goals that leave subordinates playing 'guess what he's thinking' and which then, being amorphous, may be reshaped to throw blame on subordinates when they fail to read his mind or when the 'goals' are not attained (even, or especially, if it happens they read his mind accurately and gave him what he originally wanted!). Does not keep moving goalposts every time the subordinates threaten to actually achieve a touchdown.
I've worked for many bosses in my day but I can think of only three who would be 'good leaders' (never mind 'great') under those criteria.
1. Takes responsibility for his mistakes. Does not view subordinates as fall guys who will be thrown under the proverbial bus.
2. Does not take credit, whether in the form of praise, promotions, or compensation, for others' good ideas or productivity.
3. Praises in public; reprimands or disciplines in private. Does not humiliate his subordinates.
It may be argued, I suppose, that these specifics are contained in your more general recommendations. Which brings us to another:
4. Is specific. Does not talk in buzzwords, cant phrases, cliches, or jargon. Does not set vague goals that leave subordinates playing 'guess what he's thinking' and which then, being amorphous, may be reshaped to throw blame on subordinates when they fail to read his mind or when the 'goals' are not attained (even, or especially, if it happens they read his mind accurately and gave him what he originally wanted!). Does not keep moving goalposts every time the subordinates threaten to actually achieve a touchdown.
I've worked for many bosses in my day but I can think of only three who would be 'good leaders' (never mind 'great') under those criteria.
28
You mean a good boss is like a unicorn then?
7
This is Education Lite, not Education Life! To describe this as thin would be a remarkable understatement. There seems to be no there, there.
14
When I see a great leader, I notice how they respond to bad news, criticism or negative results.
They expect it will happen and acknowledge it and respond. A poor leader give the evil eye and discourages bad news.
They expect it will happen and acknowledge it and respond. A poor leader give the evil eye and discourages bad news.
7
nicely done -- wise in form and content.
3
I have been in business for 30+ years. I have an MBA, and have worked for a number of successful companies. During that time I have come to the conclusion that most companies can analyze a deal, or a complex cash flow, without breaking a sweat. Yet these same companies and managers are terrible at dealing with people. They are successful in spite of their people skills, if they ever got it all working together they would blow away the competition.
Some thoughts on dealing with people:
Like yourself first
Like people, if you don't, you have no business as a manager.
See the best in the people around you and show it to them.
Most people are trustworthy, treat them as such. Those who are not, fire them.
Give people all the information they need to do their jobs.
Give people all the responsibility they can handle.
Everyone makes mistakes, its not the end of the world, learn from it, forgive, and move on.
When making a decision, seek input from the people who will be effected.
A workplace should be a nice place to be: physically, intellectually and emotionally.
None of this is new, but its like driving in the Indianapolis 500, put the pedal down, turn left. Simple but not easy; worth the effort though.
Some thoughts on dealing with people:
Like yourself first
Like people, if you don't, you have no business as a manager.
See the best in the people around you and show it to them.
Most people are trustworthy, treat them as such. Those who are not, fire them.
Give people all the information they need to do their jobs.
Give people all the responsibility they can handle.
Everyone makes mistakes, its not the end of the world, learn from it, forgive, and move on.
When making a decision, seek input from the people who will be effected.
A workplace should be a nice place to be: physically, intellectually and emotionally.
None of this is new, but its like driving in the Indianapolis 500, put the pedal down, turn left. Simple but not easy; worth the effort though.
77
Have the leaders you have observed who have difficulty dealing with humans gotten worse since the advent of all of these electronic means of communication?
If the leaders are like other humans I say that the answer is YES!
If the leaders are like other humans I say that the answer is YES!
2
I would reply:
Like most folks sometimes I like myself - sometimes I don't
I like some people - others I do not
It trust trustworthy people and I distrust those that are not
I could go on an on..... don't really hate anyone or anything but....
Mostly though - I absolutely hate platitudes
Like most folks sometimes I like myself - sometimes I don't
I like some people - others I do not
It trust trustworthy people and I distrust those that are not
I could go on an on..... don't really hate anyone or anything but....
Mostly though - I absolutely hate platitudes
1
I have an acquaintance who studied this and taught this at several of the nation's best business colleges, had many years of personal psychotherapy, and yet he is completely obtuse when it comes to dealing with either his wife or his now grown son. His "compensation" is a shrewd technique of asking questions and moving from one subject to another so that in five minutes you no longer remember what you had started discussing but were totally immersed in a fascinating discussion. My husband, trained as a doctor to actually listen, had a bead on our friend from the first.
It takes more than description and definitions to have emotional intelligence. My friend, who does not really know how to listen, will never have emotional intelligence but he will always find others to provide him with the attentiveness he needs and craves.
It takes more than description and definitions to have emotional intelligence. My friend, who does not really know how to listen, will never have emotional intelligence but he will always find others to provide him with the attentiveness he needs and craves.
28
This list is so short and brief that it is probably useless to those who need it. I recommend Coleman's book Emotional Intelligence for starters, I found it to be very useful but I still needed years of therapy to counteract an extremely dysfunctional upbringing.
7
But it is an excellent starting point, and the brevity encourages creative thinking and allows you to use it as a springboard.
14
Do people no longer learn/study/practice the art of Active Listening. AJ's reference here is perfunctory in this regard. It's fundamental to all the other skills. Don't leave home without it.
3
That's a great list. Perhaps reader AJ is right that so much of emotional intelligence is part of one's DNA. But I would inform AJ that there are thousands of people who have difficulty feeling their emotions and regulating them because they were raised in families that didn't foster such expressions or allow for their release. With a great deal of work and courage and working with a competent psychiatrist a person who was brought up in such conditions can, by somatic and other strategies read, feel and understand their emotions. And others too. Thus under the right supervision and with very necessary motivation, a human being can learn how to be emotionally intelligent about themselves first followed quickly by the people that surround them
7
This article in no way discusses "HOW" to be emotionally intelligent. Instead it DESCRIBES those who are. Much of emotional intelligence is inborn. I've yet to see a single study that shows there is a way to increase ones natural ability or lack thereof in this area.
34
A good muscle relaxant or anti-depressive works wonders. My boss used to nip his anxieties after work with bourbon and scotch. LOL
11
1. Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence
2. Daniel Goleman, Working with Emotional Intelligence (lots of stuff about corporate work)
3. Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication
Also close to this subject and very good:
4. Roger Fisher and William Ury, Getting to Yes. Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In
2. Daniel Goleman, Working with Emotional Intelligence (lots of stuff about corporate work)
3. Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication
Also close to this subject and very good:
4. Roger Fisher and William Ury, Getting to Yes. Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In
7
Bingo AJ: you figured out why these "competencies" topics are rarely efficacious in the real world. This has less to do with "education" and more to do with HR protocols to tell the truth.
I have learned, and continue to learn, that good self-awareness is the foundation. You cannot be in sufficient control of yourself, if you do not know what needs to be controlled. Someone commented that the traits of a good leader are also traits of a good parent or teacher. I agree, self-control is essential in that arena as well, especially since one's audience (children) is a lot more likely to retain the contagious emotions of the out of control leader/ parent.
Unfortunately, all sorts of dysfunction preclude this ability - people with giant egos that have yet to be crucified, people with mental illnesses and personality disorders, people with substance abuse problems, survivors of complex trauma, people with certain learning disabilities/ADHD/ other executive dysfunction.
There is a way to overcome the dysfunction of not having inherent self-awareness -to seek it, to ask questions of the people who are impacted by your behavior, and to ask questions of yourself- discovering what makes one feel happy and comfortable or angry and uneasy.
It's hard to turn the mirror inward, but mindfully doing this every day helps me to keep the self-awareness at a conscious level instead of superficially accepting the easy and usually wrong answers of ingrained habits and assumptions about myself and others. (If one must assume, at least assume good or neutral intent instead of bad...)
Unfortunately, all sorts of dysfunction preclude this ability - people with giant egos that have yet to be crucified, people with mental illnesses and personality disorders, people with substance abuse problems, survivors of complex trauma, people with certain learning disabilities/ADHD/ other executive dysfunction.
There is a way to overcome the dysfunction of not having inherent self-awareness -to seek it, to ask questions of the people who are impacted by your behavior, and to ask questions of yourself- discovering what makes one feel happy and comfortable or angry and uneasy.
It's hard to turn the mirror inward, but mindfully doing this every day helps me to keep the self-awareness at a conscious level instead of superficially accepting the easy and usually wrong answers of ingrained habits and assumptions about myself and others. (If one must assume, at least assume good or neutral intent instead of bad...)
30
Yes! And, one excellent entry into self-awareness is yoga. The practice works wonders on so many levels it is profound if you let it be so. Most do it for 'exercise' in this country but it's power to offer well-being is relatively low cost. I'm so grateful for it & haven't had anything else work so well for me.
8
Very well said Ella. I had a boss once who swore he had high emotional intelligence, but was clearly toxic and didn't have any clue to what his behaviors were doing to his staff and organization.
6
This is all true. And it is best to start with public speaking courses in high school and through college. Toastmasters is an excellent way to become a great speaker.
6
The problem with this post is that great leaders (often men) are notoriously lacking in emotional intelligence - Steve Jobs comes to mind immediately. Patton had temper tantrums, Edison was exacting - need I go on?
"Rene Descartes was a drunken fart,
'I drink therefore I am,' " as the silly song goes.
But what if instead the great leader was inspirational, dogmatic, tyrannical, egotistical and cruel (a few living architects I know, who are very successful definitely have those qualities.)
So I guess it depends on what the meaning of success is is.. You can be a power broker, (Moses and LBJ) you can be an artist, or you can be fair and tolerant and have people like you. These two things often do not go together, in my experience.
"Rene Descartes was a drunken fart,
'I drink therefore I am,' " as the silly song goes.
But what if instead the great leader was inspirational, dogmatic, tyrannical, egotistical and cruel (a few living architects I know, who are very successful definitely have those qualities.)
So I guess it depends on what the meaning of success is is.. You can be a power broker, (Moses and LBJ) you can be an artist, or you can be fair and tolerant and have people like you. These two things often do not go together, in my experience.
42
Lol-I went to a talk on psychopathy once and it was very interesting to learn that there is a little bit of research going on about what it takes to 'make it' to the levels you described, & the correlation was alarming and fascinating. (Of course it's not causation & they're not all criminals.)
2
Rand Paul's anger at being reminded of his past comments comes to mind. How could someone so emotionally immature make a great President? Of course we don't have tricky Dick (Nixon) to kick around anymore.
6
This is like telling someone how a professional baseball player hits a curveball. Knowing what it entails does not enable one to do it.
41
Share your vision, make sure it is understood, find out how the people you are leading feel they fit into the big picture. Then one can try and deploy their individual abilities most effectively. Way to much is taken for grated and or assumed these days. Some people auto clone, others do not.
My experience has been that the very best middle managers exhibit these traits but that the top echelon of leadership is all about their own ambition and glory.
So, if you want to be a highly productive team leader leader by all means develop your emotional intellilgence but if you want to be the CEO just get ruthless about your career and maximizing your glory.
So, if you want to be a highly productive team leader leader by all means develop your emotional intellilgence but if you want to be the CEO just get ruthless about your career and maximizing your glory.
102
According to Jim Collins' study of the most successful companies (Good to Great), self-effacing leadership is one of the key features. So maybe the ruthless glory-seekers make it to the top, but apparently not to the top of the greatest companies. Apple (not included in Collins' study) would of course be an interesting case study, and I can see endless arguments on either side about whether Steve Jobs' passion was personal glory or serving something larger than himself.
Most books on Emotional Intelligence come with hidden assumptions, the ideas originate from privilege observers or people living in environmentally friendly situations not those forced to survive in dysfunctional relationships - demanding instant responses, soft practices such as mindfulness and Emotionally Intelligence target the privileged. Buddha, Jesus and other's responsible for popular approaches embrace confrontation unlike the unlike pseudo of minimalist constructs. At some point we lose it and realize there are limits to EI practices.
8
Still Working On Leadership?
" ... in conjunction with these management 'theories' we have, for example, Balanced Scorecards, Benchmarking, Brainstorming, Bricks & Clicks, Quality Function Deployment, Covey’s Seven Habits, Deming’s Fourteen Points and Seven Deadly Sins, Porter’s Seven Surprises, Lewin’s Force Field Analysis, Strategic Management, Leadership, Management Metaphors, Team Building, Group Dynamics, and the ever-popular Reengineering & Crisis Management. There is no end to the ingenuity of B-school faculty in dreaming up the latest and greatest strategy for managing human and other resources ... yes, we are now resources, not persons. And you may be certain that not a single one of these practices – don't elevate them to the level of theories -- saw the light of day either sequentially, as part of a system of management building blocks, or in conjunction with an all-encompassing management paradigm.
If you study 'Human Resource' Management, you will be introduced to, e.g., Fromm's Four Orientations, Jung’s Personality Typology, the Myers-Briggs Personality Types, the Keirsey Temperament Sorter, Nine Personality Types of Entrepreneurs, Holland’s Six Personality Types, McCallister’s Six Communication Styles ... should I go on? All of it is based on anecdotal 'analysis,' not anything remotely related to scientific discovery. It is especially disconcerting that major corporations make employment decisions and employee work assignments based upon this psycho-babble."
" ... in conjunction with these management 'theories' we have, for example, Balanced Scorecards, Benchmarking, Brainstorming, Bricks & Clicks, Quality Function Deployment, Covey’s Seven Habits, Deming’s Fourteen Points and Seven Deadly Sins, Porter’s Seven Surprises, Lewin’s Force Field Analysis, Strategic Management, Leadership, Management Metaphors, Team Building, Group Dynamics, and the ever-popular Reengineering & Crisis Management. There is no end to the ingenuity of B-school faculty in dreaming up the latest and greatest strategy for managing human and other resources ... yes, we are now resources, not persons. And you may be certain that not a single one of these practices – don't elevate them to the level of theories -- saw the light of day either sequentially, as part of a system of management building blocks, or in conjunction with an all-encompassing management paradigm.
If you study 'Human Resource' Management, you will be introduced to, e.g., Fromm's Four Orientations, Jung’s Personality Typology, the Myers-Briggs Personality Types, the Keirsey Temperament Sorter, Nine Personality Types of Entrepreneurs, Holland’s Six Personality Types, McCallister’s Six Communication Styles ... should I go on? All of it is based on anecdotal 'analysis,' not anything remotely related to scientific discovery. It is especially disconcerting that major corporations make employment decisions and employee work assignments based upon this psycho-babble."
74
And, even more baffling, "they" propose to teach the up 'n coming corporate stars all this in a few days of flashy slides, videos, group exercises and facilitated self examination. This "business" garners millions each year but the outcomes are qualitative at best. Even Deming tells us that statistics drown any hope of a clear or meaninful assessment. CBS (just this morning), LOL, bemoaned the exponential rise in the costs of education, explicitly at our colleges and universities. The increases outstrip any other contemporary economic indicator except the rise of the 1%, I guess.
11
All summarized in a power point that allows a limited number of bullets and sub bullets. As in the article this references.
Bullets lead to meetings that lead to more meetings that lead to a restart that lead to a new theory and then a do over after the reorg with a new team and the team building exercise. Management?
Bullets lead to meetings that lead to more meetings that lead to a restart that lead to a new theory and then a do over after the reorg with a new team and the team building exercise. Management?
4
Your post reminds me of the person described in the comment by B. Rothman.
These are all points we should exercise with ourselves - the inner conversation everyone has that leads us through life - as well as with others.
These are not just about being a leader, but also about being a person.
These are not just about being a leader, but also about being a person.
9
Every little bit helps though egos are speed bumps to success regardless of station in life.
2
Sounds just like being a middle child. And as the third out of four kids, I should know!
9
Being the "first born" carries a similar venue... albeit with few examples to follow.
Theoretically yes. However, in real life there are crucial situations, requiring tough, disciplined decision making with no compromises and no kitty glove handling. When the pressure cooker is off, then things should go back to the customary Emotional Intelligence leadership. Never forget that in business, management by objectives or for results is the mantra of the day.
1
Why not practice these suggested skills allowing one to acquire the legitimacy as a leader, thereby enabling the leader to make the crucial/critical decisions? Building upon and practicing emotional intelligence with subordinates is like making deposits into the emotional bank account, and then when a leader needs to make a withdrawal from the emotional bank account, the emotional currency is there to do so. I am in agreement with you, many organizations are keenly focused on MBOs.
3
They're not exclusive. the better you understand yourself and your team the better the results.
4
Emotional Intelligence (AKA Personal Leadership) should be taught from day one in schools. It's what can make the world go round more smoothly and help all types of organisations flow with successful collaboration. It's needed to nurture our relationships. The first country to realise and implement this in schools will transform their country and change the world. It's that important!
10
I can't say that I know the specific qualities of a good leader, but I absolutely know one when I see one.
12
I recall a study a couple of years back that EI is great asset for middle management but sucessful senior leaders do not show a strong patter of this trait, or find it to be advantagoues. Case and point Steve Jobs, Larry Ellison, and even Michael Bloomberg, to a degree.
8
Another interpretation of EQ is Genuine-ness.
There are plenty of leaders who lead with fear and intimidation, and are thus successful by the means the business community counts - EBITDA alone. That this achievement is gained through high turnover, questionable reputation, apathy from the top down, subterfuge, and other unsavouries is of little concern to investors.
This article speaks to 'great' leaders -- defined by a more nuanced set of skills, ones that are less likely to be encountered but when they are, the lives they enrich make for happier employees and customers.
Richard Branson, Indra Nooyi, and others are good examples of this phenomena.
Make no mistake: having empathy doesn't mean a leader must not apply themselves to the highest standards, with expectations clearly communicated and expected. What it does allow is an opportunity to allow people who have fallen off track, a chance to regain their footing. It doesn't mean that if they can't you pat them on the head and tell them not to worry.
3 is a magic number for me. I use it to help inform the people I lead what it looks like in the office setting. 1. make a mistake, you'll get all the help you need to fix it. 2. make the same mistake again, you'll get help and a warning. 3. make the same mistake a third time, and it is clear that for whatever reason, you may not be the right fit for the role you are in.
Empathy is good, when it is genuine and reasonable. It doesn't mean that you are a pushover.
There are plenty of leaders who lead with fear and intimidation, and are thus successful by the means the business community counts - EBITDA alone. That this achievement is gained through high turnover, questionable reputation, apathy from the top down, subterfuge, and other unsavouries is of little concern to investors.
This article speaks to 'great' leaders -- defined by a more nuanced set of skills, ones that are less likely to be encountered but when they are, the lives they enrich make for happier employees and customers.
Richard Branson, Indra Nooyi, and others are good examples of this phenomena.
Make no mistake: having empathy doesn't mean a leader must not apply themselves to the highest standards, with expectations clearly communicated and expected. What it does allow is an opportunity to allow people who have fallen off track, a chance to regain their footing. It doesn't mean that if they can't you pat them on the head and tell them not to worry.
3 is a magic number for me. I use it to help inform the people I lead what it looks like in the office setting. 1. make a mistake, you'll get all the help you need to fix it. 2. make the same mistake again, you'll get help and a warning. 3. make the same mistake a third time, and it is clear that for whatever reason, you may not be the right fit for the role you are in.
Empathy is good, when it is genuine and reasonable. It doesn't mean that you are a pushover.
5
This sounds like someone who knows how to behave like an adult. Alas, there are too many "adults" in this world, some of them in our government, who do not know how to act like adults. But I was also under the impression, from interviews I've had for various jobs, that acting like a competent adult was not what interviewers were looking for. They want to be wowed and entertained. They want us to smile and jump through hoops rather than demonstrate our competence, our knowledge, or anything else. If we get the job we are not supposed to use our common sense. In the American workplace your employer tells you how to think, when to think, and what to think. Maturity is not the hallmark of a good employee. Following orders and not asking questions is.
81
You worked for NYTelephone, also?
5
The corporate model is the military. Orders. Lies. Sucking up.
And yes, it was alive and well at AT&T and NYNEX moderate by unions when they still had power.
And yes, it was alive and well at AT&T and NYNEX moderate by unions when they still had power.
3
and the university/academe
1
So "emotional intelligence" is the new "synergy" or "leadership", to be parroted in corporate peer performance reviews as something deep and new.
40
It's not new. Goleman has been peddling 'emotional intelligence' for many years; I have the first book around the house somewhere. It's another of those 'business' cant phrases executives read in an article in a business magazine, latch onto, and bark, 'get me some of that, whatever it is'. Business types are suckers for formulae, systems, shibboleths, catch phrases, etc.
1
EQ is obviously important, but so too is helping your team accomplish something. Happiness is an end in life, if understood as flourishing (eudaimonia), not just the emotion of the moment. But an emotionally happy team may not be a well led and successful team, though it's also true that an unhappy team is less likely to work together effectively.
3
In the last line of my comment I should have said many of those good guys have not proven to be especially good leaders.
3
It's funny that Lyndon Johnson whom Obama is criticized for not emulating had few of these and Obama appears to have most. If Mr. Goleman is correct then why is LBJ held up as being a great leader?
And what is the definition of a great leader? There have been many dictators who have none of these attributes and yet managed to gain control of their countries and stay in power for year. Or are these the attributes of a nice guy leader. Of course there have been many of those who proven to be especially good leaders.
And what is the definition of a great leader? There have been many dictators who have none of these attributes and yet managed to gain control of their countries and stay in power for year. Or are these the attributes of a nice guy leader. Of course there have been many of those who proven to be especially good leaders.
8
I don't think lying about Gulf of Tonkin & then killing 58,000 American soldiers and over a million Vietnamese civilians and combatants in order to appease the generals and to boost profits at Bell Helicopter, Lockheed, etc. qualifies as great leadership. There has been some historical revisionism recently around LBJ and it now seems fashionable to consider him a "great leader" but those of us who lived through those times know otherwise.
8
Obama has most of these!? Empathy? Self-Awareness? He doesn't even seem to like working with people, while LBJ clearly did. And, of course, the article starts out with, "What makes a great leader? Knowledge, smarts and vision, to be sure." Being a leader clearly isn't just about being nice and empowering your team, but I don't see anything on this list that isn't helpful in most situations. Of course, when it comes to "self-management", a good leader knows when to declare a crisis and demand all hands on deck. But, if everyone in the group has been managed by fear and kept in individual silos, they are not going to respond as well to a crisis as a group who has been groomed as a team and clearly communicated to, and who feels that they understand and respect the leader, and the leader understands and respects them. I always strove for "EI" as a leader, but that didn't mean I never fired people, that I never declared deadlines, or that I didn't do my best to make my team understand the urgency of producing results, and the consequences of failure. I've had my share of psychopathic bosses in my career -- they mostly impeded the achievement of results, and occasionally prevented them, because they were so wrapped up in their own personality defects that they were unable to think clearly and let the team do its work.
1
LBJ strong-armed, bargained, made things happen - some not so good.
Yes Obama has most of these. Obama, being black and opposed by many white politicians from day one, makes things happen any way he can. I do wish his administration was more transparent - forget that! I want his administration to be transparent as he promised us when he campaigned.=
Yes Obama has most of these. Obama, being black and opposed by many white politicians from day one, makes things happen any way he can. I do wish his administration was more transparent - forget that! I want his administration to be transparent as he promised us when he campaigned.=
Be a kind, caring human being. One of my favorite expressions is "you are no smarter now than the day before you were promoted". Managers try to take on a persona...bad idea. With the effective manager, you feel like you AND the manager are part of something; together. If that's the culture, you will excel.
24
The best managers I had would coach and properly train new hires and monitor their progress. If they were not able to perform to high standards even after good coaching, then they were removed from the team. Only high performers were retained.
The worse managers I had tried to be liked and would tolerate poor performers or were not able to identify them to begin with. They would lose top performers to other managers or to attrition.
The worse managers I had tried to be liked and would tolerate poor performers or were not able to identify them to begin with. They would lose top performers to other managers or to attrition.
6
Something that we try so hard to cultivate in education...send help!
2
Re Henderson and Sarcasm Sarcasm is usually a failue to manage one's emotions--anger--to be exact.
6
Very true though I would say sarcasm falls under all 4 areas that the writer offers as categories.
1
OK but I have found that "keeping sarcasm in check" at work is as important as any of these listed. It is rarely mentioned in lists like these and it should be.
The issue of empathy is relevant but there is a problem: One cannot make a person who is not empathetic in the workplace somehow genuinely empathetic. You might be able to train them not to show their lack of empathy, but you cannot train them to be actually empathetic.
Some of my least successful managers were always "calm" no matter what was happening. That actually creates tension in the team because it seems as it the leader is immovable. So I see the point of "self-management" but it is too simplistic in real world scenarios.
The issue of empathy is relevant but there is a problem: One cannot make a person who is not empathetic in the workplace somehow genuinely empathetic. You might be able to train them not to show their lack of empathy, but you cannot train them to be actually empathetic.
Some of my least successful managers were always "calm" no matter what was happening. That actually creates tension in the team because it seems as it the leader is immovable. So I see the point of "self-management" but it is too simplistic in real world scenarios.
26
Agreed that sarcasm is toxic, but I think if you follow the "compelling communication" point that would exclude sarcasm. I think the author is simply suggesting being empathetic yourself not trying to make others so, though I have learned that empathy begets empathy even from those who have previously shown no ability to be empathic. And I think a manager cannot be too calm, I managed options traders for years and found that me being calm, without being detached or disengaged, the most effective form of leadership. But you must continue to be engaged and focused and open to new ideas. Make your emotions serve you rather than letting them run you. I also find the other advantage to (almost) always being calm is that when the situation requires it, you have a whole palette of emotion to help you constructively make your point. If you are yelling all the time there is no way to do this.
6
I find it interesting that you highlight sarcasm in the workplace as a destructive force. I work in a very sarcastic group. I've always thought of it as a way to keep laughing and not take ourselves too seriously. It's just a job, after all. I've never experienced it as destructive, but apparently in your life it has been. Maybe different workplaces have different cultures, norms and needs?
15
Woodyrd, are you the manager of that group though?
"It's just a job, after all."
I hope you dont say that at a meeting.
"It's just a job, after all."
I hope you dont say that at a meeting.
1
With all the breakthroughs in the mind sciences it is very clear that emotional intelligence is none other than wisdom. Emotional intelligence stems from emotional health and so wisdom education is emotional healing education. People do not need to know emotional intelligence competencies; just as an effective mother does not need to have the knowledge of wisdom to raise a wise child. Rather than emphasizing the knowledge of wisdom we can make the masses wise on a massive scale.
When the word management is used it implies that there are negative emotions that need to be managed. The emphasis has to be on an emotional baggage free brains so that wisdom is in play effortlessly. We should not focus on the attributes of emotional intelligence and should go full throttle for making the masses become wisdom. http://shar.es/1gy4CB via
When the word management is used it implies that there are negative emotions that need to be managed. The emphasis has to be on an emotional baggage free brains so that wisdom is in play effortlessly. We should not focus on the attributes of emotional intelligence and should go full throttle for making the masses become wisdom. http://shar.es/1gy4CB via
2
Emotional intelligence comprising skill sets needed for performance in schools, and the chief reason for school conflicts and student failures. As a school mental health professional who worked with individuals and small groups, I felt that simple training in social skills, would often be the better choice, if offered, than a diagnosis of emotional disturbance. Social problem solving, teaching self regulation skills--not offered, when a crucial component of both personal and school success. Committee For Children, a nonprofit, and others offer lessons for school teachers to use in the classroom. I've used them, with role plays, and of course they work. Not testable, except when quantifying self acceptance and happiness. Hint: Perhaps harassed teachers are not able to make room for breathing deeply enough to enjoy their work, much less model sound emotional self regulation.
2
Daniel Goleman is in favor of developing emotional intelligence comeptencies to create emotional intelligence. Competencies are the attributes of emotional intelligence. It is like competencies are the fruit where emotional intelligence itself is the tree. It is like Goleman is recomending creating fruit without cultivating the tree. No wonder his way falls short and does not change much.
Goleman keeps adding know how to the knowledge of emotional intelligence. The whole game of emotional intelligence is not about just having the knowledge of emotional intelligence; it is about making the individual physically capable of becoming emotionally intelligent. Emotional intelligence is emotional health and so the end goal is to make every individual emotionally healthy to be able to effortlessly and without conscious effort produce all the emotional competencies.
Goleman is recomending becoming an effiecient manager of one’s emotional competencies; this boils down to managing one’s emotional incompetencies. It means emotional incompetencies are right there in the individual that need to be controlled. In neurobiological terms it means the brain is wired to generate toxic biochemicals and instead of healing the brain’s defective neuron wiring we simply try to control the effects of toxic biochemicals. It is like the heating system in a house is malfunctioning and the heat cannot be turned off and so the airconditioning is switched on to counter the heat.
Goleman keeps adding know how to the knowledge of emotional intelligence. The whole game of emotional intelligence is not about just having the knowledge of emotional intelligence; it is about making the individual physically capable of becoming emotionally intelligent. Emotional intelligence is emotional health and so the end goal is to make every individual emotionally healthy to be able to effortlessly and without conscious effort produce all the emotional competencies.
Goleman is recomending becoming an effiecient manager of one’s emotional competencies; this boils down to managing one’s emotional incompetencies. It means emotional incompetencies are right there in the individual that need to be controlled. In neurobiological terms it means the brain is wired to generate toxic biochemicals and instead of healing the brain’s defective neuron wiring we simply try to control the effects of toxic biochemicals. It is like the heating system in a house is malfunctioning and the heat cannot be turned off and so the airconditioning is switched on to counter the heat.
3
Cognitive empathy, communication, and understanding the perspectives of others are important. However, team playing is only effective when the team itself is playing honestly, fairy, and with integrity.
17
Totally with you re the fairy - perhaps some fairy dust as well for good measure... :-)
2
I propose that we all send this to Ted Cruz. I am certain that his campaign has set up a website.
Not that I expect he could change. But he might at least THINK about it.
Not that I expect he could change. But he might at least THINK about it.
9
But think of the HUGE downside if he does change.
Why help him?
Why help him?
1
Ohhh Puuleeze. You want to bring Ted Cruz's emotional empathy down to Obama's level? Not very nice.
Mr. Coleman's list defines the qualities of a good parent. I don't know if these are the qualities of a good leader. What is the evidence to support this premise?
Perhaps a list of our elected representatives and office holders (people who aspire to and claim the mantle of leaders) who meet these criteria would give more substance to this article.
Perhaps a list of our elected representatives and office holders (people who aspire to and claim the mantle of leaders) who meet these criteria would give more substance to this article.
"Team playing: People feel relaxed working with you. One sign: They laugh easily around you."
Yes men laugh easily around the one they're pandering to.
Otherwise, the advice reads pretty good.
Yes men laugh easily around the one they're pandering to.
Otherwise, the advice reads pretty good.
20
A very useful book on how to relate to others is
How to win friends and influence People by Dale Carnegie
every world leader should read it .
How to win friends and influence People by Dale Carnegie
every world leader should read it .
3
What people say they want in a leader is honesty.
Good leaders are not necessarily honest, but are believable, whether telling the truth or lying. That is, if you can project an air of honesty - or at least ignorance - the people will follow.
Good leaders are not necessarily honest, but are believable, whether telling the truth or lying. That is, if you can project an air of honesty - or at least ignorance - the people will follow.
If there were a formula for being a great leader, somebody would have found it by now.
I prefer what Lao-Tse said: "When the work of the best leader is done, the people say, 'We did it ourselves.' " A test of performance, then, not the result of introspection.
I prefer what Lao-Tse said: "When the work of the best leader is done, the people say, 'We did it ourselves.' " A test of performance, then, not the result of introspection.
38
Yes there is a formula and not just leaders can be trained to become emotionally competent; the majority of the masses can be nurtured into wisdom.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLc4jzuPS98 , www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmzwj-W8Mww , www.youtube.com/watch?v=9--H9kBcrBQ
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLc4jzuPS98 , www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmzwj-W8Mww , www.youtube.com/watch?v=9--H9kBcrBQ
There was a book called EQ-emotional quotient-that came out about 20 years ago. This article sums up the book's framework, but the book went into great detail on HOW to change your EQ.
http://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-emotional-intelligence-eq/0001037
Here is where one can actually change one's EQ.
5. Social skills. The development of good interpersonal skills is tantamount to success in your life and career. In today’s always-connected world, everyone has immediate access to technical knowledge. Thus, “people skills” are even more important now because you must possess a high EQ to better understand, empathize and negotiate with others in a global economy. Among the most useful skills are:
Influence. Wielding effective persuasion tactics.
Communication. Sending clear messages.
Leadership. Inspiring and guiding groups and people.
Change catalyst. Initiating or managing change.
Conflict management. Understanding, negotiating and resolving disagreements.
Building bonds. Nurturing instrumental relationships.
Collaboration and cooperation. Working with others toward shared goals.
Team capabilities. Creating group synergy in pursuing collective goals.
This Times article shows many innate qualities. These found above CAN be changed with specialists whether with personal therapy or with training seminars. The point is finding our EQ and where exactly we can change...going after these SPECIFIC traits can enhance OUR lives and our employees lives.
http://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-emotional-intelligence-eq/0001037
Here is where one can actually change one's EQ.
5. Social skills. The development of good interpersonal skills is tantamount to success in your life and career. In today’s always-connected world, everyone has immediate access to technical knowledge. Thus, “people skills” are even more important now because you must possess a high EQ to better understand, empathize and negotiate with others in a global economy. Among the most useful skills are:
Influence. Wielding effective persuasion tactics.
Communication. Sending clear messages.
Leadership. Inspiring and guiding groups and people.
Change catalyst. Initiating or managing change.
Conflict management. Understanding, negotiating and resolving disagreements.
Building bonds. Nurturing instrumental relationships.
Collaboration and cooperation. Working with others toward shared goals.
Team capabilities. Creating group synergy in pursuing collective goals.
This Times article shows many innate qualities. These found above CAN be changed with specialists whether with personal therapy or with training seminars. The point is finding our EQ and where exactly we can change...going after these SPECIFIC traits can enhance OUR lives and our employees lives.
3
Most people given the job of manager (I wont say leader, there is a HUGE difference) lack #3 and #4 as they are more beholden to the budget than anything.
9
It's not just about being a great leader....happiness with self is so very important as is self respect and respect for others!
21
Empathy is not something you find at the top of a list of traits needed to be a successful salesperson, but it should be. I have worked in tech for 14 years having worked closely with over 300 sales professionals and I can tell you that the top 5, were all extraordinarily good listeners and highly empathetic to their customers' (and potential customers) needs, concerns and day-to-day stresses.
This piece only lightly touches on the power of EQ (as it used to be called many years ago when it made the cover of Time magazine) but the topic is really worthy of more thoughtful analysis by the writer (or by others).
This piece only lightly touches on the power of EQ (as it used to be called many years ago when it made the cover of Time magazine) but the topic is really worthy of more thoughtful analysis by the writer (or by others).
54
There's an old joke in politics where a candidate is told he must demonstrate sincerity and if he can fake that, he's home free.
3