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20/02/19 - 20/12/19 : through therapy treatment and medication, I went from crying myself to sleep every night to being excited for what the next day had to bring. It does get better. I promise.

Comments
Yayy!! I’m so happy for you! It’s always hard to believe it gets better until it actually does. Thank you for sticking with the battle
100%!! I remember thinking “yeah it might get better for other people but not for me- my life isn’t worth battling for”. It took a long while to overcome that mind frame and, honestly, I don’t remember the point where everything got better? I was just looking through my camera roll and thought damn, times have changed. :)
You yeeted this depression out of the window
Yote to no return
Congrats :) I defeated my depression this year too and it's never felt better to take in a breath of air in the morning!
Make 2020 yo bitch my friend ;)
Good for you! By the way, AWESOME smile and dimples.!
It’s braces I’ve got to thank for that haha
I'm happy for you. Keep it up!
I’ll definitely try! :)
I remember those days. I’m so glad you’ve found the other side of it!
Me too :) I hope your doing better also!
So happy for you 💓 I'm glad this new year got better for you and I hope it'll be the same for me :)
I hope so too! If you ever need someone to talk to about anything, my DMs are always open :)
This is so lovely to see and you have an adorable smile! Im currently in a similar situation and just started a new medication so this is a nice bit of hope 😊
Aww that warms my heart <3 I really hope you find the medication/treatment that works best for you! I can’t wait to see you on here making a post like this!! Stay hopeful :)
YAY. You are awesome! :D
I meannnnn I could be a complete ass twat but I’ll take what I can get so thank you :))
You look great with the shorter hair too!
Thank you!! I shaved it off in the summer because I wanted a fresh start, you know? and it really helped in my journey of self acceptance <3 plus it was soooo much easier to maintain haha (especially compared to my heavily straightened naturally curly hair in the first pic) If you look at my reddit history you’ll see some pics a short while after I shaved it - if you’re interested at all :)
dang that took you less then a year? legendd
Haha i wish!! definitely a long process of ups and downs- but these photos highlight the change well, I feel :) I was actually diagnosed with clinical depression & anxiety disorder in 2017, after my dad passed away in 2016. I was deeply suicidal and entirely disassociated since 2015 which is, to the highest extent, kinda sucky. But here I am :) It might take you 6 months or 6 years- but recovery is recovery <3
@op you have a beautiful smile... there's gonna be hard times but you're harder...may 2020 be a blessed year for you
Thank you so much :) that’s very sweet of you, I hope 2020 is wonderfully kind to you also !!
The medication helps, but the therapy takes it home. If you can afford it and are suffering please go
Genuinely, I think I would be dead by now if I didn’t live in the UK. And that’s by no means an exaggeration. The combination of medication and therapy saved my life, free health care saved my life. My house hold income is less than £8,000 a year. I could never have afforded the help I received if it wasn’t for the NHS nor would I have wanted to burden my family with the financial stress this would at.
I would have let myself die.
It breaks my heart that so many people aren’t born, at chance, in a country which offers this. Your life should never be behind a pay wall. But if it is, and you can afford to cross it, please please please do.
Sooo happy for u , may life bring u more joy stranger
Be proud of yourself thats not an easy task
Oh boy I know haha
Thanks for the little bit of extra hope today 👍🏻 Get it, girl! Make everyday full of life!
Boss ass lady so great to read
This is great inspiration for those of us closer to that first picture of you. keep it up, I’m happy for you!
I’m so glad! That’s really what I wanted this post to be- rather than just a karma grab or a self obsession show, I am really proud of how far I’ve come though, and I’d love to be able to help other people do the same. Im so happy that’s what people are able to see this post as- thanks for commenting :) I hope you’re able to make this decade your own <3
I'm glad you're doing well! The piercings look good!
❤❤❤❤❤
Your smile is contagious
Congratulations pretty! You are so loved!
YES! i’m so proud of you. i have a similar story—was suicidal and morose for years. got on medication and worked through my issues and now life is a good as can be. you’re an inspiration!
Unrelated but you're really really pretty ❤️
aww thank you!! Self confidence is something I’m definitely still working on but I’m gradually starting to like myself more :)
Beautiful
You have a really beautiful smile, glad you're happy; your eyes say it's genuine. :)
Lol nice lmao
Really needed this, thanks for making my day so much better than it is. 😭
Hey buddy, seems like you’re in a really rough place at the moment. Wanna chat about it? Feel free to send me a dm <3
Did you figure out the thing?
You are absolutly gorgeous!
I definitely felt unsure about posting this, mainly the rather unflattering first picture haha but I thought the message was really important :) but thank you!
Oh I love this♡
Beautiful smile!
Thank you! Smile and the world smiles with you :)
Congrats on the improvements
I remember you from when you brushed out your curls lol
Hahah that was a pretty crazy event. The post was reuploaded onto Instagram by a “relatable comedy” account (like everything seems to be smdh) and because of this, pretty much everyone in the school I was attending at the time (I’m at college now) found it. All eyes on me, students and teachers, for a solid few days. Very strange. But hey, at least I have a easy out for all those annoying “team work ice breaker fun fact about yourself” questions I suppose??
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What about if I enter a no smiling contest? help I’m divided
So happy for you!!!
I wish I could believe you
Classic karma Whoring. I'm crying boo boo lemme photograph it first
May I ask what happened? Kind of on the don’t care about life boat. Got blessed with a really good job that will allow me to buy a home... and was suppose to build a life with my ex and her daughter but she dumped me before the new year and now I’m just rolling day by day and don’t see me moving on and trusting anyone ever again. I’ve been keep my self isolated.
Out of curiosity what meds are you on?
Been on Welbutring 300 a day for like 6 weeks and had to stop due to headaches, now on effexor and urbanol..
I’m on sertraline ( 100 mg a day ) and I also take circadian ( 4 mg ) so I can sleep :) it’s worked really well for me so far, but I don’t think it would have if I wasn’t in therapy too?
Thank you for giving me hope. What would you say was the number one thing to focus on for you?
Ooh that’s a tough one. I’ll have to have a think before I respond- great question :)
Okay I have thought about this for a while and I think the best thing for me to focus on was the past. I know that might sound super juxtaposed to all the motivational ‘live in the moment’ or ‘think what the future may hold!” posts but here me out.
At the lowest point where you don’t think you’ll live to see the end of the week, it’s impossible to think about the future. You don’t care about life, you can’t imagine it without this dark cloud following you.
You’re too down to do anything at the moment. You feel like a failure when you can’t live in the present, you try to push yourself to do something their and then- even just a little thing- but it’s too much for you.
Both of these things really held me back, they made me feel like I was going no where.
But looking to the past was what helped me keep my head up. First of all, the past is entirely out of your control which takes sooo much pressure off you. Secondly, everything you’ve ever done is in the past- it’s an endless time capsule.
Reflecting on my past self really helped me put things in perspective. Think about what you had a panc attck over last month, or what you cried about a week ago. You likely can’t remember. And in a few weeks time, future you won’t remember the you now, either.
Think about what you couldnt do only a year or two ago, like leave the house without panicking or showering at least once every couple of weeks (or maybe that’s where you’re at now, that’s totally okay too- this is just an example).
And then realise where you are now, and see that you have survived all that- probably without even realising.
Of course things will also get worse, that’s just the way life goes unfortunately. But you can look at the small victory’s you’ve already learned, and know that you can and will do it again.
It’ll show you just how much time does heal wounds, and that on the days you’ve done nothing, just by letting time pass, you’ve done something amazing.
That’s what I focused on :)
I hope that helps!!
Ps sorry for such a slow reply, I really did reflect on this question
You rock!
Congratulations, I am happy, that you made it! =)
You looking like a snacc
Bitch I ain’t the snacc I’m the whole damn buffet