So what do you do after everything is done?
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I realise I’m pretty late to this party but you mentioned this post elsewhere and I’m so curious. It sounds like you’re trying so hard and taking on most of the responsibility. You say you’re having sex regularly but I don’t remember you saying you enjoy it... ? Do you enjoy it at all? Have you ever enjoyed it?
I mean, you described everything clearly. Not sure what advice you're expecting, because you have a clear understanding of the situation already. "You're tired" - "No I'm not" --"Yes you are". When you've reached the level where someone is telling you that you're tired when you aren't, what are we supposed to say? He either wants to fuck you, and can't, or he doesn't want to fuck you.
Same, we talk an talk an talk, make plans, even book hotels to get away, but wen it actually comes to any sort of intimacy there's always an excuse, we are at the point now where it's maybe once, twice a month but it's more of a kind of pity sex cos I've had to ask almost beg for nearly a month, it's almost as if she does the bare minimum so wen i bring it up she can say we had sex 2 weeks ago or something like that then it's straight to the it's not normal to want it that much at our age (we are only 33) it's getting to the point where I don't even want to ask anymore cos the rejection makes me feel like shit an just causes another argument, genuinely don't know wat to do? Didn't see my sex life being over at 33, I'm sorry your wanting advice not somebody in the same situation as you,
I feel like I have to clarify here. I am the LL.
I am committed to change, and I did change basically everything. Frequency, Quality, I wrote out above what I did.
Yet he, the supposed HL, doesn't support the change he asked for.
I always wonder why people expect things to change. Even if there is a temporary change it will eventually snap back to the mean and the cycle begins again. Have you ever wondered why some people are just unlucky? In reality luck has nothing to do with it. The bad choices you make affect the outcome. That being said you are in for a long hard miserable road ahead. So I agree with your partner , you are the problem. Sorry
English is my third language, so maybe I got you wrong.
I see that I caused the problem, absolutely. I should've just slept with him. I didn't. My bad.
The problem right now is that I did everything listed above. I didn't tell him I'd sleep with him, I did. It's ten months now. He's had sex twice a week and I didn't miss one single day in ten months.
He asked for change. I changed my behavior according to his specifications.
It's like he's afraid of the change he wanted in the first place.
So I think it's fair to say I caused the problem, but not that I still am the problem. I'm not the one dragging my feet about therapy, I'm not refusing to be an adult and hear criticism.
Wow, feel for you, kinda in that place too, except it's me that wants to end our dead bed not my wife, she has absolutely no interest in any intimacy, and it's me not her that's the problem, me wanting her 1-2 times a week is far too much and not normal apparently, I'm slowly getting to your point of wat to do wen you've done everything,
I'm asking myself if I missed something. Maybe there is something I didn't see.
He's talking to me plenty, we can both articulate ourselves quite well. But then it comes to actually doing what we talked about and that's where I am on my own.
Nope, not happening .