Wife Moved Out

So for those who have been following me I have an update. My wife of 6.5 years and her two kids moved out this weekend. It was a bit shocking to come home to a half-empty house. I admit I lost it a couple times. Even though she didn't treat me all that well I still have a big sense of loss and sadness. Sometimes I think I miss the life we had more than the actual person. Or at least the person I first met before things went sour a couple years ago.

You're not waiting for her answer, right (?) - since it's your fucking decision that matters.
Some fucking guys have it so easy and they have no motherfucking clue.
Fuck this faggot.
Sent you a PM Bb.
He misses his life... which means he’s scared of what tomorrow will bring.
He says she treats him like shit. OP needs to move on, lift, stfu, sidebar.
It’s normal to have emotions right now. But OP knows in his brain the right answer. He just wants us to confirm it.
Your last post said you told her that if she moved out, you were 100% done. She moved out.
She called his bluff and then upped the ante by telling him to not see anyone while she is gone. The kicker is she told him there is no ETA on the return. Her respect for the OP is in the negative numbers area. And the faggot wants to work it out?
OP.... What are you doing posting to a bunch of internet strangers instead of calling your lawyer with her new address to send the walking papers to.
In her BPD mind I forced her to move out because I said the $10,000 apartment cancellation fee was complete bullshit and she should have consequences for her actions.
Good call here.
When I take my branch away she'll likely fall straight to the ground.
Did I mention her mom has BPD too and has done this to a couple guys? Now she's in her 50s, alone, and miserable. Nobody wants to touch a crazy lady with a 10 foot pole.
You didn't ask a single question, but here's some feedback on what you said:
She'll only come back if she fails to find suitable branch to swing to. You're the backup.
Of course she doesn't want to lose her safety net.
Lurl. I hope you don't actually believe that. She's on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and Match right now, looking for an upgrade.
If you were smart, you'd hard-next her immediately and get to work on self-improvement. (You said "her kids", so I guess they have a different father, so you don't need to be involved anymore.)
There's nothing to salvage here. On the plus side, now you have a clean slate. Hit the sidebar and spend the next 2 years mastering RP theory and lifting your face off at the gym. After that, you'll wonder why you even cared about her in the first place.
Swiped yes on all #gigedygigedy
All very true.
I do feel a 37 year old post-wall BPD single mother will have a hard time finding someone better than me and will come crawling back. At which point it will probably be too late.
Someone had to make the hard decision.
You must be glad it wasn't you
In her mind I made the decision, which is interesting, and truly BPD.
Having looked at your post history, there is nothing to think about here.
How long does it take to drive to the lawyer's office? That's how long to wait.
I've already met with the 10 best in the area and have paperwork filled out for the one I picked.
Bro she moved out, wtf? Get a lawyer, send her papers, get to work on being a man. This is beyond beta faggotry. Congratulate yourself on your new freedom, block her number and begin your life. She will have her legs in the air for Chad before you read this comment.
I'm pretty sure she's going to flip when she gets the divorce papers. A key element of her BPD is fear of abandonment. She already went nuts when I told her I saw no future if she left.
Uh, she moved out?! Acta non verba
Beta orbiters will already be hitting her up when they notice you're pics aren't in her gallery and relationship status disappears. Just in case no other teams start calling her in while she is now a "restricted free agent", she wants to be able to resign, get her old locker, and keep the number on the jersey.
I don't know about you, but I hardly tolerate complaints from my wife and we share a bed and have sex on the regular. I wouldn't be hearing anything she says if she moved out of my bedroom, let alone the house. You need to behave as if you are moving on even if you still are a oneitis-simp at heart still.
Just going to cut to the chase, is your third child yours from another relationship or one you have together? If it's not a child you have in common, you need to move on and don't look back. You broke down a couple times already, know this; she knew it would hurt, she could have taken other steps, she did it anyway, and she doesn't care.
Go to the gym. Full body movements. Bench press, squat, dead-lift, rows, over head press, chest flys, curls, and crunches like your life depends on it. This is all your fault, so get mad at yourself and abuse your body with lots and lots of iron while doing audio books at the same time from the sidebar. Break off the rear view mirror and stop looking back. Become the kind of man she sees in 6 months and gets sick to her stomach for walking out and replace her with someone fun, refreshing, submissive, and hot.
Good point on the complaints.
We have no kids in common. I had a daughter from a girlfriend prior to this marriage. You are right she doesn't care...or she wouldn't have done this. I keep saying it over to myself. Why would I want to take back such a person?
I hit the gym to lift 2-3 times a week but I'll probably increase it now that I have more times.
I like the sound of fun, refreshing, submissive, and hot!
She's not doing the same. She's trying to branch swing to a better branch. She's going to see if there are better guys than you who will fuck her and give her money. If she can't find anyone else, she'll be back.
It's time for you to move on. What are your hobbies, the ones you've put on hold all these years, because you were spending time with her? Go do those.
Shooting, hunting, camping, building shit, snowmobiling, motorcycling...tons of stuff I can spend more time on now.
Hahahahaha. She “asked you not to see other women and she’s doing the same”
I do actually believe her on this, at least right now. She has major self-confidence issues and doesn't want anyone to see her naked because of stretch-marks and surgery scars. Her two kids did a number on her.
Don't believe her when she says she's not seeing someone else. I would bet with an extremely high probability that's she's full of shit.
I'll say what I think I said to you before.... "VALUE YOURSELF!!"
There are tons and tons of really nice, hot, available women out there that, trust me, you'd be compatible with and like. Look, I get you're mourning a loss. That's fine. We all get that. If you're not ready to date yet, that's fine too. For what it's worth, you'd most likely be better off moving on and going and getting what you want.
What better way to get over a woman than getting on top of another one?
Have some pride. Moving out, to me at least, is a red line in the sand. If she doesn't care enough to stay to try and fix things, dump her and move on. It stings, I'm sure, but you don't have kids together. You don't owe her anything. Take the opportunity you've been presented with and improve yourself and get a much higher quality woman than a single mother of two.
I have to agree with you on this. One of my requirements it to be actually living with my fucking wife.
Waiting is waist of time. I know it's tough, but be tougher. Remember you're the man, who hold on the rein of the relationship. She moved out and now you gotta take over. Be decisive, I know it's easier to say than done, but don't wait. Either take her back or start the divorce. Not to say you should seek a lawyer now, but put with pen and paper what is yours and what's hers and find your exit plan with lowest alimony possible. Or call a marriage council. I don't know, I don't have feelings for her, you do. Do something
I have consulted lawyers and have a plan of action in that regard.
I'm typically an observer, but you've been granted an opportunity many men dream about.
A "do-over".
So consider this...
Disclaimor: Subject to local law, your mileage will vary, consult your lawyer, yada, etc.
And don't forget to mention you understand "the need for space" and express your "desire to visit the kids at her/your parents house, every other weekend".
Choose wisely...
I seriously considered buying a new house and renting out the current one but buying another house during a divorce is frowned upon.
Let me translate this for you...
"You stay and pine for me while I get railed by other men. Don't forget to send me all your hard earned each week, to support me and kids who aren't even yours, you fucking loser."
I completely cut her off financially the moment she left. When she asks for money the answer will be no.
Been following these trainwreck posts since the start, get a grip man. In your previous post you said if she moves out you are 100% done, you set the boundaries, she crossed them, now enforce them. Don’t tolerate this kind of behavior and stop disrespecting yourself like this. I can imagine how hard it is and the sense of loss must be crippling, but the situation won’t improve by prolonging the inevitable.
This is very true.
I'm lifting, staying busy with martial arts, etc. and prepping. Stay busy and figure out what you want.
Nothing new man. We’ve all gone through it, to some extent. In a little time you won’t miss her or the life. In a little more time, it will all only be a memory.
This is what I'm hoping for. The beginning sucks.
She wants space... she wants new dick while stringing you along as plan B in case it doesn't work out for her. Accept that she's fucking other dudes, I've just had to do the same. You can dwell on it and feel like shit, or better yourself and find some strange to fuck. When chad has pumped and dumped her and she realises she's fucked up, she will probably come crawling back. I shouldn't need to tell you what to do at this point. This is your opportunity for freedom. What will you do?
I probably wouldn't take her back anyways but I would absolutely never take her back if she fucked someone.
My man, she made the decision for you already. She moved out.
She's not going to want you to see other people because she's going to find someone. When she does, she will tell you it's ok and time to move on for yourself. If she doesn't find anyone, she will come back after she can't find better (two kids? She's not going to find any alpha out there) and she will come back only then and you will always know that you were just the fall back to guy. She's off looking for better.
Take this time to reflect. Find out where you fucked up with manhood, and make those changes and find a girl that will have the hots for you and this old girl will have to live with how she is the one that screwed it all up.
File for divorce tomorrow. Start taking charge of this now.
I kind of want her to live her whole life wishing she wouldn't have left while I'm banging my new 25 hear old hottie.
This is it exactly. I pretty much felt used the whole time. I paid for everything and just got shit on in the end.
It's just grief. It'll pass. You're not grieving her, per se, It's the sense of loss from the conclusion of a relationship and person that provided meaning in your life.
It's very normal to feel sad when something bad is over. And is not, I repeat NOT, a sign that you should get back together. Read up on the grief cycle and learn from this and pay close attention to the feelings that you have. When it's all over you'll actually feel very good for having experienced it and you'll be stronger next time.
You are right it is grief. And not even grieving the person so much as the time wasted and the life we had. If i could waive a magic wand and replace her with someone else I would in a heartbeat.
I'm a big believe in that which doesn't kill me makes me stronger.
She doesn’t want to lose me and asked me not to see other people and she will do the same
Even though this is in womanese I’ve translated it for you.
Translation: I’m going to/I’m already fucking other people. Your not allowed.
At this point I dont want to think about her fucking other people but I know that will pass in time.
Well, OP, what are you going to do about this?
Find a new chick and tell the ex to fuck off.
If I had known then what I know now I would not have wifed up an older single mother with two kids, BPD, doesn't want to work, and a crazy ex-husband.
What are you possibly waiting for? She’s BPD, she’s got kids from another man that we all know you’ve financed, she’s actively looking for a better man, and holding you as emergency back up if it doesn’t pan out. Oh, and she called you on your bluff, which it obviously was because you haven’t started divorce yet.
What the hells so special about you? Seems you’re the one who’s afraid you can’t do any better.
I do think deep down I have an irrational fear that I can't find someone as hot, smart, and nice. I know that is wrong but I still believe it. I guess time and tinder will fix that.
Move on and start improving yourself. She's a gonner!!!
That's the plan.
Before I reply, do you have any kind of religious or moral background?
At the end of the day this really only comes down to one thing: how much love and respect do you have for yourself?
Don’t worry about the relationship. The kids. Her. Think about what kind of person you are when you let someone, anyone, walk all over you and treat you like shit.
Where is your love? Respect? Confidence? Right now you have a choice to gain all those things for yourself by not letting someone steamroll you.
Or you can play the nice guy. The pushover, like you have all your life.
I don’t think anyone can say anything to actually inspire this guy...
Just about everything said so far has been inspiring.
Get a new girl
Silence is golden. You seem to suffer from classic “analysis paralysis”. It seems best to get some space & shut the hamster circus down. When you feel clear, write down what your objective mind tells you to do and refer to this “contract” every time you get in you or your ex’s feelz. My .02
Great advice here.
Man I am sorry for your loss. /s
How long does it take you to drive to your lawyers?
Haha, 15 minutes.
What are you waiting for? You could have an attorney and the process already in motion. Wtf are you waiting for?
Getting on it asap.
First understand that there's an 87% chance she's already dealing with someone else. That may help.
After that, focus on yourself doing what you like to do and go to the gym.
File for divorce. Shes literally shopping for cock while you sit around with your dick in your hand.