Guess who got a 5 day ban from MIL?

THIS GUY! Turns out just asking the OP whose MIL was hospitalized if they knew her diagnoses is considered “armchair diagnosing.”

Seriously? You always come across as so compassionate and level-headed in your advice (and doing so without dropping links to your obnoxious DIY video series, ahem). I'm sorry you're here but glad you have somewhere to come talk about it. After reading on removeddit, it's obvious they punished you because OP armchair diagnosed (and I'd argue not really armchair at all as she has some experience in the field and actually interacts with the person IRL) and they couldn't or wouldn't scold her for it. OP Comes First and all. Funny that's considered ableist, but the constant ableism and misogyny of "bitch is crazy" comments are just dandy by community standards.
I have lurked for years now and the fact that YOU of all people got banned is a sign that things are truly dead and done over there.
You have always been a very strong and wise voice and I hope you make your way over to
"Swiggy is wise, listen to Swiggy" was a catchphrase for aaaaages for a reason.
Their loss, Swiggy. Sorry.
I am flattered. Thank you.
My first move:
Definitely confusing why you got banned.
That was a productive conversation, although it veered a bit off topic (in a way I'm interested in). A ban for that is totally ridiculous.
Well done! Thanks for posting this.
Yup! Confused as heck!
What the french, toast?
That is a delightful expression!
Welcome? Justnomil is just an echo chamber now. At this point a poster could say they are writing a fan fiction and the mods would ban people for truth policing >_>
The hell? I think someone had it in for you, Swiggy.
For some reason, when people dislike me they really go full tilt boogie with it when they do.
Wow. That is totally insane.
I've been lurking for years and I've only ever seen good, wise advice from you.
Swiggy is wise.
They banned YOU?
If I had truly broken the rules, I would expect it. OG status doesn't mean anyone is above being banned. However, I didn't do what I was told I did and when i messaged the mods asking about this, no response.
I don't understand. It doesn't seem the OP is the least bit offended your question/comments so not sure why anyone else would be.
It's bizarre. I did not say, "Your MIL must have X diagnosis" or even "Does your MIL have X diagnosis?" I simply asked if they knew as the MIL had been to the doctor. Frankly, I think knowing that info is vital as advice can differ if someone has, say, BPD vs. schizoaffective. So the question seemed valid as it was asked in reflection of the statement OP made.
They weren't. They even replied to me saying that they did not know the diagnosis but were a forensic psych themselves and said they couldn't guess as it would be unprofessional.
My thoughts exactly. OP was engaged in the conversation with no ill will shown. What a shame that the sub has changed so much.
Whaaaat??? Nooooo!! JustNoMil is not what it was 3-4 years ago. It’s grown up to be a ghost of what it was intended. Swiggy banned and my 1st post in 3 years to comment on it.
No, I do not comment any longer cause the mods are ..... (fill in the blank).
I feel like a stalker over there. I'll read some posts, but it's so awful to feel like by trying to help someone that you're a problem!
It blows my mind that you of all people got banned. I seek out your suggestions on posts that feel similar to what I have gone through. Wow...
wait... but.. Swiggy is WISE!! Swiggy can't be banned! You are always one of the few people we KNOW we can count on to give solid good support and information. You and Flying Pig are always my constant stabilizers...
Do you think you'll consider giving your wise support in Talk sometimes? We need people like you.
Thank you for your kindness. What is Talk? Is that the chat feature?
Wait, are we no longer allowed to ask questions over there? What is going on with that sub?!?!!
I’m so sorry you were banned. It’s pretty ridiculous, honestly. Your always so kind (and wise!) to posters. Wear your ban as a badge, even though you didn’t deserve it. “HUGS”!!
Swiggy! Wtf? You of all people to be banned. I’m floored. And .. yeah, armchair diagnosis from a forensic psychologist who happens to know the subject pretty well. Shows that the mod didn’t actually read the comments.
Meh. I got a permanent ban a while back for making a comment about how bizarre it was that so many posters kept coming up pregnant unexpectedly with twins.
I have thought of you SO MANY times since the last explosion that led to the creation of this sub. Because I witnessed you getting your hand slapped by another mod not long before that and was shocked. I honestly don't remember the exact details, but my memory is that the mod condemning a comment of yours for Mil-pologizing (although it may have been a different rule break) and you very respectfully asked for clarification. I remember this because I was reading all the other comments exasperated that people were just not seeing what I thought I saw, then your comment came up and I was so glad as it was on the nose, and then I saw the hand-slap, read your account name and was just stunned. You walked away from that, at least publicly, very graciously. It stuck with me because I remember thinking you were so right and that other mod was so wrong.
I've actually thought of that moment, because when people talk about when they started giving up in that sub, that's what I think of. And I've thought about sharing this here, but didn't want to drag you into it. Especially since it was so long ago and I have no idea if I could find it to link. You've been such a steady and reasonable presence there for so long. No one's perfect, of course, even the Wise Swiggy. I'm not saying I've always agreed with you (I probably have but I don't remember everything so let's just avoid absolutes) but you've always participated in good faith, nuance, care and consistency. And given some damn great advice.
Sorry this has happened. I hope you find some peace, whatever happens next. Just know there is at least one marriage you have helped heal, with your well-spoken and spot-on advice.
Wait? The most helpful and one of the few with genuine advice gets banned? Wow, just wow.
Thank you for being kind. It is appreciated.
No wonder that sub is a shitshow. The moderating seems more directed at curating preferred content than actually trying to help anyone.
I'll tell you truthfully that I really, truly want to help people. Even if it's just some smartass words to make someone laugh. The fact that I don't feel I can safely contribute any longer is a bummer.
YOU caught a ban?!?! What the hell is going on over there??
And for asking a question. I did not diagnose anyone. That is what gets me.
So I know I've been tagged and people have mentioned me over there...lif you happen to see it, let them know I can't contact them.
WTF? You got banned Swiggy? What the hecking fork?
So basically the OP might have been armchair diagnosing so when you asked if she knew of any official diagnosis or not it then became your fault and you got banned for it? So like the op comes first rule is considered so important now random commenters get banned for the op's possible rule violations? Like I can maybe understand deleting the comment thread and the responses but what the actual fuck is going on in their heads over there?
If you read the whole thread, the OP did not even diagnose their MIL but shared their professional observations of other members of that family, as well as an anecdote by an aunt. So okay, maybe skirting the line but still. How I got penalized for asking is baffling to me still.
You're one of the last people they need to be discouraging. Good grief.
Those mods are abusive little shits that prey on vulnerable groups of people. Just terrible human beings.
That is rich.
Indeed, it is.
I was gonna go with "batshit insane."
What the actual bullshit is this??
I quickly started reading this post and comments, then realized it was you!? but you’re amazing! You’ve helped so many people, me included, even though I haven’t posted. That just makes me sad.
Swiggy - you are the best - please don’t disappear- many people need your wise counsel!
Important question: did you ever comment here at Truth prior to receiving the ban?
I got a 4-day ban last week for noting that an OP may be hurting an animal.
I didn't even know it existed until this morning.
Sorry you got banned, too. How arbitrary.
Prepping for Halloween!
Welcome to the club? Congradolences!? Seriously tho that sucks. I think they like to ban people who have some influence/a good reputation/are very insightful but not manipulatable by the mods. Ina very twisted way, this is a compliment then. One I'm sure you could do without.
That is what happened last time. A mod now gone gunned for me. Now another one. It seems having a stalwart presence is a mixed bag.
You said it well.
I'm sorry, WHAT?? That really doesn't make sense anymore!
Editing to include a link to the comment that got me banned.
Did hell freeze over? Holy shit I can’t believe they did that!
All good times end eventually.
Sorry, Swiggy. I have mostly abandoned ship over there myself, after I got a short temp ban around the modgate 1.0 time over basically nothing, without any chance to reword my comment or remediate in any way, and the comment did not deserve a ban, imo. The rules are applied so inconsistently that it’s hard to figure out what you can and cannot say, and sometimes you can’t say exactly the thing you NEED to say to be able to give any kind of decent, real-world applicable advice. Over the past year, the inconsistent rule application and the seemingly random bans (one thing will get you a ban one day, the next day it won’t— and they don’t give you a warning or a chance to change it) made figuring out how to word my comments over there a frustrating experience. The only response we know is “safe” is just validating the OP, which isn’t really advice now, is it?
I think another factor at play is that the sub has experienced a generational shift with this massive influx of subs, and there is a younger, more drama hungry crowd over there that seems to be less interested in seeing the nuances and embracing real, practical advice (that requires work and self awareness) and more interested in just salting the ground so they never have to talk to the offending party ever again.
I have been hanging out in Talk, as well. It’s small, but it’s a lot more homey, the people that come there really want GOOD advice and not just to ride the drama train, and I occasionally comment over on JNMil on those few posts that don’t look to me to be drama farming and could use a reasonable bit of advice from a different POV. Hope to see you in the comment section over there!
Ffs. I think, here, and for this, my little clay friend would be justified in coming out of retirement. Someone over there needs help with reading comprehension.
It was just a load of malarkey. If the rules were, "Do not in any way comment on or inquire about someone's mental health," then okay, I'd have broken the rules. It may feel pedantic of me but if they can arbitrarily swing the ban hammer then I think a strict application of rules is called for, and that means pedantry.
It was just a load of malarkey. If the rules were, "Do not in any way comment on or inquire about someone's mental health," then okay, I'd have broken the rules. It may feel pedantic of me but if they can arbitrarily swing the ban hammer then I think a strict application of rules is called for, and that means pedantry.
It was just a load of malarkey. If the rules were, "Do not in any way comment on or inquire about someone's mental health," then okay, I'd have broken the rules. It may feel pedantic of me but if they can arbitrarily swing the ban hammer then I think a strict application of rules is called for, and that means pedantry.
This seems like an appropriate time to say that my husband advised me upon waking that the band Peaches and Herb would be assumed as a not-so-oblique reference to ass and weed if it existed today because WHAT EVEN IS HAPPENING IN THIS ROD SERLING WORLD. The instructions were clear: Listen. To. Swiggy.
You're not supposed to direct link to other people's posts, even if it's to your comment. You should use removeeddit (or something similar), which would be helpful anyway since your comment was deleted:
That being said, that's a weird thing to get banned for.
Deleted! Thanks.
Oh my goodness, this was such an innocuous question by Swiggy!
Guy? I always assumed you are female.
Well, yes but no. I was born with a vagina but I feel more like an anthropomorphic unicorn.
I aim to impress!