DfD Discussion Thread, December 09, 2019

Shitposts, blogposts, and hot takes go here.

tfw waking to rain sounds 😃
Tfw realising you’re going to have to bike through that rain 😒
Well I slept something like 6-7 hours so I'm up now
😴🔥 -> 🔥🔥😴🔥🔥 -> 🔥🔥🔥🔥😱🔥🔥🔥🔥
lmao, I just wrote a longform volcel post which basically amounts to being a virgin isn't all bad, which it isn't. Anyway, happiness comes from videogames!
Better, but your no Sancho.
Also, sex has never made anyone happy. And you’re lucky if it hasnt hurt you
Legit glad to be single when I think about the women who’ve been willing date me 🤢
George Costanza irl
damn that's real 😂
lmao, I just wrote a longform vocel post which basically amounts to being single isn't all bad, which it isn't. Anyway, happiness comes from within!
Will Gabbard or Yang get one more qualifying poll before Thursday?
Gabbard has already announced she's not going to go to the December debate whether or not she qualifies
I shall ride with
I shall ride with
I shall ride with Joseph
I have some zits under my beard and I am psychologically bothered by them. But they are invisible to the world. Yet I wish to pop them
Frequently the juiciest zits
I feel that lmao. that's how I was when I rocked a beard eons ago. secret zits are always hidden away. lurking there unbeknownst to society 😂
eldritch evil ass shit
Likewise, the star trek episode of black mirror was kinda sad. Computer programs aren't people.
They are if they’re not distinguisable
There's a star trek episode of black mirror? I'd watch that.
Ted Cruz
Do college kids really feel uncomfortable going grocery shopping by themselves?
I swear, the more I see things like this the more I have to wonder if despite being what I thought was comfortably middle/lower middle class, actually secretly grew up in some kind of poverty I didn't know about.
I never had any trouble grocery shopping and can't think of any of my friends who did. However, don't let this distract you from the fact that in 2008, Pete Buttigieg fixed the price of bread in grocery stores in Southern Ontario
So has Australia been completely replaced by fire or just mostly replaced by fire
The joke is that you think he's going to give the homeless guy a paltry amount of money but really he steals from the homeless guy, implying he has a negative net worth because he's in debt
I guess there's also the self-deprecating joke that his net worth is negative. Not really that funny either though tbh
Also wonder about holosuites and consent.
Like there's one episode where this guy is making women crewmembers in his holosuite programs, and then saving them from male crewmembers that intimidate him, and then he makes out/presumably sleeps with the women crewmembers. So first of all, star trek invented incels, and secondly this comes to light because this dude gets addicted to the holosuites and starts bailing on his duties. But when everyone finds out what he's doing in there, the women are freaked a bit but also "well holosuites are very private and we were never supposed to know".
Like no that crosses a line!
And that DS9 episode where some guy wants holosuite porn of Kira? Like, shouldn't that be grounds at least for getting him thrown off the station?
Also his name is Reginald Barclay lol
I want to be clear here, this isn't a hill I am going to die on. But to play the devils advocate here for the sake of the shitpost, is that that much different than beating it to the image of a woman in your head? As long as it's private, what's the problem?
If Hillary Clinton was so good, how come there hasn't been a Hillary Clinton 2? Checkmate, libs.
Her name is Chelsea and she's fantastic
The most wholesome reddit experience is going to the subreddit for a game or TV show you just finished and binging 3+ years of accumulated memes without having to worry about spoilers
Does being a master of the katana make you a sex god or
Honestly a lot of ugly consent issues given weebs seduction abilities, maybe a good thing they're involuntarily celibate
I was gonna do weebs too, but I didn't want to steal
Oh are we doing thirst posting?
My boyfriend is so sexy it hurts.
This but my gf
Does being a master of videogames make you a sexism god or
Honestly a lot of ugly sexist issues given gamers misogyny abilities, maybe a good thing they're involuntarily celibate
I don’t think I had celeb crushes. Not sure if Ace or depressed.
this is peak dfd
smh dating
Does being a master of the force make you a sex god or
Honestly a lot of ugly consent issues given jedis mind control abilities, maybe a good thing they're celibate
I hear orgasms sap the midiclorians
Ehhh Kylo reads my Literotica "Mind Control" folder. He knows. He won't go too far
What about two jedis who want to date? That would fix the power imbalance if they're both similarly ranked and well-trained, at least
R-rated Harry Potter gets pretty dark too
damn that got real
wow. I love that sub! great memes! almost as good as the posts on
another fake subreddit 🥱
so just
I'm not falling for this again
The ugly underbelly to thirstposting: desperation and depression.
Oh and the straights are talking about Emma Watson making 🅿️🅿️ hard
How bout them rams tho 🤙
Where you been
I had a very big crush on Emma Watson for a very long time.
I have enjoyed eating pepperoni pizza for a very long time.
I can't decide if Adam Driver is good-looking or not
Very beefy
Not to me. He looks kinda strange.
Yes, he is.
I've got some fan fiction for Blackkklansman where Adam, John David Washington, and I have sexy adventures
He's a real Benedict cumberbatch
Anyway seeing him masturbate in girls means it's weird seeing him so
Yeah I'd say so, just not in the "standard" Hollywood male model sense
I’ve been on four first dates in my life and three of them produced year+ long relationships.
Quit flexing 😡😡😡😡
Ok well clearly I need to read your book. Although that is a lot of pressure from a first date...
Meanwhile in all but one of the times I've mutually agreed to go on a date with someone, the plans fell through or I got ghosted. Though one case is currently TBD.
Well done!
Ngl my posture gets worse when I'm around people shorter than me (and vice versa)
Unicycle shot in tinder pictures? Yes or no
Yuck, you let the sauce sit out too long.
I know this is EO pasta but I would 100% swipe right on someone whose first picture was them on a unicycle.
Only if you're wearing your red nose and juggling
My first/last date stories are all boring:
3 is a strange thing to do if you're not into the other person. Surprised that didn't lead anywhere
Surprisingly enough I don't have any bad first or last date stories but I do have quite a few weird first date stories
Let's hear a couple
It’s honestly a miracle DC has done so well with Wonder Woman while bungling mostly every other movie and all their characters. Even now they still don’t know what they’re doing with anything non-WW, when you compare the trailer for WW 1984 to Birds of Prey, you can see a pretty massive disparity in style and quality IMO.
I’m still holding out hope that Henry Cavill can salvage a good Man of Steel 2, but hopes are pretty low for that even happening and for The Batman to be decent.
It's just the power of gal gadot
If you Google self-coupled you'll get some stuff about Emma Watson and a lot of stuff about lasers
Both are very cool 😎
He what
this is true chad energy
I've got too many bad first/last date stories to choose from:
There's a few more but it would take a lot longer to explain
The only one I feel sorry for is the nervous guy but jesus fck
This killed me cus on my parents' first date my dad took my mom to the only Japanese place in Coös County (there was no BK) and forgot his wallet.
Second date he took her to a drive-in theatre to watch Caddyshack, which he loved and couldn't stop watching while I'm pretty sure my mom was... thinking something else would happen. She still hates that movie.
It's a miracle any of us exist at all, but in my case I think it's fair to say my chances were more slim than others because of my dad being a spaz. I'm sad I inherited that.
Holy shit. I don’t think I could ever mentally recover from being in more than like two of these so painfully awkward situations
where are you finding these specimens
omfg no no no no no no no no no. that shit is too much. how the fuck did you mentally survive this shit
I refuse to believe such vile people exist
I mean it's almost a complement
A lot of this is pretty upsetting. Im glad your ok, Jesus.
wow suddenly I feel much better about the dates I've "ruined"
I mean at least this one wasn't really his fault lmao
But wow, these all range from weird to downright horrifying
virgin extinction rebellion vs chad citizens climate lobby
Remember when half the intellectual conservative movement decided to team up with Trump to institute a theocracy because one writer was triggered by an ad for a drag queen reading in a city he didn't even live in
Everyone post a number between 1 and 100
Lmao this couple is Bernie/Yang
It's kind of weird to define things strictly by decade sometimes because the Trump era would hypothetically last for two half decades (2015-2025).
It's fun to think about when the 2010s (meaning a particular narrative we call the decade began), but what's also fun is the more speculative project of trying to figure out what going on now could later be called the "beginning of the end of the 2010s. Of course, that depends on knowing the future. But, gaming out a few different narratives of how this "decade"/narrative could end, some candidates - from my Western-centric perspective - could be:
-The collapse in the valuations of Uber after its IPO and of WeWork after its failed attempt at an IPO (deflation of the unicorn bubble).
-Some qualified but meaningful failures for the decade's strongmen that could signal the beginning of the end of their careers: Orban losing the Budapest mayoral election; Erdogan losing Istanbul's mayoralty even after a rerun (as well as Turkey's other large cities), and Netanyahu's indictment. There's also the fall of far-right junior coalition/external support partners in Denmark and Austria, even as those countries' politics have been mutated permanently.
-The potential end of the two-party consensus around the Schwarze Null in Germany with the surprise election of a left-wing duo to lead the SPD. Even if you're as skeptical as I am that they will revive that party's electoral fortunes, it signals an end - at least symbolically - to a limitation of German political possibility that has paralyzed the EU.
-Hong Kong protests.
-2018 US Midterm elections.
On my first date with my gf, we both got diarrhea in a church.
Pete dabbing on Loblaw truthers, 2019
Very glad I've never had to play the dating app game.
May I never have to.
Srry I had to. KAHC
Pete still hasn't revealed which grocery store he consulted as part of turning them into a money laundering front for the mafia
One of them is almost certainly loblaws. Aka the Canadian chain that owns all the grocery stores.
Think it's the only chain hqed in Toronto that could afford mckinsey
Sitting next to a couple having a nice first date
Way more boring than sitting next to a couple having a bad first date
Sounds like a good time to enlighten them about baby bonds.
Join them and have a rousing conversation. I'm sure they'll appreciate it 😊
Wealth tax on companionship when?
I miss playing Halo 3 custom games
Remember grifball?? Good times.
I was two weeks ago old when I learned Jane Lynch is an actual human and not a character Ellen Degeneris plays on TV.
Am about to send someone an annoying email 😡😡😡
But how will you sign off?
How about this: instead of saying my actual height, what if i went with something like “I promise you’ll be able to wear heels”?
That somehow seems even more egotistical lol
I'd just use a picture of you with someone. Gets the point across. Also heels seem pretty terrible.
This day is going soooooo slow. 😒
Texas really is toxic masculinity crystalized
I bet this dude calls Greta the crazy one
what is the 2 litres thing lol
This ex will NOT be donating to your senate run
That EU license plate 😂
Can't believe there are euros who larp as texans
Yo can you help me out with predictit stuff, I wanna buy shares on Bernie losing Iowa.
What specifically would you like help with? If you want to bet on him losing you only have to select the No side of his bracket and make a buy order at 68/share
Motorcycle shot in tinder pictures? Yes or no
I’m gonna hire someone to talk other pics too. Should be easy to do in LA.
I took a bunch of photos on my hiking trip and at the destination wedding I went to a few months ago
of course
Yes but only if you're on it
Only if you're wearing your leather jacket and some aviators
Calling me a mayo makes you as racist as a slaveholder
When black people get profiled, they can get shot
When whitey gets profiled, he gets, like, totally bummed out, man
"equally racist" lmao
I do think there's a small handful of people who bully white people to the point that it's not okay, but it's just not the same as systemic and institutional racism.
The talent show at the party started off on a high note, with a group of people doing interpretive dance to Enya that entailed wearing bed sheet togas and spitting water on each other, followed by two people loudly playing along to christmas music on squeaky out of tune recorders, but got progressively less absurd as the night went on
You didn't tell me you were visiting Boulder I feel betrayed
One bizarre niche trend of 2019 was the astrology/healing crystals crowd suddenly discovering tea with milk and acting like it's mythical moon tea that will align your chakras or some shit despite the fact that British people have been drinking that nonsense for centuries and are literally the least zen nation on the planet
I hate OT rules and I hate sad losing career record Eli
Ngl I actually don't mind kids like
Speaking of high school, here are some DfD superlatives:
Reply to this and I'll think of one for you
I am scared
I'm easy.
oh god
why not
I actually have a ham radio license
RIP me
I do have to plug
Just found out people unironically enjoyed star wars 8
I think people who hate 8 are objectively wrong AMA
But Kylo is thicc
It was ok.
If you just cut the whole Finn/whatsername casino-heist B plot it would be a solidly mid-tier Star Wars movie.
Knob Creek 😋
This is pretty good
A lot of the ones about women can get aggressive to the point of being sexist
My opinion of Biden would creep up very slightly if he spent less time saying variations of "____, man"
Am gonna play Bioshock New Game Plus
lol, I'm up by literally 0.3 points in my main fantasy league, my opponent has Jake Elliott and Miles Sanders
I need Eli to drive down and win the game, either now or in overtime
I was curious about my grade, middle, and high schools and how they've changed since I left them so I did some googling.
I noticed that my grade school has a lot more extracurriculars now. On one hand, it's great that students have more activities and can be exposed to a wider range of things. But at the same time, part of me fears that hypercompetitive nonsense is creeping into younger and younger ages. Gardening club and Spanish club aren't exactly "hypercompetitive," but if we end up teaching resume padding to Fifth Graders, we took a wrong turn.
I also noticed that there are a lot more STEM extracurriculars in my HS now. A big part of why I never did extracurriculars (other than scouts) during those years was a lack of activities I was interested in, but if there were more STEMlord ones to choose from, I probably would have taken part more.
Everyone wants to be a Bill Clinton, but really everyone is an Al Gore
Wtf is going on in Michigan?
When in doubt, blame Rick Snyder.
What did we all mean by this on 11/08/2016
Buttigieg has made me understand that millennials deserve the hate they get
Nevada and Arkansas have almost exactly the same population. Nevada is more populous by right around twenty one thousand people.
29.5% of Nevadans suffer from obesity, compared to 37.1% of Arkansans.
Thus, my question: Is the total mass of all Nevadans greater or less than the total mass of all Arkansans?
Probably less. 21,000 is only ~0.7% of 3,034,392, the total population of NV, if my math is right, meaning even though NV has more people those people aren't enough to make up for the difference in obesity rates. I'm leaving that as a probably, though, because NV might have a higher rate of being overweight-but-not-obese, I don't know
tfw my middle school was named after a republican
What was the name of your middle school?
You’re a damn liar, man
“I watch TV all day”
“Yeah I know you do”
I like this Joe tbh