I believe many men are abusive and degrading to women. I believe that there are many abusers hiding in plain site. I think Me Too has been enormously helpful in insuring women's rights and safety in the work place. On the other hand, women have choices to make. I worked as a journalist starting in the 1980s and would not have had an affair with a married man or gone to a coworker's hotel room at night. What about Lauer's wife? Did anyone think of her?
71
Did Lauer think of his wife, you mean?
38
@Theresa Wait, are you saying that this woman is not really a victim because she had an affair with a married man and/or she made a poor professional decision? Rape is a crime, whether or not the victim has morals that don't play well (but aren't illegal), or makes a poor choice about whose room to visit at what time. I don't know the details and am not deciding the case. I'm just saying nothing you say has any bearing on whether Lauer is guilty or not. Of course, anyone would feel terrible for Lauer's wife -- who would want to be married to a serial cheater? Ugh. Not me! I've actually though of, and felt much pity, for Lauer's wife, who of course deserves none of this. But her suffering has absolutely nothing to do with whether Nevils was raped or not, nor does it nullify Nevils' right to seek justice if she was, in fact, raped.
33
@Maggie
What responsibility does this woman have for her own actions? None? She had "more sexual encounters" with Lauer in NYC, after the rape? I think there are situations in life in which you decide that the price of keeping a given job is too high. The idea that one does not have a choice is ridiculous. I believe abused women get caught in self-destructive situations. I get it. But yes, I believe women who sleep with married men morally responsible for hurting other women and their children. I think when you decide a job is more important than your dignity, you need to deal with that. We are not talking about a starving mom feeding her kids by working for an abusive boss at Walmart. This is an educated woman with choices. So he is the abuser and it's a sexist system. But women have to protect their own dignity and not play into this sick system.
42
Does anyone truly believe that no one in the NBC leadership hierarchy was aware if Lauer's sexual exploits? I do not.
396
@Mark
Someone at NBC knew.. which means leadership either also knew or should be fired for incompetence.
26
@Mark So you're more outraged about whether someone at NBC knew than whether law enforcement knew?
3
@Mark NBC has neither the jurisdiction nor expertise to investigate violent crimes. That is the province of law enforcement; which, to this day, Ms. Nevils apparently failed to notify. Please stop equating rape with water cooler sexual harassment.
8
I'm very troubled by the following paragraph in this otherwise solid story: -- "Mr. Lauer became part of an ignominious cohort of media figures felled by sexual misconduct allegations in 2017 and 2018, a group that included Mr. Weinstein, the CBS anchor Charlie Rose and the CBS chairman and president Leslie Moonves."
Why are we failing to mention Bill O'Reilly and Roger Ailes of Fox News? Why do the reporters only mention prominent figures often grouped as part of the liberal media establishment: Lauer, Weinstein, Rose and Moonves. Bill O'Reilly and Roger Ailes were media figures of comparable power on the right, and they were equally guilty of using their positions in exchange for sexual favors??
Has #metoo become mainly an issue of addressing the guilt of the media establishment (which leans left), or shall we instead lay blame where it belongs, across the political spectrum, and point out powerful men -- regardless of their political leanings -- who take advantage of their power and influence in exchange for sexual favors.
8
Matt seemed to be enjoying his "outraged response" letter a little too much, while sharing way too much of what he alleges was their consensual behavior. I'm surprised he managed to restrain himself from charts choreographing their positions...He probably edited that out of a first draft.
10
I read his rebuttal.
We were not there. However, at the very least, they’re are two vastly different perceptions of what occurred. My sense is there is room for ambiguity in each person’s interpretation of what transpired.
Seduction has long been viewed as an oppositional game of “get”. Just think of the song “Paradise by the Dashboard Light” or how we allude to a baseball game, describing each step forward as getting to first, second or third base, as though the man is the aggressor and the woman’s role is to prevent further advancement. Certainly viewed through that lens, I can imagine the inner dialogue that Mr. Lauer might have told himself to justify what was at the very least an abuse of power, and a gross disrespect to her as a person. Putting in another way, how many times is your first romantic encounter anal sex? Exactly.
While I can sympathize with the dynamics that made Ms.Nevil continue with this affair, we women must, going forward, take accountability in proclaiming our objections to the debasement by the men in our lives. As a woman who came of age at a time when these behaviors were common place, I get it. I simply want better for our daughters and sisters going forward. We must empower young women to have enough confidence in their voice and in their power to say no loudly, decisively and with conviction.
In a future situation like this, my hope would be that will be no ambiguity about what constitutes a rape.
46
@Gwe
Some might name an embrace as their one and only first romantic encounter, and their first sexual encounter as something short of penetration.
What happened here would discourage romance, I would think, as well as reproduction.
2
If Matt Lauer continues to say the allegations are groundless, then surely he has plans to sue author Ronan Farrow and publisher Little, Brown? If not, why not? If Lauer is telling the truth, then surely he will want to clear his name by allowing the truth to come out in civil court?
Determining who is telling the truth really is not space science in this case.
57
@NormaMcL Really? Referring strictly to the rape allegation, you think it is at all possible to determine if a sexual encounter ten years ago which both agree occurred was consensual or forced? How? What real evidence could there be, beyond his version and hers?
True, a civil jury, its members subject to all the prejudices and preconceptions that we all have, could be compelled to render a verdict.
But that'd hardly be determining who is telling the truth to any degree other than what the jurors decided they believed.
26
@NormaMcL: A pubic figure suing for libel faces an almost impossible legal hurdle. That's why celebrities who succeed with a libel case make news. Man bites dog...
https://emcphd.wordpress.com
7
As with most sexual abusers in high places it is laughable to actually believe they were unaware. We still unfortunately live in a patriarchal society in the USA. From men in government thinking they are able to choose how we as women avail ourselves to women healthcare to the powerful using their power to assault and silence women. More women in positions of power can help in the direction of womens empowerment. We are so far behind most other democracies in equality for women.
48
I would have to assume that NBC investigated Nevils complaint when she first came forward. That complaint ultimately led to others which led to Lauer's firing. So it appears we are now not learning about a new accusation, but we're learning more details about one of the original accusations. At this point, who cares? Lauer was fired and Nevils got her justice. This is akin to beating a dead horse!
21
@J. G. Smith
That isn't justice - the man belongs behind bars!
He shouldn't be walking around free.
11
Every story of this nature inevitably begins with "We were drinking." This article seems to have left out Ms. Nevils statement that "I was too drunk to consent."
It shouldn't matter if one was drunk if they are raped. A crime is a crime. But it is a problem when an interpretation of events is required years after the fact, that simply is an exercise in controlling a story.
Nevils description of rape and Lauer's description of an affair both seem feasible. How are we supposed to differentiate and decide who is telling the truth?
I suspect this is stage 1 of an upcoming lawsuit.
6
@They
I agree. The "elephant in the room" is alcohol. Ms. Nevils said she had six shots. That is anesthesia in my book! If the group did not drink large amounts of alcohol, the evening would have ended happily. Tragically, it ended with the ruin of many lives. Such a shame!
3
@They
I think it does matter when someone says "I was too drunk too consent." If an adult of legal drinking age knowingly consumed enough alcohol to become too drunk to know what they were doing, they bear some responsibility for what happens to them. If I knowingly walk in a "bad" neighborhood by myself at 2:00 AM and I'm mugged and robbed, I'm still a victim and the perpetrator committed a crime...but I bear some responsibility for setting myself up to be victimized.
7
@They And how are we both to differentiate when both parties were drinking? Neither one is a good witness. To me, that's grounds for acquittal right there.
1
I’m very surprised by amount of people disgusted over this article. Interesting how you are all squeamish about rape and details, and you are questioning the victim. Lauer has a right to defend himself, and the victim should be heard. For those asking why she didn’t immediately report it and continue a relationship - look into yourselves and have empathy.
It is traumatic, can be embarrassing, you don’t want anyone to know OR BLAME YOU, it can take days, months, or years to fully comprehend what happened. It took me months to come to terms with what happened to me - while I was in a relationship with the person. I didn’t want to face the truth. Have empathy for her.
53
Ms. Nevils needs to be reminded that unproven accusations do not make her a victim, only an accuser. Mr. Lauer has every right to vigorously defend himself against her accusations and present a defense based on his interpretation of events.
4
I tend to more so believe people who aren’t trying to sell books or sleep with people to further their career.
7
It's interesting that at the time of his firing, Lauer went quietly into the night, albeit with a huge payout from NBC, and issued a statement to the effect that although he disputed some details, his accuser's claims were mostly accurate- but now he says her account is mostly false.
1
Because of this kind of rape allegations, the real victims of rape are disbelieved in their communities.
She will damage the real rape victims' pursue of justice in the future more than Matt Lauer for sure.
I'm sorry, if you continued a relationship with your alleged attacker for several months, I cannot take your allegations seriously.
7
Matt Lauer should have joined the legions of guys who secretly video their bedroom encounters in order to protect themselves from possible "regret" rape accusations. Easily done with today's technology and for a inexpensive cost. Well worth the money spent.
4
an important part of this story was left out. Following the alleged rape, Nevils continued to have a sexual relationship with Lauer back in NYC until Lauer broke it off.
"it wasn't a relationship" Nevils told Farrow. "It was transactional."
Would this info change your opinion of Nevils?
7
What a case of lying down with dogs and waking up with fleas.
3
People in the comments seem to forget that consent must be clear and ongoing throughout sexual intercourse. If the sex started consensual but if she protested anal sex at any time, it is still a violation of consent. And not to be crude here, but vagina to anal is QUiTE the escalation and NOT OKAY at all without clear consent.
3
It seems that the point of Ronan Farrow’s new book is to expose a cover-up of a major news story - the Harvey Weinstein story - by a respected, powerful, and influential news organization, NBC news. He seems to be exploring the violation of journalistic ethics of NBC stopping the Weinstein story. He is asking: why? And the why seems to include another, bigger “cover-up” : the systemic indifference of NBC to sexual assault allegations made by numerous NBC employees about their NBC coworkers and bosses, most notably Matt Lauer. Worse, it seems that there seems to have been a high tolerance for “rape culture “ at this influential news organization which sat on a credible news story about a serial and still active sexual predator who was Harvey Weinstein.
The rehash of the Matt Lauer story is to illustrate how extensive and specific the ethical violations were, and continue to be, at this very powerful news organization. A news organization that purports to give us news with integrity.
A news organization that lied about when it learned about allegations of sexual assault by one of its employees; and possibly prevented a news story about an active sexual predator, Weinstein. The suggestion here is: it stopped a story to prevent exposure of its own onsite sexual predator, Matt Lauer.
Farrow points out the same players, the same executives at NBC news are still there.
It seems the NYTimes is asking readers to consider similar questions and similar issues.
Totally newsworthy.
4
I read elsewhere Mr. Lauer's evidence that the relationship with Ms. Nevils was consensual, yet I found his list of evidence no where mentioned in the NY Times article. Is this an example of the Times' fear of being accused of blaming the victim?? Mr. Lauer's defense has a right to be heard.
7
If you are raped, do this:
immediately report it to the police.
Don’t: continue having sex with your rapist. Don’t: make your accusation public five years later through a book.
222
@Hal thanks for clearing this up... Who knew it was so easy? It takes a man to set us straight on rape.
81
@Hal -
No argument. The women who now claim Trump assaulted them decades ago but said nothing about it at the time exasperate me.
13
@Hal
Your comment shows a startling lack of understanding of the dynamics of sexual assault and the process of healing that victims must necessarily go through. Both not reporting to the police and continuing a relationship with the perpetrator, for various reasons, are common.
I also note that you failed to give advice to rapists. After all, they are the only ones who could actually stop rapes. But it's so much easier to stick with tradition and put all the burden on women and other victims.
122
Although these allegations are serious, I am not surprised. Mr. Lauer has a well-publicized history of bullying his female colleagues in the work place, and Ronan Farrow is a careful journalist. More of these types of allegations will continue to surface after a long history of shutting down victims by powerful abusers, one of the worst offenders being the current occupant in the Oval Office.
1
For NBC and the NYT, when there is the possibility of sexual assault/harassment within the organization, their boards should mandate an investigation by an outside legal entity.
Anything less isn't a valid investigation.
Why there wasn't a mandated outside legal investigation for both NBC and the NYT is the question that needs to be answered.
1
Lauer’s behavior was his pattern. The original reporting included another woman he raped in his locked office. She passed out, and people had to be called. She didn’t continue an affair with him as I understand. It’s a different woman.
Also, people keep bringing up Woody Allen. The judge’s report about what happened to Dylan Farrow was very clear about the fact that there WAS evidence of sexual abuse of Dylan Farrow, but the psychological custody evaluator was concerned about further traumatizing a 7-8 year old girl. THAT is why Allen was not prosecuted. I read the report. The psychological custody evaluator ended up working on my daughters case many years later and it freed my daughter from her father’s abuse. We now have a permanent restraining order against him.
The NY Times should be responsible to women and our society and create a list of all of the interactions Allen and Lauer have been accused of. Men need to be educated about this. The NY Times should show the REAL evidence against these men with links to any paper work that is available, including the judge’s statement about Dylan Farrow and Allen’s molestation. There are many more Matt Lauers and Woody Allen’s in the world than people acknowledge.
3
"All The Gossip That Fits We Print"
Accusations = guilt.
Are we talking about Trump or Nevils and Farrow?
And/or a credulous public?
Or all of the above?
And this artcle is being published in these pages why?
Or did I accidentally open a link to the Enquirer?
For quite a few years I was a primary care medic in a community clinic. Among the many things I learned is people's incredible ignorance about sex. And I saw little difference between genders, racial/ethnic/groups, or class.
This is not the place for graphic examples. Let me just note that for many patients, I had to explain what constituted intercourse. Not surprising, therefore, at the huge number of sexually transmitted disease situations I dealt with and the necessity to communicate in detail vectors of transmission.
Perhaps it is because nothing transcends human differences the way sex does, and that it does not necessarily involve thought, knowledge, or planning, that it is commonly approached without regard to potential implications different from one's own.
2
Neither Lauer or Nevils come off very well in this account. Hard to play the victim card when this much poor decision making was involved and continuing the relationship after she was attacked.
And Lauer is predatory if he takes advantage of someone who is completely inebriated...
@Marti Mart
Good point but how will someone determine the other party inebriated?
So from now on anybody about to have sex use a breathalyzer to see if the other party is drunk or not?
How many drinks are too much for not to have sex with the other party? One glass of wine? four beers? How much? How can one determine if the other party is inebriated or not?
I stopped watching The Today Show because of Matt Lauer. He was arrogant and condescending in his interviews. When the news broke about his behavior toward women in general I was not surprised one iota.
4
When I see #BelieveWomen, I think of "When They See Us."
For those who don't know, it's about five black boys whose lives are nearly destroyed because they are falsely accused by white women prosecutors conspiring with New York police. They are so intent on avenging the brutal rape of a female jogger that they ignore all the basic rules of evidence and police work. Giving free rein to their bigotry, they leap to conclusions based on their emotional response to a tragedy.
Unfortunately, I see the same tendency here and in Farrow's article. I'd remind folks how easy it is to jump to conclusions based on false assumptions and partial evidence.
Likewise, although the media can serve as a Rorschach test for the mood of the public, it is ill equipped to establish guilt or innocence. My advice: show a little humility. None of us is granted access to the Truth. Take time to gather all the evidence and weigh the alternatives before rendering judgment.
5
@VCR Remember: two wrongs don't make a right!
If are drunk, drive a car and run somebody over, the responsibility is yours. If you are drunk and go into a hotel room with somebody, do you not bear any responsibility for the outcome? Victim-shaming? There is definitely enough shame to go around. But finding a victim here is a little more challenging.
2
@Frank
NO, being inebriated and following someone to a hotel is not an invitation to any form of abuse. Maybe the person was hoping to rest and trusted the abuser to shelter her and allow her to rest, Indeed, Lauer's behaviour was opportunistic and criminal.
1
Brooke Nevils has zero credibility here. That doesn't take away how despicable a person Matt Lauer is, or how he abused women with whom he worked while he was a hot shot at NBC.
My opinion of Ms. Nevils would change if there was some corroboratory evidence that she was a victim here: contemporaneous texts or e-mails to close friends or family detailing her distress; any record of her reporting the rape to the police or to NBC's HR Department.
She continued to have a sexual relationship with him, by her own admission, after the reported rape took place in Russia. This does not pass the smell test.
6
The hole in this woman's account is that she continued the affair with Lauer after they returned to the US. It completely destroys her credibility. Lauer is obviously an obnoxious character who doubtless abused his position and was quite properly fired but there is no getting round the issue of credibility.
As to NBC's conduct and the whitewash job by their own internal lawyers no one really believes that do they. Their credibility problem is every bit as large as Nevils.
23
@John
Well stated. I agree with you completely.
1
This is not victim shaming but a reasonable response to the circumstances. As a general rule, people who have been victimized by a criminal do not continue to allow themselves to be victimized. But that is what appears to have happened here and, given the career boost she might have thought such a relationship with the married father of two could provide, it makes her story less credible. It also makes her a much less sympathetic figure.
17
@ehillesum i am not sure this statement of yours is true "As a general rule, people who have been victimized by a criminal do not continue to allow themselves to be victimized." in fact my understanding is that when the violence occurs within a relationship it is in fact very common for the victim to remain in the relationship. Look at the studies on domestic violence, intimate partner violence, and within family molestation and I think you may draw a very difference conclusion.
6
@Mac
I disagree with your assessment. This was an extra-marital affair taking place between two colleagues, not a long-term domestic relationship or a "within family molestation."
Unless you are positing an argument that Lauer is a Svengali who hypnotized Nevils I find it hard to reconcile that she said nothing to anyone about being raped, and then continuing to have a relationship with her purported rapist.
1
I am a 48 yr old professional woman who works and interacts with men at meetings during business travel. I would NEVER be alone with any man in a hotel room. It is quite obvious what your intentions are if you do end up there.
My first question is why did she go to a married man’s hotel room late at night. Obviously Matt Lauer is in the wrong but she set up the situation by going to his hotel room.
27
@Althea Jones A couple things. I think when tv shows travel, especially for long periods of time, very often the hotel room becomes their de facto office. And they work around the clock (especially when there is a live component combined with a drastic time difference) so day vs. night meetings don't carry the same meaning/insinuation as they might be in a normal workday setup.
Second, being interested in consensual sex - even with a married man - is different than that encounter turning into rape.
We all try to think what we would do in a given situation, but victim blaming should not be the default response.
3
@Althea Jones Wow - victim blaming much? People are always responsible for their own violence. It doesn't matter what the context is, abusing another human being is simply never acceptable.
2
What proof do we have either way? For past crimes where no other proof is evident, we are left to figure out which person in a high profile rape case is telling the true story. All doubt could be erased, if famous (rich) people and (possible future rich) victims availed themselves of invisible bodycams or room cams wherever they went. College women could install dorm room cams and not drink too much. But then there is the spectre of your perfect date turning up on the internet, for everyone's entertainment.
It is said that a window to the true soul is what you do in the dark when no one is looking. We are losing that window, being forced to behave better than our true natures - or be turned into next week's headlines.
3
The original reporting included another woman he did the same thing to in his locked office. She passed out, and people had to be called. She didn’t continue an affair with him as I understand. It’s a different woman.
The NY Times should be responsible to women and create a list of all of the interactions Allen and Lauer have been accused of. Men need to be educated about this.
Also, people keep bringing up Woody Allen. The judge’s report about what happened to Dylan Farrow was very clear about the fact that there WAS evidence of sexual abuse of Dylan Farrow, but the psychological custody evaluator was concerned about further traumatizing a 7-8 year old girl. THAT is why Allen was not proscecuted.
The NY Times should create timelines and show the REAL evidence against these men. There are many more Matt Lauers in the world than people acknowledge.
As for all of the women saying that they’d never go to a hotel room with a married man on a business trip, I hear you. Neither would I, but that’s not all he did. He “took” what he wanted. Some women objected. Some did not. Those who did not caved to his power over them, and a lot of women do because they have everything to lose if they don’t. Careers are ended by men who are angry that women refused their interest. I’ve walked away from jobs because of it. Nevile presents as a person who is telling the truth. No woman would acknowledge such things.
1
There are many more options to the Today Show.
I stopped watching when they let Ann Curry go. Never liked Matt Lauer from that moment on.
10
So much for the rights of both - no due process or discovery or right to a defense.
Now you can just be tried and be a pariah via the media, no experts no rights for anyone.
I’m a woman - I think it’s absurd that some of us just assume this woman, who continued having an affair with him, is being unbiased and completely truthful. Enough with the me-too lynch mob. Equality is giving both the benefit of the doubt and question both and their motives. Equality is not the assumption that all women never have accused someone maliciously or the at every man is always guilty.
19
DS, there is a very specific reaction that victims of sexual predators display. Most people who haven’t been there don’t understand.
I have always fought back hard when men have tried to assault me, and it was a frequent occurrence in jobs when I was in my 20s, 30s, and 40s. I was poor and pretty, so it happened a lot. I was never raped, but I walked away from and was fired from jobs for saying “no”, for hitting men when they touched me, and for reporting abuse. Most times I was not believed by superiors. I am a professional who is in my 50s. The job I have now is one of a handful of jobs I have not been sexually propositioned or harassed at.
Educate yourself instead of disparaging experiences you don’t understand.
3
Co depending on enabling on all sides.
NBC for not doing anything re serial offenders in their midst and women who wait five, ten, twenty yrs later to complain, only complain when the roles, money, stop, accept money from predators like Weinstein because he is supporting their causes or worse start the sexual activity to get ahead.
This is not pre 1980. Sexual harassment/assault is against the law in the workplace. Since then countless women have come forth and won redress.
1
Defending yourself against criminal allegations is not victim shaming. This woman with her victim shaming statement is basically telling Mr. Lauer "Don't even think about defending yourself." This is akin to witness intimidation on her part due to trying to sway public opinion against Mr. Lauer. It pains me when people take either side in these cases before an investigation or trial has even started.
18
Ms. Nevils went willingly to Mr. Lauer's hotel room late at night. She continued an intimate relationship with him upon their return to New York. Her argument that she was mentally coerced as a victim sounds fishy.
In fact Ms. Nevils appears to be hijacking the Me Too movement for personal (revenge, monetary, 15 mins of fame???) purposes.
Mr. Lauer is not a saint and for sure he did not hold to the moral standards that his public persona projected, but there is a distinction between moral and criminal misbehavior.
The Me Too movement is very serious, bringing to light the apparent horrible cases of Messr. Cosby, Weinstein and others.
Other accusations, including this one, smell suspicious and Mr. Farrow's deserved praise for his exposure of the Weinstein affair, now has a few dents.
18
I look forward to reading Mr. Farrow’s book.
Notably, each time Mr. Farrow has reported on allegations of sexual misconduct ranging from harassment up to and including rape, the principal accused(s) have pushed back with blanket denials.
Time and again, these accusations have been borne out.
Unfortunately, NBC News has shown itself to be completely untrustworthy.
They knew. We know they knew.
5
At some point, women are going to have to feel comfortable enough to call the cops when they are raped. Understand that there at reasons for not coming immediately forward. But, at some point, accusing folks many years after the fact becomes unfair.
13
"The revelations brought about a nationwide reckoning on workplace behavior and a reconsideration of the everyday abuses committed by men in positions of power."
You could have ended that sentence at "men." As Fran Lebowitz has noted, Weinstein, Moonves, Lauer etc..were unusual in that they had power over other men. But most men have power over women. Many sexual harassers, assaulters, rapists, domestic abusers, serial killers are not in positions of power - except for being men.
4
I think people are still struggling with the fact that a man that they welcomed into their homes many mornings, Matt Lauer, turned out to be a sexual predator with a disarming smile. He gained the trust of millions with pleasant patter. Knowing that, perhaps, step back and consider that we were all duped and that any one of us could have been his victims had we been in proximity. Beneath the charm were cruelty and sexual opportunism; he used his powerful position to secure sex for himself.
His obnoxious statement yesterday, seething about women not having to take responsibility for their own actions, was more proof that what Lauer is truly angry about is having been caught and punished. There is no real remorse, no understanding of the destructive effect he had in the workplace. Note that he was not having an affair with a rich neighbor. No, it had to involve a power dynamic. Just like rape. And now he has no power and his secrets are revealed. So it appears that his modus operandi will no longer be effective. What’s a guy to do? Seethe, wrapped up in his millions.
It has not escaped my notice that NBC is the home of that other alleged sexual predator who has somehow managed to get away with it, despite credible reports from multiple women, Donald Trump. The old boys at that network really have a lot to answer for. Three blind mice.
48
@NJlatelifemom
Yeah, but Trump has no disarming smile or pleasant patter and got elected anyway. He showed us exactly the kind of predator and philanderer he is when there was ample opportunity for voters to reject him. This is sickening on all fronts.
5
Give me a break. He is clearly an unsavory character and a cheat, but that’s a fair distance from being a criminal. She was drunk, went to his room twice (why?), and she continued having sex with him after the incident. Does not sound like a clear cut rape case to me. Ronan Farrow went over the line this time.
2
We never believed the young men or boys that were sexually assaulted by priests, teachers and coaches either. Why didn’t they go to the police immediately after being raped or abused. It must have been transactional also.
18
@Harry B There is no "transaction" between a figure of power (especially one representing the power of God) and a child. And I can say from experience that anyone who thinks it's an easy to report a humiliating and frightening encounter has never had one.
2
@Harry B Because they were children?
3
Any rapist under any circumstance should be prosecuted and jailed, period. That understood, my advice to any young woman in the workplace: do not drink multiple shots of vodka and then go to the hotel room of a coworker late at night; if you are assaulted, report only to authorities and trusted people and avoid a salacious book confessional; do not have affairs with married men because you know it is very wrong. I strongly sympathize with any victim of rape but I was also a young woman in the workplace who was hit on by older married men and I had to have the courage to say NO WAY. It is not betraying women to say act smart and have a conscience about adultery. That doesn’t exonerate the depraved Matt Lauer but I hope it encourages women not to become victims.
47
Well said! And I applaud your courage.
6
Report to whom?
The police? Please familiarize yourself with the many, many accounts of women who did that very thing, and were met with contempt and inaction.
The hospital? Please familiarize yourself with the many, many accounts of women who did that very thing and were met with invasive rape kits that sat in closets for months.
NBC? Ha.
Her friends? Her family? Perhaps they might have said the same thing you basically did: you were drinking, you came to his room, you knew he was married, so you asked for it. Or, I said no, why didn’t you?
1
@Carolyn "Here's what I did, and it's what you should do" is the worst kind of lecturing advice.
I don’t doubt these allegations one bit and anticipate it will be proven in full. And will be proven that NBC higher ups knew darn well.
5
It is time to be insisting on sexual assault and rape being reported to the police, evidence gathered and evaluated. If appropriate charges will be filed. It is unacceptable to have alleged victims sit in silence. If their car was stolen they would call the police. If they were robbed, they call the police. Rape and sexual assault are felonies and will be investigated. Society needs to demand a timely and thorough investigation.
This sitting in silence comes from the mistaken notion that the victim is damaged for life and will never ever be the same. Every day we wake up we are never the same as we were the day before but we keep moving forward. Silence allows an attacker to harm more people. If society changed the message to a realistic positive message, the silence should end.
I was beaten and raped by 5 males in 1983. I had evidence, went to the police who investigated. The DA didn't think he could get a win because I was black and the males were white. We have come a long way but there is still work to do. Society cannot let silence be an option nor can it tolerate trials in the court of public opinion.
25
Marital rape victims can later have consensual sex with their rapist. It doesn’t mean they weren’t raped.
This situation can exist among unmarried partners as well. That is, subsequent consensual sex does not prove a rape never happened.
Frankly, Matt Lauren is a predator with zero credibility. I won’t give him the benefit of the doubt.
35
They weren’t married and they weren’t “partners”. They were two colleagues having a fling. The comparison to marital rape is an insult to women who are truly stuck in abusive relationships.
1
the most interesting side of this awful story is that NBC News administrators REFUSED to let reporters bring up Harvey Weinstein's years of abuse of women because od Weinstein's knowledge of abuse by Lauer.
When your leadership kills stories for that reason, what you have is NOT a news outlet.
I am told by one source that Farrow's book does NOT realistically or convincingly portray Lauer as this woman's attacker on that work trip.
6
The vitriol aimed at people who question her account is perplexing. Does anyone truly believe she would have prevailed in court after maintaining a long-term, consensual sexual relationship with her accused assailant? Why should that standard be lower when it’s a public accusation instead?
35
I don't understand why this was not filed as a criminal complaint during or after the incident if it was a rape. I hope the authorities are looking into this...
10
@Jeff MANY women give themselves good-sounding reasons not to report even violent rapes.
Many people would go through much pain to simply avoid a public spectacle, and this is something we SHOULD work to change in our culture wirthout creating the kangaroo court scenario seen on many college campuses over the past decade.
6
I have no idea who's right here, but there's a reason why evidence matters in our justice system. Guilt by accusation leads to strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees. The folks who hung that fruit felt pretty righteous, too.
20
Her recollection of events, and her behavior after she alleged to have been the victim of a sexual assault, combined with her being a disgruntled former employee and the timing of this publicity release when her new book is coming out make me a bit wary of her credibility.
54
It's no surprise NBC'S legal team claimed they found no evidence of wrongdoing. Criminals dont investigate their own crime. Evidence disappears.
9
What does it mean to have a “transactional sexual relationship”?
26
@MavilaO I take "transacational" to mean that she had to do it to get something, like not get fired or not get demoted.
She agreed to do it but not because she wanted a relationship with Matt Lauer.
That is how I interpret it.
11
@MavilaO I presume it means paying for sexual favors with money and/or other benefits but it doesn't necessarily means it's consensual. Have sex with me or you're fired is a transactional relationship too. One party coerces the sex and the other party doesn't lose their job.
9
@Robert Holmen
She already had a relationship with Matt Lauer.
The gold standard for adulterous relationships might be romance, which neither were naming at that point, or at least mutual satisfaction.
Most of America was close to being in love with Matt at the time, so Brooke reasonably might have had hopes of transactions blooming.
I doubt her main hope was that seven figure payout.
She has probably felt a lot closer to Rowan of late.
2
Many are missing the point that Ms Nevils is NOT the only accuser.
Oh, and Mr. Lauer had a hidden door locking button underneath his desk...
Farrow is exploring the whole #metoo issue and why so many of these offenders were ignored for decades and their behaviour accepted as 'it's just how he is...'
38
All such accusations and defense should be done with multiple polygraphs. Even if polygraph cannot be admitted in the court, it is better for the people to have some baseline, in order to maintain objective analysis and evaluation of such a grave matter.
5
@DipThoughts Since polygraph have been shown statistically to be less reliable to give true information than flipping a coin (as it's easy to beat and is always an interpretation by an "expert") this is not a good idea. Polygraph tests have no place in any setting, in a modern society. We might as well do a tarot card test to determine who's telling the truth.
5
@DipThoughts Polygraph tests can easily be faked, so doing so would in no way provide an "objective analysis". I recommend that you do some research on polygraph tests and assault victims for more information.
4
Anything like this being published in a book reeks of major conflicts of interest. I'm not going to go so far as to accuse anyone of being untruthful, but for-profit books are an incredibly inappropriate venue for accusations of this nature.
54
This is not a comment on the particulars of the alleged occurrences in this article. For quite a few years I was a primary care medic in a community clinic. Among the many things I learned is people's incredible ignorance about sex. And I saw little difference between genders, racial/ethnic/groups, or class.
This is not the place for graphic examples. Let me just note that for many patients, I had to explain what constituted intercourse. Not surprising, therefore, at the huge number of sexually transmitted disease situations I dealt with and the necessity to communicate in detail vectors of transmission.
Perhaps it is because nothing transcends human differences the way sex does, and that it does not necessarily involve thought, knowledge, or planning, that it is commonly approached without regard to potential implications different from one's own.
12
The only way to make this pass the straight face test is the feminist way: a woman is brutally raped. She then enters into a consensual sexual relationship with her rapist. Women are frequently confused afterward and don't really know who's got their backs--a variant on the Stockholm Sydrome. But despite her confusion, it is yet a further assault on her to question her story in any way.
The Pence Rule makes far, far more sense.
11
@Wine Country Dude, none of it makes sense.
7
"All The Gossip That Fits We Print"
Accusations = guilt.
Are we talking about Trump or Nevils and Farrow?
And/or a credulous public?
Or all of the above?
And this is being published in these pages why?
Or did I accidentally open a link to the Enquirer?
39
The logical thing to do after being raped would be to call the police, not have an affair with the rapist.
59
@Jennifer Why? They rarely go anywhere and often the victim is often not treated well by police.
6
@Jennifer Logic is not a logical response to rape, assault, harassment or the trauma they cause.
11
So many commenters here blaming the woman and excusing the man’s behavior, and people still wonder how rapists and abusers like Lauer and Weinstein keep getting away with it.
Because of rape culture (the normalization of sexual violence), when trying to assess why a rape occurred, the obvious answer — because the attacker is a rapist — is often overlooked. Instead, what the victim wore, consumed, said, and how they acted is questioned and scrutinized.
Lauer and Weinstein knew they’d get away with it, and they count on people like these commenters, who have themselves fallen prey to rape culture, to protect and excuse them and instead blame the woman when they hear about it.
Society needs to recognize that the only question to ask a victim of sexual assault is “What can I do to help?” Asking a victim what they wore, did, or said when they were attacked and afterwards is irrelevant, damaging, and ignorant. Removing blame and shame from the dialogue empowers victims to report their attacks and begin their recovery, without shame or fear.
72
@BB
Ok - then change the law so accusations of rape - with evidence or without - suffice for conviction.
I’m sure that will solve the problem.
And then we can extend that principle to other crimes too!
More problems solved!
4
Surprised by all of the nose holding about the actual sex acts described here. This isn’t a news outlet for children. If you’re uncomfortable with sex acts being described in very basic terms, please take a moment and think about what ‘rape’ and ‘sexual assault’ actually mean. They’re sadly needed to be well understood today and should have been understood long ago.
If you don’t know, it’s forced penetration and forced kissing and grabbing of breasts/genitals, respectively. These are serious issues and crimes faced by all women and many men and sadly many young people/children. If you think this is too ‘icky’ or ‘too much’ to read about or think about, you’re a very real part of the problem. The stigma around these issues is why victims of such crimes — and they are indeed crimes — mostly don’t come forward at all. If they do, it’s often well after the incident, yes, even years after, when they’ve had time or outside help to process the event for what it was — rape or assault.
Also, for everyone taking issue with her sleeping with him after the alleged rape, this kind of behavior often happens after abuse, in many forms. Typically, it comes from a place of the abused wanting to normalize or deny outright what has happened to them. Again, and not least due to the shaming culture around abuse, it can take a while to realize/admit the reality of such a situation. It should be seen more as a coping method than a giving up of one’s legal — and human —rights.
91
@K Thank you for this - it helped me to understand better.
1
Criminal defense attorney here. I've been defending sexual assault cases for nearly 20 years. At any one time, I have, on average, around 4-6 clients accused of sexual assault. At any one time, at least one of those clients is not just not guilty but factually innocent (i.e., not even at the scene of the crime.)
Soooo . . .
24
Wow no surprise you are taking the side of your clients (rapists) since they are PAYING YOU to defend them.
Sooo...
32
Sooo...I’m under the impression that you’re trying to imply there’s a chance that Lauer is innocent of the allegations. Okay, fine, there’s a tiny, tiny chance. But if you truly believe him, that’s just your defense lawyer genes activating.
8
@Mark
Wow. Some real powerful anecdotal evidence you’ve got there...
*extreme sarcasm*
Hey guys, some random person on the internet said the problem of horrific gender based crime is solved now, so we don’t have to worry about it anymore!
26
Before this is all over Ronan Farrow will be held to account.
17
If Farrow wants to be taken seriously as a journalist, he has to do more than cover this truly disgusting topic. Enough already!
11
Accusations = guilt.
Are we talking about Trump or Nevils and Farrow?
And/or a credulous public?
Or all of the above?
And this is being published in these pages why?
Or did I accidentally open a link to the Enquirer?
6
What I find creepily disturbing is Lauer's letter's enumeration of the various types of sexual acts they performed. Perhaps he's trying to "get ahead" of the book. Or, maybe he is still so self-absorbed or egoistic as to be totally indifferent to the pain these details might inflict —not necessarily on Ms. Nevils— or, more likely, he still has some need to appear sexually agile. Full disclosure: I never understood Lauer's attraction or his position at NBC. I always felt his inflated ego, combined with an air of condescension, made him insufferable.
73
I don’t see the point of this story or the book for that matter. If there is a legal case of some type then it should have gone straight to court.
18
@K. Kong The point of the book is to examine how these serial predators were protected and allowed to flourish. And if we don’t reckon with these questions, then the cycle will continue.
43
Never understood the Matt Lauer thing. Always found him unappealing with unfounded arrogance. However this smacks of a character assassination if she continued to be sexual with him after the alleged incident. Facts please, and keep it simple, I'm a busy person and I won't give this much of my time, he's not worth it.
21
I feel like the problem with the #metoo movement is that while it will focus on the high profile and the salacious, it does not want to concede that such scenes are underpinned by vast systemic structures of inequity. Women and men are both imbricated within these systems and men often seek to use these inequities to their advantages. That’s a problem in and of itself and it is clear that Lauer was especially adept at working the levers of inequity to his advantage. That however is different than rape, which given what I’ve seen of this case did not happen. But it doesn’t mean that something awful didn’t happen. The metoo folks need to get hip to making these distinctions or they do justice neither to actual rape victims nor to addressing the broader structural imbalances that enable leeches like Lauer to thrive.
8
@Jeremiah Crotser I'm honestly a bit breathless from the mansplaining here. Let's set aside your exhortation to "the metoo folks" to "get hip" to what you've decided is the proper way to fight this fight and start with your first point: Of course those advocating for more safety and appropriate behavior in the workplace in the wake of these high-profile stories of misconduct want to take on vast systemic structures of inequity! That's the whole fight. Like, all of it. The whole thing. So I don't get your premise here at all. Second, you want to distinguish between workplace inequity and physical rape -- but the accusation in this case is physical rape which, it seems, you've decided didn't happen. But the accuser is saying it did. You're trying to disengage physical assault from gender inequity but both are at play here. So what's your point, exactly? We can talk about both because, to use your word, they're imbricated.
25
I appreciate your response and I actually think you're right, especially about the connection between assault and inequity. I don't know what I was talking about--I was reading an academic essay and thought I could pull off the tone but it clearly didn't work. I do think something isn't quite right about this accusation--maybe it's less the accusation itself that's frustrating than the way it is being used by Farrow to get people interested in his book. Perhaps it's a catalyst for change at the same time as being a way for a journalist to make a name for himself. I'm making an assumption there, but that's what this feels like for me. Thanks for the critique.
14
What is the point of reporting this? Mr. Lauer should be tried in court, not in the NYTimes. If Ms Nevils doesn't press charge, the only thing that will come out of this story is further distrust in our institutions. And book sales for Mr. Farrow.
30
I am no prude, but was it really necessary for the Times to include the specific sexual acts mentioned in Lauer’s response?
18
1) The feminist version of justice and due process is that females can accuse men of heinous crimes, intending and knowing that the accusations will become public and result in substantial harm to the accused. Yet the accuser can remain anonymous and be investigated only by the sympathetic media persons she chooses and only to the extent those sympathetic media persons choose.
2) Is Farrow's book being distributed free to the public? No? You mean he is trying to sell books to make money? And what compensation is the accuser receiving for her assistance to him? But we are supposed to believe his accusations of sensational wrongdoings as though his motive was unselfish. If his motive truly were unselfish, he would turn over actual evidence he has to police (if he really has any evidence), and he would not be making money off a book of sensational accusations....if he unselfishly wanted to publicize them, he would do so without compensation.
However, in the feminist world, mere accusation is more than sufficient to establish certain guilt and justify extreme punishment. And accusers can remain anonymous while their media mouthpieces make huge profits from publicizing the accusations.
101
@Errol - excellent points you make similar and even more eloquent to my own. please read my comments below
2
@Errol
Errol, what would you have women do, exactly - put out and shut up? If our daughters and sons, wives, sisters, mothers, aunts or grandmothers are raped, don't you think they deserve to know their society will offer them a safe way to defend themselves after the crime at least, even if they're deeply shaken or ashamed or frightened of recrimination of all kinds? Or should they just introduce a double-barreled shotgun into the equation?
I don't get men like you and those recommending your post. I can only think you've never had rape infect your own lives and don't respect women and kids enough to quit whining about some perceived sleight or legal inequity here against men - as if women haven't had to deal with that all along!
9
I'm sure that Lauer is a despicable person and is guilty of most of what he is accused of, but I can give no sympathy to a woman who continues to have an affair with a man she claims has raped her. It can't be that hard to get another job.
59
@theresa really? In a close-knot industry like tv. In nyc? Yes, it would have been difficult.
21
@Caroline st Rosch
Difficult maybe but I think most women are better than that and would choose some hardship rather than essentially becoming a prostitute to a rapist.
NBC used a law firm within the company and they found no wrongdoing. How convenient!
32
@Patrick bingo, but it wasn't a law firm within the company. They outsource to a billion dollar billing, whiter than white shoe law firm, Proskauer Rose.
Lauer's vile statement was craft by lawyers, the intent is to smear, demean, humiliate, and bury this brave woman.
Was this the first sex they had? Did they have oral sex and vaginal sex at all before this? If so, consent for anal seems like a foggy zone. If she was having sex with him so she could advance her career, if this was the first sexual encounter they had and it was forced on her and she called it rape, I can't see why she would see him for months after, unless he threatened her career. Did she say he did?
She was drunk- was Matt inebriated too? Where is her responsibility in this event?
35
@ruby Don’t be ridiculous; she is a woman making a rape allegation in a book years after the fact, without any evidence, who went about continuing an affair with her alleged rapist for months afterward. In today’s climate, she must be believed beyond a shadow of a doubt. To suggest otherwise means one condones rape. (pardon my sarcasm).
47
@ruby not foggy at all.
5
NBC certainly made the right decision, but they still haven't gone far enough. Why haven't the senior leadership at NBC News during Matt Lauer's tenure been fired or found the integrity to resign already?
13
It’s a bottom of the barrel fight over yesterday’s news.
19
It's time women take some responsibility for our actions, too. I am so tired of the helpless victim routine. You got rapped, go to police. Don't throw mud 20 years later. Enough, already. It's not empowering.
And let's have some common sense. Be careful who you are with and where you are.
Last night a woman was rapped in New York when she stopped to ask for directions at 11:30 at night. Why was she out alone in a strange place at night? Yeah, I know she had the right to be, but that didn't prevent her rape. Let's just grow some sense and be more careful and a lot less trusting.
24
@Pat Strange that you question a woman’s right to walk around late at night. If you get attacked late at night, Pat, will you also be to blame? Can women be out until 9:30 PM and then you’ll blame their attacker? Or is it 10:30? You’ve suggested a frightening world where, according to you, women must stay inside to protect themselves. Sounds a little like Saudi Arabia, actually.
72
@Pat Agree. Women want it both ways; “ we are strong, we are empowered, we have autonomy over ourselves and our bodies.” Along with this empowerment comes responsibility for ourselves, which, frankly, many women fail to take. Being a woman does not automatically make one a victim of the world.
10
@Pat, suppose a woman is raped at home in broad daylight? Still her fault, eh?
17
Lauer and his letter are both nauseating.
38
Really so we should all assume he has no right to defend himself?
15
I managed to go over twenty years in the biz without ever raping anyone and I've got nothing to show for it.
Matt Lauer's punishment for his alleged crimes are having $100 mil. or so in cashed checks from NBC and having to pay out of pocket for his own helicopters to take him around the Hamptons.
I really wish people of all sexes would come forward and out all the guys and gals who cannot keep their dirty hands and dirty other things off the subordinates. Press charges, sue them into the poor house, just get them the heck out of the business of assaulting people.
45
Who? Did what? is this news? Sounds like gossip rag materiel.
art
15
I could do without all the salacious details of this case being published in the NYT. Maybe there’s a tabloid we could all go to instead.
18
You know who investigates allegations of rape? THE POLICE.
40
@PeteH...who often do not believe the victim...or don’t knock themselves out making a case.
17
Billy Bush is back on tv after yucking it up with Trump about women's genitals. Spent a year away to make our disjointed memories fade (which scandal and which person?) and now it's raking in millions time. Should Bush be banished from life? No, but how about having the dignity to stay off camera and lead a private life.
By going on the record and staking out the facts, Lauer has no way back. Good. Enough of the closed door rape culture.
15
Who ya gonna believe, the reporter who has consistently been thorough and never been proven to be dishonest or the rapist and his executives that covered up his crimes?
Please.....it strains credulity to think that ML wasn’t known to the C Suite. They had invested $25 mil, they weren’t going to abandon their boy!
66
Institutions always engage in cover ups. ALWAYS.
The reason why is that anyone who rises to a position of leadership and power has shed any scruples about appropriate behavior along the way.
32
I wish the Me Too movement would turn the page. There are numerous women’s issues that need to be dealt with concerning female employment not the least of which is equal pay.
I don’t like following a movement that ignores due process. While I have no reason not to believe Mr. Farrow’s account Mr Lauer has a right to face his accuser.
The movement is on it’s way to becoming a catty caricature of the worst of all of us: bad gossips. Pretty soon all someone will need to blow up someone’s life is a picture with them in front of a motel marquee.
None of us know what happened between Mr. Lauer and this woman - not even Mr Farrow, considering he wasn’t there. This needs to be worked out between them, not litigated in the court of social media movements.
103
@Sheela Todd
So true.
11
@Sheela Todd Interesting how you called the alleged rapist "Mr. Lauer and the alleged victim "this woman"
It presents a clear fact.
13
The point is women have been shamed and dismissed, precluding due process, while their livelihood and career are held in the precarious balance. We know that many do not come forward as their ability to get another job will always be severely impaired if it becomes known they have even only complained. Especially when the man is famous. Interpreted by Trump for example, this means ‘they let you do anything’. And take it as their due.
2
I don't like Matt Lauer. I have never liked Matt Lauer. But this is absurd. As many others have stated you don't shout rape and then go back for more.
And Ronan Farrow is... well let's put it this way, if he said the sun was shining I'd go outside to check. He is a shoot off his mother's tree. Nutty and unreliable, and looking for a boogie man under ever rock.
61
@mj Really? And you know all this how?
19
Nutty and unreliable? Ronan Farrow is a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist, a Rhodes Scholar, has received humanitarian awards, has worked for the State Department, and is the author of War on Peace, a superb book on the gutting of the State Department around the world. Your comment is insulting and lacking integrity.
61
@Martina absolutely!
5
When a reader calls Ms. Nevils a liar, I hope you might consider asking yourself what woman would make up a lie such that her name is publicly associated with the term “anal rape” for the rest of her life.
Literally no woman, least of all an ambitious, highly educated one, would ever do such a thing.
165
A woman who expects to profit from this, and/or one without great judgment. Both seem to apply here - she’s probably getting some payment from the book, and the bad judgement was demonstrated by her pursuit of a married man and a known philanderer.
18
@Lauren Thank you. In my years as a women’s therapist I bore witness to countless women who had been sexually abused resulting in tremendous guilt and shame. Reading these judgmental comments underscores what many have known for decades. Women are routinely devalued in their reporting. Today’s Portland Oregonian ran a front-page story about decades of sexual abuse committed by one of the founders of Mercy Corps upon his daughter. She reached out to everyone from camp counselors to his coworkers, constantly being shuffled away or having her story covered up. When I hear comments on the order of “Why didn’t the victim speak up at the time,” I want to scream. Any minimally observant teen or adult woman is aware of the shaming, ridicule, and the disbelief which comes with speaking up about rape. And has no one heard of the rape kits that piled up and did not get processed for years and years?? To say nothing of the long-lasting consequences when the victim goes public. “Me Too” can be blamed. Mr, Farrow can be villianized. The fact remains, Mr. Lauer, Mr. Weinstein and other predatory men count on these vicious truths to keep them safe from detection. The fact that Mr. Lauer had a button on his desk to entrap women in his office should stop the conversation regarding his truthfulness. I thank Ronan Farrow. I wish the Oregonian story would go national.
19
There’s no question in my mind that ML is a stupid classless and overprivileged white guy - as well as it being a complete mystery why he was on NBC for so long with his complete lack of talent and on-camera vapidity...and surely this young woman knew he was a player when she started playing with him.
All that said if he really did rape her, we will likely never know, but a smart attorney would have told him to keep his mouth shut and not respond to her allegations from the book. Even with her admitting what they did was often consensual and she was drunk and didn’t want to do anal sex... If there is evidence and he can be charged and convicted, he should be, but man, given our current political situation, I am sure tired of bad behavior period.
15
@The Central Scrutinizer Imagine if someone described people of color in the pejorative way in which you just racially described Matt Lauer.
16
@Eugene, the comment is totally appropriate, not a pejorative, because it is true for so many white men. Not all, of course, but a lot. Do you need a safe space?
10
@Eugene I am "a people of color" and have heard way worst things said about us... he's a privilege, classless and for sure untalented, with zero charisma predator, Mr. maybe white? Eugene.
6
It seems to me that there’s plenty of bad behavior to go around. Both parties never seemed to consider the consequences for others. I can’t summon any sympathy for either of them.
40
He probably taped numerous women. Predict he had them sign non disclosure forms. Look for more to step forward.
7
I recently met someone who worked in the NYC news industry and that person said it was an open secret for a long time about Lauer's behavior and women knew not to meet with him alone. With that said,I didn't think I could be more shocked and disgusted by his behavior, but this article actually made me feel nauseous.
41
I think BOTH Nevils and Lauer behaved poorly here.
Even if it were consensual, as Lauer maintains, she is almost 30 years younger than him. He should not have invited her into his hotel room after a night of drinking for sex.
She should not have done 6 shots of vodka while traveling with colleagues from work while in a work-related situation. She should not have gone to his hotel room for the purpose of fooling around with a married man she worked with.
She should not have had "transactional" sex with him when they returned to New York whether at work or at his home. He definitely should not have.
When he wanted to end it, he should not have ghosted her. He wrote in his response he ended it by simply cutting off all communication with her with no explanation. They had had an intimate, sexual relationship over a number of months - how mean, cold, and inhuman. No wonder she got even more upset - and maybe viewed the beginning of their "transactional" relationship through a different lens.
The only person who looks good here is Meredith Viera, who told Nevils to report it so that it could be investigated properly (which didn't happen - there was no proper investigation, which is not fair to anyone). Thank you, Meredith - I will always think the better of you for doing the right thing when a younger person reached out to you for help.
98
@David These are your opinions; there are people who believe that there's nothing with sex between consenting adults even if there's a large age difference, just as there is nothing wrong with casual sex, open relationships (very popular nowadays) or other alternative lifestyles. Ronan Farrow is gay -- would you cast similar aspersions on him, because they deviate from the norm?
9
I guess we won’t see him during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade!
25
@PM thanks to god!
4
Geez, is there one male tv news show host in this country who DIDN'T harass or rape his subbordinates? Really hoping Dan Rather doesn't get named next.
15
You seem to believe them all. Don’t be so naive.
10
@JS
My sister worked in broadcast circles. She mentioned Lester Holt as a very decent person.
5
@kim
So happy to hear that about Lester Holt.
The attacks on the victim of Matt Lauer’s assault are shocking. They are reminiscent of similar attacks I read on social media when a former Governor of my state was outed and later resigned after sexual abuses were revealed. Strange to say: I hope that these cruel responses are the work of bots. I’d hate to think that they reflect 21st Century attitudes on the part of flesh-and-blood Americans.
28
@Nancy: Agreed. Poor Christine Blasey Ford has had to move four times in the past year because of death threats. And men wonder why rape is the most under-reported crime in the US and the #metoo movement is still just as valid today as it was when it took off.
151
Who? Didn’t you do this story about him 2 years ago?
4
Too much information.
26
Not offering excuses for Matt Lauer here, but didn't he already pay dearly for his offences? He lost his cushy job and is estranged from his family thanks to his dalliances. Meantime, if I were raped by a work collegue I'd have a hard time thinking about a second, (to her own admission) consensual - if only transactional - relationship with the man who assualted me.
34
Lauer was very different from the character he played on TV.
Let this be a lesson to everyone.... especially when voting.
39
We’re not in her shoes or his. So let’s allow the story to unfold without public judgment ahead of time.
5
@Nycgal
The story has unfolded.
13
Mr Farrow gets this interview just before his book comes out. Coincidence I guess. It puts questions in my mind, however.
16
Having been through a girlfriend's rape a few years ago, I feel only contempt for any rapist. The level of rage I've felt is indescribable.
Having said that, do we now live in an age when due process means nothing? When people are fired because of accusations, and careers are brought to end because of what is, we need to remember, legally hearsay?
When we lose due process and people are tried in the court of public opinion and social media, we tread a very dangerous path indeed.
50
@Jack Lee Let’s no forget that Mattwas confronted by HR. At that time he wasn’t just fired without due process. He admitted to the affair. That was a violation of his contract. You can’t have public facing employees conducting themselves in the manner he was and expect the public to trust or respect them. He failed to live up to the values he contracted to live.
19
@J
Obviously the important question here is whether he raped his colleague and not whether he had an extramarital affair. If HR fired him for the latter and not the former, it should have made that abundantly clear. The fact that it did not is the basis of @Jack Lee's claim.
2
@Jack Lee Her account isn't hearsay. Neither is his.
3
Honestly could have gone the rest of my life without reading Lauer’s letter.
117
@Greenfish Then you would have presumed his guilt, like many others here. Matt Lauer is doing something more men should be doing (but aren't): defending himself against the witch hunt. If you're offended by his rebuttal then that's your problem, I'm sorry.
20
@Eugene And you've decided it's a "witch hunt" because you know the "truth"? Because you are omnipotent?
24
So, if a rapist describes sex in detail from a whitewashed perspective of rewritten history, that’s an exoneration of rape, if it was indeed rape? That makes it okay?
Does that change anything for the person raped? Or it just makes you feel better, so that’s all that matters?
10
Ug...Mr. Lauer -- come on...."consensual" for a major network star and a staffer is not really going to be such...
If he said "Listen, I used my power and influence and such to get some something something when I could...it was "consensual" in that I she was into it and didn't fight me...but come one, I guess it's really never truly consensual given our positions and I should have never taken advantage of that....."
How much of a difference would it make?!
Given this ridiculous point of view, you can assume it was probably actual rape.
Shame on NBC for even trying to cover this one up via $$.
Is Lauer really that worth it? No other human being could ask questions like he could?
It's sick the enabling that goes on amidst such.
30
@Cooldude .
I think some (most) women are attracted to powerful and wealthy men. Is it totally out of the question that she was one of them and just turned on him when he dumped her? Maybe, she dreamed of being Ms. Lauer someday. Just saying. You don't know what goes on in someone's mind. Doesn't excuse Lauer, just to be clear.
9
"...she came to my hotel room very late one night in Sochi, Russia. We engaged in a variety of sexual acts. We performed oral sex on each other, we had vaginal sex, and we had anal sex."
What reader of just a few years ago would imagine reading such details in any newspaper, much less the Times??? I don't imagine myself a prude, but these graphic details are more than I'm comfortable with. Do the particulars of the sex Lauer says he had with the woman advance the story or make it easier for the reader to understand what went on? I don't think so.
117
@John H. welcome to reality John.. get with the program
5
Lauer should sue Farrow for slander, you can't publish things like this without concrete proof, hearsay is not a proof.
27
@Tampo I'm sure the discovery phase would be extremely interesting. Perhaps that's why he's not brought a suit thus far?
22
I don't know how many people watched & recall Lauer's consecutive interviews with Candidates Trump and Clinton during the 2016 campaign. It was held on the Intrepid & the idea was that each interview would offer a broad picture of the their views of foreign policy. Candidate Trump's interview was basically as advertised. The only thing that could be noted was that there was no follow-up after Trump said that if we ever went back to Iraq we would "take" the oil ( it might have been interesting to ask how we would do that without establishing a colonial occupation over the country , but then maybe Trump knows of a way to very rapidly remove oil) . Then came Hilary Clinton. His 1st question was about the emails...she took a deep breath and answered carefully and fully ...when she was finished he didnt ask a follow up he asked ..."What about the e-mails?"....she had the amazing patience to answer again. His 3rd question was "What about the E-mails?" It was clear that the former Sec of State had been ambushed by a partisan who was not going to allow her to show that she had a deep understanding of foreign affairs. I do not know if this allegation is true. But to think that there is a significant possibility that a man who did the things he is accused of played a role in the destruction of one of the most qualified candidates we have ever had and the person who the plurality of voters chose for president of the US on the day of the attack on the Kurds is breath taking.
319
@Greg Jones: I forgot about that, since Trump has sucked the oxygen out of the room for three years now, but you're right. Lauer's blatant disrespect towards HRC was jaw dropping, particularly compared to the obsequious puff piece he did on Trump.
88
@Greg Jones Honestly, is it difficult to believe that Lauer was biased. Even prior to him being outed as a predator, did anyone really take Lauer seriously as a newsperson? His role was to provide entertainment, he was not a newsman (or more politically correct, a newsperson). He is not, and never was, a television or newspaper journalist.
I agree that while watching Lauer that night, it was obvious that Trump was given slow pitched softballs, while Hillary was attacked. It is numbing to think that a lightweight like Lauer, was given the role to moderate the equivalent to a debate. Not only what was NBC thinking, but more importantly what was Hillary's campaign officials thinking, agreeing to the event , with the lack of professionals in control anything could have happened. And it did happen and it was not good.
36
@Greg Jones
I too have forgotten that interview. I did watch though.
On another post I made, one reply was that I was like the "legitimate rape" candidate; that was that candidate's wishful thinking but helped Claire McCaskill to win her seat in 2012.
(Some people's wishful thinking merges into fantasy, as Donald Trump's. The other day Trump announced, "... in my unmatched wisdom …" He was fantasizing that. Nobody is saying it. Then he thought he would announce it. A few of his staunch followers at least would believe it he thought.)
I for one haven't been an admirer of Matt Lauer. I even stopped watching Today show since they fired Ann Curry. I thought it was plain cruel. She was an excellent journalist. Lauer had some role in it I think.
11
I believe nothing that executives at NBC state regarding knowledge of Mr. Lauer's sexual predation. That kind of activity is exactly the kind of activity that makes its way quickly into the rumor mill of any company, large or small. Even if some of the executives with responsibility for Mr. Lauer's part of the company were averse to actively participating in such rumors, there is not question that someone was aware of the rumors. That person, likley more than one, would alert top management what the rumors were. This not least because of the frequency with which Mr. Lauer preyed on any woman with whom he had an interest. Many and repeatedly apparently.
Mr. Lauer was a significant money-maker for the division, thus that impeded any effort to investigate. Once again, given the frequency of abuse by Mr. Lauer, it would not have taken much investigation to ascertain the facts.
Needless to say, I also do not believe a word that Mr. Lauer says.
69
The guy put off sketchy vibes that was apparent to anyone that didn’t regularly watch the Today Show. It was like having Michael Douglas’ character from “Basic Instinct” attend your Tupperware party.
49
Gut reaction: "Yuck" about all of it, whatever all of it is or isn't.
28
Ronan Farrow is the son of Woody Allen and Mia Farrow. He is a celebrity journalist, and he gets the full celebrity treatment here. It is hard to tell whether this article is about Matt Lauer, Harvey Weinstein, the accuser gone public, or Mr. Farrow. On balance, I would say it’s more about Mr. Farrow. Bigger than the story that won him a Pulitzer.
20
@michjas Ronan Farrow,s entire career is an exercise in attacking Woody Allen by proxy.
9
I believe Nevils 100%. But, I don't understand the "transactional sex" episodes after the rape. Was this to just placate and thereby keep him from "attacking" again or ruining her career? If so, he is as sick as they come...
22
@Harley Leiber. Or was she willing to make a trade for how the then powerful (and married father) man could help her career?
21
Assault & rape are crimes.
They should be tried in a court of law, not littered in various publications for publicity's sake, & to no apparent purpose.
19
Is this woman getting any money from the book sale?
10
Is it common for a woman to have a sexual affair with a man after being raped or assaulted by the same man?
Perhaps Ronan is taking liberties with this woman’s allegations just as Lauer did with her affections...
34
@MDCooks8
I ask the same question.
9
@MDCooks8
Yes, it is common. Historically, it's called marriage.
13
Rape victims need to report the crime to the police, not Rowan Farrow.
65
The police need to be trained in how to deal with rapes and domestic violence.
Then more victims could safely rely on them without making their situations more dangerous to themselves.
25
@Brian “they” don’t report to the police (or anyone else) because the police don’t believe them
2
Why not call the police before talking to Ronan Farrow?
36
@Eric I'm too tired to explain, so please, just google why women don't report rapes to the police. There's soooooo many reasons, but they all the stories end the same .... the dude gets away with it.
In the end, it's the same reason people call the press when they want action regarding anything. Bad press gets action when calling customer service, or city hall, or the school principal, etc., doesn't work.
25
Ms. Nevils is brave for coming forward considering how victims of rape and violent sexual crimes are usually treated by people who are supposed to help them (ie, the police, the courts).
Matt Lauer deserves much worse than firing and pillorying for what he's done. The women he assaulted will suffer from their experiences for years and years.
I don't believe for a minute that no one, absolutely no one at NBC had an inkling of what Matt Lauer was doing. People knew but were either too afraid to come forward or didn't care.
110
@curious NBC is not responsible for investigating violent crimes. That’s what police do, and would have done had she notified them. NBC is also not responsible for keeping up with water cooler murmuring. This was not an allegation of sexual harassment that occurred at the company picnic; Ms. Nevils is alleging rape. At some point, we have to stop contorting ourselves into a pretzel in an effort to avoid the truth: If Ms. Nevils was raped, she should have gone to the police. Had she done so, I assure you that Matt Lauer would have been off the air the following morning.
28
@curious 'what Matt Layer was doing?'
You mean having consentual sexual intercourse with people who didn't work for him?
2
I guess that’s why they still call it his.tory ...
3
Now if we can just deliver the same justice to Trump for the sex abuses he's committed. But he's the president and is therefore unaccountable for any crimes while in office, sexually abusive or otherwise.
I am more convinced than ever that Trump can do exactly what he said in January 2016, walking down 5th Avenue, gun in hand without being held accountable.
20
This fellow is on the right path,but as of right now NBC would have plausible deniability on both counts.Hope Farrow keeps punching and NBC benefits from the stress.
7
Why is it necessary to go into this level of detail about the acts committed (if it was rape) or engaged in (if it wasn't)?
33
I don't think I like Lauer's politics but a hospital or police weren't visited - after said violent celebrity attack (of course) late at night in their hotel room - because?? Oh, worried that the millions and millions from suing NBC after Lauer's arrest couldn't distract from the loss of the staffer's salary????
This running tale of unaccountable males seems to be the work of a straight-male hating reporter, I'm sorry. General knowledge of Lauer's office affairs at 30 Rock would have been enough for an unprecedented judgment against NBC. Yeah, Gloria Allred, Geraldo, Oprah and the rest wouldn't come running after news of an arrest...
Lauer liked affairs but was not stupid.
9
@David H
"Lauer liked affairs but was not stupid."
As it turns out, apparently he was.
15
@David They were in Sochi, It’s plausible victim don’t feel comfortable visiting Russian hospital and police.
30
It’s real simple. Don’t have sex with people at work. Problem solved.
93
It was at a hotel after work.
2
@Paco
If the person who wants to have send with you has a lot more power than you do at work, then what? Say no and risk being fired or even blacklisted for other jobs?
Saying no doesn’t solve the problem — it can open up a whole host of other ones.
14
Okay. Don’t have sex with people with whom you work. Either in hotels or at work. There. Fixed it.
6
Too much information.
57
@Jack
Yes.
7
I feel a tremendous debt of thanks to Ronan Farrow and his colleagues for the courage and tenacity for bringing these stories to the public. They stood up to big money, big power brokers who thought no way would things change. All would continue in it's sickening pattern, using women and throwing them away. Denying the truth, over and over.
But we who have born these awful secrets, the wounds and the untold hurts, have a new path forward and Ronan, you are our hero. Seriously.
I'm a #MeToo survivor who doesn't know how to properly thank these people, for what they have done for us.
We have come out of the shadows, out of the cold greyness, into a place of healing. And the monsters are at last being named!
And what is even more amazing, we have become a group of people who heals together. This is the greatest thing of all. Being together.
48
She went to his hotel room late at night. Sounds like she may be using him.
30
what is the point of this? Farrow has already dug out this story. Why is a good investigative reporter wasting his time and news print on someone as inconsequential as a tv show host? This surely does not rise to the top of the list of things worth investigating. The disparity between the reporter's talent and the subject matter is astounding.
14
Cudos for bravery to Rachel Maddow for having Ronan Farrow on her show. Shame, shame, shame to NBC and MSNBC executives for journalistic cowardice.
16
Scorpions in a bottle demanding America watch.
Go away and lead your scorpion lives without pulling in others.
10
"We spent eight months pursuing the story but at the end of that time, NBC News — like many others before us — still did not have a single victim or witness willing to go on the record.”
^ Gee. I wonder which other news outlets he is referring to.
1
Farrow is just continuing on the Farrow family legacy: support those who make accusations but can't prove them and let the court of mindless, idiotic public cast the stones of guilt. Shame on Farrow. A Spineless, exploiter looking to make a name for himself, and lots of money in my opinion. More this disgusting "guilty because i accuse you" game . A game being played by people who have no honor, morals or care in the world for real victims of sexual crimes.
57
Bad guy! Arrogant and full of himself. As a "talent" he wasn't much. Laurer's conduct here wasn't a one-time aberrational event.
19
No one knows what went on in that hotel room besides the actors. Lauer is an unmitigated jerk, but that’s already been litigated and settled.
Consenting adults were drinking and messing around. Did one sex act get out of hand amongst others that were consensual? Who really knows but the parties involved?
There really are a lot of cases in which one of the actors is an unwilling participant. For example, when an unconscious woman is assaulted behind a dumpster (see Brock Turner).
Sensationalizing cases where an adult woman willingly enters a tipsy man’s hotel room when he answers the door in his boxers, has sex with him, and then chirps takes away from the myriad cases where the perps should be crucified publicly like Brock Turner, Weinstein, et al.
36
Since when is Ronan Farrow the repository of all this slime? I don’t find him credible and what’s more since when do RAPE ALLEGATIONS appear, not in a police report, but some jerk’s book? Disgraceful!!
53
Smoke. Fire.
8
I think it's time to investigate Ronan Farrow. Although no one should condone the miseries he writes about, it seems that he is an agent of the right wing since he always seems to attack liberal people and left-leaning institutions in a very vile manner ( and yes, I've seen him speak at the Commonwealth Club and threw his previous boring book into the trash). What about Fox News and the current misogynists and molesters in the White House, not to name the molesters on the Christian right to name a few, Mr. Ronan? Are you such a perfect human being? I think not. You are angry and biased and it shows.
12
@Gary - i've been saying this for years now ever since his sister and his mother made accusations against Woody Allen. there are many skeletons in their closet in my opinion. Someone please investigate the #metoo and #timesup leaders. Reese Witherspoon is the first i can think of. "I believe her" is not enough for being guilty.. what part of this don't these women understand?
2
TMI Must we know all the sordid details. Must the paper of record print this.
20
Everyone who ever had a corporate job knows what this all about.
-The boss that looks the other way went illegalities surround the BIG PRODUCER.
-The way the OLD BOYS' NETWORK shields and promotes those in its' ranks dismissing obvious ethics issues because "He's a great golfer"
-The collective abusive attitude towards women.
We have all seen it. But if we spoke up , that was the end of your career.
THE FISH STINKS FROM THE HEAD
36
Have you learned nothing, Mr. Lauer?
8
Is this a book promo by the NYT or legit reporting?
I’m sick of the names of sexual abusers names appearing on my home screen.
Can you stop? These men are predators and deserve nothing - especially not seeing their name on the front page of the Times.
2
@Chris B have they been proven guilty? No. so you stop with your promoting the "Hangem' High" policy of justice.
2
I was never a fan of Matt Lauer, possibly because I never watched his morning program.
But this current accusation seems contrived, especially in light of Mr. Lauer's convincing and categorical denial. I think the provable historical record will ultimately corroborate Lauer and exonerate him fully. What woman would allow herself to be forcibly sodomized and then continue in the relationship? None. This appears to be a money/notoriety grab.
But the bigger issue is what kind of monster has MeToo, Times Up, etc., created? Many of these belated, dramatic claims by disgruntled women are now surfacing and a significant percentage will likely be unproven or proven as false.
Instead of improving circumstances for women, I suspect the outcome from these efforts will be deteriorating relations between the sexes--and for decades. It's a good thing over-population is one of our biggest problems, because I predict fewer babies will be conceived in the future as men run for cover in the aftermath of this sad current era where men have been open sport.
31
Ronan Farrow is an impressive young man and proving himself to be one the finest investigative journalists of our time. I wish him great good luck and Godspeed.
18
@Dabney L he's an opportunist and fortune seeker, in my opinion
5
I am thankful for people like Ronan Farrow who do not buck under pressure to try to find the truth about what is really happening inside the entertainment power structure.
It was widely believed that unsavory things were happening in that industry, but it was mostly urban myth. Thanks to Farrow’s reporting we now know that at least some of it was true, and god knows what other nefarious things these executives are hiding, mostly done at the expense of women, who had to service said power structure.
Hopefully, more truth will come out and clear the path for more serene and fair work environments.
17
Despite the incredible work Ronan Farrow has done, there does seem to be something unusual going on in the Farrow household, whether it’s with Mia or her kids. I’m not saying on NBC’s side, but it’s hard to tell at the moment what is happening specifically and Farrow’s fight, held in public, seems related to both publicity and the kind of attention-getting drama other Farrows have long been involved over in. But it’s not a court of public opinion here, more will come out: facts.
7
As a survivor of domestic and sexual violence, I am grateful for Ronan taking on this odious subject to shine a light in dark places.
There is much, much more of this than anyone who hasn’t been personally touched by it can imagine.
21
I have never had any reason to question Matt Lauer's character. I could tell from 20 years of his pandering foolishness he had none.
NBC is complicit for enabling this hack.
15
Bravo to Ronan Farrow for his investigative journalistic standards and for continuing to pursue the story of the high level sexual misconduct in these mega-powered news organizations.
If NBC did not go to outside investigators and tried to protect Lauer, then more power to Mr. Farrow. Going after the hand that feeds you to cover the truth takes an extraordinary amount of guts.
As one of the millions of #MeToo victims in the world, I am glad money can’t buy everyone’s silence. It seems to work in the White House, but investigative journalism has not yet succumbed completely yet.
Bravo Mr. Farrow.
15
Lauer has always been suspect IMHO.
3
Religious and philosophical folks have always said it. Too much love of money, fame, and power deeply corrupt us.
3
The rape probably wasn't real.
Whatever Matt Lauer did, he was punished for it, I think. This book is just superfluous. It would be better if people ignored this. There are so many serious events going on in the country, while we spend time rehashing an old settled matter.
11
@A.G. -
What? “If it’s a legitimate rape ...”, again?
What is the matter with older white men in Missouri? Why do they think women aren’t allowed to say “no!”.
17
What is the matter with YOU assuming the post was from a white male. Racism and sexism have to stop. Start with yourself and look in the mirror.
As a female - which I am - who occasionally drank with male coworkers and even, horror, had sex with a few and have no regrets whatsoever, my opinion is he may have assumed it was consensual, since he had been drinking. This is a he said she said issue. Clearly, Matt Lauer was sleazy, there is no evidence of rape and this really should not be in the paper of the caliber of The NY Times.
11
@Steph -
Well, if you don’t know I can’t help you.
I am not a fan of Matt Lauer, but this woman's story is hard to believe. She claims she was raped by him but then continued to have a sexual relationship with him when they returned to New York, according to Farrow's book. That makes no sense. They both seem like awful individuals. He is cheating on his wife (and kids) and she is sleeping with a married man.
140
@John Jabo Here is the thorny part of the issue: awful people can also be rape victims.
15
@John Jabo I’m not a fan of Farrow, but I think I know Lauer’s character well enough to conclude he did what has been alleged. Furthermore I suggest its based on the mindset that women lie about rape to sully a man’s character that makes it hard for you to believe Farrow.
3
@John Labo so many men on here pontificating that carrying on a relationship with an abuser “makes no sense”. Oblivious to the facts about how victims react to rape, often by those they love or have a relationship with. Would a little bit of empathy and less mansplaining be so hard?
6
I'm surprised the New York Times didn't provide a link to Matt Lauer's complete letter. I find the letter convincing.
It would have been better if Lauer had spent one or two sentences on the bigger picture, saying that he supports the greater sensitivity and awareness that the MeToo movement has brought, and acknowledge the pain it can cause and the ways it has sensitized him. He seems a little clueless in not acknowledging that his position at NBC could have been seen as having potential influence on someone's career, even if they worked in a different part of the network. But he is right to call out what he sees as false accusations. It was an affair, which can cause pain in many places.
I don't know much about Nevins, but while blaming the victim has been an unfortunate part of history, it is not always the only way to look at it.
You can see Lauer's letter here:
̌https://www.thedailybeast.com/matt-lauer-blames-his-accuser-brooke-nevils-she-certainly-didnt-cry?via=newsletter&source=DDAfternoon
5
One of these days people will realize that many, many alpha males consider unbridled access to females nothing more than a perquisite.
29
As long as Farrow continues to point fingers at Woody Allen, who was CLEARED of any wrongdoing, anything he says or writes is muckraking to me, and not to be believed in its surface.
21
If you think someone not getting convicted of a felony "clears" them of wrongdoing, you have a very embarassing understanding of our justice system, and perhaps you should speak to some sexual assault victims about how difficult it is for someone to be convicted of rape. Woody Allen had sex with his adopted daughter after meeting her when she was 7 years old. Is it that hard to believe he sexually assaulted another one of his wifes children?
10
This comes out in a book?!?
Lauer is a philanderer but this sort of accusation comes off as profiteering and trying to sell books. I am female and his side rings more true to me than hers.
39
Corporate behaviors tied to economic power. Compromises everyone it touches.
18
Anyone who claims to know to a reasonable degree of certainty what really happened when the pair met in that Sochi hotel room ten years ago is fooling herself or himself.
Given the peculiarities, limitations, and deceptive capabilities of the human mind and memory, it may well be that neither of the people involved any longer know the complete truth.
I guess the best we can hope for is the rough justice that comes to powerful people who are exposed having self-serving relationships with people significantly less powerful and to any degree subordinate. That's never been savory behavior.
38
Not to demean Mr. Farrow's work, but if I were in the broadcast industry, where Mr. Farrow targets many of his investigations, I would have copies of consent forms ready to be signed by any party interested in having sex with me. In Ronan's singular quest never to leave any stone unturned, sexual ambiguity, a verbal yes, or a flirtatious glance cannot suffice. His approach has all the correct intentions but I am afraid that while real male predators have been exposed thanks to his reporting, many innocent men might be caught in the glare, given his zealousness.
49
And after this amount of time, it boils down to he said - she said. For anyone who has been sexually assaulted in any way, the only recourse is to go to the police and file a report. Please bring a trusted friend with you for support but file the report and if you are able to have DNA evidence taken at the police station, do so. Either that or the local hospital - or both - to ensure that if the evidence is mishandled in one scenario it (hopefully) isn't in the other. These are very, very difficult situations on every level as well as terribly difficult and painful but it is even worse to have this level of trauma invade one's life and stay there permanently without taking action with the appropriate authorities and getting the necessary counseling the victim deserves.
20
So she should have gone to the police in Russia?
18
@Thinking Person: No - the US Embassy in Russia - filed a complaint and asked for assistance from a doctor treating US employees at the embassy. Her version of the facts are unsupported and compounded by no documentation- thus becoming - years later - he said, she said. The issue of sexual assault is not whether she or he is truthful - the incident - is unsupported with documentation and proof - and thus my comments which were intended to be helpful in a set of hideous circumstances. Without it, the perpetrator walks away unscathed without prosecution - which only compounds the matter for the victim.
8
@kkm
Reportedly there are over 10,000 unprocessed rape kits stored as evidence around the country.
Should we be concerned????
6
I don't believe her. Getting that same feeling I got when I first heard of the Jussie Smollett allegations.
67
That’s one reason so many of we survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence never tell anyone. You have no idea how prevalent it is.
You are lucky.
Assuming you can tell without anything more than a hunch is part of the ongoing empowerment of the predators.
30
@Dana Lowe and your feelings are based on what except feeling? What a horrendous way to make judgments.
17
@CFXK agreed. That’s why it is called proof. Because that is what proves an assertion.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I cringed while reading Matt Lauer’s statement about the specific sexual acts. It just seemed so low rent; I am far from a prude, but I don’t need to read that again.
He could have easily said that they’d had consensual sex - not that I am suggesting that was the case at all! - and left it at that. Why didn’t his lawyer counsel him to do just that?
129
@Sherry That’s called ‘Character Assassination’.
8
@Sherry Presumably because his lawyer wrote the statement.
6
@Sherry
I think the point was that she was a willing participant and that the evening included more than she described. By her own description, she went to his hotel room twice that evening. Since the relationship continued when they got back to the United States, it doesn't sound like one brutal encounter.
28
I only wish the victim would go to the police to get people like Lauer in prison so they can’t harm anyone else. HR can’t put him in prison where he belongs. If Felicity Huffman belongs in prison surely he does.
22
@Shamrock, I wish the police would take rape victims seriously so said victims will trust them.
7
It must be noted that the #metoo witch hunt has created a Catch-22 for Matt Lauer. If he does and says nothing, the witch-hunters will argue the presumption is for guilt. And yet if he aggressively defends himself, which is his every right, he will be tarred and feathered by this same layer for daring to counter the narrative of a woman.
In fact, this state of affairs isn't progressive at all, it's deeply regressive, sexist, even neo-Victorian.
I have no idea what happened in that room in Sochi, Russia. Neither, of course, do the whole of the witch-hunters. But they are presuming guilt, not innocence. Their attitude toward fundamental democratic rights is on full display.
134
@Don Barry This is not a trial. It's a case of one person's word against another's and who the public (and the higher ups at NBC) found the most credible. The public has a right to weigh in. By characterizing this as a witch hunt, you are taking a stand as well. I do agree we are living in very fragile times and must listen to both the accuser and the accused before making a judgement. There's too much at stake to do otherwise.
Will there be an end to this? Certainly more heads have to also roll as this is surely not the end. Mr Lauer, that Ms Nevils came to your room late at night does not sit so well. If that can be proven, Ms Nevils case just bombed, IMHO. It also calls a bit more to mind, has Ms Nevils admitted or denied that all these acts did actually take place? If they all did happen and she stayed through it all, isn't that proof of complicity.
Are we seeing real overpowering sexual assault or are we seeing next day's remorse? If Ms Nevils was truly forced in all this then Mr Lauer need to have to have a criminal offense lawyer quickly.
All that I am trying to present is a search for what actually happened and if this is a string of assaults or a one time occurrence, which is truly doubtful. May the truth come out and not just some lynching before the facts are known.
9
Well maybe both are telling the truth, to a degree -- in the course of consensual acts he did something non-consensual, which is what she is referring to and which he didn't see as forced. However since he is a cheater, he knows how to lie, so what he says does not have much credibility.
26
@DS
She knew he was married, she willingly went to his room twice that evening, she told him she enjoyed the evening and she continued the relationship (with a married man) after returning to the US – I don't think she has much credibility either.
11
I don't believe it. This is a witch hunt. Why aren't you paying attention to what Lauer said: he listed everything that happened, and stressed that everything was consensual. Do you really think that if the encounter wasn't consensual then all of these acts would have occurred?
37
@Eugene Have you ever considered that what starts out as a consensual encounter can become non-consensual? Not to get into details, but based on what I understand from this article, she is alleging that one particular act was non-consensual. And of all the acts described by Lauer, the one described as rape is conveniently the very one where a person would find themselves most unable to defend oneself physically.
9
I suggest everyone read CNN story on that. I am not going to pass judgments on Mr. Lauer character as womanizer or serial philander however to accuse someone with rape and criminal sexual act with any evidence is repulsive. I think Ms. Nevils is trying to conflate NBC decision to remove Lauer from his job with an approval of her unsubstantiated allegation. Its pretty sad spectacle......
23
Just guessing that if we ever see Matt Lauer again on a television screen, it will be doing 3:00AM weather updates out of Point Barrow, AK.
5
@Brian Eagar Stop libeling Point Barrow, AK.
5
Why would a rape victim go back to the attacker over and over again and have an affair with that person? (a married man).
I respect Ronan Farrow a lot, so I expected more thoughtfulness from a reporter like him. Reports of claims like this just makes the cases of real victims of abuse and rape harder to be heard.
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@SRei Well, perhaps you would do well to actually read Ronan Farrow's reporting, instead of reading about it. Then you might have some understanding why "a rape victim (would) go back to the attacker over and over again." - something that he treats in his reporting. The thoughtfulness you expect from a reporter like him is, indeed, the thoughtfulness that he delivers. But you have to read him.
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@SRei
What does Lauer being married have to do with these accusations? Lauer doesn't seem to have been very concerned about his marital status when he was harassing and assaulting multiple women in his workplace.
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yes, they had NO knowledge of any previous misconduct but fired him within 24 hours of the first complaint. Oh yeah, I believe that:)
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This is her word against his. If he did rape her, that is a crime and she should have reported it to the police, not the HR department at NBC. Whether he’s guilty or innocent, he is still entitled to due process.
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@PCB Sexual assault and harassment should most definitely be reported to HR when it occurs in the workplace.
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I don't know whether these allegations are true. All I know is that Matt Lauer has grossed me out since he was the co-anchor on Live at 5 with Sue Simmons. He was so arrogant and slimy. I can easily see him being the person he is alleged to be. To be fair, however, I'm reserving judgment because I just don't have enough information.
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Nothing demonstrates the seriousness of a forcible felony rape more than the victim walking past the police station to the office of Ronan Farrow. I am sure Ronan will make sure the perpetrator goes to prison so he can’t attack someone else.
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This article, not unintentionally, omits the fact that Ms. Nevils ALSO stated that AFTER the alleged rape in Sochi, she proceeded to have an affair with Mr. Lauer, which she described as "consensual" and "transactional."
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Perhaps I don't understand this because I am an older man, but I question why a woman who had been violently raped by a man would have consensual sex with him back in New York. I guess I don't understand her term "transactional sex."
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@RRM
Clearly you don't.
The investment one has in their position, makes them vulnerable to a predator like Lauer. He probably misunderstands, but more likely ignores, propriety, and could care less about integrity. Meaning he thinks "consensual" when she thinks "rape".
You do not have to be female, or have been raped, to appreciate being compromised by people with power over you. Every dismissive, defensive response on Lauer's behalf is contributing to the next victim's difficulties coming forward, no matter how obvious or ambiguous the assault.
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@Not that someone are you rationalizing her response. The word “transactional” is the word she chose. Not that long detailed interpretation.
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@RRM Think of transactional like going to a prostitute. You give her something, you get sex. There is no dating or courting or hanging out. This wasn't a relationship. This was him and her having sex with no relationship (which makes sense, since he was married -- this wasn't going anywhere). It's interesting that she describes this as the "one thing" she regrets. Apparently, if he had gone on and divorced his wife, things would have been a-ok in her mind. It says a lot to me about what actually happened.
It's pretty apparent to me that the reason why this was the start (and not the finish) of the relationship is because she didn't consider it a rape or violation at the time.
1
OK.. Matt Lauer has been proven by now to be yet another letch in the media/entertainment industry.
That said.. Ronan had better have been very thourough in his research for his book.. because if he got it wrong (in any way) .. his fairly good career as an investigative writer will be toasted in one book with bad information in it. I'm honestly not sure why this book was required.... Lauer is already fired and career sidelined.
As for Matt Lauer... please just shut up and go retire quietly somewhere where nobody needs to see your or interact with you.
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@Chuck, Lauer is trying for a comeback, so, yeah, there’s a need for this book.
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Amazed that Billy Bush was forgiven so easily after degrading women the way he did. As for Matt Lauer....his career should be over unless he chooses to work for Fox. His behavior was truly bad towards women.
4
I believe her.
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I don’t!
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@J casmina Why?
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@J casmina - so hang Matt? based on what she said. What about what he said? it doesn't matter? that is what trials are for. to find the facts and then make the judgement, not by some second rate book writer and momma's boy telling a story , a one sided story at that.
4
Lauer would have been better off making no comment.
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Matt Lauer's statement simply nudged me hard toward believing Ms. Nevils. Had he simply said "Ms. Nevils is a wonderful person who I respect deeply" he might have made me pause and think he might be a gentleman.
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@sonnel 9; then people would have accused him of being vague or disingenuous. In this case, the vulgarity of publicizing their sexual behaviour has already occurred. He did the right thing to be clear, comprehensive, and seemingly honest. Ronan farrow, for all his supposed brilliance, has been long controlled by his mother. This whole narrative is driven by her initial desire to publically punish and humiliate Woody Allen.
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@sonnel but he isn't a gentleman and was finally brought down in shame. What's a shame is that he gets to live a very comfortable $$ life. If only these guys would end up in a homeless shelter.
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@sonnel But what if she's lying? Liars are not wonderful people nor are they deeply respected. To be clear, I am not calling her a liar; but nothing in this article makes Ms. Nevil's claims anymore credible than Mr. Lauer's. Moreover, the fact that Ms. Nevils proceeded to have an affair with Mr. Lauer AFTER the alleged rape (an affair which she described as "transactional" but, nonetheless, "consensual"), frankly bring what might be her otherwise credible claims into question.
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Congratulations to Ronan Farrow for his great reporting.
Thank you to Brooke Nevils for courageously coming forward.
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@fast/furious
Ms. Neville’s courage in coming forward to the police so other women will be protected from Lauer is indeed commendable. If it ever happens.
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@Shamrock : right. Because the police always believe women and follow through with investigations.
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@Anne
I’m guessing Ronan will not act as a prosecutor. Just a guess.
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I believe Lauer. Her retelling of Sochi simply doesn’t add up. Read her quotes- note the inconsistencies. Then consider her willingness to engage in repeated sexual liaisons with him once back in New York. Then consider her harassing Lauer while he was at home with his family over what she acknowledges was not a relationship at all. It was, in her words, “transactional”.
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@Jocelyn Parkland
We know he used his position to abuse women - so why do you believe him because after he raped someone she then started harassing him - his words.
I guess you believed those thousands of priest who said they didn't rape children either.
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@Citizen can I in-recommend this illogical wine? False equivalence and all.
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@Jocelyn Parkland Then he should have taken it to civil court and cleared his name, yet he did not do any such thing. It makes one wonder if he were concerned what might come out during discovery in such a suit, doesn't it?
18
i understand the gravity of this charge, but hope that ih this day and age (after MeToo has been fully formed) wouldn’t a better place for this charge been at a police station?
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@Michelle Neumann Yes.
2
@Michelle Neumann In Russia? The alleged rape took place in Russia during the Olympics involving a famous American media person whose network paid a ton of money for the right to broadcast those games.
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@Aileen Bowers Of course, she could have filed charges immediately upon coming back to America. Instead, she had a "consensual and transactional" affair with him.
1