This guy is creepy!
23
You lost me at “babe.” Is that really what women want to hear?
35
The number one category on the porno sites at the moment, is step-father/step-daughter. This is either a symptom or a root cause. I'm not sure which.
14
I say nice alternative to opioids, alcohol, cigarettes or any other vice that cause harm. If people feel less lonely and comforted without harming anyone what’s the big deal? We pay people to massage us, cut our nails, wash our hair/ what’s the difference?
15
Disappointed that the article fails to mention the role of Jack Donaghy, a former GE exec, in creating this genre nearly a decade ago.
8
i don't know whether to laugh or cry about this. this would frighten me instead of ease me into sleep.
24
I have an app that plays the sound of a dog snoring. It should not be relaxing but it is.
34
The "Proud Mom" photo is delishishly subversive: If Alan Ball & Don DeLilio went on a photoshoot. Photographer Hunter McRae deserves accolades for that outstanding picture.
16
Remember that story about some men in Japan who had relationships with their pillows? They put a anime if a sweet little school girl with big eyes on the pillow case and they took her everywhere
This is like that and just as weird and creepy.
20
I’m laughing because if there is anything guaranteed to wake me up and wind me up it’s a male of the species telling me to “calm down.”
I feel angry just from typing those words.
31
I have a real boyfriend, and listening to him chew on his hangnails, and then having him accidentally kick me when he moves his laptop, and then having two dogs begin to snore [one of whom barks in her sleep], and then having the 2/3 train pass under my apartment house every 5 minutes: all helps put me to sleep.
The easy way I found this out was to sleep somewhere else on an overnight business trip and lie in the dead-silent hotel room staring at the ceiling and wishing I was home.
If only there was ASMR for the lives we really lead.
26
Oh good grief with all the hand wringing. Lots of older people fall asleep with the TV turned on. You can have Youtube audio playing and have the screen turned off. I listen to my HeadSpace meditation app every night to help me fall asleep. So young women like to be comforted by a fake boyfriend character at night in a world where there's a lot to be anxious about. So what?
24
Shades of the seemingly interactive but fake TV family featured in "Fahrenheit 451." Yikes.
12
Great article. If 18-24 year old women tune into these videos and find any comfort in them, more power to them. Maybe the effect will be positive, reduce anxiety and depression, and allow women to fall asleep with the thought that maybe there are men out there who are really that nurturing and caring, or that it is possible to be self-cared for and comforted. The blue screen debate? That ship has sailed; while it would be wonderful if we all learned to do something other than look at our screens before we go to sleep isn’t it better that the images and sounds last heard have some soothing effect? It is hard enough for women to tune out the negative thoughts and images they hear all day and now professionals want to tell them watching these videos is no substitute for a real relationship or self-comfort. No kidding, but if there is any entertainment value, or if women find it helpful, who has a right to judge?
14
Lonely people often seek artificial means to feel loved, safe and desirable. This is a vulnerable market that many have exploited. I find it hard to believe that this young man is motivated by altruism. He's a sharp millennial businessman.
23
I found an ASMR video of a young woman with a very soft voice teaching fancy napkin folding. It was supposed to help me fall asleep.
Instead I learned fancy napkin folding -- something I was never interested in and had no idea could be so fascinating. I now also have quite a collection of square cotton napkins. Who knew they could be so expensive.
I still have trouble sleeping. But you should see how beautifully I set the table for dinner parties.
Not kidding.
136
Great article. Glad to know what that portion of the population who are losing their minds are doing these days. Mind blowing. I feel both sorry for him, and his listeners at the same time, but guess they are all bored or lonely.
14
What a fantastic, thoughtful piece. So many complex issues and questions raised here. And these videos are so strangely captivating! Kudos to the author of this article for bringing this wild trend to our attention, and for presenting it in a way that's concurrently investigative, critical, and also kind. It's hard to say how exactly these videos will help or hinder viewers but certainly this piece provides some good insight on the matter, and in the meantime, I may watch another video...!
13
As contemporary art, these videos are brilliant. It is totally manufactured which is the point of it.
11
It's odd that people are put off by this but seemingly not the expanding library of ASMR online that show women, wherein their sexualization is often implicit if not the point.
And yet people are scandalized by this? Why? Because it makes patriarchy uncomfortable to see a boy submissively seek to comfort a woman?
16
A way station between here and electronic/human hybrids.
10
The gum chewing is gross. Hasn't anyone ever commented to him that many people consider chewing gum rude behaviour?
6
Diane, it's OK. It isn't like he is trying to get a "real" dare or anything.
1
The “Rapture” must be right around the corner ...
16
More than anything I’ve encountered lately, this made me grateful I am as old as I am. Because of my age, I did not have to deal with social media while dating. This looks painful.
67
I sense a very good new business opportunity for publishers of "women's romance novels" to very simply have attractive young models passionately reading their works (via a straight-on teleprompter) with good crafted studio lighting and backgrounds... how to make $ at it (better than YouTube's pennies on the dollar)? Maybe Product placements? Would YouTube charge a cut of that sort of embedded commercials? Do they now?
6
If people want to have healthy social lives and be able to interact in a normal and reasonable manner, shouldn't they go out to meet and interact with people, not watch YouTube videos that create unrealistic hypothetical relationships? Yes, it can be uncomfortable, but most progress is made when you push boundaries - one's comfort zone, in this case.
15
@ChrisH
But first, they need a good night's sleep ;D
13
Here’s the difference an old man would bring... pure wisdom.
“OK honey take a drink. Yeah take a good swallow. Pour yourself another one. You got some kombucha in the refrigerator? Good. OK don’t forget to take your last P before you go to bed because you know you don’t wanna wake up in the middle of the night. Anything else? Oh your night prayers. ‘Dear God I bought another lottery ticket. Yeah, yeah yeah. But this time you gonna come through for me right? Good deal! I got your back God.’
OK sweetie now tuck yourself in and think about how you’re going to spend all that moola. My, oh my! Good night buttercup.”
17
Sorry. It's just plain getting weird and in ways that aren't cute.
Our children are being sucked into a virtual vortex that is making it difficult and, in extreme cases, impossible for them to forge real connections with the people right next to them or, just as important, to become self-reliant.
Videos on putting on making, how to break up, how to go to bead, how to brush your teeth, how to color. Much of it whispered least we wake the sleeping baby. Why are we infantalizing ourselves?
God help us if we ever have another crisis on the order of the Great Depression or world wars where real grit and sacrifice were essential parts of triumphing over adversity. Are we going to have the bankruptcy whisperer? Is someone going to whisper us through rationing?
It's the one two three punch of a) dumbing-down everything to a numbing factor b) even the dumbed down content is not enough; you have to experienced it virtually and c) this obsession and addiction to technology steals every waking moment, consigning those who use it to excess to lives of obesity, ill health, and self-imposed loneliness.
Forget falling asleep. It's time to wake up. No part of this is healthy. We're a nation with an addiction problem. And the worst excuse I hear constantly is that the technology is "cute" or "sexy." Just because it's small enough to fit in the palm of a hand doesn't mean it doesn't have gargantuan implications and serious consequences.
We're frittering away our lives.
63
@AhBrightWings
I couldn't agree more!
5
Its really only hypnosis.
Calm, soothing voice. Motions and repetition.
ASMR is nothing new, just a re-invention by some to monetize.
Ask the women that had ASMR youtube channels that were taken down. Not because of YouTube regulations, but in fear of stalking and harassment.
8
Definitely a 10 on a creepiness scale of 1 to 10. I would be deeply distressed if my teenager daughter listened to blather like this, and equally distressed if my teenage son was doing this on social media. It’s cult-like. If he wasn’t making money, I’ll bet his “proud mom” would be creeped out, too. Ick!
39
Just wondering...how many men watch Owen Riley's videos?
And how would he feel when he found that out?
12
@LarryAt27N
At $3 per 1000 views, I'm sure he would love it... men, women, goats, bring it on!
5
@LarryAt27N
He’d be fine with it. Millennials are very accepting of LGBTQ et al. They just hate Baby Boomers.
5
Oh dear, speechless. The Emma Chamberlain video is hilarious.
Hmm, says he's a Christian and that"most" of his followers are women between 18 & 25. What about all the gay guys--like myself--and older folks listening. Gets a little complicated doesn't it. Not the family hour Hallmark you're packaging it as. Ah, the discontents and denials of modern technology.
36
Would’ve been helpful to include an explanation of the acronym ASMR.
10
@Katherine Crosbie They give the full name near the beginning of the article: autonomous sensory meridian response. Clicking on it also links to another article where they already did a full explanation
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/04/magazine/how-asmr-videos-became-a-sensation-youtube.html?module=inline
2
The world just keeps getting weirder every day.
19
No offense, but Yuck. You're all asking for trouble. This is how people were lulled into believing a corrupt reality TV star should be leader of the free world. Danger Will Robinson.
31
I’m pretty sure this is exactly why Al Gore invented the Internet.
15
This article plays into the sexist idea that whatever teenage girls like is foolish or worrisome. The girls watching these videos are just playing out a romantic fantasy - and in a much healthier way than all the teenage boys watching hardcore pornography for hours. I would welcome an article on the effects that has on boys, or an article that (as another commentator notes) discusses the phenomenon of 'Girlfriend videos.'
34
@Laura Well put!
2
A 17-year-old...
that's all I needed to know.
Next.
8
I learned a while ago that the sounds of scrubbing and sweeping can put me into a trance. Not sure what this says about me.
Not personally keen on fake boyfriend videos. The looming visage of a straight male with his full attention and focus on me does not make me feel safe or relaxed. I wish they do not have that effect, but this is how it is for me.
I wish this young man well. Any way you can make money and be happy is good.
4
I started skimming once it became clear there wasn't actually all that much about sleep here, but I still don't see an answer to the clickbait headline.
5
Coming soon:
Part 1: any soothers will soon be bought by l Amazon as one of its cute little “small companies” —or integrates into its plan to take over the Rx and drugstore biz ; with soothability recorded wirelessly transmitted* as a measure of mental health that can be sold to employers, school admissions officers et al.
Part 2: Amazon’s monopoly power will eventually allow it to price soothability so high (assuming it does work), that it will be unaffordable for the working rabble who also cannot afford other sleep aids, from prescription pills to safe, quiet healthy homes. Blowing’ up that income gap!!!
*I just discovered my cpap use is wirelessly transferred to the provide so that MedicRe can deny coverage if I don’t comply properly.
3
It's sad to that people are getting their socialization through youtube videos these days
But I self medicate my problems with marijuana so who am I to judge?
8
Ack! Hate ASMR it is incredibly annoying. I would have better luck falling asleep to either silence or out loud noise....this is like The Haunting of Hill House where the house whispers to her. I think most folks with misophonia cannot tolerate ASMR subliminal level noises.
2
@Marti Mart
I don't know that I have that, but the whispering and the finger clicking put me on edge just looking at - listening to - parts of the video here. Not quite as bad as rustling potato chip bags, but . . .
1
Why does everything in America have to be about money? ‘Buy this weighted blanket.’ ‘I’m making all this money on YouTube by taking advantage of womens’ loneliness, because that’s what Jesus would do.’ Give me a break.
12
I think, uh, I would, uh, want, uh, boyfriend, uh, more articulate.
13
This is the sadest thing i have ever read about human interaction... beyond pathetic for all involved. Lets lie to ourselves for a good night sleep...?
7
I am concerned about the 500,000 youngsters (virtual girlfriends and boyfriends(?)) who invest themselves in this young man's product. The boy himself sounds like a nice enough kid, but what of the lonely youth who "need" him to calm their troubled souls?
For the teens and young adults crushing on Dennis Riley et alia, just remember: they aren't going to actually take you to the dance, rub your feet, and make babies with you. Don't become dependent on a "Loving Boyfriend" when there's probably a goofy, imperfect, fun, sweet, fumbling guy or gal on your campus or in your neighborhood who would love to hold your hand in the flesh.
12
go out and meet people in person and get real partners lol yeesh the world has gone bonkers (33/m)
7
Markedly stupider every day. Humanity is doomed.
12
This article is silly. Look, if you can't handle a video of “unrealistic and idealized perspective of what a partner can or should be," then I think you should unplug your phone and your TV and live in an underground bunker for the rest of your life.
5
A boring dystopia.
3
Bag the makeup brush, dude. That's taking the sensitive thing way too far. You don't want to make your girlfriend look like a clown.
4
Pathetic, creepy, and sadly disturbing all at the same time packaged neatly in a business model. To think that this is actually appealing to many is a loud cry for help from Millennials. All these dating apps and multitudes electronic communication methods and yet a generation is more lonely and anxious than ever. What won't fix this deep seated human need is more 'digital' anything even though Silicon Valley would like you to think otherwise. Why fix the root cause when there is good money in prolonging the problem?
37
@JeffB Just an FYI -- most viewers of these videos are not Millennials. Millennials are about 23-38 years old (depending on which source you rely on), and as the piece reports, the majority of viewers of Owen's content are 18-24 -- they're primarily members of Gen Z.
15
I'm 17.
I have no real education or any real life experience.
I can rub things.
and I'm really rich.
what can go wrong?
9
I couldn't even make it through two minutes of the cringe-inducing video.
5
I am pretty sure this kid will grow up to be quite the canny grifter. Good luck to the people who cross paths with this guy as an adult.
11
New lows of the Internet age.
5
Just, well, icky and gross! And I can imagine other, unintended audiences listening to this young man purr. Mr. Riley is just one of many of his generation who seem to disdain traditional career aspirations and wish to achieve fame and notoriety based on producing nothing of real value. The huge growth of social media "influencers" and other such bobbleheads is a primary symptom of this disease.
2
I think people are complicated and when you're a teen, they can seem downright scary. I think he's creepy, and I would not like my 14-year-old to think that's what boyfriends or girlfriends are like. This is very all-about-you kind of talk, that sometimes narcissists use to convince people that they their your soulmate - been there done that.
On the other hand, when you look at what else they're watching, this is relatively tame. It does not have sexual overtones or gratuitous violence (so much the case today), and I think we actually need more things that stress friendship and being kind to each other. Is it wrong for people to share what they love or might make you feel comfort? Kids should expect to be treated well, and many of them don't learn to expect it until later in life if they've had a hard time. More videos like this could help some of them. I wish he would balance his talk a little more to be more of a friend and less of a servant.
So yeah, he's kinda icky. But, I think that about boy bands and lots of other things that teens think are cool.
9
Wow, so disturbing. My mind went instantly to Vonnegut's "media wall" in F451. I shudder to think what my almost-adult children will face if they choose to raise children of their own one day...I don't think I'd have the courage to become a parent again given the state of things. I know every generation has had their "things are going down the toilet" complaints, and technologies like the radio have been central to those complaints, which of course seems so silly in this era, but all of this internet/AI/technology feels so very different. Ominous. Ugh.
23
@Diane
I had the same thought about "Fahrenheit 451." (The author is Ray Bradbury.)
5
These content of the sample videos make me uncomfortable, but I have experienced the sensation that ASMR videos apparently induce. I know it by a different name, though. In music circles, it's known as frisson. As a singer, I feel it quite often, especially when performing or listening to certain choral arrangements.
3
But are videos (and Internet everything) NOT real life?
Is that a distinction with less and less of a difference?
Might be the single, flat out creepiest thing I've seen in the entire internet age. The whispering, the manufactured hurt, the terrible acting? Folks, we are living in a time when women use this little weirdo cooing at them to get to sleep by pretending he is there boyfriend? Suddenly porn seems innocent by comparison.
23
@lawrenceb56 - Women used to put posters of Michael Jackson over their beds. I never understood that phenomenon.
3
@tom harrison I don’t know about women, but when I was a tween, it was David Cassidy. At the same age, my daughter’s crush was Ashton Kutcher. Girls who are not ready for a boyfriend have long cherished fantasies of when that day comes. The only difference I see here is that the actor breaks the fourth wall, appearing to speak directly to the viewer. Absent more research, I think everyone should calm down about this phenomenon. I am a whole lot more scared when Trump talks to us and our kids.
10
“watching too much of this kind of role-play may cause an “unrealistic and idealized perspective of what a partner can or should be.” Isn’t that exactly the problem of internet porn, too?
27
This is so creepy. That is all.
9
Our future is going to be sex dolls and virtual boyfriends.
16
LOL! Anyone with a boyfriend knows how badly you sleep with a boyfriend.
15
@anonymouse - I can't stop laughing. Try a boyfriend with a CPAC machine and growling dogs all night because you took their spot.
11
This is the natural extension of the Automated Telephone Service Representative for the masses.
When Bill Gates reads, he pulls a paper book out of a book bag, and takes notes on a yellow, analog note pad with a real pen. If he has a question, I'll bet the author will talk to him. I'm sure, when he has a question about something commercial he calls a real consulting human at whatever company it is. His assistants may call the computers, however.
This is our gift from the tech industry. If a peasant needs help, a call to the computer will suffice, or an online "chat" with a computer. Need a human relationship? Well, these You Tube videos are just versions of the rapidly maturing Japanese technology that's been around for years. The kid in his bedroom is superfluous and quickly will be replaced with virtual reality.
In Japan, people die alone in apartments without notice. A whole industry has evolved from the need to clean up the messes. If you want a glimpse into where this technology leads, look up the Japanese word, "Hikikomori." That word will lead you toward the deepest recesses of human isolation in the industrialized world.
It's all on a path, toward where the rich people will not have to suffer conversation with the masses; the ultimate virtual, gated community.
6
How about we learn to self sooth? This is what babies learn and what we need to keep teaching our children as they grow up to be independent adults.
7
Listening to a teenage boy telling me to calm down is not going to help me sleep. Maybe this is what I should listen to before a workout, if the workout is boxing.
28
@Jules Montand
:clapping:
7
Is there no one left who can buck up and fend for themselves? The emotional weakness of our present society truly depresses me.
12
ASMR is one thing. A 17-year old role-playing a role for which he has zero experience is another. So weird. So creepy. I just cannot even wrap my head around it.
My own young teenager needs to be reminded - repeatedly - that her youtube channels are not real. The people on them are characters, playing roles and slave to their youtube channels and personalities.
I'm always a little surprised by the role the parents of these young youtubers play - always supportive, always encouraging. It is baffling to me.
15
This isn’t a new idea. A show called “The Continental” aired on Los Angeles TV in the 1950s, with a suave host offering a glass of champagne to the camera. (It was later spoofed by Christopher Walken on Saturday Night Live.)
Personally, I don’t think I could watch one of these “boyfriend” videos without laughing, which would probably keep me awake.
9
"Illness, fatigue, depression, rigidity of personality, constriction, isolation, closed, guarded, anti-social behaviors, range of addictions."
Each are signs of “bonding” deprivation. In this context, "bonding" is defined as the combination of emotional and physical closeness to another human being — a biologically-based need.
Sound familiar?
4
Quit looking at the sleep disrupting screens so much. Get off anxiety-producing social media. Learn to limit the amount of all media you take in. Go to sleep and get out of bed at consistent times.
8
Another step in the inexorable replacement of human community by digital community.
4
It would be quite interesting to see the relationship status of the women watching these videos. Are they lonely single people wishing they had a partner? Or people in unhappy relationships? Or people in happy relationships who nevertheless enjoy the fantasy?
3
@A They could be people wanting a good laugh before bed.
8
Teenagers seem so much more lonely in the US than when I was growing up. We actually talked in person. Many rarely actually talk anymore. They just text. People want/need intimacy and interaction. I this kind of communication just adds to feelings of alienation.
23
Hmmm, this is just flat out creepy and sad. I long for the 90s when personal computers weren't ubiquitous and feeling frustrated about life meant you had to figure things out on your own or find someone, in real-time, to help out. We are losing ourselves, our freedom, and our minds. Besides the money, he's making how can his parents possibly believe this is a good thing for anyone. And how will this affect Dennis? Where will he be in 5 years, how will this influence the type of man, partner, the human being he will become.
19
As a middle-aged mom of two, Chef John from Food Wishes has a similar effect on me :)
10
What will these kids think of next? It is creative, and I'll support anything relaxing without drugs nowadays. Although it may be acknowledged even already as perhaps ephemeral, time will tell--until the next Internet phenomenon.
3
This is a poorly presented and argued article. First off, Friendly Girlfriend videos have been an ASMR trope for years. I’m not sure why that was not mentioned, and why it seems this piece is suggesting men came up with that particular subgenre.
Secondly, I take great issue with the psychologists’ issues with these videos. Teenagers realize these videos are fictional and these people are playing characters. I don’t know why these psychologists think teenagers can tell the difference between reality and fiction in TV and movies but not YouTube videos.
Third, the line about how some psychologists are not convinced that these videos benefit anyone is a misleading and pointless line. They benefit me. Before I knew the name for ASMR, I suffered pretty severe insomnia. It was a NYT article in 2012 or 2013 where I first learned the accepted term for the phenomenon I’ve experienced all my life, primarily through Bob Ross episodes and close attention when I was young (someone sketching my face, e.g. in art class or in Central Park, was the most powerful trigger). Now I fall asleep within half an hour of laying down almost every night, which is a vast improvement. These are facts. It is no longer appropriate to be skeptical of this phenomenon or its benefits. And sure, blue light etc from the video is not helpful, but most of the time the effects of ASMR are stronger, and if not, well, I just lay my iPad face down so I can still hear the video without seeing the light.
41
@Mark T Agreed. I'm very skeptical of this idea that people don't know the difference between media and real life. We all know that no one is going to dote on us that way in real life (except maybe in a 30 minute massage session that costs $100) and that's why these videos are nice. And usually they're women, (which is also heavily criticized for its sexualizing), so why not men? People need to chill out about ASMR. If you don't get it, just move along.
13
I think of this as the next step in a broader trend, that being that a certain subset of people find associating with other people unbearably challenging.
In this case it's people who want the soothing and supporting part of having a boyfriend without having to deal with the needs of an actual boyfriend.
Another example of this trend are guys that turn to pornography and gaming because they either can't or don't want to put in the work to be in a romantic relationship.
I don't know the solution here but I suspect we need to somehow either make interacting with people less traumatizing or help people to cope with the trauma that interacting with people seems to entail.
61
@James Jones Yes. My psychologist spouse has long said that where men use porn, women use romance novels/TV/entertainment. Both genres are so highly unrealistic that frequent consumption of either can damage your expectations and feelings about what sex or love "should be," making it very difficult to have healthy relationships with real people.
20
@James Jones
It's just a form of narcissism. As you said, they want the benefits of a SO but not to have to work to actually meet someone else's needs. In the long run, they either grow up and accept that nobody is there just to meet their needs and they have to reciprocate, or they don't grow up and end up angry and bitter because no actual person wants anything to do with them.
6
That’s happened in Japan already.
It doesn’t appear that I can post a link to it, but if you search for the phrase, “Japanese man 'marries' Hatsune Miku,” you’ll find one widely reported example.
2
Listening to a recording of thunderstorms and rainfall puts me to sleep. I am my own best boyfriend.
159
ASMR I can understand. It effects the brain perhaps similar to how the infant brain is effected by a mother's soothing voice and the soft noises of the nursery. It keys into our earliest memories. And, at first when I read this article I though "oh well, just another weird thing for kids to get into because it reminds them of Daddy." But there may also be a really big downside to all this, and it's the forming of unrealistic expectations for our real life partners. Other people are just that--people--and they aren't there to make us feel good all the time. Sometimes they don't feel good and need us. But if someone is used to calling up a video to soothe them all the time, when they need it, oh, that could be big trouble later on.
Me, I have a cat. I can pick him up and port him from room to room, whenever I need him. He's a mushy-cat. But even he is insistent, as he is every day at a certain time, when he likes to curl up on my shoulder and purr me into a nap. So even a pet, who is ostensibly there to fill our needs, sometimes has his own needs beyond just food, water and a clean litter box. Or maybe that's just my weirdo cat.
41
Creepy. Especially the messaging that women need someone to calm them and take care of them. Reminds me of the profile for a controlling stalker or abusive type of partner. Ick. I couldn't even listen to to one. Just the transcript and description of what he says creeped me out.
174
Yeh...HE'S 17. Not ok.
12
@Desertbluecat
It's unfortunate that the article has so little context. Your defenses are up about the messaging, but messaging in ASMR is not the point.
First of all, you should know that the vast majority of ASMR is made by women for an audience of both genders. This is not a "controlling guy" thing.
In general, tone matters more than anything else. The tone of voice is always calm and soothing, regardless of the words. In fact, the words are often completely inaudible. ASMR is not like a podcast.
The length must be 20-40 minutes. Long enough for a listener to fall asleep, or at least get relaxed.
Performers meet these two requirements, tone and length, by making up basic scenarios and ad libbing in a calm voice for the required time. This gives you the "overly caring boyfriend," but also the "overly helpful librarian," the "overly chatty bank clerk," the "overly thorough doctor," the "overly obsessive laundry folder" etc.
From the comments being posted, it's clear that by publishing this article without the necessary context, the NYT has succeeded only in provoking its readers, not in enlightening them.
13
I had not heard of these videos before. Went noodling around YouTube. This is... strange. The whispering just sounds like hissing to me, and I definitely am not the audience for a teenaged boy to be muttering under his breath at me in my own house (thanks no, I get plenty of that all day at work/school).
Something for everyone, I guess?
19
@J.
"whispering just sounds like hissing to me,"
J., get a hearing test -- that's a symptom.
1
@dwalker Oh, hooey. Sounds like hissing to me, too, and my hearing's fine (recently tested). I find the ASMR thing annoying. I think it's more a question of different strokes for different folks. ASMR isn't for me. Doesn't mean I'm going deaf.
1
Agree that this is a recreation of the RADIO VOICE that kept a generation enrapt --THE SHADOW KNOWS, ect. My Mom did her ironing to these.
Unfortunately the lure of the mechanical as opposed to the actual presence of a human is just another version, altho currently less crude, of phone sex. We are almost at the point of sealing ourselves away in an isolation tube and having the brain stimulated because actual human interaction has been hijacked by profiteers. Time for a reset.
18
Bizarrely creepy. What happened to reality? Learning how to deal with reality? Learning how to make actual real friends instead of paying (with ad-views) for fake friends? And how about that classic formative experience for (most) teenagers - learning to be an adult with some independence, as in "no longer needing mommy/daddy/stuffed animal at bedtime"?
In fact, maybe these digital device addicts should just go back to the stuffed animal and blankie. I'm sure there are plenty of wholesome money-loving homeschooled Christian boys willing to sell them those, as well.
76
I hope he moves on from $3 per thousand viewers to a genuine role where his caring skills and empathy can be put to better use (e.g. nursing or a similar profession).
109
@Steve Williams
This person is pursuing this precisely to escape working in a hospital or the like.
5
@Steve Williams Why should he when he can make more doing this.
2
I prefer to listen to 10-hour, YouTube loops of purring cats.
86
@David
I play purring cat vids for my cats to get them to sleep. It works!
5
@David Why not try a real cat? In addition to the purring sound, you can touch them, and when they lie next to you they are nice and warm (especially pleasant on cold winter nights)
5
"Proud Mom" photo by Hunter McRae is the cherry on top of this article. Perfectly captures the parental complicity in today's online sell-out culture. Like a still from an upcoming David Cronenberg movie.
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@J
Or Diane Arbus redux.
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@J
So true. None of this is normal, and it upsets me that teenage girls night watch this to fall asleep. Will they then expect their real relationships to be like this?
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@J Agreed. I always wonder about the parents in these situations...
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I recommend looking up "Japanese Woman Fries and Egg", an entry from the Pictures for Sad Children comic series.
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Can we get an elderly hunk to do one for grannies trying to sleep? I get Alexa to play Rachel Maddox podcast and fall asleep to dissembling Republicans. This - age appropriate - would be so much better.
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I can't sleep well if my partner is with me. Give me peace, quiet and an empty bed when I sleep.
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@Realist
Yeah. Maybe if he wants it to be realistic, he could snore loudly, just like real boyfriends are apt to do.
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I would be too distracted by his lipstick and eye shadow to relax.
Watching a pre-1960 movie helps me relax. More recent movies have a lot of scene-cutting that can be difficult to process. Turn the lights off and run a movie made within the past year and observe how frequently the screen flashes.
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@Lynn in DC
You’re right. Shots in a recent Ridley Scott movie averaged 1.4 seconds.
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@DD and Lynn in DC
Insightful comments, thanks. In the 1920s, the Soviet filmmaker Sergei Eisenstein, Wikipedia says, "was a pioneer in the theory and practice of montage" involving occasional quick cuts. He likely couldn't have known he'd created a monster. Today's movie trailers (we used to call them "previews") are the worst, very disorienting.
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At first I thought ASMR was a product of the internet, a viral trend that I was struggling to understand because I’ve never felt (or noticed) the tingling sensations ASMRers experience. Then this past weekend at a restaurant, the waiter came over with a good bottle of wine and while he detailed its origins he rubbed the bottle up and down with his hand. A friend sitting across from me shuddered and said his spine and neck tingled from watching it.
This article in particular blew my mind because it illuminated such a niche genre of ASMR and also gave me conflicting feelings about how young the people are that are turning to it as a solution for sleeplessness and anxiety. In a world where the majority of our time is increasingly spent developing relationships and experiencing life behind our screens and thus isolating us from “real world” experiences, is ASMR rising in popularity because we’re desperate to feel something real, even if it’s simulated?
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@Claire Smith
Oh good grief what an over reaction. "Desperate to feel something real!?!?" Please. Pretty sure teenagers are feeling all the feelings, volume turned up to 11, all the time. I mean, remember what it was like to be a teen? Everything was real. In any event, it's soothing in the same way that people like listening to rain on a tin roof or the sound of waves. I've experienced it for as long as I can remember-- 3 or 4 are my earliest memories-- and it's just a thing. It's a part of my body's physiological reactions to stimuli in the same way that drinking a warm cup of tea on a cold day feels pleasant. There's no relationship whatsoever between listening to ASMR videos and my 'real life' or other relationships. Just like listening to bluegrass or metal or a symphony is not an attempt to hide from my real life or the burdens of interacting with another human.
It's not 'rising in popularity' as much as it's being discovered and shared. When I was a 4 year old in the '80s, I couldn't hop into the internet and find other people who experienced it.
What would all of these hand-wringers prefer people do to fall asleep? Ambien? Alcohol? Weed? Xanax?
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Fabulous! I love it. Next step, robot bed partners that do the same thing. Except they’ll hold you. You’ll feel their simulated breathing and heart beat. They’ll call you by name, and tell you they care. They’ll ask you how your day was - and actually listen.
I’ll take two right now!
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@CA
They'll never actually listen
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@MJN Sure they will. And then, based on what you said, they'll pitch you some products!
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That already exists in Japan.
This happened there, too:
https://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2018/11/12/national/japanese-man-marries-virtual-reality-singer-hatsune-miku-hologram/
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Fretting about the blue light is missing the point. These videos aren't about falling asleep; they are simply a G-rated, romantic corner of the on-line fantasy space, with the other extreme of one axis in that space being occupied by ruder content, another axis being occupied by story rather than personality, and so on.
That young man should take care to manage his brand; this entertainment space will only grow.
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I dated a woman once who, whenever we were apart, insisted on nightly calls so she could sleep. To her, it was about not being alone. Something about knowing someone was ‘there’, even if only their voice was present, helped her to relax for sleep.
Studies have also proven that people prefer to sleep with a partner rather than alone, despite the fact that this is usually less physically comfortable. Perhaps ASMR is the best of both; the security and comfort of having someone ‘with’ you and also the physical comfort of being able to stretch out in your own bed by yourself.
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I'm a recent ASMR fan (last 12 months), but my catch is that I don't watch the videos, I just listen to them. I'm not too much into the roleplay stuff. I like whisper and gentle speaking videos and the content to me doesn't matter; it's the soothing voices that I like. Again, I don't watch those types of ASMR videos. The ones I DO watch are almost always craftspeople making things, but not talking. I also enjoy shoe-shining and shoe/boot/anything restoration. One of my faves is a Japanese craftsman making paper the old fashioned way. My original "granddaddy" of ASMR was/is Bob Ross; I got into him in the late 80s on my local PBS station. He combines everything I love: art/craftsmanship, gentle talking, natural sounds of his brushes on canvas.
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@Alex M. Pruteanu
I have a 50 pound black and tan hound who is actually devoted to me and to a great sleep for both of us. She prefers a nine o'clock bedtime and begins lobbying with direct eye contact just after "ALL IN" with Chris Hayes begins. We sleep back-to-back with not a sliver of light between us. We awaken sublimely rested when the sun comes up.
Science reports that women with dogs had this figured out ages ago and don't find this creepy at all!
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@Martha Haley, funny thing is I never use ASMR videos to fall asleep because I have no issues there; I just like to hear them because they're relaxing. The ones I do watch, the crafts ones, are just simply fascinating and I love seeing people make things with their hands. I know tons of people in my life who find my like for ASMR whisper videos creepy, but I think they're confusing intellectual pleasure or relaxation with some sort of sexual pleasure--which isn't true at all with ASMR. At least for me.
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