Loneliness and Its Antidote on Orcas Island

If he's alone, who's taking the videos?

"Despite my surroundings, breathing in air so fresh I could taste the oxygen, I felt a sadness creeping in." Really? You're a 31-year-old guy who is on assignment from the NEW YORK TIMES to write about your travels -- a dream job, by any measure -- and yet you decide to focus on how sad and lonely you feel because you're spending your birthday in a stunning natural place without a partner? I guess these pieces are designed to appeal to Millennials, who are reportedly self-centered and see the world as a sort of cardboard backdrop for their Instagram photos. I hope I'm wrong (on both counts).

So is the Times going to reconsider "eco travel" next year? The animals are trouble due to our over consumption, yet they still promote 42 places in 1 year! I hope the media gets in the game to promote changing travel tastes.

Whale watching? Really? At best it's harassment and at worst it is a clear contributor to the decline of the species for the sake of human amusement. Nice that a short section about the much-debated morality of the industry was included, but the fact that the author felt compelled to do it anyway is disappointing. Leave them alone.

Ugh “me me me me”. I can identify with the authors plight, for sure, but save it for the memoir. There is so much you could write about the San Juans!

"The farm was dealing with a duck overpopulation problem, and Zach had selected one of the older ones to be our dinner." - So much for being an animal sanctuary. Geesh.

This makes me glad I don't live on Orcas.

When Zack turns 50, there is a good chance is going to think that VLog is one of the most trite, solipsistic things he did in his 30s.

My wife and I have lived on Orcas Island now for 31 years. I've traveled around the world, and Orcas is still my favorite place to live.

Wonderful series of columns. I have enjoyed everyone as well as the videos. This is NY Times at its best and Sebastian, you are great!

Everyone has their own emotions, but I've never felt lonely on a hike in the wilderness. The quiet of the alpine, an old growth forest, or the desert is one of the loveliest sounds imaginable. When you can hear your own heartbeat while walking, now that is a thrill of companionship. All of which can be rapidly wrecked by a duo or trio who don't have a clue that their city voices carry very far in the silence of the wilderness. Still, Mr Modak makes a good case for finding friends and a birthday party while traveling to the outermost.

Sebastian, I am so glad you had an enjoyable time visiting Orcas Island. My wife and I have lived here since 1996, and I’ve been the Executive Director of the Orcas Island Chamber of Commerce & Visitors Center for 13 years. You sampled many of the Orcas Island attractions, but found your satisfaction and peace of mind hiking in beautiful, wooded forest trails ... observing gorgeous sunsets aboard our ferries ... and connecting with “Orcasians” over a dinner celebrating your birthday. Yep, that’s Orcas Island.

Was a little jarring to read about the unfortunate old duck sacrificed for a birthday dinner.

I have been to Orcas countless times over the last 35+ years. It is but one of many jewels in the San Juans (just ask Oprah!). However, it is also likely the snobbiest (and I've also been to private Blakely countless times as well). Come in the off season and you're likely to get the cold shoulder from the locals. More than once I've overheard the "glad the invading tourist types are all gone!" conversations, even though tourism is its life blood. Once was challenged at gunpoint walking on a remote but public road. San Juan and Lopez are much more friendly and welcoming in the off season.

You must go back and meet up with Scott and Judy. I promise you, you will be friends for life. Beautiful island.

I've camped numerous times on Orcas. Usually 4th of July for a few days. Moran is a great place but if I were to make a recommendation, it would be Doe Bay. Right on the water and you can either camp or stay in a structure. It offers a fantastic eating establishment and the best series of hot tubs I've had the pleasure of using. Warning: it's clothing optional at the tubs and it's not unusual to see families with children "getting back to nature" if you know what I mean. If this is not your style, check out the Rosario Resort. Very comfortable, very old and wonderful place to spend a few days. Also on the water.

Beautiful article about a favorite place - - but truly sad for the duck.

It’s a beautiful place, an island sized Spa. Want to really relax and appreciate nature ? Visit the San Juan Islands. Not on a Holiday, not even on a weekend, if you can avoid it. We visited for a few days in the middle of a week, it was uncrowded, unspoiled and magnificent. Enjoy.

What a lovely article. My nephew lives on Orcas Island He visited here with me this summer and I was intrigued by his descriptions of his chosen home. Since I have always traveled alone since the death of my husband, now nineteen years ago, I can truly understand the gratifying silence of being with one's thoughts and undisturbed of the distraction of others. As a writer, I believe that for me, this is the absolute finest manner of travel. As my husband and I traveled only with each other, I now feel his caring presence in any venture I undertake. It is a deeply calming and wonderful gift. D.

The kindness of strangers that the author has experienced all over the world buoys my spirits about the future of human kind. The species might yet learn to treat each other this way globally. Thanks for hope, Seth.

I wonder how alone a person can truly feel knowing that what they're experiencing and the pictures that they're taking are going to be posted on one of the most read news outlets in America. Is it an inauthentic attempt at solitude, or just solitude followed by its antithesis? I don't believe that these two experiences can coexist, at least on a deeper level. Not to say that aloneness and social media are mutually exclusive. Social media is a person's "solitude safety net," ready to swoop in when someone begins to feel alone, to actually have a shot at solitude. What I mean by that is there is always a level of disingenuousness that comes with today's mindset of the majority of a younger generation (sharing experiences via social media and, in ways, living through how you're able to represent yourself online). And the people that truly feel alone either suppress that through social media or choose not to participate in it. The further issue is then that all of the other people on social media are doing the same thing. Are affirming the beliefs of others that this is somehow authentic, and seemingly representing lives that are far from any one person's day to day. It's a messed up cycle. What I would give to go back to the times of travel literature before the internet.

The solo traveler can also add to the experience of families he meets on his journey. Many years ago at Orcas Island's Rosario quayside cafe, my wife and I befriended an Australian man traveling the globe alone. Sipping his morning coffee nearby, he made a casual comment about the sparkling morning light that prompted us to invite him to join us at our table where we were awaiting breakfast. An hour later, we parted but rejoined him again that evening, this time with our sons, for an evening cruise through the sound. We never saw him again but have never forgotten the pleasure of his company.

I’m one of the people who sent you a tip via Instagram—glad you made it to see the phosphorescence at night! I live near Orcas and go there often, this a lovely summary of the joys and beauties and special places on the island. It’s such a magical place. But also this is a wonderful portrait of the challenge and joys of traveling solo. There’s nothing quite like opening your heart toward strangers when you travel alone (I actually met my husband of 18 years while traveling alone). Also to be resourceful, not only with getting around in a strange place, but with being the one completely in charge of turning toward the ecstasy and wonder of the moment—no one else can do that for you when you travel alone. It’s empowering to shape your own experiences and attitude. Loved this article and I so appreciate your sharing your journey Sebastian!

Great article. I'm a solo retiree who travels several times a year for the past 10 years. I'm seeing an increase in the number of other solo retiree travelers who are perfectly fulfilled being primarily solo and then periodically deciding when and to whom they'll chat with. Constant distractions and pressured small talk? Not needed; not wanted. I definitely appreciate Modak's perspective.

Happy belated birthday! Sebby, enjoyed this one because of the feelings so vividly portrayed. Looking forward to your reflections on Munich. Safe travels.

Wonderful a young person starts a journey with the world as one's stage, eventually nature becomes a backdrop for the self. It takes time, practice and training to fully absorb into a consciously aware solitude mind-state as evolved from loneliness, -which is laden with a multitude of fears, discomfort of uncertainties and essentially not knowing oneself. Designed seclusion can illuminate the inner self, it forces the mind to access other senses and perspectives. If one truly is an adventurer and explorer, they will need to arrive at the edge of their experiences one day and rappel down into the deep and infinite realm of being in solitude. There is no other way. As Nikola Tesla said (pf);the mind is keener in solitude, originally thrives in seclusion, to be alone is where ideas are born" For the author, his trip just started..

I was there too. on a boat. took the same pictures. was stuck in town because the wedding had the taxi scheduled. a local gave us a ride back to the marina. the farmers market was charming.

Nice, but what I really want to know is the origin of the dog's name, Audrey Hepburn.

I spent my Birthday, on Labour Day, alone, too. In Bellingham, WA. not far from Orcas Island. Perched right on the edge of Bellingham Bay, Bellingham, itself, can feel like an island.

I like this momentary pause from the normally scheduled programming. As a solo traveler, I totally understand those moments of solitude that can lead the mind into endless ellipses of self-reflection and meditations about life and motivations. A solo journey to oneself, if you will. Sometimes you find the truth in the world around you... or the world is a distraction from the truth. But in any case, each journey is a step closer. The beauty of travel is that it truly is all about the journey; the destination is just an excuse for the journey. Thanks for sharing the experience.

If you were to see Orcas Island from the water or from the air you'd have to admit that it is a rather large "speck of land." I've visited the San Juans by sailboat, ferry, and car, including Orcas. The islands are a grand place, especially if you can come when visitation is on the low side (probably before summer and after Labor Day).

Just pointing out that the "chipmunk" would be likely a Douglas squirrel. There aren't any Chipmunks on Orcas. Both are cute however.

I love this paragraph. Happy belated Birthday, Sebastian : ) "The moment I hit the water, diving headfirst into the clean, refreshing cold, I felt my emotions swing from sadness to elation. I broke the surface of the water, laughing out loud. The clouds parted and the sun shone down on me. I yelled, just because I could. I felt a rush of unbridled, childlike ecstasy because I was alone. This was my moment, and only mine."

I can totally relate to this. Interesting that sharing beauty is important. It makes it all the more beautiful.

12 years ago, when I moved to Orcas the Island seemed fairly unknown to travelers. For better or worse, we seem to keep popping up on the radar. Pro tip to visitors: please don’t walk down the actual streets, that’s what sidewalks are for. Thanks.

I miss when this section was all about the others, about our curiosity for the world, for painting new perspectives. This video (and most of the 2019 edition) is unfortunately less about the visited places and more about how reporter looks, feels and inhabits the places. But it’s not really about the places themselves. It’s about him. Maybe it’s the evolution of social media and travel, but I find thing angle less compelling.

We were also on Orcas Island for Labor Day weekend. It’s one of the most beautiful and friendly places I’ve ever visited. It almost feels like it’s from another (better) time. I’m already planning my next visit back, and I agree with the author that I would be more than happy going solo (or with others). That island is truly magic.

Great article. Re solitude vs loneliness: the former is a physical state; the latter an emotion — apples and oranges. (Wait: those are both fruits — how about apples and carrots?)

Nicely said, and Zach is truely an introvert. This life would be a challenge for me.

I remember a week spent in the remote Frank Church Wilderness in northern Idaho. Resting a badly sprained ankle while my companions left for a 6 hour horseback ride I was entirely, completely, utterly, singularly alone, listening for the elk and wolves hidden in the forest behind me. I had finished my 600 page (and only) book. With absolutely nothing to "do", I learned to be content just lying in a meadow watching the clouds for half a day. I surprised myself.

Beautifully said. Encounters with strangers after long times alone make one understand how each and every one of us is a friend.