The Plight of the Office Introvert

Plight is the correct word. The other issue is blowing your own horn. Today we're all supposed to upgrade our achievements to prove that we're the perfect applicant for the job. We must be cheerful, courteous, team players, able to work independently, handle criticism, be on call and cheerful 24/7, always healthy, always full of empathy, etc. Is there any employer out there who wants a real employee? Not the 25 year old with 30 years experience. Not the one who can program in 10 languages. Just a hard working employee who knows how to do her job and do it well.

Team building reminds me of a camp my son attended 12-14 years ago where there was time allocated each day labeled “forced fun”

The team building stuff. Good lord. My boss proposed our team do an escape room thing. I sent her an email saying please count me out. The mere thought of this and similar pursuits is soul crushing, as far as I'm concerned.

So much of this is true. I am an introvert and work in a small business with a group of people that I truly enjoy. I just hate the team building outings that get planned. I appreciate the intention, but I don't enjoy them at all. I laughed when I read the part about the yoga class because I just managed to wiggle out of going to a team building hot yoga class that is coming up! "Oh, I am sorry...I will be on vacation" LOL

I don't know anyone who actually likes open seating. Introversion definitely makes the situation worse, but it is the inability to concentrate and get work done which is so frustrating. The only solution is remote work as listening to headphones only creates a different distraction. There have been countless studies proving open plan seating does not increase collaboration, it increases spread of illness and decreases productivity but some fads just won't die. Maybe Gen Z will finally kill it and a new perk will be to have your own office.

The best thing that ever happened to me at work was the development of technology that enabled me to work from home. I still showed up at work once or twice a week so I wouldn't be forgotten, but otherwise happily slaved away in my four-season room overlooking the garden.

One of the saddest days of my pre-retirement years was when my department relocated to a new building that had an open floor-plan. I really missed having an office with a locking door. Every time my secretary would approach with something like "There's this guy out here..." SLAM! CLICK! Such a great feeling.

Introvert here. Senior manager (how did that happen?) at a small company with about 75 people in my organization. So much to work with here that a book could be written. Open offices - really dumb idea that only the bean counters love. How does one have a private conversation (yes, they're sometimes necessary)? Go to a conference room. Which means you need many more conference rooms which sort of defeats the bean counter purposes. Introverts get dinged for not speaking up when there is nothing to say while extroverts blather on about anything or simply repeat what has already been said and get kudos for "being engaged". "Lean in" one manager kept telling me. I would rather have impact when I do have something to say. Don't get me started on the various coaches and trainers. They're all extroverts and absolutely don't get that team building exercises and such are absolute torture for us. Is there a better way for your message to be lost than to torture the people you're trying to teach?

Down the hall from my husband's office they now have an office share rental, complete with polished (sort of) concrete floors that are hideous, and 2 rows of a long, long table, plus 3 little offices with glass doors for people who need to lock their stuff up instead of a locker. For $10 you can have one of the chairs at a table for the day, and you can also rent the conference room (so you can brainstorm??). I am assuming these are for young entrepeneurs, and I would counsel them to keep their table at the coffee house. If everyone is on his or her phone it will be cacophany. Makes cubicles almost sound good, but not really. Makes my introverted soul cringe.

You don't have to be an introvert to appreciate walls. Also, quiet, privacy and working alone.

I never could understand what the open office configuration should do. If you really need to concentrate, all it does is present distractions. I am an introvert, who when backed into a corner uses every ounce of skill and moxy to play the type A extrovert card. I have sabotaged "trust" exercises in devious ways, put me in a group to "solve a problem" and I'll dominate the heck out of the group, and if we must play games to develop teamwork, I will find a way to win all the time both truthfully and deviously. What does it get me? Well at times no one wants me on their team. Great, because I don't want to be on their's either! Other times mistrust, don't want me as a friend and all the poppy cock. Could care less, I'm here to do my work, and solve problems. I'm never nasty, deal considerately with clients and only dominate in the aforementioned situations. I'm also a woman and refuse to be pigeonholed!

Co worker: Have any plans for the weekend,/How was your weekend? Me, an introvert: Not really/Oh fine. HOW WAS YOURS. PLEASE TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT.

When I was working I always started as late in the morning as I was allowed. I did most of my work - and my best work - after 4:30 when the place emptied out and I could concentrate without interruption. If I could have had whole days like that I could have produced twice as much. And enjoyed my job twice as much.

This is why I would totally fail in a tech startup. I could never get used to the games, bouncy balls instead of seats, skateboards down the halls. It's all so distracting to the way my brain operates. I am able to filter out open space noise, if it's normal, work type noise. But gaming noise? No thank you.

The article hit the nail for introverts in the office. Many of my colleagues thought I was an extrovert, since I m funny and like to exploit the underlying comic experience when required to be in a group setting but little did they know it was to handle the absurdity of everyone trying to be top dog. I love analyzing a problem in my head and getting input one on one.

My life in code consisted in getting to the office early, before the nattering and the management arrived. This enabled me to load into my head the whole universe of my application. The full load, with productive work, lasted until some nattering fool/manager decided to TALK TO ME. I could hear my brain flushing its contents and loading SPOKEN ENGLISH. It generally required an hour or so to reload. If I had a really difficult problem, I would work on it at home (once we had the ability to do that). My initial load would last until 4 hours later I absolutely had to use the rest room. In this case, it didn't really matter whether the environment was open, cubicle, or private office. Interruption of mental processes was the same, more or less. Since I retired, I have been working (part-time) in a cubicle in a very quiet office. When I have something to show, I send an email. The only interruption was someone playing lousy Christmas music, which I stopped. Math before carols!

My life in code consisted in getting to the office early, before the nattering and the management arrived. This enabled me to load into my head the whole universe of my application. The full load, with productive work, lasted until some nattering fool/manager decided to TALK TO ME. I could hear my brain flushing its contents and loading SPOKEN ENGLISH. It generally required an hour or so to reload. If I had a really difficult problem, I would work on it at home (once we had the ability to do that). My initial load would last until 4 hours later I absolutely had to use the rest room. In this case, it didn't really matter whether the environment was open, cubicle, or private office. Interruption of mental processes was the same, more or less. Since I retired, I have been working (part-time) in a cubicle in a very quiet office. When I have something to show, I send an email. The only interruption was someone playing lousy Christmas music, which I stopped. Math before carols!

I am an introvert in sales. Its complicated but I make it work. And glad this article was written by a man...we're supposed to be aggressive.

I agree with every word of this article, except its conclusion. I do fault the employers for propagating the faddish, insidious nonsense that "collaboration" is necessary for "creativity," as if great ideas can only come from incessant babbling. The more managers strip away our privacy and push us to message each other at all hours, the less creative I become. I suspect I'm not alone, that huge swaths of the workforce feel starved for a moment of privacy to gather their thoughts.

Amen. Thanks for so eloquently stating the plight of introverts!

Luckily I retired before our agency got rid of the cubicles. (I heard that as soon as my my old IT department moved into the new workspace everyone immediately built walls out of cardboard and other materials.) Most of what my work and intellectual life has always consisted of is now characterized as some kind of special, exceptional category called "deep work." "Deep work" is just a new name for, well, "work." For me the "essential tasks" involved in academic study, business analysis and application development have all involved concentrating for long periods of time. I've always been aware that interruptions require many moments afterwards to get back to the interrupted thought. (And, yes, I was perfectly capable of and enjoyed interviewing people, going to meetings, taking breaks, having water cooler conversations and all the other interactive tasks that provide input to and relief from the more solitary tasks of creation.) Early on I observed the work life of our managers and learned that the essence of managing is being interrupted. Unfortunately managers project this (frustration?) on all their employees; one manager back in the nineties wanted everyone to be in eye contact with everyone else, which contributed to burnout in some of her direct reports. I wonder if all this open-office stuff is some kind of cycle of abuse by managers: I have to suffer from being interrupted so everyone else will, too, regardless of what type of work they do.

Introversion is different from shyness and social anxiety. Many introverts are perfectly comfortable with office social interactions and small talk, particularly as they get to know coworkers better over time, but get their energy from being or working alone. I am very much an introvert but enjoy talking with my colleagues and working on team projects. However, I prefer an approach where we work individually on tasks and regroup to discuss progress and next steps. I also prefer to think on problems and solutions on my own before sharing my ideas with others. Ad hoc brainstorming sessions are generally useless, and like other commenters, I want to know a meeting’s agenda or goal in advance so I can prepare. I think open office plans are a scourge on the world.

Years ago at work, we had a training session about personality types, aimed at having people understand differences and how to work with others of different types based on Myers-Briggs. The training was led by a young man who was well-liked and who had an outgoing personality. He took the assignment quite seriously and really dug into the topic. The more he learned, the more he came to a realization -- "we treat introverts absolutely horribly." He had little doubt that introverts are not only disadvantaged but actually persecuted and tormented. As a well-liked extrovert, he had a lot of credibility in my opinion. I found that almost everyone in that office was in one clique or another. I was an introvert, and while I could be office friends with people in a number of different cliques, I didn't want or need to be in any one of them. I preferred to relate to people one-to-one, not through the hierarchy of their cliques. That did not go over very well and made people somewhat distrustful of me, the best I could tell. To have a relationship with a person in any clique you needed the approval of everyone in the clique. I definitely agree that discrimination against introverts is a very potent dynamic in many offices, far more serious than almost anyone realizes. It is a way to elevate aggressive personalities at the expense of others. Often closet introverts are the worst. Introverts are not fond of cliques and are another weapon used to put them at a disadvantage.

Bless you, Ethan! For making me nod my head and laugh at the same time. Warm regards from someone who fled the corporate HQ scene to set up shop on her own. Well, with my dog, of course.

The author seems to confuse being shy with being an introvert-the former eschewing interaction due to anxiety, the latter by preference. That said, nobody sane likes meetings or open-offices.

If a person works alone and no-one notices, has any work been done?

I think of 'brainstorming' as an acceptable way of someone at a higher paygade to get others to do their job. The great ideas of others then collated and passed of as their own.

Open office plan = torture

I am retired now, but I preferred to work alone and uninterrupted because that's when I was most efficient. My large set of headphones was almost always on my head even when the very loud, obnoxious music I preferred was off. If I needed to talk with someone other than my boss, I'd use instant messaging or get up and walk to their desk. In meetings, I spoke up when necessary. My sanity stayed intact and I always had excellent performance reviews. We all have our best ways of working, even the introverts. Team-building exercises were an exercise in futility but there was always free food and drinks. The best workshop was led by our client from Vermont, a company founded by two guys named Ben and Jerry. They brought a freezer full of their cookie-dough ice cream and everyone ate it until their gums froze. I can't recall any of the silly things we did, but that ice cream sure was delicious!

I’m a so-called millennial (or echo-bummer) and I hate nothing more than talking for the sake of it, especially at work. I tend to think we spend a lot of our time sending others the signal we are working rather than actually working-so we meet and we brainstorm and we have jam-sesh (who talks like that). The outcome is not important it’s the doing for the sake of doing and the being seen to be doing the doing that’s important. I have found ways to navigate this vapidness. 1. Embrace your so-called awkwardness. 2. Create moments of quiet in your day whenever you can (l put time-blocks in my calendar). 3. Let others know how you prefer to work- if you’re going to call a meeting for 90 minutes and don’t have an agenda, then perhaps you don’t need one? I insist on knowing what they want my contribution to be. 4. This might sound a bit flippant, but a visible pair of headphones is sometimes all the protection you need. (I used to work with an older Engineer who wore bright yellow ear defenders). 5. Metal model: think value-add, essential non-value add (relationship building, useful ad hoc conversations) & non value add (picture of peoples dogs) I think whether extroverted or introverted we could all learn to respect each other’s time a little bit more and maybe our own.

As a retiree, let me tell you that nothing I ever accomplished that was in any way creative or collaborative was triggered by a lack of walls and/or mass seating in a room the size of a gymnasium. When and if I needed to interact with workmates, there was the simple but effective method of getting up from my chair, walking to their cubicle or office and talking to them about it. There was even interoffice email in those long ago days. I can also testify that no team building exercises ever elicited a single good idea from me, nor did such artificial means facilitate any ideas at all from my fellow employees except when they were pressured to say something, anything, by a team leader. This is a nice article, but it tries too hard to be funny about an issue that is decidedly unfunny to the numerous intelligent but introverted (thank you very much) work group members.

Spot on! My workplace is so fond of brainstorming they use it for everything. I particularly dread it because not only do I worry about speaking up and then get tense because I feel that it is so obvious that I am the only one in the room not shouting out anything that pops into my head, but also because my boss notices this too and later tells me how he wants me to speak up and makes me feel horrible about it. It will likely be mentioned in my performance review. Brainstorming does NOT work for everyone. Give me the issue, a few minutes of quiet with a piece of paper and I’ll give you several ideas.

I was sitting here, dreading going to our beautiful new office, for all the reasons you describe! I work from home as much as possible. Please write an essay on who who invented instant messaging and why.

I work best alone. The world needs people like me. Not everything is a team project. Thank you for the essay.

I loved this! Thank you Ethan!

I dipped out of the world of office work a while ago for precisely these reasons.