As we think of these many still suffering civilian survivors of the attacks on the World Trade Center we should also think about the many PTSD sufferers who no doubt exist among the survivors of the many errant drone strikes on wedding parties and other such "collateral damage" to civilians that has occurred in Afghanistan over the past 18 years.
10
My friend Kristin took her own life several years after 9/11. She never got over the grief and trauma from that day. I know-that there are probably hundreds more like her. Yes she survived on 9/11 but 9/11 is what killed her. May she and all the others Rest In Peace. Love and light to all.
28
My dad was in the lobby of the North tower when the first plane hit. He was seriously burned and a stranger helped him get to a hospital in New Jersey. The Times wrote an article about his recovery when he was released a few weeks later. But I came here to say that he's never been the same. There isn't any support network out there for him. The bravery of the first responders is not to be diminished, but my dad feels like the stories of ordinary heroes from that day and traumatized survivors gets overshadowed. I wish I had a better way to help him.
89
First, thank you James Barron, for this important article. In 2001, my husband and I lived 700 feet from the WTC and he worked on the 95th Floor of the South Tower. I am grateful every day since 9/11/2001 that the love of my life is still in my life ... well and happy. He was at home when the planes hit the towers, too early for his 7-minute commute to work. Our 33 story Liberty Tower co-op swayed when the South Tower imploded and rocked the earth. I thought the Federal Reserve had been bombed, the immense crash of the building was as loud as an explosion. My husband lost 99 colleagues that morning through this senseless act of terror. We were evacuated from home for 6 weeks, graciously housed uptown with dear friends. The morning we walked out of our building, standing ankle-deep in dust, I was willing to lose everything except life itself ... as we had each other. PTSD became evident as our neighborhood was in shambles for more than a year. We could not ignore the smell or the sights.I was recommended to EMDR, a healing modality, working with a psychologist. Thirteen years later, still feeling the after-effects of the trauma, I did a workshop at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health with Rick Hanson, author of two excellent books: Buddha’s Brain and Hardwiring Happiness. The key to my recovery was awareness that I held the memory in the cells of my body, to acknowledge the pain, and to let it go. Life changing work. Important note: We all need professional help sometime.
49
I was in my office in midtown Manhattan that day and heard about the attacks on the radio. Old-timers like me didn’t automatically go to the internet then; a younger colleague next door had it on his screen, which chilled me. Everyone wanted to call family to say we were OK but it was almost impossible to get a line. My wife in Westchester called me about 10:30 in tears because she knew I had clients downtown. My family in California took longer, and then only my father could talk because my mother was crying so hard. Although we were several miles away, most non-NYers think the city is a big blob, and the pictures of smoke and debris made them think it was happening everywhere.
The City shut down the subways etc. in case terrorists were traveling around the city to do even more damage, so we couldn’t get home. Finally in the early afternoon the City decided it was better to let everyone get home. I walked to Grand Central at 2 pm and remember the smell and light white ash in the air. At Grand Central there was no schedule; they (wisely) just announced the next train going north so you could get on it. A lot of people in my train were covered in white ash. I finally saw the television pictures when I got home. Horrific.
My thoughts and prayers to all those more directly affected than I was.
23
Never forget. And that means not forgetting that the Taliban aided and abetted Al-Qaeda during the preparation for the 9/11 bombings and provided material support to Osama Bin Laden and his compatriots for years after. This is the same Taliban that Donald Trump wanted to host on US soil at Camp David. Never forget.
36
@Jeannette Everett
And Saudi Arabia. Where is their reckoning?
Still waiting.
~ 9/11 family member
38
I didn't know anyone made it out alive. I thought the people trying to evacuate were killed in the stairwells when the buildings collapsed. These people should have received more attention when 9/11 happened. If they had, maybe the help would have been there for them all along and they wouldn't have spent their lives trying to self medicate. I feel so sorry for these survivors. If there is a charity that offers them support I would gladly donate to it. Is there one?
12
My husband died there that day, but over 50,000 people were there in the complex of buildings. September 11 is the National Day of Service, so you could respond by supporting a local community support agencies. Almost all of the tens of thousands there who were not trapped on floors above where planes crashed into buildings did get out. Many of the lives lost were the air passengers whose planes had become missiles, and others lost were responding to the emergencies inside the buildings or in the immediate area.
Suicide is likelier when someone has PTSD. There is civilian PTSD potentially in any tragic event - natural disasters, mass shootings, domestic abuse.... There is not one good resource for mental health; thankfully, there are many. Consider supporting a crisis center or mental health hotline. You can ask yourself what situation moves you most, and then be glad that 9/11 memorials inspired you to become involved. By acting today, we remember those we lost.
24
Powerful story of how for many, the road of recovery after a disaster or other traumatic event is a journey with no set time-frame. The article cites a lack of dedicated support groups for those affected by 9/11, and so It's important for survivors, responders, victims' loved ones, and others struggling with distress or other mental health concerns related to 9/11 (from the WTC, Pentagon, or Shanksville attacks) to know that the national Disaster Distress Helpline (call 1-800-985-5990 or text TalkWithUs to 66746) is available with 24/7 crisis counseling & support. The service is a program of the U.S. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, and administered by the not-for-profit Vibrant Emotional Health. Calls & texts to the DDH are answered by trained counselors from a network of crisis centers across the U.S. who will listen to what's on your mind, explore healthy coping & social supports, and offer referrals to local resources for follow-up care & support. Eighteen years after the 9/11 attacks - and after any natural or human-caused disaster - People who are struggling are not alone.
14
@Christian Burgess
This is valuable information. Thank you.
~ 9/11 family member (extended)
6
A local radio station here played a memorial set for 9/11 victims today. Included among the moving songs was this this tribute to a loyal guide dog who survived, along with the handler she led down 80 stories of one of the Twin Towers. Roselle the yellow Lab.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nfghzo07yf4
12
I was at a assistant district attorney DUI prosecution training in schoharie county.
We were probably 8 from NYC boroughs.
They made us finish the day.
On 9/12 the smell of burning ozone and wet fire when we crossed the Tri-Boro at 10am was a punch to the face.
Later that night using our badges a few of us made our way into Manhattan and then downtown. I tinned the cadet at 120 Broadway and walked over to Trinity and tried to picture where the speed chess players used to hangout.
Medical staff in scrubs and purple 3m masks standing on the pile right next to firemen digging with their hands and assembly line passing debris one item at a time; the still falling glass; some fireman’s turnout jacket utterly destroyed laying on an ambulance that was just as destroyed. And, the frantic utter frantic search for survivors.
I should have stayed home; never been the same since.
Although, the oculus somehow fills me with hope.
13
OMG — I was “living” at WTC 3 — Marriott that day. When I came back to my project on Wall Street the next Monday, the lack a the chess players was a vivid memory for me too.
8
And no one deals with those of us who have become ill because we live a few blocks north of Canal St.bIt’s like waiting for that car to hit you, and no one cares.
14
"It took a while for me to realize it was happening, and it took a while after that to realize it was 9/11-related.”
She said that she was certified for post-traumatic stress disorder under the World Trade Center Health Program in 2015."
And there it is.
Whenever we create a program to pay people for being "sick" - they get sick.
Go figure...
2
I hope you never need such a program.
26
@Geronimo, a lack of empathy is a red flag for sociopathy.
24
Many people did not try to leave; they were told to stay. Because of Rudy.
Despite an attempt to blow up the World Trade Center in 1993, Giuliani overrode all the experts (including NYPD) and put the city's Emergency Command Center on the 23rd floor of the Word Trade Center, instead of underground in Brooklyn.
But WTC had a good view, and Giuliani liked to bring his mistress to one of the bedrooms in the ECC.
Analysts estimated that hundreds of people on lower floors died because, in the confusion, there was no Command Center to coordinate communications; these people received conflicting advice on what to do, and many chose to remain in their office rather than exit the building.
After 9/11, it was said, the most dangerous place to be was between Rudy and a TV camera
36
oh my goodness. thank you so much for this article, and for the comments from other survivors. i feel like this is the first time on the anniversary that we are reading about survivors. it's easy to think we should just move on. but ultimately it's not that easy. i watched the 2nd tower fall. i walked from mid-town to the village and over the williamsburg bridge back ro Brooklyn. the ash spread for days over cars and us as we walked. on my dog as we walked. anyway, i thank you.
16
I was at my sister’s house in Rockland Co. when my sister called from her car on her commute to work to NJ and told me to turn on TV, as radio was reporting a “light plane” had apparently flown into one of the towers. I saw the second plane hit on live TV. My niece was living in NYC and looking out the window of the apartment where she was staying and saw the second plane hit and saw people jumping out the windows of WTC. We could not reach her by phone. She and her friend left the apartment and headed uptown where they took refuge in another friend’s apartment. Finally, late in the day, I was able to reach her by using my cell phone which had an exchange from a different area. It was several days before we were able to drive into Manhattan to rescue her. When we got to Manhattan all the debris was still there. Nearby shops were wide open, no windows, several inches of white and gray dust on merchandise on shelves, T-shirts on shelves still neatly folded, covered with inches of gray powdered pulverized debris. It was eerie. The streets were covered with fine powdered dust. For a long time my niece had nightmares of the people falling from the buildings. To this day she will not talk about it.
29
What a telling and troubling story to share. I work in an elementary school and in the past few years we have begun to hear a lot about the result of children being exposed to trauma. The fact is that traumatic events actually change brain structure. Schools are putting practices into place that benefit all children, but are especially useful for children who were/are exposed to trauma. What about the adults that have been exposed to trauma? They are your friends, family members, neighbors, and coworkers. What are we putting into place for them? At the very least we can all choose kindness. Sometimes the wounds don’t show in a physical way.
21
I think some foundation should help the survivors of 9.11. Yes, the families of those who died should receive all the help they have gotten. But those who lived through it need help too.
15
@Skeptical It is cruel and unsympathetic to compare people’s struggles and imply that their tragedy (9/11 vs WW2) and resulting trauma doesn’t merit such negative emotional consequences. People today aren’t collectively more fragile and their struggles and suffering are real. I wonder about all the millions of unheard individual stories, lost through time, by those who have lived through the horrors of tragedy. Recorded history has focused on actual events but not the scope of lifelong individual suffering afterwards. The post war recovery of a society is mostly glossed over. We simply don’t know and can’t comprehend the scale of individual emotional trauma we humans have inflicted on one another through out time. Although different people and cultures present and past may process tragedy and grief differently, I believe all of humanity has faced the same feelings that we call PTSD. Our modern society now has the tools to shine a light on the stories of individual suffering caused by tragedy. Some react with sympathy/empathy, some don’t want to learn, and others, like you, react by comparing tragedies and implying that some “victims” are either weak or overreacting. I can only hope, against all evidence, that our ability to document and promulgate the tragic, horrific, lifetime suffering of individuals impacted by our wars and violence may lead to an evolution of human behavior toward peaceful resolutions of conflicts.
22
I live less than a mile from where the Towers once stood. All during what started out as a rescue, then turned to recovery, and then turned to clean up, I would stand on the side of West Street waving my American flag, supporting the first responders and later the clean up teams. Nine years later I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, and am now cancer free (I love you MSK!). Life is definitely different downtown. I can still see the outline of the Towers, like a painting that leaves an outline on a dirty wall. I haven't been down to the memorial yet. So maybe it's a light case of PTSD?
16
This happened one time to us here in America and it was the most traumatic and tragic event that we will never be able to heal from. Imagine what bombs overhead for days, months, and years will do to your psyche. The Iraqis, Palestinians, Afghans, Yemenis have been suffering for years with no end in sight.
37
@R, yes, there is some truth in that, although the people you choose to mention are an interesting mix in that there are groups you do not include. However, this was a unique and particularly wounding attack for the US and for NYC in particular. It was a coordinated assault on our national icons, the terrorists used civilian planes full of passengers (including babies) as weapons, it did not happen in a time of war, the casualty count was huge, they targeted our nation’s capitol, and the slowly unfolding events at the Twin Towers were unimaginably horrifying. The jumping, the firefighters walking up those stairs. This terrorist action was intended to traumatize us. Designed to do so. It made us feel unsafe, as a nation, at a really deep level.
Do not diminish it.
I would add that one did not need to be in lower Manhattan or at the Pentagon to experience trauma, though. There are many levels of hurt.
13
@R
So true. Living in Greenwich Village the first plane flew directly over my building, heard the crash, and watched the towers come down from my bedroom window. For years after I would freeze at the sound of every loud noise and siren. I remember listening to the radio when the bombing of Iraq began and thinking of the terror those people, especially the children, must be feeling. It's still happening, and for what?
21
I watched the attacks live from my bedroom window. I was living with my dad on the 50th floor of a highrise on 38th and 3rd Ave in Murray hill. My bedroom window had an unobstructed view of downtown Manhattan.
I came out of the shower, and saw the first building on fire. Then I saw the second explosion- facing south I did not see the second plane. My mind couldn’t comprehend that planes had caused the fires until I turned on the TV. My father Jim Simpson was a commissioner for the MTA cane rushing in to change into street clothes and an NYPD I believe to go meet Mayor Giuliani at the command center in the towers.
20 minutes later I watched the first tower collapse before my eyes. It took me a half hour to realize my dad had just gone down there and was possibly dead. I left messages on his cell crying frantically to call me to let me know he was still alive. Thank God - hours later - he called to check in. He returned near midnight covered head to toe in the white ash. We never really talked about what happened that day- we just hugged. And we kept going.
There are so many of us carrying fear and terror with us every day, heavy ghosts on our back, who have held it in silently because we don’t have the right to call ourselves victims- because we are survivors.
I don’t want to be a victim of it any more. All the fear and the terror has caused enough suffering. I want to remember the gratitude I felt that we lived, and all the love, friendship, teamwork and compassion.
40
Your story is beautifully related. God bless you and may you find the peace of mind you have earned.
12
You must have lived in The Corinthian? I lived across the street in The Churchill.
3
On my first visit to NYC in 1998, my son's 1st grade teacher asked me to take the class teddy bear along so I could photograph it inside the observatory atop the World Trade Center with the beautiful city views in the background. I did! The photo is still in her classroom 21 years later. I have visited NYC many, many times since then. Each time, I go to the Memorial, and now, the Museum. No, I am not one of those tourists taking smiley selfies. I go to pay my respects, to touch the names (I have studied the "meaningful adjacencies"), to remember the victims and pray for their families. The Memorial site is sacred ground and should be treated as such.
After reading Ms. Bergeron's story I will now be aware of the survivors. She was very brave to tell her story. In the age of social media we aren't accustomed to people admitting downfalls. And on top of it all, the pain of losing her mother. If Ms. Bergeron still lives in the Forsyth County area, Northpoint Ministries in Alpharetta has non-denominational counseling resources available. It is a shame that this lady, and all the commenters who told of similar circumstances, have not been offered the benefits and services they deserve. My heart goes out to all of you who lost loved ones, who witnessed the attacks and those who survived. We will never forget.
20
The ripple effects of that day are almost incalculable. Truly, anyone who lived in New York during that time, as I did, was deeply traumatized and can still be triggered even now. It was a loss of innocence, a derailer of plans on a massive scale. The sensory cues of that day revisited New Yorkers over so many months: the continuing shock of the changed skyline, the chemical burning smell when the wind picked up, the sound of airplanes overhead. So many things. Crisp, cool fall mornings still get me, and I now live across the country. Never forget indeed.
33
yes- thank you. i will never forget the smell. the fighter planes. the ash.
4
If Trump had been president on 9/11 (and Twitter existed):
Tweet #1:
"Big NY skyscraper near my tower is on fire. Our amazing first responders are on the scene. Incredible people! There are conflicting stories about cause incl. kitchen fire."
Tweet #2:
"NYC people are tough! I'm looking down & see the streets are as busy as ever. Various theories about an attack. Too early to call IMO. Let's see what happens!"
Tweet #3:
"The tower has collapsed. Sad!"
Tweet #4 (next day):
"After discussing with my team I've asked Mullah Omar for a face to face meeting. Let's get to the bottom of this. Omar is a great guy, amazing leader. Afghanistan is an amazing country with great potential!"
14
Sadly, this is too close to reality to be satire.
27
My trigger is the weather: A cloudless bright blue sky with a gentle breeze, crisp air in the 70s - perfect, beautiful weather. I automatically think of 9/11. I wish I didn't but that is where my mind goes. I wish I didn't call it "September 11th Weather." I can't help it. I don't say it out loud.
I often think of the survivors. What they went through to get out. I watched it happen from my street corner and saw the towers fall. I used to work at Windows on the World. I can't imagine.
32
@Phillyburg YES! It took me years to not associate a beautiful September day with that terrible day. I worked at a Federal agency in downtown DC at the time. I remember every detail about it, even after 18 years.
13
Every year, every time since. A clear, crisp September day has never been the same.
It’s an interesting sort of comfort to know that even among those of us who have since moved away, we’re bound together by that particular feeling every “beautiful” September day.
9
@Phillyburg - yes, me too. I remember so vividly leaving my windows in Cobble Hill open and walking to the subway that morning, admiring the perfect blue sky and the gentle breeze...
5
9/11: 2996 civilians killed in cold blood
War on Terror: 244,000 civilians murdered senselessly
and that is only counting the deaths in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Pakistan. (https://watson.brown.edu/costsofwar/costs/human/civilians)
On the day of this great tragedy, we should not only mourn the losses, but also reflect on our actions that brought death to hundreds of thousands.
33
At an old time bar downtown I had afternoon drinking buddies for several years afterward. Day after day, week after week these old guys were reliable as clockwork. We'd pass every afternoon drinking, chit chatting, telling stories of exploits gone by.
One friend had been a bonafide - masters of the universe - type bond guy in the 80's and 90's. Well known and wealthy. But when I met him he'd already lost his mind, but not his money.
He wove great tales that never made sense, and couldn't discern reality, much. But every day we listened, and life went on. He'd helped on the pile for several weeks, so the story goes.
Not quite ten years ago he drank himself to death on a hot summer afternoon. His services were well attended. We all knew what it was, but nobody really knew what it was. That took him.
109
@Billy wow, what a dark story. poor guy.
8
To this day I get nervous hearing sirens go off.Growing up in London in the early 1940s was no fun
Probably the same in most of Western Europe.So I know how New Yorkers who were around that area
are feeling
My friend from Hamburg told me it was 911 twice a week for months in his neighborhood
15
I worked in lower Manhattan less than 10 blocks from the WTC and saw the 2nd plane hit from my office window. I was far enough away by the time the towers fell that I was not in immediate danger, but it was still a traumatic experience. It felt like what I imagine being in a war zone is like. We didn't know if other major landmarks or the subways would be attacked next.
I had nightmares, trouble sleeping, and anxiety about planes flying overhead for a while after that. I am still not very comfortable taking a plane.
156
@Shelly
I think attacks like that are actually harder to deal with than war zone experiences.
Speaking as a veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan. When you deploy, although you’re never fully prepared to get shot at, you expect it. You know that at literally any time, you could face anything from RPGs to mortars and rockets to VBIEDs and small arms fire. You just know it’s there.
9/11 was not something anyone could have been prepared for. So, I imagine it’s actually harder to deal with.
125
@Shelly
I couldn’t agree with you more. I too worked blocks away (388 Greenwich/Citigroup), and I watched from the 30th floor of that building. I’ll never forget the roar and the shadow of the 2nd plane past our building. To this day, I still deal with the anxiety and trauma of that. Maybe it’s guilt, I don’t know. But knowing that I walked through the WTC concourse 30mins before the first plane hit has always made me uneasy too.
16
I was teaching a class at William Paterson in Wayne and as I drove home, I could see a big plume of smoke coming from lower Manhattan. I realized with horror that my husband was at a client that day right next to the WTC. For nearly 6 hrs, I didn't know if he was dead or alive. He had managed to hop on a ferry to SI then take some buses and the light rail where he ended up in Newark where I picked him up. Those were the scariest and longest 6 hrs of my life. I picked him up and he was covered with dust. He was able to use his shirt over his nose and mouth but everyday I wait, watch and wonder if his health will continue to be good.
176
@TRRI send you and your husband good wishes.
27
my father had a similar experience. He was taking the PATH into the City and as they went underground they saw the towers in flames.
16
This story hits very close to home. I was on the corner on Fulton and Broadway when the first tower came down. I ran from my life. And I've never been the same since.
I've worked in downtown NY for 23 years but the aftermath of 9/11 for me has been crippling panic attacks, agoraphobia, anxiety. Nothing has ever been the same. Nothing has felt the same.
For some 9/11 survivors, the pain has always been there as have the symptoms. The admission is so hard. The treatment even more so.
253
@RJ Many blessings to you in this coming year and in your future years.
11
A friend called and asked where my husband was. “At work”, I replied. She told me to turn on the TV. I stood in my kitchen, screaming and frantically trying to reach my husband, who had worked at One WTC for 23 years. He got out after the bombing in 1993. He got out again on 9/11. We are grateful beyond words.
It is a simple thing to feel and show empathy for those who have lost someone, and they need and deserve our support and love. At the same time, it seems that is too easy to judge someone who is suffering, someone who was changed, even been devastated.
I am so glad that Ms. Bergeron is getting helped, and only wish that everyone who needs help could have it. EVERYONE has a story. On this day, I remember a kinder world, in the days following 9/11, when it seemed that we were all there for each other. Never forget.
367
@Barbara it's rather synchronistic that you and I share the same first name. : ) Other than my post, yours is the *only one* (so far) that mentions the 1993 bombing. I went through that bombing with your husband. I was on the 97th floor of Tower 1 that morning. The fire stair photo in this story was a trigger for me, for sure. I cannot believe someone actually stopped and took that shot. (!)
Your husband is indeed an incredibly lucky person. I've always wondered about the people who survived *both* bombings, and how they're faring, because they bear the biggest psychic burden, in my opinion.
47
@bigeyes, dear Barbara - we are (most days) doing fine. We are so fortunate to have a loving and supportive family and friends. He is now working at the new 4 WTC, and sees the Memorial every workday. As he approaches retirement, very few of his coworkers were there on 9/11, and he takes it on himself to be sure they are aware of coworkers who were lost that day. Our children, who were teens on 9/11 and who barely remember 1993, call early in the morning every year on 9/11. They have wonderful memories of being doted on in Daddy’s office at One WTC. We try to focus on the good times and on how blessed we are. Neither of our kids can visit the museum yet. Someday I hope we can all do that together. My husband and I visited the museum in the weeks before it opened to the public, which was so difficult but also, somehow, necessary. I wish every American could go there. It is humbling.
For him— he is a person who always focuses on the good. Always. For me, I feel I am the luckiest woman I know—to have been granted these past 46 years (plus the rest of our lives) with this incredible man and partner.
31
@Barbara: I lost friends and colleagues at the Pentagon. I remember them every day, but I've never been able to visit the memorial at the Pentagon. Maybe it's time.
20
I worked across the street from the Towers at the World Financial Center, and was in our offices when the first plane hit. Our building shook. We were evacuated onto West St in the middle of unimaginable debris, first responders, screaming people and sirens, and flaming towers. There were people jumping. We looked on helplessly, knowing there was no good end. It took all my will power to turn away and start walking north with as many people as I could persuade to leave. Fighter jets were flying overhead. We had no official news. Cellphone and phone booths did not work. We saw our offices destroyed when the South tower collapsed.
When we finally returned to our offices almost a year later, there lay the blocks-wide debris pile that had been the towers. We had to pass this every day and then for years cross a “temporary” bridge over West Street. We had to pass Deutsche Bank building that had been condemned. Workers in spacesuit like coverings and masks worked there for over a year. We walked by unprotected. Gawking tourists crowded the pathways.
Four years later, almost to the day, I developed cancer which the doctors said was in my body about four years. I am a survivor of both traumas, and do celebrate life every day and year. But not without strong support. Thank you for publishing this story; there are many of us that are the forgotten survivors. May those who died Rest In Peace, and may those who survived also find peace and joy in their lives.
486
@ESF
Many thanks for such a poignant account. And thanks to Jon Stewart for fighting for the first responders when the so-called Patriots in the GOP tried to cut funding to support programs
110
@ESF, May you continue to find peace and joy as well.
31
Such angry , cold hearted and matter of fact comments . I guess until you actually walk in someone's shoes and live their experience some shouldn't be so dismissive of the experiences and pain of others. I worked in that area on Pear St and am thankful I didn't have to live that nightmare or the aftermath. I wish all the survivors well and hope they're living their lives as best as they can.
14
@ho
If this woman had killed people when she was drinking and driving, should those victims' families have said, "No problem" because the drunk driver had SURVIVED 9/11? This article is an example of this country's reflexive need to turn everyone into a victim.
Bravo to Ms Bergeron and others who had the courage to come forward and tell their stories and to deal with their trauma
16
This horrible tragedy continues to affect so many. I hope that support and counseling is available to all. I wonder if a similar story will be written 20 years from now of all the young people who came to America as children but were held in cages by ICE. What stories and horrors will they share?
14
In Los Angeles, I tracked the story of this dreadful day, stopped for breakfast and became inconsolable.
I was fortunate enough to have a very kind waiter see my distress and usher me to a quiet corner of the restaurant,where I sat for more than an hour....thinking about how could this have happened in our country, how this evil and hateful event cost so many innocent lives.
How my life would never be the same........
11
When I heard that Trump was going to meet with the Taliban at Camp David, I went down to the site and just lost control emotionally. I read their names and thought of Jon Stewart who gave so many first responders a voice when no one seemed to care about there suffering
Everyday I miss my friends/ family and the pain never goes away and it never gets better. We all suffer together and we suffer alone. I dont feel any better after reading this story but I now know I have a name for my grief.
9/11 is more than just a memory it has engulfed our lives, no one is the same
41
I am sympathetic, but only partially. Though I was at World Financial Center on 9/11, I feel no PTSD whatsoever. My parents endured WW II as residents, they were bombed, shot at, had relatives sent to Siberia, had relatives executed, my father was sent to a concentration camp for two years, he lost an arm in the war. In contrast, the subject of your article appears to have lost no limbs, with eyesight and hearing intact, with no relatives maimed or killed. And my parents are not the exception, there were 100s of millions of people who directly were ravaged by war before 9/11, and probably tens of millions afterward. War was not a single morning, war was years if not decades not just of fright but seeing your children and parents and siblings die. So, my message to the subject of your article is simple, think not of you you were harmed, but that you are still alive. Think about all of the people in the world who are not as fot=rtunate as you.
13
@Skeptical Of course some people have suffered worse traumatic experiences--there's always someone who had it worse. As Ms. Bergeron said, "People told us, 'Be happy to be alive.'" But the point of the article is that just telling yourself that you don't deserve any support or compassion because you didn't suffer as much as others doesn't work. I'm glad you don't think you have PTSD, but not every human is the same, and people can suffer negative physical and mental repercussions even when they don't believe they "deserve" to. It's much better to seek help than to find yourself blacked out on the highway.
20
@Claudecat The best way for a victim to help themselves is to help others. You will get gratitude, you will feel that you accomplished something, and, you will put your own situation in perspective. My daughter spent a summer working in an Eastern European shelter for sexually and physically abused children. Everyone, including her, benefitted. Ask not what others can do for you, ask what you can do for others (JFK paraphrase).
5
There is no limit on suffering. It never runs out. Someone having experienced something worse? Yes. But that does not diminish another's suffer or vice versa.
17
Every day something can happen for the good or for the bad.
Sept. 11, was a disaster, but it reminds us to learn from events.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Take Donald Trump, for example.
Every day is a fresh disaster for us to learn from, or ignore.
"Those who cannot remember the past
are condemned to repeat it." (Santayana)
Will 2020 be an election opportunity or a national disaster?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
9
If the survivors of 9/11 are suffering mass PTSD can it be
imagined the level of PTSD in all the the vicitims in the
Middle East and Afghanistan as a result of the wars created
by this event.
25
There is no excuse for drunk driving. Ever. And hiding behind 9-11 to justify drunk driving is disgusting.
Over 10,000 people a year die from drunk drivers because of people like her. That’s equivalent to three 9-11’s a year!
Surviving a tragedy is not license to murder people.
5
I don't see where she's justifying it. In fact it was diagnosed in the therapeutic group she chose to join over going to jail. She didn't know she had PTSD; all she had was a choice that the judge gave her and I think she chose the wise option. This is probably better for everyone when drunk drivers get help. Would you agree?
15
Losing my FF stepson on September 11th I came to realize that all of those souls are no longer in pain. But the ripple effect can never be counted of the responders and all the illnesses that are killing them day by day. The people who survived like Ms. Bergeron and all who lived or worked or went to school that Tuesday morning will live with that horror everyday. The families of all affected have to see the trauma in their loved ones everyday and even thought 18 years have past I think all of America will never quite get over what happened to us.
To all those affected please reach out and never be afraid that what you are feeling is not real. No matter where you are when these feelings happen there is someone who will listen because a little bit of all of us can relate and want to help our fellow brothers and sisters. I hope that love for all mankind is the final outcome of the sunny Tuesday 18 years ago.
96
I work with a man in a Boston bagpipe corps that performed for many first responder funerals. It was tough for him. .
He noted to me on returning from one of his many trips to NYC that he learned that some apartment dwellers in lower Manhattan were deeply traumatized because they had seen thick "pink haze" out their windows (human blood and tissue on the roofs of surrounding buildings from the jumpers.)
I can never forget that image.
And I cannot even imagine having witnessed it.
25
I was the designated fire warden for my floor in the WTC’s South Tower. At the time, I worked as a Senior Vice President for a company, Lee Hecht Harrison (LHH), which is still in business and which operates out of many locations across the United States and overseas. To my astonishment, and adding insult to injury, when I applied for 9/11 benefits, I was advised that following a merger LHH discarded all of its employee records that identified which offices its employees were assigned to. The company showed zero remorse when I contacted them last year for proof of employment and location, and they offered no solution. To qualify for benefits you need to demonstrate that you were working downtown either at or nearby the WTC. Not only was I in my office in the South Tower, I also risked my life as the floor’s fire warden. A “Catch 22” that has not been resolved and for which LHH takes no responsibility.
219
Disgraceful. I am sorry you are being treated so callously by your employer.
63
@Roy Cohen
Check into this further. I’m handling employee records during a merger and legally, we’re bound to keep the records
62
@Roy Cohen DO NOT allow them to disregard you! Be persistent and you'll get results. Another lady posted that a company is required to keep records. They're giving you the run around as you probably realize.
Hang tough!
Best of luck to you!
45
Thank you for this piece.
It seems the Times is not emphasizing 9/11 much at all today in its headlines.
10
And this trauma is suffered by everyone, everywhere, in Syria, in Yemen, in Israel, in the West Bank, in Afghanistan, in Iraq, in Kashmir, in Odessa, Texas, all over the world, as people live through violent experiences.
10
Odd that the NYT fails to note that it was Islamic terrorists who brought down the World Trade Center buildings, attacked the Pentagon and caused other American casualties.
What’s that about?
6
It was not just “Islamists” in general. Specifically, they were Saudi Arabian citizens, whose actions were funded by a member of the Saudi royal family. And yet we cozy up to the Saudis, sell them advanced weaponry, and are in the process of providing them with nuclear capabilities.
36
The article was not a history lesson. It was a look into the ongoing trauma that day brought.
13
A useful way to treat such thing, like one mention the memory recall, is to transfer your thoughts to something that cheers you up. You could prepare something, for example, a wonderful trip, imaging what you are going to do, to see, to eat, whatever makes you happy. Once the disturbing memories come back, you divert your thoughts to that happy "thing", do it again and again until it works.
This method worked pretty well for me though it is not easy to conduct. For getting your life back, you just have to keep on practicing. Meditation and exercise are also very helpful.
Yes, we maybe not as lucky as some people who never have to deal with mental problem. Unfortunately, the only way out is to be tough and suck it up.
2
The psychological impact of the 911 program has injured and affected many more than the individuals in the actual buildings or vicinity: it has had a national and even global cognitive effect concerning perception, judgment, bias and social integrity. Watching former president George Bush on National Geographic's 911 memorial documentary last night, reinforced the disquieting difficulty he has maintaining conformity to the narrative and was clearly struggling, as those so psychologically constituted do, to suppress his schadenfreude. With new forensic reports emerging from expert analysis, the larger scope of administration liability is one that will likely be reassessed.
5
I was in WTC 3 - the Marriott on the 20th floor. Diagnosed PTSD WTC 9/11 in 2013. Still take the same medications 16 yrs later. The hardest thing for me is the “mental illness stigma”, and at the same time, having a disability that no one can “see”, so they don’t know much about it.
The hardest thing for me was that my fortune 50 company I worked for offered no support, but rather was extremely adversarial toward me (despite the fact they donated millions of dollars to NYC). The Victims Compensation Fund accepted me , but also said I had to file Workers Comp because I was there on business. My company denied the workers Comp claim, I was humiliated and had to go to court, I won, they appealed, then I went to the “The Haven” Psychiatric Hospital Inpatient 2 weeks / outpatient 2 weeks. I had to go back to court again, and I won again. I am still an employee (I loved my job). A little bit of support and acceptance could have gone a long way. The company cared about their “public image” of support, but not a dedicated employee.
Years later, I had an incident while staying at a Marriott on business and I was rude to the staff because I was scared of some incompetence (trigger !!). The hotel called my company, and an executive and my manager reprimanded me . My manager actually said “well, I don’t have PTSD, but I know what it’s like to have a bad day, and that’s no excuse”. She was comparing having a bad day to PTSD ON 9/11?
134
@SusanYour manager has no idea how there is such a difference between a "bad Day" and PTSD.She needs to read up on PTSD>
23
2003 (not 2013) should be the year in the first line - I had a typo. It was a year and a half after 9/11/01,
12
@Susan I'm truly shocked that American companies responded in this fashion, but so glad that you won your worker's comp appeal.
Also, I'm impressed that you stayed at the job you love ... good for you.
I can't even think of an appropriate response for your "bad day" supervisor ... some people are just ten stages beyond dense.
15
I’m always amazed at how ‘asleep’ people are, who don’t realize how traumatic events affect others. Of course the 911 survivors are suffering from PTSD. I hope they are able to get treatment, and I wish more Americans were able to, for their traumatic experiences.
24
@Eugene Debs
You said it. "Of course survivors are suffering from PTSD."
It's that simple and clear.
I know people who 'got out' or were in proximity that day and in the months afterward.
One can't fly anymore -- or take subways -- and within several years, realized she had to leave NY forever. By car. Moved to New Mexico.
Others have painfully rebuilt their lives still in the city, but with a lot of anguish and bumpy stops and starts along the way ... addictions, loss of relationships/divorce, etc.
Many cannot ever go back to Lower Manhattan or the WTC area, even though they remain in NYC. They will never step foot onto the Memorial plaza, much less the Museum.
Some, many even, have fought their way through all of the above and against such negative conditions, found 'happy endings.' A marriage, a baby, something or several somethings that give them solace and peace and happiness.
These are the very best outcomes.
I get it. I get it all. And so do you, Eugene. It's amazing to me that so many don't ... but all we can do is understand and try to support the survivors best we can.
~ 9/11 family member
10
I certainly feel for these people. PTSD is powerful. At seven years old, I survived a direct hit on my home by an F4 tornado. I have never since experienced anything like that 30 seconds of sheer terror. For decades after, I would have panic attacks during thunderstorms. I would feel anxious when the skies were cloudy or rain clouds were approaching. Every anniversary, I had nightmares of being caught in the open with an approaching tornado bearing down on me and unable to run. The good news is those nightmares stopped after thirty years. I have no longer have panic attacks during thunderstorms and I don't look anxiously at cloudy skies anymore. Time is your friend. Understanding that your symptoms are PTSD and that you're not crazy or a coward goes a long way to ease those symptoms. What you're experiencing is a normal aftereffect of a traumatic experience. It will get better. Just give it time.
19
I was in 8th grade when 9/11 happened. Today I am a flight attendant and the incredible emotions I get just thinking about those souls on the planes and the fear they must've felt can be overwhelming sometimes. I have yet to visit the museum in NY because I honestly don't think I can deal with the stories and details. I also won't go in high sky scrapers because I remember seeing people jump out of the WTC. I needed to see what was happening as a teen but the older I get, the more I realized just how much of an impact it has made on my life - and I wasn't even there. My heart aches for All involved and we will never truly know the extent of the emotional damage caused to everyone.
14
I lived 10 blocks from the White House and had just come back to the apartment after walking my fiance to work. My sister called and said to turn on the TV because the WTC had been hit by planes. When I turned it on I was shocked and confused to see the Pentagon burning. For two days we hunkered down in our apartment because we had no car (many people fled D.C.). We waited for instructions of what to do, and none came. For many hours we felt that other attacks were imminent, which was terrifying. The streets were abandoned, we heard constant sirens, and for a long time the word was the White House would be hit and the State Department had been hit. Mostly, we felt like sitting ducks. We stayed in D.C. through the subsequent colored "alerts" every day, the anthrax, the sniper attacks, but we never felt safe and when Katrina happened, even though far from D.C., we could see the government wasn't prepared to protect us from similar attacks. We finally left for upstate NY., but I'll never forget it. It changed our lives forever, as it did for many others. It is absolutely devastating to visit the 9/11 memorial....
32
I lived in Glover Park at the time and was home on maternity leave. I remember hearing on the radio that a small plane had flown into the towers and then I switched on the TV and saw the split screen of the towers and the Pentagon. My husband was in Air Force reservist and I knew he had business in the Pentagon at some point that week. Absolute panic until he was somehow able to get a call through to me, told me he had been to the Pentagon the day before, and was walking home from his job at the Department of Education near the Mall.
6
I was in a taxi traveling north on Sixth Ave just below Houston when I saw the first plane fly by out my right side window. I knew it was far too low, and was immediately seized with terror, which turned to shock as I followed out the taxi’s back window the plane’s trajectory into the north tower. The void on the tower’s facade, shaped by the plane’s fuselage and wingspan, followed by a deep grey/red flame that burst outward into a fireball, is an image that still brings a sense of anxiety and dread. For months after, I had severe panic attacks when walking on Sixth near Houston (I lived nearby in 2001). It took months more to realize what was causing them. Last night, a fire truck on the street heard from blocks away sounded for just a second like the roar of a jet engine and that irrational fear and dread came back. This dread visits occasionally - the sound and sight of low flying jets, multiple sirens racing to an accident scene, etc. I’m not an overly sensitive person and I was utterly safe that day, ensconced in a taxi and traveling north. It’s difficult to imagine the lasting effects Ms. Bergeron and all of the others contend with. My sympathies to her and to anyone, anywhere, who encounters a violent trauma up close.
81
It is because of the attacks on 9/11 that I believe we need strong border security. We need to know who is here, why they are here and for how long they will be in the country. I, for one, have not forgotten the trauma of that day. Never again.
10
@susan m, considering the attackers flew into the country, your post makes no sense.
25
@susan m Mass shootings in the US are virtually all done by white male American citizens, with the help of America's mostly white male GOP politicians, the mostly white male American NRA, and the mostly white male heads of the US-based weapons manufacturing corporations that profit so handily from this carnage.
Sadly, no border security can keep them out.
38
@susan m
Likewise, because of the hundreds of civilian murders (this year alone ) by young all-American men with assault weapons we need stronger gun laws.
We need to know who the NRA funded Congressmen really work for, why they are allowing our nation to be flooded with assault weapons and how long this murdering will go on.
Survivors and families of the murdered have not forgotten the trauma of those many, many days.
I , for one, would like to say "Never Again."
14
Dear Ms. Bergeron,
Thank you for opening up to share your experiences and story with us in such a powerful way.
I wish you healing and better days for the rest of your life, you certainly deserve it.
32
She did the right thing. In any high-rise building you are in with a fire or as in this case, The Building Emergency Exit Stairwells are the place to get to and EXIT THE BUILDING.
14
Ms. Bergeron’s experience and that of so many of the commenters today are something many of us cannot fully grasp since we were not in NY on 9/11, but we can all empathize and never, ever forget all the victims, whether they perished or survived and grapple with the trauma. For those of us who witnessed 9/11 through television, it was a day of disbelief, horror and grief for all that was lost that day.
One memory stands out for me: after America’s airspace had been closed for three days following 9/11, the sound of the first jet I heard flying overhead. I was on the phone with a friend who lived nearby; at the same moment, we stopped talking and simultaneously said, “a plane.” I remember thinking that, while some things were starting to return to normal, our country would be forever changed.
My sympathy to every person and family who lost loved ones or who suffer the continuing effects of that day. And my deepest thank you and appreciation to NYC’s brave, selfless first responders.
28
@J.: I'm a sky watcher and what I remember is the lack of contrails. The sky may start out blue in the AM but by mid-morning it's usually a haze of the white streams that merge together where I live. So to see that blue, blue sky (so amazing that I was just thrilled with it when I first got up that morning) and for three days, no planes was a very different experience and one I doubt will be repeated.
6
As a society, I sometimes think we are still in the dark ages in our collective refusal to accept the fact that the attacks on 9/11/2001 have left an indelible mark on the nation as a whole. I certainly am not at all comparing my own situation to those individuals like Ms. Bergeron, but I and everyone I know here in Maine can clearly recall where they were on that fateful morning and how we all reacted in our own way during the weeks and months that followed. That Ms Bergeron and others like her have not been compensated nor are there any survivors networks etc., is definitely proof that our mental health care system is broken. And given the moral pygmies in the current administration, I doubt if Federal Funds will be made available any time soon.
27
PTSD is very real and also a very invisible form of suffering . Survivor Guilt is an aspect of this and I cannot imagine how these people have gotten on without proper support. Thanks for highlighting this woman’s struggles. Hoping she gets the help and support she needs.
22
Ms. Bergeron was a high-ranking official at the Port Authority of NY and NJ when 9/11 occurred 18 yrs ago and today she works in a fast-food restaurant.
The trauma & terror & grief endured on 9/11 was compounded by undetected PTSD symptoms for the years that followed. The notion of being told over and over to, ‘Be happy to be alive" eventually resulted in folks who "minimized [them]selves afterward, and it all built up over the years.”
I find it incredible and yet deeply sad that there were "no World Trade Center survivor groups, either in New York or in Florida" when Ms. Bergeron lived there. Recognizing and addressed PTSD symptoms when they first appear can truly help treat and lesson the fear & pain which was experienced.
When my brother returned from Nam over 50 yrs ago, he had no idea he was suffering from PTSD. There was no such thing as encounter groups for returning Nam vets. He struggled, he suffered, he battled so many sleepless nights because he was afraid to fall asleep; he too lost his job because his behavior became so frightening to the hospital patients, the administration terminated him. He was heavily into drugs & alcohol, all the while being bi-polar but not being medically treated for that illness.
PTSD never goes away, regardless of its origin. My 79 yr. old uncle who survived WWII had issues sleeping when he returned home until the day he passed away.
I truly wish Ms. Bergeron peace and thank her for sharing her poignant and painful story.
49
I worked with an EAP that had two clients in the towers, Eurobrokers and one other client that I don't remember. The EAP counselors such as myself made themselves available to the dozens of survivors. Exactly one person showed up in my office. The problem wasn't that help wasn't available, it's that people don't want to believe they need help.
10
Or, like this author, don’t realize until 18 years later that they needed help.
10
The pain of this amazing survivor should be palpable to anyone who has PTSD, and especially to those who suffered the WTC attacks. I believe 9/11 affects New Yorkers in profoundly more painful ways than it does people who do not live here, or did not have a relative or close friend hurt or perished.
For New York boomers like myself who witnessed the attacks from an office window, and later the fall of the Towers as it happened in front of our *eyes* - not on TV - the event took on a life-changing significance akin to a wedding, death of a parent or birth of a first child. I remember every single thing I was wearing, including the high heels I hastily threw on (instead of sneakers) because I was late to a brand manager meeting in my Chrysler building office two blocks from my apartment, running across Third Ave. With a full view of downtown, and people looking up, I figured it was just typical tourists ogling the famous view.
Later when they evacuated us from the Chrysler building (as an urgent response to a threat), every step I took running down 16 flights of old steel stairs in those high heels was painful and the memory is still with me, as are the actual shoes (which I never wear anymore). 9/11 changed my whole life: By January I had left the world of shilling soap and cereal for my first nonprofit job after 20 years. For many of us 9/11 became the obituary prompt: the “what if” question those of a certain age think about a lot.
30
I was heading to the Deutsche Bank building that morning. My subway stop would have been the World Trade Center. On the train we were advised that the Trade Center stop would be skipped due to a police action. When I got to the plaza, I watched the towers flames, could only see masses of smoke actually. As the fire trucks were arriving, it seemed best to leave the area. I was near Pace University when the first tower fell. It seemed to fall in slow motion. Though we were all a safe distance away, everybody turned and ran.
A few months ago I was doing a freelance job and had to transfer to the Path train at the World Trade Center stop, the beautiful, new Oculus. Shops, music, a green market, tourists, a space filled with light. I only felt frightened and imagined things falling out of the sky. I did my best to transit through quickly. I hope to never go back there.
34
I am astounded there are no 9/11 survivor support groups. With all the lives that were impacted it seems to be a clear need. Perhaps this article will inspire someone to start something. Jon Stewart and his work on getting givernment funding for those who are suffering with physical and mental health illnesses is one vital step. But not all consequences are obvious. It is the invisible, quiet ones that gnaw at the soul,that are so insidious. There is healing and power in sharing a common experience. There is power and healing in joining together with those who understand a story with out words. It doesn't take much-- a unused church hall, a community common room and a group of people who share the deep trauma of a day in September. They deserve it.
25
@Jo Trafford . Diagnosed PTSD WTC 9/11 in 2013. Still take the same medications 16 yrs later. I moved back to VA , but I wish there was a support group— I’ll be looking at your post.
6
I was emerging from the Fulton Street subway station after the two planes hit WTC. As I walked from the Fulton to 60 Wall, I observed surreal images. People huddled around cabs listening intently for news (did not realize that phones were not working), confetti like substances falling from the sky (which I later realized was debris from WTC), hushed voices and people looking up at the sky. I took notice but I was worried about being late for work. I took the elevator up to the 40ish floor of 60 Wall and when I entered my office space, I saw the head of our group crying in a conference. For some reason I walked to the windows and saw two glaring, black holes in the Twin Towers. The next thing I remember was leaving the building and walking the streets with a motley group of co-workers, bewildered and scared of what we didn't know. We ran for our lives at one point because some shouted that the Twin Towers were crumbling. I managed to get to my apartment on 22nd street and watched the news. I smoked back then. I must of smoked two packs within an hour...I guess I was one of the lucky ones, physically unscathed. The memory stays though.
35
I was in a coffee shop 1 1/2 blocks when the North Tower went down and a cloud of white dust came down Liberty Street coating the windows so you could not see out.
I was there, rather than the plaza on Broadway only because I did not have my morning coffee and did not want to stand in a crowd at the plaza.
Nevertheless, it was 6 years before I could talk about that morning without my voice breaking and my eyes tearing. And I had to stop telling about it.
Anyone in the immediate are was greatly effected and the damage lasts a long time if not for life.
It is very unfortunate that this is not understood and the woman highlighted in the article was only told to be happy she was alive. A type of "blame the victim" ?
56
I was in DC that morning, saw the Pentagon on fire, and then had to turn off the news. The thing that people forget is that, at the time, no one knew if the attack was over or not. Rumors were flying. I was trying to convince everyone around me to get out of the city. It was incredibly terrifying. And so, so sad.
24
Trickling
Concentric
Trauma
7
no one who was not present can approach the mental emotional and physical anguish of these overlooked survivors. all of our lives changed that day, and we knew nothing would ever be the same. but for ms bergeron, and those like her, eye witness survivors, were overlooked. not a responder, heralded, not a victim memorialized, just a survivor, advised to be grateful she was alive. what scars and nightmares she faced alone while the community of grief passed her by. This community should be brought together to heal. All those touched not just by 9/11 but for the also forgotten 1993 attack in the garage. those survivors have a double blitz on this anniversary. and trump wanted to bring the taliban here during this week. who ever said 'o the horror' said too little
34
Article states:
“For example, a bright late-summer morning could serve as a reminder of Sept. 11, 2001, and touch off memories of the planes taking aim at the twin towers.” This is absolutely true, as it happens to me all the time. And I was indoors in a midtown office building that day.
53
that is one amazing picture of the people fleeing down the staircase. No words, really.
I wish we were better at supporting each other so that people suffering PTSD would feel the lovingkindness of community to help them after a terrible event.
38
@MJB
Having dealt with PTSD myself after a mass shooting here in 2015, I’d say there were only a handful in my community that were able to reach out to me or comprehend why things like learning about subsequent shootings in other places could be triggers. Close friends seemed bewildered when I mentioned it; some seemed to take the diagnosis as an opportunity to point out long-standing flaws in my personality (“You’ve always been too intense...”). Mental illness is still so poorly understood by most people that it’s perceived as a lack of moral courage. Now I pretty much keep silent about it all. I wish the author well. It is possible to heal.
53
@ZoProf
Thank you for commenting, and I really agree with you about people's reaction to PTSD and other mental health issues. We live in a culture where people talk only in social media and written commentary about PTSD, Depression, terrible life events, troubles with teens and spouses, etc.
We have to find more ways to not be silent and to help each other. The absolute best thing I have ever read about a community rising to deal with stoic silence was a case study from Greenland where a small community had to face multiple teen suicides and then come together to help their children deal with whatever was creating the desire to suicide.
It is a chapter in a 2012 book, Social Ecology of Resilience, edit Unger, Chapter 30, promoting community resilience with Local Values, Berliner et al.
Hope you take a look...at how the community overcame the issue by interacting more with each other in very interesting ways.
8
In 1993 the WTC was hit for the first time. I think there were only six killed in the first incident. The bomb was placed somewhere in the parking garage of I think Tower 1.
A friend called me the morning of 9/11 and told me to turn on my TV. I had moved to San Francisco in 1994, so was witnessing images that had happened a few hours prior, with my then four year old on my lap. It took more than 24 hours after processing what had happened for me to pull myself together and function "normally" again. The deluge of calls from family members and friends was overwhelming. Almost every call began with, "Oh my god, imagine if this was then!" ... and went from there.
All I could think about when I saw those images on TV was, "those poor, poor people, I hope they run down the fire stairs fast enough to get out of there in time." When I saw those desperate enough to try jumping out of windows (or those who were forced out by the impact) it stunned me to silence. Still does.
The fact that victims from the first bombing are completely forgotten is fine with me (I think) - at least I'm not constantly tapped to relay my story from that day. Some of you reading this comment might be surprised to see it mentioned.
I am a victim of the 1993 WTC bombing. I have scars that will never heal. I cringe every time Sept 11 comes around.
It would be great if some day there was a valid, working resource we could *all* tap to try to reconcile the pain.
49
@bigeyes The names of the victims from the 1993 bombing have been read in recent years on 9/11 and they were today. I wish you peace and support. These are days we NYers will never get over.
13
@bigeyes
I honor your experience and believe the majority of people do also.
Thank you for writing, and I wish you some measure of peace.
~ 9/11 family member
9
Such a sad story. Many, many others just like this of survivors, of their families, of New Yorkers who witnessed the destruction of the Towers, of First Responders, etc.,etc.
We were thousands of miles away on the West Coast, it was early morning our son was driving to school listening to NPR and called us to turn the TV on. Will never forget the shock, the disbelief and then the profound grief.
Dear New York City and all, my heart aches for you. I pray for the families and all who lost loved ones, friends, colleagues, fellow citizens.
29
Thousands of miles away from Ground Zero, I was in my first year at a tech school where classes basically shut down and we spent the day watching the coverage. I listened to the towers fall on the radio on my drive to school and later watched heavy air traffic diverted from the US fly over my school to land at YVR airport. Every plane that flew overhead scared me to death, wondering if it was going to crash into our city, too. For a long time afterward, even the sound of an airplane gave me anxiety. I still don't like to fly.
17
The contrast between the indescribably beautiful late summer day we were having in New Jersey and the death and destruction that was raining down on New York will always stay with me. To this day, I feel melancholy on similarly beautiful days in NJ, where I still live.
Last night and this morning, I re-read the names and looked at the photos -- most smiling -- of the dead from NJ and thought about how hard it must be for their families to go on. I hope the families know their loved ones have not been forgotten.
56
@JenD I lived down the shore at the time. I remember how that evening after work and school, my family watched the northeast view until sundown, while a greasy smear of smoke tainted the distant horizon. The strangest juxtaposition.
5
@Lora: I remember driving to NJ after the towers fell. I can't remember when exactly.....but as we drove on the freeway, we could see the two beams of light shining so high into the night sky. They were beautiful and it felt hopeful to see them.
5
To me this is such a lesson about the horrors of war and it makes me certain of that millions of people in countries around the world let alone Syrian civilians including children will have ptsd 18 years later on from horrific events that happen in a single day. I am proud of our country for understanding and funding after trauma care. Perhaps we could give more to the world health program too. We have to learn from this.
42
@A Reader
Amen. In perspective, most Americans have been lucky to be insulated from war.
7
@A Reader-Thank you for pointing this out. We are also complicit in traumatizing children and parents and others fleeing violence at our borders. Yes, immigration reform is desperately needed, but treating vulnerable human beings with cruelty damages everything the U.S. says it stands for.
12
There is only really one way to deal with PTSD, and that's to start your whole life over again. The biggest mistake most people make is to somehow try to be the person you were before the event. Thing is, it's not going to happen. It is a time when the word "re-creation" truly comes into being, once you make the decision.
It is, if you manage to get your head around it, an actual opportunity. For some people, that seems utterly ridiculous, but it's true. Whether or not it takes a long time to get around to that understanding is really all it comes down to: it means a complete rediscovery of who you are, the kinds of people you meet and know, and the things you think you like. It means making your life an adventure, somehow, and to face all manner of fears in order to get a semblance of agency back into your life.
In my own experience of PTSD, that was the only thing that made any sense at all.
The other thing, of course, is that all or most of your future relationships will be with people who have been through similar, life changing experiences. Events that cause PTSD are routes to the kind of wisdom that simply doesn't come from a normal, everyday life, and ordinary people simply can't relate. They'll be affected, too, since there is a ripple effect involved: the family of trauma victims can become equally traumatized, merely vicariously.
Adventure: that's the only way to look at it. Be grateful for life, and live it with greater gusto than ever.
60
@Jack Lee thank you for that advise — it makes me feel almost normal — and not alone
6
@Susan You're welcome. Whatever happened to you, your life, your beliefs, values, strengths and weaknesses have been put to the test. Some will have broken, and that's why we have such a problem "getting it back together". Our reality has been shaken to the core, and that's why we have to go back to the beginning. If you really do think of it as an opportunity to do just that, it really does turn into something positive.
Do get counseling, though, if you haven't already. You will have feelings that you'll find difficult to express, and a good counselor will help you.
A great book I would suggest is Judith Herman's book, Trauma and Recovery. Another is Walking The Tiger. There are plenty of excellent books on the subject nowdays.
Play, write, draw and paint. Dance. Express yourself. Externalize your feelings, when you can, in appropriate and safe places. Shout, scream, cry. Laugh. Mediate. Sing. Do the things you've always promised yourself you'd do. Risk. Be easy on yourself.
All the best.
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@Jack Lee Thanks so much Jack. Your words are perhaps more powerful than you know for those of us who have experienced deep trauma in our lives. I am relearning how to be with myself and allow myself lots of leeway to enjoy the process of getting to know me now in all the different facets of my life. To enjoying life now by being the best stewards of who we are and who we are to become!
Be well and all the best to you.
7
In follow-up coverage of September 11, the late journalist David Carr wrote something--I think it was in New York Magazine--to the effect of "We must always remember the jumpers." Today my thoughts are with those incredibly brave people who chose to jump from the building, and the images that capture their descents are on my mind. I am not a religious person but somehow I feel that it is a form of prayer for their souls to force myself to look at the images each year on this date. What Kayla Bergeron lived through is sheer horror.
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It shook me to my core just to watch, with a gathering crowd in front of appliance store TVs in a window at a shopping mall, the real-time news coverage of the unfolding attacks. I had been contentedly pushing my two-year-old son in a stroller through the air-conditioned space, and was eight-and-a-half months pregnant with a second child, when I noticed the crowd and joined them in front of the TVs. My immediate thought was deep sorrow and fear for my unborn child and the world into which I was bringing her. The horrible images are still with me, as with probably everyone in this country who was old enough to be aware during the time of the attacks.
I can hardly imagine what sort of demons local witnesses and ground-zero survivors must contend with - beyond the physical effects of exposure - even all these years later. Many commenters here have shared moving accounts. They have my sympathy, and I wish them - and Kayla Bergeron and so many others - peace.
53
Kayla Bergeron is a survivor. She endured one of the most horrific incidents of our history. Her story is important. Not just as a memory of an attack, but of living beyond that moment. She has much to teach us. It is easy to forget. Memory is slippery. After all those who were alive on the day of the attacks have died what will keep the memory alive? It is the stories of people like Ms. Bergeron. By telling her story, by surviving beyond the moments of horror lived and relived, she gives history humanity. She has a purpose. All survivors of outrageous trauma have purpose. They are our teachers on how to survive, they are the pieces of our history that makes history about people: our mothers and fathers, our siblings, our grandparents our friends. And it is our humanity that connects us over time and distance. Thank you for surviving, Ms Bergeron. You are important. You are worthwhile. Tell your story. I will listen
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This was our generations 'Pearl Harbor' event. It took a five year full on military effort to address the perpetrators. After 18 long hard years we continue military operations in the Middle East to prevent another catastrophe on our soil. We will not and should not get over this heinous assault. We lost a lot, people and personal freedoms taken for granted like boarding a plane, entering a public building etc. The costs are high but we must remain vigilant or suffer he consequences.
16
@Jim The perpetrators were Saudis. As such, there never was a five year full-on military effort to address the perpetrators.
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@Chris from PA
And our current president is in bed with the Saudis and kowtows to them all the time. No matter what heinous crime the Saudi's commit (Khashoggi's murder), he downplays their involvement. He is amoral, immoral, and unethical!
20
Ms. Bergeron's experience evacuating the WTC is one survivor story profiled within the 9/11 exhibit at the New York State Museum. Her dust-covered shoes are on display; a television monitor and audio recordings report her harrowing evacuation from the 68th floor of the North Tower.
May she and and so many others gather the support and resources they need to better heal.
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and still the us continues to drop bombs on cities towns and villages every day of every week of every year
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I’m sure so many of us remember exactly what we were doing when this tragedy played out before our very eyes. I certainly do and I happened to be watching it on tv. Simply beyond any possible understanding of what was happening!! One particular heartbreaking moment for me was when the many first responders gathered so bravely to rescue the survivors, and then there were so few still alive to rescue.
53
@Mowgli For me, the saddest moment was seeing doctors and nurses from St. Vincent's Hospital, who had gone to the scene to do triage, returning back to the hospital with their equipment when it became clear that after the towers fell, there would be virtually no survivors to triage.
52
I saw the same forsaken scene of medical staff and trolleys lined up outside Bellevue Hospital railings but no ambulances coming up First Ave from the scene. Terribly sad.
8
@Mowgli I lived and worked in the west village at the time. it was so utterly tragic to walk by St. Vincents and the Missing Wall. What dread, horror, disappointment and loss.
3
It’s time for the 9/11 survivors to be properly acknowledged. We welcome cancer survivors to share their stories publicly; why not survivors of terrorism? There are thousands all over the world. May they know they are not alone and may they find peace.
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People who can't get benefits because of some absurd catch 22 should contact John Stewart.
7
I was walking from my East Village apartment that morning to work in Tribeca. I could see the towers burning at every cross street, and was about 10 feet from 6th Avenue when the first tower fell. I heard what sounded like the entire city scream at the same time! I will forever grapple with that day, as well as the weeks and months that followed, when the anguish in the air was as palpable as the horrible smell that filled it. I will forever divide my life into before and after 9/11. I feel the same loss and emptiness whenever we go and bomb another country, knowing that innocent people are suffering needlessly at our hands.
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@Mrs.Button Thanks for sharing your story. I am sure many Americans who have survived mass shootings feel this anxiety every day and have painful memories. We can and must do something about the terrorists in our own country killing our children and others daily.
38
@Mrs.Button
Thanks for recognizing in your last sentence that these horrors happen to innocents everwhere - even if their country or at least government is considered "enemy".
30
@Jacquie, thank you so much, I could not agree more. Only now in hindsight do I see how 9/11 was just the beginning of the domestic terrorism that is happening all around us, more and more. On a personal level, we lost a 13-year-old member of our extended family in Parkland, and just a few weeks ago, a would-be shooter was thankfully foiled in his attempt to shoot up a JCC about 30 miles from our home. If I am just one person who has already been impacted several times over, it will not be long until a substantial portion of our population will be wrestling with PTSD (among many other difficulties).
27
I am so upset with the attack on our democracy, global democracy, the environment, children in camps, the breakdown of the rule of law, wealth concentration, alternate truth and a hundred other insults to decency by the Trump/Putin machine that I am having difficulting navigating my feelings. I struggle to function. I often feel sad. Could we all be unconsciously experiencing a touch of PTSD by the Trump/Barr/Bolton types exercising power over us?
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@Stephen Bin Laden was successful in that regard, so much insecurity!
10
Thank you for focusing on PTSD, on Sept.11.
We may all have traumatic experiences that DISTORT our lives.
But, we may also have SCARY events, that can motivate us.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
On Sept.12, 2016, I fell down and hit my head, while J-walking.
It was a sharp blow, but fortunately, I was OK, with a small cut.
But since the accident, I religiously use the traffic button to cross.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, three years, after my fall, I am still careful not to J-walk.
Perhaps some trauma can help us all to change for the BETTER.
5
My daughter Lindsay went to new York University. She stayed at Greenwich a home for students. She told me everything was fine? But later she helped the firemen clear their eyes from the smoke.
A friend could not be found at Greenwich. Later she came out on the steps, dressed to the nine‘s. She stated, if I go, I’m going in style.
23
@Bob Washick
The only comment that has made me laugh today, because of the shining, defiant, human spirit in the face of horror.
4
Here in Hoboken this morning I can hear the church bells, and the weather is almost as beautiful as it was that morning, and I surprise myself by getting tears in my eyes yet again. I still get a little nervous when fighter jets or low-flying helicopters pass over the town. I wasn't at the WTC that day; I only watched the burning towers from a hill at Stevens Institute of Technology as my son, then 3, fussed in his stroller. Later, my family and neighbors sat on our stoops as those who had walked home from Manhattan passed us as if they were walking through nightmares (they were). The bars were packed for days--all day. The town smelt of burnt metal, and the cloud around the towers looked horrifically beautiful in the river's light. And then there were the "missing" flyers...everywhere.
It was weeks later when I realized as I was falling asleep that what I'd thought had been debris falling from the towers had been people.
And yet, my family and I were safe and relatively far away, and we lost no one we knew. So I still feel enormous sympathy and respect for those who WERE there and somehow survived, and those who lost loved ones, no matter what has happened in their lives since then.
Sometimes people deride those with substance/alcohol issues, those who can't hold jobs, etc. We need to keep in mind that we can't know what might have brought someone to that place.
I wish everyone peace and healing on this sad and beautiful September day.
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@NGB
I appreciate your comment. It reveals the nice person that you are. Thank you for writing
23
I really feel for these families who lost loved ones or suffered trauma, especially since I was fairly close to the disaster that day. As I was listening to today’s memorial ceremony, however, it was unfortunate to hear one of the relatives politicize the event and attack Minnesota’s Rep. Omar as a representative of her Muslim faith. There is no place for such hate at this ceremony and I expect organizers to take steps to prevent such a display at future ceremonies. The purpose of this event is to unite and pay tribute to those who lost their lives or were otherwise affected, not to divide us further.
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@LIChef
Representative Omar is not being criticized for her faith, but rather for her consistent condemnations of US foreign and domestic policy. The lack of gratitude she conveys to a broad swath of Americans is perhaps the Trump administration's best argument to support a reduction in the number of refugees the US accepts each year.
6
@Middleman MD
I am a fifth-generation American.
Representative Omar's condemnations deserve respect, if for no other reason than they're truth.
Lack of gratitude to a oligarch is no mistake.
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@Middleman MD-U.S. policies including the undeclared war on Iraq (not Saudi Arabia) has led to hundreds of thousands dead, even more maimed, plus two million refugees forced onto neighboring countries. Under Trump, Iraqi translators and others who helped U.S. soldiers will not be allowed in this country as promised.
24
The attack on the World Trade Centers had little to do with the peoples of New York City and should not be viewed as reflecting adversely upon them. Racism, discrimination, exploitative trade practices and even mysticism (yes) contributed to an unleashing of rage, a venting of sorts, upon what many viewed as an 'icon' of globalized social injustice.
GOD have mercy upon the victims and nurture them on their path to recovery.
19
I'm sorry to contradict Dr. Moline but the notion that PTSD can develop anytime after the trauma is not exactly accurate. The majority of those patients have PTSD symptoms soon after the trauma that go unrecognized for years. The so-called delayed-onset PTSD (i.e. having PTSD symptoms for the first time years after the trauma) is rarely seen. It is more common among patients who are in a position to receive disability benefits for their mental health condition. On a quasi related note, I think it is great that the Congress allocated a vast amount of resources for the 9/11 responders but I wish a fraction of those funds would be made available for inner-city children who are traumatized every day.
27
@Steve I am very interested to read studies and analyze data that led to your conclusion that some WTC survivors “use” PTSD to get disability benefits. Please, I am not asking for your credentials (professional have different opinions), or anecdotal data, but rather for research based studies and conclusions on the subject. I would appreciate links to studies and/or a bibliography on the subject. Thanks much.
5
@Susan There is no such conclusion in my comment. If I were to guess I would say that the majority of the WTC survivors with so-called delayed PTSD had unnoticed or unacknowledged PTSD symptoms all along. As to using PTSD to get benefits for WTC survivors: I am not aware of any scientific literature on this subject. But I can also imagine that any researcher who would dare conduct a study on this may see their career come to a swift end, especially if they reach the "wrong" conclusions.
2
“PTSD doesn’t have a time limit..” That is so true. But sadly and equally true is the fact that so many people think grief *should* have a time limit. We live in a world that worships "moving on" and "achieving closure" and "getting over it." No wonder people are forced to minimize.
Thanks for this story. It's powerful and important.
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@Claudia U. Not to mention a president who thinks PTSD sufferers are "weak."
5
This is a beautifully written and sad story. I am so sorry for this woman and I admire her for telling her story. I have no doubt that there are many others like her. My daughter was a college student in Manhattan when the attacks occurred. She had been there only two weeks and the school closed down for only a few days afterward. One of her classmates committed suicide two weeks later by jumping off the roof of the dorm. My daughter was deeply traumatized just from being in the city when it happened, but because she was not in the building, she refused help. I firmly believe that she suffers from PTSD after being in the city. So many are suffering in silence.
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Thanks to all the first responders who responded that day and the days that followed. You are all heroes.
My thoughts and prayers to all those affected by this tragedy.
61
‘People told us, ‘Be happy to be alive.’ We minimized ourselves afterward, and it all built up over the years.”’
It’s funny how we won’t let people have their own feelings about an experience. We need to reframe it positively for them, but really we are just talking for ourselves, with very little regard for the person actually experiencing the event.
I find it interesting that the journalist mentioned Ms. Bergeron’s mother’s illness and death in passing, as if they were secondary to the main event. To me, it sounded more like a second trauma and what finally pushed her over the edge. Can there ever be space for grief in such a convenience oriented society?
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@Damhnaid well said—good point about the compounding of losses.
38
@Damhnaid
Thank you for focusing on PTSD, on Sept.11.
We may all have traumatic experiences that DISTORT our lives. But, we may have SCARY events, that can motivate.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
On Sept.12, 2016, I fell down and hit my head, while J-walking. It was a sharp blow, but fortunately, I was OK, with a small cut. But since the accident, I religiously use the traffic button to cross.
Now, three years, falling, I am still careful not to J-walk. Perhaps trauma can help us all to change for the BETTER.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
2
@Harry Pearle
Every day something can happen for good or for the bad. Sept. 11, was a disaster, but it reminds us to learn from events.
Take Donald Trump, for example. Every day is a fresh disaster for us to learn from, or ignore.
"Those who cannot remember the past
are condemned to repeat it." (Santayana)
Will 2020 be an election opportunity or a disaster?
--------------------------------------------------------------
4
I worked at a near by university and watched it out the window. We put the radio on and heard about the Pentagon and my body started to shake all over. I was in charge and I couldn't loose it. At that moment it was as if an invisible shield slamed down around me and I moved on and took care of my students. That shield has never left.
116
In this powerful story is a sobering reminder: the nation as a whole has STILL not come to terms with the grief and trauma of that horrible, horrible day. It has in fact colored everything since. Almost immediately after it happened, the march to war began, despite the outpouring of compassion and connection and calls to peace from around the world. The Republican Party, along with many prominent democrats, took advantage of the trauma people were suffering and led us in to two endless conflicts.
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@Wm. Blake Just like so many have still not come to terms with their involvement in Vietnam, along with the Government's recklessness in that conflict... for some, what happened on Sept 11, 2001 will never end. :(
26
@Wm. Blake Yes, I mourn deeply what our country has become in the wake of 9/11. It didn' thave to be this way.
72
@Wm. Blake too bad we hadn't learned by then that war and conflict should never be the path followed.
23