From my experience, being wronged and forgiving the wronger is one of the hardest, most selfless things to do. Forgiving is more powerful than holding grudges. I feel at the end of the day, you are writhing in these negative thoughts. Soon you will become negative. Soon it will become painful. Reflecting on being wronged or wronging someone is a healthy way to overcome obstacles in the future. In my opinion, you should always look ahead and see what can be done differently. Remaining in the past will only reflect your old behaviors. To live is to learn and to keep moving forward.
Everybody who has been wronged by someone in some way knows how difficult and painful can be forgiving. I belive we must forgive people who have inflicted damage upon us in order to fully heal. We cannot mend those searing emotional wounds inflicted by someone we love and care about without forgiving and forgetting. Througout my whole life, I have harbored feelings of resentment towards my father for how he abused my mother. Even though the abuse ceased many years ago, I have refused to forgive him because as a child, it was the most horrible form of cruelty I could ever witness and as a teenager, the disturbing and excruciating memories keep haunting me. I know I need to forgive him, but I can't because my mind refuses to forget. After all these years, any type of violence against women by a spouse depicted on televison reduces me to tears as it evokes the indelible memories. My father isn't the person he used to be at the time. He now is able to control his anger and treats my mother with respect and love. It is time to forgive him and let him enter my life because I need him more than ever and want my heart to stop suffering.
Forgiveness can be so hard, and forgiving people we love can be way harder because we tend to care about their opinion the most. I think forgiveness is a spiritual thing, something that must be done fully within. I've learned to forgive many people over the years mainly because I've learned that holding onto what they've done to me only hurts me more. It feels so good to just let go of all the things they've said or done, but I really don't think I'll ever forget the way they made me feel. Allowing myself to remember how they made me feel, only makes me want to treat them kindly because I know how it feels to be treated horribly. In some circumstances, I don't think forgiving people is always the right answer, especially if trying to forgive them causes too much pain. However, forgiving people allows you to let go and benefits you in the best way possible because once you forgive them, you will finally be free to live your life to the fullest without any grudges or resentment.
Forgive and Forget, Forgive and Never Forget, Resentment. People have so much to say about forgiveness. I say Forgive but Never Forget. Many people are going to do you wrong in life but in my opinion it is not worth it to hold that grudge. What is it going yo do for you? What is the satisfaction of holding on to what they said? I feel you should always forgive one for doing you wrong but you do not ever have to forget what they said to you.
Within the article Taylor Swift talks about how resentment sometimes can be good. That you don’t have to forgive the person all the time. I feel why do you have to hold the weight of what people say and do to you? It may take one a longer time to forgive than another but you should at least try to forgive those who have done you wrong. Especially if you were the one on the wrong I think you would want them to forgive you for your misdoings as well.
@Jadah Armour I agree that people should forgive others, and not hold onto the grudge. While that person may have done you wrong, or made you feel terrible, it isn't worth hanging onto the resentment, and you should try to find a way to try to forgive them, or at least tolerate them. Depending on what they have done to you, you don't have to think of them in the same way, but by trying to avoid them or push down feelings of resentment, you end up just making yourself feel bad. It is especially important, as you said, to forgive other, because if you were the one had done wrong, you would want them to do the same. This forgiveness could even strengthen your friendship with them by putting more trust in your relationship, by accepting what they have done to you.
The article "When Have You Either Forgiven Someone or Been Forgiven Yourself?" asks about times you have forgiven those who have wronged you. And I have forgiven many people for small or big things they have done that were wrong I forgive very quickly and I am very passive. For a while my friends and I would " forgive each other quickly" but we wouldn't fully forgive each other so it builds up a lot of resentment in our relationships. It doesn't seem to be a problem anymore because we have all come to like realization that we don't mean to wrong each other. But I do believe that people deserve 2nd chances because everyone makes mistakes and wrongs other people whether they mean to or not. But I have never been a person to hold grudges or hate people, I actually might even forgive people too easily in times where I should actually tell them what they have done isn't ok and occasionally my least forgiveness has been a problem but I think being too forgiving can be good in some ways because it makes you have less conflicts but at the same time it can make you more likely to be taken advantage of by people.
1/2 In my opinion, I completely agree with what the article states about not always having to forgive someone. Sometimes the easiest way forward is acceptance. For example, I had a friend who I decided to trust with some personal issues I was dealing with, but he decided to use the trust I had bestowed upon him to his advantage and tell multiple people what I had told him, completely butchering our friendship. I eventually brought myself to forgive him, because I thought hey, we’re only human, and besides he seemed to really regret it. We became close again and yet again he took advantage of my trust and manipulated me. But this time I didn’t forgive him. I didn’t let him back into my life. I saw a pattern and was unwilling to succumb to it another time. Even though it was hard, I saw that acceptance of the fact that our friendship had and would always fail was going to nurture more personal healing and growth for me than trying for a third time to benefit us both through forgiveness. I did what was best for me because there comes a point when that is the only thing you can do; I could no longer put him first while also protecting myself. I do disagree with the statement that you should go through life resenting someone for what they did to you. Even if you do for a time, if you want to lead a happy life you have to learn how to live with what they did without wanting to burst into tears or punch a wall. Life must go on, and you have to live with the things you can’t control.
2/2 But completely forgiving them and letting them back into your life is also not always the best thing to do and in many instances can be highly detrimental to personal happiness. The healthiest and safest thing is to maintain balance in who, and more importantly how, you forgive.
I believe that you should always forgive someone, no matter what. It is not healthy to hold grudges against people because we all do wrong and we all make mistakes because we are human. If you did something uncalled for to someone wouldn’t you want to be forgiven? I am a Christian and something I’ve always been told is to treat people the way you want to be treated and also to forgive as you have been forgiven by God. I strongly believe those things and I always will. So why should you continue not to forgive someone if you want them to forgive you? When you hold a grudge against someone the only person your hurting is yourself.
Why waste precious time being vengeful or angry with someone over something in the past? We are all simple humans. Humans make mistakes, have lapses in judgement or just make the wrong decisions from time to time. I have felt wronged by people I have considered close friends, family, and even by people I do not know. Two wrongs don’t make a right is the way I see things. I am a non-denominational christian and I have been taught to have mercy on others so that God may have mercy on me. I always make it a point to have grace for someone who is struggling to make the right decisions. Have you ever heard someone say treat others the way you would like to be treated? That is a valuable statement. The next time you feel you are wronged put yourself in the wrong doers shoes, take their thoughts or reasonings into perspective even if they don’t make sense. Sometimes people cry out for attention in weird ways. They might want someone to sit down with them and make an effort to figure them out. Making an effort to view their perspective may change how you respond to certain situations such as being wronged.
yes i have forgiven somebody who has done me wrong in the past. i feel like forgiveness is for our own growth. if we hold on to that pain, hurt, and anger for so long it harms us more than it is harming the person we are angry or upset with. i always tell myself "forgive but never forget". i believe forgiveness is an important way to move forward with life.
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Throughout my life time most of my friends derived from school. After leaving that school the friendship faded. The last friendship lasted throughout school and beyond. We met through my sister, we went on to college and kept in touch. The friendship ended abruptly without a reason. New romantic partners enter and also children, and different locations. Periodically she would say hello but never offer an explanation. For me no new friendship has come along, I don’t make friends
My opinion is we should never keep resent in our hearts because that is not good for our minds’ wellness. Sometimes is very difficult to forgive someone who has damaged us. However we have to try to do it because a person who has resentments cannot live in peace. That is why it is very important to forgive those who have hurt us. We could not do it alone, so we should deposit our minds and hearts in God’ hands. He will help us to forgive.
I don’t think that everyone forgiveness because when they make a lot of mistakes them they think that they can do more and more so if they do the first time they can do the seconds one. Too people are really changing because there are already people who have no feelings for what and what to forgive if later they will do the same to you but forgive but not for you if not so that they do not give you more damage if not to another people. When you give your forgiveness they took advantage of that and sometimes more of your pain because they do not know what it is when they say sorry for something that really was not you who did it if not they themselves who did that damage so it is good hard to forgive people in this time, it does not matter at this time because when they hurt you they do it and it does not matter how it feels to you oh if it hurt a lot but then they say that people are bad but many lie because the one who does evil always wants forgiveness but already you do not forgive so many things that they do and that they do it without knowing what the other person thinks about that oh if it looks nice so much damage that they do. Some time ago a person told me a lie and I had proof of everything that was happening and I never imagined that I knew everything and after I just said that I did not do it, had everything I did and really do not forgive him for That I speaks lies so if you want to be a person who only speaks lies, it is better that you want in my life.
I think forgiveness is a concept related more with someone’s personality than with religious or ethics concepts, in everyone’s life we forgive or be forgiven sometime. I don’t think forgiveness is the only way to go forward because not all the people deserve to be forgiven it depends of what they did or what effects their action caused or what people they hurt. I am Christian person and this religion suggest forgiveness in all the cases when you are hurt without being analytic about the reasons, it suggests “you have to offer the other cheek when one is hurt” however this kind of submission only can generate abuse from the person who did it, it means that in can occur again and again without ending.
I agree with the people in the article who say that it’s acceptable not to forgive and forget as a requisite to go forward, because when someone does something bad to you I consider it as a kind of treason, it breaks the confidence you have with the traitor, there is an invisible line of confidence in every relationship that doesn’t have to be broken, but when it is affected, it’s really difficult to forgive and continue as nothing had happened. I never had a situation in a very serious level to not forgive the infractor, not even as important to be mentioned here but I have to said, being honest, I have forgotten every time I have been hurt. Actually I think it was a good decision. !it felt good…really!
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In my opinion, forgiveness is a person that has freedom of problems without punishment. I think forgiveness is not a person that cannot take revenge and forgive is a person that they can be a good person. I do not think that forgiveness is not well, because there are people who hurt us. When a person has a relationship, that person hurts us because sometimes they are toxic person. There is no opportunity for that person to change because it is toxic and hurts people who are good.
People always think if we forgive someone, then we will forget his or her fault too. In fact, forgive is easier than forget. If someone cheated you, even though you forgive that person, however, in your memory have never forgotten. In my opinion, if a person deserve forgiveness that depending on their severity of the fault and you want to forgive or not. I have forgiven my best friend. Because I thought she deserve forgiveness. Moreover I don’t want to hate someone because that also make yourself unhappy. Try to give a chance the person who did wrong, and try to make you free.
Forgive is the most difficult thing that a human can do, because when I am feeling hurt sometimes I cannot be the same with that person. I think forgive is stop feeling angry, resentful. For me forgive is a big word and a big feeling that can bring many bad situations is we do not know how to manage, because when a person feels like that with someone sometimes we looks for revenge, and that is not a good feeling. Almost four months ago I had to cross a bad situation and I felt wasted, but I learn that everyone cross our life because need to teach us something. Now I feel that I cannot forgive her, I am still working in that.
Forgiveness is the way that most people think that their lives are going to be better. It is a good way, but not the only one. There are things that we simply do not want to forgive. Resentment is not a feeling that makes us move back in our lives. We will never depend on resentment or forgiveness to move forward. Our lives depend on the things that we do today to have a better future, not on feelings. However if we want to forgive someone, because we feel bad that will not make us weak people. As humans we only have to find a way to feel good with ourselves.
I believe that forgiveness is very hard because it depends on the offense that we had. Even we can not have resentment because it is not good for us. Moreover resentment is a factor that can be destructible for us. I believe that with the time we should forgive and have a way forward. Moreover we can be able to give another opportunity and also another people give to us too.
I agree with Taylor Swift because everyone wants respect and if you do not show it do not expect his or her respect. On the other hand, it is not good for you to have anger inside of you. I remember my best friend and I used to fight a lot. Some of them were difficult to resolve. However, we have always fixed our problems because we do not like to live hating each other. In addition, we grew up with different cultures and we think different, but now we are in a new age to forgive each other even though it is not easy. Most of the time people life with jealousy it is because you feel inferior or superior to the other person. Lastly, it is better life with harmony, loving others and always being humble.
Sometimes forgiving those who hurt you is difficult for you, but you need to do it otherwise you not be able to continue with your life. However, you have a final decision to forgive people who have hurt you because once you also hurt someone in the past.
Never try to feel superior to others or inferior. Just try to keep yourself full of love and peace. If you are continuously thinking about the resentment from the person who hurt you, remember life sometimes is bittersweet.
Many people doesn’t forgive because they feel that the offended and fill with resentment. In my opinion always we must forgive because everybody are imperfect. We have to leave the all things in hand of God. The base is doesn’t take anything personal. We must be relax in any problem, and situation familiar or labor. The people doesn’t have to permit that the affect themselves because begin to grow up the resentment and this feels not is nothing agree. For example sometimes in the family when does not forgive cause much separation familiar in the longer of our life.
When I was 16 years old, my parent divorced behaviors and then my father moved to New York City, this affects my relationship with my father. Ten years before, I can spoken with my father about it and I apologized for judging him during all that time. So I think that at some point in our life the people need to forgive someone or forgive yourself and I’m not exception. After I spoke with my father I feel better and we have a good relationship.
I think that forgiveness and forget are words so easy to say but this words working together are very difficult to do. Everybody needs a second change. However when someone did a mistake or hurt you and you decided to forget and forgive its OK. But for me doesn’t exist third change, some person never understand that real values of this actions and they do it again.
In my opinion I think that forgiveness is a way to heal ourselves, I don't think we should always live resentful because we have to take into account that people make mistakes. I think that forgiveness is really a good way to stay in peace and so we can learn at the same time what things we should not do so that people do not hurt us, it is simply a way to keep evolving. Forgetting is the best way for us to get peace of mind
To me, forgiveness is for you and not the other person. To not truly forgive someone causes the issue to weigh heavy on your heart. It causes you to constantly revisit the issue, creating different scenarios in your head about what should or shouldn't have happened. Trying to forgive my dad has been one of the hardest things I've struggled with throughout my life. For a very long time I have been mad at my dad for not taking care of me the way a father should. His absence has cost me a lot, such as the luxury of not working at such a young age. He hasn't supported me financially or emotionally during my entire 18 years of life. The hardest part of the situation is he had the resources to support me financially, and be a good father. Does he deserve to be forgiven? No. But if I don't forgive him I'll spend the rest of my life angry at him. If I don't forgive him I'll spend the rest of my life wondering why he is the way he is, and maybe that's not for me to know. Forgiveness does nothing for the person you're forgiving. It's for you. It's a tool that should be used.
Forgiveness is such a complex action, it takes more than just saying 'I forgive you' to truly forgive someone, it takes a lot of thought and consideration. Being hurt by someone you trust leads to problems like self doubt and no trust in yourself and also the other person. Depending o the dept of the issue I don't believe everyone deserves forgiveness. Sometimes you can be hurt so bad that you never truly recover from the incident and you have to live with those negative emotions forever. In instances like those, you can't truly forgive anyone because you can't find the want to allow yourself to let it pass. Also being hurt by the same person multiple times is another instance where forgiveness is just unneccesary. Forgiveness is something earned not given because it feels right, allowing people to hurt you and just letting them back in gives them the opening to just hurt you agaian. Some people dont deserve forgiveness but, when and if there is a time to forgive you will.
Most people don't deserve forgiveness but I do believe that it is better to not have all of that pent up in your heart. I have been hurt by someone who was once a good friend. One day, out of nowhere he sent me a long paragraph of how I was a "bad friend" and how I wasn't "putting any effort or helping them." I was very hurt reading the message as I thought I was doing the best that I can. I confronted him saying that every time I tried to check on him that he wouldn't respond or just opened it or how I lost hours of sleep trying to comfort him. Hearing those words changed me for the worse. He ended up blocking me and we never spoke again after that. As much as it hurts to lose a friend, I ended up forgiving him but never told him that I did, After I came to that conclusion to forgive, my chest felt lighter. I didn't have to carry all of this anger anymore. I still wish nothing but the best for those who i forgave. I don't want to be associated with them anymore but that doesn't mean that I hate them.
Forgiveness, to me, is such an important part of the healing process. In order to forgive someone, you also have to forgive yourself. When someone hurts you deeply, you often blame yourself for not being able to prevent that pain. When I was in 7th grade, I met someone who became one of my best friends throughout the rest of middle school. We hung out all the time and texted every day. I trusted him and thought the friendship was genuine. I was wrong. It turned out that being my friend was all a part of a dare he was given. At first, I was in shock. Then, a state of denial. Then, the sadness poured in. So many emotions were all tangled up in a big ball of humiliation. I believed that I should have seen it coming. I had to realize that in order to have peace of mind and be able to move on, I had to forgive myself. There was nothing I did wrong, yet still I felt like it was my fault. I needed time to heal. It has been a couple of years now and I finally reached a point where I forgave him. Holding on to that pain was not good for me. To this day, we don’t speak but if we did all I would say is “I forgive you.”
@Ayanna Pinkston
That is an amazing analysis.
I am not quite sure why we blame ourselves when someone does us wrong. I think it's because we put ourselves out there and trust that we won't get hurt by someone else.
Not everyone deserves forgiveness. Why should a person forgive someone if they hurt them really badly. Also people shouldn't forgive someone that easily, well depending on what they did. If they broke something that belonged to then they should be forgiven because we are humans and accidents do happen, but why forgive someone, so easily, if they hurt mentally or physically? You shouldn't. Forgiveness shouldn't be something that is just given out but something that is earned the right way. Yes people do make mistakes and yes they should be forgiven for their mistakes but it all depends on how deep the mistake was. an evil person isn't going to make a small mistake, no, they are going to make a mistake that will hurt you greatly. So no, not everyone deserves forgiveness.
We live in a time where all people have mistakes and problems with something, problems in their houses, with their family or something else, the forgiveness is a principal thing that all people should have in their mean, give a second chance and don’t think in the consequences, its human to offer forgiveness and give opportunity of chance, in the word always exist the envy and hypocrisy but is something with what we should learn to live, offer forgiveness is of great people and this is an important value.
Most of the people it is hard to forget something they happened in their life or someone how sill there and is hard to forgiven. For example a lot of famous person or common person they have a bad experience in one moment and always try to forget but it’s hard to do because some people are wakens. Cannon handle because they feel that person is the reason to life. Some people says if you talked about you should be feel better. A lot people they said it is hard to give forgiven to someone you hour you in the past but is good to give forgiven all the person nor matter what are doing to us.
Forgiveness is a small word for something much larger: trust. I believe trust and forgiveness go hand-in-hand. To trust someone means to give them trust. Whether its a heinous crime for a white lie forgiveness is a lot more than just saying one forgives. It has to come from the heart, which also means it is a lot harder to truly forgive someone for anything. Even something as petty as stealing gum could ruin a person's trust on another person.Someone not forgiving someone else can we get to doubting others even if nothing has happened the consequences of both forgiving and not forgiving can be heavy. For instance, if one forgives another too easily, the person who had been forgiven as well as others could take the forgiveness as a way to make the same mistake again.Forgiveness is to be earned like trust sometimes not forgiving can have a negative and positive impact with equal magnitude.
My beliefs on forgiveness have always been blurred. Whether it rains down on religion or lightly mists on my own rights as a person, iv'e always been confused by the rules and borders. Instead, I shrugged off my pain afflicted from others and focused on myself.