Quite the headline. On the second try at infidelity. This is NUTS! I can't believe there are not more comments. Some years ago the Times ran a Vows column about a couple who'd met when one or both were married to others and commenters went to town with indignation.
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To all the haters... what are you hating? The age difference? It's not a big gap. Im married to a man 10 years older than me... and Id marry him again if he was the same man, 10 years younger. The fact that he liked her when she was sixteen? She was probably more mature and grounded than many 16 year olds, and he doesn't just mention her looks in his narrative. They are just just enamoured now as they were then. The fact that they were unhappy in other marriages? They have been together for over 28 years! Good for them for insisting on their own happiness. I am sure that their other partners might not paint a rosy picture. But that is why they are the exes. Let's hope they moved on and found their own happiness. Making the exes and family "victims" is not only unfair to this couple, but unfair to the people you refer to. For all you haters know, the exes might be perfectly content with the way their own lives moved on. Don't perpetuate victimhood. Save it for true victims.
8
I have read and reread this piece several times. It seems that the "wife" was 24 years old when she approached a married man with a room key to a Hilton and said let's meet up. He then proceeded to have an affair with the 24 year old for 5 years, before, finally, having the guts to divorce his wife. So, at 40 he divorces his first wife, for his mistress, who is now 31 years old. I don't see a place where we celebrate the fact that he was a coward for five years. How long would he had been married if he had fully committed to his first wife, by now? His first marriage wasn't "real", he was drawn to a 16 year old girl who stocked the shelves, because she " was not defensive and nice to look at". NYT, I am 100% positive, you could find a couple married a long time, even 2nd and 3rd marriages, that do not start when a child is lusted after by a married man.
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I’m happy the two of them are happy together but the way they got there feels really sketchy, almost creepy. Who wants a spouse who is writing every day to someone else, for years and years? Love is messy but the betrayal here is not cool.
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Well I loved this story because it is real and believable. Life and love is not neat and tidy. It is frequently unimaginably messy. I met a woman I loved almost by accident when she walked into a business I owned (named after my dogs) and we laughed a lot. The time was not right and I was still grieving the death of my wife. But through the sadness she immediately changed my life. Our relationship lasted about 4 good years and 2 sad ones and has now turned to friendship. I am alone once more and I don’t know if I will find love again but I hope I do and I hope she finds it even more.
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The Dude does not abide what happened in this story. Seriously, am I the only one who feels like this could possibly be the least romantic and most disturbing spotlight on modern love the NYT has featured this year?
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@Jeff Lebowski
Agree, its pretty disturbing actually; that it happened and that the couple involved, the author & the "publisher" all seem to be promoting it as an inspirational story of romance, committment & love. Whatever it may be, there are ex-partners, children and other family involved here who likely felt hurt, shelved & marginalized as a result of flight or fancy. Out of respect to those forgotten victims, they should either have been given the chance to add their own voices to the story, or... how about we just not publish the tale in the first place so as to avoid re-victimizing and newly-harming anyone!
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28 years, 10 months and counting. And a radiance that can be seen from about a mile out. Truth will out, and it should.
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