Well written. You have described the Alaskan experience. However, around here we talk more about the fish we catch and eat. About the Crab and how fickle the weather is. The storms that come up and one survives. That's what gives life satisfaction. The open spaces that one can never give up, once they are experienced. The feeling of being self sufficient. When hungry, catch a fish and fry it up in the boat. I have lived in Juneau 30 years and never want to move anywhere else. I have found Paradise.
18
Everyone has an opinion. We've been sailing with ours since the age of 2 in Superior - not quite as challenging as the Pacific Northwest - but a nasty lake when she wants to be. At 2 - she knew that tacking meant it was time to relocate the Polly Pockets to the high side of the boat. And she did her fair share of vomiting into tupperware. She's now a teenage and an accomplished 420 racer. I see nothing to criticize what these folks are doing and will not that 32 feet is a perfect size to singlehand when needed.
15
Wow! As a sailor myself, I think you exposed your kids to needless risk. I, too, love the sea and have sailed among the San Juans and a bit further north. But given the *potential* for problems, which you so adequately describe, I wonder about the advisability of bringing young children into that kind of situation. Seems to me your job is to protect them, not expose them to danger.
Couldn't you have waited until they were at least teenagers?
26
A lot of people seem utterly horrified that a parent would take a toddler on a sailing expedition. I think maybe your horror is a little misplaced. Toddlers and parents deserve experiences just as much as the rest of us.
Life is inherently risky. Cars, bikes, playgrounds, childhood diseases, and other threats are everywhere. The only difference is for those threats, there is no reward to go with the risk. Let people raise their children as they see fit, so long as they are capable of being compassionate, loving parents who instill their children with values and give them the chance to have a happy and fulfilling life.
39
I apologize to Caroline Van Hemert for the statements made by those critical of the wonderful experiences you have provided your family. Far more dangerous to drive home from the beach amongst drunk drivers at the end of a holiday weekend on the New Jersey Turnpike, mixed with tractor trailers tailgating, than your perfectly sane and safe voyage.
37
This report gave me the willies.
I grew up and loved the waterways around the great Chesapeake estuary. Though it's generally far calmer than the Inside Passage reported here, I learned the sneaky, sudden hazards of winds and currents, hidden shoals and other unseen obstacles. Over time I acquired a subconscious "radar" that automatically activated and began scanning even before I'd cast off in a boat. There were a number of times that a "creepy feeling" I couldn't explain prevented me from going out or going on just before big trouble arose.
All it took was my first lingering views from the banks of Lake Michigan and the Mississippi river to resolve that I would not go out on them in a small craft. I got the same prickle of apprehension reading "treacherous waters" in the headline of Ms. Mert's report. I assume (hope) their journey concluded safely.
But I suspect that if it had waited on me, the Mayflower would have never left port.
9
Inspirational! My wife and I too sailed our 30 foot sloop from Annapolis MD to Lake Ontario with our then 1 year old son. He was always wearing a life preserver and, when on deck, tethered to a secure part of the cockpit. Yes, as the saying goes, sailing is characterized by long periods of boredom punctuated by moments of sheer terror! And, indeed, we had our adventures on this trip: A knockdown during a severe squall in Delaware Bay; an engine fire at dusk off Barnegat Light NJ (avoid gasoline engines!! We learned our lesson); Failed electrical system going up the Hudson River; 40 locks on the Erie and Oswego Canals, some with a lift of about 40 feet; restepping the mast to cross Lake Ontario to get to Cape Vincent and the entrance to the St. Lawrence. Our primary problem with the 1 year old was that regardless of the emergency, he needed to eat! The 1 year old survived and has continued his sailing career to date. Yes, the more you sail, the more adventures that you have. But experience makes this a safe avocation and not to be avoided for fear of disaster. Good judgement goes a long way.
9
Oh this brings back so many delightful and growth moments when my family sailed with our two daughters of the same age. Ultimately there is no such thing as safe, just awareness of place and self.
It's strange, reading this lovely piece has taken me back to my families adventures and joy of being upon the water... and now I feel both relaxed and joyous that I/We have lived a part of life that many only dream of.
12
I cried with joy for you and your family as you shared your exquisite trip with your children. I am no sailor, but had the joy of owning a boat at one chapter of my life.
Reading your story encourages me to find a way to save for another boat.
Thank you for helping me see your wonderful voyage. Your great parents, and you are pretty expert at sailing. Crossing the street in Long Beach Ca with young ones is more dangerous sometimes.
I remember when my children were young and I was starting out after a divorce, we played "let's get under the tables " when there were shootings in my neighborhood. Your children are safe and so fortunate.
7
Beautifully written. I hope someday to read the words of your children retelling the incredible experiences their adventurous parents bestowed upon them.
8
These very capable parents were not setting out from Alaska to Hawaii in a 30 foot boat. The Inside Passage is well mapped, somewhat sheltered, and there are settlements within a few hours reach. Lots of boat traffic as well. Small children are actually good company if you love them and if they are discouraged from pointless whining. They had on life jackets and the boat had good netting. I'm presuming that they were well locked in ( child proof locks ) at night while the parents slept-and furthermore generally someone will be on watch while underway. It sounds wonderful and whether they will
" remember " is not the point. They will remember always a life of love, warmth, connection with family and the natural world and security. I let my children ride horses at age 5 and scuba dive at age 10. I had a free range Texas childhood. Nothing so wonderful as this trip ever happened but it still has benefits. My family was in a big Texas hurricane when I was small. There was water up to the front porch and in the back yard; the fence blew down and the lights went out. What I recall is that it felt like a grand family adventure and feeling quite safe in the darkened house and the wind and rain lashing for days. The entire neighborhood came out to admire the eye passing over. Childhood is dull and very constrained for many these days.
18
Very amazing article and very interesting comments in which many consider offshore sailing with kids unsafe. As far as the data shows, the number of casualties in sailing draft in the US in 2017 according to Coast Guard stats is very low, not in the top 5 and less than 166 (pontoon boats). Of course without knowing how much time is spent aboard each craft it's hard to determine the accident rate. It may well be that spending time onboard is safer than riding around in a SUV going to soccer practice, ballet lessons, etc. The narrative that offshore sailing with young children is horribly dangerous is not supported by the statistics.
6
Imagine the state of humanity if some people didn't take risks! Kudos to the sailors of the 15th century and the astronauts of the 20th. And to the families who headed west in covered wagons 150 years ago who were probably excoriated by the same sort of people who condemn these parents today.
The journey that is life is not measured in years, but rather in the richness of experience. These parents and their children will be better off for their shared adventure than the timid who never venture beyond the realm of safety and certainty.
I'll bet that these two boys will be far better prepared for the uncertainties of life than their more cosseted contemporaries. This used to be called the American spirit. How we've changed.
14
Years later it will be the experiences shown in the photos that will be recalled, the wonderful, unique moments. But I expect they have many adventures for their family ahead.
6
This from sailor Sterling Hayden, in defense of ocean voyaging: "[W]e are brainwashed by our economic system util we end up in a tomb beneath a pyramid of time payments, mortgages, preposterous gadgetry, playthings that divert our attention from the sheer idiocy of the charade . . ." 1963
That lifestyle poses a danger to one's soul. Ocean sailing poses a danger only to one's life.
I applaud the parents for choosing to make the voyage. Yes, they exposed their young children to not unreasonable physical risk. But I do wonder about parents who buy their children their first smartphones.
18
@Charles Tiege
Sterling Hayden was of course also preoccupied with the protection of our "precious bodily fluids."
Seems a safe harbor for kids. No measles, no fentanol, no bullies.
13
There are many comments here about the selfishness of the author, how dangerous this is, and how this is a story of the rich playing on their boats at the expense of their kids' safety. While I agree that this endeavor carries inherent (and significant) risks, and what I am about to say doesn't shelter this family from the perils of nature, I do think it is at least worth mentioning that the author and her husband have experience at these endeavors.
Ms. Van Hemert is a life-long Alaskan who works for the USGS in Alaska and holds a PhD in Wildlife biology. She and her husband (according to her book's description) did a 4,000-mile human-powered expedition from the Pacific rainforest to the Arctic coast. And, according to her article, between them they had 20 years of sailing experience and had done this particular trip twice before undertaking it with their children.
Again, I am not saying that means it was not dangerous. I am just saying that the derision in the comments seems to presume (or at least portray) a story of some rich folks doing something careless and stupid and I just don't think that is true.
58
@Lorin I agree. My initial apprehension led me to immediately search the photo showing the kids in the bow were properly secured with vests, tethers and netting rigged from the bowsprit aft along the gunwales. From that and reading the report, the parents seem very competent to have planned and conducted this adventure, albeit with a far greater energy reserve than I've ever mustered. All day navigating a 32-foot sail boat over a complex course while keeping up with 2 kids aboard could only seem relaxing to those who can't accurately imagine it.
The big reward will be the great little sailors they are raising. At their ages they are acquiring muscle memory ("sea legs") that will soon have them scampering over heaving decks and through the rigging like monkeys. Then hands on at the helm will begin instilling the elements of seamanship that are the makings of a master. It's a glorious childhood.
7
Listen not to the nay-sayers who carry their 'precious cargo' in their suburban SUVs. I am so envious and if I had life to do over, would follow your path. No greater bonding or self-confidence can be had than being adventurers, together, in strange lands with ones' children. Bravo! You are an inspiration!!
36
I don't know why it always surprises me, but I am by the many reader comments from readers who didn't read all (Maybe just a little? Not a word beyond the headline?) of an article or didn't understand it. For example, several comments attacked Van Hemert as recklessly self-indulgent rich person, a categorization that has seldom, if ever, been applied to wildlife biologists. From actually reading the article, doing stuff like sailing and camping in Alaska and Canada is something she and her husband have been doing nearly all their lives (and her case at least professionally). That does require a more careful analysis of the actual risk.
Oh well, a rush to ill-informed judgment is something I've been know to do sometimes...
22
So many commenters are saying how dangerous your trip was, but most car accidents happen a mile from the home, and toddlers can drown in a bucket of water. All said, life everywhere can be dangerous, it’s just we don’t think getting in a car with the family to drive 3 hours to the lake cabin with the holiday crush of other travelers is dangerous, but it is, it’s just not nearly so scenic, and awe inspiring as sailing up the inland passage. Flying to grandma’s house? The plane could crash so better not because you’ll be called selfish! Also, if, as some say, you’re selfish for doing this, then going anywhere and doing anything but keeping your child wrapped up in bubble wrap is dangerous.
17
@SM These patents are not dilettantes. They are well training and experienced in this setting. I think of those parents who go to national parks and pose their children with wildlife. Or so many who with guns in their homes. Who truly are the foolish ones.
11
@SM this is so true. We have sailed with our kids, safely, since aged 10 days. A little potter out in the bay. We have not encountered any issues but boy have we attracted so much criticism! But every one of the people criticising us brought their kids in the car, walks along the roadside, on planes etc...... Which apparently is risk free!
6
To each his own regarding our life choices. The author’s writing is simply phenomenal, the words coming alive off the page. Wonderful! Thanks.
23
Messing around in boats is an experience about as close to walking on water as any of us will get to experience. There are few moments as welcome as when you cut the engine,the sails fill,and you head out to sea.
Not for the faint of heart or unprepared,but a once in a lifetime experience.
23
Been there, done that and have sailed the inside passage multiple times. For small children, the two best things going are a self inflating life vest and jacklines attached to the cabin or deck with a tether that clips to the kids safety harness from the back so they cannot undo it (neither of which are described in the article). Second, before we went on a trip with our kids, we lived aboard the boat in the marina to get the kids used to it. As to single handing or double handing in the inside passage, every one was planned daytime runs no longer than 10 hours so you would not get either tired or careless. It can be done as safely as possible.
13
Great story. Not-so-great comments.
The children won't remember? Do they need specific memories to make this a worthwhile trip? Why does every decision have to be about our children? Rest assured, having parents who give them quality time and adventurous experiences will make them brave, well-adjusted, and happy humans, regardless of what specific details they can recall. Kids may not remember the details of you helicoptering them as children, but they sure will recall how you made them feel. It will affect their personalities forever. And as for danger, I promise those children are more at risk in our public school system or being driven to school. I would far more fear the impact you have teaching children that the world is scary and dangerous.
Cost? Guess what: they have different priorities. Instead of new cars, the latest $1000 tech gadgets, or an obnoxiously large home, they are putting time and money into something that is important to them. You'd be surprised how wonderfully simply you can live like this.
It is difficult to be different. Fortunately there is a supportive community of fellow cruising sailor families who know that this is a life worth living. They are competent sailors who have calculated risk vs reward. Just because you don't understand it, doesn't make it wrong. I don't judge your life because it's boring, predictable, unfulfilling, or too safe (maybe I should), so why judge those who want to make the most of their limited time on the planet?
33
My parents were adventurers with us in tow. At times it was wonderful. At times I felt like this wasn't how I wanted to die/not what I wanted to be doing but I had no choice. I love the concept but as with all things, the reality is complicated. Glad it all worked out for this family and hope their sons remember it as a wonderful experience.
10
Beautiful.
11
Sounds great. Wish we had the money to be “adventurers.”
3
Thanks for the excellent read but I’m appalled by your selfishness. You and your husband clearly enjoy the water but your toddlers had no say in the matter. You spelled out all the dangers of the Inside Passage for experienced adult sailors. Now what about distracted parents of rambunctious toddlers?
I recall the story of parents who wanted their 8 yo girl to be brave and adventurous and so they took her on a round the world trip where the girl actually piloted the plane. The girl and father died when she made a mistake during take off. The mother defended the decision to let her fly— they didn’t want her to be a coward. Pity the poor daughter whose parents lacked common sense and the ability to weigh risk vs. reward. You can’t feel brave and adventurous when you’re dead.
So seafaring parents, spin that chamber a few more times and tell us about when you risked your kids life for your personal adventure.
16
I’m sure you always consult your toddlers where to go on vacation. Life lessons are learned from birth. Why would you wait until they’re older to desire sharing and teaching the wonders of the earth with them?
11
Yes, much better to live within the confines of Palo Alto and focus on buying your kid's way into university.
3
You only need give your children 6 years where you put them first. Then you can go back to selfish ways part time.
This could have ended very badly and involved some bailout by rescue services or a drowning. Most people would find it too worrying. Nothing to be proud about not being worried.
12
Jane Goodall.
1
In our newish "do-not-let-them-fall-one-foot" hovering mentality, you will be highly criticized, even more so because you are a mother. Ignore it all. You are tough as iron nails and have accomplished something as a family which required flexibility, dogged tenacity, trust in one another and yourself, and courage.
Your children will have an education which exceeds that of 99% of their peers and they will learn perseverance, skill, love of nature, to value quiet (eventually), and deep respect for your daringness. (They may be the last to see some of the wild you are sharing.)
What a strong, powerful role-model mother you are!
40
Sure seems like a family trying too hard to capture a romanticized idea of instagram-able lifestyle.
Wonder who pays the tab when Junior falls in, catches hypothermia because you know, he's 2, and needs a helicopter evac.
14
Great trip and adventure...
I’m familiar with Inside passage very well— it’s my stomping ocean grounds— however, a 2 and a 4 year old on such a cramped sailing vessel, ah! I’m sure you managed them well.
But children these ages are absolutely not aware of how to avoid danger and may not listen at times.
That was a huge risk.... just imagine if something bad had happened... then what? You’re out in the middle of the ocean- there aren’t many options are there?
And I fear they wont remember much.
I commend your courage but am afraid it was foolhardy as well.
.
24
Having had near-death sailing experiences in much safer conditions, I must ask: are these parents CRAZY?
18
Maybe better sailors
12
The story would be more interesting if they were asylum seekers or something. Otherwise, cool, rich people at play.
9
@Suzy From the look of their boat, that is not a rich person's boat.
4
The article is terrific, but the number of commenters who live lives of fear and rationalize it is heartbreaking.
27
Sorry, but to me this piece a variation on a very classic theme "Look how cool me and my wonderful life partner are". Mrs and Mrs Van Hemert define themselves as "adventurers", which is, in fact, glorified tourism. Now they had to reconcile their need to have (I quote) "the thrill that comes when we push beyond our comfort zones" with their having to raise children. Problem Solved : heighten the risk of a tragic mishap so that they could satisfy their need to "go places".
I get the idea that keeping yourself happy and sane might be the first step of being a good parent, but to do you have to brag about the fact that implies more risk for your children ?
The real title of this piece should have been:
"we couldn't stop doing what we like do, even for our children's sake but, hey, look they are OK !"
From an educational standpoint a boat trip is pointless for such young children. Whatever "experiences" they had, could have been provided by a long stay in a house deep in the countryside or a log cabin in a deep forest.
With older children (say 8 or 10) it's a completely different thing : I am sure it can be a great experience, fostering a sense of responsabilty, stronger family bonds, a sense of the vastness and beauty of the world..
But, hey, that has become - if not commonplace - let's say not unusual.
The only reason reason this piece appears on a major newspapers and not in an obscure blog, is the age of the children involved.
All this reeks of self gratification....
26
Some things seem risky but aren’t, like an airline trip or a nighttime stroll through Central Park. Others seem safe but aren’t and ocean sailing on small boats is one of those. Adventures happen when faced with the unexpected and good adventures happen when properly prepared and the unexpected doesn’t go too far.
Here in the Rockies, every year people climb our fourteeners with light jackets and shorts. On the west coast I’ve seen solo sailors sail complete wrecks in extremely dangerous coastal waters and manage to come back with stirring tales of adversity championed.
In my SF Bay Area marina we have Latitude 38, a newsletter which often chronicles the misadventures of careless, stupid or just unlucky west coast maritime adventurers such as the young family making a passage through Micronesia in their catamaran. They tuck the kids in, set the autopilot and turn in only to wake up to waist deep water on an uncharted reef in heavy surf. Dad loses his leg but somehow they survive grounding miles from shore. It’s an adventure the kids get to share.
Caroline and family survived their adventure with memories to cherish.
But you’ve got to wonder what mysterious adventure may have led to the occasional severed foot being washed ashore on west coast beaches.
10
I’ve sailed over 60,000 open ocean miles in the last 30 years. My husband and I crossed the Pacific to Australia and back in a 39 ft 1972 sail boat. Along the way went met many families with kids ranging in age from babes in arms to nearly adults.
This is a great experience and learning opportunity for all these people.
Driving across town is more dangerous than sailing in the ocean or up and down the inside passage to Alaska, where we also met families doing the same thing, which we did for 12 years in a heavy duty steel trawler.
We still have boats, we now spend our summers on an off the grid and probably “unsafe” island where there are lots of kids who think they’ve gone to heaven playing with boats, fishing and generally learning how to be creative, responsible, self sufficient adults.
To all the nay sayers who don’t or can’t leave their barco loungers, I am sorry for you.
But I’m glad you aren’t out on the water making life miserable for the rest of us constantly complaining.
Hooray for the parents who provide wonderful life experiences for their children.
32
I live in Southeast Alaska, on Baranof Island, and I've travelled the Inside Passage several times on fishing boats to and from Seattle. It's cool to see a nice story about the trip and a photo of the island I live on in the NYT.
14
Yet another example of natural selection at work in the modern world. I'm going to go out on a limb and say the children probably haven't been vaccinated and the entire family is without insurance. I feel sorry for any child whose parents value their safety so little as to put them in mortal danger for no good reason.
4
@KCF I'm going to guess that having a PhD in Biology - all of the people involved - mother, father, children, were vaccinated fully according the the AMA recommendations. I'm also going to guess that being federal employees, they have federal Premera Blue Cross/Blue Shield. And - they survived AND reproduced so natural selection is working here. I wonder if you read the article and comprehended it. Or do you just enjoy throwing out unfounded derogatory suppositions that have nothing to do with the subject?
12
I knew there would be nay-sayers and vehement critics as soon as I saw this headline. Actually, I'm pleased at their relative rarity.
My wife and I lived aboard and slaved to maintain a bigger boat, a 46-foot yawl, for four summers and winters in Connecticut. They were the best four years of our lives. After our son was born we continued to live aboard, summer and winter, for about 15 months. That summer's cruising was the best, albeit with crew to assist. We reluctantly moved ashore only after our very active little son refused to be restrained by the confines of the boat.
All this to say I have nothing but admiration for those who acquire the skills and the mind-set to take their kids cruising in remote waters. Only wish we could have done more.
14
Clear evidence of contraception failure as some people might remain childless and harmless. Or, it seems, a new set of evidence that parents can think of things worse than no vaccinations. Maybe, training daredevils looking for an Evil Knievel meal ticket or developing young outdoor wear models for the same reason. However, the world needs to save these two kids by having a go fund me campaign to get you a much bigger sail boat, roll bars on the family jeep and an insurance policy for risky parenting. A 32 footer is too small and cramped to contain the imaginations of four children.
4
The ocean, inland passage or not, is a terribly unforgiving place for young children. Even experienced adult sailors can get into trouble while underway.
Just be honest about the risks for yourself and your children. You have to treat sailing with an unlimited amount of respect. I'm just not so sure that children that young are ready for the things you have them doing. Perhaps when they are a few years older?
9
To call those waters "treacherous" is a major exaggeration. The route is mostly sheltered. Wind, waves, and particularly tides can be a problem, but not if you pay attention to the abundance of weather info.
No pirates either.
7
First, Caroline is an amazing writer. As I was reading I was thinking she must be a top professional, although cognizant most in that bailiwick couldn't afford such an extravagant foray. There is no question about the benefits of the special trip being invaluable to all involved. One is spectacularly envious, both as a parent and former child. I have never been one accused of being faint of heart. I used to argue with my ex vociferously about the danger of not fostering independence in our nine-year-old. Her favorite catch-word was inappropriate. However, I do now shudder to ask, was such an adventure age appropriate for toddlers?
2
The objective of parenthood is to raise up your children such that they have visions of a hopeful future. And along with this is to be the creator of memories they will recall and cherish as adults. In both aspects I'd say these parents are well engaged in meeting those objectives. So well done. Now go continue on your seeking. The children are young, and many adventures still await!
John~
American Net'Zen
9
The author didn’t do the article or herself any favors by referring to hurricane-force winds, dangerous currents and numerous drownings, which I suppose she thought would make the article and the adventure seem more exciting to east coast NYTimes readers. I’ve traveled the same route, single-handed, in my 35-foot sailboat. Almost the entire passage is in well protected inland water. Weather forecasts and accurate tide/current predictions are readily and easily accessible. Coast Guard and other vessels are easily hailed on VHF radio. Summertime weather is usually pretty benign. Their 32-foot boat would be easily handled by one person, so there would always be someone to keep a close eye on the kids. My parents began taking me on their boat when I was too young to remember. But they took me every year and as I grew older I developed a love of boating that has stayed with me. This article may seem odd and frightening to many NYTimes readers but such stories are quite common in the various magazines targeted at sailors.
15
In the 1970s, I and a friend with her 3-year old paddled a canoe to an island in that area where they lived in a teepee. The tide was going out, the waves increasing; I think it might have been winter. We paddled with all our strength, as independent women did everything in those days to survive.
Not until years later when I had daughters of my own did I realize how close we came to never being seen or heard from again.
11
I just watched a an excellent miniseries on French TV on the French-German channel ARTE. The series is called Eden and it traces the stories of refugees arriving on beaches in Greece, and their lives - Nigerian brothers on the run through refugee centers, Syrians in Germany and Paris, and the for-profit refugee center operations. I read this article just after because the title made me think of was about refugee boats with children. It’s all about perspective.
1
Wow...great story! As an East Coast girl totally in love with the Pacific Northwest, I could almost feel all described as I sit on my couch in New Jersey. Lucky children. My first sailing adventures were a bit South of your location. Ah the joy of spotting hundreds of dolphins swimming around us. A momma whale and her baby surfaced off the side of our sailboat as we crossed back from Catalina Island to L.A.
After a long hike to a remote beach on the Olympic Peninsula, I saw my first bald eagles high in the trees, talking to one another.
Walking along the beach, I suddenly heard that sound behind me. One if the eagles landed not 5 feet behind me. This was definitely an oh my God moment indelibly written in my memories.
Nothing is better, no church, cuisine, tour is better than nature.
12
What a wonderful first adventure for brothers and parents. I can picture them snug and secure in their little cave (the V Birth) learning to play and bonding as they learn the rhythm of the boat and the nature around them. Lifeline netting on warm days and gentle seas let the boys experience natures beauty under the watchful eyes of their mother and father. Experiences not seared into their memory but their soul.
My kids were not that young when they experienced their first sailing cruise. The boat was a little bigger, the water was a little warmer and their were two extra pairs of adult hands but the laughter and joy of our family time are still seared in my mind.
I am sure many more adventures await them some of which will be lifetime memories in their own hearts and minds.
Fair winds!
9
This article is extremely well written. Hopefully when the kids get bigger they will grow to love sailing even more and become that welcome extra pair of hands needed on such a large boat.
Many years ago I crewed on a sailboat called a Dragon for several years. It's a 29 feet 2 inch keel boat built for the North Sea. This boat is only three feet longer. So even if space is cramped, a sailboat can be a real handful even under ideal conditions, but what an adventure. There is nothing like sailing to help a person feel incredibly relaxed after a day on the water.
In this modern day and age of laptops, cell phones, 50 inch color tv's and all kinds of other nonsensical but sometimes necessary electronic gadgets, sailing is a welcome activity to get away from the hassle of modern civilization. The lone
exceptions are the GPS for navigation, and radios and satellite cell phones for communication during an emergency.
Sailing is a great family activity. The two boys are lucky to have such parents willing to take them on such a wonderful adventure.
Again, thanks for a very well written article and and a wonderful insight into such a great adventure.
10
What a fabulous adventure! I hope the kids remember it.
My sons were the same age as the kids in this story when my father died. They adored him, he adored them. I filmed many visits. Yet, three years later, they are sad they cannot remember him. The pictures and videos are a poor substitution.
Personally, I would have waited for such an arduous adventure. One, so that the kids had more boat experience and were capably independent. Two, so that everyone had a chance on remembering the trip.
19
@historyRepeated, I wish they can repeat the adventure together many times!
@historyRepeated, I totally agree with that last bit. In fact, I tried to post a similar thought (apparently binned?).
People are asking how young kids react to small boat sailing. Here's a video of my kids (ages 6 and 12) in conditions that were rough for our 25' boat. The passage was about 90 minutes and we ended up in a sheltered harbor.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODWsdmd_FGg
3
@Mike Marks, there is an enormous difference between kids aged and 12, and babies of just “almost 2” and 4 years.
6
@Passion for Peaches
And there's a big difference between a 25' and 31' sailboat too. When my younger daughter was 4 we made a longer and equally rough passage - she swung from the hatch in the companionway like a monkey... until she turned green from being seasick. Then, at night, as we swung at anchor in a 20 kt wind and heavy wet fog, she bedded down cozy with her sister in the forward cabin as I read a bedtime story.
The next day we sailed to Martha's Vineyard in perfectly calm weather and bright sun. Even my wife liked it!
@Passion for Peaches
And there's a big difference between a 25' and 31' sailboat too. When my younger daughter was 4 we made a longer and equally passage - she swung from the hatch in the companionway like a monkey... until she turned green from being seasick. Then, at night, as we swung at anchor in a 20' wind and heavy wet fog, she bedded down cozy with her sister in the forward cabin as I read a bedtime story.
The next day we sailed to Martha's Vineyard in perfectly calm weather and bright sun. Even my wife liked it!
Thank you for this gorgeous piece of writing and such a beautiful story of adventure and family. It made my day.
13
What a wonderful adventure and education for these kids. I hope the parents repeat this again when their children are able to help crew the boat. It sure beats computer games.
7
If everyone did everything exactly as everyone else, or better said, exactly as everyone says they should, how boring we would all be. This is great stuff from explorer adventurer parents-extremely lucky kids! What open minded different, sensitive, earth aware adults they will become.
15
It sounds wonderful.I wish my parents did it for me.The story reminds me of the wonderful movie 101 DAlmatians .After seeing that movie parents ran out bought Dalmatian puppies for their toddlers.It was a disaster.Dalmatians need an experienced master.I hope people now will not be inspired by this great story to run out and sail with their toddlers in the unpredictable oceans before they really know what they are doing.
9
I sail fairly frequently. When my children were pre-teens we sailed, but they were bored and now they hate it. Unless you have a very large, luxuriant yacht, boats are small, cramped and you can’t walk around a lot. Kids have a hard time sitting still for long periods of time. Would I take a younger child on a sailboat for any length of time? No, too much can happen. With only two adults handling the boat, in an emergency, there may not be an extra hand to hold onto a child, or possibly get them below and still handle split second decisions - and they do happen. I know parents take small children sailing all the time, and everything seems fine, but I have to wonder - are the children relegated to below decks most of the time? That doesn’t sound like much fun for them unless they’re toddlers and just don’t know any better.
25
@Barbara Snider I have to disagree with you there, as a sailor since I was born and now a mother of two sailing mad young children. My kids are happiest on the boat. Yes there is alot of planning and organising and indeed missed passages as the forecast wasn't perfect, which we would have gone on pre kids, but there is no boredom. They have rules like life jackets and harness when under way but the harness can be moved to wherever they want to be. From 2 years my son was interested in passage planning. My daughter watched the tides. They have specific toys kept only on the boat which fills any gaps on longer journeys. Like the story above one of us minds the kids the other sails the boat, that didn't happen over night. The boat had to be set up for single handed sailing.
11
@Sarah
I too watched some children of sailing friends grow up to dislike sailing. The problem seemed to be that the kids were immersed in a social and commercial universe ashore, perhaps to their detriment. Sailing was too slow and too demanding of one's own active engagement to appeal to kids who expected to be entertained.
5
Life is a risk. One drives a car, with kids on board, knowing that a drunk driver can cross the line and kill everyone. A parent puts a child on the back of a bicycle and goes for a ride..even with them both wearing a helmet death remains possible. We teach our kids to ski, surf, mountain bike. We live in cities where crime is a daily occurrence and stray bullets kill children in their homes. Here are two knowledgeable, thoughtful and experienced parents who wanted to share with their children the experience of a life on a boat. Memories are formed at the earliest of age.....allow this family the opportunity to savour life together without hearing criticism from everyone who lives in a glass house of their own making.
100
@Steve W
in actual fact, as a lifelong bicycle rider for errands as well as exercise, having had many dangerous experiences on my bike, i cringe and have to bite my tongue from ranting at well meaning young parents esp with their children slung low to the ground in those flimsy little carrier vehicles behind the bike. and to watch a young child of six or seven wobbllng along on the roadway with cars whizzing by, on his/her bike with no understanding of the rules of the road, her well meaning parent usually behind her on his/her bike,is almost more than i can stand. what planet are these people living on? the one where there is no danger and everyone is immortal?
3
Thanks to our father, my sisters and I grew up around the water- salt and fresh. He loved to take us boating, swimming, "boogie boarding," sailing and fishing on lakes and at sea. He also taught us horseback riding, and riding & driving various off-road vehicles on weekend family camping trips, and on longer travels throughout the United States.
We learned an appreciation for nature and wildlife. And somehow we managed to survive all these adventures, which encouraged our own adult adventures later in life. They also made us the envy of many friends with less adventurous parents, who- decades later- fondly recalled our father as "the fun dad" in our social groups who enjoyed bringing others along.
In other words: there are many enduring benefits to these outings- especially as articles and research journals warn us of many species of animals and habitat disappearing in our children's lifetimes.
Given the chance of never seeing some of these animals in their native environments: perhaps there is no better way to spend time with the next generation, and no greater urgency.
27
As a ex-Bellinghamster I applaud this family's gumption to make memories, despite certain risks and the naysayers' tut-tuts. My spouse recalls the time she and her brother were enjoying a rowboat adventure together at Cape Cod when her grandfather on shore noticed they were drifting out on the tide, and he rescued them. Life is an adventure, or at least it used to be before CGI, virtual reality and cell phones.
14
A wonderful tale! I envy the parents sharing their sense of awe with their kids.
24
It sounds like the boys spent a lot of time in the boat (ie, in the cabin). No iPads? No movies? Really?? Either way, that must have felt pretty cramped for too many hours for too many days just to get to see a bear here and there.
I wonder if they would have rather stayed in school with their peers (build social skills, god forbid) during the day and gone for long local hikes with their parents each weeknight and on the weekends. You know, the way most folks make adventures for their little ones without putting their kids’ lives in danger or relying on tax-payer funded coast guard rescues when wrong decisions are made.
But whatever, I hope the 2 instagram pics of the bears were worth the countless hours of in-boat-cabin monotony your boys endured. Only a shrink when they’re in their 30s — when they stop lying to you how wonderful the trip was —will tell. Luckily the coast guard won’t pay for those sessions.
18
@A Bell I wonder if A Bell has children. Hope for their sake he does not as he clearly has no concept of children.
67
@A Bell has no imagination, regardless of having children! The Ideal Peer contact for a 3year old IS is the security of his family, not other kids.
Anyway... kind of hard to beat an environment with stars, wildlife, sailing and regular meals. ... and no active shooter drills!
A Wonderful peek into an alternative way of raising a family. Thank you!
9
@A Bell Having sailed the oceans, Maine to Bermuda, San Francisco to Lahaina, all the islands of Hawaii except two, the coast of Australia, and traveled by car and planes the same areas countless times, with and without toddlers, I have to comment on your comment. You have not lived until you have done it.
6
See this article about what can go wrong when attempting these things with very, very young kids aboard:
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2014/04/09/the-perils-of-sailing-with-young-children/7473811/
The rescue of that family probably cost hundreds of thousands of dollars which we taxpayers, not the family, paid.
Sound great on paper...but things do happen.
40
@RLiss The story of a pair of extremely inexperienced sailors who quickly got in over their head while trying to cross an ocean is not quite the same as an experienced family sailing the inside passage.
4
@RLiss
Stay at home never go anywhere, "things do happen."
A risk free life is impossible, and trying to do it is no life at all.
What should these kids be doing? Oh, I know, getting 'active shooter' preparedness at kindy.
2
Good. Get those kids working.
6
So many of us grow up in too much safety, only to realize that we let our lives pass by without experiencing things that required a bit of risk. This family seems to have found a way to live life more fully than most of us can ever dream to. Thanks for sharing the story and photos.
23
I like to think of myself as pretty protective as a parent/adult. I wouldn't think twice about this adventure if I had any sailing experience.
The greatest risk these days to any American is death by auto. What if the authors had tossed the kids into an RV and drove across the country to national parks? Most people would think that was perfectly okay.
Growing up as a kid, I read The Dove which is the story of a 16 year old kid who sailed around the world by himself. It took him three years. Dad would fly ahead to the next port of call and wait for him.
I was so jealous. I kept thinking, must be nice to have a dad. Must be nice to have a cool dad. Must be nice to have a cool dad with enough money to buy a boat and let me pursue a dream.
24
A beautifully written story.
An incredible adventure for the boys. I suspect only one of many more to come.
And the photography is fantastic.
Ms. Van Hemert...You are very lucky to have such a wonderful family. Your boys are very lucky to have such a great pair of parents.
Your family is an inspiration.
32
Never sailing. Rather, my mom was a small aircraft pilot. We would fly cross-country with our basset hounds and my infant/toddler brother to visit family (when I was a toddler/child), in a Bonanza that would set me in an hours-long state of bone-deep nausea. While my brother is now a pilot as well, based on my too early, too often experiences flying inside a gnat of a plane, I can contribute a semblance of what a small child may feel while sailing (which I was introduced to sometime around 8): it would potentially feel as terrifying as many of the more vocally responsible parents suspect it to be.
13
This is a wonderful story!
Thank you!
5
Sweet story! I'm pursuing a similar bucket list - less the kids that unfortunately I don't have - solo sailing a 33ft sloop. Inside passage is certainly top of the list. Been there done that but on a giant cruise ship making the whales and other wildlife appear like little toy animals even through binoculars.
Dawson and Huxley will serve as eye witnesses to what an untrammeled natural world looked like as they describe it to future generations that will never have a chance to experience it they way you have. More children should get to experience the natural wonders as soon as the can before we truly destroy it all.
As to the critics of your travel with the kids - your kids are so much safer in your hands than in our current society, where 12 year olds need a baseball bat at school to fight for their lives.
26
a 32-foot sailing 'boat' costs upwards of $26,900.00 When I was 4, that sum would have bought us a nice house! Just saying... relativistic philosophy.
5
@OAJ, today that sum might buy you a small Ford or Chevy SUV, but probably not the top of the line model.
8
@OAJ
And how many Americans spend more than that for a car every few years?!
6
@OAJ back in 2012 or so I bought my sister a solid but filthy 2 bedroom house in Des Moines for slightly under $17K. I bought the empty lot next door for gardening on, for $500. I bought the double lot across the street, also empty, for $500, for gardening on.
Awesome! These kids will be better humans for it.
23
I grew up living with my parents on a small sailboat. I am grateful for every bit of the experience and wish I was able to give the same gift to my children. Those suggesting it is somehow unsafe or selfish to raise children on a boat have no idea what they are talking about.
45
Why is it ok to urinate into the water? Does the boat have no bathroom facilities?
4
@NOYB Oh good lord are you ever naive. And when you urinate into the toilet on a boat, where, prithee, do you think it goes?
31
@NOYB Fish do it all the time. (Fish can urinate? Who woulda thunk it?!)
13
Really? Where do you think all the fish, dolphins and whales go? Do you ever go in the ocean and look around? Not exactly bath water.
9
All parents make choices, some of them poor. I understand the impulse to take an adventure and I think that spirit can be very positive for children. But in a risk/reward equation this expeditions seems to err on the side of exposing toddlers to too much risk. It is important to separate what we do for ourselves, and for our children as extensions of ourselves, and what we do, actually do, for our children. A NYT journalist once wrote about how he had taken his son to North Korea on a work assignment and that after the Otto Warmbler arrest, realized that he had made a mistake exposing his son to his own macho ethos.
38
@Theresa
i waited until my son could actually remember the experiences before i purposely risked anything with him - perhaps i sound over cautious but what's the point with a child under two? it wasn't for the child to treasure and share always.
23
@kate
Agree! I was going to comment that they should have waited a few years so the kids would have memories of these experiences!
9
@MG Once a family does this, they will do it and other adventures more. Go when you have the opportunity! Waiting for kids to be older will most likely end in no trip at all- it isn’t about a one-shot picture book memory trip, it is a change of life and attitude.
2
What a fabulous adventure for the family. I enjoyed reading it! I am not surprised there are some negative comments. A few years ago there was a sailing family who ran into trouble at sea, called for help, and was promptly subjected to blistering attacks by people for endangering their children. Sailing is a way of life. It may seem more dangerous, but probably no more than getting into the car for one’s daily commute. I am glad there are families who bond and create memories this way.
27
A good story can evoke many different points of views - some not intended by the author. For me this story evokes adults engaged in self indulgence all the while putting young children at great risk. No one should willingly go on an "adventure" unless each member of the expedition can survive on their own.
44
@rd
On the other hand, in the adventure called life, none of us can survive on our own.
14
@rd
Well, then I suppose you are doing everything you can to ensure the legal
"overthrow" of the present president and his congressional enablers who are the supreme self-indulgent adults intent on putting all children at risk by virtue of their doing nothing to curb global warming as they do as much as they can to weaken protections of clean air and water.
14
@JKberg
We should protect the earth ,individuals and governments working together Obama did more harm by over regulating and making clean air a dirty word than Trump is doing.
Wonderful story; an envy for many I'm sure. Close friends or ours took their two young children on a sailboat from Boston to the Carribean and around for 15 months. Most of what the kids remember is missing their friends, and that they hated eating fish. Maybe these types of trips are more for the parents than young children. Youngsters seem capable of expanding their horizons no matter where they are.
17
Maybe the children will have a different perspective on the trip as they grow older. Hopefully they’ll remember the more positive moments over time.
8
As a Seattle native, I spent much time sailing with my father in the waters of Puget Sound, San Juan Islands, etc.
Yes, the waters north of Vancouver BC are some of the most magical on earth.
Alas, as global warming affects the world, the glaciers of Alaska not only melt, but become dingy and more dingy with dirt and ground rock embedded on what used to be white or blue white glaciers, which now are shrunken mightily.
13
@Jean - I live here in Seattle and am sooooooooo envious of you!! :)
I thought the article was wonderful and will want to read it again and again. And then I read the comments. How like our age they are, with almost everyone coming down strongly, angrily, on one side or the other, and refusing to see the trip from the perspective of both its beauty and its danger. Has our mode of social discourse been so corrupted that middle ground no longer exists, not in politics, not in leisure, not in anything? And with every person thinking their opinion is the only one to have?
63
@Hiram Jacob Look, we all wish we were rich enough to take 10 weeks off from work and spend it with our kids, but nearly all of us, including me, will NEVER experience that.
So yeah, it's kinda like reading a story from the Royal Family about how much fun their summer-long vacation was.
I married a sailor and my babies sailed before they walked. My children grew up on sailboats, Yes,they spent weeks of summer on a 32' sailboat, usually anchored somewhere at night with a dinghy as transportation to shore. They will tell you these were their best family memories. fishing off the boat, the stars at night, hours of board games, learning the wind and water, truly great family time. I never netted the boat and they learnt how to swim well and how to operate everything on the boat. Wonderful article, bravo to the parents!
86
It's fine that you wanted to earn some cash from your writing about your adventure and recounting how fantastic you are as parents. But a 2- and 4-year old are not likely to have remembered the trip, but you will remember how cramped and noisy it was and wonder why you didn't take them to the local tidepools to view sea anemones.
56
@Sharon
You'd be surprised at what these two youngsters will remember and serve as witnesses to future generations of what raw and beautiful nature from a sailboat is like. At least the author's life is spent living - living to the fullest with her kids - and no doubt memorable worth recounting and shared with others.
Do you live a memorable life - one worth sharing and writing about?
22
@Sharon My kids have been sailing since they were 2 years old. A sailboat has always been a part of their lives. Now 16 and 22, they still look forward to our annual 4th of July trip and will surely bring grand children when the time comes.
Tidepools are great. But it's even better to visit tide pools (or go clamming) and then have Dad and/or Mom read you a bedtime story in the forward berth as the boat rocks you to sleep.
Until you wake up to sunrise at a calm anchorage after a rough night you'll never know true happiness.
22
The feeling of being on a sailboat gets wired into your bones.
I don't remember the many trips I took with my parents as a very young child, but I know the feel of rocking to sleep while out on anchor and the sense of comfort from being battened down in a small cabin with family while the rain pelts down. To this day (although I am no sailor) my heart leaps with joy when I am out on the water.
My parents gave me a gift when they made my crib a sailboat.
19
Anyone who is the least bit skeptical of this voyage should read Caroline Van Hemert's memoir, "The Sun is a Compass," about the 4000 mile odyssey she and Pat took from Bellingham, Washington to Kotzebue, Alaska before they had kids. This little junket was "child's play" by comparison.
25
@Dave
Thanks, I just ordered this from my library.
2
@Dave:Those interested in sailing the Inside Passage should definitely read "Passage to Juneau", by Jonathan Raban.
I would hope that this article inspires parents to connect their children with the natural world in all its beauty and splendor. It doesn’t have to be to this extreme or expensive.
Nature is all around us and reveals itself in magical ways throughout the seasons.
Just recently in the pouring rain, I took my daughters on a “rain hike”. We were explorers where we lifted large rocks that revealed mole salamanders, termite colonies, camouflaged slugs, spring moss as the finest carpets, unidentified animal droppings and the list goes on.
Carpe diem!
76
I raised my kids on sailboats, and after retiring soloed across the Atlantic and back twice so far. Ireland and Portugal my favorites.
I never thought to share it outside of the family gatherings. There are many of us out there, and it’s mostly special to our loved ones. There are many with small children, especially French families. It is wonderful to see.
60
Thank you for an inspiring story! I am surprised to see a few critical comments. Your kids were safer on that boat, with no motorized vehicles, guns, or prescription drugs around than they were if they'd stayed home. Regardless--they are your kids, your family, and your life, and it sounds like a wonderful one. Keep on sailing!
114
Something of an Instagram moment, don't you think? That perverse desire to prove your life is extraordinary and wonderful compared to the average workaday grind. Even when the adventure is itself a grind.
I sail too. I understand the appeal. Nothing so epic as British Columbia. However, I have absolutely no desire to bring a 2-year old out on a voyage where a drop in the water probably means death before you can even come to wind. Single-handing a 32-footer on watch-on-watch duty doesn't sound like fun either.
I'm glad everyone survived. I'm glad you got your pictures. I'm glad Pat and Caroline got their adventure. Presumably at least one of them got paid for it as well.
I think parents need to appreciate the mundane more though. A 2-year old is going to be just as excited about snails in the backyard as a grizzly bear in the arctic circle. Neither experience, strictly speaking, is determinate anyway.
If you want to pass along your knowledge of sailing, I feel like there are better places to start. Have you tried building a knot board for instance? Small boats make more sense for children. Swimming is a good place to start no matter what.
Sometimes boring is okay. I like the outdoors too. I'd just as soon spend that time outside a constant state of anxiety. If you can provide that same luxury to your spouse, your marriage will be better off for it too.
258
@Andy
I do a lot of sailing myself and I couldn't agree more.
30
@Andy I can hardly imagine such a challenging trip with the two year old twins I had many years ago. Maybe it was because my husband and I were still working as lawyers (me about 1/3 time), but sleep deprivation would have prevented us from being competent sailors, much less parents. We did start traveling internationally when they were 5+ and experienced slews of health care systems in Ireland, England France, Mexico, various islands an elsewhere. But it was always launching unto the known, traveling with littles and lot of Rx we often needed. Mexico was the most predicable as long as we passed out Pepto's to all at they beginning of the day. Our now adult children seem to remember from 6+ on, aided by pictures and lots of family storytelling.
11
Some of my best memories as a kid are sailing on Long Island Sound with my parents and sister. Whether rain or sun, lazing about the bow or holding on astern as the waves rocked us, sailing was always an adventure. It brought us close together. We implicitly trusted our parents to keep us safe even when the seas scared us. The experience was a gift I hope I can repay my own children.
40
The benefits to these kids are unknown to those that have not done this type of thing. Why does everybody have to live on the straight and narrow and live a life that consists mostly of risk avoidance? I envy these kids.
33
With 200,000 plus miles sailing the world’s oceans over 50 years in a variety of sailing vessels I would never have considered taking young toddlers on blue water expeditions. That’s just selfish. Especially if emergency medical care is needed. More thoughtful parents would wait until the teen age years when they can fully participate. We did that with our son and he oft says they were the best times of his life. And ours.
One occasionally meets families with toddlers aboard in remote anchorages. Where they have access to land services if and when needed. But its rather unusual to meet families with young toddlers crossing oceans. Risking ones life for adventure is a personal commitment. But why risk the lives of toddlers ?
148
@Peter I Berman I've met many families sailing together safely and happily. A French couple with three-year old twins comes to mind: happy children, responsible (and happy) parents tying up side beside our boat in several ports. It's a wonderful life all around.
19
@Peter I Berman This is not blue water. They didn't cross an ocean. The inside passage is very well protected other than one small portion. Emergency services aren't far off for most portions of it.
20
Nobody is dying here. Nor are they at significantly greater risk than, sadly, when attending school, driving to the grocery store or navigating countless household hazards. True, the risk is not zero. But surely it is better to die living — truly living as this family is — than to reside safely under one’s bed. There is no surer cure for what ails so many of us (depression, drugs, alcohol, boredom) than to put yourself in a position to witness firsthand the awesome power and beauty of nature.
33
@Sunrise747
But do you have the right to put your children in risky situations? It is one thing to decide that for yourself as an adult, but another to make it for a toddler.
18
@Maryann H
Somehow I think these parents are especially good at what they do; that their boys were as safe as any.
Sending a child off to school is filled with risk. Then too, knees don't get scraped as much anymore. Padded play areas. Some "adults called parents" expose children to alcoholism, drugs and ugly negative parenting.
Parental rights include introducing their offspring to the wonders of life - and the world they live in - in a sailboat or a row boat, a plane, a train.
Note: Theodore Roosevelt's parents took their children across the Atlantic on an expedition throughout Europe and Asia. That was way before padded playgrounds.
5
Maryann: Why the long face? Those kids were safer with their parents on a boat in the ocean than any of millions of American children at school, with armed security guards.
So, do parents really have the right to make the “risky” decision to send their kids to school?
Your comments make you seem determined to rain on someone else’s great memories. Why?
10
Oddly, I am more afraid of bears living on an island that I am hiking than of what can happen on a sailboat. To each his (or her) own.
4
I grew up in a family obsessed with boating, an activity I considered utterly pointless. While Ms. Van Hemert writes quite well, as a parent she is putting two very young children in great peril. Does she believe that a two year old and a four year old would survive a fall into near-freezing water? Does she believe some Inside Passage magic will prevent her sons from falling from the boat? She let her child urinate off the boat; any boating officer or Coast Guardsman will tell you that many drownings occur when men find it "fun" to urinate off the side of the boat, then fall in. She also thought it great fun watching a grizzly bear poop; is she aware that grizzlies often wait quietly and unseen for prey to appear? Van Hemert mentions the vagaries of Alaskan weather, but seems blasé about the catastrophic possibility of their sailboat capsizing in a squall. A fever? A broken bone? A laceration? I guess they will try to call the Coast Guard and hope for the best. Next time, rent a cabin.
188
@Terry Boots Wow, you seem to think that all outdoor adventures end in death or injury. I disagree with your view of the risks, and suggestion that they should just stay at home. Imagine our ancestors crossing the plains. Rent a cabin? No way.
37
Just because you don’t like it, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
Humans are great at miscalculating risk. You are far more likely to be injured or killed by your morning commute.
I feel terribly sorry for your unlived life.
54
@Terry Boots
Next time don't judge, rent a cabin.
10
When my daughters were 4 and 10 we bought a 25' shoal draft sailboat with an inboard diesel motor for $7500. Each year I spend about 30 hours and $1500 maintaining it. The town mooring costs $100/year. The costs are affordable for most any middle class family that wants it.
And the small adventures we've had: Circumnavigating Cape Cod. Trips to Edgartown, Vineyard Haven, Menemsha, Cuttyhunk, Newport, Block Island, Nantucket, Provicetown and quiet spots too special to name.
We've had terrors and I've made mistakes. A small boat makes a 30kt wind terrifying. Standing 5' waves at Monomoy Point are... um... intetesting. Things are wet and tight and uncomfortable. But that makes a calm anchorage at sunset truly sweet.
Vanderbilt didn't enjoy a whiskey and cigar on his yacht any more than I do on mine.
38
@Mike Marks
I sailed back and forth from Yarmouth to Nantucket on a 22 footer with my then 89 year old father, and have also sailed around Monomoy point. Just keep reefing and enjoy the water in your face. There is nothing else like it.
20
When I was a child my parents took us many places, and I was a free range kid like few to none can be today. I cherish many of those memories. I also could have died untold times. These parents are crazy to be taking 2 and 4-year-old children on a boat like this. I'm sure they say how careful they are but this is inherently dangerous and any small accident could have fatal consequences. If these were anti-vaxers risking their kids, readers would be up in arms. Well, if the kids survive they'll have great memories.
94
The difference is that anti-vaxers put others at risk. These parents are, at the most, putting their own kids at risk, and it is a risk they seem to have the skills to manage.
16
@AR
Going to school these days is a risk. And anti-vaxers put others at risk, this couple put no one at risk but themselves. Stop judging.
10
@AR
Spent thirty years in the Coast Guard rescuing people offshore, many in sailboats....some in the waters this family sailed.
I can tell you that, based on this short read, this family was well prepared, has a well found boat with emergency equipment - see the picture, had experience sailing these waters, and respected weather and risk management.
Yes these people do sometimes get into trouble and having small children does bring a special set of challenges - but, in sum, these were NOT the kind of people we worried about.
68
"I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a ship and a star to steer her by;
And the wheel’s kick and the wind’s song and the white sail’s shaking,
And a grey mist on the sea’s face, and a grey dawn breaking."
- John Masefield
18
@John Henry
And all I ask is a TALL ship and a star to steer her by;
1
Many will criticize you and call you irresponsible, but what you are giving your kids is better than tucking them in to bed with iPads, lulling them to silence with TV, and never letting them go outside because you are afraid of strangers, ticks, or rabid animals.
172
@R
Maybe - not sure how many jobs in this competitive world will take "I lived on a boat" when I was 4 as applicable life experience though.
5
@R Example of Ms. Van Hemert and yours are both very extreme. If something tragically happened on this adventurous journey, she would not write this in the story, because she would have been widely criticized as irresponsible parent. They are just fortunate that nothing serious happened.
12
@Nick
A whole lot more than "I have 1,000 followers on Insta-whatever." That adventure - and the lessons it includes - is exactly the stuff of which Ivy-League college essays are made!
2
Lol. "This was the third time I’d sailed up the Inside Passage in a boat." As opposed to a teacup.
9
@Hugh MacDonald: As opposed to a ship, actually.
7
I am anxious from just looking at that photo. How can this be worth it? How easily a toddler can be gone.
59
@Maureen
They are safer on that boat than they are all strapped in and riding in the back seat on the southeast expressway.
18
@Maureen
Do you think a toddler is necessarily safer in a car, a backyard pool, or a playground?
As the expression goes, each to his own. I look at the photo and wish I could be on a boat sailing the Inside Passage, sea salt on my face, watching whales surface and grizzlies catch fish. What a way to feel really alive. But if you get anxious just from looking at the photo then this type of adventure is probably not for you. And there is always Disney World, for those who prefer something a bit less risky!
7
@Gerry
Many parents avoid highway driving with small children in the car. Pediatric emergency medicine is a 'Hail Mary'.
3
Great story! Thanks for sharing.
13
It must be nice to not work (living off of trust fund, inheritance, grants?) and sail for weeks with toddlers. People in the real world do that (not sailing), except in their apartments or homes and with the money they make.
23
All the sailors I know pay for their boats by working hard, saving their money and doing a lot of maintenance and building themselves. The families that live in sailboats like these seem rarely to be trust-funded. They just have different priorities.
61
@Ian
How true!
The author earns money writing.
5
In this age of entire families gazing down at their cell phones at the same time and not connecting to each other .... this story is so beautiful .....
103
Phenomenal .
Even better, your kids eat oatmeal.
Would love to follow your journey...
18
At least they won’t get measles!
30
Fabulous, you are very brave and obviously prepared well. Your family is fortunate to have had this adventure. Your boys will have learned much that will benefit them throughout life.
19
It is wonderful to read of life live fully and shared with abandon. Congratulations on indulging your free spirit and wishing you many more wonderful adventures.
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It's wonderful to hear from parents who are getting out there and having an adventure as a family - proving that it's both possible and rewarding to do something "extreme" with young kids in tow. I hear so often that your life and hobbies stop after having kids, but that seems like such an inherently negative perspective and it's wonderful to see that that doesn't have to be the case.
I'd also be curious to know whether the parents are both self-employed. How does a trip of that length work in that respect?
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I knew people who lived in their boats and eventually went on a sailing around the world sojourn with kids. They were middle class people who figured out that it was cheaper to live in their boats than rent/buy a house (this was in San Diego). They were frugal (no room to store the anything extra one might buy anyways). They saved and planned for the trip. The kids were homeschooled as they sailed. Marvelous if you think about it. Most parents try to start this when the kids are younger, but not too young. Teenagers desire peers more. Generally speaking anyways.
2
We just returned from a weeks voyage in the Alaska southeast inside passage on the M/V Columbia, the biggest ferry in the Alaska Marine Highway fleet. What a time we had! Beautiful Alaska! This article says it all! You are Brave souls with kids on a sailboat. Thank you for sharing your story!
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Thank you for sharing your amazing adventure. You are certainly braver and more confident than I would be.
13
You made me teary-eyed remembering adventures with my little ones, now 31 and 26 years old.
Savor your time, it’s gone before you ever realize it. It’s okay to be in the moment!
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Thanks for sharing and giving new parents hope that adventure travel can continue with kids!
20
As a parent of a 5 and 7 year old, I can't help feeling that this kind of adventure with a 2 and 4 year old is deeply irresponsible. Of course, many elements of the risk are borne only by the family and is not my business. But every now and then some of these free spirits need to rescued by expensive Coast Guard helicopters at taxpayer expense, and that's everyone's problem.
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The above comment captures quite well what is not quite right in our society. Adventure always contains an element of risk, humans have been doing it for thousands of years.
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@Paul ...but just think of the life experience these kids are getting. Nowadays, kids are overly-protected. It's all play dates and helmets and helicoptering and disclaimers and warning notices and kids being driven from Point A to B and getting no fresh air or interaction with other commuters who may look different from them, etc.
These kids' counterparts are more likely to be killed while sitting in the comfort of their parents' 'safe SUVs', than the kids in this fantastic adventure.
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@Paul
I guess every article like this needs it’s stick-in-the-mud killjoy.
Congrats
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Who can afford a boat and so many days on this type of adventure? Do the parents work as sailors? Who funded the trip? I am just curious.
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If you need to ask such a question then you missed the point of the adventure. From where I’m in my life, early seventies , I indeed ask myself how I could have a similar voyage that is doable at this point in my life. I loved this story about living.
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@Hillary
I'm happy see someone who has the money to spend take time off from making even more money and spend that time doing something truly wonderful. I can't afford to take that same trip, but I'm glad to see fellow humans do it.
26
@Hillary boats are very cheap after a hurricane
5
What an inspiring adventure. I love how you are living in the present as your children are, with all the wonder of nature as your playground. I don't know how you keep your head on straight, but you seem to just go with the flow!
36
Great story ! And, great writing !! What a fine, heart-felt Adventure, and, to experience all of that as a family ...? It just doesn't get any better than that. Well done.
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Sailing is quite a misnomer. . .motoring is more the fact.
There is really nothing to compare with the satisfaction of making such a trip, observing the natural unspoilt wilderness and comparing it with the commercial ports serving the cruise ships. It would be very helpful to humanity as a whole if all made such extended visits into wilderness. The experience build self reliance, brings deeper meaning to relationships (or shatters them) and always provides a first hand view of what we are slowly losing to human exacerbated climate change.
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@Jim
Go sailing in San Francisco Bay. Not much motoring required, but when the winds get up to 25 knots, you may wish you'd stayed home!
1
@Jim
Excuse me, but didn‘t You notice the sails in the photos.
Yes, motors might be ancillary power at times. But with my dad, we mainly skipped the motor, and used just sails.
2
@Jean - I've made the trip several times aboard my motorsailor (their boat is a Westsail 32. . .a stoutly built, but slow cruising boat requiring substantial wind and not well suited for close haul to weather). Excepting the open water passage from Hope Island crossing queen Charlotte Sound to Calvert Island, passages are narrow, winds is almost always on the 'nose' and more important, one must 'sail the tidal currents first' meaning, tidal currents of 5+ knots set the transit activity.
Auxiliary power in these waters is essential if one wishes to move along. (Do notice the caption on the photograph indicating "sailing in the San Juan Islands" .)
1
Pat and I are sailors. We are adventurers. We are also parents. It’s a dilemma we all must face: how to reconcile our many different identities into a life that feels true, and good, and, in the end, responsible.
You solved this dilemma beautifully. Congratulations! Very nice trip report. I am envious.
97
Thank you. This brings back memories. We set sail in May 1987 on a 40’ boat with our sons, then ages 6 and 9. Our first port was Atuona, on the island of Hiva Oa in French Polynesia. We continued as far west as Australia before turning back to return to the States. Most people do not cruise with toddlers on board, but it is possible. I wouldn’t trade our years afloat with the kids for anything. It was a different life, hard to explain to those who haven’t done it.
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That must have been an amazing trip! Maybe you have a travel essay to share?! (she asks hopefully)
Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. Keep it up (sailing and writing).
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