I didn't have facebook acct. ( or twitter or any social media ) until very recently and someone else set it up for me. But as a musician I kept hearing I was crazy not to have it. I actually lost gigs because I wasn't on it. I really don't like it, still don't understand how to use it, and always thought it was stupid. But now I guess I can promote shows and my new cd. But I feel as thought I am really late coming to it and wish I didn't have too. Still have to figure it out. Maybe I'll get sick of it and go back to emailing people about gigs.
37
I've never wanted to join Facebook for all of the reasons that people are finally, slowly waking up to. I'm only on LikedIn and barely use that. Social media is neither. It's become antisocial and it's rumors and gossip and total strangers in your world.
I have a great social life and, as a news junkie, I've always known the difference between real media versus propaganda; that's what we used to call "fake news". I pay to read the NY Times and the Washington Post, as well as other reputable American and foreign papers. It's worth it to stay informed and away from conspiracy theorists, Fox News [sic], anti-vaxers, flat-Earth'ists, racists, homophobes, and other people who don't matter to me.
I also use a good ad blocker. I got sick and tired, very early on, with the invasive distractions of being followed and forced to look at ads while reading via the internet. Each of us can control some aspects of our lives. Start by cutting out Facebook and Twitter and reclaim your life.
127
I deleted my Facebook account about 2 years ago, because I had joined a "give and get free stuff from your neighbors" group. Traffic to my account increased to a ridiculous extent, involving people I did not know or care to meet. My life has hardly changed with regard to real friends. We still get in touch with each other, just not on Facebook. What has really improved about my life is that I do not waste time keeping up on Facebook with social events that are just not important, and which one feels compelled to respond to. And the ads! Gone!!
30
I never had a FB account and feel no desire to check it out. My wife does have an account and uses it many times a day. I recently asked her this question: If we went on a terrific vacation and had a truly enjoyable time and you posted all kinds of photos about the vacation but got no likes or positive comments, would you consider the vacation a success? She hesitated awhile before answering, but conceded that she would question whether it was a good vacation.
I went for a walk in the woods shaking my head. She went back online.
112
Post-2016, I deactivated my FB account, when I decided having my head explode every morning as I read posts by my old high school friends was adding little quality to my life. A few months ago, I permanently deleted my account as more and ever more of their outrageous business practices came to light, piling up like ice slabs at a lake's edge at the end of winter.
This year, I've also stopped working for FB, which as a freelancer working their business meetings was a not-inconsiderable portion of my calendar. I no longer could morally justify being a cog in their machine. They lie and lie and lie until they get caught, then issue a mild mea culpa of "yes, we've made a few mistakes, but on balance, we think we're good", and then go right back to lying.
My withdrawal from accepting their bookings will not make a whit of difference to them; they will easily replace my position. But I will sleep better at night knowing that I'm no longer helping them.
159
I see many people have the same sentiment as I have on ditching Facebook: Once you leave it, you don't miss it. I ended my toxic, time-wasting relationship with Facebook a few months ago. Even before that, towards the end I was mainly using it to save things of interest to me by sharing only with myself. But it was still a time-waster.
I decided to use a different technique to end things and it seems to be driving Facebook crazy. I simply unfriended every single one of my friends. The insanity ended instantly. I no longer click on red-colored balloons showing me that someone liked a post or messaged me. I no longer get badgered by Facebook to send a message to someone having a birthday. I've notice on the rare occasions I visit my profile that Facebook has desperately up endless friend suggestions at the top of my profile, mostly strangers with no known personal connection. But they can no longer connect me to my "friends" or make political, racial or gender assumptions about what I like or don't like based on my friends.
Why not permanently delete? I did the download previously, but ultimately made the decision to keep years of informational posts and photos conveniently accessible to me for those rare occasions I want or need to retrieve them. After all, Facebook is saving my archived data whether I do or not. What's eating them is that they can no longer monetize and exploit me anymore because...I have no social network. Voila.
94
I stopped checking FB two months ago, when I was working toward a big deadline. Plus, a "friend" I had never met in person had initiated a Messenger conversation that qualified as stalking. I didn't/don't miss FB at all. My two very best friends aren't on it. No true friend complained about my exit. No artificial friend did, either. Who really cared? The bra advertisers, maybe.
45
Did everyone really have to wait to find out what some of us have suspected FB of doing right from the start? I have never had a FB account and those who thought I was a crazy outcast at the time are now asking me how I knew better?
58
FB was kinda fun in the beginning, catching up with HS classmates and browsing photos of their kids/families. I thought it would be a good efficient way to keep in touch... Then the SV meets WS capitalism on steroids reared its foot! Grow as fast as you can to cash out with an IPO...
As the Time article from January by one of Zuckerberg's mentors covered - the need to make cash as fast as possible refocused the well intentioned OG idea of connecting The World into maximizing profit at any cost. This turned FB into a democracy eating beast when Zuck and Sheryl sold out at the expense of our democracy... Voila Trump!
18
I deleted my Facebook account about the same time you did. It was simply an ecosystem I could not participate in any longer. I have not noticed a difference in ads, I deleted a rarely used Instagram at the same time, and Google hasn't ever seemed to target me very accurately. Search and Gmail touch so many parts of my life, and most users, that I believe it is harder to generalize. Today I'm looking for Key Lime Pie recipes, yesterday I had an email exchange about welding a broken tool. Like you, though, I do not miss facebook or messenger. No one is complaining they can't reach me and unlike you, I'm relying on phone messages only. It's working fine.
Read today's news. Delete Facebook. You've given them enough chances to get it right. They are not going to.
48
I grew up in an age of seeing people’s vacation photos when they came back from their trip and not having to provide content on a 24/7 basis. Didn’t it start as a way for Zuckerberg to meet women? It seems to be a bad trade off. They get my personal info for free and can monetize it, while I have to see not only people’s vacation photos but every mundane detail that they deem post worthy. FOMO? Missing out on what? Information wants to be free? Why are we dropping the price of it to that of misinformation?
14
I’ve never had Facebook or my space or instagram. I have plenty friends that do. But that’s just it. They are my friends, and we find a way to communicate everyday. They jab me now and then about something I missed, and occasionally I have a case of FOMO. On the whole, I’m glad I never signed up.
20
I think the author is a bit confused about tracking. Deleting his FB account has nothing to deal with it. Many companies that have no social network component are dropping tracking pixels everywhere. Check your cookies for a quantserve.com cookie as an example. What worked are the anti-tracking extensions he installed. What the social account does on top of it is adding personal data to your profile. Before social, your profile was a bunch of sites you had visited. After social, it's that plus posts, messages, a real name and phone number that can be joined with credit card data, friends of course with their profiles etc. Much, much much more powerful.
6
I stopped using Facebook a year ago, but left my account active for the rare occasions where I use Messenger. As what I can only imagine is a strange, desparate move to get me back, Messenger has been sending me texts encouraging me to celebrate "5 years of friendship!" with various people. So far, every one of these friends it has showed me has been someone I barely knew in college and don't have any particular desire to talk to now.
So yeah, thanks Facebook messenger for reminding me that quitting was for the best.
22
I deactivated my FB account at around the same time as the author. For me it was an ethical/moral decision in response to bad stuff the corporation does.
I didn't have strong links between FB/ads and spending, so I haven't noticed budget effects.
The biggest change for me has been a certain lightness born of being relieved of what turned out to be a fair amount of emotional labor on the app. "Going to the hospital with S, her arm may be broken, wish us luck!" "My husband's mother just died. The next few weeks will be horrendous!" "My in-laws are keeping my kids up so late they're falling asleep in school!" "J is having a rough go, please contribute money so we can send her candy / flowers / ice cream / alcohol!" Granted I was in some private groups that routinely lifted the veil on the FB-ready perfect existence. Sometimes I felt a little whiplashed by the difference between a friend's public FB page and what was disclosed in the private groups.
I felt compelled to respond with words of support, genuinely felt. I didn't realize what it was all taking out of me until I stopped. I used FB daily and expected to feel a loss, possibly for a long while. So I was surprised to find I don't miss it at all. People who want to be in my life find a way, just as they did before we all spent hours gabbing online.
36
I have been struggling with Facebook for months. The barrage of political posts and invective was too much. Then they added the invitation function which was awful! And the fundraising. Thanks for the article. I deactivated today
32
Implying that Mr. Chen was a woman might have been intentional on Instagram's part. This methodology is sometimes known as 'symbolic communication theater' when it is used for social or ideological control of an individual. Stated another way, sending feminine ads his way might be interpreted as taunting and bullying, for the purpose of inciting anger and depression. According to the article: "So after a few months of deleting the social network, I began seeing random ads pop up on sites like Instagram (which Facebook owns). Among them: promotions for women’s shaving products, purses and bathing suits."
If these activities are used in the Government sphere they could be recognized as psychological torture (brainwashing). An example seems to have been used by the Rwandan Government after they jailed William-Mitchell law professor Peter Erlinder in 2010. After his arrest they dressed him in a pink prison jumpsuit and engaged in intimidation activities such as shaving his head. Mr. Erlinder eventually attempted suicide in prison. According to Star Tribune Staff (15 JUN 2010): "Your honor, I lost all hope to live,' said Erlinder, who appeared in court clad in a pink jail smock and shorts and sporting a freshly-buzzed head and beard."
Cite:
Star Tribune Staff. Erlinder acknowledges suicide attempt in jail. Star Tribune, 15 JUN 2010. From: www.startribune.com (18 APR 2011)
6
I deleted Facebook (I prefer to call it by the posterior nomenclature) almost 10 years ago.
Yet it still lives.
I have asked ____book to delete my user data a number of times.
Yet it still lives.
We need a Right to Be Forgotten/Ignored law in the USA - or, perhaps, to delete ____book as a company.
45
I am starting the process to leave Facebook for the second time. The first time, I deleted the account, only to have my employer require Facebook accounts for disaster recovery staff, which I am one. I have the setting set as private as I can,but still get bombarded with those moronic friend requests. My news feed is gone, thanks to Facebook deleting the news feed.I have asked permission from my employer to kill off Facebook again, but they may require me to install Twitter, which I am not on...
9
What took you so long? I deleted mine after the first week of using it - about 5 years ago.
20
The problem with this is that FB has become the default -- in many cases, the only -- way that many events are announced. If you think you're not missing out, more power to you, but I'd have missed professional bowling tournaments I wanted to compete in, musical events I wanted to get involved with, and... well, almost everything I do outside of work. I hate the social-addictive "Zucked" dopamine-hit aspects and have combatted them by unfollowing all my friends (so they're still friends and can contact me, but I don't see anything in my feed) and following many of the instructions in "How to Break Up With Your Phone." But deleting it entirely? I don't see how you can do it these days, and not miss events -- because that's the only way they're announced.
14
@Urbie4 I like your compromise -- kill the newsfeed, keep the friends and as you can read in the article, what worked was not deleting his FB account, but using anti-tracking extensions. I still have my account (an empty placeholder to avoid impersonation) and nobody is tracking me.
4
@Urbie4
In the early days, people argued this point with me all of the time. But I have never been on FB and I assure you that I do not miss out on things. If I do, well then it wasn't that important. Trust me. You do not need this. Really.
25
Facebook has proven itself be an evil, cynical business monster that retails your personal information under the guise of "bringing people together." I imagine board and executive meetings being constantly interrupted by cackling.
Not to mention that Zuckerberg is obviously a cyborg, and a not very advanced model at that.
20
So did I. Goodbye. Hello books.
34
"I realized I was spending considerably less money on my usual guilty pleasure of buying clothing and cooking gadgets online because I was no longer seeing the relevant Facebook ads that egged me on to splurge."
Whoa.
...are you...
...*the guy* who's been actually buying stuff from online ads this whole time? I thought you were a myth.
22
I deleted Facebook and Twitter about 6 months ago, and will not be going back. I, too, have found my self reading more books. I feel better informed as I get my news regularly from a few reputable news and magazines like NY Times and the Economists--I don't feel overwhelmed with information glut that I experienced from social media. I have not seen a negative impact on my social life. If anything the opposite has happened, my social connections are now more enriched as I focus more on spending quality time with my family and close friends. I don't think I am alone in having these positive outcomes after going cold-turkey from Facebook and Twitter. Articles like these by Brian Chen --another good one is by Farhad Manjoo-- are only confirming that.
18
If you think that by keeping Instagram after you delete FB, you've "deleted" FB; you're only fooling yourself.
35
I also deleted my Facebook account plus turning Google ad personalization. In addition, I use Ghostery, an anti-tracking Chrome extension that blocks most trackers, including Google's DoubleClick and Analytics. Like Brian Chen, I'm now seeing ads in apps, including The New York Times, that are irrelevant, which is perfectly fine with me. (By the way, NYT, Ghostery shows 22 trackers on this webpage; do you really need that many tracking services?)
When browsing the Web on my Android phone, I use the Brave browser that blocks ads and trackers. But blocking trackers within mobile apps remains difficult if not impossible. That's probably why most privacy advocates, including DuckDuckGo and The Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF), recommend using as few mobile apps as possible.
Internet tracking practices by Facebook, Google, Amazon, and others are unacceptable in a free society and require action by Congress and Federal Agencies to limit what and how can be tracked on the Web. For a definitive analysis of how bad it is, I highly recommend Shoshana Zuboff's new book "The Age of Surveillance Capitalism."
11
I deleted Facebook. I recommend that everyone do so.
7
Ditto. I don't miss the pictures of dinner from people I went to high school with over 50 years ago. I also don't miss cute cat pictures. I sign on from time to time to get updates to a group of former co-workers. After yet another fiasco with passwords today, I'll be signing in even less.
4
I left Facebook about a year ago. Life has been better without it. Many of my Facebook 'friends' weren't real friends at all. I left them my email and some of them know how to use instant message, text me, or even call me. Rarely has anyone but my real friends ever done so. Now I live in a world that is more connected to me physically. I have real friends that I talk to, that I go out to dinner with, who participate in various groups I belong to and I'm content. Facebook is but a distant memory. It never satisfied me. If often agitated me. I connected me to people I hardly knew and ignored those I was most interested in hearing from. I had to deal with obnoxious trolls who came onto my sight because they were former classmates of mine 50 years ago. I hardly think about them now and I don't really care. Leaving Facebook is one of the best things I have done. I now have a real life again.
10
Classmates from 50 years ago -- argh - I hear you.
2
I can appreciate that some are better off without Facebook. My 15 or so friends are people I regularly meet with in person. The ads don't bother me -- I buy what I need and don't feel pressured by ads. As the years went by, I began to consider and then re-consider posting something. Even then I probably delete 1/3 of my posts within 12 hours, deciding it was either unwise or unnecessary. Mainly I participate in the groups on everything from guitars to homeschooling to finance and politics.
4
Facebook is largely responsible for the spread of Russian misinformation that elected Trump. Facebook is the go-to place fueling the anti-vaxxer movement. Facebook was the tool used for genocide in Myanmar. Facebook has allowed advertisers to discriminate against one's race, color, national origin, etc. Facebook made available the personal data of millions of people, though they perhaps didn't "sell" the data, so I guess it's OK. Facebook has created a world full of narcissists who think they are actually "friends" with thousands of people whom they have never met and believe that people really care about the minutiae of their lives. Facebook's mission is not to connect the world, it's to control the world. I didn't have to delete Facebook because I never joined.
Is the world a better place because of Facebook. The answer is a hard no.
Delete Facebook.
17
@IgCarr, I agree with every word of this.
@IgCarr I wholeheartedly agree. Never had Facebook
Sigh. I really miss phone books and the old Yellow Pages. Y'know? Where you could find people's residences and business addresses, phone numbers (of course). Drop into any city and within seconds you find a laundromat, a cleaner's near your hotel. Sometimes women used their first initials only, but we didn't seem crazed about our privacy. Sigh...
12
I got out of Facebook about 3 years ago, I'm loving it. So happy I did. I still keep in contact with my "real" friends, the ones that call to ask how I'm doing or the same I can call to have a chat about my life, ( the ones that don't asume I'm doing great just 'cause I posted a pic in some great location). I also found that ppl is more open to you when they don't have to keep a fake "Facebook" image in front of you. And I find it refreshing.
3
I recommend that people just look up how to shut off every Facebook feature and area possible, then keep the account to use to log in to other sites as necessary. Or, open an account under a pseudonym. It's interesting to me that anyone would be in a struggle relieving themselves of that tiring and rather poorly designed web site.
3
Similar to the author, I had a few hundred friends on Facebook and really only about 40 in my daily life. At first, I used Fluff Busting ( FB ) Purity to screen out all the nonsense. It's a great extension. I got to the point I just didn't even use FB so permanently deleted my account. No FOMO. I have Instagram and really enjoy that. Only my closest friends are followed. It's perfect as I just want a snapshot of what's going on in my friends' lives without all the garbage in FB.
3
I am 51
I never had Facebook, never will
I signed up for twitter, and tweeted once or twice, deleted
I don't Instagram, SnapChat, ect.
I do have a What'sup, and I intend to get rid of it.
I can be reached by email, phone call, or text[ preferred]
I don't need to see my friend's pictures
how many of pictures that I take with my own phone, I view more than once?.
I still spend inordinate amount of time online, like reading this article, and commenting on it!!
12
One important thing you missed to cut down your exposure to ads that are just too tempting for your pocketbook: Get an adblocker app. I got one for free from the Apple Store and now rarely see ANY ad, annoying, tempting, or not.
6
I am sooo glad about this article and comments.
Always having been (weekly to daily) in the Internet since 1989, as a student, as medical intern, as resident and as scientific consultant and lecturer - I was successful in career and hospital leading physician.
You know what - I never (!) used facebook.
With nothing lost.
Nothing missing.
Nope.
Try it!
BeSt regards Ruediger (Roger)
5
left fb ten years ago. Watching photos of people pretending to have great fun actually wasn't fun at all.
8
I have never been on facebook. When it started I warned my grown kids about it; they joined anyway; and everything I predicted has come true. (probably the only time I can truly say "Mother knows best"!)
Basically: I don't care if anyone "likes" my taste; I don't care what so-called trend leaders "like"; email and texting is just fine for keeping in touch. However, there is one drawback: Some organizations and companies assume everyone is on facebook and offer opportunities ONLY through facebook. But, hey, that's not a deal maker or breaker!
I use DuckDuckGo as my search engine. It is an outstanding locator, and it doesn't track me. This delivers me from Google--Yea! Being facebook-and-Google-free is a heady existence. Highly recommended.
5
Been 99% FB-free for about 15 months. I dropped out once I actually acknowledged that keeping up with my FB newsfeed had started to feel more like a chore than a guilty pleasure. Though I miss keeping up with the details for some people, I'm mainly missing out on stuff that made me mad; stuff that made me think a lot of people were stupid, shallow, boring, or pathetic; or stuff that otherwise added ZERO value to my life. The first year I was off, I read over 15,000 pages of books and finished a ton of projects around my house. It is also very liberating to break free of the need for "likes" and the validation that provides. I just don't care anymore to broadcast the details of my life, and when I occasionally get on it to read more about a notable event that I have found out about via other means, I find it very disturbing how many people seem to be truly addicted to trying to constantly impress their "audience" with their fabulous (and heavily curated) lives and the craving for validation.
3
Had delayed for years opening a Facebook account...I followed the rules did what Facebook asked...Then all of sudden I had friends, places I needed to visit and eat at...people who wrote to me as if we were life long buddies...that was in the space of 2-3 weeks...Closed my account
4
I didn't delete my account but deleted the app from my phone to reduce how much time I spent on the phone. I didn't miss it but was then instead spending too much time on the NYT app. Got a new phone that automatically came with the FB app and haven't deleted yet but plan to. and may also delete my NYT app. Being forced to go onto the website through internet really helps me at least.
3
Funny, I've never spent a cent via Facebook because I block all ads. I also choose what to see on my feed via a little app named FBP. My biggest time-waster? The New York Times.
5
We never trusted or opened a Facebook account, nor any of its subsidiary businesses. We stopped using Google 10 years ago, along with all its subsidiary businesses. We missed nothing, no social events, no professional contacts peeled off into another universe never to be seen again. We also weren't tracked or hacked.
One tip for Mr. Chin: Adblock Plus or Blur + Ghostery, if he insists on using all the FB and Google subsidiary toxins.
1
Why is deleting Facebook still a debate? The people who are on Facebook, currently, will never have the anti-FOMO gene and strength to realize they are being suckered and used to the tune of billions.
And the irony is this: the first argument for using Facebook is that "it helps keep in touch with friends and family" ... first defense ... while most people now have a hand-sized computer in their pocket that they could use to (a) call, (b) text, (c) Facetime, or (d) use a myriad of other ways to "stay in touch".
People's "real" argument for using Facebook is it acts as the painted portrait of a life that most people want: carefully curated photos; notifications of having fun at "x" event; and spying on other people's lives to make sure they're "keeping up" ... akin to the #1 reality show in America.
We need to accept the fact that we live a vain and shallow, celebrity driven culture.
8
I enjoy Facebook. I've set my settings to only good friends and sites I enjoy, and I regularly get rid of ads that are repetitive/annoying.
I can keep up with interesting topics and people and as someone who is chronically ill, it keeps me up with the rest of the world.
I don't like that they are tracking me, but then again, I don't really care about that.
9
I never used Facebook because I always felt Mark Zuckerberg had it backwards: that it fostered bad social habits like narcissism and hanging onto people well past their shelf life. I also disagreed with the definition of "friend." I had no regrets, nor did I suffer any ill effects. However, I bought Facebook stock for the same reasons: that a product that exploits human failings and weaknesses like Facebook was a sure winner. I was right: I made a big chunk of money on it.
Until January, when I sold it all. Facebook undermines American democracy; it gave us Donald Trump. In addition to keeping people in a childlike state, under the illusion that they never have to say goodbye and have more friends than they can count, the company is hypocritical at best and lazy at worst. It is stunning to watch Zuckerberg and Sandberg plead ignorance of the nonsecure aspects of the site and brush off the fiasco of Cambridge Analytica; their pleas for our trust are astonishing in their arrogance. Though they want to be seen as the brainiacs of a new generation, they have done nothing to show they are capable of policing themselves or cleaning up their act. They need public regulation and oversight. They are the communications platform into which Trump is already pouring millions for his 2020 campaign.
57
My mother said if you have two real friends who you can share your soul with them you are blessed. All during my teenage years she would state that phrase and she was absolutely right.
Few of us seem to understand the value of a true friend, we seem to think a friend is a disposable item, we also don’t value our time as if we will live forever and we can interact with loved ones next week.
A few years ago the NYT wrote a piece about a man who had three hundred friends on Facebook and they decided to meet at a bar in Manhattan. Everyone said they would be coming . Long story short no one showed up, the definition of friends should have a different concrete meaning for social media people because a real friend not a technology friend would of shown up because real friend is your best buddy no matter what.
Let’s live our lives and leave social media behind we might realize being part of the world is just as exhilarating as going to a play reading a good book and having a meaningful conversation.
17
I joined in - actually don't remember - maybe 2006? I quickly saw how it would become a time sink, viewing posts like 'We are having a perfect vacation in ...' and 'I just drank coffee'- it seemed to me a revolting mix of the 'everything is wonderful christmas letter' and 'what I am doing in my superfluous life matters'. But I have kept my FB account because it serves as an address book on steroids. I ignore it 99% of the time (and all the targeted advertising) and only log on when I need or want to contact someone.
7
Wondering how old the author is. I'm middle aged, and most of my friends don't routinely use the other messaging methods he talks about. I don't necessarily have current e-mail addresses for people I talk to regularly on FB, and it would be a real chore to gather them all. I rely pretty heavily on groups that are FB based, from neighborhood groups to support groups for particular issues in my family to professional groups. And I can't say I've ever been a big shopper for unnecessary items, FB or no.
9
Last year I considered abandoning Facebook as a result of its censorship and invasions of privacy, but did not. Early last month my 27-year-old daughter passed away suddenly. I used Facebook to disseminate this sad news, and then grieved quite publicly. I thought that Facebook functioned quite well for these purposes and was glad to have it available.
15
things on the internet have gotten so bad that i am almost in favor of shutting it down completely. however as a first and less drastic step everyone should delete their facebook account. i for one have never had one.
8
I certainly appreciate where you're coming from, but I suspect that you don't use Facebook for business purposes. I run a Facebook Group for my radio show and use Facebook Live to webcast a live feed from the station. Having Facebook Live is a necessity now. You can't ignore it. It helps to build audience, because you can broadcast immediately in your group or too your page and build your audience.
I don't know that I can delete my Facebook given that I also manage digital marketing for my clients and myself. I need to market in Facebook (amongst other networks), because that's where the audience is. Without this platform, it would be fare more difficult to market. You have to have a Facebook profile to build business pages and use Facebook Ads.
So, unfortunately, I can't take that step, but I can minimize my personal posts and ignore the news feed. Yes, more difficult to do if you are constantly getting notifications and reminders, but somehow I'll work that out.
5
My teenagers say Facebook is for old people (30 and above), they only use Instagram. Facebook takes too much patience for this generation. Maybe Facebook will just phase out, become outdated? I’m hopeful, there is way too much sharing of private information, as well as way too much nonsense on it.
12
I deleted my FB account well over a year ago - maybe closer to two years now? For me, there was nothing of value other than an occasional lost connection. Socially, it seems to me like a soap opera that barely moves forward. I think it was brilliantly designed to stagnate and collect social dust (information.)
12
Gave up last December. No social media at all now. Much more time and peace and reading. However, even after losing the urge to scroll, I STILL think to myself at least twice a day after seeing or hearing something interesting or funny, "Gotta post that..." Wonder when that will finally go away. Any thoughts?
4
@Elisa Winter Here's a single data point for you: I left in November. I think the last time I had a thought so great and original that I wanted to post it was about 3 weeks ago. I can only imagine the relief of my "friends" who saw me posting far more frequently!
3
I experienced lots of positive effects - from never signing up for Facebook.
43
I agree with at least one of the other comments below, you didn't give up social media, just FB. So you just chose one type of social media over the other. You can still use instagram to follow all your friends. So... I feel this piece about "Here's what has changed and what hasn't" is misleading.
3
I'm not deleting Facebook, but that doesn't mean I can't mess with their algorithms. I will search and click on ads outside of my demographic and interests; AARP, Fox News, baby gear etc. The relative sharing the annoying political post, I click it, and then click an opposing one. I get completely random ads, that have zero relevance to me for a time. When I start to see targeted ads again, I start the process over. It only takes a few minutes.
4
I left Facebook about a year ago. I too have only experienced positive results from leaving. Like the author, I had about 500 Facebook friends, but it doesn't take a genius to know that nobody actually has 500 friends - they were acquaintances. I'm still in touch with my real friends, and my social life is just as rich as before. Better, actually, because now I don't waste time on Facebook!
20
I deleted my Facebook account 5 months ago, and have no regrets. However, one thing frustrates me: my name and photo still shows up on Messenger, even though I have no login in ability or access to Messenger anymore. I have had multiple people tell me that they have sent me a message on Messenger- messages that are just going into the ether now that I don't have an account. The most frustrating part is that unless you use facebook, there's no way to send a message to facebook help to get this fixed! So even though Facebook apparently "deleted" all my data, my name and profile picture still exists on Messenger. I don't know how that can be possible if they truly deleted all my data. Just another example of the sneaky things going on with that company.
19
How is quitting Facebook but keeping Instagram (which, as was noted, is owned by Facebook) "quitting Facebook"? It seems like you've moved from one Facebook product to another, which would leave you still very much part of the ad network, tracking system, etc.?
68
@Jon Robertson Fair point. As someone who has done just that, I can say that for me, the decision to quit FB had nothing to do with the ads, tracking, etc. It had to do with reading an incredible amount of anger being shot back-and-forth by folks who (supposedly) are "friends". I tired of the noise so I shut it down. Instagram (at least based upon my limited ability to use it) is photos of grandkids, dogs, the beach, etc. No endless back-and-forth bickering.
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@Adam Kenny. Thank you -- makes a lot sense! (I would have bickered, but I'll save that for Facebook. :-) )
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@Jon Robertson Well-played, Sir!
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I quit Facebook the day Trump was elected and I read about how most people get their news from Facebook. I never liked it anyway and I never posted pictures of my kids, because I thought that could pose privacy problems at some point.
To those who worry about keeping in touch with friends around the world, just use WhatsApp, free texting and phone calls. It’s what everyone uses in the rest of the world.
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@Kara Good advice, however, for those of us concerned about the company's track record of dealing with privacy issues...WhatsApp is owned by Facebook.
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@Kara I have always disliked Facebook. I tried it and found it not very interesting. On the other hand, email is wonderful. I can decide to read or not read newspapers and other sources of information. In particular, I love being able to read the NY Times online. And I can access my bank account, order books and otherwise enjoy myself. My long dead father provided me with an excellent summation: "De gustibus non disputandem est." That translates to "There's no disputing taste."
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@Kara
WhatsApp, sure. If it’s good enough for Jared Kushner...
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the allure that brought these 'social networks' into existence has become somewhat over worked, as the premise of actual social purpose has become no more then a vector for business into your psyche. like others, we often mature in varying stages, at differing rates as our personal and private conditions become altered. deny change and most people become mere easy targets for the 'excitement' of the new and unusual. email and "gasp' actual voice contact for mere idle chat offers better and less interrupted flow of the basic human needs. simplify simplify simplify....
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Facebook provides different things for different people. I travel a lot and I have friends all over the world. I have reconnected with people on Facebook that I never would have in real life. I have put old upsets and regrets to rest after communicating with people from my past. I have met up with old friends on layovers while visiting their areas. I have received a thank you note in the mail after buying virtual Girl Scout cookies. Many people on my Facebook are people I really enjoyed working with, going to school with or met through other means, but in real life it is difficult to stay personally engaged with so many people. Most people are not interested in long distance friendships and Facebook fills that niche for me. I get to see people’s kids or travels or fun activities. I like what I get from Facebook.
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I deleted my FB account since 2010 (actually, FB only let me "deactivate", I could not fully delete until a few years ago) after the 2nd time they "defaulted" my privacy settings. When all the FB skeletons came out, I was not surprised. So I don't see pics of some old classmates or some distant cousins, who cares? My friends from overseas accommodated me by setting up chat groups with me. We still stay connected, go on trips together. I don't let my kids go on social media, just like I did not let them play video games. Read a book, go outside, ride a bike, mess with your siblings, play board games/go to movies with friends. There are enough Silicon Valley parents who want to raise kids just like we do that my kids (high school and middle school) don't have problems making friends. They having plenty of social activities without playing group vid games or stay on social media. RESIST.
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FB works well for me, but for two reasons. First, I live far away from many of my family members and close friends and FB let's me keep up with them and their families. I feel much more connected b/c I see what they are up to and see their kids growing up, etc. Second, I keep my FB friend list small, I am only FB friends with family and close friends, no random people from a prior job or folks that I went to high school with but I haven't spoken to in ages.
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I'm in my fifties. Candidly, for several years I had enjoyed using Facebook to reconnect with old high school classmates and old college friends as well as to kind of, sort of get back in touch with cousins scattered all over the US and beyond. Somewhere along the line, I not only did the FB thing, but Twitter as well.
On the morning of January 2nd, sitting in my kitchen early one morning doing some work before I headed to my office, I unplugged both of them. I'd grown weary of, well, the utterly anti-social nature of social media. I shut down my Facebook account and my Twitter account that day, although much like Mr. Chen I did keep my Instagram account.
For the first couple of weeks after I shut Facebook down, I received e-mails or text messages from people I know that had the feel of "wellness checks". Each was apparently worried that my departure from Facebook was a manifestation of some deeper problem. I thanked each for checking in and assured each that it was not. I pointed out to each that neither my cell phone number nor my e-mail (something that each of those who took the time to check in on me already had) has changed in a very, very long time. I reminded each of them that if needed, I am accessible via text message, phone call, or e-mail.
If Facebook or Twitter add something to your day-to-day, then I hope you continue to use it/them. Me? I do not miss either.
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Mr. Chen writes that he did not feel less connected and his social life didn't suffer after he left Facebook. I completely understand. In fact, I found that after I left Facebook I became more connected to the people who mattered to me. Also, my social life actually improved, because I was reaching out to them individually, and vice versa.
I found my tipping point with Facebook came the day I was scrolling through my Newsfeed and noticed at long last that it consisted of nothing but political rants, the "so-and-so is flying from X to Y" post, and cute dog photos, all by "friends" I hadn't seen in years, and all interspersed with annoying ads. I had several friends who used to post genuinely interesting things years ago (at least to me), but it seemed they had gone all gone silent. So, I visited their profiles and realized that, no, most of them were still there, and they had been posting all along. It was just that Facebook's algorithm had decided for me that I wasn't interested in seeing their posts. So, I ditched Facebook and started choosing for myself again.
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Dropped FB and Twitter several months ago. Those 'friends' weren't really friends. True friends call. Family keeps in touch other ways. Certainly don't miss all the Confederate flag messages, hateful talk, Russian 'friend' requests, etc. I am sleeping better. I cannot fix this crazy divisive society, so I dropped out. Life should be lived in peace. Best decision ever.
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I've managed and edited websites for a living and have never had a personal Facebook account, except for a few hours in 2007.
When FB first started, one of my web designers told me I needed to get an account. We were using an account to promote one of our websites, but I didn't understand what the purpose of a personal Facebook account could be.
When she told me she shared information about her life with people online, including family photos, I was horrified!
She kept pushing me to give it a try, so I caved in and signed up to see what it was all about. Within minutes, I had "friend" requests from real estate agents who I didn't know, but with whom I was distantly connected through a house sale a year before.
I quickly deleted the account. I have always been horrified by the concept of Facebook.
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Dropped it in 2011. Still have friends. Still do lots of fun things. Still get invited places. Usually, I forget it even exists. And I don't mind one single bit.
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Old guy here.
Once upon a time, I was a teenager. This was shortly after we discovered fire and the wheel. Going to a movie with friends required advance planning. There were no group texts or emails. There were these things called phones that were wired into the wall, but this only helped if your friend was at home. (In college, the phone was a pay phone down the hall; ask your parents or grandparents what a pay phone was.)
Somehow we survived.
Technology is wonderful. I wouldn’t want to give up my phone or the ability to text family and friends, but I can’t help but feel that we might be better off with less social media.
You don’t have to get off my lawn, but be careful not to step on the flowers.
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@James Williams This was the best thing I've read all day, I was definitely guffawing at my desk. Thank you!
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The article makes valid points, and mirrors my own reasoning for unplugging from Facebook several months ago. My online impulse spending is down and I waste less time staring at my phone.
But it’s odd that the author continues to use Instagram given it uses similar predatory advertising practices as Facebook and, as he notes, is owned by the same company.
Zuckerberg and crew have proven themselves unfit to handle personal data. Why continue to feed the beast?
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Once upon a time I could go to www.facebook.com on my phones web-browser, read news feeds, check events, and send messages to friends. When Facebook disabled phone-browser messaging and required the Messenger app, I was immediately suspicious of their motive. I never loaded the app, nor the FB app, so they have never been a source for notification-noise on my phone.
Every time there's another hearing about Facebook's privacy protections for their users, I wish someone would come out and ask Zuck this question point blank: "Is it true that Facebook's profit is inversely proportional to users privacy, and that Facebook will therefore always seek ways to reduce privacy?"
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@David Jonathan
@David Jonathan
I never use an app for a site I can access with a web browser because it’s obvious it’s only to capture, mine, and control my experience. If a company won’t let me access it via web browser, why bother?
It’s more mixed for the NYTimes apps. I loaded the app way back when but soon deleted it because it didn’t include commenting (that was a dumb oversight which I know is now fixed). Then I tried the crossword app which I LOVE but had to delete it when my phone got too full of pictures and videos. It may be the only one I reload once I clean out my phone.
I’m pretty much a browser-only person now with two ad-blockers and a twice-weekly habit of dumping cookies. It’s amazing what gets in. Every single time I find Facebook cookies even though I have no account and never visit the site. And I’ve disabled all other tracking functions on my iPhone except for maps, obviously. When your browser needs your location, like when looking for the nearest branch of a store, it will ask you to access location tracking for that session only but I rarely need it otherwise.
I’m now heading over to the author’s article on how to block cross-site tracking and I suggest others here do the same.
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FB Purity, an ad-blocker on my browser, very little tagging, & a liberal use of unfollowing, blocking, & restricted lists means that I have a way to keep up w/a worldwide network of friends that I simply wouldn't be able to otherwise minus the issues the columnist mentioned. The only time I've ever bought anything because of seeing it on FB are tickets to a favorite band that I follow, & I know better than to believe any news I see on FB w/o checking w/at least two other reputable sources. FB is a tool & tools can be used appropriately.
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To each his own. I have kids, and Facebook helps me to stay connected to the broader community of other moms of my kids' friends. I can also update them about what is going on with us, including occasionally a surgery or cast. This brings visitors to cheer up whatever child is ailing. There is no way to do this easily (from home) without a platform such as Facebook.
And as far as:"I can also tell you what I absolutely don’t miss about Facebook: the people who frequently posted online quizzes, political news stories or their thoughts about current events on the site," it is very easy to mute by unfollowing those people so you don't see their feeds!!
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@Karen H
You missed the entire point of this article. The author stayed in touch with the friends who mattered, not the 500 virtual ones. He offered data showing that email is just as effective at notifying enough real friends about their activities. Just cc or bcc whomever you want to have offer cheer to that ill child.
This ridiculous defense of farcebook based on the need to stay connected is a myth that says there just isn't any other way to communicate. How ever do you think moms born before cell phones stayed in touch? Two dixie cups and a string? Open the window and yell? OK, OK....my mom had a ranch bell she would ring when she wanted us back home but that was when kids actually played outdoors in the neighborhood.
Just admit its a lazy person's tool to blast out the most mundane bits of information in hopes of receiving addictive likes and the gained comfort of knowing someone is listening to you.
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@B Dawson you missed MY point entirely, which is people use the platform differently and for me it works. I do not have virtual friends. If I do, I can "trimm" them. The article is apparently written by a single male, and I have a different point of view. Why is that a problem??
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Supposedly, Henry Hudson, upon arriving on the island we know as Manhattan, duped the natives into selling it with what would now be $24 worth of trinkets.
I/we know better than the natives just mentioned. It's why I've never used Facebook and never will. I'm not interested in being one of their products, or being marketed to by their algorithms. I don't need their grossly-debased concept of "friends", I'm not a psychological wimp who needs to be "liked" in order to feel good, and I have better, more constructive ways of indicating to individuals who I actually know and care about if I like or dislike something they sent.
I regret that more and more institutions are using Facebook, not more open forms of communication that are accessible to all. I regret that people refer to this as an "ecosystem", when it is isn't (Facebook entities are neither alive nor interdependent).
Those like the author, who think that using Instagram is a way of getting off Facebook, apparently don't know that Facebook bought Instagram, and will probably any other operation to which its users flee.
That's why I in favor Sen. Elizabeth Warren's proposals to break up big tech, starting with Facebook, Google, Amazon and Apple, just as the US, as various times, has broken up oil, steel, phone, banking, hardware and software companies. To quote the song, "breaking up is hard to do", but it's more and more often the right thing. And we'll have more free market competition without these behemoths!
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I am 70, and dropped Facebook about 18 months ago. Difficult to give up, but I adopted a certain swagger when I told friends, "Oh, I don't have Facebook." I have become a regular library patron again -- books, please -- and I experienced a noticeable decline in personal angst when I stopped reading about friends/acquaintances whom I perceived to have it better than I do.
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Same here. Deleted after Cambridge Analytica, and not regretted it as FB still continues its bad practices.
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@Papercut61
Great post. Since I cancelled my FB account I, too, have re-discovered the library! It's a great feeling.
As for your friends on FB, now they can envy you!
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@Papercut61
I was first ridiculed for never signing up or using it, then went through a period receiving kudos. Now I repeatedly get, "Wow, how did you know better?" Serioiusly? It was plain as day. Everyone seems to forget that Zuckerberg started the whole thing, because he was a social outcast. Why would I listen to such a guy tell me how to communicate?
13
I haven't deleted FB yet because I have friends in other countries who I keep in touch with through Messenger. But I set my browser to block a list of sites that are time-wasters for me, and Facebook is on the list. The browser extension gives me a certain time limit on the sites (total, not per site) before they're blocked and I can't access them for the rest of the day. You can set the time limit to whatever you want - I chose 20 minutes, which is often a lot more than I need, but which gives me enough time to read and respond to messages if there are any. I think it's a good compromise for people who want to spend less time on FB but can't quite bring themselves to delete it.
8
I've been reading an interesting book about Digital Minimalism that proposes approaches social media in the same way as an Amish community approaches new technology; basically, a cost-benefit analysis. Sure, you may gain convenience for something or find some bit of info you might otherwise miss, but at the cost of how many hours of time, lost productivity, or just psychological stress? Everyone can make that choice for themselves. I gave up Facebook last year after I-can't-remember-which-of-the-many security leaks, and I don't miss it at all. Twitter is still hard for me to give up, but I'm quickly finding myself needing to wind it down in the same manner, with the knowledge that society happened before all this and will continue on without.
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@Shelley
Luckily you don’t need an account to check out what’s trending on Twitter. I have a few twitter accounts but I never use them or log in to see what’s trending. I deleted my rarely used Facebook account created using a pseudonym about two years ago (I never gave it any details of my real identity but after several big breaches even using a pseud felt risky). Businesses who use Facebook are accessible to the public and if they’re not, they don’t get my business.
Anyone else I can usually track online with a browser or if they know me, have ways of contacting me other than through social media.
7
I deleted my account in December. I'm 30, and I'd had the account since 17. I felt sick thinking how much of my life, months and months total, I'd given away to a company I detest, with almost no benefits in return.
I've been running and reading way more regularly lately, and now neither feels like a chore. It's like by cutting something toxic out, the good things in my life expanded to fill the void of open time. My relationships are the same as before, and I see how Facebook was only giving me the illusion of connection.
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After the Cambridge Analytica fiasco I completely deleted my FB account. There was a short period of withdrawal - about 5 days - but after that, I was f r e e. . .
And honestly, I share the same reactions that Mr. Chen described in this article. I gained at least 1 to 2 hours a day back, I continue to communicate with my family via e-mail and text, and I do not miss at all, the surface interaction I had with 350 of my "friends."
I am happily unplugged. And I don't miss it one bit.
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We are not Facebook's customers, we are their product. And not all the people they sell us to are trustworthy.
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Never used Facebook, nor Instagram, nor an such. Never bought anything due to an ad. This is not hard.
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Unfortunately, I can't get rid of FB. It is the message board that the outdoor group I belong to uses (and most of them love it; I'm the outlier).
So, I keep FB as far away from me as I can. No friends. All the information I gave them about myself is false. Never click on an ad. I look at FB about five minutes a day to see what trips are on offer and to respond if I want to join the trip. Sometimes I'll post a trip of my own. That's it.
As a result, the advertising on the page is so irrelevant that I don't even see it.
My points are: (1) FB is not to blame if you can't resist buying the things they show you--you are; and (2) you use as much or as little of FB as you want. You can have most of the benefits of FB without most of the burdens, if you can exercise a little self control.
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@Ken
But it is worse than aggravating---it is oppressive---that any group requires its member to subscribe to FB in order to participate.
My local Sierra Club chapter does this, and I always wonder how people can be aware enough to join an environmental group and yet still use FB without question.
Listservs work just as well for this kind of thing....
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I have Facebook because that's where I get all the update from my child's school and sports club but I unfollow people on my friend'st list that I am not particularly close to except my very few real friends and my family. I also do not follow any celebrity or famous personalities on FB. My news feed is clean and I check very few times for updates.
11
I deactivated my account about three years ago, and I experienced similar positive side-effects. My spending is down, my book-reading time is up, and my time with my immediate family is up.
My anger levels are down because I don't see the political ads. I watch specific food bloggers on YouTube now instead of the countless short videos for recipes and cooking tips. I get more out of the longer programs than the combined shorts.
I realized who my friends are, those who sincerely reach out for updates and get-togethers.
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I am constantly amazed how much time some of my friends spend on Facebook. I quit using it years ago for that very reason - too much wasted time. In addition I noticed how ads seemed to follow me around leading to a creep factor which I found disturbing. Like Brian I have not experienced any withdrawal symptoms.
15
Much of the danger involved with facebook can actually be mitigated using the following steps:
1) Remove the facebook and messenger apps from your phone and only interact with facebook via a browser on a computer. This removes a lot of their data siphon.
2) In your browser, install an ad-blocking program (I use uBlock origin), privacy badger, random-user-agent, and FB purity. These browser plugins will effectively disable all facebook-related ads and sponsored content. FB Purity gives you a lot of power over your facebook experience as well (like topic-blocking)
3) Make sure that these plugins are enabled in "incognito" or "private" mode in your browser
4) Only use facebook in a private/incognito window by itself.
Interacting with facebook in this manner will strip its ability to serve you ads, learn about your habits through its apps, and otherwise do nefarious things to collect data on you.
I've been using this method - or some version of it - for years, and as a result facebook (and its ad partners) know next to nothing about me
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@Ben Thanks. I would only add: don't get your news there, and mistrust any information you get. Even what looks like a trustworthy site could be fake.
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@Ben
Thanks!
I joined Facebook years ago in order to accept verified status here at the NYTimes. I can see that many people and organizations benefit from shared announcements (protests and thinks like the hikes mentioned above, organizations that "require" FB for communications). I'm too lazy to delete my account, but simply don't use it and delete its promotions from the email account I keep for that purpose.
Institutions that require FB should consider that they are making a donation to Zuckerberg et al. Is that what they want to do? Really?
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@Susan Anderson
What? NYTimes requires Facebook for verified status? Being a paying subscriber isn’t enough? This is outrageous. They have your credit card, address, and more.
I never tried for the status (is it even a thing anymore?) because I do get passionate and carried away enough to have my comments blocked every once in a while, which I appreciate because even though I’m tame in comparison, it keeps the truly odious trolls out of here.
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I deleted face book about two months ago. I had pretty much the same feeling towards it when I quit drugs and alcohol over 30 years ago. Kinda miss it, but not that much (facebook that is, still would love to do all the drugs and alcohol would it not destroy me and my life). I do find myself with more time to read things of value. I'm not in "regular contact" with some folks whom I miss, but I'm also not in regular contact with all of the nonsense either. It's a fair trade.
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I found a good way to keep Facebook: I blocked or unfriended everyone except for my real friends. I unfollowed all pages whether they are my favorite bands, news site, celebrities, political affiliation, etc. My feed is now mainly filled with postings from real friends. I also have Facebook installed on only one device - my wifi only iPad which sits at home all the time. I now look at Facebook on average of twice a week for just a few seconds each time. If it weren't for all the photos I uploaded, I might have permanently deleted my account months ago. This was how Facebook began and it's refreshing to go back to the old days. No more noise.
20
Facebook is a forum for too much sharing. People have lost all notions of privacy. If you didn't post about an event, someone else posts your photo without your permission. It is a place for unbelievable nosiness. More people should regain at least some of their privacy by deleting their facebook account. The term friend is used in such a strange manner that a friend is anyone who may accidentally click on a link. These are not your friends. You would not want to associate with most of them. It is not a contest to have the most hangers-on. Your actual friends associate with you in a more direct manner. If you are worried about missing out on targeted ads, don't worry, Google is very good at following you around on the internet and sending ads your way.
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I've never had a FB account, I keep in touch with friends through email, I use DuckDuckGo for my search engine, and I have ad bloc--so I never see ads. I don't order that much on line--mainly books. Why doesn't everyone do this?
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