Professional Hair Removal Catches On With the Preteen Set

You don't need a "doctor" to do laser. A laser technician that's trained in doing laser is more than sufficient to an expensive redundant "doctor".

It is essential to understand that New York is the only state in which this treatment is wholly unregulated. The person who does it may be a licensed esthetician, but the esthetics license doesn’t cover laser hair removal in the course of study. After suffering a minor (but permanent, and devastating) injury to my face at an expensive salon in Scarsdale (the outpost of a chain with several Manhattan locations), I eventually started looking into why. I learned the law, and I learned that medical spas in New York are charged a higher rate for liability insurance than the national rate because of injuries from laser hair removal. You can read my findings and see my source materials here: https://bit.ly/2PEbXcs

This makes me so sad to read. It is horrendous that we live in a society that is so oppressive of female body hair, which by the way is NATURAL, that children feel the need to remove it. They are barely pubescent and already appeasing this ridiculous social norm. Grow hair or remove it, if you want, but make sure it is what YOU want not what society is spoon feeding into.

So the solution to a young boy's meanness to make your young daughter get laser hair removal? Did you ever consider speaking to the boy, or boy's parents, or the coach? What will you do when someone tells your daughter to cover her face because people can see her nose? Will you have her nose surgically altered too? I sure hope this trend is restricted to NY and LA.

I'm so conflicted about this. It's easy to say "you're perfect just the way you are" and "you've gotta love and accept yourself" from the point of view of a seasoned and wisened adult. It's easy to be outraged that girls "this young" want hair removal. But put yourselves in the shoes of the insecure youth for a moment. Even if they agree with you in principle, it won't help them weather the bullying at school. Kids are mean, and body hair just may not be a battle worth fighting at that point in your life. When they gain enough self-confidence, they'll probably be glad to support the hairy cause for its own sake. But right now, that's not what's at stake here. Social life is hard enough at that age. You don't need to add unnecessary extra struggles. And just because they haven't brought it up or asked for a razor/laser treatment, it doesn't mean it isn't bothering them. Waiting for the kid to bring up the subject and ask for help isn't always realistic. Most kids are too embarrassed to talk about it. So the parent should check in and offer suggestions tactfully. And understand that dealing with the social fallout of having body hair isn't something kids should be forced to endure, at any age. Focus on what's safe instead of judging or moralizing.

My parents never addressed body hair directly or offered help. I was too mortified to walk into the store and buy myself a razor as a preteen (I got hairy very early). So I stopped wearing swimsuits or even shorts entirely for several years, sweating in long pants and sleeves in the blistering summer heat. My parents kept asking why I was dressing so weird and wasn't I hot like that... I never figured out if they were really so oblivious, or were trying to force me to speak up through humiliation, but it was just rubbing salt on my wound. In my desperation, I started stealing their razors to shave in secret and then put them back... Until one day, a new razor appeared in the bathroom, presumably for me. I started shaving regularly and the dark cloud slowly lifted up. We never talked about it. I still have and use it to this day - only changing the blades, but the main body is the same old thing from the 90's. I keep it as a reminder to never do that to my own kids. Rather than shaming girls for getting hair removal, appreciate the fact that they have an open line of communication with their parents and are getting the help they need. The humiliation of having to endure body hair in this looks-obsessed society isn't something we should force on kids just because we wish society's values were different. Because, they're not. The only thing worth questioning here is why these parents are choosing such aggressive methods when a razor or epilator work just fine and are much safer.

I am going in my late 50’s and have always been a hairy girl/woman; now it’s ridiculous and unmanageable. I remember using Jolene bleach on my mustache as a preteen. One of my artistic loves is Frida Kahlo, but I don’t want her hairy face, which I would have if I didn’t pluck, thread, etc. I understand the comments referring to what this tells young girls. However, as I get older, and am constantly sprouting hair where there wasn’t any, I get it. I think it has to be an individual case. The negativity does not take into account what other values these girls may be getting from their Mothers. If vanity is drummed into them, if their value is predicated upon their looks, then this is the beginning of a self esteem nightmare. But, if they are being asked more about what they love in life, if they’re reading great literature, and pursuing other interests and if they have good friends as well, then maybe this is just a hair begone issue. Balance people, balance.

This article is a bit awful. It’s almost suggesting that hair removal for young girls (it’s all girls) is a good idea. I understand why a teenager may want to remove dark facial hair. Beyond that - you are reinforcing the idea that women are naturally gross, instead of teaching these young girls to stand up for themselves and push back, and then make their own decisions about body hair when they are older and past the overly judgmental time of adolescence (and I guess pre-adolescence now)

We’re still teaching young folks that the key to self respect, value, & confidence is obtained through fixing our outer appearance. Might be a quick fix for youth, but isn’t real change & still depends on superficiality. Just sad.

i remember i was sitting in class once and a boy was staring at me. i asked why he was looking at me, thinking it might be for a nice reason. he said "i'm just looking at how the light catches on your moustache". the idea that hair is gross is so stupid. i love my boyfriend's hairy chest and legs. but he shaves his underarms because he says it makes him feel not so sweaty. shaving for yourself is best reason, not because of bullying.

Being a young girl with dark facial hair can be a miserable experience. It takes a strong constitution to endure the torment from boys and yes, other girls, over hairiness. Shaving, bleaching, waxing, chemical removal, and plucking hairs have been going on a long time. Laser removal is painful, expensive, and is NOT permanent. Just like electrolysis. Both can damage delicate skin. At puberty, menopause, and other times of hormonal flux, facial hair has a nasty way of reappearing anyway. It seems odd to use these methods for prepubescent girls. I can understand above-the-neck excess hair removal for young girls when the hair is dark and causes her embarrassment. But some of this bodily hair concern seems obsessive and unhealthy....and some, like below-the-belt removal, is downright weird.

Sorry, after everything I’ve heard and read about “body positivity” and “accepting yourself” this seems pathetic. Also interesting to read such a rigorously non-judgmental article on the topic in the stridently feminist (sure, why not) NYT.

Did the NYT make an editorial decision to treat stories like this more as Style advisories (“Alert! Is your 10-year old daughter hair-free?!”) and less as news from the front in an arms race that women, girls and other humans are losing? Or are the editors just confused? With each new body part deemed defective if not altered, marketers, “influencers,” and NYT journalists set the bar higher for women and girls already leaning in so far they’ve lost their balance. They push harried parents to prioritize big salaries over family time. They pump up some industries and their lobbyists (beauty care, AI, cosmetic -meds and -genetic engineering) over others (public education, disease research, infrastructure). Sure, you give an obligatory nod to those outside your demo (ie the vast majority) who can’t afford this. (“There’s always Nair”—Hilarious!) and a woke nod to the trans. But how about the confusion this adds to Me-Too and incel debates? And pity the parents who just clicked over from your piece warning that they’ll whoosh down the slippery slope to $1 million college-admission felonies (or the Nair equivalent) if they don’t let their kids be the fixers of their own lives. Hm. Maybe put them together this way? Fourth-grader: “Daddy, I’ve got it! The fix for my popularity problem is total-body lasering, a butt tuck and $5,000 more for shoes!” Dad: “There’s my smart, MIT-bound sweetie! I knew you could beat the bullies on your own if you tried!” Ah, the marketplace of ideas.

A bigger problem than sending people far younger than necessary for waxings is not controlling bullying and mocking. I am glad that some kids are feeling a better sense of confidence. But it’s outrageous that there are not at least equally focused efforts on eliminating the dynamics that create this need in the first place.

It isn't just girls. My teenage son has been shaving his chest and legs and armpits for years now. The only hair he doesn't worry about is on his face.

This is so silly. All you need is one of those motorized rotating tweezer thingys (epilators). I've been using one ever since they came out. Yes, they do hurt, but so do the other procedures, and they hurt less and less with time. You do have to be brave in the beginning, but it saves a lot of money, no appointments and driving necessary, and they don't make you break out. They work on face, legs, underarms. After a while the hairs give up and stop growing back and there's less and less of them. My mother spent a fortune on electrolysis, and it never worked as well.

Knowing how much stress appearance plays with females, especially young girls, I can sympathize with all who make statements here. I feel for the girls who have defect(?) that hide their real beauty, so I had some young Muslims girls who worked in a local supermarket who loved having an American male be nice to them, so I had a small fan club. I noticed that one was very demonstrative of friendship but never smiled openly. I found out that she was from a quite poor family, even here with a single mother as provider. She had a dental problem of bad natural crown on her 2 front teeth which was cheap for Americans but impossible for her mother to afford so I initialized a dental visit and then paid to have it done. She is now a new person. She is Muslim and I am not, and I am not a relative so all that I can have to do with her is occasional SMS messages now with bright pictures of a bright pretty teeth smile. For me, I saw the problem and I did care so it was done. As for all the hair, this column has been an awakening for me. Thank you, this corrected my thinking. Our girls need more/better leadership AND understanding.

I kept waiting for an explanation of why the people in the first paragraph didn't just buy a razor, but it never came.

I am so proud of my 10-year old who has opted not to remove her underarm hair. She has received comments at school that it is gross, but does not want to change herself. I would support her choice no matter what she decides. She is smart, strong, beautiful and athletic. I can only hope that her confidence stays with her and extends to others in her generation.

The article only mentions cosmetic reasons for removal, but not medical ones. Excess facial hair, specifically, can be a sign of hormonal imbalances. it was one of the clues in the puzzle of my now 19 year old daughter being diagnosed with PCOS at 16. Medication has helped some with the facial hair, but she has to wax her "sideburns" regularly, as well as eyebrows and lips because the hair that grows in is not like normal facial hair, but is coarse and curly. Some people have these things done for medical reasons - not just to meet societal expectations.

I’m glad that I didn’t have this option when I was younger. I’m a person of color and I was born female and I was uncomfortable with my body hair as a pre-teen because I was teased for it. If someone had said I could have laser hair removal done, I would have jumped for it. But when I realized that I’m transgender, I also realized that I wasn’t uncomfortable with my body hair because it was something I disliked- I was uncomfortable with it solely because other people didn’t like it. Now I’m on testosterone and I’m glad I still have my leg hair and arm hair. A pre-teen is in a new self-conscious stage of life where they’re aware of other people judging them for their looks but they don’t yet have the self-confidence to reject peer pressure, parental pressure, and/or societal pressure. That means they don’t necessarily know how to separate their own feelings about their body from the messages they’re told by everyone else. Getting laser hair removal done as a pre-teen would have taken away the option to later have masculine body hair as a trans young adult. So I’m glad that my parents didn’t encourage me to follow through with laser.

Reading this depresses me. As a woman I know that I will always be judged by the way I look, no matter how competent and smart I am. These young girls and their parents have obviously internalized this as well. We can talk about gender equality all day long but until we adjust our ridiculous expectations towards women and their appearance, we will never have gender equality.

If you want to know why girls' happiness and confidence plummet at puberty, read this article. Everything boils down to a girl's appearance, and no girls's appearance is ever good enough. Her nose, her complexion, her hips, her breasts, her ankles, her armpits, her hair color are all subject to rigid scrutiny and always found wanting. Nothing else matters at all: not character, not talent, not brains. A happy and confident child suddenly realizes she is nothing more than a set of inferior body parts.

As a small-town girl at a SUNY school in the 90's, I was shocked to learn about girls on Long Island who had nose jobs. I'll keep my own daughter away from the appearance-obsessed wealthy enclaves of the NYC area and LA. I can understand why kids and parents make individual choices to drop hundreds of dollars on hair removal for children in certain communities. But I believe cosmetic treatments for kids happen within a unique (and to me, peculiar) culture. At least I hope so!

Sorry but I disagree that nair or shaving or anything else works as well as permanent removal. Over the course of their lives they will substantially reduce the time spent on grooming. If you are going to do it, do it sooner rather than later.